Chapter Text
Warnings: throwing up, coarse language, slight panic attack/mentions of a panic attack
November 5th 1988, 11:06PM
‘Dear Diary
I haven't written in a few months. Mom says my spelling has been getting better, and even though I still spell some words wrong, I’m very pleased with myself about it.
It's really been a year since we defeated Vecna, and I am so glad we are all safe now. The party has been spending time together a bunch, and Will even taught me how to play DND. We all play together now. Me, Dustin, Will, Mike, Lucas, and even Max. Things have been very fun. Life has been fun. I've finally been able to go to school, and it's so much better than Caloforna California. I’m having so much fun with everyone.
Me and Mike broke up a bit after defeating Vecna. We both love each other, but not in that way, we just decided we need to be independent. We are very close now and still hang out often. Sometimes Mike comes over for sleepovers with me and Will, and we play board games and watch movies, and it's very fun.
Will and Jonathan are amazing brothers, they are both very caring and kind. Joyce is a good mom, too. And Hop is a great dad. He finally got his job back as the chief of police after we got away from Dr Kay and her Men. The government gave him back the job after we told them about how Hop was taken away after the ‘mall fire’ to a Russian prison. It took some convincing, but they believed us. They also finally let me go, I just had to promise that I will never ever use my powers for bad intentions or against anyone no matter what. I’m glad they understand and trust me. I’m happy with my family. We are all happy. We are a big family, yes, but we are all happy.
I’ve noticed something wrong with Will though. He always looks tired. Sometimes at night, I hear him throwing up or crying in the bathroom. He always just tells me that he feels sick, or ate something bad, but I know he’s not telling the truth. Jonathan has seemed to notice that something is wrong, too. He’s always by Will's side and making sure he is okay. I hope Will is okay. I don’t like seeing him hurt. I wish he would talk to me. Maybe I will ask Jonathan about it, or tell mom and dad that I am worried, so they can keep an eye on him too.
I have got to go now, I will try to write again soon. I hope that Will will be okay tomorrow. We are going to Mikes with the whole party to play DND and watch movies to celebrate the anaversary anniversary of Vecna's defeat. I hope he won’t be tired. I hope he will have fun.
Goodnight.
- Jane’
Jane gently placed her sparkly purple pen (gifted to her by Joyce) back in her fluffy purple pen holder,(gifted by Joyce as well) closed up her purple sparkly notebook (also gifted to her by Joyce) and placed it back into her desk drawer. She has her own room, even though the house Hop and Joyce bought is a bit small. Unlike her old room in Hops cabin, this room is decorated nicely, almost like her room in California.
Her closet is filled with dresses and clothes that she likes. Joyce takes her out for girl days often, and she and Max go to the mall lots. Her walls have posters of music artists that she enjoys. Max got her into Kate Bush, too. Jane likes her because her music basically saved Max’s life, but she also likes her because she enjoys her music. Her bed has cute purple bedsheets. Purple with white polkadots. She also has a stuffed bear on her bed next to her pillow.
Jane loves her room. It's where she and Max hang out all the time, lying on the bed reading Wonder Woman comics and listening to whatever songs play on the radio on her desk. Jane loves spending time with Max, she's her best friend, and she's so insanely happy that they both survived and are re-taking the school year together because of the 18 months they missed in 1986-87’.
A small bang on the wall dividing the bathroom and her bedroom snaps her out of her train of thought about what hairstyle she loves doing the most, or something along those lines. As bored and curious as she is, not intending to fall asleep any time soon, she slowly exits her room and creeps into the hallway. It's dark at this time of night, the low moon light seeped through the window at the end of the hall, illuminating the walls in a pretty blue. It was also quiet. Too quiet.
She tip-toed her way to the bathroom, her socks padding along the hard wood floor and gently pressed her ear against the door, careful to be as quiet as she could. On the other side she can hear a faint shuffling sound and sniffles. It’s Will.
Unsure of what she should do, she gently presses her fingers to the door and taps twice on the cold wood, loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough that nobody else can hear it.
When she got no response, she tried again. “Will?”
A pause.
After what felt like an eternity, she tapped the wood again, slightly louder this time.
“Will?.. Are.. are you alright?...”
