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Since the world almost ended, Nancy and Robin are closer.
Nancy hasn’t had a close girl friend in so long, not since Barb, and it’s nice. It’s nice, but it’s also different. It doesn’t feel like with Barb, although perhaps that can be chalked up to who Nancy is now, who she’s become, so far from who she was three years ago.
Somehow Nancy doesn’t think that’s the case though.
She wouldn’t be feeling this draw, this pull, this unquestionable magnetic force that she feels with Robin with Barb- with anyone.
It feels different.
The explanation for why it feels different escapes her for a long time, no matter how often she thinks about it, no matter how many nights she tosses and turns and tries to reason with herself.
She doesn’t really know what makes it click, but suddenly she thinks she understands.
It feels like Nancy might just have a big stupid crush on Robin.
—
Once the feeling has been identified, things get a little easier for Nancy. She spends a day or two in turmoil before she decides it’s time to grow up and deal with it.
Coming to terms with her own sexuality isn’t all that complicated, actually. She lives in a town that’s been infested by monsters, she’s dropped into an alternate dimension via a hole in the bottom of a lake, fired a sawn off shotgun at an evil wizard who was possessing and murdering her classmates, all before she graduated from high school. Realising that she’s not straight just doesn’t feel so momentous compared to all of that.
—
So, that part of the revelation is dealt with. The other part isn’t quite as straightforward.
She doesn’t know that Robin’s gay. Or at least, she’s never been told, never had any sort of solid confirmation that Robin likes girls, but she considers herself observant.
She also doesn’t know that Will likes Mike, or that Will’s mom and Hopper are-
She doesn’t know, but she knows.
Maybe it’s how she dresses, all shirts and pants and suspenders, maybe it’s her insistence on her platonic with a capital P friendship with Steve, maybe it’s how she tries to seem disinterested when they all watch Fast Times together, glancing around like anything is more interesting than what's on the screen.
(Okay, maybe Nancy’s not the most reliable source on that last one, because she had a hard time tearing her eyes away from Phoebe Cates long enough to watch Robin as well. Maybe it takes one to know one).
All this to say, Nancy’s fairly confident that Robin isn’t entirely straight, and it's with that assumption that she decides to do something about her big stupid crush.
—
Of course, “doing something”, is a very vague statement, a promise with no actual solid plan.
—
Nancy drops by Family Video one afternoon when she’s picking up Mike from the arcade.
There’s a girl from school, Vickie, Nancy remembers, leaning against the counter talking animatedly with Robin. Robin doesn’t notice her coming in, so Nancy wanders the aisles of videos while she waits for Vickie to leave.
She doesn’t intend to spy on them, except this isn’t a big store, and so what if she’s angling herself towards them as she browses?
She hears snippets of the conversation, inside jokes about band practice and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and Tammy Thompson and then-
Vickie’s hand lands on Robin’s forearm as they talk, and Nancy can’t hear what they’re saying anymore, can only hear the roar of that ugly green monster inside of her.
She focuses on the video in front of her, picks it up, reads the case, tries not to look up at the obvious flirting happening in front of her.
“That’s a good one. Have you seen it?” Robin appears next to her, making Nancy jump. She glances around for Vickie only to find it’s just the two of them left.
“Nance?” Robin waves a hand in front of her face, “You in there?”
Nancy snaps her attention back to Robin.
“Right, yes. Sorry, I was a little zoned out there,” Nancy tries, fails, to remember Robin’s initial question, “Sorry, what did you say?”
Robin laughs, oblivious.
“I said, that’s a good one, have you seen it?”
Nancy looks at the video she’s holding. ET.
“No, I haven’t.” She sets it back on the shelf. She doesn’t want to talk about ET right now.
“Oh, okay!” If Nancy is coming across as annoyed, Robin doesn’t seem fazed by it at all.
“If you’re looking for Steve, he left early. I think he has another date tonight-” Robin pauses, like she’s said something wrong. “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk about Steve’s dating life with you, that probably isn’t something you want to hear-”
Nancy cuts her off with a laugh.
