Work Text:
Prompt: Survivor
The Ghoul saw the smoke first, but that wasn’t surprising. The Ghoul saw everything first. Giant ants with mandibles the size of her forearm. Those lizards that grew as big as the dog with razor sharp teeth whose bite hurt like the dickens and made her vision fuzzy. Huge roaches that the dog he called Dogmeat enjoyed ripping apart with her impressively sharp teeth that made her a little nervous…the teeth, that is. She seemed friendly enough when it came to Lucy, but she had no illusions about her belonging to anyone but the Ghoul no matter what he said about it.
A week of traveling through the wastes and Lucy still hadn’t gotten any meaningful information from him, other than they were heading towards New Vegas and that he had once known her father. To be fair, she hadn’t actually asked him any meaningful questions…had just followed him from the ruins of the Observatory, watching the members of the ‘complicated organization’ Max was a part of gleefully destroying everyone they came into contact with, whether or not they were dressed like soldiers.
He’d taken her backpack off of a corpse somewhere between the Observatory and wherever they were now, tossing it to her without a word and making her jump out of her own skin when it had thumped against her back. The canteen had come from a settlement. So had a couple of cans of Cram and soup that were starting to run out after days of walking. She tried not to eat too much…never said a word when her stomach growled and her vision went a little blurry when she stood up too soon. She drank as little as possible, only taking the smallest sips when she absolutely had to.
But she had to eat. And that was going to be a problem soon because she didn’t have any caps and she had a feeling he didn’t have many either, especially not after buying more of those vials of medicine he had to have. Just the night before, when she’d been lying on the ground at night, staring up at the stars and drifting off from sheer exhaustion, she’d wondered if she would go to sleep sometime soon and just not wake up…if hunger would be the thing that took her out. And that morning, when she’d woken to the sound of the Ghoul’s spurs jingling ever closer to her, ready to nudge her awake, it had been a struggle to sit up, waving away the boot before it could make contact.
He hadn’t been looking when she’d come to her knees…at least, she hoped he hadn’t. The last thing she needed was for him to start to regret bringing her along. But when she’d forced herself to her feet, the whole world had gone gray at the edges and she’d had to focus on her breathing to keep from toppling over again. She had a feeling that if she did, he might just keep walking.
Now the sight of smoke confused her at first because her sight had been going strange and a little blurry off and on as they’d walked, so she thought it might be that again. But she’d just split a couple of pieces of jerky with him which usually helped. The Ghoul was watching that same spot with a grim look on his already grim face, which led to the raspy question, “Is that real?”
He turned to her, the place where his eyebrows would have been furrowed. She was used to the way he looked now, she realized…didn’t even register the way his skin pulled taut over the bones in his face or the absence of a nose anymore. He was just The Ghoul to her. His actions might have been monstrous at times, but over the last few days, he seemed to have mellowed out at least a little. He hadn’t tied her up, at least, giving her the impression that she could leave if she wanted to. Not that she did. He was her only chance at finding her father again…at bringing him to justice.
“If you’re talking about the smoke, then yeah, it’s real.” He pulled out another piece of jerky…the last one, she thought, and held it out. “Eat that.”
She tore it in half without thinking, mind on Norm and their unspoken rule when it came to the last of something they both wanted, holding half of the jerky out to him as she stared at the smoke.
He just stared at it for long enough that she looked back at him and that unreadable look on his face. “You eat it,” he ordered. “I ain’t carrying you if you pass out.”
That, she absolutely believed.
She tried to eat slowly as they made their way towards what turned out to be a settlement in ruins, savoring every bite. The meat she was pretty sure was iguana was tough and relatively tasteless but she didn’t care. At the moment, it tasted like the best thing she’d ever eaten. But then she saw the first body, steps coming to a stumbling halt, eyes shooting to the Ghoul before she even realized what she was doing because he might be kind of mean and cranky and quiet most of the time, but she was starting to think that if she needed him, he might just help her, and he knew more about this place than she did.
He glanced over at her, taking in the look on her face and sighing. “Legion,” he told her. “They’re awfully far west, though…usually they stick to their own territory.”
“What…” Her voice croaked and she wondered when the last time she’d spoken this much was. She took a sip of her water, just the barest amount needed to wet her tongue from her nearly empty canteen, and swallowed. “What’s the Legion?”
