Chapter Text
Juntae placed the last of his belongings, a handful of pens in a blue holder, onto the study desk of his new dorm. Exhausted from staying on his feet for so long, he fell onto the bed and took in the result of his unpacking. His scant items barely filled the room, its plain walls still retaining its non-specificity, just with small accents of Juntae’s personality. A powder-blue comforter. An abridged collection of his manga. A short stack of notebooks—Juntae wasn’t even sure he’d use them, but he got them just in case.
It wasn’t a big problem. He saw the blank walls as an opportunity; he planned to fill the room with whatever keepsakes he earned throughout the year.
He texted a quick question to Sieun and started scrolling mindlessly as he waited for his reply. A few minutes later, Sieun was standing outside his ajar door.
“I’m done unpacking. Let’s get dinner,” he said, answering verbally to Juntae’s message.
Sieun didn’t wait for Juntae to get up. He turned and started down the hallway. Juntae bounded off the bed and followed enthusiastically.
Being a university student didn’t feel all that different from being in high school. At the same time, they were nothing alike. Ever since he hugged goodbye to his family that morning, Juntae was never quite sure he was doing things right. Every way he looked were university students—adults. He knew that, on the outside, he was the same, but, internally, he still had a lot of growing up to do.
Sieun shuffled into the growing line in the cafeteria. Juntae stood beside him.
Amongst the crowds of first-years filtering around the plastic tables and wooden chairs, at least there was one familiar presence.
They took their food and found empty seats near the entrance of the canteen. Sieun ignored the expectant glances from the people sitting on the other end of the table and Juntae followed his lead. They talked about many things—their schedule, the number of units they were taking, what their former classmates might be up to. As most of their conversations go, it was mostly Juntae rambling, adding details Sieun didn’t really ask for but accepted with a tacit nod of his head and occasional input.
“But, it’s weird to be surrounded by so many people we don’t know. Like, do you think we’ll be able to make friends? I’ve heard Biomed students can be pretty unsociable. Or maybe we could join a club? This school has so many clubs. I don’t know where to start. I wish we had time to visit all the stalls and orientation things today but I guess we could go tomorrow—“
“Juntae-yah.” Sieun interrupted Juntae’s rambling. “Suho’s team is playing tonight. To advertise the basketball club. Do you want to go?”
Ahn Suho. Their sunbae from high school and, now, university. Sieun’s other-half, boyfriend, soulmate, however you wanted to describe them.
Juntae swallowed his food. “Sure!” he nodded. “It’s not like I have anything else planned.”
Suho was a good guy. He was charismatic; it would be hard to find someone at their high school who wasn’t taken by him. Teachers and students alike. He never sat still, running between whichever sport caught his attention at any given point. Juntae wasn’t surprised that he had joined the basketball club.
Sieun didn’t say anything in response, just went back to chewing his food. Juntae still caught his subtle smile. Only Suho (or the thought of him) could spur that expression in Sieun’s face. It was only a slight contraction of the muscles in his cheeks, small enough that most would dismiss it, but it spoke to emotions that existed in a place Juntae had never experienced. Love. Unconditional. Exclusive. Unwavering.
He had heard what people had to say about love. Love made you stupid. Love made you crazy and obsessive and frustrated until you couldn’t take it anymore. And yet, humans couldn’t help but love.
It scared him. That you could feel something so strong towards someone that it made you unlike yourself. Juntae already wasn’t the most sensible. Silly boy, his mother always called him. The idea that he might meet someone who would destroy his ability to reason was kind of terrifying.
And, yet, he desperately wanted to love.
By the time they were walking back to the dorm, the sun had started setting and the lights of the campus flickered on. Sieun went to go change (“Hyung says I have to wear school colours”) so Juntae waited downstairs. He still felt a little sticky with sweat from all the moving around earlier but he didn’t see any point of changing out of his old t-shirt and jeans .
He took in the corner of the university he could see, the scenery morphing into something new as the colour of the sky changed. As the world darkened, the warm lights—the windows peeping into classrooms, the tall lampposts, the electric signage—shone like flames illuminating what would have been lost to the night. It was all so foreign but soon, this view would become familiar. Home. This was one of the few moments he could appreciate its beauty in its novelty.
