Chapter Text
‘Uhh, hi… I don’t know how to start this…
‘It’s funny, I’ve never written a letter before. I almost asked my parents for advice, but that’s a bit silly, isn’t it? So I’m just trying on my own. I hope I’m not making a fool out of myself.
‘You probably have a lot of questions… Uhm, basically my inside voice got a bit too loud and I needed a way to vent about it. My best friends suggested that I write my feelings down so I can stop ranting to them about it… So here I am.
‘Well, I suppose it’s more than that. I wanted to talk to you, but I’m not exactly a brave person. My inside voice decided that this is a good idea (for some reason??) so I guess I’m doing it now? Writing you letters? I haven’t decided if I’m actually going to put it in your locker yet, and just the thought of it is making me feel a bit dizzy…
‘If you haven’t worked out already, I have feelings for you.
‘Haha, that feels awkward to say…
‘But seriously, I like you a lot. We haven’t spoken much, only a few times, but honestly I think about those times a lot… You’re so popular too and I’m… not. So that also makes it harder I guess. :/
‘I haven’t liked anyone as much as I like you before, so I’m still getting used to it (I say, as if it hasn’t already been a year and a half…)
‘That’s kinda pathetic, right? I’ve liked you for so long, but I can barely function enough to hold a conversation? Perks of being shy I suppose…
‘Anyway, I suppose this is me trying. Is it silly? Probably. Am I kind of secretly enjoying this? Yeah… Honestly, I am. I feel nervous, but the good kind of nervous, Not like a panic attack, haha.
‘I hope you take this letter well and I don’t look creepy to you or anything. I swear I’m not creepy! Or at least I don’t feel creepy.
‘Oh God, am I creepy???
‘I seriously am not meaning to be! Ahh, well, I’m almost out of room on the page (how am I already up to the second side??) so I’ll sign off now.
‘Not sure if I’m gonna write another letter, but I kind of hope so. I might… make sure you don’t think this is creepy first though. Haha…
‘Anyways, signing off for now,
‘Your secret admirer, (omfg I’m actually writing this!)
‘My inside voice.’
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Kwak Jiseok found the letter tucked inside his locker after third spell on Tuesday. The little envelope was plastered closed with an awkward shaped piece of tape and a little yellow heart sticker that was peeling at the edge.
He squinted at it, turning it over in his hands a few times while trying to figure out what the hell it was. He knew he hadn’t left it there himself, and he couldn’t think of who would leave him such a thing.
He didn’t hear Kim Jungsu approaching, caught off guard by the hand that clapped heavily against his back. He winced, choking slightly from the impact. Turning to glare at his best friend, Jiseok almost momentarily forgot about the envelope.
But Jungsu saw it, snatching it up in a second. “Oh, what’s this?” he asked, studying both of its blank white sides.
“Give that back!” Jiseok complained, reaching out for it desperately. He had no idea what it even was, but he still didn’t want his best friend of all people being the first to open it. Out of principle he couldn’t allow that.
Jungsu leant to the side, holding it out of Jiseok’s reach, a devilish grin playing on his lips. Jiseok was about to complain again when suddenly the letter was gone. Both friends stared around for a moment before their other friend Goo Gunil stepped into view, holding the letter tightly.
“Stop teasing him, Jungsu,” he sighed, holding the paper out for the youngest to take. “What is it, Jiseokie? Some kind of love letter?” Jungsu stifled a laugh at the suggestion.
The comment made Jiseok’s cheeks burn. He wanted to snap back at his friend, but honestly he still had absolutely no idea what it was. Instead he sighed, turning so they couldn’t see as he ripped the envelope open, grumbling out a rough “shut up” as he did so.
Inside was a single sheet of lined paper, folded perfectly down the middle and covered in scrawled handwriting. Jiseok frowned, fishing it out and opening it up to see the front.
The more he read, the more his heart began to stutter in his chest. Him? Someone had feelings for him?
Surely it was some kind of joke. Well, Jiseok supposed he was on the more popular side. He was one of those guys that everyone in the year knew, someone who did well enough in both his classes and extra-curriculars that teachers seemed to smile when they saw him. He was nice, he supposed, but he didn’t think anyone had feelings for him.
And this person, whoever they were, seemed sweet. They seemed nervous, and something about that made a little ball of giddiness begin to form in Jiseok’s chest, nestled right under his rib cage. He swallowed thickly, his eyes glossing over the words.
Hell, he didn’t even know if this person was a boy or a girl. All he knew was that they were shy and had spoken to him once or twice - both things that could lead to over half the school. Jiseok was out and proud as bisexual, so he supposed however this person ended up identifying, they had a chance with him, but he was still curious.
“So?” Jungsu asked, poking at the youngest’s shoulder. “What is it?”
Jiseok froze, pressing the letter to his chest in a reflex attempt to hide it. His whole body was tense, like he had been caught looking at something he shouldn’t have been. The movement caught his friend’s attention instantly, both of them noting the heat crawling up Jiseok’s neck and settling on his cheeks.
“Oh my God,” Jungsu gasped, “it is a love letter! I have to read it. Let me see!”
Jiseok yanked his hand away, tucking the letter safely back into the envelope. “No, no, no,” he repeated, shaking his head. “It’s for me, not you. I’m not showing either of you!”
Gunil held up his hands, waving for them both to calm down. As much as he was trying to be the mature one, Jiseok could see the grin pulling at the edges of his lips. “Okay, okay. Of course you don’t have to show us, Jiseokie. Who is it from, though? I had no idea anyone even liked you.”
“Neither,” Jiseok replied once the letter was tucked safely into his bag out of his friend’s reach. He cleared his throat, trying to keep his blush down as he spoke. “It was really sweet too. They said they’d liked me for ages too - over a year. I have no clue who it was. It was signed ‘your secret admirer, my inside voice.’”
Jungsu frowned to himself. “‘My inside voice’? What does that mean? Is it a nickname, or…?”
Jiseok raised a shoulder in a half shrug. “Whoever it was mentioned that they think about me a lot but they’re shy. I think they’re saying that their inside voice, the one that thinks about me all the time, is writing the letter. It’s about getting out what they’re thinking instead of keeping it inside.”
“Oh, that’s really sweet actually,” Gunil hummed. “Do you think they’ll leave more notes?”
“They said they want to,” Jiseok replied. “But they aren’t sure. They were worried it’s creepy. I don’t think it’s creepy…” he mumbled. Honestly, Jiseok liked it. He liked the idea that someone was writing while thinking about him. He hadn’t had a crush in a while, and it had been even longer since someone had last had a crush on him. The way his chest tightened was honestly addicting.
Jungsu threw himself forward, his arms looping around Jiseok’s shoulders and yanking him sideways into his chest. “Aw!” he cried, much too loud for right beside Jiseok’s ear. The younger cringed away, struggling against his friend’s tight hold. “Someone has a crush on Jiseokie!”
“Get off,” he complained, writhing awkwardly. “Don’t announce it to the whole corridor!”
Gunil just laughed. He patted Jungsu on the back, his smile wide as he watched his two friends. “Okay, okay,” he said. “We should head to the tables for lunch now. At this rate, break’s going to be over before we even get there.”
Even as the three of them walked back down the corridor towards their usual lunch spot, Jiseok found himself unable to take his mind off the love letter. He smiled to himself, each step he took like floating through the clouds. He was riding a high he didn’t know he would ever get to experience, and it was heavenly.
He just wondered when - and if - the next letter would come…