She half expected him to ignore her based on the amount of answers she’d gotten the first time they’d traveled together, but to her surprise, he spoke as he started walking again.
“They’re just about the worst the wasteland has to offer. They act like they’re in the Roman army or some shit. Answer to Kaiser.”
She tilted her head. “Do you mean Ceaser? I believe a Kaiser is German.”
“Well, they’re a bunch of idiots, so yeah, they mean Ceaser. They dress up like Roman soldiers and put people up on crosses.” He nodded to the one of the corpses strung up on a makeshift cross, all of them erected in a circle, a fire smoldering in the middle. “As you can see.”
“Why?”
“Becuase they’re fucking monsters,” the Ghoul told her, distaste in his voice. “Start looking around for something we can eat. Take the buildings on the left. I’ll check the right. If you see anybody dressed like they’re in a Gladiator movie, shoot first and ask questions later.”
Lucy nodded, watching him and the dog walk off, then turned to do as she’d been told, hoping that she did, indeed, find something to eat. She would need to figure out how to make some caps…he’d been surprisingly generous when it came to sharing his food, but they were running out and she wanted to contribute too. Then maybe he’d be a little less grumpy. And she could buy some food. A lot of food. She allowed herself to daydream about it for a while as she walked, poking her nose into a building and looking around before going inside. She would buy them both full meals. Skewers of meat, hot and savory. And soup too, full of fresh vegetables. Some melon, cut into chunks. Apples, if they could find them. Sweet carrots. Eggs and sausage and hunks of bread, fresh from someone’s oven, slathered in butter. And for dessert, snack cakes. She’d buy two full packs of them, and she’d hand one to the Ghoul, and maybe that irritable look on his face would soften and…
She shook her head, wiping a hand over her face when she realized her mouth was literally watering. Besides, she thought, her brain must be malfunctioning because why was she thinking about the Ghoul smiling at her? She’d never once seen him smile apart from when he was actively mocking her. And she didn’t want him to smile at her. Why would she?
Lucy sighed, trying to focus. She needed to find either something she could eat or something she could sell, so after making sure no one in a Roman soldier outfit was waiting around to kill her, she went behind the long desk, glancing at the two shattered terminals, then crouched down, checking all the drawers. Most were empty, but she did find some pens, a clipboard, a chipped ceramic mug, and three bottle caps. That, at least, was something, and she pocketed the caps. Maybe that would buy her a single apple.
Half of the roof had collapsed, but she managed to crawl under some debris to what had once been a kitchen or some kind of break room. There was a refrigerator with a closed door which gave her a lot of false hope, but when she opened it, there was a single empty bottle inside, and she closed it with a disgusted sigh. In a cabinet, though, she did find two cans of Cram and a tube of potato chips, and immediately her stomach started growling at the thought of dipping the chips in the Cram and eating every last bite…but she wouldn’t do that, she told herself firmly, because she was going to share.
She climbed onto a counter to peer into the cabinets on top and found a box filled with ten caps and a little red inhaler that she pocketed, deciding that she probably ought to ask the Ghoul before she started inhaling mystery substances.
The next building she came to had once been an office and then maybe a meeting place? There were a few tiny bottles of alcohol tucked away and she stuck them in her backpack, figuring she could sell them. She found a bag of trail mix too, and a loaf of bread covered in mold in the back of a desk she left where it was, stomach groaning in disappointment.
The third building was a house that seemed relatively intact, so she searched the kitchen and smiled when she found two boxes of Blamco Mac and cheese. “Finally,” she whispered, tossing them in her bag, along with four whole cans of soup she was tempted to eat cold. Instead, she scanned the living room and what looked like a child’s bedroom, heart squeezing in her chest.
Downstairs was what looked like storage. Shelves full of old boxes half disintegrated and a couple of jars of preserves lined the walls. She took a jar labeled “peanut butter” and dropped it into her bag, not minding how heavy it was.
And then she heard a rustle in the corner and pulled her gun, heart pounding. She scanned the dark basement for a Roman soldier, whatever that meant. A sword? A shield? Maybe one of those helmets with a red fluffy thing on top? She couldn’t remember the name. The Roman Empire hadn’t been a very long unit in her curriculum.
