Archive of Our Own

“Nope.”

“Aw, c'mon, Kris! It'll be fun!”

‘Never in a million years.’

“What, are you a scaredy cat or something, dude?”

Kris halfheartedly swatted Susie away when she began elbowing them teasingly, ignoring the grin on the saurian's face and the pure joyous enthusiasm radiating from the reindeer standing next to her. Realistically, they should have expected this. It was deep into winter, and Christmas was fast approaching. This was bound to happen sooner or later.

They wished they'd protested the hangout further. They wished they'd somehow managed to convince known winter freak Noelle Holiday to remain in the warmth of the Dreemurr residence and not drag her three friends into an outing around town for winter fun purposes. Maybe then they wouldn't have wandered off towards the forest in search of a place with enough snow piled on the ground to make a good snowmonster and ended up at the lake.

The completely frozen over lake.

Because of course the lake had to be completely frozen over.

They were beginning to think she had a sixth sense for this sort of thing. Well, “beginning” wasn't exactly the most accurate descriptor - they'd been sure of it for half a decade by now. She somehow always knew when the temperature was low enough for the lake to be coated in a thick layer of ice that could be skated on and came prepared accordingly, tugging at their wrist with that pleading face of hers until they counted their losses and put on the ice skates. Was she a walking thermometer? And how come she always managed to drag them into it in the end?

(Maybe that was on them, too. Those puppy-dog eyes were lethal.)

Thankfully for their own wellbeing, Kris had become practically immune after overexposure, which was how they could bear to shake their head no at her insistence. Noelle didn't admit defeat, though. She never did. A spark in her eyes notified them of the opposite, and she directed her gaze to the next best target: Berdly.

The bluebird faltered a little under her literal doe eyes, though he tried to hide it. Kris could practically see his inner people pleaser battling for control in his prefrontal cortex before he managed to overpower it.

“For once in my life, I must agree with my rival.” he finally piped up in that obnoxious crow of his. “This sounds absolutely dreadful.”

“The chicken and the scaredy cat.” Susie snorted. “Match made in hell.”

Berdly audibly growled, failing to look intimidating with his ridiculous fluffed feathers.

“Not wanting to expose myself to humiliation makes me a chicken now?” he scoffed.

Noelle rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, but she was clearly still fully determined to keep insisting. She turned to Kris. Goosebumps rippled over their body at her powerful stare - she meant business.

“And what's your excuse, Krismas?” she prodded - literally, by lightly poking a hoof claw into their chest.

‘Tired.’ they signed simply.

Well. It wasn't a complete lie. Assuming their outing would be normal and not strenuous, they'd left their SOUL locked in its cage for some literal and figurative peace of mind, and it was making them feel lethargic, limbs heavy when they moved them, and less focused than when they forgot to take their ADHD medication. They didn't regret it, though - they'd easily take any opportunity to not have to deal with its constant chattering. They wanted to enjoy this brief moment of calm.

…A brief moment of calm that seemed to be coming to an end soon. It wasn't a matter of whether Noelle could convince everyone to ice skate, but when.

Still, they would stand their ground. They were strong and independent. They wouldn't be shaken by their childhood friend just because she happened to be extremely persuasive.

“See? Kris is tired.” Berdly emphasized, visibly antsy. “So… s-so it would be unkind of you to force them to exert themselves.”

Kris lightly kicked the side of his leg in the hopes he'd get his shit together. He was faltering, acting too nice and normal towards them. He was showing weakness. The moment Noelle realized she had a chance, it would be over for the two of them.

‘Don't stress.’ they signed to Berdly with a playful smirk, hoping it would put him more at ease. ‘What's she gonna do, push us onto the ice?’

Noelle stared at Kris blankly with a look that suggested she was considering it. They grimaced a little. They did not want to deal with that if they could help it.

“I've been further from that.” the reindeer confirmed under her breath. She heaved a dramatically sad sigh. “Well, if you really don't want to, I guess I'll just have to…”

“Give up?” Berdly suggested snarkily.

“Nope!” she chirped, flicking her head up as if giving someone the go-ahead.

Suddenly, a snowball shot towards the bluebird next to Kris and nailed him straight on the back of his head. The force of the impact combined with being caught off guard had him squawking like an actual chicken and nearly made him faceplant directly on the freezing snow, but surprisingly, he managed to catch himself. His feathers fluffed further against the wetness left behind by the impact, and he brought his wings to the back of his head and began frantically flicking as much of it as he could away.

The human was just about to snicker at his misfortune, waiting for him to stop his frenetic half-preen so they could sign taunts at him, but before they could, they felt their own wet impact on the back of their head and, to their chagrin, actually faceplanted on the snow, doing their best to get up as quickly as they could and brushing snow out of their winter coat. Embarrassment burned beneath their skin despite the freezing cold they were experiencing, only worsening when they heard Berdly's quiet caws of amusement.

They took a break from glaring at him while he used their raccoon-chitter snickers against them to look back at the source of their humiliation. They were greeted by what they expected: Susie, a gleeful grin cleaving her face in half and many more snowballs tucked in her arm. The two of them were at a tactical disadvantage.

“I challenge you two to a snowball fight.” they heard Noelle say. “Pro-Skating versus Anti-Skating. Whoever wins gets to decide.”

Berdly turned to her, still flicking snow out of his feathers. “And if we refuse?”

“Hmm…” Noelle put a claw to her chin in a mock pensive stance. “Well, I guess it wouldn't be much of a fight then, would it?”

Snow crunched behind Kris when Susie took a menacing step forward, and they could have sworn they heard Berdly audibly gulp. They glanced back the slightest bit to see her already primed to aim, a sizable snowball in her huge, gloved paw. Their childhood friend drove a hard bargain.

‘K.’ they conceded after much deliberation.

“You're entertaining this?!” Berdly hissed at them through his clenched beak, bewildered.

Kris shrugged. The bluebird just whined in dismay, burying his face in his wings. After a while of silent wallowing, he slid his wings down his face and finally faced Noelle again with a deep groan-sigh.

“Alright. We accept your challenge, dear Noelle.” he said curtly. “If! We are allowed better team names!”

Noelle's grin was just shy of manic. “Like what?”

‘You're S-U-S-E-L-L-E.’ Kris spelled out. ‘Like your names together.’

“Sure.” Susie snickered, playfully bumping her shoulder with Kris's and nearly knocking them off their feet as she walked by to stand at Noelle's side. “We can be Suselle, and you can be Crispy Chicken. Y'know, 'cuz that's what you'll be by the time we're done with you!”

“Not that there's a lot of crisping up happening in a snowball fight…” Noelle murmured shyly, but her voice barely carried itself through the air and her flicking ears were reaching speeds that rivalled helicopter blades now that Susie had an arm loosely draped over her shoulders.

