Chapter Text
Mikey was tired, had been for a while.
He was tired of trying to keep everybody together and failing.
He was tired of reaching out for them only to be let down or ignored.
It had been weeks since they had all physically recovered, at least enough for everyone to be discharged from med bay, they all still had their issues sure but nothing that required immediate medical attention anymore.
But the mental and emotional trauma?
Oooh boy
That was still running rampant.
Mikey had thought that with their now many collective near-death experiences under their belt, that it would actually help them come back together for the first time since the Shredder incident. Just as soon as Mikey had begun to hope that he had his brothers back, it was crushed.
Once everyone was no longer in the danger zone, that is no one was in danger of dying in the night due to injury. It all went back to the way it was before, accept it was a hundred times worse than before.
Instead of hearing Raph and Leo constantly fight and bicker it was just deafening silence as they avoided each other, and everyone else in the process.
He hadn't had a hug from Raph since he was still confined to one of the med bay beds due to his mystic arm injuries, Raph hadn't touched him since he got the all clear to leave the room and his oldest brother patted him on the shell, it had been weeks since then. He tried not to take it personally, Raph had been pulling away from all of them, he didn't know when the snapper had last let anyone close.
He missed his brothers comforting warmth.
Leo hadn't smiled at him since the slider was allowed to leave med bay for his room, sure he flashed the box turtle a smile when Mikey tried to spend time with him or get him to eat, but the smile was paper thin, didn't reach his eyes and was always followed by an excuse to leave.
It was his scars; Mikey was sure of it. His brother couldn't look at the box turtles arms without looking sad and flinching. Those scars must remind him of being trapped in the prison dimension, of being trapped with that monster.
Mikey tried not to think about being a walking trigger for his brother.
He missed his brothers infectious joy.
And Donnie?... Mikey could feel tears sting his eyes.
Donnie, who had been Mikeys rock, his lighthouse during the turmoil after Shredder when their older brothers were at each others throats. Donnie was the one guiding him to shore, keeping the younger turtle afloat.
But now, the light had gone out leaving Mikey stranded in the ocean.
Donnie had closed himself off; he wasn't even allowed in the lab anymore.
Without Donnie, Mikey was lost.
There was no one to guide him home.
He was sick and tired of it all.
Tired of watching his family fall apart.
Tired of trying and failing to keep it together.
He was tired of crying over this.
He scrubbed his face angrily in an attempt to dry his wet cheeks.
Mikey had reached his limit, if his family didn't want him around then fine, he wouldn't be.
He got up, it was still pretty early, but he was going to make the biggest and finest dinner of his entire life for his brothers to enjoy. He was going to invite them all to eat together later, something they hadn't done in a long while.
Even though Mikey tried almost daily.
And if they didn't show this time? Well Mikey wouldn't be there to see it anyway.
He'd gone to Donnie first, knocking on the door to the lab, a door that used to open automatically to his presence alone.
He waited, knocking every few seconds.
How long had he been knocking?
A few minutes?
Each knock sending sparks of pain up through his hand, each knock a reminder that he wasn't wanted.
After another round of knocks the door finally opened, revealing the soft-shell turtle. “I really don't have time to hang out right now Micheal; I’m busy and I do not appreciate being disturbed by your consistent knocking.” Donnie huffed in frustration, tapping on his wrist consol; he hadn't even looked over at the youngest brother.
Mikey thought his brother looked tired; he could see the heavy bags under the purple mask. It hurt to see Donnie so worn down.
“I’m making dinner tonight.”
He made dinner every night, he only confronted them like this when he was desperately willing their attendance.
It hadn't worked for a while, but maybe there was something in his tone this time, he didn't hear it but Donnie certaintly did. His brother turned to look at him for the first time in days, his eyes softening slightly before he looked away again.
“I-I’ll be there Angelo.”
Mikey almost couldn't belive his ears, he nodded and gave a small smile before leaving, worried that the soft shell would change his mind if he stayed any longer. “Okay Dee, love you.” he called over his shoulder, he didn't wait for a response, if he got one at all.
Leo was next.
He never found his blue brother on purpose anymore, only accidentally stumbling upon him before the slider made some halfhearted excuse to leave. It didn't escape Mikeys notice however that Leo would seem to materialize out of thin air anytime that someone entered the med bay. If someone went in, his brother would appear shortly after.
As distant as he was being currently with them all, it seemed that the physical wellbeing of his family, as the team medic, was still his top priority.
So, to the med bay the youngest brother went.
He could honestly do with some pain killers, all that knocking really had done a number on his hand; it still throbbed painfully. He entered their med bay, it had been heavily restocked after the Kraang incident, the shelves now seemed to have every medication known to man, Mikey didn’t even know how to begin to pronounce most of them. Mikey had even noticed some new additions to the room, a machine that monitors brain activity, a fridge that stored blood bags, the youngest doesn’t know if the blood in there is special and will never go off or if his brother is just constantly replacing it.
Either way Mikey wasn't going to think about that. It was Leo who restocked their med bay, though Mikey never saw the other do it; this was Leo's domain just as much as the kitchen was his.
