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The Real Wives of Ottawa
Caitie added Ilya to the group chat.
Caitie: Welcome Ilya!
Cassie: Congrats, you are officially part of this group.
Lisa: Hi Ilya!!!
Lisa: Finally a new member lol
Selena: Knew you’d make it.
Kiara: ngl, i think we will have so much more fun now ilya is here 🤣
Caitie: 🤣
Lisa: 🤣
Cassie: I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
Cassie: But I’m here for it.
Ilya:😘
Ilya: I’m so ready
Ilya: I was born ready 😈
Lisa: We mostly just drink wine and bitch about our husbands now that we are actually sort of stuck with them. The unmarried girlies still have an out
Lisa: So, not too different from the other group
Lisa: But more marital stuff and kids… Sorry Caitie, I’m really not selling it lol
Ilya: Ah, I have perfect husband. Nothing to complain.
Ilya: Yes boring, but gives best head, so I do not complain
Ilya: He also has powerful hockey thighs. Very helpful for many things
Ilya: 🥰
Kiara: GIRL!!!
Caitie: OMG
Caitie: 🤣
Selena: I gotta say, Nick’s pretty great but he is no Shane Hollander
Selena: 🔥🔥🔥🏒
Cassie: …
Cassie: We did not invite you to gloat, but I’m dying here.
Cassie: And no lusting after our husbands teammates. 🤣
Kiara: you are saying it like we weren’t doing this BEFORE ilya came to ottawa
Kiara: before we knew about shane
Ilya: It’s ok ladies
Ilya: I know Shane is the hottest
Ilya: And second best at hockey
Ilya: I am a generous man. You can all look but you can’t touch.
Lisa, Caitie, Selena, Cassie, and Kiara liked this message.
Ilya: Ah but I see one problem with group
Cassie: ?
Ilya: You did not invite Shane, no?
Ilya: Is that… I don’t know if this is the right word - discrimination?
Caitie: Ilya, I say this with all of my love to Shane
Caitie: And he is the BEST hockey player no note (sorry)
Caitie: He is NOT one of the girls and this is a girls only group
Lisa: Harris will be invited when he and Troy get married
Lisa: We love Shane, but he is Captain Serious so he doesn’t get to join the girls
Lisa: Because girls just wanna have fun, girls just wanna have fu-un
Caitie: 🤣 but also, true
Cassie: And we unanimously voted NO to inviting him.
Kiara: he doesn’t drink
Kiara: or eat his sorrows away
Kiara: or use shopping as a coping mechanism
Ilya: He build large cottage mansion
Ilya: But is for improving focus during off season, so I understand is not the same
Kiara liked this message.
Caitie: Same code as the other group applies here
Caitie: What happens in the real wives chat stays in the real wives chat
Kiara: he also has perfect skin
Kiara: and perfect hair
Kiara: what i’m saying is life isn’t fair
Ilya: It is all true
Ilya: Ok ok, I will not tell Shane about the sacred group.
Ilya: I respect the democratic process ✊
Ilya: Even if he asks with puppy eyes!
Selena, Cassie, Caitie, Selena, and Kiara laughed at this message.
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The Real Wives of Ottawa
Lisa: Hey, whoever is free right now, one of the girlfriends reached out to me to have a chat with a smaller group. I think the WAGs who have been with their guy for a long time may be most helpful in this situation
Lisa: I’ll pull a separate group together
Lisa: She’s new, and a bit (a lot) overwhelmed
Lisa: I know it’s late but I said we’d talk her through whatever she’s worried about
Kiara: i am here
Caitie: I’m available for the next hour or so
Ilya: I’m waiting for Shane to finish boring evening yoga routine
Ilya: I tell him to stop wearing so much clothes so I can at least enjoy the view, but no, he tells me I interfere with his meditation and cannot even be in the same room
Kiara: i personally find sex is better when all my chakras are aligned
Ilya: I don’t understand what you mean, but Shane is very good at sex, so maybe you are right
Ilya: He is very flexible and can get into many positions not possible for men
Ilya: There is a position called whale, I think? Indian people are very smart
Caitie: 🤣
Caitie: But I think you mean “dolphin”?