Sieun came out wearing practically the same outfit, just with a deep blue sweater thrown on top. The basketball court wasn’t very far, but the pair lost their way several times, confused by the campus’ impossible scale and never-ending number of identical cobblestone paths.
By the time they walked past the blue banners advertising ‘Welcome Week Basketball Friendly’ into the sports’ hall, the crowd already filled the stands. Juntae marvelled at the way students filled the seats from front to back. The excited chatter of the crowd shook throughout the court, drumming up an unusual sense of adrenaline in his heart.
They found two seats, squeezing past the knees of those already seated. Sieun fit right in; the crowd was an almost-unbroken panel of blue.
The noise bouncing around the stadium surged. Juntae looked down to the court and saw the players filing in through the door. He saw Suho right away—first in line, he jogged onto the court with his arms stretched wide, riling the audience with a smile. He came to a stop, scanning the audience. He found Sieun and sent him a flying kiss. Juntae laughed as Sieun rolled his eyes.
As more members appeared on the court, some people in the audience stood up, yelling the names of their friends and cheering. By the enthusiasm in the stands, one would think they were watching an NBA final.
The club split in half—blue jerseys and white jerseys—and started arranging themselves on the court. The game wouldn’t start for a few more minutes. Juntae took the time to admire the beauty in front of him.
Juntae knew he was gay. He had known for a very long time. It was never a surprise to him; he never struggled with it.
Muscles. Height. Rigidity. Men. He knew what he liked.
He especially liked athletic, confident, built and tall men.
This club seemed to be full of them. Juntae wondered if their tryouts were just modelling auditions. Or, bodybuilding contests. One of them looked like he could throw Juntae around like a rag doll. Though, the super-bulky ones weren’t his type. His eyes flitted amongst them all. Someone like Number 5 looked more like his ideal build. Big, but not excessive.
The game started and the crowd erupted. The audience moved as one, reacting to every movement on the court. In the end, it all translated to a lot of screaming.
Juntae couldn’t really follow what was going on on the court. He could pretty much only tell who had the ball and what the score was at any given time. To be fair, he was a little distracted.
Juntae’s attention kept being captured by a single player. Number 5. Broad shoulders. Built arms. Dark hair with a slight wave that fell slightly below his eyebrows. His facial features weren’t exactly clear from where he was sitting but Juntae could tell. He could tell by his mannerisms, the way he held himself, the way he studied the court.
Number 5 was so his type.
Juntae knew nothing about basketball. He never really cared for the sport—or any for that matter. But, the way he was watching this game, with wide eyes and undivided attention, you’d think he was a fucking fanatic. Whenever Number 5 had the chance, he would push his hair back off his forehead, his tongue jutting out to lick his lips.
That movement did something to Juntae he was ashamed to admit.
The game thundered on and Juntae felt himself sucked into the fervour of it all. He clapped when the blue team—Number 5’s team—scored a point. He sighed when the ball was stolen from them.
The buzzer sounded and the match was over. 70:65 to the blue team.
Juntae exclaimed, “They won!”
Sieun smirked slightly. “Suho played well.”
Oh yeah. Juntae found Suho retreating to the bench and noted his blue jersey. Suho was on that team too.
Juntae hadn’t even noticed. His eyes rarely strayed from Number 5 the entire game.
Suho waved at them from the court, beckoning them down. They weaved against the waves of people heading out, down the stands until they reached the court.
Suho jogged towards them, one of his teammates trailing behind him.
He hugged Sieun tightly. “Baby, you’re here!”
His smile didn’t waver as Sieun pushed him away. “You’re so sweaty.”
“Hi Juntae,” he said with a wave. Juntae waved back. “Did you guys enjoy the game?”
They both nodded—Juntae spiritedly, Sieun listlessly. Suho rested his arm around Sieun’s shoulders (Sieun didn’t push him away this time).
“You guys should meet Baku! He’s our captain.”
The man behind Suho grinned, bowing his head of bright red hair slightly. “I’m Park Humin. Everyone calls me Baku.”
“Hello! Nice to meet you, Baku.”
“Hello.”
“This is Seo Juntae, he went to my high school as well. And, you’ve already heard about Sieun.”
“Juntae! And, Sieun! Suho’s told me so much about you.”
“Please don’t listen to what he says.”
