Chapter Text
Silence, warmth and relief.
That's how death should be like, no?
Silence is the absence of sound and noise, it marks the separation of the consciousness to the physical world. Warmth is the slow embrace of comfort as if sinking into your mother's arms, an illusion to keep your body from needlessly fighting against the inevitable….
The inevitable, the inevitable…. Was this truly inevitable? Surely it couldn't have been inevitable, war was avoidable…. Right?
His death was avoidable. Mindless slaughter was avoidable.
Yet he was still robbed.
Lastly, relief is when you finally, finally let go of all that is left in the living world, of all the regrets and hardships, of those that were dear to you mother and of those you resented Alex, it is the process of losing yourself to the converging rivers of time, space, life and death: all at once yet nothing at all.
In other words it is when you let go of what makes you the person you were, only for history to remember.
Robbed of a future.
“-!!”
Robbed of comfort in his final moments.
“-n!”
Robbed of life.
“Y/n!!” Something grabbed his rucksack, hoisting him up and onto somebody's shoulder. He could not open his eyes, perhaps they were already open, but he heard him. Charles.
Oh Charles… what a good friend he was. Even though Charles was considerably older than himself, they had quickly become friends and Charles took it upon himself to take care of of the then 17 year old.
“Lad, I know you're still in there!” Perhaps he'd even be robbed of death?
“I'm not giving up on you kid, you still have so many things to do, you cannot just-” Charles stumbled, almost fell when something went off closer than comfortable.
“…no…” It was quiet, but Charles heard it.
Nononononononononononononono
“Not back in there- please” It was pathetic, to beg for death but what else could he do? He was a tormented child, sleep escaped him at night as the sounds of war kept him awake while other rare times when he got the opportunity to wash his hands hed scrub them raw until Charles dragged him away.
There was blood, so, so much blood on him, his hands. He had killed so many-
Charles stopped. They were right before the trench they had dug seven months prior. They had gone all muddy and moldy after only the first weeks and the current weather of September wasn't helping much: you either died on the battlefield or would rott away in the trenches.
Anywhere but back in there.
“I can't get you any help from up here-!!” Charles was cut off as a hand reached for him, forcefully dragged into the godforsaken trench.
“For Christ sake Charles!! What were you doing going out there like that?! Are you crazy?!!!” This had to be Anton, one of the many English reinforcements sent by the British and also part of Charles division, they could be considered friends even.
“Hey, we need to get a medic-”
“Jesus….” He had not felt anything from the fall, but what he did feel was how every second these voices were getting further and further way, after all, sound reception was the last sense to die, wasn't it?
“Charles-”
“I know Anton! I know...” If he had been more conscious, he would've felt how arms tightened around him, a shaking figure fighting for his survival when all he wanted to do was to be let go already.
Too much… it was simply too much, he could not do this any longer… I sorry, so so sorry …. Charles, please tell-
“Kid?! Anton he's-”
Mother… I have missed your embrace… Do not blame yourself mother, you've always been by my side, took care of me when I was at my lowest, and I had sworn to do the same when you needed me- I am so, so sorry, please take care of me just one more time…
If he had been more conscious, he would've felt how a tear escaped his unseeing eyes and how a rough yet warm hand had wiped it away.
Father… please, read me another story, just this once, I know you despise me for my weaknesses, but please, just one more time…
“Charles… There is no possible way he'll make it, just look at what the blast did to him….”
Victoria… sweet, sweet Victoria, let's play dolls once more alright? I am sorry I won't be able to attend you tea parties from now on. And I am so, so sorry for not being able to fight for a better future for you…
And Alex, you… Do you still love me? Have you ever?? I am sorry, so sorry for taking from you, exactly what I'm unsure but please just look at me again- one final time, please I beg of you, don't look at me with such hatred- look at me how you used to brother!
Please…
And then all that remained were the quiet sounds of war, death and suffering.
Was it finally time? Even in his final moments he is not granted the relief of the absence of the sounds and shadows that plague his mind ever since he stepped foot onto the battlefield.
Curse you, curse you Gods who have condemned me, abandoned us, forsaken this world.
Suddenly, with no warning at all, his grip on the world slipped too soon yet due for oh so long.
Seven months late yet 19 years early.
.
.
.
My child
My poor poor child
So many of my children have died…
I have not condemned you, I have not abandoned you, I have not forsaken you…
I have little control over the happenings in this world nowadays, but I shall grant you yet another chance at life, with what little power I still have I will send you far, far away from this wretched world…
Things will only get worse before they get better…
Thank you, my child for fighting for me.
Your death was not in vain.
I wish you the best of luck, there is nothing else I can do. From now on I entrust you to the gods of another world.
I bend the rules for you, you shall transcend the shades of reality: time, space, life and death.
For this is neither reality nor fiction. Remember child, when you have nothing left to lose you have everything to gain.