Creeping forward, she made sure to watch her step, heart pounding in her ears. There was a door, she realized, half hidden behind a shelving unit full of cardboard boxes. She might not have seen it if the light hadn’t been coming in through the window at just the right angle. Slowly, she slid the shelf out of the way, then took the doorknob in her hand and yanked it open…
Only to find a little girl staring up at her, tears on her cheeks, huddled in the far back corner of what looked like a closet.
Heart dropping along with her gun, she put her free hand up and shoved the pistol into her holster. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, taking a step back. “I’m so sorry…I didn’t know anyone was in here. Are you okay? Were you trapped?”
The little girl stared at her, wide eyed and shaking, and Lucy crouched a little, trying to get closer to eye level. She had dark skin and her hair was a halo around her head, big brown eyes tracking Lucy like she might be a wild animal.
“My name is Lucy. I was passing through.”
She took another step back, back hitting the wall.
“I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. What’s your name?”
“Carla,” the girl breathed, eyes darting around like she was looking for an escape route.
“How old are you, Carla?”
She wrapped her arms around herself, voice still barely more than a whisper. “Nine. And a half.”
Lucy smiled. “Wow. Almost ten years old. Do you live here?”
She nodded.
“Are you thirsty?”
She nodded again. “I had water but I drank it.”
“Here.” Lucy held out her canteen, not nearly full enough for her liking, and watched the girl take a long drink, probably emptying it, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. “Do you know how long you’ve been down here?”
Carla shrugged, then froze when they both heard footsteps overhead. Lucy froze too for a second, then heard the telltale jingling of the spurs on the Ghoul’s booths and relaxed.
“It’s okay. It’s just my…friend. We’re traveling together. He won’t hurt you.”
He wouldn’t. She wouldn’t let him. And if he wanted to say something about her sharing her water with this little girl, she’d bite off another finger, consequences be damned.
“Vaultie, you get lost down here or what?" he called, sounding somewhere between resigned and irritated as usual. “Where the hell are you?”
“Over here,” she called, hoping he heard something in her voice that would keep him at least sort of friendly.
He sighed. “What, you decide to take a nap or something? Do your hair? You think we’ve got all damned day for this?”
She saw his legs first, then the rest of him came into view as he stepped off the bottom step and onto the concrete floor, the dog at his side as always. His mouth opened when he caught sight of her, probably about to say some kind of smart remark. But when she stepped to the side a little, his eyes landed on the little girl, hand dropping down to take the dog’s collar before she could move forward any more.
Whatever response she’d been expecting him to have to seeing a child hiding in a closet, it wasn’t his whole face softening, lips quirking into a smile that made her heart ache. “Ah. That’s what held you up. Hey there, sweetheart. You okay?”
Lucy had never once heard him sound like that, not even towards the dog, who he tended to be pretty nice to.
Carla nodded, glancing at Lucy as if for confirmation, and Lucy gave her the best smile she could manage.
“Somebody tell you to hide?” the Ghoul asked, sounding like he’d seen that a time or two.
“My dad,” she whispered, a tear running down her cheek.
He let out a breath and nodded to himself.
“He said…he said the Legion was coming and I had to hide or they’d take me.”
“That was smart of him. The Legion’s all gone now.”
“Is my dad dead?”
The Ghoul swallowed, looking sadder than Lucy had ever seen him, and it made him look so human it took her aback. “Yeah honey, I think he is.”
She dropped her head, more tears falling as she cried, shoulders shaking with her silent sobs.
“You have family anywhere else?” he prompted, still talking so gently as he moved closer, nearly standing right next to Lucy, the dog between them as Carla shook her head.
“No. Just my dad.”
He stared at the ground for a moment, seeming to weigh his options, then nodded to himself. “Alright. How about you come with us to the next settlement? I’ll bet there’s someone there that can look after you.”
Carla’s eyes darted to Lucy, and she moved without thinking, ducking into the closet and using her sleeve to wipe under her eyes. She watched, not flinching away, and Lucy counted that as a win. “Is there anything in the house you want to take? I can help you pack a bag?”
She nodded, sniffing softly and trying not to cry.
“I’ll wait outside,” the Ghoul told them, still gentle. “Kep an eye on things.”
Carla didn’t come out until he was gone, clutching Lucy’s offered hand and sticking close as the two made their way up the stairs. And once they were in her bedroom, she glanced at the door again. “He’s your friend?” she asked, unsure.
“Yes,” she lied a little. “We’re traveling together.”
“Is he nice?”