“Robin, it’s fine, really,” she feels a smile making its way onto her face, sour mood evaporating, Vickie forgotten.
How does she do that?
“I didn’t come to talk to Steve.” She rummages in her bag for a second before pulling out a video. “I just came to return this.”
Robin’s smile fades for barely a second, replaced for the briefest of moments with something like- disappointment?
It’s gone before Nancy can question it, but she continues anyway
“Plus, I wanted to see my favorite Family video worker”, Nancy punctuates the sentence with a wink, relishing the way Robin’s cheeks darken even as she laughs.
“You mean Keith, right? He’s in the back, I can go get him,” Robin jokes as she starts to turn away.
“Robin, no!” Nancy laughs, grabbing at her wrist to stop her leaving. “Please do not bring Keith out here, he’s made all of my brother's friends promise him a date with me and I can’t do that.”
Robin pretends to think for a second.
“Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.”
Nancy beams as they walk towards the counter. “So, how is your shift going? Did anything exciting happen?”
“Well, Vickie was here, you know, the girl from band?”
Be a good friend, Nancy reminds herself. She nods once.
“She’s back with her stupid boyfriend again, which is totally fine, she can do what she wants except, he’s stupid, you know? Anyway, it surprised me that I wasn’t that annoyed by it? Like a month ago I would have been so upset because I used to have this like, massive crush on her-”
Used to.
As in, past tense. Not anymore.
Nancy is so fixated on the no-longer-current nature of Robin’s crush that she almost misses what’s just happened.
Oh shit, she just came out to me.
Robin freezes, eyes wide. “I didn’t mean- I meant just- You know-” she stutters, trying to backtrack.
“Robin, hey” Nancy’s voice is soft as she reaches for her, fingers landing on the counter just short of Robin’s arm, “it’s okay.”
Robin is looking at her like a deer in headlights.
“It’s okay,” Nancy repeats, “it doesn’t matter to me.”
Robin exhales shakily.
“I’m sorry, I got carried away and forgot I hadn’t told you about that.”
“It’s okay,” Nancy says for a third time, “you didn’t have to tell me”.
“But I wanted to! Nance, I really did, I just got so scared every time.”
“You don’t have to be scared of me Robin. I won’t tell anyone.”
Robin visibly relaxes.
“Plus, it would be a little hypocritical of me to judge someone for liking girls,” Nancy adds, right as Mike sticks his head in the door.
“Nancy, can we go already?”
Nancy smirks at Robin as she watches the gears turn in her head, mouth hanging open.
“See you later, Robin”
She doesn’t get a response, but it feels like a win anyway.
—
Nancy picks Robin up with Mike, Will, and El already in the backseat of her car.
They’re going mini golfing at a place an hour outside of Hawkins, at the insistence of Dustin (“It’s the best one, I swear. We have to go.”)
Nancy’s mom insisted that she go along with the kids (“I don’t want Steve to have to look after all of them alone, Nancy. Plus, Mike needs you to drive him.”)
Nancy had protested, but as soon as she learned Robin was also coming, she suddenly wasn’t as bothered.
Weird, huh?
Which is how she finds herself now, driving down the highway with her brother and his friends asleep in the back seat, and Robin fidgeting next to her.
Out of the corner of her eye she sees Robin take a glance at the back seat, before turning the radio down.
“Nancy.”
“Robin,” Nancy smirks. She looks nervous.
“We haven’t really seen each other much since you came into work last week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said and I just wondered- I mean I guess I wanted to ask if it’s true? Or were you just messing with me?”
Nancy checks the rearview to ensure the kids are asleep, before replying quietly, “Why would I joke about something like that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe to make me feel better? Or maybe to embarrass me?”
Nancy turns to look at Robin.
“Do you really think I’d do something like that Robin?”
Robin stutters out a “No, but-”
“You’re my best friend. I care so much about you. I know other people might have been awful to you about this but I wouldn’t.” She lets her free hand drop to Robin’s knee, hot under her touch. “I would never.”
