Work Text:
Everything hurt.
Ilya felt a hand holding his, and squeezed back.
Shane.
He smiled knowing his husband was here with him, wherever he was. It smelt like a hospital.
What the hell had happened?
Last he remembered he was playing hockey and then…right he collided headfirst into the boards. Well that couldn't be good for his brain.
Ilya shifted, Shane had noticed he was waking and began lightly combing his fingers through Ilyas hair.
"Hey, how you feeling hun?" a quiet voice said sounding weirdly unlike his husbands.
Ilya slowly blinked open his eyes, the rooms lights had been dimmed and he silently thanked whoever this fake Shane was for turning them down. His head was fucking killing him.
"That's it, take your time," fake Shane said soothingly.
Ilya finally got his eyes open and began to look around the room, he was right, he had been in the hospital. Fuck that was a nasty hit, he wondered how long he'd been out for. He turned his head to ask fake Shane, when he locked eyes with him.
Ilya snatched his hand away sitting up far too fast as the room began to spin.
Why the fuck was Hayden Pike holding his hand and and calling him hun? Had Ilya died and gone to hell?
"Woah hey, hey calm down its just me. Lay back down," Hayden said placing a hand on his chest to lightly push him back down. "I'm going to grab a nurse for you alright? I'll be right back," he said softly as he lightly pet Ilyas forearm.
Ilya was stunned, he just stared wide eyed with his jaw dropped as Hayden got up to leave the room.
Maybe he was dreaming he closed his eyes in hope that he would open them to Shane sitting by his bedside. He heard footsteps coming back into the room, wondering if it was Shane he reopened his eyes to see Hayden Pike followed by…was that Troy Barrett in scrubs?
"Hello Mr. Rozanov, my name is Troy I'm going to be your nurse for the next while. How are you feeling?" nurse Troy questioned.
"Um," Ilya stared at him stunned, had he been knocked out long enough for Troy to quit hockey and get a nursing degree?
"Since when are you a nurse?" Ilya elected to question instead of answering him.
"Uh sorry?"
"A nurse." Ilya insisted again.
"Well, uh, I went to nursing school right out of high school so… I've been a nurse since I was about 22 Mr. Rozanov," Troy said as he began to look at whatever monitors Ilya was connected to while writing on his chart.
Ok so nurse Troy didn't seem to know who Ilya was, cool this was super great and normal.
He allowed Troy to do whatever physical tests he needed before he began asking questions.
"Do you know the date today?"
"No idea," he answered honestly, not knowing how long he'd been out.
"Can you tell me where you are?"
"Uh, hospital?"
"Lets be a bit more specific, do you know what city you're in?"
"Ottawa?"
"Yep, how about what hockey team you and your husband play for?"
"Ottawa Centaurs."
Ok, so at least nurse Troy seemed to know Shane was his husband. He must just be out right now, Hayden must've texted him letting Shane know Ilya was awake at this point.
Ilya looked towards Hayden who seemed slightly concerned at Ilyas state right now, which he guessed he could appreciate how much his husbands best friend was worrying for him?
Hayden smiled at him and reached out to grab his hand, Ilya was so caught off guard that he actually let it happen.
"Ok can you—" nurse Troy started.
"Where is Shane?" Ilya asked cutting Troy off, needing his husband to explain why the fuck Hayden was being so weird around him right now. Was Hayden the one who hit him and felt bad? Ilya didn't even think they were playing Montreal but he couldn't exactly trust his own brain right now.
Hayden looked at him confused, "like my buddy? Shane Hollander?"
Ilya nodded.
"God you must've hit your head real hard babe," Hayden laughed.
Ilya threw up in his mouth a little at Hayden Pike calling him "babe."
"I don't understand why this is funny?" Ilya questioned. Hayden looked at him surprised and then to the nurse. He seemed…really concerned?
"Uh, I mean obviously you don't hate Shane but I mean…"Hayden said trailing off confused.
"Mr. Rozanov I really need to check—" nurse Troy started.
"Shut up Troy," Ilya cut him off holding a hand up as he turned back to Hayden, "where is Shane at?"
"Okay hey calm down, let the nurse finish up and then we can circle back to your questions ok?"
"Fine," Ilya snapped. Why the fuck was Hayden acting like this?
He answered the rest of Troys questions as quickly as he could. He really needed to know where Shane was.
"All right that's it from me, is there anything else you need before I leave?"
Ilya shook his head, trying to hurry nurse Troy out of here so he could interrogate Hayden.
"Ok your call button is up on the side of the bed there, you or your husband can click that if you need anything. Dr. Hunter will be up soon to come and speak with you when your scans come back," Troy said smiling as he left the room.
Wait.
