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Til death do us part. It wasn’t a phrase Nico was very fond of, but he guessed, in his case, it was appropriate.
In practice, it wasn’t even remotely true. Most lovers found each other in Elysium and stayed together until one of them (or both) chose rebirth. It was a great system, and Nico was quite pleased with it.
“Nico,” Percy’s voice was detached, cold, as it greeted him. “Fancy meeting you here.”
The ceremony was closed casket, on request of the family. Estelle Jones, née Blofis, was 87 years old, and had passed peacefully and quietly in her sleep after a life fully lived, leaving behind a son, two daughters and 7 grandchildren, all who loved and cherished her.
“I knew you’d come,” Nico said softly, observing Estelle through the wood carefully, still seeing her as the little girl who had asked him when he was going to marry Percy. “But I came for her.”
Percy stayed quiet, pensive as he looked at the casket. His hand passed through the wood and seemed to caress his sister’s cheek tenderly before he glared at the wall.
“I’m not doing it,” he declared, vitriol in his tone. “You can try to force me, but I won’t go quietly.”
Nico sighed and raised his arms in surrender.
“I know,” he told him, taking a step back. “I’m not trying to force you to come back, I just…” wanted to see you, missed you, wish I had done things differently.
None of the words he wanted to get out sounded right. Percy huffed and crossed his arms, disappointment obvious in his face.
“Then you aren’t doing your job properly,” Percy bit back with so much venom Nico almost stumbled back. “What a sorry excuse for a god.”
“That’s good, because I’m not quite a god,” he said, tired of having to explain this to Percy over and over again. “If we want to get specific, I’m a daemon.”
Percy sighed and looked at him, completely unimpressed.
“A daemon is a deity, a minor god,” Percy said plainly. “You are a god, Nico, end of the story.”
“In the same way any nymph, satyr or nature spirit is a god,” he retorted, feeling incensed. Somehow, it was easier fighting with Percy than being open with him. “By that metric, you also—”
“Say that and I don’t care if I lose, I’ll fight you.” He glared at Nico, finally looking straight at him. Nico’s breath hitched as Percy’s green eyes stared him down. Not with hatred, but with hurt and anger, and he realized that… really, Nico would lose, each and every time. He would always fold instantly for Percy.
“Wow, I feel so loved right now.”
They both turned to look at a girl crossing her arms, an eyebrow raised. Nico blinked in surprise.
“I… I thought that you would already be at Charon’s office, if not in line to the Judges,” Nico said, stunned.
“You… you said you came for her!” Percy exclaimed, loud enough for a few mortals to turn around, wondering where the noise came from.
“For the funeral, not to take her!” Nico defended himself. “Her soul should have been sent when she died!”
“I know, I asked the nice guy guiding me to let me linger a while longer,” Estelle said, smiling a little. “When I name-dropped Nico, he agreed.”
“Why did you want to linger?” Percy asked her, bemused. “And why do you look 12?”
“That’s… a bit of a long story,” she told them sheepishly. “Want to get out of here? I think there’s a nice place to sit and talk just outside… I saw it when they brought my body here.”
Percy and Nico could only nod and followed after Estelle, keeping distance from each other.
“Demigods fight, they bring their parents honor, they save others, they die,” Mr. D said gruffly as he stood behind Nico. “It’s kind of their thing. Perry Johnson isn’t that special.”
“He’s special to me,” Nico said back, biting the inside of his cheek to not scream at the god of wine. “He was special to a whole lot of people.”
“So were Theseus, Bellerophon and Heracles,” Mr. D stated, unperturbed. “All of them died young, all of them died painfully.”
Nico choked back a sob. Yes, Percy’s death had been painful, unfair. He hadn’t deserved to go out like that. The worst part was that his mortal family wouldn’t get to see him off. His body had been so mangled that Chiron had decided it best if they just got the ashes after the funeral.
He just wished there was a way to give him a little more time, for him to say his goodbyes, at least, instead of…
Nico blinked. He looked at Mr. D, wondering if he was giving him a hint, but the god remained impassive, with a much better poker face than he had sported through decades of pinochle with Chiron.
“Heracles is still around,” he mentioned carefully. Dionysus just shrugged noncommittally. “His mortal body died and was burned away, but the divine parts remained, making him a full god.”
“Heracles was a special case,” the god grumbled. “It pays being father’s favorite mortal offspring. The greatest hero to ever live and whatnot.”