She thought about how it had felt when his knife had severed her index finger and nodded. “Yes. He’s nice. He won’t hurt you.” To her own surprise, she actually believed that. Maybe he had a soft spot for children. Children and dogs. She supposed that made sense.
When the little girl just stood in the middle of her room, overwhelmed and crying, Lucy got to work, finding a little knapsack and folding a few sets of clothes to put inside. She didn’t have much…just some clothes and a single teddybear, along with some books.
“Do you have a favorite book?” she asked, gesturing to the pile of them on her desk.
Carla wrapped her arms around herself and shrugged, so Lucy grabbed two at random, putting them in the knapsack too, along with the teddy bear. She didn’t think the Ghoul would be mean to the little girl, but he wasn’t usually very patient, so she wanted to hurry. Besides, she didn’t want to linger in this place where people that the Ghoul called monsters had been so recently.
After she’d finished packing, she put the knapsack on the girl’s back and led her towards the front door, hesitating before pulling her own backpack off and crouching so they were eye to eye. “Carla, we’re going to leave the settlement, okay? But there’s broken glass outside…can you climb on my back?”
The little girl nodded, and Lucy turned and knelt down so she could wrap her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist.
“Good. Now close your eyes. There’s a lot of smoke. I don’t want it to make you sick,” she ordered, thinking about bodies on crosses.
Carla buried her face in Lucy’s shoulder, nodding a little, tears soaking into Lucy’s shirt.
“Good. Stay right there. We’ll be out soon.”
The Ghoul waited for them on the porch, and when Lucy stepped outside, backpack in hand, his eyes went to the little girl first. “You keep your head down, eyes closed,” he told her. “Lots of smoke out here.”
They made it four steps before he reached out and took Lucy’s backpack from her hand without a word, slinging it over his shoulder and carrying it until the settlement was completely out of sight.
They made camp earlier than usual that night. Carla had been quiet the whole time, sticking close to Lucy, occasionally petting Dogmeat when she came over, sniffing the new member of their party curiously.
“You know how to build a fire?” he asked Carla, and she nodded, lips pressed together in a tight line. She’d stopped crying, at least, but Lucy’s canteen was empty and she knew the little girl had to be thirsty. “Think you can get a couple sticks?”
She nodded, jumping up and walking a few feet away to gather the sticks while Lucy pulled out the food she’d managed to find. He looked it over, then grabbed a couple of cans of soup.
“You got a cup?”
“Here.” Lucy pulled out two tin cups, looted from somewhere or another, and he portioned out some soup for cooking. “Can you give her some water?”
He pulled a can of purified water out of his bag and handed it over. “Drink that.”
Lucy blinked at him, then shook her head. “No, Carla,” she clarified, keeping her voice low.
He put the can in front of her, then pulled out a second one. “That’s all I’ve got. We’ll try to find more tomorrow. Drink it.”
She took a sip, then a gulp, unable to help herself, just as Carla returned with a handful of sticks.
“Thanks, honey. You can put them there.” He pointed, then handed her a can of water. “Try not to drink it all at once.”
The three of them ate soup around the fire, then, when the Ghoul put it out, she curled up on her side, the dog curling up beside her. Lucy sat behind her, a hand on her back, as she cried into her arms until she fell asleep. And then Lucy stretched out behind her, staring at the stars for a long time, feeling heavy and sad and still hungry.
The next morning, the jingling of the Ghoul’s spurs woke her, and she stared blearily up at the pink and purple sky, the rising sun painting it colors she’d never imagined. Beside her, the little girl slept with her face buried in her side, one hand clutching Lucy’s vault suit, and she let out a sigh, remembering all at once what had happened.
They ate Cram and chips for breakfast. Certainly not the most nutritious food for a child, but Lucy figured it was better than nothing. She remembered breakfast with her family…eggs or oatmeal during the week, cereal on weekends, even when she got older. Watching a holotape on the sofa with her brother and father on Saturday mornings and sleeping in a little on Sundays, luxuriating in the feeling of being wrapped in a blanket in bed for an extra hour.
“Ms. Lucy?” Carla asked a few miles in, walking on her own now, her little backpack sitting on her back. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, but she’d eaten her breakfast with the determined set to her shoulders that told Lucy she was trying to be brave.
“Yes?”
“Is that a Vault suit?”
She nodded. “It is.”
“So…are you from a Vault?”