‘I like it.’ Kris signed, looking at Berdly pleadingly. He'd been busy glaring blunt daggers at Susie, but he turned his head when he noticed them staring.

To their befuddlement, he made a little noise in the back of his throat as soon as the two were face to face, staring at them for maybe longer than necessary. It was probably just the cold, but his cheeks looked flushed as well. After a few awkward seconds of watching Berdly's pupils slowly shrink and dilate in real time, the bluebird finally got flustered by their display and turned his head away with a scoff.

“Fine.” he hissed. “Crispy Chicken it is.”

Admittedly, Kris was taken by surprise at his lightning-quick resignation. That was all it took? Huh. Maybe they should get into the puppy dog eyes business after all. If not just to see him get all fluffy again.

(…Was it normal to want to reach out and-)

Kris shook their head quickly. Good grief. Had their SOUL still been tucked away in their chest, it would be going haywire by now, if the blood rushing through their veins at mach speeds was anything to go by. They needed to get rid of this buzzy feeling, fast. Hopefully the inevitable snowball fight would warm them up enough that their body didn't feel like it was about to give up on them.

Standing next to Berdly, they readied up, rolling their shoulders and stretching their arms while avoiding letting Susie specifically out of their sight since they knew she liked playing dirty. Sure, they were teamed up with Berdly, and they'd chosen to go to this outing SOULless like a moron, and Noelle and Susie were a force to be reckoned with, but there was no way the fight would become that one-sided.

Right?

[…]

Wishful thinking had never helped Kris before, and it certainly wasn't about to help them in their time of need, it seemed.

The snowball fight - if you could even call it that - had been one-sided in ways previously thought impossible. Susie and Noelle were simply too strong of opponents when put together: they were already strong on their own, Noelle being built for sudden movements and swift on her hooves while Susie was a powerhouse despite the weakness that came with being cold-blooded, but when joined together in a team? It was like a Frankenstein's monster of nimbleness and sheer power that no normal person could hope to beat.

There were only a couple of moments where Kris and Berdly were doing fine as a team, back when they still had the foolish hope that they stood even the slightest chance against Suselle™. Namely when Berdly had noticed them lagging behind - they could never get used to the lethargy that came with going SOULless - and dragged them to a hiding spot behind a tree, engulfing their entire hand with his oversized wing as he did so and only letting go when the two of them were secure, slowly, hesitantly, like he was just allowing gravity to let his wing slip from their wrist.

He'd taken the fall for them once, too, by acting as a meat shield for Susie's barrage of snowballs. That had been… weirdly brave of him, to get pelted with snow like that when he was so particular about his feathers.

(Kris didn't feel any specific way about Berdly looking after them. And if they did, it was the lack of SOUL talking.)

What annoyed Kris the most wasn't their horrible loss, though that definitely stung - it was the fact that Noelle knew her victory was in the bag. She'd exploited their and Berdly's competitiveness and goaded them into teaming up with each other, too focused on the spark of a challenge to notice how unbalanced the team compositions were. She was too smart for her own good. They'd get back at her one day.

“Glad that's settled.” their childhood friend chirped, lightly patting them on the shoulder in a vaguely patronizing way before hooking the straps of her backpack with one arm. “Now let's skate!”

“C-could we at least be allowed a break to… r-replenish our energy bar?” Berdly wheezed out, hunched over by a tree. Icy water dripped from his feathers, which at that point had fluffed nearly twice as much as they'd been prior.

Noelle's eyes were still on her stuffed backpack, wrenching something from under what looked like a puffy jacket that she'd somehow fit inside. She was having some trouble pulling it out without also removing the jacket, so she decided to count her losses and pulled the jacket out along with whatever was under it.

“Oh, we don't need that.” she replied absently.

Kris watched her rummage through her bag casually, entranced and with a small pit of dread in their stomach. Noelle was crazy about the winter, but not this crazy. Surely she couldn't have…?

“The break?” the bluebird asked in a semi-sarcastic tone. “Because I can assure you I personally require it if we are to go buy ice skates at this hour.”

“Well don't worry your little blue head off!” the reindeer giggled. “We don't have to go anywhere for the skates!”

She tossed the jacket over her shoulder, before pulling out… a pair of ice skates fit for hooves. Then another, less bulky and fit for wider feet. And lastly, two near-identical pairs, only differing in size. Which was frankly far too many pairs of ice skates to fit in such a small-looking backpack and how the hell had she managed that????

Kris gaped with pure dismay. Their SOUL would've dropped right down to the Earth's core if it was still in their chest.

Oh Angel above. They weren't getting out of this one at all, were they?

“Ta-da!” Noelle sang with a little flourish. “I brought some along! Mom had them custom made a couple of weeks ago, faha!”

The human turned their head to look defeatedly at Susie, but the saurian did nothing but shrug, a teasing smirk on her face. The action put a scowl on theirs. That traitor. She'd known Noelle was bringing the skates all along! Allowing those lovebirds to team up had been a major mistake on Kris's part.

Everyone walked over and grabbed their respective skates with different degrees of enthusiasm. Kris eyed theirs with disdain. They could tell the skates were a perfect fit just by looking at them. Damn it all.

“You even brought ones that take my talons into account?” Berdly gawked, disbelieving, as he analyzed his fitted pair. “All so I could partake in this ridiculous activity…?!”

“Of course I did, silly!” Noelle smiled kindly down at the bluebird. “You're my friend!”

The bluebird froze, meeting Noelle's chocolate-brown eyes. His face fell for such a brief moment that Kris wasn't even sure if it had happened, before he hid the slip in his demeanor behind that familiar façade and puffed out his chest.

“R-right!” he cheeped, managing a giddy smile that both looked fake and far too real at the same time. “Of course! W-we are… friends, aren't we?”

Noelle reached out to ruffle Berdly's crest playfully, making him squawk. All of a sudden, his smile didn't seem so fake anymore. Something within Kris warmed at the sight, the blood in their veins flowing more smoothly. Berdly always seemed worried about the wrong things. Maybe ice skating with his mutual friends would do him good. And maybe Kris could join, just this once.

…Good grief, what were they even thinking? Was their lack of a SOUL muddling their brain already?

The human scoffed halfheartedly under their breath, fumbling with their skates more than necessary. They'd always been a lost cause when it came to putting them on, and their frustration at having been successfully roped into ice skating combined with the sluggishness that came with a lack of SOUL was making everything worse. Curse all of those fancy straps and useless shoestrings.

“Having trouble with such a menial task, Kristine?”

Kris bit the inside of their lip so hard they wouldn't have been surprised if it'd drawn blood. They flipped Berdly off wordlessly, not bothering to look at him, but the sound of crunching snow still followed him as he carefully approached, oversized skates already fastened.

