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Martin remembers that in his youth the time a small traveling circus made a stop on their tour just outside Workingham. Mum and Da took him, Simon and Caitlin to it after much begging and promises of getting good grades on their report card.
It's a fading memory, but the smell of wet hay and oncoming rain still assaults his nostrils. If Martin thinks hard enough he can recall a lot of details about that day. Caitlin was wearing a new pink dress that she wanted to wear to school the next day to impress some of her friends. Simon accidentally spilled his soda on his sister's dress and accidentally splashed in the rain puddles when Caitlin was next to him. Da complained about the high prices at the concession stands and cursed when mud got all over his nice shoes.
Da smelled of sweet tobacco smoke.
Martin doesn't remember what Mum had been doing; besides scolding his brother and tugging him along by her side. He does remember that her hand wasn't clammy and wasn't wearing her usual perfume.
He had been fascinated by everything. At that age, he'd never seen so many colors, so many different outfits. It made Workingham seem so dull. That was probably the beginning of Martin's bug for traveling.
The acts of the circus have mostly faded in his mind. Martin thinks there was a juggler, the world's smallest horse, a man who put ferrets in his trousers, and a lady who could dance on hot coals.
None of them stuck with him like 'The New Elephant Man'. Martin didn't understand what an elephant man was or made him the new one. He still doesn't to this day and he's in his thirties.
His Mum had given him one Credit to do anything he wanted. Looking back on it now, his Mum was probably thinking he's spend it on sugary treats or riding on the carousel until he threw up. Martin snuck off to where all the odd novelties were, like the girl who could fit inside your pocket or bearded lady. He'd paid the stern looking man (with the entire Credit! He wouldn't even have enough to go and buy that same soda that Simon had been drinking) and was ushered into a dark tent.
It scared Martin. He was only a child and was by himself for one of the first times in his life. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt and rocked on his heels waiting for something, anything to happen.
That was when he heard the heavy husky breathing. It was inches in front of his face and smelled foul. Martin doesn't move, he can't move; his feet felt as heavy as lead. He's wished he hadn't wondered off, wished he had stayed by Mum's side and let her decide what to do with the extra Credit instead. He dreaded dying here in the darkness alone with this creature, the new Elephant Man as his only companion.
There's a sharp crack and a flash of light as a match was struck between Martin and the Elephant Man. Martin gasped and covered his mouth when he gazed upon the circus act in the dim light. It was horrifying in his child's mind. As a man, Martin wonders if he'd view it differently now. But as a child the Elephant Man's contorted face, covered entirely in welts, bruises and scars terrified him.
He screamed.
"Martin."
Martin opens his eyes and shakes his head from side to side as if that will shake away the memories. He blinks a few times and realizes that Douglas must been trying to get his attention for a while now, if the deep creases on the older pilot's brow are anything to go by.
Douglas clicks his fingers in front of Martin's face. "Ni Hao. Martin, are you with me now?"
Martin smiles. "Y-yes, yes. S-sorry about that, Douglas. I must have daydreamed a bit."
"I'm sorry that my story about how I once was had two Russian acrobats at the same time in mid-air wasn't riveting enough for you."
Martin flinches, sitting back in his chair and trying not to hiss when his back hits the seat. His wounds from Boros are healing well, but they're still painful. Martin cups his mug in his hands; the hot ceramic is comforting. He closes his eyes and sighs.
Someone squeezes his forearm and Martin opens his eyes. Douglas smile reaches his eyes. He squeezes Martin's arm again, then retracts, and continues to sip on his coffee and look at the passers-by who walk by the café.
It's a sunny day on Persephone. The sky is clear and the wind was minimal. Absolutely perfect. Douglas and Martin are sitting in a nice little café for their break while Carolyn and Arthur try and find some work for GERTI. The last time they landed on Persephone on a whim they found a man who needed all of things, including his pet cat, flown immediately to Ariel and would paid a hefty sum. Things would have gone over more smoothly if Martin hadn't nearly killed the cat when he forgot to put the cargo heating on. But Carolyn is hoping for similar luck on this trip to Persephone. Martin hopes for the best. He needs to keep flying.
Martin hisses again as he shifts in his seat. Damn, he really needs to get more of that cream. He's been scraping the bottom of the tube recently. He'll have time to go shopping before they disembark and will get lucky. Maybe he'll ask Douglas to do the negotiating. He's rubbish at it.
"When I was little I saw an Elephant Man." Martin isn't sure why he brings it up out of the blue.
Douglas stares at him blankly. "Shah muh?"
"It was at a circus. He was a side show act. A freak show. His face was all scarred." Martin shivers. "Sometimes I wonder if—"
"No."
Martin meets Douglas' eyes. The older pilot's gaze is hard and unyielding. "But—"
"No," Douglas says simply. "Stop thinking like that." Martin opens his mouth and Douglas stops him by holding up a finger. "No, really Martin. Stop. I'm only going to say this once so listen. Stop pitying yourself. What happened wasn't your fault and it never will be. Your scars… they're apart of you now. You have to learn to live with them and live with them well. Remember one day they will heal and fade. Then there will only be the memories." Douglas drinks his coffee after he's finishes his speech. "I'm tired of being wise and sentimental for one day. Come on, let's go. You want to go to the market place? Last time I checked you needed more of that cream. I'm getting tired of hearing you groan every time you sit down."
Martin grins into his coffee mug.
He can hear birds singing nearby.