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The rain was lashing against the restaurant windows with force, the wind making a sharp whistling sound as it tried to get inside Sia la Luce. Kojiro was cleaning up the restaurant in uncharacteristic silence, his thoughts far away. He was supposed to spend the evening with Kaoru; he had even closed up two hours earlier, but then a sudden, ferocious storm started.
Koji, don't go out in this weather, Kaoru had texted a few hours before. Carla says the storm will last all night.
With a heavy sigh, Kojiro leaned against the counter as he wiped his forehead.
Don't want to cancel movie night, Kojiro texted back. We haven't seen each other in a while.
Kaoru took a few minutes to reply. Don't be silly, we'll catch up tomorrow or another day.
Kojiro knew Kaoru was right, so he prepared himself for inventory – that would take him hours, and maybe the storm would calm down enough for him to go home on his motorcycle. He hoped the constant rhythm of the rain would quiet his thoughts about Kaoru.
Kaoru, Kaoru… it was impossible to stop thinking about him. Whatever happened to Kojiro, he’d want to share it instantly with his best friend. He was omnipresent in Kojiro’s life; even the menu at Sia la Luce was tailored based on Kaoru’s tastes. Kojiro knew he wasn’t hiding his feelings well – even the kids had teased him several times about them – though Kaoru seemed oblivious. Or maybe he pretended to be oblivious, his own feelings on the platonic side.
With those thoughts plaguing his mind, he was checking the remaining bottles of wine in the fridge under the counter when the bell above the door rang. The restaurant had closed hours ago, this must have been someone who didn’t see the sign.
“Sorry, we’re clos-”
Kojiro didn’t get to finish his sentence, for the person who walked in was Kaoru himself. The ends of his pink hair were drenched, and he was looking downwards, shaking water from his umbrella. “Sorry for barging in,” he said, voice muffled, “I just saw the lights on, and thought I could take refuge here from the rain for a bit? I hope I’m not bothering.”
“Never heard you so polite before, Pinky,” Kojiro said with a grin.
That was when Kaoru finally looked up. His scowl instantly disappeared, thin lips parted in surprise.
“Kojiro? Is that really you?”
“Yeah? Did you hit your head, four-eyes? Or drink too much wine?”
Uncharacteristically, Kaoru didn't rise to the bait. He was looking at Kojiro as if he were seeing a ghost, his golden eyes taking him in frantically. Something was not right, but Kojiro couldn't really put his finger on it.
“Why aren't you in Italy? Aren't you supposed to be there?”
“Italy? No, I haven't been there in three years,” Kojiro replied, and now he knew something was wrong.
He came out from behind the counter to have a better look at Kaoru. At first glance, everything looked normal: Kaoru was wearing one of his customary kimonos, a deep purple one with a pink obi. His hair was the same colour and his golden gaze bore deeply into Kojiro’s. His spectacle frames were a different colour and the furrow between his brows was a bit deeper, but that could be just because of the tension in the air. Kojiro’s instincts, however, told him that something was different.
“What the hell are you doing in Okinawa?!” Kaoru burst out, a veil of indignation coming over his face. “You couldn’t even tell me you’re back?”
Kojiro frowned. “What the hell are you talking about? I never left.”
“But you’re supposed to be in Rome… You have a restaurant there,” Kaoru said, voice getting ever weaker as he looked around and started to realise where he was.
“No, this is my restaurant. Opened it over two years ago, and you actually financed half of it,” Kojiro said slowly, and he took a step towards Kaoru.
The shock and confusion were genuine, as was the trembling of Kaoru’s fingers. Kojiro wanted to reach out, but something told him to hold back. That feeling that something wasn’t exactly right came over Kojiro again, and he had a strange idea. Before thinking better of it, he mumbled his extraordinary conclusion.
“You’re not my Kaoru, are you? I mean, not from this universe?”
It was a ridiculous thing to say, but the Kaoru in front of him didn’t laugh or make fun of him. Instead, his eyes widened and he shook his head uncertainly.
“I don’t think you’re my Kojiro either,” other-Kaoru said, shoulders sagging. “He didn’t come home from Italy. We… we seldom talk these days. I mean, rarely on the phone. Mostly via messages, but not very frequently.”