Robin breathes a sigh of relief.
They drive in silence for a few more minutes. Nancy keeps her hand on Robin’s leg, absentmindedly stroking it with her thumb. Robin stares as though she’s transfixed, but doesn’t make any attempt to remove it.
Nancy feels her blood pumping in her ears as she debates speaking again.
Fuck it. It’s better to know.
“You said you used to have a crush on Vickie. Is that used to as in- past tense?”
“Yeah, I mean, she has a boyfriend again and the more we hung out I guess I just realized she’s too much like me. I think we’re better as friends.”
Nancy lets out a small noise of agreement.
Don’t ask it Nancy, don’t push it.
“Is there someone else?”
Fuck
Robin hesitates for a moment, but before she can answer a tired voice yawns from the back seat, “Are we there yet?”
Nancy looks in the mirror to see all three of them starting to wake. She withdraws her hand from Robin’s leg slowly, but not before one last gentle squeeze.
“Almost. Ten more minutes.”
Robin turns the radio up again, and Nancy is content to just listen to her sing
—
The summer is hot.
Nancy spends more time at Steve’s pool than she has since-
Since everything. Since Barb.
And it’s hard, of course it is, but as time goes by, it gets easier. Or she gets stronger, she can’t really tell.
The summer is hot, but god, Robin is hotter.
She’s all long legs and freckled shoulders and messy hair, and Nancy is embarrassed by how her jaw drops open the first time she sees her in a two piece.
She’s even more embarrassed by how the words get stuck in her throat when she tries to talk to Robin.
“You, uh, you look good” she chokes out, eyes dragging down Robin’s body.
Robin looks down at herself. “Really?” She seems self conscious, so Nancy does her best to pull her eyes back to Robin’s face.
“Mm-hm” Nancy nods. “Really good.”
“Thanks. I mean, you do too! I really like your, uh, bikini”.
“Thanks.”
It’s awkward, not like their usual easy banter, and for a moment Nancy allows herself to entertain the idea that Robin is as hot and bothered as she is right now.
“Can I get you a beer?” Nancy gestures to the cooler next to her.
Robin accepts, sitting down on the same lounger as Nancy before cracking it open.
“Cheers. To summer.”
“To summer,” Nancy echoes.
To you looking like this, she thinks.
The slow trickle of beers throughout the day has Nancy feeling bold. She allows herself to stare at Robin as she jokes with Steve, allows her eyes to wander where they aren’t supposed to, allows herself to imagine.
Has to excuse herself to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face when she imagines a little too much.
She bumps into Robin as she opens the bathroom door again.
“Hey! There you are!”
“Here I am.” Nancy steps aside to let Robin in, but Robin turns to head back outside.
“Don’t you need to go?”
“No, uh, I was just coming to check on you,” Robin mumbles.
“Why?” Nancy asks.
Robin hesitates before she answers, “I was worried about you.”
Nancy looks at her questioningly.
“I just- I know that your memories here aren’t necessarily good, and when you left so abruptly I thought- well, I thought it might have gotten to be too much for you and I worried you might be having a breakdown,” Robin trails off.
Nancy’s heart swells with something she can’t quite name.
“No, Robin, I’m okay,” she says softly. She reaches for Robin then, overwhelmed with emotions, and pulls her into a hug.
Robin’s arms wrap around her shoulders easily, cheek resting against her head.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s this for?”
Nancy giggles, muffled against Robin’s shoulder.
“Thank you for looking out for me,” she whispers.
Robin pulls Nancy tighter against her.
The day melts into night, and the group ends up sitting together by the pool. Steve is talking about something, Nancy doesn’t really care what because-
Because how could she think about anything but the girl in front of her.
Robin sits on the ground, one leg drawn up towards her and the other outstretched, with a jacket thrown over the top of her bikini. She takes a long gulp from her beer and Nancy watches the bob of her throat while she does it.
She suddenly feels creepy, invasive, staring so openly at Robin like this, until she meets Robin’s eyes, staring back at her with the same half-lidded desire, dark and wanting.
