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Nancy still wasn’t sure if dropping out of Emerson had been the right choice, but so far, she was doing pretty well, all things considered. Her job didn’t pay much but at least she was respected there, more than she ever had in any school setting. Then again, she was mostly just glad to have made it out of Indiana.
She almost didn’t go back to Hawkins for Mike’s graduation, but the entire family insisted, constantly calling her until she finally gave in. They could be surprisingly convincing, especially when they started to make her feel guilty. So Nancy took a few days off work, packed a bag, and made her way back home, trying to ignore the dread bubbling up inside her with each mile she crossed.
At least she didn’t have to make her way there alone like she had originally thought. Just as she was about to go and book her flight, the phone rang. She almost ignored it, thinking that it was just her mom again, but something made her answer after a few rings anyway, and that ended up being one of the best choices she had ever made.
“Hey, Nance, how have you been? I assume you’re going back to Hawkins for your brother’s graduation, and I just wanted to let you know that I am, too, so if you want to, we could go together. If you want to fly, that fine, of course, but I finally got my licence a little while ago and I was thinking of doing a road trip, and stuff like that is just way more fun with other people. So, do you want to drive with me? I’ll pick you up at your place and everything…”
She recognized Robin’s voice instantly, and started smiling despite herself before her mind could even comprehend even a fraction of the wave of words rushing through the phone. There was just something about Robin that always made her feel both nervous and at ease, all at the same time. No one else had ever had that effect on her, and it took leaving her home town and everyone she knew to figure out why. Now that she knew, it felt kind of silly that she hadn’t been able to see it before.
Because of this strange and overwhelming combination of emotions, it took Nancy a moment to figure out how to respond, so it was a good thing that Robin would gladly talk for hours on end. Nancy let her ramble on until she finally remembered how to speak again. Then, she just waited for Robin to take a breath so it wouldn’t be quite as much of an interruption when she cut in with her response.
“Are you aware that this is going to take forever? I’m pretty sure we would be just driving for fifteen hours straight, one way…”
Nancy really hoped that Robin wouldn’t take this as rejection, and would have likely thrown in a few more words for clarification – she was usually much better at expressing herself precisely, but things were always different with Robin – but luckily, she didn’t need to worry about that for long.
Robin started talking again pretty much as soon as Nancy was done, though she didn’t interrupt her, which was a nice touch. She still sounded just as excited as she had at the beginning of the call, her mood not dimmed by Nancy’s comment at all. If anything, she sounded even more enthusiastic than before, still trying to convince Nancy.
“Yeah, and I totally get that, so you really don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to. I really don’t want to pressure you, but I think it could be a lot of fun, and it’d give us some time to catch up. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”
And how could Nancy possibly say no to that? After all, she had missed Robin, too, even if she wasn’t quite ready to say that out loud yet. Instead, she just hummed in agreement and let Robin ramble on a little while longer before they actually started planning their trip. That quickly devolved into a discussion about if they should just drive all the way through in one day or take a break and get a cheap motel room for the night to make things a bit easier.
It took a few hours, but they eventually got to the conclusion that they would just drive as long as they could, and decide if they needed a break when they were already on the road. Robin was still convinced that they could do it all in one day, but Nancy doubted it. Sure, she thought it was technically possible, but why should they bother with any of that when they could turn it into a far more comfortable two-day trip?
All in all, they were on the phone for over two hours, though only a fraction of that time was actually spent planning their trip. Mostly, they just talked about whatever came to mind until Robin’s dorm mates kicked her off the only phone on their floor so they could also use it. Nancy’s tiny one-bedroom apartment suddenly felt way too quiet as soon as she hung up.
The next week dragged by and Nancy mostly just went through the motions, waiting for Friday, when Robin would show up early so they could hit the road before the day even really started. She packed and unpacked her bag several times, and bought way too many snacks for two people, but it still didn’t feel like enough. Mostly, she just waited.
