Chapter Text
People who die aren’t really dead.
Just buried. 9/15/2024
“BEFORE THE FIRST TIME WE WERE ALLOWED TO GO UP TO THE SURFACE AND BE SEEN AS PEOPLE, OUR HOME SEEMED TO BE MORE LIVELY. SAFE, COMFORTABLE. ESPECIALLY SHOWING THE LIFE WE LIVED UNDERGROUND TO BE—NURTURING. NOW IT HAS BECOME LESS FAMILIAR IN THE TERMS LISTED.” — ???
It’s empty, the lights are off, and there is nobody home. It’s cold, it’s always cold in the sewers, but this is different. He is alone, again. Just like the full hallways, and the crowded lunchrooms. He has friends, of course, they all do. It’s just that, they don’t really talk to him. He just listens, and listens, and listens. And that’s just about all he does. Usually he talks to April, it’s sustainable for a while (probably because he likes her.) Yet even then, there’s still a loneliness, like he’s truly not there present in the moment.
Like a ghost. And sometimes he haunts his home like one. The dead. Perhaps he was one of them. Or on his road to become the phantoms he sympathizes with.
And then there was a loud hush, echoing from the far side of the living room. Leonardo knew his anxiety would mess with his idea of what that could’ve been, always seeing the worst. So he turned around, and walked away. But then he started to jog, and then it turned into running, and finally he began to sprint, faster than he’d ever remember running in his life. A familiar blur of color he passed, orange and green, yet he stopped at the ever-so intimate ladder. To leave. So he must, before his breaths run out.
It was dark out. Had he even checked the time before he decided on leaving? Splinter would be so worried if he didn't come back at curfew.. but then again, the rat wasn’t even home himself. Maybe he would just make up an excuse. He’s totally great at making excuses…
totally.
During his stroll, he had heard some unnerving noises, but quickly walked ahead to “avoid” whatever it was. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him.. Then he heard more noises, more loud, audible, and really real noises coming from the next alley over. And then there was screaming. Someone was screaming bloody murder. They need help—he needs to help them. He can’t help them.
His swords. His swords! he left his swords at home! Leo’s eyes widened as he pinned himself to the wall, his sole hitting the edge of a hard item which made a clicky sound.
The screaming stopped suddenly. Was that good? His breathing became rushed. That couldn’t be good. He looks down at the object he nearly stepped on. A gun. There were footsteps, and they were getting louder. Why did he even go out? Leo quickly picked up the weapon, backing up towards the corner of the alley. His hands felt sticky, sweaty? “Please don’t be what I think that is.. please don’t be what I think that is,” the teen quietly begs as he opens an eye to look down at his hands. Blood. Definitely not his, but still blood. He shouldn’t be holding it, a weapon to kill. He would never–
“Found you.”
It went all too fast. Leo’s ears were ringing from the loud noise, which made his breathing seem louder than it actually was. At least it helped drown the static out.
He would never kill anyone.
Never.
"Christ, Leo! I swear you turned into a statue there for a moment." Raph stared intently at him. There was the tiniest bit of concern in his eyes, but was seemingly blinked away. "Yknow, if you want to like– daydream, that's cool, but you're literally taking up like half the hallway here and my muscles are insanely tired right now."
Leo blinks a couple times. "Yeah. Yeah," he slides himself to the side, "Sure, Cool." The teen could feel his hands shaking, hiding it by fidgeting his fingers around. "Yeah." He turned as he watches his brother pass by, also noticing the shrug he gave as he walked into their room.
God he was greatful Raph didn't question his behavior. Leo probably would've cut off his own tongue before telling him the truth. That was probably the only way to get him away from babbling his disgusting reality. What would dad think of him?
Wait. What would dad think? He killed someone. A person, a real person, with a life. This wasn't like his occasional flunks on his tests where he could just re-take one of them, or get extra credit to hide the fact his grade went down. He took a life, and it'll never come back. And he just left the body, rotting in that alleyway. Leo really couldn't go back to that alley, he didn't know what would happen to him if he did.