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Will woke up in a cold sweat, his body shooting up and gasping for air like he’d been suffocating. ‘Of course’ he thought to himself, wiping sweat off of his forehead and leaning his body against his other arm. ‘another damn nightmare. Christ.’ His eyes were shut so tight he was sure they’d get glued together, but he was so terrified that if he opened his eyes again, that nightmare of a creature would appear in front of him again. Still gasping for air, Will dragged himself out of bed and towards the bathroom to fix himself up.
Even though it was winter, he was still so damn hot. He wore a t-shirt and shorts to bed and slept on top of the covers. No jumper, No socks, Not even the heater was on. Yet still every single night, no matter how freezing cold his body was, even if he felt like he would actually get frozen in place, he didn't get ‘warmer’. He already felt hot. It didn't make sense. He was absolutely sick of it.
The chilly air in the hallway hit him like a slap in the face. Not even a slap in the face. A big, fat, forceful punch in the face. A kick in the face, if you will. The numbing wooden floor creaked under his feet that he dragged along with him. It was so cold to step on that it actually hurt putting pressure on his feet. Sucking air through his grit teeth, he slowly made his way to the bathroom and gently clicked the door shut behind him. The floor was even colder here. That’s just great, isn't it.
Leaning his arms against the sink cabinet, he looked at himself in the mirror. Despite trying to ignore it. And when he looked, he was actually horrified. His hair was a mess, his body was trembling, freezing. His lips were close to purple, and his skin was so pale that it made the spots under his eyes look black. He looked absolutely awful. Before he could form another thought, his stomach turned. He was about to throw up for probably the tenth time this week. Shit. Memories flew around his mind, as if his mind was stuck in a tornado. That week in the upside down, the vine that was shoved down his throat, suffocating him. The gooey, slug creature that he threw up in his bathroom sink, which a few months later he discovered was a baby demogorgon. The way he felt hiding out in castle byers. Small, vulnerable, terrified, cold, fearful, the thought that he would never make it out alive.
It's like the memories were forced into his mind with a sick and twisted feeling of disgust. He coughed into the sink, careful to be quiet as his sister was probably peacefully sleeping in the room right next to him. He gagged and coughed up what looked like a baby demogorgon.
“Shit.” Will whispered between coughs, before choking on his breath and coughing up another one.
His heart was beating so rapidly he thought it would jump out of his body. How was this even possible? The last time this happened was years ago.
He gasped for air, but he felt like he couldn't breathe, like he was drowning. He gagged, once more, twice more, and actually threw up something normal this time instead of baby demogorgons.
As he washed the sink out, he thought to himself slightly annoyed, but mostly concerned for his health.
‘How is this possible??’
‘I knew the connection was never truly broken, but I didn't think it was this bad’
‘What is wrong with me??’
‘Why am I like this???’
‘Should I.. tell someone?..’
He broke down in choked up sobs, his trembling body giving out and dropping to the floor, making him bang his head against the wall that connects to Jane's room.
Will hissed through his teeth, biting his bottom lip down so hard to try stop sobs from breaking out of his throat, that it almost started bleeding. ‘Shit’
His body was weak and heavy. It was so cold that it was turning numb.
Tears uncontrollably spilled down his face while he just lay there on the floor, too tired to try anything.
Through all the sniffling and uneven breaths, he almost didn't hear the light, gentle taps on the other side of the door. It was Jane, it had to be.
A quiet, muffled voice traveled through the door, the single word gave him enough comfort and reassurance alone that he would be alright.
“Will?...”. He wanted to respond. He wanted so badly but he couldn’t.
His ears were slightly ringing and his vision was blurry. He was surprised he could hear someone so quiet.
The girl tapped again, more clearly the second time, though he didn't realise the difference “Will??” She sounded so concerned. So insanely worried.
“Are you… are you alright??..”
He couldn’t help but let out a raw sob, allowing more tears to escape his eyes, drying them out.
The girl gently opened the door, peeking her head in, looking for her brother in the darkness.
When she spotted the shadow of a figure on the floor, she quietly slipped into the room, locking the door behind her and switching on the light to see clearer.
When she saw the state of her brother, she went into full absolute panic mode.
