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Mike and Will are staring at the raindrops falling down his bedroom window. After what’s probably the hundredth raindrop race, Will voices out, “Okay, I’m officially bored now.”
“I was already bored 10 minutes ago.”
“What’d you wanna do then?” Will turns to Mike, both sitting cross-legged on Mike’s bed. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t be bored if I knew.” Will groans in frustration and falls back, now looking up at Mike. “We can play a game?” Mike asks. “Sure. What’d you have in mind?”
“What about…”
You see, Mike has a plan. Has had one for a very long time. After careful consideration, this seems to be the best way to approach it. A game. Innocent enough to not draw suspicion but also serious enough to breach the topic. One that has never been brought up in months. A secret unspoken rule to never speak of it.
He’s breaking the rule today.
“Truth or dare?” At this, Will sits up. “Okay. You go first. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.” Will presses his back flat against the window, sitting opposite Mike. He brings a hand to his chin, feigning thought. “Alright hmm…” as Will ponders over his question, the gears in Mike’s head is turning, working out how to say what’s been lingering in him for weeks and months. If he should stick to the readied script he’d been practicing or just go with the flow? If this plan would even work.
“Is…your favourite colour still blue?” Will asks. Mike’s face scrunches up in confusion. He wasn’t sure what Will would’ve asked him but he definitely didn’t think it would be that. “Yeah? Why would it change?”
“Well a lot has changed since I was in Lenora. I was just making sure.”
Oh.
Mike has a growing doubt Will might be on the same train of thought as him. “Right. Your turn. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Why did you lie about the painting, Will?” Oops. Mike did not mean to bring it up this quick but if Will already addressed the elephant in the room—presence heavy for the past 18 months—then Mike can just jump straight into it right?
Though in all honestly, it just slipped out. Well, whatever, the question’s in the air now, waiting for Will’s ear and head to catch up to it. Will’s eyes shoot up to meet Mike’s. His lips quiver from wanting to mouth something but not having the words for it.
The question has been gnawing at Mike ever since the lie tumbled out of Will’s lips all that time ago in the van. Will’s first lie to Mike, ever. Now Mike isn’t stupid. He knows that painting was from Will and he knows everything Will said came from his own feelings, his heart, not El’s.
Mike knows all this but what he wants to know is why.
He thinks he might know that as well. Maybe.
“Can I choose dare?” Will asks, averting his gaze to the duvet. Mike clenches his jaw. “Fine. I dare you to tell me why you lied about the painting.”
“Mike, come on. That’s not fair.”
“No, you’re not playing fair.” The room goes quiet. Mike takes a deep breathe in and inches closer to Will. His voice and eyes both softer now—almost pleading. “Why did you lie about the painting, Will?”
Will gulps, still not looking at Mike. “I just—I thought it would mean more to you coming from El.” Mike’s brows furrow. Will has always been like this. Too sweet, too kind too selfless for his own good.
How willing he is to sacrifice his own feelings, push them aside to the deepest crevices of his heart if it just so meant the happiness of others. Of Mike.
But Mike isn’t happy. How can he be if Will isn’t?
And to think Will never got to be on the receiving end of love, Mike’s chest weighs heavy with sorrow. Mike could never, ever, let someone else take the credit for his hard work, his love. He wants Will to know, everything he does, has done, will do, is all from him for Will.
Thankfully Mike’s the writer between them.
“Will… you know it would mean just as much coming from you right?” Even before you said El commissioned it, I couldn’t be happier that you made it for me, Will. You. Not El. You mean a lot to me Will—a lot.” So much so he can’t only talk about it.
He sure can write it tho.
Will finally looks up, if Mike notices his eyes glass over just slightest, he doesn’t say anything. The corners of Will’s lips turn up in a tiny smile.
And just like that Mike’s feeling a lot braver. He presses, “So all those things you said, was it from you?” Will looks down just as fast as before. “That’s another question, it’s my turn now. Truth or dare?” Mike laughs. Well, not like he doesn’t know the answer to that. Maybe he just wants to tease Will. Maybe. “Alright fine. Dare.”
Will’s brows furrow. “Well—okay. I dare you to tell me…” Mike laughs again. “Did you miss me at all?” Mike’s jaw goes slack. Will still averts his eyes but Mike knows what his face looks like. He thinks he doesn’t even know himself as well as he knows Will. And isn’t that a scary thought.