Did he just….
Did Troy just say…husband?
Ilya looked to his side and saw that the only other person in the room who happened to be wearing a wedding ring was staring at him with concern. It was a misunderstanding right? Obviously Hayden had a wedding ring him and Jackie were married duh.
"Where is Shane?" Ilya prompted again.
"I think he's in Dallas right now, why?" Hayden answered with his brows furrowed. Why was it so hard to believe Ilya wanted to see his husband.
He figured it out, he must've been knocked out a while. Ottawa must be playing in Dallas right now so Hayden had volunteered like the good friend he was to come hang out with Ilya while he was away. He almost felt bad about snapping at Hayden. Key word being almost, because Hayden's behaviour was still really fucking weird.
"Honey I gotta be honest, I'm a bit confused why you keep asking about him," Hayden questioned.
"Why wouldn't I be asking where my husband is?" Ilya snapped.
Hayden laughed at this, "Ok, very funny."
Ilya stared at him, expression neutral.
"Ilya are you being serious right now?" Hayden said, his face dropping.
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Shane Hollander isn't your husband, I am," he said looking hurt.
Ilya almost caught himself feeling bad before remembering what the fuck was going on.
"You are my husband?"
"Yes."
"We are married?"
"Yes."
"Yikes."
"Hey!" Hayden shouted looking incredibly offended, Ilya really couldn't find it in himself to care about Hayden's feelings right now.
"Can I ask a bunch of questions and you answer them for me?" Ilya asked, he needed to know what was different in this sick and twisted world.
"Sure," Hayden sighed.
"What hockey team do you play for?"
"Ottawa with you."
"Did you know that nurse?"
"Like personally? No."
"Who is Shane to you?"
"My best friend, you guys get along now but you're not exactly the best of friends."
"What hockey team does he play for?"
"Montreal."
"Is he married?"
"Uh yeah, we were at his and Roses wedding."
"Rose Landry?"
"Yup." Hayden said happily, he must've thought Ilya was starting to remember things.
"Pull the plug."
"What?"
"I can't live in a world where I am married to you and Rose is married to Shane," Ilya said laying back with is arms crossed,"Be a good husband and un-plug my life support Hayden."
"You aren't connected to life support, you just hit your head," Hayden said annoyed.
Maybe he could call nurse Troy back to euthanize him.
Just as he was about to reach up to hit the call button he heard a knock on the door, and someone walked in.
"Hello I'm Dr. Hunter, how's your head feeling?"
Ilya looked up in fear, there was no fucking way.
"You have to be kidding me," Ilya said staring straight at Scott Hunter.
"Nope! I really do want to know how you're feeling Mr. Rozanov," Scott said laughing as he walked further into the room.
"Your scans luckily came back clean, we saw the hit and let me tell you, you are a very lucky man."
"I do not feel so lucky in this moment," Ilya said with furrowed brows as he looked back and forth between Scott and Hayden.
"We would like to keep you over night, but I'm confident you will be discharged tomorrow morning. Of course you're going to have to wait a bit before you can get back out on the ice." Scott said ignoring Ilyas cynical comment.
"Do either of you have any questions before I leave?"
"Um he's been having some issues with his memory, is that…normal?" Hayden questioned.
"That's to be expected, nurse Troy said he was able to remember quite a bit so his brain should gradually fill in any gaps his memory is missing," Scott said smiling at the two of them.
"What if he doesn't," Hayden said stealing a fearful glance towards Ilya.
He could sympathize with the guy of course. He couldn't imagine if Shane had woke up in a hospital and claimed to be married to Troy. At the same time this was Hayden Pike, so again Ilya didn't feel too bad about the situation.
"That would be incredibly unfortunate, but I'm sure you will be by his side to help him," Scott said to Hayden.
Ilya hoped he didn't regain any of his memories about a relationship with Hayden. God he would have to picture them having sex…ew no, nope he was getting a visual right now. Where was that call button? He needed Troy back.
"I'll be back tomorrow morning, if you need anything call your nurse," Scott smiled and left the room.
Ilya sat back on his bed, Hayden looked fucking defeated next to him.
Maybe if he made a scene they would sedate him, he was a pretty big dude and could act pretty scary if he wanted too.
That's it!
He would call Troy in here and pick a fight with him, they'd have to knock him out after that right?
"Babe—" Hayden started.
"Where is the call button," Ilya said cutting him off.
"um it's right there," he said pointing to the call button.
He spoke to the nurses station and waited in silence for Troy to walk in the room.
"Hello you called," Troy said finally walking into the room, Ilya got ready to jump up and attack him when he stopped himself.
Fuck, he couldn't do that to his sweet princess Troy.