Nancy was up at four in the morning on Friday, re-packing her bag one last time and downing way more coffee than could possibly be healthy, all just to pass the time until Robin finally showed up at seven, honking the horn instead of just walking up to the door and ringing the bell like a normal person would have. Luckily, Nancy was already prepared, so she grabbed her bag and was outside in less than a minute, even with her double-checking the locks.
Robin’s car was nothing special, just a small station wagon that had to be at least two decades old already, but it just fit Robin so perfectly that Nancy could find nothing to complain about. It didn’t really matter either way, though, as long as the car safely got both of them and all of their stuff to Hawkins and back.
The car was still running but Robin got out anyway, pulling Nancy into a tight hug and popping the trunk so she could put her suitcase inside, though she made sure to keep the smaller bag that held all of their snacks with her as she got into the passenger seat, getting comfortable before Robin could even start the car up again.
There was some music barely playing from the radio, quiet and a bit scratchy because the station was almost out of range. Nancy could barely recognize the song, but it made for nice background noise regardless, so it didn’t really matter. Besides, Robin was already talking a mile a minute, and her voice was more interesting to listen to than any song could possibly be.
It was still early, and Nancy was running on nothing but anticipation and caffeine, but Robin seemed completely fine and normal, just her usual energetic self. It was nice, and Nancy quickly let herself slip into the comfort of old familiarity and confusing affection. Robin talked nearly non-stop, catching Nancy up on everything she had experienced since they had last seen and only taking short breaks when Nancy had to read off directions for her so they wouldn’t get lost.
By the time they made it out of Boston and onto the highway, nearly an hour had passed and Nancy’s lack of sleep was starting to catch up to her. She tried to suppress her yawns but most of them escaped anyway, but she still managed to stay awake and more or less alert by listening to Robin and looking out of the window at the road in front of them.
There were more cars on the road than there should have been, but at least for now, it was fine, just a bit louder than it would have otherwise been. So, the first few hours of their drive passed by quite nicely. Robin spent over an hour explaining some paper she was working on for one of her classes, and they went through several cups of coffee from Nancy’s thermos each, but mostly they both just enjoyed finally getting to spend some time together again.
They kept snacking on everything Nancy had packed – mostly cookies and candy, though there were also a few more healthy choices in her bag – but by the time the early afternoon came around, they were both hungry anyway, and decided that it was probably time to get some real food, and to take a break that lasted for longer than five minutes so they could both stretch their legs and just breathe the fresh outside air for a little while.
It took nearly another hour until they reached the next small town, leaving the highway behind and driving all the way into the town centre so they could take a proper break from their hours on the road. The town wasn’t particularly interesting, really barely more than a village, but there was a small diner that advertised fresh coffee and smelled like good food, so it fit their needs just fine.
Since the lunch rush was already over, the diner was pretty much empty, which meant that they barely had to wait to get served. A few minutes later, they were sitting in a booth, two steaming cups of coffee and two plates overflowing with fries and a generous burger each on the table between them.
Now that she had a full meal in front of her, Robin stopped talking for a few minutes for the first time that day. She smiled happily as she ate, and for a moment, Nancy forgot all about her own food because she was too busy watching her friend to think of anything else. That definitely shouldn’t have happened, but luckily Robin was too absorbed in her food to notice, so Nancy managed to play it off.
Unlike Robin, Nancy took her time with her food, even draining an entire cup of coffee before she started eating. Their waitress, a nice older woman, refilled the cup with a smile but without commenting on either of their unusual table manners. At that point, Robin had already worked her way through more than half of her own fries and was happily devouring the last bites of her burger. Nancy was pretty sure that she didn’t even chew her food. It should have been gross, but instead it was just plainly endearing.
By the time Nancy was sipping at her third cup of coffee, enjoying the way the caffeine settled into her bloodstream and chased away her exhaustion, Robin’s plate was empty, only a small smudge of ketchup remaining near its edge. Whenever she thought Nancy wasn’t looking, Robin reached across the table and nicked more fries from Nancy’s plate, shoving them into her mouth as if that didn’t make what she was doing even more obvious.
