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Parrot didn’t know the last time he felt so safe.
His mind wandered, palms gracing upon the petals surrounding his body. There were flowers for miles, the sun ahead melting into warm colors so vibrant and breath-taking he might cry.
The scene unveiling before them nearly reminded him of before, when they were still naive, still so unknowing of the future ahead. When Wifies was still unmistakably kind, so caring. When he could still call him his best friend.
The flower field they laid in was almost identical to the one they both explored after he had broken Wifies out of the chunk ban, when all they had to worry about was collecting discs and solving puzzles so they could see their friends again.
His wings ruffled gently in the wind. If he avoided thinking about how, right now, they were full—not clipped—maybe he could live in bliss.
And to his right— a person he didn’t want to remember. Someone who he missed. An amalgamation of all his memories, the person of his nightmares, of the good moments on the server.
To his right, meeting his gaze, Wifies— stripped of any armor— blinked. He smiled, in the way his eyes shone and his eyebrows did that funny thing, furrowing like he was in some state between disbelief and happiness, and laughed at him. “What’re you looking at me like that for?” He asked, tilting his head up.
At this angle, his face was perfectly surrounded by soft flowers, painting a picture that made his eyes water, ever so slightly. Parrot shoved down the words lingering on his tongue and ripped apart their gaze. He wasn’t sure how to feel. This was too good to be true.
“Nothing,” he shook his head, making a move to sit up. “It’s nothing.” His back and wings ached from lying down for so long, despite how comfortable the ground was. Wifies, only a foot away from him, did the same.
Parrot looked at the sunset ahead, not because it was beautiful, but because deep down he was afraid— afraid if he looked anywhere else but the sky, looked in his friend's direction, he wouldn’t be able to look away. His throat tightened, a familiar lump forming that made it hard to speak, made his eyes gloss over with tears. He hated it.
He forced the feeling down, again, and leaned back on his hands, closing his eyes.
“Parrot?” Wifies asked, so softly he knew he might fold. He was truly weak.
“…Yeah?” His voice came out slightly shaky, ragged on the edges just enough to know something was wrong, but if Wifies noticed he didn’t acknowledge it. He continued to speak.
“Do you think we’ll ever get out of here?” He said simply. Parrot waited a moment before turning to him, ignoring the way his heart twinged as he did, and looked him over. He was glad he could still recognize what he looked like, after all this time. Without the trimmed armor, without the unfamiliar, possessive expression that coated his face. With a voice that didn’t yet speak words that would continue to haunt him for months on end, poisoning his thoughts and decisions.
Right now, Wifies looked and acted just as he used to. Maybe that’s what hurt the most.
Parrot swallowed, still staring at him. “We will. We always do.”
Wifies stopped staring at the sunset to turn to him, making eye contact once again. This wasn’t him, he was sure of it. No one could look at someone like Parrot with this much kindness in their eyes as much as the Wifies he used to know.
His lips quivered, then trembled.
“Wifies.”
The name came out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Wifies just looked at him, waiting, expecting. “Yeah?”
He let out a shaky sigh, something he had been holding in since Paragon, maybe even before that. Below him, he twisted and crushed the flowers underneath his hands as some twisted form of grounding himself.
“I…” He started. “I think I miss you.”
Wifies blinked once, then twice. Like he was shocked. As if he was surprised.
“Why? I’m right here, dude.” He didn’t even need to be looking at him to hear the gentle, playful smile in his voice. “I don’t plan on going anywhere.” He laughed softly, like whatever Parrot was saying was unbelievable, unthinkable. Nothing like the twisted smile, sick sense of comfort he gave in that perfect prison. Parrot knew, painfully, with all his heart, that this was his Wifies.
“I know— I just…” He sighed, wings shuttering. “I wanted to say it. Just in case I can’t later.”
Wifies gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Parrot tensed out of habit, waiting.
“Then, in that case, I miss you too.” He said, then waited a beat before letting go and wrapping his arm around both of his shoulders, pulling him closer. If Parrot imagined hard enough, he could believe his touch was real. That his warmth wasn’t fake. He’d remember it, serialize and cement it in his mind forever.
Without realizing, he had drawn his wings in, wrapping closely around Wifies. He missed this. He really did.
Wifies kept speaking, “Parrot. You know I’d always forgive you, right?” He rubbed circles into Parrot’s jacket sleeve out of habit, “I don’t think I could ever have it in my heart to be truly mad at you. Even if you’re so stubborn it hurts.” He sighs half-heartedly, surprisingly getting a breathy laugh out of Parrot.
“This server wouldn’t be the same without you. You know the only reason I joined was because of you, right?” Parrot hummed out an agreement.