“No need to be so feisty.” he crowed, and they didn't have to look at his face to perfectly imagine the smug look plastered across it. “If you're struggling, you can always ask someone more competent for help!”

“…F'ck off.” they grumbled, but between their slurring voice and mumbly tone, it'd come out closer to a nondescript noise than anything.

Berdly did not fuck off. Instead, he kneeled in front of them, just watching them put the skates on. They shrank under his gaze. They'd always hated feeling watched.

Unsurprisingly, his presence just made them fumble further. He groaned when he saw them fail to fasten the strap properly for the third time in a row and one of his wings slid into their field of vision. To their surprise, he didn't force them to accept his help, merely tapping their wrist with his feather-fingers. The weird degree of consideration made Kris pause their struggles to look up at him, and the gentle glimmer in his greenish-yellow eyes subsequently brought a buzzy sort of sensation to their ribcage.

“…Do you want help?” the bluebird asked them. If Kris didn't know any better, they'd say he sounded almost awkward. How unlike him.

They snickered under their breath at the drastic change in demeanor. Well, if that nerd could actually be aware of other people's emotions, maybe they could let him have this one thing. They flashed him a lazy thumbs up, letting their gaze linger on the bark of the tree next to them right after when they felt an embarrassed blush creep along their neck and onto their face.

Berdly didn't waste time aiding them with the stupid skates, sliding their hands out of the way so he could do it himself. They couldn't help the way their gaze magnetized to his oversized wings, meticulously tangling the straps together and fastening them. How he managed to be so good at handling small objects, they had no clue.

“You switched the straps around.” he explained under his breath. Kris fought the urge to flinch and failed. When had he gotten so close? “They're supposed to cross in this model, or else they'd be too loose.”

The human hummed noncommittally, nodding so he understood they'd heard him. Immediately after, it was like he'd noticed how close he was as well, because he moved away so quickly it almost made him lose his balance. Kris stood up once he did, accustoming themselves to the sensation of wearing ice skates again.

“Ahem!” Berdly cleared his throat loudly, feathers fluffed twice as much as they'd been prior. He looked oddly flushed. “Let us skate!”

Neither Kris nor Berdly even had a chance to breathe before Susie and Noelle respectively dragged them onto the ice. Berdly at least was fortunate enough to end up with his closest friend, who simply tugged him along by the wings onto the thickest part at the shore excitedly, even as his legs wobbled and his skates zipped to the sides in sudden jerky movements before he steadied himself. Kris didn't share that luck - Susie knew how much they could withstand on a good day, so she was hauling them around like a sack of potatoes. They wouldn't be surprised if she was actively attempting to rip their arms off with that stunt.

“Live a little, dude!” she grinned down at them, skating around and dragging them along with surprising proficiency. “What're you so gloomy for, huh?”

Restrained by her massive paws, Kris couldn't sign at her, so they instead chose to kick her shin awkwardly, nearly falling flat on their ass with that stupid, reckless move.

“Alright, I get it.” Susie sighed overdramatically, throwing her head back for extra flair. When had she gotten so good at skating?? “I'm not good enough to be your skating partner.”

Kris visibly shook their head in as much of an exasperated manner as they could, but their best friend wasn't looking at them. Suddenly, she sprinted through the ice in one big burst, hauling them along as she neared Noelle and Berdly. Maybe they let out a stupid embarrassing squeak that they were trying desperately to ignore at the sudden movement. Maybe they didn't. No one would confirm it for their own sake.

“Hey, Noelle!” the saurian yelled out. “My partner's lame! Trade ya!”

Noelle looked over to them like a sentinel, her already gleeful face now alight with an even more intense joy. She seemed to have been teaching Berdly how to steady himself better, because he wasn't wobbling so much anymore, and he seemed a little more sure of himself in general. Distractedly, Kris let their eyes linger on how his feathers puffed up against the cold, rounding out his facial features in a… strangely endearing way.

Thankfully, that deranged train of thought had its emergency brakes pulled when Noelle used her free hoof to push the bluebird down the ice towards Susie. The loud squawk of surprise that exited him was enough to put their prior stupid little mouse squeak to shame in terms of embarrassing situations.

Not that Kris was any better off, because Susie did the exact same with them, sending them careening Noelle's way. She caught them easily, and they were only slightly ashamed to admit they'd clung to her instinctively when they felt their legs grow unsteady, breathing heavily with disproportionate anxiety.

“I got you, Krismas!” she giggled, gently peeling them away from her and letting her hooves slide down to their wrists. “You're okay!”

Slowly, Kris stopped shaking when they felt her calming hold on their wrists. Their body, which had been pumping blood around like their nonexistent SOUL was hammering in their chest, settled down along with them. When they finally looked back up at Noelle, she was smiling softly, a question dancing in her chocolate-brown eyes. They nodded curtly. They were safe. It'd be fine.

“Is this so bad?” the reindeer teased them, her smile turning cheeky.

Kris grumbled under their breath. Noelle's face lit up - she'd known them long enough by now to understand what their nonverbal attempts at communication meant. They looked over at the other pair, Susie very likely tormenting Berdly by letting go of him completely and watching him fumble for any sort of stability for a couple of seconds.

Yeah, alright. Maybe ice skating wasn't all that bad after all.

The four of them kept up that rhythm for a while, Susie and Noelle skating with Berdly and Kris interchangeably as they all started to get more comfortable with being on the ice. Kris wasn't shaking as much anymore, for one, and their lack of SOUL, though it was making them more sluggish than usual, wasn't hindering them in any other significant way. Besides maybe the way they'd let their gaze wander over to Berdly whenever he and Noelle were paired and he was having the time of his life skating with his best friend who didn't threaten to slide him through the entire surface of the lake like a feathery hockey puck for fun.

Somehow, at some point, they'd ended up stuck with the nerd bird, probably because Noelle, lovestruck reindeer that she was, was just dying to romantically skate with Susie. The two worst ice skaters of the group put together. Surely everything would go right.

“Amazed by my display, Kristoff?” a familiar squawky voice piped up smugly.

…It certainly would have gone better if Berdly was quieter about it.

They let go of him to sign a reply, now confident enough to do so. ‘Lame.’

The bluebird hmph-ed, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn't expect a specimen such as yourself to be able to appraise such graceful movements.”

‘I don't see any grace.’

“Well, you should get your eyes checked.”

‘Show me your moves.’

“A Captain Kestrel quote? Really?” Berdly was trying to sound unamused, but the smile on his beak betrayed his feelings.

Kris nodded, repeating their signs slower, like he'd had a hard time reading them the first time. The bluebird chuckled under his breath, eyes narrowing.

“Alright, you asked for it!” he crowed. “Observe.”

Sliding father away, Berdly attempted a shoddy twirl, only to almost immediately slip and fall on his ass. The human couldn't help but snicker, putting a hand over their mouth to muffle it. They tried to control their amusement, lest they joined him on the ice.