“Will!! Oh my gosh oh my gosh!! are you okay!!!?!?!?” she whispered roughly through her teeth, kneeling next to him and holding his face in her hands, gently wiping his tears away and brushing the messy hair out of his face.
“Hey hey, hey… Will.. Will! It's okay. I'm here, I'm here and I’m not leaving you. What's going on?” Hearing his sister's concerned voice, Will tried his best to steady his voice. Obviously, it didn't work well. “It's…. It's nothing Jane dont.. Don't worry.. Don’t worry I’m fine, it's fine..” He spoke wavery, choking out the words between sobs.
It really, truly felt like he was being held back from saying anything. But.. Why? That's what he couldn't understand. What's holding him back from telling his sister about his genuinely life threatening, absolutely terrifying, straight out of a horror movie nightmares that have been bothering him for weeks straight? He wants to tell her, he really does, but it's like he’s being controlled, like he's…
Like he's being.. controlled…
Being… controlled….
CONTROLLED…
The realization hit him like a kick, right in the stomach. Yep, another kick.
It hit him so hard that he started actually choking on his breath and coughing violently. He had never seen his sister's face filled with so much worry.
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After his breath finally evened out, Jane lifted him up and helped him sit, leaning his back against the wall. He was still sobbing silently, and she felt awful that she didn’t know how to help him feel okay again.
Noticing his cold shivers, she pulled off her hoodie over her head and put it over his body. Despite not wanting it, Will let her do it.
The siblings sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them wondering who would break the silence. The one to break it was Jane, her voice was soft and comforting, like music to Will's ears.
“Are.. are you alright? Will?..” She gently squeezed his hand, looking into his eyes with worry and patience.
Jane had always been caring, even to people she barely knew. She's so kind to everyone and yet people were still horrible to her when she was young. She is so full of love, so full of care and understanding.
Will thinks he doesn't deserve her. He's so lucky to have her as his sister. She's one of the only people that truly understands him.
Really, truly understands him.
“It's fine, Jane, really… I just… I just had some stupid nightmare.. It’s nothing, really!.. You should get back to sleep-” before he could finish his sentence, Jane cupped her hands over his mouth and spoke firmly, but still full of love.
“No. Will, something is wrong and I want you to tell me. Friends don’t lie. Family don’t lie.” She smiled softly, cupping his face with one hand, gently wiping his tears away. “and I am worried. I’m very worried about you. I don’t like seeing you hurt, Will. I want you to feel better. Okay?”
Through tears, he nodded, leaning into her touch and sniffling silently. He really wanted to tell her what was wrong. About the heat, the nightmares, the memories, but he can't.
He just can't.
“Maybe.. Maybe tomorrow.. Please? I just.. I just need to get some sleep I think.”
He hoped he sounded convincing enough. Surely he didn’t, but she let him have it. She let out a shaky breath and rubbed his shoulder to give him warmth, or to at least attempt to. “Alright. Tomorrow then.” she smiled softly and held his hand once more, helping to his feet. “Now let’s get you to bed. I won't leave until I know you’re asleep, okay?”
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The next morning was full of excitement. It wasn’t only the party celebrating the anniversary of Vecna's defeat, but also the Byers-Hopper family. Jane isn't sure what the families even called. Hop says he’ll propose to Joyce soon, but it's taking a while. Jane's getting impatient. So is Jonathan and Will.
Jonathan was at the countertop preparing pancake toppings, Joyce was at the stove, preparing the most delicious pancakes in the whole world, along with some waffles, too. The best waffles ever made in the whole world, according to Jane. Everyone knows who the waffles are for, it’s not even a question at this point.
And Hopper. Hopper being Hopper, at the countertop opposite Jonathan, preparing a cup of coffee. Jane is contemplating getting rid of his coffee grounds and feeding it to the squirrels.
“Look who’s up! Hey sweetie, how did you sleep? I’m making you some waffles! I know they’re your favourite.” Joyce was in a good mood this morning, a really good mood. She was smiling so wide that Jane thought she might crack her face in half.
“Hey mom. I slept okay. How did you sleep?” Jane shuffled across the kitchen and gave her mother a side hug. It really feels like Joyce has always been her mother, ever since she first met her she’s been nothing but kind to her, always making sure she was okay, like her real mother.
“Oh, I slept okay darling. I was so excited for today. I can't believe it's been a year already! I just hope Will is okay, I know how sensitive he is about today..”