“Will… of course I did. Why would you even ask that?” Will’s looking at him and Mike can almost see all the thoughts spiralling in his head. Will always thinks too much. And Mike always doesn’t think enough. “Is that—“
“Yes Will, that’s my question. Why would you ask that?” Will’s biting his lower lip and Mike just wants to pry it out with his thumb. “You couldn’t even hug me, Mike. I was so excited to see you. I was counting the days and you just—you didn’t even care…”
Mike straightens his back. He knows that voice of Will’s. Will’s holding back tears. Mike wants to jump off a building knowing he’s the reason why. He can almost physically hear the sound of his heart cracking down the middle. The last thing Will deserves after all he’s been through is being treated like trash. And that’s exactly what Mike did.
God does Mike hate himself right now.
“Will I—“ Will‘s eyes still locked onto the comforter. Mike reaches out, placing his own cold hand over Will’s. “Will, I’m so sorry. I was such an asshole then and you didn’t deserve any of it. At all. I missed you, Will. So so much. It’s just… El wrote to me that there was a girl you liked? The one you were painting for and—when I knew it was for me instead I just—I got jealous. I didn’t wanna be replaced. I’m sorry, Will.” Mike’s voice cracks towards the end.
They finally lock eyes. Will flips his palm over and their fingers interlock. Suddenly it’s so much warmer inside this room. “No one could ever replace you, Mike.” And Will’s smiling and Mike’s heart just about melts into his soul. Mike squeezes Will’s hand in his.
The tension present earlier no longer there, replaced by warmth and comfort. “You too, Will. You’re irreplaceable to me.” Now they’re both grinning, hands in each other’s grips, matching flushed faces.
Phase 1 of Mike Wheeler’s plan. A success!
Time to execute Phase 2.
Mike snickers. “Your turn right. Tell me about your first kiss.” Every time Will thinks he can decipher Mike’s next thought, Mike just does the complete opposite. Almost like Mike doesn’t connect the wires in his brain to his mouth before the words escape.
Well, Mike’s just smiling at Will, all innocent. And Mike’s almost guilty for the question until Will’s hand twitches in his grasp as the colour in his cheeks darken. Seeing Will flustered, god is it so worth it every time.
Now Mike knows Will hasn’t had his first kiss yet. Mike knows Will would’ve told him, definitely. So why did he even ask? Great question.
“Wait, weren’t you gonna ask about—“ Will starts.
“Nope. I think I know the answer to that.” Goddamn it. Of course Mike already knows. He always does. “Right uh.” Mike’s smile widens. Thank god Will isn’t looking at Mike or the shit eating grin on his face.
“I uh—haven’t yet.” Will’s voice is so quiet Mike almost chuckles. “Sorry, what was that?” Will groans in frustration. “I said, I haven’t—yet.” Mike purses his lips to stop himself from giggling aloud. Will’s face is practically burning red. “What? Seriously? No one? Even in Lenora?” Mike’s just straight up teasing now.
“No Mike, okay. My turn now. Why didn’t you write to me…” Now it was Mike’s turn to turn pink. “I…did. I just—couldn’t send it.” Will faces Mike who’s already looking at him. Has been since the start of whatever game this is they’re playing. “What? But why?”
“That’s another question. My turn. Why didn’t you kiss anyone?”
“What kind of question even is that?”
“My question. Now, answer.” Will huffs in annoyance and even this irritated face of his just looks cute to Mike. Oh Mike is a goner.
“It just—didn’t happen, okay.”
“You’re telling me no girl was ever interested in you?”
“No—well yes but I—wait that’s another question. It’s my turn now.” Mike actually laughs this time, “Okay, shoot.”
“Why couldn’t you send the letters to me.” Oh shit. Mike forgot about that. Of course Will still slung onto it. “It was—too uh—too honest.” Mike. Seriously what the hell was that? Honest? Oh my—
“Mike. The hell does that mean?”
“Whatever. My turn.”
“Mike!” Will’s grip of Mike’s hand tightens. And just then it occurs to them both they’re still holding onto each other. The room goes quiet with the realisation. Though none of them let go. Mike attempts to dissipate some of the tension. “So…” Will’s eyebrows rise. Mike then asks.
“Do you wonder what it’s like?” It’s also at this point where Mike notices both of them have completely disregarded the concept of the game itself. Asking each other questions without boundaries. Giving them the much needed confidence to keep this little act up. An act both of them are hiding under.
“What what’s like?”
“Kissing.” Will’s jaw falls slack. He definitely forgot Mike’s earlier question.
“Do you not have any other questions?” Will’s voice wavers, laced with annoyance.
“Is that your question for the next round?”
“What?! No!”
“Then answer.”
Will groans in frustration. “Fine. Yes okay. But like who doesn’t.”