Nico nodded. It was true that Heracles was exceptional, but… so was Percy Jackson. Few demigods had been offered godhood, and he was one of them. He also happened to be his father’s favorite son, as the unnatural rain was testifying.
“I… I need to go talk to my father,” he said stepping away from the shroud and what remained of Percy’s body. “Thanks.”
Dionysus looked at him with the utmost pity.
“I didn’t do or say anything, kid,” he said as shadows enveloped Nico. “And if you do what I think, you won’t be thanking me, or anyone, any time soon.”
A psychopomp, a ghost, and something that wasn't quite either walked into a bar… Nico grimaced. His life was enough of a joke without the setup mocking him.
They found an empty booth to sit soon enough. It was early enough that the only people drinking were the few people mourning their loved ones. Despite being hidden from mortal eyes, thanks to the Mist, no one approached their seemingly empty table, as if every living thing could sense death around it.
Percy still didn’t look at him as he sat as far away from Nico as possible. Estelle rolled her eyes and sat between them, somehow breaching the gap a little.
“You two are such children,” she said, halfway between annoyed and endeared.
“We’re both older than you,” Nico couldn’t help pointing out. “Technically, I was born almost 200 years ago.”
“Yeah, you’re my younger sister, if I’m a child, what are you?” Percy added, raising an eyebrow.
“A grandmother,” she replied smugly. “I just chose to look like this because it’s the age you knew me best as.”
The barb didn’t go unnoticed by either of them. Nico cringed while Percy gave a grimace at Estelle’s words.
“Sorry for not coming more often,” Nico said quietly. “Around 2 people die each second, and the Greek Underworld takes the lion’s share of them.”
“You know, I never understood why,” Percy commented, genuinely curious. “Wouldn’t a lot more people go to the Christian, Muslim or Hindu afterlife, whatever those are?”
“You’d think, but at the time of death, people get… well, scared,” Nico told him, feeling a small warmth in his chest at Percy not looking at him with disdain. “What they think, how they lived, determines what afterlife they go to, and what people think of the afterlife is heavily influenced by passed down stories of the Greek Underworld.”
More accurately, how Dante described hell was very similar to the Underworld, and people that were dying… well, with their whole life flashing before their eyes, every mistake, every flaw, they think they may be judged too harshly and end up in the Greek Underworld.
It worked out fine for everyone, all things considered. The Greeks got to bolster their numbers, the mortals had a chance at Elysium or, more realistically, an eternity of rest at Asphodel, and very few people ended up in the hell they fear they deserve.
“So, you have the excuse of guiding the departed towards the afterlife,” Estelle spoke up, reminding them she was there. “What about you, oh brother of mine?”
Percy squirmed in his chair.
“I felt… I don’t know, out of place,” Percy explained. “I’m dead, Ettie, I don’t age, or mature as you already pointed out… and I was on the run.”
He looked pointedly at Nico, who crossed his arms.
“You think I would have taken your soul when I know the Fields of Punishment await you?” he asked, aghast. “All I did was for you to come back!”
“And I didn’t want it, so you have to do your job!”
“Boys, boys, you’re both idiots, we all know that!” Estelle said, placing her hands on their shoulders. “This is why I wanted to linger, by the way.”
“To tell us we’re idiots?” Nico asked, tilting his head.
“To start with, but also to get you on the same room to talk things out,” she said. “You two wouldn’t be so hurt, so bitter, if you still didn’t care for each other.”
Neither of them could deny that. Almost like they were mirroring each other, they sat back on the chairs, looking resigned.
“So, where do we start, wise grandma Ettie?” Percy snarked.
Estelle didn’t look bothered. If anything, she was happy they had reluctantly agreed to her request.
“Start from the beginning, then tell me how things fell apart.”
Nico stared at the greyish waters of Long Island’s winter sea, entranced by the way they lapped at the beach rhythmically.
Despite it being dangerous for him, the water always managed to calm him down. It reminded him of home, of his childhood, of how despite everything, some things did remain.
“Would it be totally tone deaf to wish you a happy birthday right now?”
And during summer, when the ocean gained that green tint, it reminded him of the one person his heart couldn’t help accelerating for, despite his best efforts.
“What are you doing here?” Nico asked tiredly as he turned to look at Percy Jackson. “Aren’t you a little old to be at camp?”
Percy shrugged and sat beside him on the sand.
