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Strange things had been happening to Pete.
He was used to strange things happening, sure. He’d been living with hallucinations for a long time now, and with being high for only a little bit less than that. Even with his meds, strange things were still happening. And, okay, that was probably- definitely- the mushrooms fault. But, whatever. Pete’s point was- What was Pete’s point again? Something something hallucinations,something something shrooms, something something- Right! Pete was used to weird shit happening. He was used to puddles talking to him, and soda cans doing the fucking can-can (get it, can-can? Hallucinations could be clever, Pete had to admit). He was used to shit he knew was real, wasn’t possible, happening to him. He was used to it, and he knew how deal with it, and-
But something like this had never happened before.
He’d been walking through the city, unable to sleep, even though the sun was starting to rise already, and Pete hadn’t slept yet. Just walked. Very classic situation for Pete to be in. Tripping out on shrooms, kind of enamoured by the cracks in the sidewalk and the glow of the street lights. The less classic situation was the part where the city sort of- changed, right before his eyes. Not the way that it normally changed- no Alice in Wonderland shenanigans here. Nothing even talked to him. Things just… changed. A crack in the sidewalk moved a couple of inches forward. A light that was definitely green changed to red, with no yellow light in between. Somebody who had been across the street from him suddenly disappeared. It was subtle enough that Pete maybe wouldn’t have even noticed, if he wasn’t used to noticing the little changes his brain made all the time.
And, okay, maybe the giant fucking robot that appeared in the street would’ve been a major hint, too.
It wasn’t all that giant, really. The height of the streetlights, maybe. But it was fucking weird, and bigger than most of Pete’s hallucinations. And it wasn’t looking at him, or talking to him, or anything that normally happened. The robot was just sort of there, trying to throw a parked car at- Well, at a weird guy, wearing some sort of red onesie. With a stick. Or something. And, again, Pete was used to seeing weird shit. Not only because of the whole tripping and hallucinating thing- but also just because of the whole New York thing. It was New York! Weird shit happened! But giant robots throwing cars did not count as normal weird shit. And Pete still wasn’t sure if it was real or not.
Although, Pete normally didn’t hallucinate that the weird shit hurts him. And, well, it certainly did hurt, when some of the glass from the thrown car hit him.
“Fuck this shit,” Pete said, mostly to himself.
There was a giant robot throwing cars and it was real.
“Why the hell aren’t you gone?” The weird red guy said. “Get out of here before you get hurt!”
Oh, right. And there was the weird red guy. Who was also probably real, considering the fact that he was fighting the definitely real robot.
“I thought it wasn’t real!” Pete yelled, and then realised that probably sounded insane. “I’m high as fuck right now!”
Okay, yeah, that totally saved it.
“Well, it’s real!” The red guy yelled, as he hit the robot again. “So- get out of here! Seriously! It’s hard to save your ass and also fight this stupid thing!”
The robot, despite being whacked by the red guy’s stick thing, still looked pretty fucking strong.
“You haven’t saved my ass even once,” Pete pointed out. “I got attacked by glass.”
Pete kinda felt bad for the red guy. Stick vs metal robot was not a good match, really.
“Well, then, it’s hard to talk to you and also fight this stupid thing!” The red guy said, as he dodged a thrown lamppost. The lamppost left a huge dent in the road.
Okay, Pete should probably actually get home, maybe. The robot was real. The weird red guy was real. The danger was real.
“I’m going, I’m going,” Pete said, as he started to run. “I’ll leave you to fight the freaky robot. Have fun!”
And then the robot threw a fucking car right at Pete.
“Fuck my life,” Pete said, as he watched the car soar right at him, in what felt like slow motion. “And fuck you too,” he added, glaring at the car.
And then the car was on fire. Was that a hallucination? Well, maybe, but then the car was suddenly being sent away from Pete, landing in the asphalt with a huge crash. So, not a hallucination. What the fuck.
“Why didn’t you say you had powers?” The red guy asked, running up to Pete. “Or, you know, just do that earlier?”