Kiara: GIRL! 🔥
Kiara: you should tell shane to try aerial yoga
Kiara: youre welcome
Lisa: Hey ladies, I just added us four plus the rookie WAG to group chat. Check your messages
Lisa: Kiara, please don’t say anything weird
Lisa: Ilya, be normal, like normal-normal, not you-normal
Kiara: copy that 😘 i promise nothing
Ilya liked this message.
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WAGs Supporting WAGs
Lisa added Summer to the group chat.
Lisa added Lisa, Caitie, Ilya, and Kiara to the group chat.
Lisa: Hi everyone, this is Summer. She is Marshy’s girlfriend
Lisa: Hi Summer, as you know, I’m with Hazy, Dykstra is Caitie’s husband, Holmberg is Kiara’s, and Ilya and Hollander are married.
Summer: Hi everyone 👋
Summer: 😊 Thanks for adding me. Um, this is very new to me, I don’t know if I even belong here, and I’m sorry if I do or say anything wrong.
Kiara: oh you are precious
Lisa: You are one of us now and we want to help support you!
Lisa: Summer, you still want me to give everyone the cliff notes version of what we chatted about?
Summer: Please 🫣
Lisa: Summer’s from Alberta, and she met Marshy last year through a mutual friend
Lisa: They’ve been doing the long-distance thing for a bit and Marshy’s asked her to move to Ottawa recently, except Summer just graduated from grad school in engineering and already has a job lined up where she did her co-op in Edmonton
Caitie: I mean it really depends on how serious you are…
Kiara: also depends on whether you are an ambers or miners fan
Summer: Neither? Um, I’ve not been much of a hockey person until I met Dylan? So I’m mostly a Centaurs fan?
Kiara: youve passed the test
Kiara: and one of us now
Summer: Thank you 🫣
Caitie: Without knowing much about your relationship, Marshy is at least somewhat serious
Caitie: Of course not all the WAGs groups are the same, but here, the players know not to give Cassie phone numbers of hookups and situationships and “what are we’s”
Caitie: Ugh, that’s not actually reassuring, is it?
Caitie: Sorry
Lisa: I mean, you want to be with Marshy, right?
Lisa: Enough to see a future together, enough to consider moving?
Lisa: Is he THE ONE for you?
Summer: Dylan is super sweet and goofy and funny… but we are still kind of new, you know? I’ve not had much serious relationship experience, he’s so different from any of the engineer guys I’ve dated…
Summer: And he’s…the hottest guy I’ve been with
Kiara: so 🍆🍑💦
Summer: 🫣
Kiara: compatibility is important
Kiara: thats how it worked out for me
Ilya: Shane was not compatible with Rose Landry
Caitie: Poor Shane is never living that one down…
Kiara: sleep with hot hockey player was on my bucket list
Kiara: im a big centaurs fan
Kiara: jake still doesnt know this, but i wasnt going to say no even if he was less hot
Kiara: but he was 🔥🍆🍆🍆 and locked me down quick with big rock
Lisa: Kiara!!!
Lisa: We talked about this
Kiara: now im happily married with kids
Kiara: and he needs me to run his life which works for both of us
Kiara: you figure out what you want and go get it
Lisa: That’s – not entirely wrong
Lisa: But maybe we can focus on giving Summer some useful suggestions
Ilya: So you like Edmonton? Want to stay there? Because you got job there already
Summer: Um…not necessarily? My family is all there. Well, not Edmonton. I’m from Red Deer.
Ilya: Never heard of it.
Ilya: But you like your family? Want to be near them?
Lisa: Ilya, how many cities without NHL teams do you know?
Ilya: Niagara Falls
Lisa: Sorry I asked
Summer: Yes, I’m close with my family. Although I’ve never lived in another province, I’m sort of excited to try out a different place, while I’m young, you know? But I was thinking more along the lines of Toronto or Montreal…
Ilya: Fuck Montréal
Summer: …The engineering jobs are better?