“I am,” Lucy told her.
“Vault 33?”
“That’s right.”
“My dad told me about Vaults. Was yours…bad?”
She bit her lip, thinking for a moment. “It…it wasn’t bad. When I lived there, I thought it was really nice, actually. But…I don’t want to live there anymore.”
“How come?”
Lucy stepped over a pile of rocks, reaching out to help Carla do the same. The Ghoul, of course, had no trouble navigating the rough terrain, and neither did the dog, but he had slowed down some. “Becuase…the Vaults are run by bad people.”
“So you ran away?”
“Yeah. I ran away.”
“Were you scared?”
“I was really scared. I had no idea what things were like up here. I’d never even seen the sun before.” That, while not technically true, was true enough.
“There weren’t any windows?” she asked, aghast, and Lucy had to smile.
“No windows. We were underground.”
She was quiet for a while, and Lucy thought for a moment before asking “do you go to school?”
“Yeah. We had a school a lot of us went to. I know how to read, even though some grown ups don’t, and I can write too.”
“That’s good.”
“And we had books about what life was like before the war. Most of them were only burned a little. We had to take turns reading them and we had to be really careful so we didn’t rip them. Did you have school in the Vault?”
“We did. I taught school in the Vault,” she told her with a smile.
“Really?” she asked, wide eyed.
She nodded. “Yes. I was a history teacher.”
The Ghoul turned at that, brows raised.
“I like history. Did you teach the little kids or older kids? I was in school with the little kids but next year I’ll be in with the bigger kids.”
“I taught seven and eight year olds.”
“I thought about being a teacher when I grow up, but I like animals too, and there are people that work with animals all the time.” Then, “Did you have a family in the Vault? Like…a husband and kids? Lots of people have kids when they get married, but some people can’t.”
Her lips twitched. “I did have a husband.” Never mind that the particulars of that marriage weren’t something she was going to share with a little girl. Again, she felt the Ghoul’s eyes on her and ignored him. “But we didn’t have children. And I have a little brother and a cousin. My brother and my cousin are still in the Vault.”
“What about your husband?”
Lucy hesitated, hoping this wasn’t going to upset the little girl again, but she knew it was better to be honest with children. “He, um…he died,” she told her gently.
Carla just nodded sagely, like she knew all about that. Which, Lucy thought, living up here, she probably did. “What was he like?”
“He was…um…” She pressed her lips together, trying to think. “He wasn’t very nice,” she settled on saying.
“Then why did you marry him?”
“I didn’t know he wasn’t very nice when I married him,” Lucy told her with a smile.
“There was a lady named Mrs. Rochester who had a big farm at the end of the street and she got married to her husband, but then she left him and my mom said it was because he hit her. Is that what happened?”
She nodded, pressing an absent hand to her stomach where the scar from the knife wound still marred her skin. “Kind of.”
This time when she glanced down at Carla, she caught the Ghoul’s contemplative gaze following her hand.
“Did you have lots of food in the Vault?” she asked then.
“Sometimes. We grew a lot of our own food, and we had to ration it so everyone could have enough.”
“Last year, our crops didn’t grow good because of bugs. Did that ever happen in the Vault?”
“We did have famines sometimes, but not bugs.”
“Were there any animals in the Vaults?”
“Nope. No animals.”
“None?” she asked, aghast.
“None,” she confirmed.
“Did you know about animals?”
Lucy nodded. “We had pictures in books.”
“What about birds?”
“Nope.”
“Fish?”
“Nope.”
“Lizards?”
The Ghoul huffed out what sounded like a laugh and Lucy smiled. “Nope. No birds or fish or lizards or cats or dogs or pigs or sheep or horses or unicorns…”
Carla laughed. “Unicorns aren’t real. They’re from stories.”
“Really?” Lucy feigned shock. “What about dragons?” If there was one thing kids loved more than asking questions, she knew, it was teaching adults something.
“No, they’re not real either.”
“Huh…I’ll have to tell my brother. He used to be scared of dragons. He wouldn’t even get out of bed if it was dark because he was afraid there might be one under his bed.”
She giggled, then confided, “I used to be scared of scorpions, but they’re real.”
“They sting, right?” Lucy asked, trying to remember the pictures she’d seen of them in books.
“Mhm. And they’re this big.” She held her hands out wide, and Lucy cocked her head.
“Really?”