Baku laughed. “I don’t know, I think what he told me is lining up pretty well so far. Are you excited for first year? I remember my first year—“
Juntae looked past Baku to the bench. A group of girls surrounded Number 5 as he drunk his water, smiling and nodding at whatever they were saying. Juntae finally got to admire his features up close. Straight nose. Cat-like eyes. Full lips. Thick neck with an Adam’s apple that jutted out. Juntae swallowed.
Yeah. Number 5 was his type.
Number 5 pulled his jersey up to wipe his face, exposing his abs glazed with sweat. All the words Baku and Suho were saying to him fizzed out into static.
“—you guys should meet Gotak. He’s first-year as well.” Suho called out to the bench. “Gotak!”
Number 5 looked up at the noise. Their gazes met and Juntae’s heart jumped to his throat.
What really startled him was that Number 5 didn’t look away. Number 5 tilted his head in confusion, his eyes narrowing before widening as a smile lit up his face.
Now it was Juntae’s turn to be confused. Number 5 slipped away from the people he was talking with an apologetic nod. He rushed over to their group and stopped in front of Juntae.
“Jun? Seo Juntae?”
Juntae’s head was spinning. Suho looked between the two with amusement.
“What the hell? You guys already know each other?”
Juntae still wasn’t sure what was going on. “Sorry,” he stammered, “who…?”
“It’s me!” Number 5 pointed emphatically at his face. “Go Hyuntak!”
Juntae took a moment. Then, recognition flooded his mind. “Tak-ah?!”
It was hard for Juntae to match the image in his mind of Go Hyuntak—a round face, wide eyed boy who came just up to Juntae’s shoulders—to the man who was standing in front of him now.
Go Hyuntak had broad shoulders, thick arms, and a fucking handsome face. Plus, he was tall—nearly a head taller than Juntae. He didn’t notice before, since all the players on the court were the same size. He had to tilt his head up to talk to him.
Some things stayed the same, like his large excited eyes and lopsided grin.
“What, you didn’t recognise me?” Hyuntak knocked Juntae’s chin playfully.
“Tak-ah,” he choked. “You look so… different.”
Hyuntak grinned. “I’ve been working out.” I can tell, Juntae thought. “I recognised you instantly.” Hyuntak looked him up and down. “You’re just as cute as in middle school.”
Juntae self-consciously gripped the hem of his faded t-shirt. He suddenly wished he wasn’t wearing such a dreary outfit.
“You guys went to the same middle school?” Baku asked.
“Yep. But, this one—“ Hyuntak ruffled Juntae’s hair lightly “—moved away in high school.”
His mind knew logically that this was Go Hyuntak, his childhood best friend, but to his heart, it seemed like some random hot guy was touching his head. It was strange. Juntae’s cheeks burned.
Another player came up behind Suho and placed firm hands on his shoulders. “We gotta go back. Coach is calling.”
“Ok, we’re coming.” Suho turned back to Sieun and Juntae. “Wait for me, yeah? I’ll walk with you guys back to the dorm.”
The guy pulled Suho away by the shoulders and Baku followed after them. “Nice meeting you guys!”
Hyuntak lingered, staring at Juntae with a wide grin.
Hyuntak’s eyes bored into him. Juntae couldn’t handle it; he averted his gaze to the side. “Um, Tak— you won’t follow them?”
“I just can’t believe you’re here.” Hyuntak responded by pinching Juntae’s cheek—an old habit that made a lot more sense when they were 10. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”
His hands moved to petting his hair—another childhood habit—as he continued to stare in fascination. Juntae must have looked like the textbook-definition of flustered—face flushed, eyes darting, and hands failing, batting away Hyuntak’s touch.
“Tak-ah, stop. We’re not kids anymore.”
His reaction only amused Hyuntak further. He ruffled Juntae’s hair one last time. “Ok. Ok. I’m going now. I’ll see you later, Jun. It was good to see you.”
Juntae just waved listlessly as he got his things from the bench and jogged after his departing team out of the court.
“Wow, what a coincidence,” Sieun noted. “Good for you.”
Juntae blinked at him. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“That’s one less friend you have to worry about making here, isn’t it?”
The difference between Juntae’s and Sieun’s attitudes towards Orientation events truly mirrored the differences in their personalities. To begin with, Juntae had to practically drag Sieun out of his dorm in the morning—”Classes haven’t started yet, why do I need to be on campus??”—and, once they got to all the club stalls, he refused to look at any clubs that weren’t academics-related—”Recreational co-curriculars are a waste of time.”