“I—“ “My turn!” Will interrupts. Mike stifles another belt of laughter.
“What did you mean by ‘honest’ just now?” Mike just sighs, looking down. An earnest expression on his face. “The letters I wrote to El. They weren’t—they weren’t sincere. I just—felt like I had to write them, you know? It didn’t come from here.” Mike taps his chest where his heart is beating—relatively fast now. “Partly the reason why we broke up.” Mike looks back at Will.
“But with you, your letters the words just—kept flowing and flowing and it felt so real. Too real that I couldn’t—I couldn’t have sent them to you.” Will swallows nervously. Mike’s breathing unevenly. Mike can feel their hands turning clammy with cold sweat.
“Do you still have them?” Will’s voice is soft.
“It’s my turn now.”
“Oh come on.” Will groans, dragging out the last syllabus. Mike smiles. He musters up all the bravery he has, praying to every God this grand schemed plan of his somehow works. Trying his best to keep his voice steady, he asks.
“Do you wanna try?” Will’s eyes snap up.
“What?” His voice comes out high-pitched.
“Kissing.”
“I mean. Obviously but like…“ Not unless it’s with you.
“But like?”
“Who even Mike?” Will’s voice is irritated. Like Mike just doesn’t get it.
Oh but he’s wrong. Mike definitely gets it.
“I mean.” Mike clears his throat. “I’m right here.”
“…”
“…”
“What?”
“What?”
“Mike—“
“You don’t have to! If you don’t want to, obviously, I—“
“No Mike I—don’t think you’d want that.”
“I quite literally asked you, Will.”
“I mean I know but—“
“Plus it could be like—practice you know?”
Silence.
“Practice…”
“Yeah so when you do it in the future, you’d know what to do, right? I mean—I remember my first kiss and wish I had practice too. It was like really awkward. But now it’s just us! So no pressure!”
“…”
“…”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Surprise clearly palpable in Mike’s voice.
“Okay. But only if you’re sure.”
“Very.”
Wow. Phase 2, a sweep clean. He’s quite literally a genius.
“Uh.”
“Right uh, you should—should sit closer probably.” Will scoots nearer, their knees brushing lightly. Mike stares at him. “Will, closer.” Will drags himself closer, a few centimetres at most. Mike huffs out. With Will’s hand still in his grip, he jerks Will towards him as he yelps.
Will stumbles over Mike, his thighs now overlapping Mike’s. Mike holds onto Will’s bent elbows, keeping him close. Will’s breath stutters. His eyes darting over every feature of Mike’s face restlessly. They’re so much closer now.
“Will, you don’t have to be nervous. It’s just me.” Just you. Just Mike. It’s never just Mike. It’s Mike. Will tries to relax his shoulders as much as he can, his arms resting on both their legs, palms facing up.
Mike scoots even closer, their thighs brushing with the movement. He can see how long Will’s eyelashes are from the proximity, wonders if it would tickle when they flutter shut against his cheek. Will’s lips quiver and Mike’s eyes track the movement as Will swallows. He can clearly see all the moles marking Will’s face and neck, thinks he would count them if Will would let him. He definitely doesn’t wonder how many more Will has under all those layers. Totally. Anyways—
Mike draws soothing patterns against Will’s elbows, trying to relieve some of the tension from Will’s muscles. It seems to work to some degree as Will lets out a shaky exhale. Mike’s voice is gentle when he says, “We stop anytime you want to, okay?” Will breathes in deep and nods.
Mike smiles softly, “Okay, Will?” expecting a verbal confirmation. Will’s voice is just as quiet, “Okay, Mike.”
Mike leans in until their breaths are warm against each other’s face. Will wonders if his heartbeat is loud enough for Mike to hear from how close they are. Mike wonders if Will can feel the warmth of the heat on his face. Will licks his lips and Mike follows suit, both their gazes fixed on the other’s lips.
He hovers even closer. Their noses brush and Will’s breath hitches. Mike whispers, “Close your eyes.” Will does as told, inhaling air into his lungs. Finally, Mike closes in and cuts their distance short. Their lips touch tentatively and Mike’s heart stops beating once and for all. His hands halt their ministrations on Will’s elbows.
Mike pulls away just barely, their lips still close enough to brush, he mutters lowly, “Part your lips.” Again Will does as he’s told and the fact of it sits so right somewhere deep in Mike. He presses their lips together again, this time slotting between each other and oh god. If his heart died before, it just ascended to heaven now. Will’s hands hold onto Mike’s shirt on his sides.