“Yeah. One time, they killed a bunch outside of the settlement and we all ate them.”
At the moment, Lucy thought she’d be happy to eat just about anything, including giant scorpions.
“Mr. Ghoul?” Carla asked then, voice a lot more hesitant this time, and Lucy watched his lips twitch.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Are you from a Vault too?”
“No, I am not.”
“Then where did you meet each other?”
“A little town called Filly,” he told her, thankfully not elaborating.
“Where are you going?”
“New Vegas.”
“Is it true they have electric lights there like before the war?”
“It used to be. I haven’t been in quite a while.”
“Why are you going now?”
“We’re looking for someone,” he told her easily, and Lucy wondered if she could have been asking questions this whole time or if Carla only got a pass for being a child. But she kept asking questions and he kept answering, Lucy tuning out the conversation when her eyes started to droop and her limbs started to feel like lead. She’d given Carla the rest of her own water at some point, and when they stopped to eat again, she poured most of her portion into the little girl’s cup, watching her devour the soup and wishing she could open another can and eat the whole thing.
“Are you married?”
Lucy blinked a few times, realizing she must have closed her eyes, and turned to Carla who was looking between the two of them.
“Um…no. Not anymore. My husband died,” she reminded her.
“No, I know. I meant to each other.”
Her jaw dropped, and she had to swallow an incredulous laugh. But she couldn’t very well say that the man who she’d called her friend barely seemed to tolerate her most days, so she just shook her head. “No, we aren’t married. We’re just friends.”
If the Ghoul took objection to the term, he kept it to himself.
That night, as the three of them lay around the remnants of the fire, the dog curled up beside Carla and Carla sound asleep as she huddled against Lucy, she felt his eyes on her. She turned, looking over the little girl’s hair, and waited.
“Didn’t know you had a husband,” he offered, sounding careless.
“You never asked. And I don’t have a husband. He died,” she told the sky, too exhausted to keep her eyes open for long.
“Huh…when did he die?”
“Right before I left the Vault.”
“So…you’re a history teacher with a dead husband who wasn’t very nice.”
She nodded. That about summed it up.
Then, voice a little softer, “he hurt you?”
Lucy nodded again, eyes still closed. “Yes.”
“Well…guess it’s a good thing he’s dead, then.”
She smiled. “I wasn’t too upset about it.”
When she woke the next morning, it was only because Carla was awake and chattering away, asking the Ghoul questions about his journeys across the wasteland that he answered with a patience that continued to surprise her. He sat on a rock, gloves on the rock beside him and Carla stood in front of him as he sectioned her hair off into twin puffs on either side of her head, tying them with little rubber bands.
“How far is the next settlement?” she asked when he was done, and Lucy sat up, forcing her arms under her to push herself upright.
“We ought to get there today.” He gave her a pat on the shoulder and stood up.
Lucy could tell from her eyes that she’d been crying again, and she wondered if the Ghoul had offered to do her hair for her or if she’d asked him to.
“What happens then?”
“Well, as soon as we get there, we’ll find someone that can look after you,” he told her.
“Who?”
“Don’t know yet. We’ll see when…”
Lucy missed the next part…didn’t realize she’d fallen until Carla was shaking her shoulder and asking if she was okay, then the Ghoul was there instead, knuckle digging into her sternum and making her gasp in pain.
He pulled back the second she opened her eyes, hand lingering and pressing gently as if in apology. “Don’t start passing out on me now, Vaultie,” he murmured. “Where’s your water?”
“‘m’out,” she muttered, finding it took too much effort to enunciate.”
“Fuck…”
“Daddy said that was a bad word,” Carla put in softly, voice shaking. “Is she going to die too?”
“It is a bad word,” the Ghoul told her absently. “Don’t say it. And no, she’s not going to die. You hear that? No rest for you. Up,” he ordered, a hand on her back easing her up. She closed her eyes when the world seemed to speed up, spinning so fast her head fell forward, bumping against his shoulder. “Goddamnit,” he muttered. “Alright. Can you hand me her bag, honey?”
Carla must have…she said something else too, then the Ghoul’s gloved hands sat her up against the rock wall they’d been huddled by, a hand on her jaw tilting her head up.
“Eyes open,” he ordered, and she tried to open them. He scrambled to open what she thought was probably the last can of Cram and pressed it into one of her hands, then closed the fingers of her other hand around a fork. “Come on. Eat.”