Nancy smirks, Robin blushes.
The beer is rushing to her head and Nancy feels hungry.
—
“Bowling?” Nancy asks, incredulously.
Robin nods.
“I suck at bowling.”
“I do too! But we can put the rails up or use the ramp or just be bad at it together!”
Nancy isn’t convinced.
(Yes she is, she was convinced before Robin even opened her mouth)
“I don’t know,” she trails off.
“Come on! It’ll be fun, and I need someone there who won’t be as intensely competitive as Steve and Eddie.”
Nancy pretends to think for a second longer.
“Fine.”
“Yeah?” Robin lights up like a dog who just got told she can go on a w-a-l-k. Nancy can’t help the grin spreading to her face too.
“Yeah. If you promise we can be bad at it together.”
“I promise! I’m gonna be so awful, you’re going to look like a pro next to me.”
Nancy doesn’t suck at bowling, at least not as much as she thought, but Nancy does suck at doing things she’s not good at.
But Robin, well, Robin seems to delight in being bad at it, and something about that is incredibly contagious.
Nancy finds herself doubled over in laughter as another of Robin’s balls rolls straight into the gutter, and Robin turns around and drops to her knees dramatically.
“Nance, you gotta teach me your ways,” she says, and Nancy giggles.
“Hey! What about me? Why don’t you want to learn my ways?” Steve asks, offended. Robin ignores him, focused on choosing her next ball.
Nancy joins her.
“Well,” she says conspiratorially, “the secret is, of course, choosing the right ball for your fingers.”
Robin listens and nods, holding out her hands.
“Whats your advice for mine?”
It feels like they’re alone in the room. Nancy takes her hands, studies them, then points to the heaviest ball she can see.
“It has to be this one.”
Robin laughs, and commits to the bit, picking up the ball with two hands and clumsily throwing it towards the pins. Somehow, it stays on the lane right until the very end, taking down two pins with it, and Robin celebrates like she’s won.
Nancy barely registers it, too focused on the ghost of Robin’s hand in hers, and her newly awakened need to get better acquainted with them.
Steve and Eddie out-perform them both, obviously, and Nancy doesn’t care. She feels drunk every time Robin looks at her, doesn’t ever want the evening to end.
So she doesn’t let it.
“Do you need a ride home?” Nancy asks as they walk to the parking lot.
Robin glances around. “No, I should be okay to walk,” she trails off.
Nancy rolls her eyes, grabbing Robin’s wrist, “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“No, really, I don’t want to be any trouble,” Robin protests, even as she’s being dragged towards Nancy’s car.
“Robin,” Nancy stops, next to the passenger side door, “I’m serious. It’s no trouble. I want to drive you.”
Robin’s protests stop, and she allows Nancy to open the door for her.
It’s dark out, but it’s not late yet. Nancy doesn’t have anywhere to be.
“Do you have plans tonight?” she asks as she slides into the driver's seat.
Robin shakes her head.
“I want to take you somewhere.”
—
Nancy pulls up at a lookout just outside of Hawkins.
“Do you bring all your girls here?” Robin jokes.
“Only the pretty ones,” Nancy answers without thinking.
If she could meet Robin’s eyes after saying that, she’d see a blush creeping up her cheeks, but instead she simply reaches across her to open the glove box, pulling out a joint.
“Eddie gave me this. Do you want to smoke it with me?”
“I didn’t know you smoked, Wheeler.”
“I don’t. I mean, I’ve just been having a hard time relaxing lately. I thought maybe this could help.”
“Hey, it’s all good! You don’t have to explain yourself, I’ll gladly help you out with this bad boy.”
Nancy is nervous. She’s never done this before, but Eddie assured her it would be fine.
It’s a weak joint. Just take it easy. Who are you trying to impress?
(Robin, obviously)
Nancy hopes her hands shaking doesn’t give her away, as she perches the joint between her lips and brings the lighter to the end.
Robin is looking at her like she’s the world.
