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Hello..! Many of you may know me by my previous username, @animerocks00 - a name i ultimately created when I was twelve and hazbin to lazy to change since.
△▼△▼n̶ ̶e̶ ̶v̶ ̶e̶ ̶r̶ ̶( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。) ̶m̶ ̶i̶ ̶n̶ ̶d̶ △▼△▼
Jokes aside..I feel inclined to explain to my readers here why I haven't been able to write as of late. I want to simply say sorry and leave it at that, if I ramble on it starts to feel like I'm making excuses for myself. I don't want to come off that way. My readers are perfectly capable of being angry with me, pitying me, or so on. It has officially been a year since I last logged onto Ao3, and two years since I last updated this fiction. There were even comments on my work that I hadn't seen. I know how it feels to wait an entire year for your favorite fanfic or fiction (etc) to update, hoping that the teen writer behind the screen won't forget about their writing forever and come back someday to continue it.
But, I never forgot. In all actuality, it was one of the main things weighing down on me and reminding that I am a failure at everything I do.
I have been diagnosed with Depression, OCD, and Anxiety. For the past year and a half, I have been seeing a therapist every two weeks and working on my mental health. It's been something that has been eating away at my physical health since the age of twelve as well. Recently, I've started to get into things I enjoy again. Anime, writing, drawing, reading, editing, etc. It's been a slow process, but it's progress. During my occasion spells, I realized that I probably let a lot of people down by promising to write this-and-that as a request, and seemingly never doing it. I hate feeling like this, and i hate possibly letting others down even more.
I watched the pilot episode for Hazbin Hotel on Halloween, and it rekindled my love for animation and Zoophobia. As weird as it may sound...I connected with Alastor and absolutely fell in love with his design. It motivated me greatly. It reminded me that there's a chance at redemption--that a promise isn't broken even if it's done later than now. I then realized that the reason these spells are so much more frequent is because I haven't been doing anything I enjoy..at all.
I'm going to start small, but it's a big step at the same time. I'm going to reboot this work and do my best to write more consistently. I have hope for myself, and even though I'm not in the position to ask..I hope that you can see room for improvement on my part as well.
Thank You.