“First of all, ouch.” He placed his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “Second of all, I heard about Will and wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Funny you ask me,” Nico told him, turning his head to look at the ocean once more. “Considering I’m the one that dumped him. My personal birthday present.”
Percy sighed. He shook his head and scooted closer to the son of Hades.
“And it was me that initiated the breakup with Annabeth,” he said back. “It still hurt… you’re allowed to feel bad about it, even if it was your choice.”
Nico knew how he should feel. Angry, sad, disappointed, but strangely enough, he felt none of that. He was just… relieved. He was glad his relationship with Will had happened, but also grateful that it was over.
“It wasn’t meant to be,” he said as if it was as obvious as one plus one. “I didn’t want to force it any longer.”
“So, about what you said a week ago…” Percy started awkwardly, his cheeks turning rosy as he avoided looking at him directly.
“That… I wasn’t lying,” he said carefully. “But that wasn’t the reason I ended things with Will.”
“It wasn’t?” he asked, he seemed genuinely surprised. “If I had found myself catching feelings for someone else when I was with Annabeth, I—”
“It wasn’t a new thing,” he interrupted. “Just… something I had decided to ignore for a long time.”
“So… what changed, then?”
He had changed, Will had changed. Or rather, Will refused to accept change and tried to act as if nothing had changed. Maybe he hadn’t changed, he just had gotten tired of pretending, of playing house with someone that would ignore what was in front of him as long as it was comfortable.
Nico stood up and tried to get rid of the sand on his pants. A fruitless effort, but better than having to look at Percy as he talked.
“Nothing changed,” he decided to say. “That was the problem.”
“We began to date a few days later,” Nico recalled. “Quite a few people judged us for that.”
“Yeah, well, screw them,” Percy grumbled. He tried to hide his smile at the memory. “It wasn’t about them, it was about us.”
Nico observed him with that knowing gaze he had grown to both love and hate over the years.
“Yeah… most of them weren’t even our friends,” he said softly. “Just busybodies that thought they had a say over who Percy Jackson dated.”
“Or nosey idiots who were too invested in camp’s first out gay couple,” he added, smirking a bit. “To each group, one of us was the evil manipulator separating the other from our true love.”
“Didn’t you know? You’re only allowed to date one person,” Nico said back. “Mess it up? Sorry, beg for forgiveness or go join a convent or something.”
Percy laughed.
“If we were girls, we’d be expected to join Artemis!” he said between giggles.
“I know what comes next,” Estelle said, smiling too. “Five years of being in a relationship, dates, and treating me to Italian sweets.”
Nico shrugged a bit.
“What can I say? I wanted my sister-in-law to like me.”
“And after that?”
Percy’s mood soured instantly. That was part of the reason he avoided Nico. When they were together, it was easy to fall into their old habits. Their banter, their joking around. It was easy to forget he was angry at him.
“Then I died,” he said hollowly.
Percy had never really thought about how he wanted to die. As a demigod, he always assumed a monster or god would most likely do him in. Dying of old age, surrounded by friends and family, was ideal, but also unlikely.
He had never expected it to be that quick, though.
A part of him was grateful for it as he sat down in Charon’s waiting room. That he died so suddenly meant there had been no pain, no prolonged suffering… but it also meant he hadn’t been able to say goodbye, to come to terms with his death.
One second, he was helping a mortal being seduced by an Empousa, and the next, he was dead, and he didn’t know what did him in. Had the monster pierced a vital area? He remembered taking the fight to the streets, so had he been run over? There also had been this bright light as they fought. An explosion, or a bomb?
Percy had no idea. He guessed he would find out once he was in front of the judges.
Being dead altered your perception of time. While normally his ADHD would make him unable to sit still for long, he felt like he had just sat down for a few seconds despite probably staying put for hours or more as Charon called on the names of the people that were cleared to cross the Styx.
He thought of Nico. He wondered if his boyfriend would be able to visit him or if, just as it had happened with Bianca and his mom, Nico was barred from summoning him or even going for a visit.
“Would he even want to visit?” he asked out loud, knowing the other souls would not answer him, lost in their own thoughts. “Maybe it would be too painful for him…”
The worst part was that, if he were to be selfish, he wanted him to. He wanted Nico to visit, for them to continue their relationship even if he was dead. He had always heard the dead would like the living to move on with their lives but… he didn’t want that.