“I don’t have powers,” Pete said. “No one has powers.”
“This is New York, man,” the red guy said. “You don’t have to hide your powers. At least, not from me. Or from giant robots.”
“I don’t have powers,” Pete said, again. “And giant robots aren’t real, either. Not normally. Why the fuck was there a massive robot?”
“Why are you lying?” Daredevil asked. “I felt you use powers. The car did a 180 and flew away from you. Are you- are you after me?”
Pete blinked, staring at the guy who looked like he might attack him. “After you? Dude, I was just on a walk.”
“Then why pretend you don’t have powers?” Daredevil asked.
“I don’t!” Pete said, backing up. “I’m not after you, and I don’t have powers, and giant robots aren’t real!”
“You really are high, huh?” The red guy asked, thankfully looking less like he was about to kick Pete’s head off. “It’s New York. Giant robots end up here every day. And mobsters with powers, and evil assassins, and crazy magic, and-“
“You’re a hallucination,” Pete decided. “Or maybe I’m dreaming. My dreams are always fucked up.”
“Have you… seriously never heard of any of this?” The red guy asked. “We had aliens in New York like, last week.”
“Aliens?” Pete asked. “No. Nope. Never heard of aliens. Or giant robots. Or weirdos dressed in red spandex.”
“Not knowing me, that makes sense,” the red guy said. “I’m kinda an underground vigilante. Not as flashy as The Avengers or anything.”
“The who?” Pete asked.
“See,” the red guy said. “You should definitely know who The Avengers are.”
“No clue,” Pete said. He paused. “But, seriously, who are you?”
“Daredevil,” the red guy said. “Crime fighter. Also wanted by the law, but I promise I won’t hurt you.”
“Fuck cops,” Pete said, immediately. This guy being wanted by the cops immediately made him way more likeable. Probably for like- vandalism or whatever.
Daredevil laughed. “Okay, good. We can agree on that.”
“Should we… get away from the on fire car and melted robot?” Pete asked.
“Probably,” Daredevil said. “But- I seriously want to talk to you more. Because- how the hell do you not know The Avengers?”
“No one knows The Avengers,” Pete said. “Like, I’ve never heard anyone say that before today. Honest.”
“Huh,” Daredevil said. He started leading Pete down the street, heading… somewhere. “That’s strange. Really strange.”
“And, I mean, I don’t always pay attention to news,” Pete said. “But I’m pretty sure I woulda noticed an evil villain in the headlines.”
“But you haven’t?” Daredevil asked.
“Not once,” Pete said. “Not until I blinked and suddenly- boom, you and that robot were in front of me.”
“Wait,” Daredevil said. “You didn’t… see me chase the robot there?”
“Nope,” Pete said, popping the ‘p’. “You just kinda appeared.”
“And you didn’t think to mention that?” Daredevil asked.
Pete shrugged. “Weird shit happens to me, man.”
“Like the ‘lighting a car on fire and throwing it across the street’ thing?” Daredevil asked.
“Not quite like that,” Pete said. “Just- weird stuff. Hallucinations. My brains fucked. And I’m high. Whatever.”
“Being high doesn’t explain the fire thing,” Daredevil said. “Are you sure didn’t get hit by any radioactive waste, or anything?”
Pete laughed. “The first thing you think of is radioactive waste?”
“I mean, it’s how a lot of people get their powers,” Daredevil said, trailing off.
Pete frowned. “Dude, are you radioactive?”
“Not currently!” Daredevil cried out. “But- I may have come into contact with radioactive waste. As a kid.”
“Shouldn’t that have killed you?” Pete asked.
“Maybe?” Daredevil said. “But- most radioactive stuff just gives you powers.”
“Yeah, that’s not- No,” Pete said. “That’s not how that works.”
“It is, though,” Daredevil said. “I know like, five other people who got powers from radiation. We have a text chain.”
Pete laughed, unable to help it. “You have a radiation group chat?”