Berdly was cobalt blue with embarrassment now, frantically trying and failing to get back up. In his chagrin, he couldn't calm down enough to gain the stability needed for it. And so, Kris offered their hand to him as nonchalantly as they could.

The bluebird looked at them. Then at their hand. Then at them again. His blush only deepened further, clearly mortified to require help from his bitter gaming rival, but to their surprise, he took their hand with his much bigger wing, allowing them to hoist him back up. They didn't let go just then, waiting for him to fully regain his footing.

“…Perhaps I'm not suited for tricks.” he mumbled, dusting himself off with one wing even though there was no dust on his clothes.

He wasn't facing them, Kris noticed with an errant pang of endearment. Instead, his eyes were stuck to his wing. Still linked with their hand. Feathers slipping between and around their fingers, so seemingly soft their chest buzzed with disappointment that they couldn't feel them properly over the fabric of their gloves.

All of a sudden, Kris's face felt warm as well.

They snatched their hand away before they could get lost imagining what they would feel like to the touch without their gloves, blood rushing through their veins faster and faster as the inside of their body heated up with their fluster. They were downright lightheaded, and they couldn't even tell if it was their SOULless self punishing them for being a stubborn idiot who was determined to keep the entity away for just one outing, or if it was something else entirely. All they knew is that clenching and unclenching the hand that had once been holding Berdly's wing to try their hardest to get rid of that tingly feeling wasn't doing them any favors.

The bluebird's beak pursed in a way that made him look like he was swallowing dryly. “I-is something-”

“Clear the way! Reindeer incoming!” Susie's familiar raspy voice rang through the air as she yelled out practically from across the lake.

Kris barely had time to look towards the source to experience firsthand the sight of Susie twirling Noelle to her chest like she was revving up, before swinging her by her arm in an arc and launching her full force across the ice, the reindeer giggling all the while. They didn't worry about their childhood friend, though. She was easily the most capable of the four of them, anyway - if anyone could withstand Susie's stunts, it was her.

They did, however, experience a pang of concern towards the bluebird they'd gotten stuck skating together with, who had ironically enough gone completely rigid like a deer in headlights. He'd only just begun scrambling to get out of the way when Noelle had noticed him and started trying to brake. She had no such luck, though - Susie had a mean throwing arm.

He'd never make it out of the way in time. The two of them would get hurt. Which explained their most recent impulsive decision.

Without thinking, Kris shot forward on the ice and reached out to Berdly, sliding an arm around his waist and clumsily pulling him to their side until their hips bumped and they were sent awkwardly sliding across the lake. They were planning to loosen the grip as soon as he was out of the line of fire, but the brand new instability that action had caused led them to tighten it even further instead, attempting to brake to the best of their ability. It was still a while before the two of them actually slowed to a stop, but with their combined efforts, they managed to do it without taking too long.

Berdly looked down at the point of contact, then at them, a little befuddled. Maybe it was the lightheadedness from having to make that split-second decision, but they could have sworn his cheeks were a darker blue than usual.

…Kris's hand remained on his midriff, though. They sort of couldn't help it, really. He was still wobbling on his talons, and they'd occasionally feel one of his wings on their back for only a brief moment as he repeatedly tried to steady himself. Their eyes drifted to the hand that was making contact with Berdly (yet another thing they couldn't help), unwillingly noticing how easily they'd tucked him to their body with just one arm.

(For someone with such wide limbs, he sure had a dainty waist.)

Kris completely wiped that thought from their memory cache, blood rushing through their veins until it felt like it was buzzing under their skin. Maybe going SOULless during such an intense physical activity wasn't one of their brightest choices. What stupid thoughts they were having as punishment for their awful idea.

They snatched their arm back just as soon as Berdly made the slightest movement, skating farther away from him. He stood right where he was, blinking slowly, keeping his wings close to him and preening the longer feathers like he didn't know what else to do with them.

“Th-thank you.” he stammered, his already fluffed crest feathers twitching quickly. “For… moving me.”

‘You're welcome.’ the human answered shakily. They had a hunch their shaking wasn't due to the instability of standing still on ice this time.

Kris felt like they needed a moment to themselves after that one. Now mostly used to skating by themselves, they slipped away from the group silently - something no one questioned, seeing as they were all used to them doing things like that - and slid aimlessly on the ice, deep in thought. What the hell had happened back there?! Why had they felt so… weird, holding onto Berdly like that? It was just Berdly! No reason why they had to note how nicely he fit next to them. No reason for their brain to still be lingering on the presumed feeling of his goddamn wing feathers. None at all.

Belatedly, they realized they'd strayed a little too far from the shore, now standing much closer to the middle of the lake. Maybe it was about time they regrouped - they'd begun to realize that being left alone with their weird mistimed definitely related to their lethargy Berdly thoughts was just worsening the problem. They started skating back towards their friends, when suddenly-

Crack.

They felt the ice under their feet split, and a pit of dread formed in their stomach.

Kris wasn't fast or graceful enough to outpace the cracks that formed under them. Just as they accepted their fate and their legs sank into the freezing cold water, the chill seeping through their body at a much faster pace than it normally would, they heard Susie yell out to them and the unmistakable sound of blades on ice. It was way too fast for it to be Susie, though - she was slower due to her size and lack of experience. Was it…?

They weren't strong enough to confirm their theory. Their grip on the ice weakened as their body grew numb, and slowly, they began to slide further and further into the freezing cold water. The temperature shock was catching up with their weary SOULless self the more they were submerged, and they couldn't prevent their vision from blurring. The last thing they saw before they blacked out for good was a blur of light brown fur sliding on the ice next to them and two hoofed paws pulling them out into the equally cold air.

[…]

It hadn't even been an hour since Kris had been taken back to their house after falling in the lake, and they were already exhibiting symptoms of illness. Susie had done the heavy lifting herself, carrying them the whole way back like it was nothing. She'd pointed out how much they were shivering, even showing a hint of worry and seeming upset that her low body temperature wasn't doing them any favors, before she left with Noelle once Kris had been handed over to their mother.

Berdly had stayed, though.

Truth be told, he couldn't really deny that he was worried, not even to himself. They'd gotten sick so quickly - was this a human thing, or purely a Kris thing? He couldn't be sure anymore. The sound of rushing water coming from the bathroom to his left was the polar opposite of soothing, and unbidden guilt still ate away at him even now. If he hadn't been such an idiot who couldn't skate if his life depended on it, then the ice wouldn't have broken and they wouldn't have…

The door clicked open and Berdly couldn't help but look. His bouncing leg settled ever so slightly when he saw Ms. Toriel walk out, accompanied by a bundle of warm clothes and blankets that vaguely resembled Kris, whom she held close to her with a massive paw. She seemed to be whispering sweetly to her child, taking in their nods of agreement with ones of her own and kissing their forehead affectionately, before her maroon eyes landed on Berdly.