Nancy was kind of tempted to call her out, just to see what would happen, but at least for now, she had too much fun simply watching Robin’s shenanigans to change anything about their situation just yet. After a while, it got too ridiculous, so Nancy pushed the plate closer towards Robin, placing it in the middle of the table so they could share the fries equally.
They stayed in that diner for nearly an hour, and then walked around the small town for another thirty minutes or so, until they were finally ready to hit the road again. This time, Nancy drove while Robin was in the passenger seat, leaning back comfortably and turning up the radio whenever she heard a song she liked.
Meanwhile, Nancy just focussed on driving for a little while, always keeping her eyes on the road and trying not to get distracted by Robin, who wasn’t even doing anything. She was literally just sitting there, one knee drawn up to her chest, her hair blowing in the wind sweeping through the open window as she hummed along to the radio. Nancy almost crashed the car from the sight.
The next few hours went by relatively normally. They switched drivers again at one point, and just spent the afternoon talking to each other or simply listening to music. Unfortunately, they got stuck in three different traffic jams – all of them caused by accidents – so everything took significantly longer than it should have.
When the sun went down and they had still only made it about halfway to Hawkins, Robin finally agreed that it would probably be smarter to spend the night somewhere and continue driving in the morning. Luckily, they spotted a small motel by the side of the road not long after, so they didn’t need to keep going too much longer.
At this point, Nancy was already halfway asleep in the passenger seat, her sleepless night finally catching up with her, and even Robin couldn’t stop yawning and rubbing at her eyes. She pulled into the motel’s surprisingly crowded parking lot and reached out towards Nancy, gently touching her shoulder to let her know that they were there. She hadn’t actually been sleeping, just resting her eyes, but it was still nice to be reminded this way.
There was a tired-looking young man sitting behind the reception desk, smoking and flipping through a magazine. He didn’t even look up when they walked towards him so Robin had to ding the bell on his desk to get his attention. Even then, he rolled his eyes and sighed deeply before telling them that there was only one room left, and complained under his breath when he went to look for the key.
The room was run-down and smelled vaguely of mould and stale cigarettes, but it would do for the night, and it was still much better than sleeping in the car or driving through the night. Nancy was so tired that it took her a moment to figure out why Robin had stopped walking as soon as they got the door open, seemingly frozen in place.
Right there, in the middle of the room, was the bed. The only bed, because there was only one bed in the room. It was queen-sized and looked surprisingly comfortable for where they were, but there was only one, and that seemed to be an issue for Robin, though Nancy didn’t see any problems with the situation.
Robin immediately started talking nonsense about how she would sleep on the floor, and that the carped actually didn’t look that uncomfortable so she wouldn’t mind sleeping there, rambling on about how she wouldn’t mind at all if Nancy took the bed all for herself. She didn’t even sound upset about it, more like she hadn’t considered the much more obvious alternative at all. So Nancy decided to point it out for her.
“What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t we just share the bed?”
Nancy didn’t even try to hide her confusion, but she managed to suppress her laughter when Robin looked back at her, just as confused as Nancy felt. They just stared at each other for a long moment. It looked like Robin was going to argue, like she would insist on the floor, but Nancy glared at her until Robin gave in and walked over to the bed, kicking off her shoes but staying in her button-up and jeans even as she flopped down onto the mattress.
Usually, Nancy never went to sleep without at least brushing her teeth and washing up a little, but this time, she was too exhausted for any of that. She was already wearing relatively comfortable clothes, so she just slipped under the blanket as she was. She stayed awake just long enough for Robin to join her, though she still kept her distance.
If Nancy hadn’t been so tired, she might have considered that Robin was actually uncomfortable with being this close to her, but since her brain wasn’t working right, she was fully convinced that she just didn’t want to make Nancy uncomfortable by getting too close. Since the proximity wasn’t bothering her at all, Nancy rolled over, closer towards Robin, until she could fully curl into her side.