Juntae, on the hand, busied himself flitting between whichever clubs caught his attention the most, and his canvas tote-bag gradually filled with various free gifts he looted from the stalls.
As they continued down the lane, their path was blocked by a small crowd mushrooming off a stall into the walkway. The throngs of people blocked the club’s banner. Juntae peered through the gaps in the crowd and could only barely make out what everyone was coveting.
“Sieun! They have free food! I saw brownies,” Juntae exclaimed.
They joined the crowd and eventually made it to the front. Juntae could now see they had othe desserts—cupcakes, cookies and banana bread. Juntae pointed to the brownies.
“Excuse me. Are these free?”
“Yep!” One of the girls behind the stalls nodded. “Take any you want.”
“Thank you so much!” Juntae took a brownie and Sieun got a cookie.
The girl watch them pick their food with a grin. “Do you guys like baking?”
Sieun shook his head. “I’m terrible at cooking.”
The girl gave a polite giggle. She looked at Juntae. “And, you?”
Juntae took a bite of the brownie. “I bake sometimes. I’m not very good either,” he admitted.
“You know, our club is mostly beginners! Here, look.” She opened a brochure from a stack on the table. “We have baking classes every week, so by the end of the semester, you’ll know a dozen recipes! And, we do other events too so it’s great for making friends.”
The Baking Club, for bakers and sweet-lovers alike, according to their slogan.
“Here, take one.” She extended a brochure to the both of them. “I’m Lee Hyewon. I’ve been in the club for 2 years and seriously, joining in first year was the best decision I made. Trust me.”
Juntae looked through the brochure. Photos of university students smiling brightly adorned its pastel pages, along with a variety of delicious-looking pastries and fluffy cakes.
“Just think about it. If you want to join, scan the QR code on the back. Our first event is next week!”
Juntae smiled and nodded. “Ok! Thank you, sunbae!”
They stepped away from the stall and squeezed through the crowd to continue exploring the stalls.
“The Baking Club looks cool! And, that sunbae, Hyewon, she’s so nice!”
“Mhm, she was nice,” Sieun replied. He nodded to the pamphlet. “You should join, Juntae. It seems like your thing.”
Juntae beamed and examined the brochure once again. “’Weekly events…’ Sieun, you should join with me! It’ll be good way to get out every week.”
Sieun tightened his lips into grimace. “I’m okay.”
“Come on, Sieun-ah! You should find a club to join for fun! At least try.”
Sieun looked around at the stalls surrounding them on either side. “There aren’t any I’m interested in. Why are there so many sport clubs? How many people are doing rock-climbing?”
“A sports club could be fun! Like, a social way to get exercise.” Juntae looked over at Sieun for approval. “Right, Sieun?”
“Mhm.” Sieun’s gaze caught on a stall to the right and his steps slowed. “Ah. It’s the basketball club.”
Juntae followed his gaze and saw a stall brimming with energy. The freshman were being enticed to play on a basketball arcade machine the club had set up; the club members cheered the participants on, hollering for every shot made and yelling encouragement for every one missed.
“Hey, isn’t that your friend?” Sieun asked, pointing to one of the club members. “Go Hyuntak?”
Juntae’s mouth went dry. Hyuntak handed out information pamphlets with a charming smile, looking like a poster board for college athletes.
Sieun had already started for the stall. Juntae could only follow after him, frantically trying to calm his racing heart.
This was his second time seeing Hyuntak in over three years but it was just as shocking as the first. His casual outfit was a step away from his jersey and shorts, giving Juntae another visual to update his image of Hyuntak in his head.
Hyuntak didn’t spot him immediately but, when he did, his smile grew even warmer. “Jun!”
Juntae looked to Sieun for support but he had already rushed to Suho, who was standing further back under the stall’s tarp. With no other choice, he took a deep breath as he approached his childhood friend.
“How have you been,” Juntae asked hesitantly, “Hyuntak?”
“Hm? Did you just call me Hyuntak?” he laughed. “Just call me Tak like you always have.”
Juntae fidgeted with the baking club brochure in his hand. “No one else calls you that, do they? I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it. It’s kind of a childish nickname.”
Juntae was quite softly spoken as a child. When they first met, introduced by their parents who were friends, he had trouble pronouncing Hyuntak’s name. The ‘Hyun’ in his name got lost, and Juntae said it more like “…’ntak.”
