Chapter Text
Varka has been crushing on Nicole ever since first seeing her back on Hiisi Island. Her luscious blonde hair, her crystal blue eyes and her sweet smile remained carved in his memory. Despite being mute, Nicole had the ability to talk telepathically. Her sweet voice and gentle demeanour was what made him fall in love with her in the first place. Even when he felt sick during the kuuvakhi infusion, Nicole was there, trying to apologize to him almost immidiately.
He thought he’d never see her again after everything that happened back in Nod-Krai. What he didn’t expect was to find her roaming the busy streets of Mondstandt, while taking a stroll around town like he always does. Of course she would be here, how could he forget, she was a part of the Hexenzirkle, she probably visits Alice all the time!
At the moment she was having a chat with the Traveler and his trusty companion Paimon in front of Good Hunter. He watched her as Paimon made something that made her laugh, heat rising to his ears as he heard her cute laugh.
Quickly, he hid himself behind a nearby building as not to be seen by the group and especially her, contemplating his next move.
He remembered the advice Kaeya once told him about rizzing girls. He always said that girls always fold when you show them you can speak different languages. Did he believe him though? Of course! Kaeya had all sorts of women crushing on him, so his advice must have been true.
There was one small, tiny, teensy problem….Varka is not bilingual! He knows languages the same way he knows the Genshin lore! So how could he try to rizz up Nicole?
He then remembered that the angel enjoyed teaching everyone, especially the proud lore skipper, about all types of matters. Varka grinned to himself, a passerby giving him the side eye. The plan was simple: go up to her and request her assistance. Really simple right?
‘She would for sure fall for me this way. Oh my Archons Varka, you’re a genius!’ he thought to himself.
He took a quick look back to see if they remained on the same location. Luckily they hadn’t moved. Nicole sat at one of the tables while Paimon and Aether ordered some food.
Varka’s cheeks felt warm. He took a deep breath and approached his beautiful maiden.
He cleared his throat to get her attention. “Ah mister Varka, it’s lovely seeing you here.” She said in response. “Me, the Traveler and Paimon are getting a quick snack. Would you like to join us?”
It’s been a while since he heard her voice, yet it felt like music to his ears. He stood there frozen, a stupid grin plastered on his face. Paimon and Aether had just made their way back at the table and noticed the Grandmaster towering the mage. They gave each other a weird look as if the other knew what was going on.
“Are they communicating telepathically?” the floating emergency food asked
“I don’t know what the fuck they are doing” Aether shrugged
Nicole looked back at her two companions, seeking for advice, then back at the frozen man in front of her. “Mister Varka, is everything alright?”
Varka shook his head to pull himself out of the trance he was in. With a simple scratch of his neck he replied. “Yeah sorry, kinda spaced out”
“In front of Nicole?!” the flying marshmallow screeched.
“So what brings you here today, Kight of Boreas?”
“Uhhh” Varka hesitated, forgetting completely whatever he was about to say
“Are you just gonna stand there and-“
“I-I don’t speak German, but I can if you’d like” he blurted out. His fingers in a gun position and his stupid ass grin couldn’t hide how cringe he just felt.
Aether couldn’t help himself from snickering, because he too was dying from Varka’s cringe wording.
Nicole looked confused while Paimon gave him a disgusted look.
“But Varka you ARE German!!!” Paimon exclaimed.
At that moment the realization of his words hit his head. Out of all the languages in Teyvat, his dumb ass decided to say his native one. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Anyways, I must head back to headquarters, they uhhh- I have some paperwork to work on.”
“I thought Jean was in charge of that”
“Like I SAID I have some paperwork to sign” He shot Paimon a look. “I’ll see you three around. Ich muss sagen, du siehst heute umwerfend aus, Nicole!“ Varka shouted the last part while running way.
“How nice of him to come greet us. Not sure what the last part was, but he was being such a cutie!” the mage said, cupping her cheeks and blushing lightly
Aether started fucking dying and gasping for air with how much he was lauging at this exchange.
“Yeah they deserve each other. They both dumb as fuck when it comes to flirting”
Kaeya had just came back from his break time. As he was passing in the hallway, he noticed tow people in the Grandmaster’s office. Taking a sneak peak though the crack of the slightly open door, he saw Jean, a horrified look on her face, and the Grandmaster next to her.....banging his head on the wall?!
The calvary captain slipped in unnoticed. “Uhhhhh. Jean what is happening?”
“Does it look like I know? I just came in to hand him some of the papers I finished and found him like this”
“How did I fumble so bad?” Varka cried out
“Huh??” The other two captains look mortified at each other. What was their boss even talking about?
“Alright sir, let’s first get you seated down before you break both the wall and your head”
Finally getting Varka to sit in his chair, Jean tended to his giant ass forehead wound with the help of her anemo vision.
“Ok sir, now can you please explain to us what THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?”
“I tried following Kaeya’s advice on how to pick up women and it went horribly” he cried out
“Ohoho. Didn’t know our Grandmaster was smitten over some woman.” Kaeya teased.
“You serious?” Jean gave the man a disappointed look.
“I fumbled so bad, I had zero rizz and she probably thinks I’m a weirdo!”
“Where did you even learn that vocabulary?!” Jean yelled in disgust, she never heard Varka speak that way and never wants to hear it again
“Oh, the kiddos taught me some slang words.”