Archive of Our Own

Everything was close to being said and done. Everyone in “the party” (the party that Robin now seems to be a part of) are outside speaking to officers, Robin was no different. She was still, watching as the mall was collapsing under flames and the frantic firefighters were trying to hurriedly put out the fire. She was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder and she turned her head around to be met by a man wearing a badge and a notepad in his hand. 

“Can you step to the side for me?” The officer asked and Robin stared at him for a few seconds not blinking. 

“Ma’am.”

“Right! I'm sorry” Robin said, shaking her head slightly as a result of her embarrassment. They walk a reasonable distance away from the flames and suddenly Robin is hit with a serious wave of exhaustion and her legs feel like jelly. At this point she just wants to head home and lay in her bed. 

“I'm sure you're aware of what this conversation is going to be about. Before we began this conversation this was just a small fire. Nothing more and nothing less. DoImake myself clear?” The officer said, his tone leaving no room for defiance. Luckily for him Robin was not only traumatized and in too much shock to defy him at all, she was also about to fall over from exhaustion. 

“Yes sir…?” Robin replied, she didn't even have an idea what this conversation was going to be about. In her opinion he was getting way ahead of himself because that could mean so many things. Is it about the code? The random green acid? The Russian base? Or the humongous monster that was getting ready to kill her and the rest of the party? Robin vaguely asked as much to the officer in hopes for a straightforward explanation.

“We're gonna ask you to never speak about this to anybody who was not directly involved, preferably at all. I have an NDA here ready to sign. I don't mean to scare you but there will be serious consequences for you and those you love if you don't sign this.” The officer said sounding too tired, but also upholding his serious demeanor

“And even if you do and you violate the terms and agreements you will be risking everything.” The officer finished off, looking Robin directly in her eyes holding a pen up. Robin silently nodded and took the pen and tried her best to focus on the words in front of her. The contract stays indefinite and that scares Robin a little. Forever. For the rest of her life she's going to have to live with the trauma that one single night caused her. Thinking about the past 4 hours has already made her sick to her stomach and now she's being forced to make a life changing decision under the burning eyes of the officer in front of her in thirty seconds? Nonetheless she scribbles her name and her signature and extends the pen and paper back to the officer. He asks Robin a few more questions before giving her the option to get checked out by a paramedic or just leave. She refuses and walks away.

Once she's left alone to her own devices she looks around her and everything is so bright and so loud. It feels like a box is closing in on her and all she can hear are sirens and all she can see is white and orange and she feels like she's going to pass out any second now. She looks to her right and watches as Steve walks back and forth between all of the kids, holding light conversation with them then moving onto the next. He turns around and suddenly their eyes meet and she watches Steve jog over to her.

“Robin, are you okay?” Steve says placing a hand on her shoulder. Robin flinches and takes a huge step back making Steve's eyebrows furrow and confusion and she watches as his eyes fill with concern. He doesn't touch her again but he takes a step closer. 

“Robin.” Nothing

“Robin!” And that shakes Robin out of her exhausted daze. 

“Yeah- Yeah I'm sorry im…im fine Steve.” She says breathing in and out.  “I think I'm just gonna go home now Steve. I’ll see you…soon?” Robin says. She obviously sounds unsure on whether she actually is going to see Steve anytime soon. They are just coworkers at the end of the day, despite that heart to heart they had on the disgusting floor on the inside of a bathroom stall. Not to say she didn't appreciate it and she wasn't touched by the moment, but she wasn't one to just assume things. 

“Yeah see you soon…” Steve trailed off, almost as if he wanted to say something else but wasn't sure how. He could see something was wrong and yeah maybe it was the fact that their place of work just burned down, or the fact they were being chased and attacked by a human flesh made monster, or even being injected with drugs but she looked…bad. 

“Do you need a ride home?” He settled on saying. 

“No thanks, I have my bik-” She said about to gesture to her bicycle only to realize when the mall collapsed it definitely took her bike with it. She looked over to the part of the mall where bikes rested in the bike racks and as she guessed she couldn't even see it. She sighed and looked back at Steve. "Sure. I do need a ride, thank you.” She finished with a smile. 

