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it's early in your relationship, so you were too nervous to tell sylus that you weren't sure about going somewhere with so many people. when he raised his eyebrows at you in that way that makes your ears heat up and asked if there was anything on your mind, you thought about spilling your worries out to him. but your will faltered, and you played it off as if it were nothing.
you knew he could see the storm fogging up your head; he could read you like a book, even though you'd only been close for a handful of weeks. you felt awful for lying, guilt making your lungs feel heavy. you were being horrible to him, you just knew it; making him wonder if he had done something wrong that made him unworthy of your trust. he was being incredibly kind by waiting for you to open up first, not wanting to push your boundaries and showing you a level of patience and respect that you have never been afforded before. you were just terrified that he'd finally realize your inadequacy, how you struggled to just exist around strangers while he could navigate high-class events with ease. you don't deserve his patience if you're using it to make him suffer-
mephisto snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts by bumping your jaw with his head and making a clicking sound, and you did your best to forget about your dread and return to a lighthearted attitude. you could sense the concern in sylus's gaze, but you pretended not to notice.
time passes. you've been out on your date for around an hour, and you feel like you've been holding yourself together pretty well. but you can tell your energy reserves had begun to deplete. it always happened: you could only stay out in public for so long before exhaustion began to set in, and every sensation began to feel like running your nails down a chalkboard.
you did your best to hold back your yawns as you walked hand in hand with sylus, the physical contact offering you a bit of comfort. sylus, for his part, teased you as if nothing was amiss, but you could tell he knew something was off. his eyes were gentler than usual and lost a bit of their carefree gleam. you couldn't shake the tension in your posture, and you were sure he could tell through your connected hands. you could feel the vibration of people walking on the floor near you. you wish they'd walk a little softer. they're all being so obnoxious. sylus said something funny, and you looked up at him with a preprogrammed smile and joked back in response. it's so loud. was he disappointed in you? he put in all this effort to take you somewhere he thought you'd enjoy and you're ruining it.
your thoughts started to spin faster as your chest tightened. sylus said something else but you couldn't hear him. you asked him to repeat himself but you couldn't focus on his words, so you just nodded and gave him a strained smile in response. why is everyone so loud?
they're all moving too much everything is too much it's too hot and the floor is shaking and you can't keep your smile up and you need to get out of here but how would you even say that without looking stupid? you're worrying him he wanted to have a nice day with you and you're ruining it.
the static in your head was getting louder and you wished you had brought your earbuds and someone brushed your arm while they were walking by and you flinched towards sylus like you'd been struck, making yourself as small as possible to avoid touching anyone else. it's never this bad, why did it have to go so badly today? why today of all days? you were trying to be good, you wanted to show him that you're an adult and you're capable of holding yourself together like you should be and you must be giving him a horrible impression there's no way he'll still want you after this you can't lose him you can't
you felt sylus's arm wrap gently around your back as he drew you a bit closer and began to guide you towards the exit of the building, his large form shielding you from contact with anyone else. he bent down to say something to you, but you couldn't catch it. you didn't think you could force any words out of your mouth, so you just leaned into him and gripped the hem of his sweater tightly in your hand and hoped that conveyed something that made sense. you couldn't bear to make eye contact with him.
you blinked, and you realized you're in a park near the building. you couldn't remember how you got here, but sylus was holding your face in his large hands as if you were made of porcelain, wiping away tears that dripped down your cheeks with his thumbs. you didn't remember beginning to cry, either.
"there we are," he breathed, his eyes softening even further than you thought possible. he's so kind to you. he's so pretty. "come back to me, sweetheart. you're okay. breathe. i've got you."
you took a deep inhale of fresh air and felt the pressure in your lungs slowly start to fade. you leaned forward and buried your face in the crook of his neck, surprising him for a moment before he tenderly adjusted you to a more comfortable position in his lap, always attuned to your needs. his fingers began to run over your scalp, gently threading through soft strands of your hair. he could feel your body relaxing against his, his heart aching with fondness. he softly began to hum a song that you had slow-danced to one night, and you could feel his deep voice rumbling in his chest beneath your cheek.
after lying protected in his arms for a good long while, you finally felt your ability to speak start to return. "i'm sorry," you croaked out weakly into his shirt, sniffling and gripping tightly to his sweater like you were afraid he would disappear at any moment.
"sorry? what for?" sylus murmured against your scalp, before pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head. one of his hands began to run up and down your back in the way he knew you liked, melting you against him. "what could you ever do to bother me, kitten? hmm?"
"ruined our date," you trembled a little as you confessed, and felt his arms tighten around you slightly. "you-you took me somewhere nice, and i just-"
he cupped your cheek and gently tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. you see no anger or impatience in them at all. "you didn't ruin anything, sweetie." he kissed away a tear that ran down your nose. "i just want to spend time with my beloved. and here you are."
your cheeks flushed, and you took a shaky, deep breath of the clean park air. now a bit more aware of your surroundings, you took everything in. it's just the two of you, other than the small sparrows taking dust baths nearby. noticing you perk up, sylus stroked your cheekbone with his thumb, smirking down at you when you met his eyes. "you know, i just happen to know a shop nearby that sells birdseed," he mused, a teasing tone returning to his voice. "you wouldn't happen to be interested, would you?"
sylus felt the weight in his chest lift upon finally seeing a genuine smile on your face. he offered his hand, and you took it, allowing him to help you up on slightly wobbly legs.
"i promise not to scare them away with a gunshot this time." he chuckled, laughing more as you glared at him and gave him a little shove with your free hand.
"you'd better not!" you huffed, the two of you beginning to walk towards the store.
sylus would follow you anywhere, as long as he could see you happy.