Will’s lips are slightly damp and they sit so comfortably, so right against Mike’s own. Mike moves his lips gently and Will’s fingers grip Mike’s shirt at his side. The kiss is so soft and it sends Mike’s mind reeling. Mike deepens it, their lips much more in each other’s mouth.
Will pulls away, chest heaving quietly. They lock eyes and Will bites his bottom lip, chasing the sensation again. Mike asks, voice ever so breathy, “Was that… okay?”
“Yeah uh—yeah, okay.” Mike smiles.
“Just okay?”
Will’s eyes grow wide, “No! no it was—good. Really good.” He immediately darts his eyes down, anywhere but Mike’s face.
Mike already misses it, the solid weight of Will’s mouth, the tight of grip of his hand on his shirt—now much looser. Damn he wants to do it again. And again. And again and forever. God he’s pathetic. But still, maybe Will wants it too? It’s kind of hard to tell when Will isn’t even facing him.
Well Phase 2 is another win.
Now what?
For a genius, Mike really didn’t think this all the way through. Should he just pretend nothing happened, still under the disguise of ‘practice’? Jesus, he’s a loser. Or should he just seize at the opportunity and take whatever he can get? Whatever he’s allowed to have. He’s about to ask when,
“Is—“ Will clears his throat when his voice cracks a little. “Is that it?” He asks, looking up at Mike after what seems like forever.
Mike brows shoot up. He can definitely work with this. Will’s clearly down for more and oh is Mike greedy. He rakes his brain to find the right words, afraid of letting this moment pass too quick by saying the wrong thing. “Yeah, basically. But there’s other types too. Kissing, I mean.”
Will’s breath hitches. His eyes dart between Mike’s own. And Mike can see the question on his face, what Will’s too afraid to ask aloud. Well, what else is Mike here for, right?
“Do you… want to practice those too?” Will gulps, his adam’s apple bops with the movement. His voice is so quiet Mike’s sure he would’ve missed it if not for their proximity. “Only if you want to.”
Oh Mike definitely wants to.
“I do.” Mike says immediately without missing a beat. The corners of Will’s lips lift in a small smile. They both lean in and connect their lips once more. But this time, Mike drags his tongue lightly across Will’s bottom lip. His breath catches in his throat and he parts his lips wider. Mike slots his tongue just barely against Will’s own and Will gasps, the sound shoots straight up Mike’s spine.
Mike’s thumbs draws patterns on the crook of Will’s elbows. Will’s own hands pull against Mike’s shirt, bunching the fabric in his palms. Their tongues move in tandem now, Will mimicking Mike’s movements slowly. The kiss deepens instinctually and Will’s fingers twitch at Mike’s sides.
Mike senses the distress. He brings Will’s arms up from where he’s gripping his elbows, guiding Will’s hands to wrap around his neck. Settling his own comfortably on Will’s waist, pulling him closer in the process.
Will’s arm wrap around Mike’s shoulder, the other finding home in Mike’s hair, gently undoing the knots in his curls. Mike hums contentedly into the kiss.
They pull apart and press their mouths together again, alternating sides. Their bodies press closer, arms holding tighter. Will’s arm stretch around to Mike’s other shoulder, Mike’s own hands reaching around to opposite sides of Will’s waist. The kiss slowly evolving into a much closer embrace.
At a rather harder swipe of Mike’s tongue against Will’s, a sound from the back of Will’s throat surfaces right into Mike’s mouth. Mike can feel himself losing composure, the restraint slipping between his fingers with each passing moment. Each sound Will makes.
Mike breaks the kiss, both of them staring at each other through half lidded gazes. Chests heaving from the lack of air. 1, 2, 3, 4 seconds pass in heavy silence before they leap onto each other. Shoulders and waists pulled roughly together.
A particular hard tug of Mike’s neck and his hands land next Will’s waist on the bed, holding him up. He gently places his palm against Will’s chest, guiding him down onto the sheets. Will’s back hits it with a quiet thud and Mike braces himself up on his elbows. Their legs slot together, Mike’s knee between Will’s legs.
Will tries breaking the kiss, realises he can’t pinned down under the weight of Mike’s body. Mike presses harder into the kiss, all chivalry in him fading with every other brush of their lips and tongues. Pent up desire in him grazing the surface, his fingers gripping the sheets bunched up in his hands. Will tugs roughly at Mike’s hair and swerves his head to the side, panting hard. He can feel Mike’s warm, rapid breaths of air against his cheek. Mike trails his lips over Will’s jaw, a hand sliding down Will’s side to rest against his ribs.