“Berdly?” she called out, a little surprised. “I am sure Kris appreciates your concern, but you do not need to stay here.”

“I…” the bluebird struggled to find the right words. “I don't… Is there something I can do to… compensate…? For…”

“Oh, sweetie, there's no need!” the goat monster cut him off with a wave of her free paw, smiling. “In any case, it was not your fault. Susie let me know of the situation. It was unavoidable.”

“I want to make it up to them, Ms. Toriel.” Berdly tried again, a little more resolute. “Will you allow me?”

Ms. Toriel examined him silently, stroking Kris's shoulder in an absentminded way while they cuddled up to her seemingly on instinct. Eventually, a knowing smile dawned on her face. Berdly's feathers rippled along his body, mildly unnerved. Why did it feel like she knew something he didn't?

“I commend you for your dedication to helping your friend feel better.” she said. “I must warn you, though - Kris behaves differently when they are sick.”

“It won't be a problem.” Berdly insisted. “Surely it's not any harder to deal with than their usual demeanor.”

“Still, they are unpredictable.” Ms. Toriel's smile felt playful now. “You may catch them more verbal than you have heard them in weeks, or silent as a mouse and refusing to communicate their woes. There is one constant, though, as you can see…”

She gestured to the human with her head. Berdly watched the way they balled their fists around their clothes and clung to her, shivering ever so slightly. He could almost hear a little whine coming from them. He felt a pang of pity at their sorry state, before shaking it off. If they knew he'd pitied them, they'd somehow find a way to have his head without it dusting as it split from his body.

“I didn't take them for the clingy type.” he mused.

“They are already quite clingy with me under normal circumstances.” Ms. Toriel giggled. “It simply worsens when they are ill.”

Berdly walked up to Kris hesitantly. Their bleary eyes landed on him, but all they did was blink at him slowly. Sort of like a cat, though definitely free from the connotations of a cat's slow blinking.

“I can see that.” the bluebird murmured.

Ms. Toriel let her arm slip out of Kris's back, prompting a whine that gradually increased into a mildly anguished “Noooooooo…” as her grip loosened. She nodded at Berdly, tipping her head towards her child twice in a hinting manner. The bluebird followed her gaze, then awkwardly spread a wing over the human's back, pulling them to him to conclude the silly transfer that was occurring.

There was one small thing he'd forgotten to consider as he did so, though.

They'd be clinging to him now.

Heat crept through Berdly's body when they bunched up the fabric of his jacket and practically magnetized themselves to the side of his body. Their pitiful whines had stopped after they'd gotten comfortable as well. Was he really that enjoyable to cling to??

“Thank you for staying to look after them.” Ms. Toriel repeated. “I'm sure if they were in a sound state of mind, they would appreciate it.”

“It's certainly no trouble.” he replied quickly, trying his best to ignore the warmth pooling in his cheeks when he felt Kris's cheek on his shoulder. “They're in good hands. Er- wings. You understand.”

The goat monster laughed softly. She handed him a pill bottle, what he presumed were painkillers rattling inside it.

“Tell them to take two of these once you bring them to their room. Force them, if you must.” she instructed in a light, playful tone. “And do not fret if you don't see me here in a few hours or so - I have an errand to run, but I will not be long.”

Berdly nodded diligently, watching Ms. Toriel walk off to sit on Chairiel. She grabbed a book that rested on top of the wooden furniture next to it and flipped it open to where the bookmark was wedged, giving Berdly one last encouraging, motherly glance and nod combo before she began reading.

The bluebird sighed when his brain lifted the block on his senses and he felt a bundle of warmth clinging to him, Kris's presence making itself known to him once again. His SOUL felt weird in his chest with how much it was stuttering, but he pushed through the feeling.

“Come along now, Kristopher.” he tried to maintain his smug superior tone, but it was hard when his rival looked so… pathetic. “Let's get you to your room.”

“Mm… birdbrain?” they mumbled, highly confused. He thought they'd let go of him now that they'd processed who he was, but their grip remained the same.

“Yes. Birdbrain.” Berdly rolled his eyes. “Now make haste.”

Getting Kris up the stairs and into their room was easier than expected. They were a lot more cooperative when sick, simply humming an agreement at whatever he told them to do and allowing him to lead them with no issue. Breaking their hold on his jacket, on the other hand, had proved a little harder. They seemed to really want to cling to him. Did they crave company that badly…?

Still, he prevailed, tucking them into bed as well as he could with the unruly mess of blankets and covers. He scoffed quietly. They were such a slob, weren't they? Not even bothering to make their bed in the morning… how unbecoming. It was a good thing he was there to take care of it for them. Angel knew how uncomfortable they'd be otherwise.

…What in the world was he thinking???

Berdly shook his head, hoping the fluster would dissipate as his mind became lightheaded from the sudden movement. Kris was not worth going full-caretaker mode over. This was a one and done situation - he'd give them their medicine, check their temperature, and stay back to keep an eye on them. Easy as pie.

…Except it wasn't easy. Because not only was Kris clingier when they were sick, they were also much more petulant.

“You must.” Berdly insisted for the umpteenth time, gently grabbing his rival's face with his much too big wings and trying to pry their mouth open. It remained firmly shut, a mm-mm noise of negation rumbling in their throat.

“Take your medication, Kris.”

The same noise, followed by the bluebird's annoyed sigh.

“It's for your own good.”

“Bad taste.”

“I'm aware. But it's crucial for your recovery.”

Nonverbal denial once again, accompanied by a shake of their head.

Berdly closed his eyes and tipped his head back in a groan. He really didn't want to have to resort to this. It was humiliating, but perhaps the easiest solution.

Gently, he let go of their jaw and allowed his wing to caress the side of their face, watching their expression morph into surprise in real time. Their wide eyes flitted over to look at him.

“It'll make you feel better.” he murmured softly.  “You know that, right?”

His rival stared in silence for a while, face beet red in a way that felt partially unrelated to their illness. The only sound that could be heard was their labored breaths.

“…'Kay.” they mumbled, before opening their mouth the slightest amount. They weren't looking at him.

Unwilling to miss this window of opportunity, Berdly quickly slipped the medication into their mouth and handed them a bottle of water by their bedside table to help them swallow it down. Their face scrunched as they drank, likely at the taste, but they didn't stop until they'd drained half the bottle. The bluebird cracked a small smile when their eyes flitted towards him for begrudging approval.

“There you go.” he praised, tone still too soft for his liking. “It wasn't that hard now, was it?”

Kris just grumbled under their breath and laid back down. Berdly took the opportunity to take their temperature via rudimentary methods, brushing their hair out of their forehead and placing a wing against it. It was incredibly warm, as expected. Their fever wouldn't die down for a while.