“Wait-I thought the Russians took your keys?” Robin questioned. If that truth still remained there's no way they're getting home without someone else giving them a ride. They had the todfthr but that was off the table seeing as not only did Steve crash that shit, that huge flesh monster from earlier had completely crushed it. Steve driving anything seemed near impossible.  

“They did. Somehow when the base was raided they luckily found the keys to my car. And seeing as it's still in pretty perfect condition-” He said gesturing to his car, though it was pretty far away, Robin could tell there was no serious damage. “-It’ll definitely drive.” 

“You're lucky as shit” Robin said, letting out a giggle. “Come on, let's go if I have to stand here a minute longer you'll have to carry my passed out body all the way to your car.” And playfully shoved Steve forward. She looked back over her shoulder one last time and watched as everyone else was gearing up to get the hell away from the mall. They walked all the way down to Steve's car and seeing as it was, for some reason, parked so far away from the entrance it was almost a 5 minute walk.

“Steve, why the hell did you park so far away?” Robin asked, rolling her eyes. 

“The mall gets busy and I'm late sometimes-” Robin gave him a pointed look. “Most of the time…point is there's no way I'm getting the best spot in the lot? I guess that's lucky for us though right?” Steve smirked and Robin just kept walking trying to focus on not collapsing on the ground. Eventually the cars reached and Robin practically flopped into the passenger seat. She told Steve her address and they were on their merry way. Robin lived quite the distance from the mall. A good 35 minutes (Driving wise). For the first 10 minutes or so they were sitting in silence, both of them still processing the events of the entire evening. 

“Robin.” 

“...yes?”

“Are you okay?”

“Ask me tomorrow, remember?” and with that Steve sighed. He knew something was wrong and it went deeper than what he knew what happened, he feels like missed a pretty important moment throughout the night which is odd because they were together the whole time. It’s something else and it was gonna bug him til he figured it out. Robin could feel Steve's eyes on her and she felt awkward about it. The silence was becoming more and more uncomfortable the longer this car ride went on so she was the one to break it. 

“Steve?”

“Mm?”

“What happened? To your face I mean." Robin asked, she almost felt bad for asking because she wasn't sure how Steve would take it, but Steve smirked, jackpot.

“Ask me tomorrow, remember?”  Steve responded. Sure he was being petty but he was hoping this was going to be a way to get Robin to talk. It did the opposite seeing as she just scoffed and rolled her eyes. The rest of the drive didn't take that long and soon Steve was pulling into Robin's driveway. 

“I guess this is goodbye now?” Steve asked.

“Yeah…” Robin said walking away but she quickly spun around right before Steve was about to put his car in drive. “Do you wanna come inside?” She asked. It might be a weird question but almost all she could think about was remembering how vulnerable she felt in that room, alone and scared and she wasn't sure if being alone was gonna help. 

“Yeah. Yeah yeah I’ll come inside! Just give me one second…” He quickly shifted gears, putting the car in park and unfastened his seatbelt. He locked the door and waited for Robin to lead the way.

Robin's parents weren't home, probably still at work, Steve assumed. Steve didn't put much thought into what Robin's bedroom would look like but the longer he stood inside the door frame the more it made sense. The carpet in her room was greyish but it was extremely soft. Her walls are white and are plastered with stars and posters of different shots of popular tourist spots in foreign countries. She has a desk that doubles as some sort of makeshift vanity with tapes and papers scattered all over it and a drawer open. Her bed was surprisingly made and she has a surprising amount of stuffed animals scattered all throughout her room. There was another door Steve assumed led to some sort of closet. It wasn't exactly a big room and her bed was taking up most of the space so it almost felt…crowded with everything in it. Steve walked in, flipping the lightswitch on.

“Turn that off?!” Robin yelled, she was already spread out on her bed like some sort of human starfish

“Sheesh okay…” and the switch was flipped back off. “How are we even supposed to see if there's no light Robin?” Valid question. Robin flipped over and pushed herself off the bed and crouched to the very bottom of her bed, messing with something. And suddenly the room illuminates with light. It’s coming from the dozens of string lights attached to the wall. 

“Woah…That's so cool.” 

“Thanks dingus…The big light hurts my eyes and causes an instant headache which-” She gets up and dusts herself off. “I can't deal with it right now.” 