Oh jeez, he was really screwed. What if the police found out? Leo walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. His body shook as he looked up at the mirror. A ghastly kind of grey colored his scales. Only his reflection looked that way, his hands still looked normal. That's good right? Nothing too concerning. Batman would definitely be disappointed in him. He sighed as he opened the medicine cabinet.
Ever since they've been enrolled in high school Leo has had to take weird medication. The doctor said it helps calm him down, but all it basically does is make him tired. Which one, isn't too great when him and his brothers go out, and two, he has to study for something. Practically useless, but he guesses it helps. Sometimes. And he struggles opening the cap, like always. "This is so pointless," he mumbles, looking inside the bottle. "Great, I literally only have one left." Leo really didn't feel like picking up another prescription.
Hold on, Donnie was still out. Maybe he'd just call Dee to pick his meds up. But what if he's excruciatingly busy. He'd just wait for tomorrow then.
He ended up discarding the bottle in the trash and walking out of the bathroom right after. The price he has to pay for not lying on his physical exam papers. And there it was again, the now familiar smell of iron floating in the air. The reminder that his actions would eventually have consequences.
"—Leo. You good bro? This is the second time I've seen you out of it today," Leo heard Raph say from his bunk, one eye open.
Leo unnoticeably sniffs the air again, getting another whiff of iron, "do you smell that too?" His snout wrinkles as he tries to block out the scent.
His brother raises his arms to put them behind his head, "not unless you're talking about my victory scent, righteous right?" Was he talking about his sweat???
"Okay, ew." Leo's face turns into a grimace. Guess that meant he was going crazy. "That's gross dude. Have you ever heard of showers?" At the moment it was better to pretend everything was normal. In order to avoid questioning, act like everything is fine. Yeah, sounds like the perfect plan.
And he was genuinely tired, so tired he almost passed out right after jumping onto his mattress. This was definitely one of the times he was glad his 'bed' was nearly floor-level. Not sure how Mikey climbs to the top bunk when he's this tired. Maybe he sleeps with Raph sometimes. Maybe Raph also throws him off his bunk sometimes. Probably why Mikey sometimes wakes up on the ground face-forward. And tonight he's wondering if it's the medicine or his newly made secret that's making him feel exhausted.
"You going to sleep bro? Ain't it a bit early for you?" Raph had the audacity to ask at the exact moment he started to fall asleep. "I mean like—you usually train in like an hour. You want me to wake.."
Quiet was sweet.
Jeez. Leo wasn't sure how long it's been since he's had a dream.
It was a bit dark, but he could see his own face right in-front of him. It stared right through him, and he could feel holes, burning into his body. His mouth moved, yet no sound came out. Frantically Leo looked around with his eyes, nothing surely visible in the distance. The moment he looked back at his "dream clone,"it was staring directly at him. Alarms blared in his mind.
Before he fell asleep, he was thinking. Thinking about more than just Mikey's sleep habits. (Because Mikey was someone you couldn't really question.) He would try to remember the night in the alleyway, even regretfully. The thing was, Leo wanted to avoid the idea. But now that he's avoiding, he's also forgetting. Which is crazy right!? And now when he even tried to grasp the event, it felt wrong.
In his mind he couldn't shape the scene. The walls were always distorted. The ground was never flat in the way concrete should be. He didn't even remember the body, collapsing to the ground after he shot. A scream never even came from the figure he murdered that night. And Leonardo couldn't even remember dropping the gun which he shot the being with.
All he could remember was his brother's faces when he came back home. They had been worried, but then they started to joke around like usual. And it helped block out the guilt.
But now he wondered if any of that was real.
If anything was real.
This was a dream right?
Why could he feel hands tightening around his arms?
And why was his dream counterpart screaming at him?
It screamed at him, and he couldn't hear a single word.
Then everything distorted into color. Bright and luminous. Leo was sure if he wasn't extremely confused he would've found it at least a little bit pretty.
"Do you even know?"
What?
There it was again. It was him, sitting near a pond with water glistening in a hypnotizing amalgamation of color. This time, he held something in his hands. An animal, a small animal.
Leo himself couldn't help but step a bit closer in curiosity.
"Do you even know?"
Know what?