“You seem stable enough.” he returned to his usual sharper tone. About time. “I'll be around to keep an eye on you until you fall asleep.”

He began pulling his wing away, but before he could, Kris's hand shot out from under the covers and wrapped around it, fingers slipping between his digit feathers in an extremely familiar way. His breath hitched in his throat when he caught the borderline pleading look in their eyes.

They didn't say anything for a while, though. Just… stared, shoulders rising and falling as they breathed heavily. The bluebird didn't attempt to move away, either. He felt rooted to the spot, entranced by their mere gaze. Finally, with a slow blink, they opened their mouth to speak.

“Stay.” they breathed, closer to a whisper.

Berdly felt like his own breath had been stolen from him. Their grip on his wing was light but firm, and they'd squeeze softly once in a while to emphasize their request. For whatever reason, the breezy sound of their voice and the pressure their hold applied on him was making him feel dizzy.

“…I-I was already staying.” he replied dumbly.

The human scoffed, nearly all signs of a plea dissipating from their crimson gaze.

“Here. With me.” they clarified, annoyed. To further get the point across, they shuffled on the bed to make room, keeping their hand twined with his wing all the while.

Berdly swallowed. His rival certainly was persuasive when they wanted to be. Why were they so intent on keeping him this close? He was more than capable of watching over them from farther away! It would be much easier to do so, even. Much safer, too, for multiple reasons.

(So why was he… actually considering their request??)

He almost shook his head in an attempt to get rid of the indulgent - was “indulgent” even the right word? - thoughts that plagued him. It was a stupid decision. He'd get sick. It'd be awkward to explain once the fever delirium cleared. Their warmth would sap the intelligence from him until their presence was all he could think about.

…Yet he complied, far too easily.

The bluebird tugged his wing out of their hold and laid down on the bed in the most awkward way he'd ever done so, slowly slipping under the thick covers while avoiding the clean freak voice in his head that urged him not to do so in his outside clothes. Kris's mattress was a little on the harder side, he thought. The one he used for his nest was much squishier, easier to sink into. He wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to sleep in such a place, but then again, he supposed that was one of the things he and Kris differed on.

Still, he kept to his side, right at the uncomfortable edge of the bed. He wouldn't get close. He didn't have to. Kris was fine the way they were. They just… wanted another's presence in their feverish haze. Nothing more.

Or at least so he thought.

“Hrmm…” his rival made a quiet whimpering noise under their breath. Berdly heard them shift under the covers. “'M cold. C'me closer…”

Berdly could have sworn his SOUL stopped for a second when he felt the tip of Kris's fingers brushing over his wing. He defiantly avoided eye contact, turning his head the other way.

“Huh?” his useless larynx produced an equally useless sound.

Kris approached again, undeterred. The closer they got to him, the easier it was to hear how they heaved as they moved. He felt their shivering when their full hand slid up his wing feathers and raked them against the grain, and it made him shiver as well for a completely different reason.

“Coooooold…” they slurred in a whiny, high-pitched tone very unlike them.

“Wh- H-hands off…!” Berdly's voice didn't sound stern enough for his taste, and his SOUL was too erratic to project any sort of real defiance. “I refuse to let you infest my feathers with your sickness!”

“Awh, but y'r fluffy…” Kris whined. “'N warm…”

At that soft tone, the bluebird immediately lost the battle against his refusal to look, to his absolute dismay. The moment his neck swiveled to face Kris properly, he regretted that decision.

Their face was flushed with the heat from their raging fever, mouth parted as they breathed. Their crimson eyes, hazy and unfocused, seemed to be trying their hardest to remain on his face, and their body convulsed almost unnoticeably with their shivers.

They looked…

…

…It made Berdly feel an emotion he sort of wished he didn't.

With a scoff, he averted his eyes, choosing to stare at the ceiling instead. He was aware of how incredibly dashing he was, but he couldn't allow his gaze to linger. Not when they were so close to him. Not when he was fighting tooth and talon against the urge to allow them even closer.

His voice was meek, pathetic, when he spoke again. “D-don-”

He couldn't even get a sentence out before the covers shifted again and he felt one of Kris's legs sliding over his thighs. To his deep embarrassment, a high-pitched cheep left his mouth and his eyes were immediately forced away from the ceiling, latching onto Kris directly while the rest of their body followed their leg's trajectory.

Why were they climbing on top of him????

The bluebird took a deep breath which shook as it filled his lungs with air, trying his absolute best to stay minimally coherent. This was fine. This was fine. He felt normal about the situation. The racing of his SOUL was unrelated. Kris's weight on his body as they sluggishly yet surprisingly swiftly draped themselves over him didn't intensify the previous feeling. Not at all.

“Alright.” he forced out, with some difficulty. “J-just… do whatever you want. Not like you'll remember it after.”

With a quiet sort of grunt, his rival had crawled right up to his face before long. Their fever-ridden breath wafted over him and fogged up his glasses ever so slightly, but even through the haze, he could still see their slightly narrowed crimson eyes, slow-blinking down at him, brows just the tiniest bit furrowed.

Kris was… really close now. Far too close.

And the bluebird's gaze was drifting.

He valiantly fought to course correct it away from its intended destination, swallowing dryly. They weren't stopping, even now. He could still feel them dragging themselves over his body, their forearms trailing along the side of his torso as they got closer and closer to his face. Their hazy, now half-lidded stare remained on him, no less captivating than it typically was.

It was mesmerizing. He couldn't escape even if he wanted - er, tried - to.

Outside of his control, Berdly's eyes began to lid, thoughts muddying until they became unrecognizable. His breaths grew ragged and the palpitations of his SOUL turned erratic. With the air they softly exhaled wafting over his face, he could almost picture it. Their lips, warm and maybe a little chapped, grazing the tip of his beak, their mouth opening the slightest bit to-

The feeling of something hydraulic pressing his ribcage into the mattress snapped him right out of the daze, catching him so off guard he cheeped in the most embarrassing way possible, though not before exhaling all the air in his body. He looked down to see his rival fully laying on top of him now, arms firmly wrapped around his torso.

Ah.

White-hot shame crept over his chest and spread all around until that particular emotion was all he could feel. What the hell was he imagining just then?! Something as special as that?! With… Kris?? And while they were sick, no less! As if everything else wasn't bad enough already!

Berdly closed his eyes and held his breath needlessly as Kris continued to inch closer and closer. His SOUL sputtered and shook in his chest like an aged car the more of their weight shifted on top of him, and yet the only response he could muster was to go limp and accept that it was happening. He was becoming way too complacent. And look where that got him.

He shouldn't have lingered longer than necessary after he'd tucked them into bed and left medicine on the counter. He shouldn't have allowed their smooth words to convince him to stay. And most importantly, he shouldn't have let them literally crawl all over him, so close he could feel the warmth brought upon by their fever, so close he could hear them breathing.