Robin hesitated for what felt like a lifetime, then she slowly and very carefully shifted around so they could both get comfortable, close enough to touch but not quite cuddling, either. Nancy instantly felt more relaxed than she had all day, so it wasn’t surprising that she fell asleep only seconds later.
She slept better than she had in months, maybe even years. Even while unconscious, Nancy was still vaguely aware of Robin’s body wrapping around her, holding her close all night long. For reasons she wasn’t ready to address, but that gave her some rather specific dreams all the same, that just made her sleep even better.
They woke up late the next morning, and took their time doing so. Robin was still wrapped completely around Nancy, who was curled into her and hugging her back just as tightly. It was nice, and much warmer than Nancy normally was at night, but not in an even remotely uncomfortable way. Nancy was incredibly tempted to just keep her eyes closed and go back to sleep for a few more hours, not because she needed it but just because she was comfortable and happy right where she was.
But Robin was moving around, clearly waking up as well, and Nancy didn’t want to force her to stay in bed longer than she wanted to just for her own selfish reasons. She still let herself enjoy it for a heartbeat or two before reluctantly moving away to get up. Robin grumbled but let her go, sitting up on the bed as well.
Her hair was sticking up wildly on one side of her head, giving her the most adorable bed-head Nancy had ever seen, especially combined with her half-closed eyes and that sleepy smile that always made Nancy’s heart flutter in her chest. She had to turn away just so she wouldn’t lose all composure and pull Robin into what would have most likely been the best kiss of her entire life right then and there.
But that would have crossed so many lines, so she got up and disappeared into the bathroom instead. The water pressure of the shower was nearly non-existent, and the water didn’t heat up past room temperature, so Nancy only took a very short shower and came back into the room a few minutes later. By then, Robin had gotten dressed as well and was busy brushing and styling her hair, wincing whenever the brush got caught in a tangle.
A few minutes later, they were ready to check out, all of their stuff back in the car and both of them looking more or less presentable. It was Nancy’s turn to drive again, which meant that Robin sprawled out in the passenger seat, her head tilted back, and dozed off again until Nancy pulled into the parking lot of some diner an hour later so they could have breakfast.
Neither of them said much until Nancy was on her second cup of coffee and Robin had eaten half a stack of pancakes. There was a drop of syrup in the corner of her mouth, shining in the diner’s fluorescent lights, and Nancy had to hold her cup with both hands so she wouldn’t reach out and wipe it away. Instead, she finally started talking for the first time that day, preparing to ask something that had been on her mind for a while.
“Can I ask you something?”
Robin was chewing on another too-large bite of pancake, so she couldn’t answer right away. Instead, she just nodded and started chewing faster, nearly choking on her food in her hurry to get it down as quickly as she could. She had to cough a bit to clear her throat before she finally managed to answer.
“Sure, go ahead.”
Nancy wanted to laugh because Robin had gone through all of that just to say something that could have been easily conveyed with a simple nod, and also because there really was no need to hurry through things this way, but she held herself back and just smiled a little instead. It wasn’t even that funny, there was just something about this entire situation that made Nancy feel far less serious than she normally would.
But the stuff she was about to ask wasn’t just a joke, so she made herself sober up a bit, even if it took a moment and Robin was clearly impatient that morning. She took another sip of coffee and a bite of her quickly cooling eggs before she finally asked the question that had been weighing on her mind for over a year at this point.
“Back when we first started hanging out, at the beginning of all of that Vecna business, why did you keep insisting that you and Steve are just friends?”
In hindsight, she should have probably waited another moment before asking, because Robin had been in the middle of taking a sip of orange juice, half of which apparently made its way up her nose when she tried to gasp in surprise. She sputtered and gasped but still somehow managed to smile gratefully at Nancy when she handed her a napkin so she could wipe away the juice that had dribbled out of her mouth and nose.