She did, but the salt in the meat made her mouth so dry she winced, turning her head away.
“Nope. Keep eating.”
So she forced a few more bites down, then took the canteen he pushed into her hand. His canteen…less than half full. She took a sip, then another, before handing it back even though she wanted to drain the whole thing.
“We’ll get more water at the settlement. Food too.”
“Snack cakes,” she muttered, thinking about the meal she’d been fantasizing about.
He snorted, that smile she was starting to like too much flashing across his face. “Snack cakes?”
She blinked. “Oh…sorry. I thought I thought that…”
He shook his head, patting her on the shoulder and seeming to fight his smile. “Come on. The sooner we get moving, the sooner we can get something to eat. Maybe even some snack cakes.”
“Snack cakes?” Carla asked, wide-eyed and suddenly excited.
“See what you’ve done?” he asked, hauling Lucy to her feet. “We’ll see what we can find,” he told the little girl, shouldering his bag, and Lucy forced her feet to work, one step after another.
Carla stuck close to her side, and Lucy put a hand on her back, trying to smile. “I’m okay,” she promised. “I just got dizzy. But I’m fine.”
“Oh…are you pregnant?”
The Ghoul turned his face away and snorted out a laugh, and Lucy felt her cheeks go pink.
“Uh…no. I’m not pregnant,” she laughed.
“My neighbor got dizzy and she felt sick sometimes, and it was because she was going to have a baby.”
“Well, I am not having a baby,” Lucy told her with a grin.
“Do you want to have a baby?”
“Um…not right now.” Maybe not ever, she thought, but that wasn’t something she’d given much thought to.
“Do lots of people have babies in the Vault?”
“Yeah, a lot of people do. My best friend was pregnant when I left. Her name was Stephanie. She was going to have a boy.”
“What was she going to name him?”
“Um…I’m not sure. I don’t think she’d decided.”
“One time, my cat had kittens, and I got to name them.”
“What did you name them?”
“Spot, Sammy, and Smartie, because he was the smart one.”
“Good names.”
“Mr. Ghoul, what’s your dog’s name?”
“I call her Dogmeat,” he told her, and she wrinkled her nose, glancing at Lucy dubiously.
“Oh…”
He glanced back at her, brows raised, lips twitching.
“Are you sure?”
Lucy put a hand over her mouth, trying to muffle her laugh.
“Yeah, I suppose I am.”
“Who named her that?”
“I did.”
“Oh…”
He chuckled, shaking his head, and something shot through Lucy at the sight…soemthing she didn’t understand. She forced herself to look away.
Carla got quiet when they reached the settlement wall, her little hand slipping into Lucy’s, and the Ghoul led them through the front gates, having them wait outside while he went into a bar. And when he returned, it was with two cans of water, one for each of them. The little girl downed hers while Lucy tried to sip at hers, knowing all too well that if she drank too fast, it would just come back up.
“This way,” the Ghoul told them. “Theres a home for kids without parents on the east side of the settlement.”
The little girl clung to Lucy’s hand as they made their way down the street, and Lucy smiled down at her, bumping her shoulder against Carla’s. “I wonder if they have snack cakes there.”
Carla’s lips tried to twitch into a smile, but her eyes were wide and afraid.
“And toys too. And other kids to play with. When I was little, my favorite game was tag. We were only allowed to play in the big open rooms because it was dangerous to run in the halls, but one time, when we were supposed to be in bed, my little brother and I snuck out and we played in the hall with our friends.”
Her eyes went wide. “Did you get caught?”
“Not that night. But we tried again and our dad caught us sneaking out.”
“Were you in trouble?”
“A little bit. Oh…look,” she urged, pointing to a house with a swingset outside and a couple of kids sitting on the sidewalk drawing with chalk. “Do you think that’s the house?”
To her surprise, Carla stopped in her tracks, shaking her head and looking between Lucy and the Ghoul with tears in her eyes.
“Wait…”
The Ghoul stopped, and Lucy did too, squeezing her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to,” she whispered, tears in her eyes.
“There’s lots of kids here,” the Ghoul told her gently. “I talked to a couple of people about this place. The people that own it are good people. They’ll be good to you.”
“No…” she took a step back, those tears dripping down her cheeks as she tried to tug her hand free of Lucy’s. “Please…can’t I just stay with you? Please? I can come with you. I’ll be good. Please!”