And all of those horrible decisions decided to come together into one big messy ball of regret when Kris nuzzled deep into his neck with the kind of dreamy sigh only heard in overdramatized romantic comedies and Berdly forgot everything about how to function like a normal person.

He swallowed audibly, hoping his SOUL wasn't pumping magic through his system so viciously Kris was at risk of hearing the stuttery thumps. They could not be this cold, even when faced with such a high fever. There was no situation in which they needed to…

Berdly felt a soft brush of something on his neck, pushing his feathers aside so gently it almost tickled him. His breath hitched at about the same time as he felt a gust of warm air waft over his plumage.

Oh god what the fuck was Kris kissing his neck.

“Pretty…” his rival mumbled, slurring their words so thoroughly in their hushed tone that the bluebird had to strain to hear them. “Y'r pretty…”

He had to make a physical effort to muffle his choked noise of surprise, an effort that became even grander when Kris tilted their head and started kissing up his neck, stopping at the spot right below his beak. What in the world were they doing?! Was this… Was this normal in humans?? Did they all crave warmth this much when they were struck by a fever, or… call the people they clung to-

Berdly nearly physically shook his head. No, no, they- They were imagining someone else! Obviously, they were thinking of another person! They wouldn't call him that! Who would, really?! Frankly, the mere thought was prespostero-

“Berdly…”

The  bluebird's train of thought came to a screeching halt, sending the thoughts within it flying in a jumbled mess. His beak was as dry as his throat felt, every minute noise coming out of it sounding strained and hoarse. He wasn't sure he was taking in enough air. Had the capacity of his lungs decreased at some point??

That… That had to be another coincidence. It had to be. It couldn't mean anything else. If it meant anything else, then he'd…

(…have to confront how much he wanted them to kiss his neck knowingly.)

He screwed his eyes shut so tightly he nearly saw shapes in his obstructed vision. That didn't matter. It didn't. It would never matter, because it would never be real. Why care about something he wouldn't ever need to consider? He'd just be wasting his brainpower on useless things. No matter how enticing they were to think about.

“Pretty bird…” Kris giggled under their breath. “Hehe… Pretty n' soft bird…”

Berdly couldn't muffle the dismayed, almost disgustingly needy whimper that came out of him when Kris resumed their barrage of feather-light pecks. They were aiming to kill him, he was sure of it. Already, he felt so dizzy at the contact and his rival's warm breaths he could almost fucking explode. There was no way remaining in this situation would be healthy for him.

And yet he stayed. Because he was weak. He couldn't stand to be away from such a wonderful sensation, even if fleeting. He didn't have the self-respect or general restraint necessary to tear himself away from Kris's embrace. The idea of being cared for was always strong enough to entice.

(As much as it pained him to know that it was purely the result of fever delirium.)

“You're delirious.” he told them as much in a hushed tone, ignoring how badly his voice wavered.

“Mm… 'N you're cute.” Kris replied smugly.

“I'm not.” he tried, but his rival hadn't put their onslaught on hold and he could feel his brain melting right out of his earholes.

“Stupid, too.” Berdly felt the human's cheeky smile on his neck when they kissed below his beak. Their arms tightened around his torso.

Berdly couldn't do much but let out a shaky sigh, making Kris giggle in that unfortunately incredibly cute way again. The exhale was cut off prematurely at the somewhat ticklish sensation of his rival nuzzling into his neck.

“Wh-why are you… doing this?” he whispered. He didn't know whether to hope his voice sounded stern or not.

“Wondered what it'd feel like.” Kris replied in a lazy slur, speaking the words right into the bluebird's skin. “Feels good.”

“You're delirious.” Berdly repeated, somehow shakier than last time. Angel above, what were they doing to him?

Kris snickered like a raccoon, the most characteristic behavior they'd had since he'd tucked them into bed.

“Drunk man's thoughts 'r sober man's words.” they crooned.

(Berdly neglected to tell them they'd switched the saying around.)

“You're not drunk.” he deadpanned. “Or a man.”

“Sure I'm drunk.” they giggled, again. Why were they giggling so much? It was nothing like them. Not to mention Berdly's SOUL wasn't equipped to handle it. “Drunk on youuuuuuu~”

“That barely makes any cohesive sense.”

“Mrh, y'd be cuter if y' dropped the nerd speak more often.”

“Good thing I'm not cute.”

“Wrong.” Kris wrenched a hand from under Berdly's back to force his beak closed, pinching it with their fingers. “Self-slander. Shut.”

Before he could attempt to protest, they let go of him spontaneously, dropping their head down on his chest. Instead of slowing down to hide his clear fluster, Berdly's SOUL began hammering harder than ever at the feeling of them resting soundly on top of him. Perhaps… too soundly. Did they…?

…Ah. They'd fallen asleep at long last.

…Right on top of him.

Berdly sighed. This was going to be a long day.

[…]

Kris awoke to the lingering memory of a cozy dream, still warm but much less feverish. Their hazy senses hadn't yet processed their surroundings, their brain too jetlagged to allow them to be fully aware. All that they knew was that they were comfortable. Very comfortable.

They were huddled up to a pillow, maybe. They didn't care about the specifics. It must have absorbed their limited body heat, too, because it was warm and pliable under them. With a lazy smile growing on their face, they nuzzled further into it, relishing in the softness hidden away beneath the pillowcase and letting their weight smother it further.

…Wait.

Why was their pillow rising and falling like that?

Unnerved, Kris finally opened their eyes. The bleary greenish-yellow gaze that met theirs would have been enough to fully stop their SOUL on the spot, if it had still been tethered to them.

Still, their body instantly went into fight or flight mode. With an extremely embarrassing squeak of alarm, the human gathered all of their limited energy and jumped out of Berdly's loose embrace like a startled cat, face burning hot with shame and something else. Not that the nerd looked any better, equally as flushed and making a noise that was only slightly less embarrassing than the squeak that had been pulled out of Kris.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?!” they screeched, strained and high-pitched in a way decidedly unlike them.

Berdly scampered out of the bed in record time, brushing nonexistent dust out of his clothes almost obsessively. The cobalt blue hue in his face was darkening as he did so. It wouldn't be long before it spread to his neck.

“Why are you yelling at me?!” he shot back, just as strained. His feathers were mussed from sleep, and they only got worse when he fluffed them up further in a somewhat defensive manner.

“Because you were laying in my bed with me!” Kris emphasized, bringing a hand up to massage their temple. This was giving them a headache already.

(Their eyes instinctively flicked towards the birdcage south of their bed. Still covered up. At least that.)

“As if I had a say!” the bluebird scoffed. “It's your fault I was trapped here with you!”

“What's that supposed to mean?!”