Although other-Kaoru tried to keep it hidden, Kojiro could see the pain in his eyes. If he were honest, he couldn't imagine not sending at least a couple of silly messages a day to Kaoru. How did things get so bad in the other universe? His counterpart probably needed to be taught a lesson.
“Come, sit down,” Kojiro said and gently guided Kaoru to the usual seat. “I assume you also like wine?”
“I do.”
Kojiro got one of the bottles under his counter and two glasses. He poured a generous helping into both and slid one of them to Kaoru.
“So, tell me, how did you end up in a different universe?”
Kaoru took a big sip of wine before answering. “I was walking home from a calligraphy event.”
“Walking? That's not really your style.”
This might have been a different Kaoru, but his temper was the same. “I needed to clear my head,” Kaoru snapped, then sighed. “Besides, Carla shut down.”
Kojiro hummed. “Strange timing.”
“You can say that again,” Kaoru agreed, swirling the red wine in his glass. “The storm came out of nowhere too, and the streets were deserted. I was trying to find a convenience store or coffee shop for shelter, but everything was closed. Then I saw the lights on in this place that has been empty for years.”
“You know, I was supposed to close the restaurant early today,” Kojiro told him, leaning heavily on the counter. “But the storm prevented me from leaving. I suppose fate wanted us to meet.”
Kaoru watched him, but his expression remained closed off. “Isn't there a saying about the cruelty of fate? Because honestly, at the moment it feels like that, seeing you back here.”
Caught off-guard, Kojiro didn't know what to say. It must have really been a great shock for this Kaoru to find him in Naha, not too far from where he lived. He took Kaoru’s hand as gently as he could, though even this light touch made Kaoru flinch. However, he didn't move his hand away.
“Wanna tell me what happened in your world? I bet it's that knucklehead’s fault.”
Kaoru smiled. “You mean the other Kojiro? Of course, I'm always right. But I wonder, should we tell each other these kinds of things, or are we going to mess up our timelines?”
“Fate already brought us together, so our timelines have already changed,” Kojiro said. “Come on, don't stall now, four-eyes.”
“Shut up, you giant gorilla.”
Kojiro squeezed his hand. “I see your ability to insult has stayed consistent. So, tell me.”
Taking a deep breath, Kaoru watched their hands. “There's not much to say, really. We just drifted apart. You… I mean the other Kojiro studied culinary arts in Florence, and then he got a job there. He now owns a restaurant in Rome, together with one of his former colleagues.”
Kojiro found it hard to believe that his other self would just distance himself from Kaoru. “Did other Kojiro never travel back to Okinawa?”
“He did, right after finishing his studies. At first, he didn’t even say he was going to travel back,” Kaoru recounted, his gaze reflecting deep hurt and betrayal. “Then he announced it out of the blue, and I got so upset I didn’t even go to the airport to say goodbye. I think that was what offended him.”
Although things could have been different in that universe, Kojiro tried to think back on his own life. Something must have happened that triggered the other Kojiro’s hasty retreat to Italy. He must have been running away from something.
Kojiro recalled the long flight back, his bags bursting with souvenirs. He was sad to leave Italy, but more than that, he was excited to be back in Okinawa. He missed his parents, his sisters, Kaoru and Japanese food. He also had a position waiting for him at one of the highest ranked restaurants in Naha. It was a French restaurant and he'd start from the lowest rung of the ladder, but he knew he’d learn a lot there.
It felt like a lifetime ago, but Kojiro did remember his first meeting with Kaoru after his return. The reason why he still remembered it was because Kaoru was not alone – his first boyfriend, Minato, was there too. Kojiro tried not to show it, but he was annoyed. He wanted to hang out with Kaoru alone, like in the old days. Minato was a year younger than them, and he worked for his family’s business. He had a nice smile and was slightly timid, but seemed nice overall. And yet Kojiro could never really befriend him, and was secretly happy when Kaoru broke up with him just a month later.
“Were you dating Minato at that time by any chance?”
Kaoru furrowed his brows, trying to remember. “I think I was. How did you know? Did this world’s Kaoru do too?”