There were also definitely some new upgrades done on more than one machine in the room, Mikey couldn't remember what was originally part of said machines but he was pretty sure their heart monitor didn't have Donnie's Genius Built Tech logo before. Did Leo ask him to upgrade them? Or was it just another task on Donnie's ‘Work till I crash’ list.
Mikey walked over to where the painkillers were usually stocked; they had been moved to a higher shelf, he could see the box that contained them, but they were just out of his reach. Normally a quick jump and scramble on the countertop would be all that he needed to do and they would be his, but he was so tired, his arms ached and he didn't want to reach for them.
Soft footsteps followed by the sound of the med bay doors opening, he wouldn't have to get the pills himself after all. “Miguel?” voice hesitant and somewhat soft. “Hey Leo,” Mikey turned to him with a small smile, arms shifting to hide behind his shell and out of the others sight. “Perfect timing, could you get the pain killers for me, I’ve got a killer headache.” the lie felt rotten on his tongue but his brother didn't seem to notice, already moving to grab the box that was out of the youngest's reach. He handed the box turtle a bottle of their strong painkillers, perfect one of those would sooth his aching arms, Mikey snagged the bottle before Leo had chance to turn, heading towards the door with hands in front and out of Leo’s eyesight once more.
“I’m making dinner tonight.” He said, looking over his shoulder at his brother, “I’d really like you to be there.” His brother looked lost, Leo normally wore fatigue better than any of them thanks to his chronic insomnia, but even he looks rough. Mikeys heart thumped painfully in his chest, Leo looked so tired and unsure. The moment passed and Leo was flashing him a printed smile, “Anything for my favourite brother.” Mikey felt his stomach churn at the words coupled with the fake smile, but he pushed it down and smiled back at him. “Thanks Leo, I love you.” Leaving the room as soon as the words were out, he wouldn't burden his brother for a reply.
Two down, one to go.
But first he had to sort his arms out; Mikey made a pit stop to the kitchen. He filled up a small glass of water and set it down before he tried to open the bottle of pain killers. Tried being the key word here.
Because he-
Just-
Couldn't-
Open it!
His hands throbbed with the effort of trying to open this god dammed child proof cap! His hands couldn't twist the small cap and apply the downwards pressure at the same time; this was the worst! Of all the days to have a bad hand nerve day and it just had to be today!
A sound of frustration fell from his mouth as he applied more strength, it was quickly followed by a gasp of pain. He had twisted it too harshly, pressed down too strong, the motion splitting some of the tender skin of his scars open. Pain raced through his arms like fire as the medicine cap clattered across the countertop, more than half of the pills spilling out and into the sink like hail on a tin roof.
He had a second to quake in the pain before the sound of footsteps approached the kitchen, drawn by the noise no doubt, loud but steady steps.
Raph
Mikey hurriedly turned on the tap and started filling the sink, he grabbed a pan though his arms protested the weight and quickly shoved the bottle and cap behind some washing up liquid.
By the time Raph got to the kitchen Mikey was elbow deep in soapy water and trying his best not to wince at the sting in his now reopened wounds. “Mikey?” The tone and accompanying stink spelled concern, but the oldest brother didn't enter the kitchen, choosing to hover at the threshold. “I heard-”
“Oh! The noise? Yeah, that was my bad Raph I accidently dropped a pan, scared the shell right off me!” He gave a small chuckle, he couldn't tell if it sounded real, God he hoped it sounded real.
Raph seemed to buy it. “Oh, okay, just- just be careful,” his voice was soft, Mikey heard him turn to leave.
“Raph!” Mikey turned, hands still in the sink, he watched the other startle and pause, the snapper turned back so he could see Mikey with his good eye, it was full of confusion and anxiety. Mikeys heart rate picked up.
“I’m making dinner, promise it'll be amazing.” Did his voice crack? He wasn't sure.
He thought for a moment that his big brother was going to rush in and pull him into a hug, and oh how Mikey craved it, wanting to be swept up in his brothers arms to feel the warmth of his plastron and revil in the content and soothing rumble of his older brothers churrs. He’s sure his eyes are begging for it, a plea that is quickly denied as Raph clenched his jaw and looked away. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious big guy, I’m looking forward to it.”
“Thanks Raph, love ya!” Mikey called out, almost choking on the fear and anxiety stink his brother left behind. He pulled his trembling hands from the sink, quickly pulling the plug, he didn't want to see the red tinted water or the soggy tablets anymore. Shakily he picked up the pill bottle, there was only a hand full left, Mikey sighed, he’d have to keep it with him till he could replace it. Taking a couple of the pain killers, quickly chasing them down with water before reattaching the cap and pocketing the bottle in one of the utility pouches on his belt. Grabbing some hand wraps from another pouch, it was Raphs idea to start keeping some on hand in case of emergencies, Mikeys heart twinged at that. He wrapped his reopened scars, thankfully they had mostly healed by this point so the bleeding wasn't anything serious, he tied them as tight as he could, it wasn't perfect, it was actually quite difficult to bandage your own arms but he’d done his best and it was sanitary enough for him to cook so that's all that mattered right now.
He really didn't have time to wait for the painkillers to work their magic, not if he wanted to make, set up the meal and be gone before his brothers got here.
“You got this Mikey, time to give it your all.”