“Hey, that’s not my name! It’s not Tak, it’s Hyuntak!”
Hearing his criticism, Juntae hid his face behind his mother’s legs.
Hyuntak’s mother just laughed. “Tak. Isn’t that adorable?”
Juntae’s mother knudged him encouragingly. “Go on, speak up baby. Just like we practised.”
“Nice… to meet you,” he tried again. His voice was only a breath above a whisper. “—tak.”
The habit persisted long after their inital meeting and, every time, 6-year-old Hyuntak would correct him indignantly. After a while, he relented and allowed Juntae to just call him ‘Tak.’
“But!” Hyuntak exclaimed. “This means I can give you a nickname too. Like, Jun! That’s kinda cute, isn’t it? Jun?”
Hyuntak in the present waved his hand dismissively. “It’s okay. You’re the only one I’d let call me that.” He grabbed Juntae’s hand. “I can still call you Jun, right?”
Juntae watched the way Hyuntak threaded their fingers, palms brought together. “Of course,” he replied, a little breathless.
For Go Hyuntak and Seo Juntae, this level of skinship was very normal. They had been inseparable for most of their childhood—interlaced hands were barely the tip of it. They would eat lunch attached at their sides, arms wrapped around the other’s, legs overlapping and, at the end of day, fall asleep on top of each other in a heap. It was the kind of bond that a few years apart could never sever.
For Hyuntak, he looked at Juntae and saw Juntae. But, Juntae’s brain was still rewiring, trying to align the truth he understood and the scene unravelling in front of his eyes.
He had still had to convince himself that this was Hyuntak. Go Hyuntak, the boy that was an extension of himself. He just looked a little different.
A little more… solid. Rough around the edges. Adult. Handsome.
“Do you want to get parfaits?”
Hyuntak’s question dragged him out of his introspection. “Huh?”
“Parfait. There’s a dessert store near campus. You still like sweet things, right?” Juntae nodded. Hyuntak explained, “We can talk more over ice cream. Take our time to catch up.”
A smile warmed Juntae’s face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Hyuntak grinned. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and gently brought Juntae closer to him by tugging on their joined hands. His voice grew one degree softer. “Let me get your phone number, yeah? So I don’t lose you again.”
From this angle, Juntae had to tilt his head up higher just to meet his eyes. His words caught in his throat, so he could only nod in assent.
Once they exchanged details, Hyuntak nodded towards the arcade machine. “Do you want to give the game a go? It’s pretty fun.”
Juntae had been admittedly eyeing the machine. “Mhm! Oh, but, wait. I came with my friend. Let me find him first.”
Looking for Sieun really just meant looking for Suho, and Suho was pretty hard to miss. At that moment, Suho was forcing Sieun’s hand to wrap around a stick of tornado fries, likely insisting he eat something as he usually does.
Hyuntak dismissed the pair with a wave of his hand. “He’s probably going to be there a while anyway.” Juntae glanced over at the two, unsure, while Hyuntak shook Juntae’s hand impatiently. “Come onnn, let’s just go ourselves.”
Juntae raised an eyebrow at his childish antics. “Don’t you have work to do?”
Hyuntak shook his head. “They can miss me for a few minutes. Let’s do it. I’ve been wanting to play all day.”
Juntae stifled a laugh. “You really haven’t changed.” Juntae squeezed his hand and led the way towards the basketball machine. “Come on, let’s go!”
The machine happened to be free then so the basketball members running the game set it up for them quickly. One of them dapped Hyuntak up familiarly, with a few words about not letting the club lose face. Not that they had anything to worry about. Juntae was, as expected, not very good at the game.
“Tak!” He called out halfway through the round. “How are you getting every one in?” he asked, astonished.
Hyuntak didn’t slow, just gave a lopsided grin as he threw another perfect shot. At some point, he looked over at Juntae and started laughing. He didn’t stop until the game ended.
Juntae felt his cheeks warm. Was he laughing the fact Juntae hadn’t even scored half of the points Hyuntak had? Or did he catch Juntae glancing over at him every few seconds, admiring his form when he shot?
Hyuntak clarified exactly what it was as they moved to the side to let the next pair play. He grinned widely as he said, “Jun, you know you do this weird bouncy thing when you shoot.” He pinched Juntae’s reddened cheek. “It’s so cute.”