Overhearing the conversation, Jonathan turns to face the rest of the family. “I hope so, too. I’m sure he’ll be okay, we should probably keep an eye on him though, just in case.”
Hopper spoke up now, his voice still raspy from sleep. He must’ve just woken up too. “The kid’s sensitive to this stuff, let's check up on him, yeah?” He turned away to pour his scolding hot coffee, the strong smell instantly flooded the kitchen. “Let him sleep a bit longer though. We can surprise him with this breakfast and hopefully cheer him up.”
The family continued on with their mornings, Jane and Jonathan prepared the table nicely, while their parents bickered about something stupid. Probably Hopper's obsession with Coffee, despite getting enough sleep at night.
Just about everyone was about to sit down, Joyce spoke up while setting the food in the center of the table and heading towards the kitchen to wipe down the counter and make some cups of tea. “Oh! Right! Jane, honey, could you go wake up your brother for me? And Jonathan, please come and help me prepare the tea, darling, thanks kids.”
Jane stood up excitedly and skipped towards Will's room. She was wearing her new purple flannel dress, the one her and Max got matching when they went to the mall the other day. It was her first time wearing it since she bought it, and she was so excited to show Will, and especially excited to see Max wearing her matching version at the hangout today. Max never really wore dresses, but today she's doing it just for Jane, which made her really happy.
Standing in front of Will's door, she brought her hand up and knocked excitedly. She expected to hear something like “Let me sleep”, or “go away!” through the door, but it was oddly silent. Really silent. She knocked again, faster this time. “Will? Hey, are you alright?’
Silence.
She tried again, this time more urgent, more worried.
“Will? Will! Hey, helloooooooooouuu!!” again, it was silent. “Will, hey, I'm coming in, ok?”
Her hand covered the cold metal door knob, slowly turning it and gently pushing the door forward, waiting for him to complain or stop her, but he didn't. It was silent, very concerningly silent.
When she pushed open the door, freezing cold air flew through and traveled down the hallway, making Jane shiver instantly.
In an attempt to fully open the door, it banged against something. Jane paused, shock and worry filling her stomach and twisting her heart tight. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
She shoved the door harder this time, anxiously preparing herself for something to pop out of the corner, for Will to come out and tell her it was a stupid prank.
It was heavy, like something was blocking it or leaning against it.
When she finally got the door open, she was faced with something that looked like some sort of crime scene..
With her heart beating fast, her eyes darted around the room.
Will's dresser was knocked to the floor, blocking the entryway. The window was smashed and there was glass everywhere around it. Papers were scattered all across the floor. The walls and floor were covered in some sort of black substance. The same black substance was seeping through cracks on the wall, floor and ceiling. Will's mattress looks like it was lifted off of the bed frame and shifted, like something grabbed it and didn't let go. Her eyes were fixed on the bed. When she realised what had happened she actually thought her heart had stopped.
Where is Will?...
Where
Is
Will?
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Jane's horrifying gut wrenching scream echoed through the house as she ran down the hallway to her family.
“Mom!!! MOM!!!!!!”
She sounded like she had just seen a ghost, she was screaming so loud that her voice box might break. She looked like she’d seen a ghost, too.
Her skin was pale, her eyes wide, a flood of tears running down her face and drowning her shirt sleeves as she frantically wiped them away. She was running so fast she nearly tripped over and went flying into Joyce. It was truly terrifying to witness.
Joyce, on the other hand, immediately entered ‘mom mode’, as what Hopper called it. Dropping everything she ran over to Jane and cupped her face in her hands, caressing her cheek in an attempt to calm her down, even though she was just as scared and confused as Jonathan and Hop.
“What's wrong sweetie? Jane? Honey, what's wrong, come here, what's the matter??”
Jane's words sounded slurred and muffled through her sobs, she was talking so fast they could barely understand her.
“He's gone!! Will!! Will he’s gone!! Mom, he's gone! He's gone mom!!”
Joyce’s heart fell straight to her feet. She had gone through this once and she didn't think she could survive it happening again.
“Jane, sweetie I need you to try and breathe, alright? Gone? Wha.. what do you mean he's gone????”