He didn't reply, at least not at first. Instead, he made a series of miscellaneous noises as his face darkened, gesturing wildly with his wings in an attempt to express whatever it was he wanted to say.

“You cuddled up to me, you- you weirdo!” he finally squawked.

Kris's mind blanked until they were hyperaware of their blood rushing in their veins. They didn't know whether to pull their own hair out or take a leap and physically fistfight him. There was no way in hell. In no way had they… c-cuddled up to Berdly in their feverish state because that was absolutely ridiculous and made no sense whatsoever and-

“You're lying.” they blurted out bluntly, tense like they were trying to convince themselves of their words. “You're lying.”

Berdly groaned dismally. “Why would I lie about something as embarrassing as this??”

“I bet you cuddled up to me while I was drowsy.” Kris snapped, pacing towards him menacingly. “You're touch-starved enough for that.”

Berdly visibly swallowed when they approached him, but to their surprise, he stood his ground, even as his pupils shrank. His eyes narrowed into a glare.

“Oh, please.” he sneered. “You begged me to stay with you in your feverish haze.”

A shiver ran up Kris's spine, synapses firing. All of a sudden, memories of their delirious stupor flooded their brain. They remembered being carried home by someone more capable. They remembered the bitter taste of the painkillers followed by the sweetness of the soft yet scratchy words of encouragement that accompanied it.

(They remembered craving the feeling of his wing checking their temperature more than they should.)

“And what does that say about you?” they managed, even as their voice felt like it was failing them. “I - allegedly - begged you to stay. Why did you?”

Finally, Berdly took a step back, seeming somewhat intimidated. His eyes flicked down for a split second before he shook himself off.

“W-well, I-” he stammered, somehow already riddled with voice cracks. “You had an iron grip on my wing and you wouldn't-”

“Face it.” Kris cut him off as soon as he started making excuses. “You're at fault here.”

“A-am not!” Berdly puffed up. “If anything, this whole thing is your fault for b-being so… careless… with…”

He trailed off when Kris took a step forward to close the gap between the bluebird and themselves. Then another. He kept stepping back in turn, eyes fixed on them in a glare and feathers fluffed upwards, vehemently refusing to let up, but his bravado faltered once his back hit the wall and a tiny little cheep bubbled out of him. His face tilted to the side as he broke eye contact, and his inability to face them made satisfaction course through their veins.

And to their horror, Kris lessened the gap even further by taking an unnecessary extra step and slamming an open palm on the wall next to the side of his neck.

They didn't know why they even considered doing that. The fever must still be messing with their cognitive abilities. But something about the antsy expression painted on his face, the hitched breath that followed the slam, his fluffed feathers and darkened cheeks… it had their breathing growing heavier and their free hand twitching with the urge to reach out and force him to look at them properly.

(The fever really was doing a number on them. That and their useless empty husk of a body.)

“You wanted to hold me, didn't you?” Kris whispered through gritted teeth, almost maliciously.

“I…” Berdly tried to reply, to say anything at all, but his feeble attempts at conversation scattered in the air.

Suddenly, he briskly shoved them away, loudly sucking in a breath. They stumbled with the force, nearly tipping back before a wing balled around their sweater just long enough to steady them again.

“I've overstayed my welcome.” he declared, a little shaky. “I'll take my leave now.”

Kris didn't stop him when he sidestepped out of their way and walked past them, talons thumping noiselessly against the carpeted floor. His pace was hurried. There was little room for conversation in the way he seemed to want to escape the situation as quickly as possible.

They still tried, though.

“Wait.” their voice was meeker than they'd hoped.

Berdly stopped in his tracks like he'd been wrangled back. Slowly, he swiveled his neck two thirds of the way back to face them, round eyes only emphasizing the color of his irises and how they mingled with the late afternoon sun to paint the perfect picture of a summer picnic.

Kris's throat went dry. Since when was his gaze so… hypnotic?

“Um.” they choked out when they remembered they'd been the one to prompt him to turn back. They'd completely forgotten what they intended to say. “Let me see you out.”

Berdly's face fell the slightest amount. Kris would have taken a moment to wonder when exactly they began paying so much attention to the minimal shifts in his demeanor, if they weren't so preoccupied with trying to find the reason why.

“Alright.” he replied, just as softly as they'd called him out.

And so they accompanied him outside. It was a short walk, and their attempts at prolonging it had fallen flat. Berdly seemed vehemently against them actually leaving their house and walking him home for his troubles, even when they piled on winter coat after winter coat to convince him they'd be properly snug. Damn his unnecessary fretting. He sounded like a worried housewife.

(The thought put a smile on their face. It didn't feel as tied to their amusement as it should.)

“Don't forget to take your medication in two hours sharp, do you hear me, Dreemurr?” he swiveled his neck back to remind them as they playfully pushed him away from the porch.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kris just rolled their eyes good-humoredly. “Stop naggin' me. I'll be fine.”

Berdly took a large step forward for the purpose of moving away from their hold, then turned back in a flash and grabbed the human's wrists with his wings, grinning smugly. For an unfamiliar and unwelcome reason, Kris's stomach fluttered at the point of contact, the sensation tingling like a static shock.

“Only if you stop pushing me.” he shot back. “You won't be ridding yourself of moi that easily!”

He let go soon enough - maybe too soon, the fever-rotted side of their brain insisted - and actually turned back to leave with what they'd come to call a “goodbye chirp” and a smooth wave of his wing. They could see his tail flicking up and down rhythmically as he walked away, checking behind him once or twice as if he couldn't be sure Kris wasn't following after him.

Absentmindedly, Kris put a hand up to their empty chest. The feeling they'd experienced when they pushed him up against the wall of their bedroom came back full-force, spreading through them like the Bubonic plague and almost making them feel sicker with the dextrose it filled them with. Their breaths turned labored. Their eyes glued themselves to the light blue silhouette of their nerdy friend, gradually becoming smaller.

(They could recognize that feeling now.)

(They'd wanted to pull him in before he got too far away.)

Kris's SOUL skipped an errant beat. Butterflies flooded their stomach uncontrollably until they couldn't feel anything but the remainder of the sensation of coming into contact with Berdly's feathers, soft as silk and inviting in an almost magnetic way.

Oh.

That… hm.

…Well, maybe that was something they could put off thinking about for the time being. They were still technically in public, after all, even if Berdly was nothing but a fluffy blue dot at the end of the street by now and there was no one else around to witness their internal freakout. They had to be in the safety of their own home before they allowed themselves to properly lose their shit over having a crush on Berdly.

…Berdly????? Really????

Kris moved the hand on their chest up to their cheek, flinching at the scorching heat they knew damn well wasn't just there due to their fever. Their body yearned for the comfort that cuddling up to him brought the more they allowed themselves to reminisce about it.

This sucked.