“Yeah, and he didn’t tell me until we met for the first time after my return,” Kojiro said, throwing a meaningful look at Kaoru. “It was quite the shock.”
Kaoru stared at him. “You mean…? What, no, that could not have upset him. I’m pretty sure he was fine with Minato. Besides, we broke up not much later.”
“But you broke up after the other Kojiro left for Italy, didn’t you?”
“I think so, but seriously, I don’t think that was the issue. I don’t think Kojiro was jealous.”
Kojiro laughed awkwardly, then sipped his wine. “Believe me, I was plenty jealous. I didn’t want to lose you to a random guy.”
“What? But he never said,” Kaoru mumbled. “I didn't even really like Minato that much.”
He looked so dejected that Kojiro knew he needed to bring in some heavy artillery to cheer him up. And what was better than the dessert literally called ‘pick me up’? Kojiro went to the back and cut a generous tiramisu serving for both of them.
“Try this,” he said as he handed over a teaspoon to Kaoru.
A pleased hum left Kaoru's lips. “So good. I can't believe the Kaoru of this world gets to enjoy this anytime.”
“And he doesn't even pay for it,” Kojiro added, taking a spoonful of tiramisu.
“Well, he is an owner here.”
“Can't believe you use the same argument. Your brains work the same way.”
“I'm a genius in every world,” Kaoru said, though his smile turned to confusion. “But if you were jealous too, how come you stayed here? Why didn't you leave like the other Kojiro?”
“I got a job at one of the restaurants as a prep cook. It kept me busy while I hoped Kaoru would break up with Minato. I didn't have to wait for long.”
“Stupid gorilla,” Kaoru murmured. “Not you, the other Kojiro.”
“Told you it'd be his fault,” Kojiro replied with a self-deprecating smile.
“No, not just his. If I hadn't dated Minato, or if I told Kojiro how I felt… but I was afraid. I didn't want our friendship to suffer because of it.”
Kojiro rubbed his chest, a familiar pang expanding between his ribcage.
“I know what you mean.”
Those familiar golden eyes pinned Kojiro with a sharp look. “Wait, are you not together? Sorry, I thought since you said he owns half of the restaurant…”
Kojiro smiled wistfully. “No… I mean, I thought about confessing or asking him out on a date, but what if he doesn't want to? I don't even know if he wants to date anyone.”
“Believe me, he wants to date you more than anything,” Kaoru replied with a surreptitious smile.
“Is that so?” Kojiro asked, putting his forearms on the counter as he leaned forward.
“Well, I think the basic things are shared between our universes. So I'm pretty sure your Kaoru likes you a lot.”
Kaoru was looking straight into Kojiro's eyes – his feelings were so clear, they might as well have been written above his head on a neon sign. As Kojiro leaned forward to meet Kaoru in the middle, he realised that his Kaoru had looked like this at him before. He just pretended not to see it, afraid that the one kiss would change everything. That he would somehow undo two decades of friendship.
All of those doubts disappeared when his lips touched Kaoru's. They were warm and soft, and Kojiro couldn’t help sharing a few lingering kisses. He parted with a sense of regret, even though he knew this was not the right person. Kaoru’s lashes quivered, his expression a mixture of want and resignation.
“At least now I know how it would feel,” he said quietly.
Kojiro’s heart was breaking. He really wanted to beat up his counterpart. Sighing, he cupped Kaoru’s face gently. “Listen to me. Once you get back, give a call to your Kojiro. Promise me.”
Tears formed at the corners of Kaoru’s eyes. “What if he doesn’t want to hear from me? I’d rather die than have a superficial relationship where we just message each other twice a year on our birthdays.”
“That’s not possible. There’s always hope,” Kojiro said, self-assured. “You know why? Because there’s no universe out there where I’m not in love with you.”
They met in a searing kiss again, marked by Kaoru’s salty tears and Kojiro’s desperate grip on the back of Kaoru’s kimono. Fuck, he wanted to treasure and cherish this Kaoru who had been left behind with a broken heart, but he knew this was just a glitch in time and things had to go back to normal.
“I wish you could stay so I could show you how much you mean to me,” Kojiro mumbled into Kaoru’s shoulder, taking a breath and belatedly realising that this Kaoru used a different cologne. “I’m sorry.”
