Work Text:
Määnin woke up early in the morning in Tommy's bed. But as he tried to search for the other man, the familiar presence of his favorite person by his side was missing. Tommy had still been there, drooling on Määnin's shoulder by the time he'd fallen asleep.
"Tommy..? Where'd you go..?"
Määnin asked in a low tone, voice still scratchy. Confused, he got out of bed, his legs supporting him just fine now that he was sober. He shuffled towards the kitchen. That's where he was reunited with Tommy who was wearing nothing but his underwear and one of Määnin's T-shirts, pouring beer in the sink, one can after another. He was caught in the pale early morning light spilling in from the window. The persistent cowlick on the back of his head was sticking out. It was a familiar sight on the rare occasions Tommy let himself be seen without his cap. Määnin really was the only one who had that privilege, and also the only one who had Tommy's permission to take the cap off without getting lashed out on.
"Toms.. What are you doing?"
Määnin asked as he stopped in the doorway for a moment.
"I couldn't sleep, so.. I'm getting rid of all of this,"
Tommy responded almost casually, without even turning to look. But there was a very subtle, tense undertone in his voice, one that Määnin picked up on.
"Why? Tommy, you don't have to.."
Määnin sounded confused as they hadn't talked anything about this.
"No, I do.. I was reading about it on my phone before I got up. You're not going to drink these anymore, so I don't want to, either. It was only ever fun with you, anyway. And I.. I need to be better. You shouldn't have to watch me drink. It's over, man.. I'm done."
Tommy sounded really sure, like he'd put a lot of thought into it. He then cracked open yet another can and poured its contents in the sink to put even more weight on his words.
"What do they call this shit? Cold turkey or something? When you just quit doing something abruptly?"
he then wondered. Määnin simply shrugged.
"I've never even heard of it."
"Well, fyrbanna, whatever it is called, I'm doing it,"
Tommy announced and slammed the empty can on the counter, next to all the others.
Määnin stood there and watched.
"Maybe we could just give the beer to someone,"
he suggested despite having a good enough guess about what Tommy was going to say. And sure enough..
"Who? Freppa doesn't drink. Gambämäänin or Thåossin? No, I.. I want all of this gone."
Trying to make Tommy change his mind would have been pointless, a complete waste of time. Instead, he'd offered to help but Tommy had turned it down, saying that he only had a few more cans to go through and empty.
Once the very last one of them had been placed down next to all the others on the kitchen counter by the sink, Määnin finally spoke again.
"It's still really early, you're never up at this hour.. Why don't you come back to bed?"
That was the first time during the entire conversation when Tommy did actually turn away from the sink and look at Määnin. Their eyes met, and Tommy nodded with very little to no hesitation. He joined Määnin, and together they made their way back towards the bedroom. Määnin was the first one to take his place, and Tommy followed right afterwards, getting on the bed and starting to settle down, getting comfortable in a matter of seconds. Almost like he'd never even left the bed to do anything.
"You didn't have to do all of that for me, Toms.."
Määnin murmured once the both of them had gotten comfortable and snuggly next to each other. He was calmly playing with Tommy's hair which was something the other greatly enjoyed, even if that truth would never be said outside the privacy of their shared apartment.
"I did.. I wanted to make things easier for you, going forward. Because I lo.. I love you, Mään.."
Tommy mumbled against Määnin's shoulder. Those words were, little by little, getting easier and much more natural to say.
"I'll buy us Trip or soda, instead. And we'll find something else to do to fill the time we used to spend drinking. I don't know what, just yet, but.. something. Focus even more on the band, maybe. Spend time out of the house because we always used to drink here, too, and.."
After saying all of that Tommy went silent, biting his lip. He'd even thought about them possibly trying to find a place of their own, a new place to live, one with no record of the lives they'd lived before. No memory of broken windows, of beer cans strewn about everywhere and on some occasions something stronger, too.. No mental image of Tommy yelling at Määnin on the last morning before the latter had finally been made to go to rehab. No lingering memories of Tommy later on that same day crying at the dinner table while being comforted by Freppa. A fresh start for them both. Should Tommy say something about it, or would that be stupid?
"Hey, Toms, stop before you draw blood.."
Määnin spoke up gently and placed a hand on Tommy's arm, successfully getting his attention. And once Tommy's teeth no longer were digging into his lip, Määnin touched it with his fingertips, sending an electric shock through Tommy's body.
"We used to drink just about everywhere we went, not just here. And fixing this isn't all on you,"
Määnin reminded him.
He was right, Tommy knew that.
"No, but.. I still can do something so this won't be even harder for you."
"Tommy, hey. I didn't make it easy for you, either. Especially right near the end. I didn't want to hurt you. You know that, right?"
Tommy nodded as a response.
"I do. But it doesn't matter anymore.."
he then mumbled and went on to rest his head on Määnin's chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"I was so scared you wouldn't wake up one day if we kept going like we did.."
Roughly only 15 minutes later Tommy had come really close to falling asleep, his eyes were already closed, all because Määnin kept stroking his hair.
"I would get the moon and stars from the sky if you'd ask me to.."
he said quietly. Määnin couldn't help but smile at the sudden, sleepy honesty.
"I know you would, Toms.. I know."