Ilya: Summer. Listen carefully.
Ilya: Never EVER move across the country for a boy!
Ilya: Never EVER leave a job for love without a ring on it!
Caitie: Which was exactly what you did
Caitie: You moved to a different country
Caitie: WTF Ilya
Summer: …
Ilya: Is different for me.
Ilya: I’m best hockey player and Ottawa pay lots of money for me to come
Ilya: Shane is good Canadian boy who doesn’t know how to lie
Ilya: Also Russia. Canada is much better for me.
Summer: I can probably get a job in Ottawa? I haven’t looked…
Ilya: New city, new job
Ilya: No family, no friends
Ilya: Actually just no family, you have friends now.
Summer liked a message.
Ilya: Shane and I did not name what we had for 7 years, but I knew he was the only one I loved long before we were official
Ilya: So even if relationship or Ottawa didn’t work out
Ilya: I would never regret trying
Ilya: But is different for you, no?
Caitie: Ilya we talked about not making me emotional again
Summer: Um…I don’t know what to say…thanks for sharing that.
Summer: Yah, I’m not certain what the future looks like for Dylan and me, but …I can’t say we have what you have with Shane, yet
Ilya: Marshy is good player
Ilya: But he is not Shane or me
Ilya: If he gets traded and you have good job, good friends, and you want to be with him, you have no choice but to move and leave everything behind
Ilya: Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe more
Caitie: Ilya’s not wrong
Caitie: And that’s why most of the partners either don’t work outside of the home or have a very flexible job they can do from home
Caitie: It gets harder once there are kids and schools involved, having to uproot your entire lives
Lisa: Depending whether you want to keep working and the kind of job, moving to a different place/country may be very challenging
Lisa: I’ve been pretty lucky because Hazy’s only been on Ontario teams
Lisa: I don’t know what I would do if he gets traded to the US
Lisa: Studying for another medical licensing exam is not what I want to do at this point
Ilya: Hazy’s not getting traded
Ilya: I will fight GM and owner
Lisa: ❤️
Summer: 🙏🥹 Thank you all so much for speaking frankly
Ilya: You also have to think about what future looks like
Ilya: Marshy is defenseman
Ilya: Injury is part of hockey, but worse for defenseman
Ilya: Any injury can mean end of his playing
Ilya: What will he do after hockey?
Ilya: Marshy is good guy too, but he will be young and cannot do the only job he knows how to do.
Lisa: Ilya…
Ilya: Or maybe he play for a long time but hockey is hard on the body
Ilya: Are you ready to spend rest of your life to take care of man whose body slowly falls apart
Lisa: Ilya!!!
Ilya: Summer says she doesn’t know hockey, maybe she doesn’t know about this.
Ilya: Is our responsibility to tell her, show her real picture.
Ilya: You don’t need to know all answers but you should be told possibilities
Summer: No, no, please, this is so helpful. You are right. I am new to all of this, and everything is a bit overwhelming.
Summer: I’m definitely interested in moving out east for an interesting job with or without a relationship. So maybe that’s what I need to focus on first.
Ilya: I suggest no sacrificing job, family, friends for a boy until he gives you ring, and maybe legal paper and both names on house.
Caitie: Still think it’s hilarious coming from you
Ilya: What, I’m old fashioned Russian.
Ilya: And also I’m favourite son now. Best thing ever happened to me besides Shane. Would do it again even without Shane if I get to keep his parents.
Caitie: 🤣
Kiara: 🤣
Ilya: You have my number now and WAGs too. Ask us questions.
Ilya: I take care of rookie WAGs.
Lisa: I know this is a lot. Take some time to think through it. Like Ilya said, please reach out if you have questions.
Summer: 🙏 I can’t express how much I appreciate being included and trusted, and I’m truly thankful for the sage advice.
Summer: I’m going to surprise Dylan by coming out to a game in two weeks. Although honestly, I’m more excited to meet all the WAGs!
Lisa: ♥️
Caitie: ♥️
Kiara: 💖
Ilya: 😘