Lucy’s eyes went hot and she crouched down, taking both hands in hers. “Honey…”
“Please!”
“Sweetheart, you don’t want to come with us. We’re going to be walking for days. It’ll be dangerous,” the Ghoul put in.
“I can shoot a gun and…and make fires!” She pulled her hands out from Lucy’s and threw her arms around the Ghoul’s middle, her whole body shaking with sobs as she clung to him, and through her own tear filled eyes, Lucy watched him freeze…watched his breath catch, eyes wide and far off as he rested one hand on the girl’s back.
He took a deep breath. Then another. And then he squeezed her in a tight hug, face turned away,
“Hey…” he murmured, crouching down and cupping her tear stained cheek in his hand. “You’re going to be happy here, honey. You’ll like it.” He gave her one of those heartbreakingly soft smiles. “Youll be safe. Okay?”
She dropped her head, throwing herself into his arms again, and the Ghoul squeezed her, running a hand up and down her back and closing his eyes.
Then he pulled back, patting her shoulder and straightening, a look on his face like a wild animal being hunted, and Lucy stepped forward, taking Carla’s hand again. “Hey, come on. We’ll go together.”
Before she’d even gotten the words out, the Ghoul was gone.
Lucy walked Carla into the house and met the woman, Dee, who ran it. She met Dee’s husband Paul and the other kids. She walked Carla around the house for the tour and sat on her bed and held her while she cried, stroking her back and feeling her own eyes fill with tears.
“Will you come back?” Carla asked at one point, gripping her Vault suit in her hands, practically begging.
Lucy nodded. “I will if I can,” she promised, and she meant it…prayed that this was a promise she could keep. “I promise. I’ll visit if I can.”
The woman, Dee, hovered in the doorway after a while, plate in hand, and Lucy gave her one last squeeze.
“Look, it’s time for lunch. Are you hungry?”
“I made mac and cheese,” Dee put in. “You can come down and eat with everyone if you want. There’s another little girl your age. Her name is Daisy, and she’s really excited to meet you.”
Carla sniffed, looking up at Lucy with tears on her cheeks, and Lucy gave her one last squeeze. One last kiss to her forehead. “It’ll be okay. You’re so brave. Braver than I was when I was your age. And I’ll come back and visit if I can.”
She nodded, watching Dee for a moment before taking the hand the other woman held out. Then, to Lucy, “See you soon?”
“See you soon.”
“Will you tell Mr. Ghoul to visit me too?”
“Yeah.” Lucy nodded, swallowing hard. “I’ll tell him.”
And then she forced herself to walk out the door, wiping pointlessly at her eyes while the little girl followed Dee down the hall. Carla would be fine. She’d only known her for a couple of days. She would forget about the woman and the ghoul who’d walked her from the ruins of her home to a new one. She’d mourn her family and her friends and she would keep going and she would be okay.
For some reason, though, the tears wouldn’t stop falling.
The Ghoul, as it turned out, had only made it a few streets over from the orphanage…all she had to do was walk in the direction he’d gone for a while and glance to her left and there he was, standing with his back against the brick building, chin on his chest, hands in fists at his sides. And she hesitated, about to walk away. About to give him space. She didn’t know this man. She didn’t even trust him, not really.
But then he let out a breath that shook, a hand coming up to cover his eyes, a shudder going through him, and Lucy moved without thinking. It went against every instinct she had to stroll right up to him but he didn’t stop, not even when his head snapped up to her and his hand dropped to his side, that mask snapping over his face.
But it was too late. She’d already seen him…she’d seen the way he’d smiled at Carla and the way he’d looked when Carla had begged to go with him. So, taking the biggest risk she’d taken in a long time, Lucy wrapped her arms around him, resting her forehead on his shoulder, and wondered if he might just cut off another finger. At the very least, she expected him to shove her away. Ask what the fuck she thought she was doing.
What she didn’t expect was for him to go stiff, then, almost like he was fighting it, to slump against her, arms wrapping around her waist, a breath leaving him in a shudder. Lucy didn’t ask. She didn’t even try to guess. She just held him for a long time, until her stomach was growling and he’d stopped shaking. Only then did he let out a breath and step away, squeezing her shoulder and not meeting her eyes.
“Come on, Vaultie. I’d better feed you before you pass out again.”