Fatuous

Gibbs couldn’t wait for Dr. Cranston to leave. He needed a moment alone with Tony and his fatuous decisions. Hadn’t Tony learned after the undercover op Jenny had him do that doing undercover ops that haven’t been approved by Gibbs was a bad idea? He couldn’t wait to give Tony a piece of his mind and demand to know why he’d made this inane choice.

Though with Tony losing his memory of what had happened and what was going on, he’d better wait to yell at him until he’d regained his memory. In the meantime, he would remind Tony that as much as it may sometimes seem like he didn’t support him, he truly was there for him and would help him see this through. No matter what direction it ended up taking.

Finally Tony regained most of his memory, but it only left more questions and Gibbs couldn’t help wondering how deep the rot was in NCIS. They needed to get to the bottom of this, but first Gibbs pulled Tony aside. “Steaks. My place. We need to have a serious discussion.”

He sent everyone home. Until they found out more, there wasn’t anything that could be done about the corruption up top anyway. He beat DiNozzo to his place and started cooking the steaks over the fire. He didn’t bother with vegetables. He only had vegetables in the house if Ducky had been around recently.

When Tony arrived, he pulled out the steaks and served them. He sat stiffer than normal, not being able to let himself relax from worry about what was going on in Tony’s mind and why he took on this undercover op.

Tony noticed Gibbs tension and tensed himself. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes.” Gibbs exploded. “Why didn’t you tell me about the op? Hell why didn’t you tell them to shove it up their asses? You know I’d have backed you if you did so and if they didn’t like it then they could have taken it up with me.”

““You expected me to tell you?” Tony yelled back defensively. “Have you paid any attention to how you’ve treated me since you got back? "

"Where did throwing my stuff onto my desk after I kept your precious team together say you still trust me? Where did praising Ziva and McGee say that I'm still an important part of this team and you trust me? And if you don’t trust me anymore why would you expect me to still trust you?” Tony demanded hotly.

Gibbs shook his head sadly now realizing where and just how far he’d gone wrong. In his attempts to protect Tony, he’d instead hurt him. “Tony.” He paused for emphasis, knowing that it was time for some home truths before he lost Tony for good, whether through death or just to another job.

“I’ve always been harder on you than on the others. The reason is threefold. One, I knew you could take it. Two, you have always had more potential than anyone else and three, I never wanted anyone to think I’d gone easy on you because of my feelings for you.” Gibbs sighed softly, more serious than he’d ever been before.

Tony reeled. Gibbs actually thought he was worthwhile? “Really? I have more potential than McGee and Ziva?”

“Yes.” Gibbs smiled gently, knowing he had to fix this now and that he wouldn’t get a second chance to do so.

“Then why have you been encouraging them in insubordination against me? You know tossing my things on my desk only made them think that I really wasn’t capable of leading the team, right? And reinforced all their beliefs that I was worthless and just a joke?” Tony's face fell at the thought of the way he'd been treated.

Gibbs wanted to reach out and comfort Tony, but wasn't sure the gesture would be appreciated. Instead, he tried to explain why. “I’ve always been a bastard and sometimes that side gets the best of me even when it shouldn’t."

"Honestly, If McGee and Ziva were half the agent you were there would be no chance they would think you are a joke. Unfortunately, I can’t get rid of Ziva just yet because of her familial ties and McGee may as well be Vance’s porn star child the way Vance treats him like he’s gold.” Gibbs grumbled under his breath at the thought, before offering a bit hopefully. “However, together if you’d like we can make their lives miserable for the way they treated you and teach them to respect you at the same time.”

“I don’t trust either of them anymore. Something has to change. I can't be hyper-vigilant all the time expecting one of them to turn on me. Eventually, me or someone else will be killed because of it. Maybe, it really would be best if we could replace them with people who are actually trustworthy and don’t turn their backs on their partners." Tony admitted more honest than he has been with Gibbs in a long time. Though he'd never expected to say something like that even just to Gibbs as it went against his grain to not back a team member no matter how they treated you.

Gibbs nodded in understanding. “Here’s what we do…”

After discussing plans for a couple of hours on how they’d make changes to the team, Tony returned home while Gibbs sat in his dark living room, all alone thinking about how he’d almost lost Tony for good. That bullet he’d taken a few days ago could have actually killed him and if it hadn’t, the fake FBI agent sure tried to finish him off.