He kisses each mole on his neck and moves lower, his fingers absentmindedly caressing the dips of Will’s ribcage. At a rather low point of Will’s neck, right above his collarbone, Mike licks a stripe across it. Will inhales sharply. Mike sucks at the spot and Will gasps loudly, his fingers digging into Mike’s shoulder and pulling at his hair.
“Mike.” Will calls out, voice breathy. Mike immediately shoots up, as if his brain subconsciously just draws him to Will’s voice. They’re facing each other again and Mike’s eyes widen, his hands stop their movement. Fuck. Fffffffuck.
Will’s crying.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
There’s a fresh track of tears running down Will’s cheeks and his lips—still red and plush—quiver. More tears fall as his eyelashes flutter and he buries his face into the sheets next to him.
God Mike wants to die.
“Will? Will, what’s wrong?” Will just shakes his head, pushing his face deeper. A soft wretched sob makes it way out of Will’s throat and Mike’s jaw clenches. “Did I do something wrong?” His voice still so gentle, not wanting to scare him further. Will just shakes his head again.
Mike places a warm hand on Will’s colder face, guiding him to face Mike. “Please talk to me. Did I go too far?” Will finally looks at him, shaking his head frantically harder now. “No Mike, it’s—it’s nothing.”
“Will… it’s not nothing if you’re crying...” Will just sobs harder at this. “I’m right here for you, Will.” Will smiles a sad one, his face still wet with tears. He pulls Mike down by his shoulders, burying his face in the crook of Mike’s neck. Mike instinctively wraps his arms around Will.
“I just—Mike I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep pretending like this. I don’t have it in me…” Mike’s face scrunches up in worry. “What’re you talking about, Will?”
“Mike I—“ He breathes in deeply. “I don’t want you to hate me, Mike I—“ Mike places a gentle finger against Will’s lips. He pushes himself up a little to lock eyes again.
“Will, I could never, never hate you. Whatever it is you’re about to say, I could never hate you, Will.” Mike swallows “I love you, Will.” Will gasps loudly as he frantically searches Mike’s face. “I’m sorry it took me so long but I’ve always—always loved you, Will. It’s always been you. I’m—so sorry, Will.”
A teardrop lands on Will’s cheek and Mike realises it’s his own tears. This realisation causes him to just cry harder. Will’s mouth goes agape, eyes wide. “Mike you—“ He brings a shaky hand to wipe at the tears on Mike’s face. Will smiles, so genuine and earnest, he leans up and plants a soft kiss on Mike’s cheek.
Mike’s heartbeat fucking misses a beat at the action. His jaw hangs open, heat creeping up his face in full force again. “I love you too, Mike.” Mike swivels his head to face Will. Will’s face just as red, his eyes looking over at anything but Mike. He’s so flustered. Will still giggles, “You beat me to it.” He says and it occurs to Mike then that he’d interrupted Will—just to say the same thing. He joins in the giggles too.
He’s sure they look like giggling idiots wrapped in each other’s arms. The laughter dies down and Mike has a million questions, he’s sure Will does too but for now, in this moment, there’s just one that weighs heavy on his tongue.
“Does that mean I can kiss you again?” Will laughs again, harder this time. “Yes, Mike. We can kiss anytime you want.” Mike grins. “Great cuz I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.”
Will shakes his head, “Dork.” He mutters and connects their lips again, a chaste short kiss. “A dork you love though?” Will snorts. “Very much so, you idiot.” Mike goes in for another kiss before, “Kids! Dinner’s ready!” Mike groans, stuffing his face into the sheets. Will chuckles and shakes him off, “Come on, Mike.” He says, sitting at the edge of the bed.
Mike is still facing down on the bed. He blindly grabs for Will’s wrist, turning his head to face Will now. Sporting a smug grin on his face. “What?” Will asks suspicious.
“You might wanna button up that collar.” Will’s brows furrow and he looks down. His mouth falls open in surprise, “Mike! You gave me a hickey?!” Mike’s smiling cheekily as he mutters, “Sorry.” Will cocks an eyebrow, “You don’t sound very sorry.”
“Cuz I’m not.” Will rips his wrist away and pinches Mike’s side as he yelps. “Idiot.” Will says and buttons up his shirt. He drags Mike off the bed and they head downstairs for dinner.
If anyone notices the unusual use of the upper button on Will’s shirt, no one mentions it. If anyone sees Mike’s grin that’s just a tad too big, no one says anything either.
In conclusion, Mike Wheeler’s elaborate scheme is a raging victory!
What can he say, he is a genius after all.