Nancy inhales deeply and-
Oh, fuck. That’s a mistake.
The smoke hits her lungs and she chokes out a cough, eyes watering. Robin’s hand is steady on her back as she recovers, until she bursts out laughing.
“I guess it’s obvious I haven’t done this before.”
“I haven’t either. We can figure it out together.” Robin plucks the joint from Nancy’s hand and takes a slow breath.
Nancy can’t breathe, and it isn’t because she’s still coughing.
Robin looks so cool, so effortless, so natural.
Until she also starts to cough.
Watery eyes meet Nancy’s and she’s lightheaded.
Surely it hasn’t hit her so quickly.
“I think,” Robin says, voice raspy, “that went about as well as expected.”
“Yeah,” laughs Nancy, “let me try again.”
Robin hands her back the joint, and she raises it to her lips. She keeps her eyes locked on Robin’s, forces herself to relax, inhales slowly.
Holds.
Exhales.
Easy.
“Better, right?” she grins at Robin, who reaches for it once more, fingers brushing as she takes it.
You don’t have to smoke it all.
Eddie’s advice rings in her head and when Robin successfully takes a hit without coughing, Nancy stubs out the joint.
“Do you know how long this takes to kick in?” asks Robin.
Nancy shrugs.
“Not long, I think.”
Nancy feels light.
Maybe it’s the joint, or maybe it’s the lingering feeling from all that flirting at the bowling alley, or maybe it’s just being around Robin that does this to her now.
“Wanna sit in the backseat?” she asks, and without waiting for an answer gets out of the car and slides into the back. Robin joins her a second later.
When she looks back on this she might blame it on the weed, pretend she’s higher than she is, but Nancy knows deep down that she is fully in control of herself and her actions. Still, she wraps that blanket of denial around her and takes and takes and takes exactly what she wants.
What she wants is to sit between Robin’s legs, half lying with her back against Robin’s chest, legs extended across the back seat. Robin doesn’t object, just continues to ramble about whatever it was she was talking about, something about cars maybe?
Once Nancy is content with her position she reaches for Robin’s arm, pulling it around her waist so she can play with her hands, and Robin’s rambling stops.
Nancy gently caresses Robin’s fingers, studies the size and the shape of each of them.
They’re long, she thinks, they’d feel so good-
She stops herself mid thought, heat rushing to her belly.
“You’ve got such lovely hands,” she whispers, “I think about them a lot.”
“You do?”
Nancy nods, moving her focus to Robin’s rings, gently rotating one of them around her finger.
“I really love your rings, they look so good on you.”
“Thanks,” Robin giggles lazily.
Nancy does what she’s been thinking about all day and slots their hands together. Again, Robin doesn’t object
I look so good on you.
—
Nancy thinks about that evening, the press of Robin’s chest against her back, her voice low in her ear, her fingers, her fingers, to the point that she feels insane. She lets her hand drift more than once to between her legs, late at night, under her sheets, and replays it over and over again.
She’s going to lose her mind.
—
Nancy really feels she can’t make it any more obvious right now.
The movie flashes on screen as Nancy leans closer into Robin’s side, fingers brushing lightly over the rings on her right hand before settling next to it, palm up.
An invitation.
Take it, please.
She keeps her focus on the screen, but out of the corner of her eye sees Robin looking at her hands. She feels Robin’s pinky finger twitch against hers, can almost hear the internal argument happening in the other girl's head before she extends just one finger to cover Nancy’s. The touch is barely there, feather light, full of hesitation.
And Robin is holding her breath.
Nancy moves her hand just a centimetre, so two of Robin’s fingers lay over hers, and smiles to herself.
It’ll do, for now.
Of course, she doesn’t pay attention to a second of the movie.
The credits roll, and nobody moves.
A quick glance through the darkness shows every single other person in here is asleep. Nancy turns her head back towards Robin, fingers still lightly entwined with hers, eyes still trained stubbornly on the screen.
“Robin”, she breathes.