Of course he wanted Nico to be happy and to keep living, but he also didn’t want him to move on from him. Nico was his forever, and he wanted to be Nico’s forever, too.
That was probably the most awful thing a ghost could think about a loved one, though.
There was an itch on the sole of his left foot. It tickled a bit, then it became painful. Percy sat up, his back straightening as his eyes widened. He thought the dead couldn’t feel pain unless they were sent to the Fields of Punishment, but the feeling of pain extended from his leg all the way to his torso. He squirmed and bit his lip to stop himself from squirming.
His thoughts were a jumbled mess. Maybe this was Hades finally making good on his promise to make him regret making Nico cry, or maybe the seat was making itself more uncomfortable as a magic signal he had missed Charon’s call. Maybe it was ghost pains (get it? Hah!), but he felt as if he was bathing in the Styx all over again.
When he opened his eyes again, Nico was there, looking at him with a relieved smile. He offered his hand.
“Hey, Percy.”
There was something different about him, though. His dark hair was shiny and lustrous, almost the color of the abyss. His brown eyes now had a yellow, almost golden tint to them, and his whole body seemed to be glowing faintly as he helped him up.
Percy almost fell over in shock when he discovered the same glow around his own hand. He knew this could only mean one thing.
Nico was a god now, and so was he.
“Wait, I don’t get it,” Estelle said, crossing her arms. “How did you become a god, and why would Nico hunt you if you’re a god and not a ghost?”
Percy sighed and looked at his hands. They were slightly translucent, so he was able to see the table underneath if he focused.
“I made a deal with my father,” Nico explained. “There are… conditions, for turning a dead demigod into a god. The most important is their godly parent’s permission.”
“Easy to get,” Percy said, frowning as he looked at the wall. “Dad didn’t care if I was happy, only that I was alive.”
“The second is a holy flame… that one, I got from the goddess Hestia,” he continued, ignoring Percy’s barb. “And the last is having a right to the soul of the new god.”
“Hercules threw himself on his pyre while agonizing, so he was his own master when he ascended,” Percy told his sister, remembering Nico’s explanation. “I was already dead. Nico needed Hades to give him a right over my soul.”
“An equivalent exchange,” Nico whispered. “My father gave me possession of Percy’s soul in exchange for my own Apotheosis.”
“Your own what?” Estelle asked, tilting her head in confusion.
“Hades turned him into a god so he could have my soul,” Percy answered, rolling his eyes. “But, here’s the thing about gods: they need to have duties. Be something, represent something… I refused.”
“If we’re to be technical, I’m a daemon, a minor god that is just his duty.” Nico shrugged. “I’m not a god of anything in particular, just a psychopomp guiding souls to the Underworld.”
“And if someone like me doesn’t accept his duties as a god, he has to die,” Percy finished, looking at Nico expectantly. “No better than a rogue spirit or a wayward soul that needs to be taken back to the Underworld.”
Nico cringed and shrank down, making Percy feel guilty, but he pushed it down.
“What’s so wrong about this?” his sister asked, looking at him in reproach. “Why be mad at Nico for saving you?”
“I didn’t ask him,” Nico said softly, looking at his clenched fists. “He didn’t choose to be a god. He never wanted it. This was me being selfish.”
“So, you’ve known all along,” Percy said, frowning. “And you still never apologized.”
“Percy, your task—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Percy shouted, before quieting immediately. Ever since coming back, water was far more responsive to him. Any sort of strong emotion would cause the pipes of his mom’s apartment burst spontaneously. “I’m not a god. I refuse to be one.”
“But you are,” Nico insisted, taking a step closer. Percy mirrored the movement, keeping his distance. “I made you like this. It’s my responsibility to guide you—”
“Back to the Underworld? Go ahead,” Percy said, finally facing his… facing Nico so he could take him. “I’m not a god, that means I stay dead, right? Do your job, Mr. New God.”
Nico looked like he had been slapped.
“Percy, please,” Nico begged. “If you don’t take care of your duties, then I really will have to take you back.”
“Then do it already,” Percy shot back. He didn’t know why it hurt so much, why Nico bringing him back felt like such a betrayal. “Do your job.”
“There’s still time,” he said, shaking his head. “You aren’t a ghost yet.”
“Then stay away from me,” he said coldly. “If you see me again, it better be to take me back to the Underworld.”
He felt both a sick satisfaction and unending guilt as Nico, with tears in his eyes, teleported away.