Juntae pushed Hyuntak’s hand away, still conscious of the club members watching them. “Okay, now you really should head back. I still have stalls to see too.”
“Fine, fine. Whatever you say,” Hyuntak relented. “I’ll text you, okay? Don’t be a stranger.”
“Mmh,” he nodded. “I’ll see you later.”
Juntae watched him go and noted gratefully that his palpating heart had started to ease. It finally felt like he had really reunited his childhood best friend. He smiled to himself.
“You two seem really close.”
Juntae startled. “Sieun! When did you get here?”
Sieun took a bite of his tornado fries. “I’ve been here for a while. You just didn’t notice.”
Juntae cleared his throat. “Okay. Are you ready to head off?”
“What, you’ve finally had enough?” Sieun teased, a smirk playing at his lips. “Or, are you happy now you’ve seen a certain person?”
Juntae’s eyes widened. “It’s not like that, Sieun-ah! Argh, let’s just go.”
He snorted. “Finally.”
That night, as he was completing the sign-up for the baking club, a text from Hyuntak arrived.
[Go Hyuntak]
junnn
[Location]
this is the place
r u free tmr?? around 1
hi tak!
im free!😆
so we’ll meet there at one?
yeppp
see u
In the dessert shop filled with mostly couples and groups of girls, the pair of them—two grown men—stood out a little. The day was clear—the midday sunlight bounced off the grey pavement outside into the pastel-pink walls of the restaurant, filling it with a warm diffuse glow. They picked a table near the window next to a hanging vine decoration spotted with pink roses.
Juntae looked through the menu. “But, Tak-ah, are you alright with eating here? I thought you don’t like sweet things.”
Hyuntak cleared his throat. “No, no, I do.” He grinned sheepishly. “I never admitted it, but I actually really like desserts.”
“I knew it!” Juntae smirked. As kids, Hyuntak would tease him relentlessly about his sweet tooth—Juntae would often prefer ice cream or chocolate instead of a proper meal. It’s just too much sugar, he’d say, how can you eat all that when it’s so sweet? Yet, without fail, he’d always ask for a bite of whatever Juntae was having, denying vehemently that he enjoyed it.
Juntae reminded him of the memory. “Haha, I did, didn’t I? So embarrassing,” Hyuntak admitted, rubbing the back of neck. “I was trying too hard to be cool.” He picked up the menu. “Should we just get the strawberry parfait? It looks good.”
“Yeah, I was looking at that one too!”
Once they’d ordered, it didn’t take long for the parfaits to come out. The towering glasses of cream were topped with bright-red strawberries dusted with powdered sugar and small gold flakes.
Hyuntak reached for his glass and spoon. “Wait!” Juntae called out and his hand froze in midair. Juntae grabbed his phone from his pocket. “I want to take a photo, they’re so cute.”
Juntae leaned in to snap their desserts. He was so focused, he didn’t notice Hyuntak had started taking photos too.
He glanced up and noticed Hyuntak leaning back in his chair, taking photos of the table from a high angle. “Oh, sorry, was I in your photos?” he asked leaning back.
“Yeah, you were. But, it’s okay. I was trying to get you in them,” he admitted with a smile. He chuckled at Juntae’s confused frown. He threw up a peace sign. “You can take some of me too.”
He thought about it for a second before quickly dismissed the idea. Having a personal photo of Hyuntak was tempting, but his intentions were definitely not as pure as Hyuntak assumed so it just felt wrong.
Juntae put his phone away in a hurry. “Le- let’s just eat.”
Hyuntak smiled, finally taking his parfait and spoon. “Whatever you say, Jun-ah.”
They fell into silence as they began to eat. Juntae didn’t know what to say. How do you go about catching up three and a half years?
“So,” Juntae started hesitantly, “how come you’re already a part of the basketball club?”
Hyuntak explained, “the sports clubs work differently. They accept expressions of interest early. The club thought it’d be good to get first years to play in the welcome week game, to get more freshmen to come watch. You know—,” he waved his spoon around to demonstrate his point “—since they’d be supporting their friends.”