“He’s GONE, Mom!! He’s not in his room, and, and his room is a mess and he’s gone!! Mom he’s- he’s not there!!!”
Jonathan and Hopper, hearing the commotion, race to Will's room to see the scene.
Hopper burst open the door and his stomach dropped down to his feet, anxiousness filling the empty hole.
Jonathan froze in his place behind him and they both took in the scene. Every single detail.
The dresser was moved across the room to in front of the door, lying on the floor in such a way that it blocks the door from being able to open. Whatever did this was making sure nobody would make it there in time.
The bed frame was slightly moved away from its place against the wall, and the mattress was lifted off of the bed frame, almost falling to the floor. The window was smashed, like absolutely smashed. Glass was all over the floor near the window, along with blobs of a weird, black substance. It looked straight out of the upside down. But that's impossible, right?..
Hopper's eyes darted to the area surrounding the window. The wall, floor and ceiling had cracks, big, long cracks slowly spreading across the room. The black goo was creeping out of the cracks, like it was breaking into the room. It was nearly covering the floor, dripping down the wall and splashing to the floor from the ceiling.
Both Jonathan and Hopper seemed to notice the strangest thing of all at the exact same time, sharing a look of confusion and carefully making their way across the room, closer to the item.
On the floor, just underneath the window, were drawings.
The drawings that were made back in 84’.
Wills drawings.
Wills drawings that he made when he was possessed.
The drawings of the shadow monster.
The drawings of the map of the tunnels.
The drawings they surely got rid of after his possession, and if not then, then most definitely before they moved to California.
What are they doing in his room?
How are they in his room???
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At first, the party was annoyed that the three siblings were late to the hang out at the wheelers. They were running out of time to play DND, and Nancy, Robin and Steve were starting to get impatient with Jonathan. That was how they were, until they got a call.
The call.
The seven of them arrived at the Byers-Hopper house within 5 minutes. Half of them taking Nancy's car, the other half hopping in with Steve.
When they entered the house, it was absolute chaos. Breakfast was abandoned on the kitchen table. Jane and Jonathan were sitting in the living room corner, squished against each other and holding hands, both of them having what looked like a panic attack.
Hopper was in Will's room, investigating every corner, whispering to himself, -though the ‘whispers’ were pretty loud-, something about “Why him?? Why him, damnit.”, While Joyce was pacing the entire house looking like she was on the verge of a breakdown. Nobody could blame her, though.
They all looked awful. All sobbing, all pale, all absolutely terrified.
Nancy, as always, was the first to make their arrival known, offering comfort to the family in distress.
“Joyce! Oh my goodness!” She ran up to Joyce and wrapped her arms around her, trying to calm her down from the state she was in. “Are you alright? Is everyone okay? What happened??”
Nancy and Joyce are actually pretty close, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Especially after living together, they became a cute mother-daughter duo, even though they aren't actually mother and daughter.
Joyce has been a mother figure for most of the party, really. Especially because she was the only mother of the group to know about all the upside down and Vecna business, she was always there for anyone and everyone if they needed someone to talk to or if they ever felt scared, despite struggling with things herself. She’s truly amazing, actually.
While everyone else stayed back with Joyce, Jonathan and Jane trying to calm them down and understand what happened, Steve, Dustin and Mike joined Hopper in exploring Will's room, curious about what could be so terrifying about it.
Stepping in front of the open doorway, Steve got immediately hit with the strong, cold wind traveling through the shattered window and almost fell backwards because of it.
“Holy shit…” Dustin appeared from behind Steve, cautiously stepping into the room and taking it in.
“This is insane.. How.. how is this even possible?? We destroyed the upside down! And Vecna!! This makes no sense what the hell is going on!!”
Mike was absolutely spiraling, spilling out every new thought as he took in the room.
“And these drawings….!! These were thrown out back in 84’.. How the hell are they here??”
“Alright Wheeler, take it down a notch.” Hopper was kneeled on the floor near the window wearing gloves and goggles, investigating the black goo. “Whatever the hell happened here is definitely upside down related. I mean, look at this. What does this look like to you? Water?”
Steve stepped into the room last, looking at the ceiling and shielding himself from the black goo falling from above them. “Well we better get together and figure out what on earth happened because this is… its- its fuckin’ crazy, man.”