“You’re the smartest person I know— well, other than me, of course.” The comment was light-hearted, but Parrot tensed. Wifies’ hand stilled on his shoulder before continuing. “I’m kidding. But other than that, you’re persistent. You’re kind. Maybe not all the time, but enough to be admired. I think you’d make a good leader, one day.”
Parrot swallowed again, his wings bringing in Wifies closer to his side. “I think you’re complimenting me too much.”
He hummed. “I want to say it so you remember. You’ll remember, right?”
The air drew silent for a moment— not awkward or uncomfortable, just contemplating. The sun before them slowly descended, Parrot knew it wouldn’t be long before it’d turn dark and the moonlight became the only thing keeping them alight.
“Of course I will.” He responded, simply.
Wifies smiled again, breathing out. “Cool.”
“But what now?”
He felt him shrug. “Whatever you want to do.”
Parrot took a shaky breath, curling in on himself.
“I think I wanna stay here. Just us. It’s nice.” He looked at the skyline, getting darker, filling with richer blues and purples. Out of the corner of his eye, he could almost see two, painfully familiar, overlapping stars.
“I agree.” Wifies turned his head, looking somewhere that Parrot couldn’t see. “But your wings are all messed up. I can see a few poking out all weird. That can’t feel good.” He turned back, facing him.
Parrot’s eyebrows furrowed. “It’s fine. I can barely feel it.”
Wifies released the gentle hold from his shoulders, his warmth leaving just as quickly as it stayed. His head tilted up, away from Parrot. “But I can help. If you want.”
Parrot inhaled deeply, looking away. His wings really did ache, for some odd reason. Everything about him ached right now. His brain, for one, as it was trying to process all of this, and especially his heart. He wasn’t sure how long he could take it.
To his own surprise, he turned back to Wifies and tenderly smiled, a silent confirmation. “I feel like you always find some way to help me.”
“Of course,” Wifies laughed as he shifted their positions, sitting behind Parrot instead of beside. For some reason, the fact that he couldn’t see his face, only able to hear his voice, made Parrot falter for a beat. “It’d feel kinda weird if I didn’t, you know?”
Parrot hummed. He could feel Wifies raking through his feathers, littered with dirt and leaves, some flowers poking through making it look like some oddly overgrown garden. It was clear he wasn’t really one to preen his own wings. There’s too many things to do, so many things happening at once, piling up too quickly for him to keep up. Wifies used to complain he was too forgetful, criticism aimed towards the fact that the thing he forgets to take the most care of is himself. Unfortunately, he can’t really argue against it. Wifies was right.
“I guess so.” Parrot shrugged. He sat with his knees close to his chest and arms burying his face. Allowing Wifies to preen his wings like this was the highest form of trust he could offer, after what happened to his wings the last time he allowed someone to get close to them. He wanted to give himself this luxury at least. The feeling of trusting someone again, fully, whole-heartedly. He shivered.
“Can I say something?” He asked. A hum came from behind him, urging him to continue.
“I know this is all fake— but,” His breath hitched, head turning down. “I want it to be real. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for missing you. This is probably what you would’ve wanted— the you who died in Paragon— for me to stay in the past and never move on. That’s not what I’m doing. I’ve moved on, it’s just—“ Parrot sighed, shakily. The words just kept spilling out of his mouth no matter how hard it seemed to talk.
“I miss you. I miss when we went on dumb adventures and solved impossible puzzles, met crazy people and all we had to worry about was surviving, together. Laughing together. I miss laughing with you, Wifies. That was the most fun I’ve ever had on this server.” His voice cracked, emotions brimming and nearly spilling over the edge.
“I hate remembering you. I hate grieving you. I hate that everything reminds me of you. Everything always does. Sometimes I just wish I could forget you entirely. Other times, all I want to do is live with you again.” He laughed like tears weren’t threatening to pour out. Like he could pretend that the real Wifies could hear what he was saying. Distantly, he hoped that was possible.
The Wifies sitting behind him continued to stay silent, still working his way through Parrot’s wings in a way that was so gentle, unmistakably understanding.
“…I hate you, Wifies. I miss our memories together. I’d do anything to get it back. But you’re dead. And I have no choice but to move on. I hate it. I hate you. I miss you. I hate how much I miss you. If you were here, the real you, you’d probably laugh at me for being so sappy.” The sunset was almost gone by now. It didn’t matter either way, because the tears in his eyes blurred his vision enough to blind him completely. He blinked them away. “This isn’t like me at all. But then again, you acted so differently when faced with such a tough dilemma. So maybe we’re the same after all. We were both naive. Too self-sacrificial. Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if things were different. If I had gotten through to you sooner.”
