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Shane had been reluctant to agree to the house tour in the first place. This was not his thing. Luckily, it was his husband’s.
Sure, Shane had helped. He had cleaned the windows, organized the fridge, and, most importantly, collected the various bottles of lube hidden in random places around their home and stashed them at the bottom of his sock drawer. Their now-shared Ottawa home looked picture perfect and he was quite proud. In fact, Shane was glad that it was being documented before Ilya decided their perfectly clean house was a great excuse to host the entire team for an off-season party.
Once the team from Architectural Digest arrived, Ilya took over. Shane was happy to talk about the minute details of the remodel, but Ilya’s energy was what would make the feature interesting. He practically bounced from room to room, grinning like a child on Christmas morning as he showed off his favorite photographs and teased Shane about his health food.
Things were going very well, Ilya the picture of almost-professionalism, until they reached the trophy room. Ilya swiped his arm dramatically across his body and gestured to the shelf at the back of the room.
“And this is where we keep our seven Stanley Cups.” Ilya announced.
Shane sighed. They’d had this conversation before. He would have let it go, but the integrity nagged at the front of his mind.
“Six cups, Ilya.” Shane sighed in exasperation. “Between us we have won six cups.”
“No.” Ilya said firmly. “Is seven, моя любовь.”
Shane rolled his eyes and crossed the room to point at each miniature in turn as he counted.
“One, two, three, four, five-”
“Six, seven!” Ilya interrupted. He spoke quickly, as if the two numbers were one word, and pointed to the final miniature on the shelf - a miniature of the cup from 2024 when they had won it together with Ottawa.
The argument was a year old by now. Shane had earned three cups with the Voyageurs and Ilya had two from his time with the Bears. Until 2024, they’d had a total of five cups. Shane’s argument, the logical argument, was that five plus one was six. They had won another cup, together, but that meant they now had six cups.
Ilya, ever the dramatic one, insisted that no, Shane now had four cups and Ilya had three, equaling seven. Shane thought that was stupid, as if you wrote out the total list of Stanley Cup championships between the two of them, it was still six. He voiced as much on camera for Architectural Digest.
“2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2020, and 2024. Where’s the seventh cup, Ilya?”
Ilya rolled his eyes and repeated his argument of four plus three, which only earned him an unimpressed look from Shane.
The taller man shrugged with his hands in the air and pulsed them like a scale.
“Six, seven. What matters most is that my sexy husband and I have more cups in our home than any other player in league.” Ilya grinned childishly at Shane who tried his best to keep a straight face, but he failed miserable and kissed Ilya’s cheek before ruffling a hand through his curls.
“You’re going to cut that, right?” Shane asked the producer.
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They didn’t cut a single moment of the argument, including Shane asking if it would be cut. The July 2025 tour of Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov’s home spawned several memes.
Shane saying “you’re going to cut that, right?” became a viral sound on corporate Tik Tok overnight.
Ilya’s ‘heart eyes’ became a go-to sticker in everyone’s Instagram stories.
Shane’s face became Hockey Tumblr’s favorite ‘I am not amused’ reaction gif.
It was all fun and games, until Dykstra had informed them of the latest trend at his kid’s school. Apparently, saying the words “six, seven” with absolutely no context and making the same gesture Ilya had made in the video.
Ilya was thrilled. Harris capitalized the hell out of it. Shane was just done.