“Shush, you silly oaf,” Kaoru said, fingers slowly combing Kojiro’s curls at his nape. “This has been the best thing that has happened to me. We got an incredible chance from destiny.”
Kaoru gently extricated himself from Kojiro’s embrace, and got ready to leave. He picked up his umbrella, and looked outside at the rain that had slowed down in the meantime. “I have this feeling that as soon as I walk out of your restaurant, the whole world will change. By the time I turn around for a last look, it will be an empty building again.”
Kojiro swallowed as he took Kaoru’s hand. “Get home safe and take a warm bath. Then when you’re ready, give your Kojiro a call. Don’t let him off the hook easily.”
“Then you also have to promise me something,” Kaoru said in turn. “Tell your Kaoru how you feel. Don’t make him wait any longer, you hear?”
“Yes, Princess,” Kojiro said and smiled as he squeezed Kaoru’s hand.
He watched Kaoru walk out and disappear in the rain. Kojiro stood there for several minutes. If the plate with the tiramisu leftover and two spoons weren’t on the counter, he’d assume he had daydreamed the whole thing. Although he never liked to leave any dirty dishes, he couldn’t stay a moment longer. He got his motorcycle keys and locked up quickly.
It was past midnight, yet Kaoru Sakurayashiki was staring at a name on his phone. Closing his eyes to prepare himself, he finally asked Carla to make the call.
“Kaoru? Is everything okay?” a familiar voice asked after the first ring.
Oh.
“Kojiro. E-everything is fine,” Kaoru said, stumbling over his words. “I just thought we could catch up. If you have time, of course.”
“Yeah, it’s my day off. I was just going to do laundry,” Kojiro chuckled awkwardly. “But you sure you don’t want to rest? It’s late there.”
“I’m fine. You know I’m a night owl.”
Kojiro’s laugh was quiet, but genuine. “That you are. Were you working on anything specific?”
“I had a calligraphy event tonight, actually,” Kaoru said and laid down in his bed. “But tell me about you, how’s the restaurant doing?”
“Do you have time? Because I’m currently struggling with the autumn menu, and you won’t believe the crap I’ve been getting from local food vendors.”
“I’ve got all the time. But I bet you upset those people with your gorilla manners,” Kaoru said, hoping their usual teasing would completely break the ice.
“Very funny, Pinky. These old geezers are trying to swindle me, though. Listen, one of them said…”
Kaoru smiled as he listened to Kojiro getting more and more worked up over old Italian farmers trying to raise prices.
The other Kojiro was right, there was always hope.
The storm had calmed down, but by the time Kojiro made it to Kaoru’s house, he was soaking wet. Uncaring of anything, he hurried to Kaoru’s door. Carla scanned him, and informed Kaoru of his arrival. Unsurprisingly, Kaoru was still up, likely working on calligraphy if the ink stains on his fingers were anything to go by.
“Kojiro? You reckless ape, what are you doing here?” Kaoru asked, then touched Kojiro’s shoulder. “You’re all wet.”
“I wanted to tell you something, and it couldn’t wait any moment longer.”
Kaoru looked at him, surprised, then yanked him inside by his shirt. “Stupid gorilla. Come on, let’s get you changed while you tell me your big secret.”
Kojiro smiled at Kaoru’s tone, how underneath that prickly voice lay concern. He loved how soft Kaoru looked in the warm light, and the confident way in which he moved in his house. He even loved Carla telling them about the whereabouts of the clothes Kojiro kept here. He loved this house, filled with precious memories from the pictures on the wall to the familiar souvenirs they bought together on their trips. He hoped the other Kaoru and Kojiro would get to have this too one day.
“What’s with that dopey look on your face?” Kaoru asked.
Without warning, Kojiro hugged Kaoru, laughing at the way Kaoru sputtered from the wet clothes touching him. “I love you, Kaoru. I don’t want to spend another second away from you.”
Kaoru gaped at Kojiro for a few seconds of stunned silence.“You stupid gorilla. This is what couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
Kojiro looked into his eyes, and kissed Kaoru, slowly but ardently.
Kaoru hid in Kojiro’s chest. “I love you too, Koji. Now get changed, or I’ll kick you out.”