“I'm going to get changed.” she says, grabbing clothes out of her dresser. Pushing it closed with her foot while looking at Steve. “Sorry I dont have any spare clothes for you…although my dad might have a t- shirt and maybe some sweatpants or something laying around? Do you mind that?” 

“Uh no I don't mind thank you.”

Once they've both gotten changed they're back to silence again. But this time it's a more comfortable silence. Steves lying down on Robin's bed while she criss-crosses apple sauce on the other end of the bed. The silence is broken by the sound of gagging and Steve instantly shoots up to put his hand on Robin's back. 

“Robin. Robin, are you about to throw up right now?” She nods before practically running out her room to what Steve supposes is her bathroom. He has an internal battle on whether he should check on her or wait til she's ready to come out. It’s a little odd how they practically threw up all the aftermath of the truth serum yet she's still sick? Steve certainly didn't feel any nausea. He got up and walked down the hallway til he found a room with light spilling out from under it. He was about to enter until he realized it's probably more polite to knock, so he did.

“Go away.” Ouch.

“Robin let me in. Come on, it's not that gross, I can handle it.” 

Robin lifts her head out of the toilet bowl and looks at the door gearing up for another dismissive comment til she's hit with a second round of nausea. She throws up once more and that's when Steve decides he needs to open the door. His heart seems to break just a tad watching someone he was starting to consider a friend throw her guts up for the second time that night. He sinks to the floor beside her and though her hair isn't long Steve still pulled it back for her and rubbed her back. It was disgusting but they made it through. 

When Robin was done she spit in the toilet and flushed it and pushed herself against the wall opposite from the toilet, she still sat in there just in case there was going to be a round three. 

“Come on Robin, rinse your mouth in the sink. Can you stand?” Steve asked but Robin was unresponsive, again. Steve wasn't sure if she was spacing out or just couldn't speak.

"Robin. I know something's wrong, please just talk to me. You're starting to freak me out. I'm right here, perfectly present and accounted for. Please just talk to me.” Steve tried to take her hand but suddenly she was curled into a ball, her face in her knees and she still wasn't speaking. 

“Hey! Robin, Robin come on whats-” Steve stops when he sees her frame shaking. When he hears sobs coming from her he freezes because at this moment he has no idea what to do. He pushes himself forward to sit directly next to Robin. He wasn't sure how to go about this. He wanted to put his arm around her but he didn't know how she felt about physical touch. He went with it anyway. 

“STOP!” Robin screamed, pushing herself far away from the boy. Steve was at a severe loss. He didn't know how to make her open up let alone stop crying and obviously touching the girl wasn't making anything better. 

“Okay. Okay I won't touch you, see?” Steve assured, even lifting his hands up to prove his point. “I won't touch you at all but I won't leave. You can…you can continue crying? If that's what you need, Robin, I won't judge you for it.”

Robin looks up at Steve and she looks like a wreck. Her hair is frizzy and her eyes and face are red while tears still cascade down her face. She reaches up to run her hands through her hair and grabs some strands and plays with it. Steve assumes it's some self regulation tactic because he watched her do the same thing in the bathroom of the mall. 

“I…I'm really sorry.” Robin says, avoiding eye contact "For yelling at you.”

“It’s cool. I'm sorry for what I did too, I should've made sure you were okay with me touching you before I just rushed in and tried it. Are we…cool?” Steve asked, a little nervous seeing as he wasn't totally sure if this bout of emotions was over.  

Though Robin was still crying she extended her hand and grabbed Steves and shook it. “We’re cool” She finished with a heartbreaking smile. 

“Im sorry again. It's just-” Robin started, taking in a really shaking breath. She was nervous to talk about it. Talk about what the hell happened to her in that room. “When we were separated something happened.” 

And that was one puzzle piece added into the mystery Steve was trying to solve. Of fucking course it was when they were seperated. He was thinking of all the possible things that she could be so upset over he forgot she wasn't with him when he was well…being tortured. Thinking about it kills him but he needs to try to push that aside and just listen. 