Juntae shovelled another large spoonful of ice cream. “Ahh—” he swallowed, licking the excess cream off his lips “—that’s so nice. So, you’ve already gotten to get to know the people in the club? I’m jealous. I still don’t know anyone other than Sieun…”
Juntae’s words cut off as Hyuntak reached up to wipe away the ice cream sticking to the corners of his mouth with an endeared chuckle. “You still talk while you eat, huh? I thought that habit would have died off by now.”
Juntae frantically wiped off the rest of the mess around his mouth. “Don’t be like that. Some things are hard to change.”
“Really?” He leaned his elbows forward on the table. “Then, are you still scared of moths?”
Juntae playfully rolled his eyes. “No. Are you still scared of ants?”
Hyuntak straightened up, the smile on his face faltering slightly. “Well, I wouldn’t say scared.”
“Oh my god, you really are,” Juntae giggled.
“I’m not! They just make me a little uncomfortable.”
“That’s what you said when we were kids too. But, you’d refuse to sit down if you saw even the littlest ant—”
“Okay, well, I don’t think that’s how it went. Oh my god, but do you remember that time you peed in a bush? That was so hilarious.”
Juntae’s eyes widened. “Hey, you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!”
Hyuntak smirked. “Did I? I don’t really remember—” Juntae hit his arm lightly. “Ow! Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”
Juntae pouted, turning his head back to his dessert. His face screwed up at the memory (it was truly a point of desperation).
“Hey, Jun, don’t be mad.” He flicked Juntae’s chin lightly. “Let’s talk about something else. Hmm?”
Juntae let himself be placated as they caught up on each other’s lives. Hyuntak’s older sister had graduated was working in Seoul, part of the reason why Hyuntak had chosen to study here. He decided to study Engineering, a decision inspired by a new interest in cars. (That one was surprising, considering Hyuntak was never the most studious. He assured Juntae that hadn't really changed.)
At some point, their conversation reached a comfortable silence and they focused on finishing the rest of their food. Juntae’s eyes were kept honed on Hyuntak’s face; it was unavoidable. The handsome face sat across from him demanded Juntae’s attention at all times. He couldn’t—and, frankly, didn’t want to—shy away from admiring it while it was in front of him.
Hyuntak caught Juntae’s burning gaze and paused mid-bite. “What? Is there something on my face?”
Juntae shook his head. “No, it’s just— Tak. You look really different. Do people tell you that a lot?”
Hyuntak picked out a strawberry from the bottom of his glass. “I mean, that summer, the one you moved away, I had a pretty big growth spurt. I came back to school and everyone and everything just seemed really tiny, it was so weird.” Juntae nodded even though he, very obviously, couldn’t relate. “But, other than that, I think I look pretty much the same, no?”
No. Juntae could write paragraphs detailing exactly how not the same he looked.
Even now, Hyuntak’s tan arms crowded his side of the table as he scaped out the last of his parfait. His long legs knocked Juntae’s knees and Juntae tried desperately not to think about difference in their sizes. In what way did Hyuntak look the same? When the way his body had matured caused Juntae to react so differently in his presence?
But, he couldn’t say that. “Yeah. I guess so,” he chose instead.
Once the food was finished and the bill was paid—Hyuntak insisted on paying for both but Juntae transferred him anyway—they started their walk back to campus.
Hyuntak stayed close to his side the whole way back, his shoulder grazing Juntae's softly as they walked. Hyuntak's long legs slowed to match his pace and his heart felt warm in a way he knew had nothing to do with sun beating down onto his shoulders.
Once they entered campus, Hyuntak turned to face him. "Which way is your dorm?"
Juntae pointed towards the north side of the university. "How about you, Tak-ah? Do you live on campus?"
"Mhm." He nodded his chin to the west end. "I live around there."
They walked together through the campus for a little while longer, before they reached the point they would go different directions. Juntae felt a soft pang at the thought their outing had come to an end.
"Tak-ah." He had finally gotten to the point he was comfortable enough to reach out first and grasp Hyuntak's hand. "I had fun today. Thank you for making time to see me," he said with a reserved smile.
Hyuntak's grin spread widely. "Of course, Jun-ie. Thank you making time to see me too."
Later that night, after he slipped into his pajamas and slid a headband in to push his bangs back, he laid in bed scrolling though the photos he took during the day. He spent extra time admiring the ones that caught Hyuntak in the frames, albeit only from the chin or shoulders down.
There was something about the moment being captured like this that made his chest glow and the corners of his mouth quirk up. He favourited the photos.