Hayden on the other hand…
This was so mean.
But…he was over it.
Ilya turned to the side and lunged at Hayden.
"What the fuck are you doing!!!???" Hayden yelled catching him.
He didn't realize how weak he was, Ilya pretty much just turned and fell on top of Hayden like a dead weight.
Troy circled around the bed and came to help him back up, "your husband is welcome to sit in the bed with you, no need to fall out," he laughed.
Ilya was not being seen as threat, just a man who wanted to cuddle with his husband. Oh well time to switch tactics.
"Is there anyway I can be sedated? My head is not all right, and I can barely even remember my poor sweet husband," Ilya said batting his eyelashes while reaching out toward Hayden, "I think some forced shut eye could really help my brain sort some things out."
Hayden seemed content with that. Maybe he would back him up.
"I mean, could that help?" Hayden questioned Troy.
It worked!
"Sure why not!" Troy said enthusiastically, "I've never done this before!"
Ok maybe this was a bad idea.
Troy really should not have a nursing license. Ilya very well might be getting euthanized right now.
Oh well. Better than whatever the fuck was going on right now. A world where Shane Hollander was straight was not one he wanted to live in.
"Uh ok hmmmm, small prick…right here," Troy said before stabbing him with god knows what.
Ilyas vision started fading at the edges, he saw Troy look weirdly proud and felt Hayden squeeze his hand. It was weirdly comforting. He felt his head lull back and, he, he—
Everything hurt.
Ilya felt a hand holding his, and squeezed back.
This time he blinked his eyes open quicker, looking to see who was holding his hand.
Shane.
For real this time.
Ilya tried to sit up, connected to a lot more wires and tubes than before. What the fuck.
Shane shushed him, "stay still, wait for the nurses—"
Ilya drifted back off to sleep, when he woke he felt a lot less things connected to him and attempted to sit up.
"Hey, here let me just raise the bed up," Shane said softly.
He looked over to see his husband (his actual real husband!) who had tears in the corners of his eyes and pulled him in for a hug.
"Fuck you scared me, don't ever do that shit again," Shane mumbled wetly into his shoulder.
"I'm so glad you're not Hayden," Ilya laughed into his shoulder.
Shane pulled back wiping away tears, "what?"
"I am so glad you are not Hayden," Ilya said again.
"What are you talking about?" Shane said confused.
"Doesn't matter, bad dream. I am ok now," Ilya smiled.
"What the hell were you dreaming about?" Shane laughed leaning over to place a kiss on his husbands forehead.
Troy heard his phone buzz on the side table, he hadn't slept well waiting for updates from Shane about Ilyas condition, last he heard the guy had been knocked out cold with no sign of waking up.
He noticed a text from Ilya and shot up in bed:
Roz- You don't have nursing degree right?
T- Holy shit
T-What the fuck are you okay???
T- Did you just wake up?
T- wait should you even be on your phone?
Roz- yes I am fine physically, mentally no.
Roz- Do you have a nursing degree?
T- What do you mean mentally no? Is Shane with you? Do you need me to come over to the hospital??
T- Also no when the fuck would I have time to get a nursing degree??
Roz- Shane is here, I had weird dream.
T- …
T- Are you having sexy nursing fantasy's bout me Roz?
Roz- Nothing sexy about that dream.
Roz- I now have PTSD
T- God what did I do?
Roz- Not you, Hayden.
Roz- We were married.
T- LMAO DID YOU TELL HIM
Roz- Goodnight Troy.
T- You guys would be so cute together
Roz- Goodnight Troy.
T- Gotta love a good enemies to lovers <3
Roz- Goodnight Troy.
T- Goodnight Ilya, I'll drop by to see you tmr :)
Roz- Thank you
T- Gotta congratulate you on the wedding in person
Roz- Fuck you <3
T- Fuck you too <3
Hayden heard his phone ding, it was probably Shane. He had called Hayden earlier freaking out over Ilya. Hayden had watched the hit, it was fucking awful, he thought the poor guy broke his spine. Hayden grabbed his phone and looked, he had a text from Ilya and Troy Barrett?
Shanes Husband- Don't ever call me anything besides my name.
HP- What? Dude are you even alive rn?? You got fucking creamed into the boards
Shanes Husband- Did I? I didn't notice, thank you for letting me know.
HP- Ok whatever fuck you.
Shanes Husband- thank you <3
Shanes Husband- I really needed that
HP- What???
Ok weird, he went to check what Troy sent him. Being Ilyas bestie he had also began to enjoy terrorizing Hayden:
Troy Barrett- Congrats on the marriage, really happy for you guys <3
HP- Uh, I mean you're like really, really late but..thanks?
Troy Barrett- Of course ;)