“...what..happened?” Steve asked, treading as lightly as possible. He quickly assessed her soon after the drugs wore off and he didn't see any noticeable bruises and now looking over her again there was still nothing compared to Steve's swollen face. Robin started to cry again but if they were allowed to see a silver lining in this it wasn't heavy sobs like a few minutes prior.

“The soldiers.” Robin said, it wasn't much context but she was trying her absolute best to not throw up from pure disgust again. She wasn't sure what was bothering her the most. The fact that she was assaulted or the fact that she’s throwing up just from the thought of it. And now she's about to tell Steve and there's no way of knowing how he’s going to react.

“They fucking touched me okay? They touched me and I was tied up and I couldn't even stop it.I begged them to stop. To get off of me and they didn't- they- they didn't fucking listen. I could've passed out but they didn't care. And-oh god they slapped me! Even worse-I understood the lewd comments they were making about me and they didn't even know it! And now…thinking about it is making me so sick I have to vomit. I'm vomiting because they had to put their hands on me instead of just- just leaving me alone! They didn't even ask me for information. They just did it because they could. And it's just…why?” Robin said, starting to sob again. All of the emotions she felt during her assault just flooded out and fueled her rage and her disgust. Her breathing was ragged and her hands were shaking just from retelling her story. The more and more she spoke the more horrified Steve got. She didn't even notice as his face paled and when she did she just waited. Waited for him to stand up and slam the door and walk out of her house to never talk to her ever again. To tell everyone and leave her all alone, again. It was nice while it lasted, she supposes.

She takes a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. “Steve…did…you OD over there?” She said, still trying to make somewhat of a joke out of this, getting hit with a strong sense of Déjà vu.

“Robin…” Steve said, his heart starting to shatter for her. He instantly feels guilty. He should've been there for her. He should've fought harder to make sure they wouldn't get separated. He shouldn't have assumed she was fine. He’s so naive. Naive to think that while he was getting his shit rocked Robin was just sitting there fine. The dots started to connect. She didn't want to be touched, She was flinching all night, She was extra quiet, and she kept spacing out.

“Robin I am so…sorry-” Robin quickly cut off Steve. “Don't be. Clearly-” She gestured to his face “-You were busy with other things. I don't blame you, I swear. There was no way you could've known.” She said, sniffing in between words. Steve reached over to the side of the toilet and ripped an appropriate amount of squares and handed it to Robin. 

“Here blow your nose with this.” He said, trying to give her a smile.

“So…What did happen to your face?” Robin said, whether she was trying to get the attention off of her or she was actually curious, Steve doesn't know. 

“What happened to ‘ask me tomorrow’ huh?” He said with a hint of teasing. He really didn't feel like talking about it especially after Robin just told him what she told him. She gave him a look that made him sigh. 

“Unlike you they actually did ask me for information” He started, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I was honest, I told them everything yet they didn't believe me. It sounds ridiculous. I'm not stupid but it's allIhad and it was the truth.” Suddenly his throat was starting to feel tight. 

“And because they didn't believe me…This happened” He finished gesturing to his face. 

“God- Steve, I'm so sorry you didn't deserve that.” Robin said breathless, unlike Steve she had a pretty good idea what happened to him but hearing it just hit harder. 

“Ah don't be. It’s not as bad as what you had to deal with.”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” 

“Stop acting like you don't matter. This isn't the trauma olympics Steve. You can tell me if something's bothering you without trying to downplay it.” Robin said, and Steve could tell she really meant it.

“Yeah well thanks for trusting me with that Robin. I'm still so sorry.”

“I don't blame you Steve. I don't blame you because it wasn't your fault." 

“Come on, stand up and rinse your mouth now.” Steve said, watching as she made her way to the sink, rinsing her mouth and even brushing her teeth while she was at it. 

They made their way back to Robin's bedroom and this time they both laid down. Feeling more comfortable than they've been in hours. Robin rolls over and gives Steve a hug. He froze in shock and slowly returned it.

“I don't know when I'll be ‘normal’ again. I'm sorry. For now please accept that hug as a wonderful gift Stevie.” Robin said with a smile. She found that she was okay with initiating the physical contact but she can't handle it being the other way around. 

“I will cherish this moment with my life Rob.” Steve said, playing along.

And if they fell asleep in Robin's bed with their limbs clashing with each other, well nobody would know.