Robin turns her head, so much closer than Nancy had expected. She draws in a startled breath, but doesn’t move away.
“Hey,” continues Nancy, voice barely more than a whisper.
“Hey.” Her voice is raspy from not speaking for two hours, and fuck. Robin is so close she can feel her breath against her face, shallow. So close, Nancy thinks she must be able to hear her heart threatening to beat through her chest.
Robin’s eyes dart down to her lips.
Nancy forgets how to breathe.
This is it. Robin knows, Robin must know.
Nancy’s eyes flicker shut, anticipation swirling wildly in her stomach.
“Will! Your brother’s here!”
The basement door swings open, light pouring into the room as Mrs Wheeler shouts down the stairs.
Nancy flinches, moving to sit upright as the kids start to stir awake. She looks back at Robin one last time before standing, only to find her staring at their now fully-entwined hands.
Huh.
When did that happen?
“You’re staying here tonight, right Robin?” Nancy asks, hating how it sounds like a plea.
(Even though it is. She wants to beg Robin, stay, stay and never go anywhere without me again.)
Robin nods.
“If that’s still okay?” she asks, like something has changed in the time it took to watch a video.
Nancy hopes something did change.
She nods quickly, her face hot.
“Of course! Of course it’s okay.”
She pulls Robin up from the couch with their still-joined hands, and begins to drag her towards the steps.
“Come on, let's go upstairs.”
Nancy doesn’t even stop to say goodbye to any of their guests, how can she be expected to think of anything except Robin’s fingers loosely twitching against hers, Robin’s eyes as she looked at her, Robin, Robin, Robin.
They don’t speak again. Not in the time it takes to weave through the waking bodies of their friends downstairs, not while they change, not while they brush their teeth, not until Nancy is tucking herself in and Robin looks like she’s about to make a bed on the floor.
“Robin.”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
Robin hesitates. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. There’s plenty of room”
Even if there wasn’t, please come here.
Robin slides under the covers next to her, and Nancy reaches to flick off the light before laying down on her side facing Robin.
The air feels electric.
Robin lies on her back, rigid, tense, eyes on the ceiling.
“You can relax, you know?” Robin rolls onto her side facing Nancy like she’s just snapped from a daydream.
“Right! Yeah, totally, I’m relaxed! I’m relaxed”
“Are you?” Nancy smirks.
Robin laughs weakly. “Always relaxed, aren’t I?”
Nancy pauses for a moment.
“Do you want to talk about what happened downstairs?”
“Nothing happened! I mean, right? We were just friends watching a movie, just nor-” Robin’s breath catches in her throat as Nancy’s fingers find hers under the blanket. “Just normal friendship activities” she finishes, in a breathy exhale.
“Do you really think so?” Nancy asks, teasing.
She can just make out Robin nodding through the darkness.
So. Fucking. Frustrating.
“Robin,” Nancy says again.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think those were normal friendship activities.” Nancy brings her free hand up to brush Robin’s hair from her eyes, voice low.
“No?”
“And I don’t think these are normal friendship activities either.” She’s flirting now, openly, brazenly, confident in the darkness and in Robin’s fingers entwined with hers.
Her hand traces across Robin’s cheek, down her jaw, before coming to rest at the back of her neck, playing lightly with the hair there.
Robin is speechless.
First time for everything.
“Robin, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.”
Robin nods. Nancy shifts closer. She can feel Robin’s breath on her lips.
“Have you really not noticed how much I’ve wanted this?”
Robin leans forward, but Nancy pulls back.
“Nuh-uh. I need you to answer me.”
“I might have noticed,” Robin whispers, “but I didn’t want to be presumptuous.”
Nancy rolls her eyes.
“You’re such an idiot,” she mumbles as she finally closes the gap between them.
—
Down the line, Nancy will make fun of Robin for being oblivious, and Robin will deny it, claiming she knew all along what Nancy was doing, that it was all part of her masterplan to seduce Nancy Wheeler.
Nancy will roll her eyes and laugh and kiss the faux cockiness right off Robin’s face.