After a few shaking breaths, Robin managed to calm down and catch her breath again, though the red tint in her cheeks stayed there for a few minutes afterwards. Somehow, that just made her look even more beautiful, in a strange way Nancy still hadn’t fully figured out. She did her best to ignore the way her heart fluttered so she could focus on Robin’s explanation.
“I could tell that you were getting jealous, and I didn’t want you to feel threatened because of a misunderstanding. Also, you can be kind of scary sometimes and I really didn’t want you to come after me with one of your guns…”
Robin sounded shy in a way Nancy hadn’t heard from her in ages, and she wouldn’t even look directly at her, instead staring down at her food like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. Nancy just blinked at her for a long moment, trying to wrap her head around the complete and utter nonsense Robin had just spewed. She didn’t even know where to start arguing so no actual words came out when she first opened her mouth, but then something burst forward anyway.
“I wasn’t jealous!”
Nancy knew that she probably sounded defensive, maybe even indignant, but she couldn’t help it. It was either that or laughing out loud at how ridiculous this all sounded, and she didn’t want to draw any unneeded attention to them. Her outburst, small as it was, already earned them a few curious glances, though Robin didn’t seem to notice.
She had stopped looking at her food and was unabashedly staring at Nancy again instead. She looked so incredulous that it would have been funny if Nancy hadn’t been at least a little offended that Robin would even dare to think something like that. That feeling, along with the urge to laugh, only got stronger when Robin doubled down on her ridiculous theory.
“Yes you were! It was obvious, even Steve noticed, I think.”
The strangest thing was that Robin sounded so sure of herself, to the point where she almost got Nancy to believe her as well. It at the very least made her think back to that time, something she usually liked to avoid at all costs, and reconsider how she had acted back then.
Now that she really thought about it, she could sort of see where Robin was coming from. She knew that it wasn’t true, of course, but she had acted strangely back then, and from the outside looking in, her behaviour might have accidentally given Robin – and, horrifyingly, also everyone else – the impression that she was still interested in Steve for some reason.
And since just outright denying it clearly didn’t work, she decided to at least somewhat clear it up, even if that was absolutely terrifying. She took another sip of her now-cold coffee to calm her nerves a bit, which obviously didn’t even remotely work, but she still managed to get the words out regardless, no matter how much they fought her.
“Fine, then; maybe I was a bit jealous, but not of you. I got over Steve way before that…”
Nancy still couldn’t get the full truth out, even while looking down into her cup in a desperate attempt to escape Robin’s ever-present gaze. Rationally, she knew that she hadn’t actually said anything incriminating yet, but that didn’t really calm her racing heart, or keep her mind from spinning and coming up with worst-case scenarios about being brutally rejected or even mocked for her feelings.
She knew that she wasn’t being fair, and that even if Robin figured out what she had carefully avoided saying and didn’t feel the same, she still wouldn’t be cruel about it, but Nancy still felt terrible regardless. After all, fear wasn’t rational – if it had been, Nancy wouldn’t be more terrified now that she had been every time she went into the Upside Down.
Panic was quickly spreading through her body, making her shake and taking the air from her lungs. She had to fight to hide how she felt, not wanting to embarrass herself even more than she already had. There was a rushing in her ears that made it hard to hear Robin’s response when it finally came.
“What does that even mean? You thought he was gonna steal Jonathan from you or something? Because you have to know that I would never do that!”
Robin was getting a bit too loud for breakfast in a random diner, but Nancy couldn’t focus on that, not with everything else going on in her mind. The thought of Robin and Jonathan sent her mind spinning and a short burst of laughter escaped her mouth, though she pushed it back down almost as soon as it came out.
In a less tense situation, Nancy might have made a joke about how ridiculous the idea of those two together was, but that would have definitely side-tracked the conversation, and then Nancy would never be able to build up the courage to say what she needed to say. Even now, she had to fight every fibre of her very being to force out some words that really only passed as a confession if you really read between the lines.