So take this gamble, strive for a better future and intertwine your fate so thoroughly with the one of Teyvat so that when my powers diminish and your cover is blown, the celestial gods cannot erase you from the history.
My little army dreamer.
.
.
.
Pain.
It was so painful.
Everything was so itchy.
So- warm?
He could not longer feel the mud underneath him, not feel his own blood soaking his uniform, he could not longer hear Charles. But he couldn't for a long time already…
“Mrs. Sigewinne! Somebody get the nurse!!” He could hear something, something that was different that the constant war static he heard.
It wasn't long before Sigewinne arrived at the infirmary, Wriothesley close behind. When dealing with the unknown he preferred to be present lest he allowed something happened to Sigewinne.
What was this feeling in his chest? It felt like pressure… no, it was a beating from within. It felt so foreign… yet so comforting…
“The patient is awake!” The voice he heard was soft, something so strange to find on the battlefield.
The battlefield? He could hear it, but not see it. He doesn't remember when he regained his vision, but he started to realize that despite gaining it back, it helped him little.
Where was he?
“Sir? Can you hear me??” A little lady came into view, she looked rather strange but somehow that didn't fase him, too busy trying to decipher where he was.
“Sir??” A singular, soft and harmless touch to his right arm was all it took for him to snap back.
Danger.
He pushed her away, crawling out of the bed to the best of his abilities while everything ached. Though he didn't get far as in a second a rough hand grabbed the back of his collar, dragging him back and then resting on his shoulder, pushing him into the bed and incampacitating his range of movement the next. The ache in his shoulder incresed tenfold, his state of panic not lessened.
“Wriothesley! Let him go, don't you see he's distressed?” Sigewinne had stood up again from where she hit the floor, no real damage taken.
The strange patient on the other hand was tearing open his stitches the more he struggled against the wardens hold. This is why she didn't want Wriothesley to come down with her…
Despite Wriothesley’s doubt, he let go of the stranger, Sigewinne was the nurse after all, she knew best.
The moment y/n felt the pressure releasing from his shoulder he shrank into himself, dragging his freshly bleeding body to the headrest of the bed.
“Look what you did to him… such a poor soul…” Sigewinne pitied the kid, he had arrived completely covered in his own blood, they thought he wouldn't make it but by some miracle Sigewinne was able to stich him back together quickly enough so that her healing still had been partially effective and the child was brought back from the brink of death.
Carefully she got closer to the stranger, slowly with no sudden movement.
“It is alright, you are in no danger here” She spoke softly, not daring to get too close to the spooked man.
“Who-” Y/n was cut off by harsh coughing, violently jerking as tears filled his eyes. The pain was unbearable.
“Wriothesley, please go get a glass of water” Said man did so wordlessly, he felt no guilt for his actions, Wriothesley had come across many people, and little were trustworthy, even less a random stranger that showed up right on the coast of Fontaine, more than half dead.
He came back quickly with a plastic cup of water, holding it to the wheezing teen.
Though it was rather concerning to see a teenager in such conditions, perhaps a child form the Hous of the Hearth? Had the Knave perhaps overestimated the capability of one of her children?
Wriothesley was brought out from his thoughts when the teen finally grabbed the cup, quickly bringing it to his lips and chugging the liquid down like he hadn't had a drop of water in a century.
“Who- who are you!?” He asked once he had finished his drink.
“We could ask you the same” The Duke countered instead of answering.
“I-” He wanted to get away from here, this man was rather intimidating.
Everything was too loud…
So painful still…
“Wriothesley! You told me you'd only be here in case something happened, so kindly, let me do the talking” The little lady scolded the man, making him back away from the bed. Had he not been so terrified to the bone, he would've found the display amusing.
“I am Sigewinne, the nurse at the Fortress of Meropide, do you remember what happened before waking up here?” Though she looked strange, he was not intimidated by her, something about her made him want to relax.
“… I am y/n… from the fourth division…. Under…. Alexander….”
That's right, the last he remembered was listening to his heart stop beating… This couldn't be…
“Y/n? What a beautiful name! Please, can you stand up so I can fix your stitches” She moved to get her medical supplies, unaware of the place his mind slowly trudged into as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“oh my-” Had she been just a little taller the metal box wouldn't have fallen down onto the metal floor and it wouldn't have caused such a loud noise to ring throughout the entire metal room.
From outside all y/n did was twitch, but inside his sense were submerged in the sounds and shadows of war, the static he constantly heard taking over and drowning out the real world.
“My apologies” Unaware of his inner turmoil, the nurse got closer to him, supplies ready in hand.
One moment she reached out to him then her hand was slapped away as her patient began to visibly tremble, his eyes dark with fight taking over the flight instinct. The next y/n was pushed back into the bed, a forearm pressed to his windpipe while the small blade he had aquired from the medical box lodged itself into the wardens shoulder.
“Wriothesley!!” It all happened so quickly she couldn't keep up.