Not through Shadow Travel, but by turning into light, like he was any other god.
“Percy?” Estelle asked, peeking from her room with a worried expression. “Is everything okay between you and Nico?”
The son of Poseidon didn’t know what to do, so he just hugged his sister.
“Not right now,” he admitted. “But… maybe someday they’ll be.”
Yes, things between him and Nico would probably fix themselves after he apologized, took him back to the Underworld, and they could put all this behind them.
“I… I can’t,” Nico said, making Percy look up, eyes wide. “I’m not sorry, Percy, or at least, not in the way you want me to be sorry.”
Percy stood up, ready to storm out, but Estelle’s ghostly hand stopped him.
“Listen to him,” her tone of voice was not one of a prepubescent girl, but of an old lady that was used to dealing with tantrums. Percy hated to think of his problems with Nico as if they were moody teens, but his sister made him believe they could be.
He grumbled and sat back down.
“I am sorry that I was selfish, and that you suffered over this,” Nico continued, eyeing him carefully. “But I’ll never be sorry about bringing you back, about sacrificing everything to have you live.”
“I didn’t ask for this,” Percy said, avoiding his gaze once more. “I was… content, with my death.”
“I am content with my death,” Estelle pointed out. “I lived into my eighties, and got to experience so much… did you?”
Percy shrugged.
“It’s not the number of years; it’s the quality of life.”
“A life constantly hunted by monsters, gods, and who knows what else,” Nico said, frowning. “How was that good?”
“Because I had people I loved around me!” Percy snapped, glaring at him. “I had my family, my friends, you… now there’s nothing.”
“Because you chose to,” his sister quipped. “Nico fucked up, sure—”
“Language!” “You can’t say that!”
“I’m an old lady, get over it!” She rolled her eyes. “The point is, Nico brought you back, you were the one that refused being with us out of… what? Pride, resentment, to prove a point?”
Percy winced. He knew his sister was right. That he could have spent the last few decades meeting with them, being part of their lives, with Nico… but he hadn’t because…
“I hate being controlled,” he admitted, burying his face in his hands. “I hate that Nico never talked to me about this. I hate that, as a god, I’m supposed to be even more involved in godly red tape and politics. At least in death, I was free.”
Yes, maybe it was a 60-year long tantrum of him wanting to assert what little freedom he had, even if it made him miserable.
Nico smiled.
“I never wanted you to be anything other than free, Percy,” he told him, placing his hand over Percy’s. It was cool, like always, and Percy had missed it so much. “But would it be so bad, being together with me forever as gods?”
Percy allowed himself to roll his eyes good-naturedly.
“That would be the only good part of this,” he said. “I still miss you, even if we have been apart 10 times longer than we were together.”
“Technically you guys never broke up so…” Estelle left the sentence hanging, making them chuckle.
“You never let me told you about your duties as a daemon,” Nico said, squeezing his hand. “As the owner of your soul I got to choose it.”
“What is it?” he asked curiously.
“You protect people who are loved,” he answered. “You watch over those who have people to come back to.”
Percy grimaced.
“I really need to curb my rebellious streak,” he said sheepishly. “That sounds… more than perfect, Nico.”
“I love that you’re rebellious, too,” the son of Hades said as he kissed his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you, that I didn’t ask you, but not that I did it.”
“I’m sorry I was so stubborn, I guess,” he said back. Between them, Estelle squirmed under the table to allow them to come closer.
“Will you give this minor god thing a try, then?”
Percy thought about it. There were still a lot of things he needed to know. How he had died, why had Nico not talked to him, whether the son of Hades still owned his immortal soul legally and not just figuratively…
“Okay, I think I’m ready to cross now, Mr. Psychopomp,” Estelle said, bringing their attention back to her. “I’m glad you two are talking again.”
Percy nodded.
“I’ll go with you, maybe visit mom and the others down in the Underworld,” Percy decided. Nico nodded, smiling brightly.
There was still a lot of things he and Nico needed to discuss, a lot of stuff that had been left unsaid over the years.
But as Estelle had wanted, they were talking now, and if decades of resentment hadn’t dampened their feelings, that meant there was a chance forever may be attainable someday.
Because he still loved Nico, more than anything in the world.
They each took one of Estelle’s hands and Nico let the shadows take them towards the Underworld.
They were gods now. If there was one thing they had, it was time.