Wifies finished his left wing, pausing a second before continuing on his right. Parrot couldn’t stop himself from talking more, spilling the words and thoughts that had been brewing in his mind for far too long. He was afraid that if he didn’t say it all now, he’d never be able to forget it.
“Wifies— I… I never regretted being your friend. I hope you know that. I just wished you didn’t change. I wish you stayed by my side. There’s a lot of things I don’t want to tell anybody but you.” He sniffed, trying to stop his sobs.
“Wifies. I’m sorry. I really— am. I can’t—“ It was getting difficult to even form a sentence. He hunched over more, poorly attempting to wipe his face of tears.
“There’s so many things— so many things I wanna say. You… probably know it all by now. You know me too well. But— I guess not well enough, anymore.”
“Wifies… I miss you.” His voice cracked. More than anything, he hated feeling vulnerable. Something about his best friend’s presence was calming, comforting. The gentle preening didn’t help the sobs either. It only made them worse— he wanted to melt into his touch so badly that it hurt.
Parrot’s poor attempt at hiding his cries and sniffles were the only thing filling the silence in the air right now. Wifies didn’t say a word, probably worried that he’d just start breaking down even more if he did speak.
Yet, Wifies was never one to hold back. “Parrot, look at me.”
He felt a hand on his shoulder, urging him to turn back. His lips quivered and contorted his face into something ugly, thick with grief. He hadn’t allowed himself to feel like this, ever. Always bottling down emotions. He’d always wondered when it would all spill out.
Reluctantly, Parrot turned back. And as soon as he did, arms were wrapped around him, snaking around his body and enveloping him in Wifies’ familiar warmth, his touch, his silent sense of comfort.
God, he missed him so much. The reminder of it hurt.
Even though by now, Parrot thought he had run his eyes dry of tears, the hug that Wifies had cradled him in only made them well up again. He let out a strangled noise, then broke completely.
He sobbed, and cried. He wept and kept clutching Wifies tighter and the other just sat there and took it, hugging Parrot like this was the last time they’d ever see each other again. It was true. It made him sob again just thinking about it.
Parrot cried into Wifies’ shoulder, dampening his hoodie a noticeable shade darker but he knew neither of them cared. He didn’t care. This was the closest thing he would get to Wifies, and that was all he needed.
He didn’t know how long they had stayed there for. Long enough for the sobbing to eventually slow, obviously. But not long enough for the comforting touch to fade, for Wifies hold on him to falter, for Parrot’s grieving to finish. Maybe he would never stop mourning. It was all still too painful, too fresh to forget. They probably both knew that.
His wings enclosed them both, shutting them off from the outside world. They subconsciously wrapped around Wifies, somewhat protectively. As if it was some sort of way to say, ‘I want you to stay.’
Wifies knew a lot of the words that went unspoken between them. That’s just how he was, even from the beginning.
Parrot didn’t want to leave. He never wanted to. He wanted to live in this stupid flower field forever with his best friend. Peacefully, happily.
But he knew, he knew so painfully well, that good things don’t last forever.
“Parrot…” Wifies trembled, breaking the delicate silence between them. “I know. I miss you too. More than words could describe.”
His breath hitched. “Maybe things could’ve turned out differently, or maybe it was always supposed to be this way. I just hope that one day… one day you’ll forgive me. And move on. I’m sorry, Parrot. I’m sorry that I left you alone. You probably know I’m not sorry for what I did, I did what I thought would keep you safe, but I guess I was wrong. For how right I thought I was, you always proved differently.” His fingers curled into Parrot’s jacket. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not being the person you wanted, the me that I killed for you. I’m sorry. I miss you. I miss us.”
His face distorted, twisted, barely visible under the darkness of the night. It formed into the person he hated most, the one with longer hair that curled at its ends and had unfamiliar facial features, odd lines running down his cheeks and continued down his arms. The Director looked back at Parrot, except, it wasn’t fully him. Somewhere underneath the pain, the smile, was the Wifies he knew, the only one he cared about. The person he sacrificed so much for.
“I know.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I know. I don’t know how long it’ll take but… one day. One day, I’ll forget. And I’ll move on. But—just for now… I want to be selfish.”
“Okay,” Wifies breathed out. “Selfish together.”
Parrot smiled. He pulled back from his grasp, wanting to see his face fully again. It was already blurry, glitching in and out of existence and Parrot knew that time was trickling.
“Wifies?”
His head tilted up, responding softly. “Yeah?”
“…Thank you,” Parrot held him again. “Thank you for being my friend.”
A faint smile flickered on his face, even if he couldn’t see it. “Anytime, Parrot.”