“You don’t?” Daredevil asked.
“I’m not in any group chats,” Pete said. Fuck, that sounded depressing. “But, well, I guess my doctor once accidentally made a group chat while trying to text me about availability, but- yeah, that doesn’t matter.”
Daredevil stopped walking. Pete nearly walked into him.
“We’re here,” Daredevil said.
Pete laughed again. “You brought me to fucking Burger King?”
“I’m hungry,” Daredevil said. “And you look like shit.”
“Thanks,” Pete said. And then he paused, before he could walk inside. “Wait a fucking second, isn’t this a pizza place?”
“What?” Daredevil asked. “It’s been a Burger King for years.”
“This- this isn’t right,” Pete said. “This is the pizza place that served me half a finger on a slice.”
“No, this is the Burger King where the raccoon won a fistfight,” Daredevil said.
“I-“ Pete said. The heavy feeling of being unsure if something was real or not, was something he was familiar with. That didn't make it feel any less weird. “No. I’m certain. This is a pizza place. Powers aren’t real. The street name changed-“
“Look,” Daredevil said. “Let’s get a burger, and then we can talk and figure out what the fuck is going on.”
“Okay,” Pete said, trying to take a deep breath. “Okay, yeah, okay.”
Daredevil opened the door, and Pete walked inside with him.
“Wait,” Pete said. “Are they chill with you just- buying burgers in your little outfit?”
“It’s New York,” Daredevil said. “Nobody cares.”
“True,” Pete said, with a laugh. “True, true, true.”
They walked inside and Daredevil ordered a couple of burgers, and some fries. Pete wasn’t really paying attention. Instead, he focused mostly on taking as many little condiment packets as he could. They had hot sauce. Score. And after grabbing some drink from the fountain machine- Pete did the thing where he put in a bit of every single drink in the fountain, because that fit the vibe for what the fuck was happening right now. It was insane and weird and a little bitter tasting, y’know? Hence the mess of soda in his cup. With no ice. It wasn’t an ice kind of day. It wasn’t a day at all. It was night. Even though- the sun was all the way risen, now, Pete realised, as he went to go find a seat. Fuck. Pete was tired, was the thing. He was tired, and he was confused- and, he was apparently so tired that he didn’t even notice another guy in a fucked up costume (black and white, this time) sitting at a table with a normal looking woman. Daredevil sure did notice, however.
“Punisher,” Daredevil said, flatly. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Eating a burger,” the Punisher guy said.
What the fuck were those names, man? Pete had no idea.
“Are you burgerphobic?” The woman sitting with The Punisher asked.
“No,” Daredevil said, holding up his own burgers. “Who is this?”
“No one,” Punisher said.
“I’m from another dimension,” the woman said at the exact same time.
“Oh,” Daredevil said. “And you decided to hang out with a murderer why, exactly?”
“Like you’re any better,” The Punisher said.
But Pete wasn’t paying attention to them.
“Another dimension, you say?” Pete asked. “Like- another New York, without superheroes and giant robots and shit?”
“Exactly,” the woman said. “Are you… not from here, either?”
“I dunno,” Pete said. “I looked up and suddenly there was a robot.”
The woman laughed. “And your New York, did it have any magic at all?”
“No magic,” Pete said. “Unless hallucinations count as magic.”
“Wait,” the woman said. “Is this a pizza place in your New York?”
“Yes!” Pete cried out. “Thank you! Finally someone knows their shit!”
The woman laughed. “Now we just need to figure out how the fuck to get back to that universe with a pizza place.”
“Even if it’s a shitty pizza place,” Pete added.
The woman frowned. “How the hell are we meant to do that?”
“I know someone who can help,” Daredevil piped up. “I think.”
“Who?” The woman asked.
“A wizard,” Daredevil said. As if that was a normal thing to say.
Great, Pete thought. Help from a wizard. He seriously needed to get back to his universe, jesus. If any of this was even real at all. Fuck.