“I thought that you were into Steve, not the other way around…”
And just like that, the truth was out and there was nothing left for Nancy to do but wait and see how Robin would react. The wait got more uncomfortable and tenser the longer the silence stretched on between them. Nancy knew that she would probably be less terrified if she could just bring herself to look at Robin, because that way, she would at least know what was going on, one way or another, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from her plate, still nearly full because she hadn’t been able to eat much with all of that fear flooding her body.
She could feel her heart beating, the blood thrumming in her ears and across her skull, and all she could think about was that Robin still wasn’t saying anything. At this point, even rejection and mockery would have been better than this horrible uncertainty. She found herself almost longing for it, and was close to begging for any sort of response, no matter what it was.
But when she opened her mouth, no sounds came out. In fact, it was getting kind of hard just to breathe, and the world was spinning a bit. That probably wasn’t good, but Nancy was too preoccupied to care. There were more important issues to deal with, like how she had most likely just messed everything up, or how she should at the very least have waited until they were back in Hawkins, because now she would have to spend who knows how many hours in the same car as Robin, which was gearing up to be the most awkward experience of her life.
Then, just as the first tears threatened to fall from Nancy’s eyes, there was suddenly a hand resting on her arm, gentle and warm in ways she was pretty sure she didn’t deserve but revelled in nevertheless. The hand moved down her arms until it was resting on top of her fingers instead, and then Robin squeezed – just once, and with so little pressure that it couldn’t possibly have hurt anyone.
That was what finally got Nancy to look up again. When she did, her breath caught in her throat in a completely different way. Robin’s face was completely open, not a trace of judgement anywhere to be seen, and Nancy was left staring for a too-long moment again. There was a spark in her eyes and a blush on her cheeks, all of which just made her look even more beautiful.
“I’m not sure if I understood you right, are you really saying what I think you’re saying?”
Robin’s voice came through a bit muddled over the rushing in Nancy’s ears, but after a short moment of thinking, she figured out what she was saying. She tried to answer, but when she opened her mouth, her voice refused to come out, so she just nodded and took another sip of cold coffee, hoping that that would help her get her voice back.
In response to Nancy’s nodding, Robin just lit up even more. At this point, she was practically glowing, which should have been painful to look at but instead just meant that Nancy couldn’t tear her eyes away. Now that her panic was quickly fading away and being replaced with on overwhelming sense of relief, she was a bit ashamed for how extreme her reaction had been, especially considering that Robin hadn’t even rejected her, she’d just needed a moment to figure out her answer.
That wasn’t even anything new, Nancy already knew that Robin sometimes needed a moment to find the right words, just like she sometimes tended to ramble when her thoughts got away from her. In her panic, Nancy had completely forgotten about that, but now that she remembered, it seemed obvious, like she should have known that was what was happening from the start.
Now that all of those things had finally been cleared up, though of course still not entirely, Nancy could breathe and think again. Robin hadn’t actually said anything yet, but her eyes gave away how she felt even before she finally started talking.
“Great! In that case, do you maybe want to go on a date with me when we get to Hawkins? Or some other time, I guess, we don’t have to go out at home if you don’t want people to know…”
As soon as Robin started, she clearly couldn’t stop. The words came out fast and full of enthusiasm and Nancy could have listened to her talk for hours. Robin would have probably done it, too, if Nancy let her. But she had asked a question and Nancy wasn’t just going to leave her hanging. So she waited until Robin had to take a breath and interrupted her before she could get going again.
“My family will probably want to have me home for dinner tonight, but I would love to go on a date with you tomorrow.”
At first, Nancy felt a bit bad for interrupting Robin this way, but the way she beamed as soon as Nancy agreed to the date immediately soothed her guilt again. Her mood got even better when Robin started talking once again, already planning everything they could do together, clearly just as excited as Nancy was.
They took their time finishing breakfast, in no rush to get back on the road whatsoever, and when they finally paid around an hour later, they were both happy and relaxed from the decent food and better company. The rest of the drive back to Hawkins was just as nice, with clear roads, a sunny sky, and good music playing on the radio, the volume turned down low so Nancy could listen to Robin’s ramblings.