The darkness engulfed his dream with a drop. The sound of water rushed through his mind as maybe it was over. Then he would fall back into the empty slumber which he was familiar with. But first, Leonardo couldn't help but question his dream counterpart's words. Was he supposed to know something? His mind went empty as the pitch black turned into nothingness. More peaceful than questionable.
His breaths allowed his peace to rise and fall quietly. The proof he was alive. Yet in the midst of all the hope he carried to keep him sane, there would always be something there to remind him of his mistake. And maybe if anyone were to care enough to look closer then they would figure it out. This is because Leonardo would always give in at some point. To the truth. Though a chance that something important was left in that alley would never be zero.
In the meanwhile, Raph was laying on his bed scrolling through TikTok. This is when Mikey just had to ruin his peaceful, quiet, run through fifty of your apps so that you're not bored time.
"Dude, you're never gonna believe what Doc Hansel made us do during theater!" The youngest turtle throws his bag towards the wall.
"Mikey—kinda busy here. With stuff."
That was a lie. A hundred percent a lie. Raphael was NOT busy at all. Also, Mikey wasn't stupid. Raph just sighed and turned off his phone, turning to look at his brother. "Also Leo's asleep so might wanna quiet down."
Mikey takes note of the passed out turtle, who surprisingly, seemed to be sleeping very comfortably on his shell. "Woah. I have never seen him out this early," he commented.
"I mean I'm sure we've all had a pretty eventful week, yknow?"
Eventful was definitely an understatement.
"Dude—do you remember that one time... We accidentally woke Leo up from his quote-on-quote,'very very very awesome dream'," Mikey asks, climbing to the top bunk.
Raph groans at the memory. Of course he remembered that. It was the beginning of only the worst week of his entire ninja career. "Of course I remember that! He was so mad. Took him a whole 6 days to get over it," his annoyance relayed in his voice. "I just can't believe he didn't tell us what the dream even was after torturing us for an entire week."
He could hear Mikey snicker from above him. "You do not want to know."
"He told you?!" Raph says in disbelief.
"Wow Raph. I find that truly offensive. I am actually great at keeping secrets—believe it or not."
Raphael rolls his eyes, "that's a load of shit."
"Raphael!" their father's voice called from the hallway, "what have I told you about using that..vulgar language in this house..?"
A quiet "oooo" could be heard from the top bunk.
"Shut up Mikey!"
Michelangelo snickered as he watched Raph get up off of his bed. "If you make it into the kitchen, could you grab some chips. Doritos, not Cool Ranch. The regular ones."
Raph was already almost out the door when he muttered, "yeah, yeah, I'll grab your stinkin' chips." He waved Mikey off without turning around.
A thank you came from the top bunk a bit loudly. He shook his head as a tiny grin began to coat his expression. He'd just grab a couple energy drinks and the chips. Sounds good.
Raph shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing at one eye as he went. The lights flicked on with a soft buzzing noise, revealing the full counters and the table, which was now taken control of by a robot army. Donnie was sitting at the table scrolling on what was probably YouTube shorts.
“Dude,” Raph said, squinting at him. “When’d you get home? I swear you texted the groupchat that you were running late like two hours ago! ”
Donnie glanced up, blinking. “A couple moments ago.” He checked the time on his phone.
Raph groaned, opening the cabinet and grabbing the bag of Doritos. "I know that dimwit, I meant what time."
Donnie shook his head, placing his phone face down on the table. “I got back like a little after nine I think?” he said. He noticed the lack of light in their make-shift dojo, his eyes moved towards the door to their room. “Leo's done training? It's legit only 9:30.”
Raph shrugged, then jerked his chin toward the hallway. “Nah, he didn't train today. Leo’s been asleep since, like stupid early.”
Donnie looked a little bit confused, but he responded, "well at least one of us is actually getting sleep right now."
“Yep,” Raph said as he headed back toward the hallway, “Well whatever, Mikey’s gonna flip if I take too long.”
"Tell him to save some, I really don't feel like going to Walmart again for the 3rd time this week. It's literally only Monday." Dee began to pick up some of his project from the table.
"Nah. If Mikey doesn't finish these then I will."
"Oh my god, you're both big I swear to Pythagoras."