“Let go of me-” y/n was cut off as the pressure on his throat increased. In retaliation he dug the knife deeper, twisting it.
All of a sudden a chill overtook the room, everything going dead quiet. The cold woke him up, dispelling the shadows he saw instead of the human silhouettes.
“You let the nurse treat you or we will let you bleed out, you understand?” Everything was so cold, as if ice itself was forming around him. Slowly, he let go of the knife, lowering his arm back into the mattress. The pressure around his neck only disappeared after he had gone completely lax, showing no signs of an incoming attack.
Wriothesley straighten, only huffing quietly when pulling the knife out, turning to the stunned Sigewinne.
“Could you take care of this for me Sigewinne?” After the initial shock wore off, she quickly got moving again, making the warden sit down while she started dressing his wound while he was occupied with assessing y/n.
It was a small wound, but the patient had stabbed it into his shoulder strong enough to cause serious harm. What an inconvenience the warden couldn't help but think.
Y/n continued laying on the bed, too exhausted to move, pain and unrest making his limbs twitch from time to time as he listened to the quiet conversation this man Wriothesley and the nurse had in whispered tones.
“Sige, I don't want you to be alone when you treat him, got it?”
“Wriothesley… I'm sure he didn't mean it, just look at the kid…” Look at him he did, and even if this was just another kid, kids were very much capable of murder, he knew first hand.
“Sige, he was about to stab you, had I been only a second late you would be bleeding out on the ground right now, this is finale” His glare intensified, the temperatures dropping yet again.
The accused shivered, be it from the chilling temperatures or the icy glare directed at him.
“Mike!” Wriothesley called for a guard standing outside the doors.
“Yes sir?” The terrified man entered, afraid of being the subject of the wardens ire.
“I want you to pass this message onto Monsieur Neuvillette”
“But shouldn't you-”
“Listen closely, word for word: at 23:42 we found a stranded man, approximate age between 19-22, on the coast near the Fortress of Meropide, after waking up at 5:07 he proceeded to attack nurse Sigewinne and managed to wound me, he'll be temporarily arrested and jailed for attempted murder until we can resolve this case in court, end.” After assuring the warden was finished, the guard dashed out of the room eager to get away from the tense atmosphere.
“Wriothesley… are you sure?” Sigewinne was unsure if this was the right course of action, she had seen people act irrationally before, and by the look in the patients eyes, he had not done so unprovoked with the intent to kill her, rather just defend himself. It had just turned out rather violently…
She hadn't expected for the patient to move so quickly with the state he was in….
Oh! Y/n!
He's been too quiet. When finally finishing the few stitches Wriothesley needed, she quickly turned to the man in the bed, completely unmoving, blood already seeping into the white covers.
The stitches running across his back must've opened while he struggled against Wriothesley’s hold on his neck. This doesn't look good...
“Wriothesley, please help me turn him over, or I cannot treat him like this, please” She pled with the warden who begrudgingly stood up and pulled the kid further up the bed with his uninjured arm and then turned him over so that Sigewinne had better access to his back.
And damn…
Again, he didn't regret his actions, he rarely did, but that was a lot of blood covering a persons back…
“Not good… they are completely torn, Wriothesley, hand me my box” He again did so without saying anything, simply watching as she cut open the shirt they had dressed him in, revealing the absolute butchered skin of the patients back.
In all honesty, Wriothesley has never seen somebody look like that and still be alive: apart from three, non-fatal bullet wounds and countless cuts of varying sizes and depth, the kid had one big, inconsistand wound that ran from the upper right side of his head all the way to his knee. The cause of his wound seemed to have been an explosion. It was a miracle that Sigewinne had managed to salvage his right arm, it was almost completely torn off…
Recovery was not going to be easy, that was for sure… But with Sigewinne's healing abilities and the physical condition of this stranger Wriothesley was sure it was going to go quicker than for most.
Heck, this kid shouldn't even be alive, the ocean was tainted red where they found him, sand having turned red as rubies for archons sake!
Whoever did this will be brought to court, doesn't matter if this man was guilty himself. That promised Wriothesley to the unconscious teen.
“Alright… this should do it for now” Sigewinne clapped her hands together after finishing the final stich and reapplying fresh bandages.
“Go to bed now Wriothesley, it isn't healthy for humans to stay awake for so long” Again, overly caring towards everyone, but Wriothesley will let it slide this time.
“I'll send a guard into the infirmary, the patient is so be supervised by a guard at all times” He replied, walking to the door before stopping and glancing back at Sigewinne.
“Rest for a little as well nurse, you've exhausted your healing quite a bit today”
“Don't worry Duke, after taking some vitals I'll retreat to my chambers as well” They had know each other for so long, it was hard not to express worry for the other.
“Now, Y/n… I hope that when you wake up you can explain what happened…” After finishing up the last things Sigewinne had in mind, she too left for her bed, sleeping the few hours left before she had to wake up again.
She, much like a human, also had to rest, especially after such an exhausting night…