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“You’re doing what to the polynomials?” Buck asks, sounding distressed, and Eddie grins down at the pan he is scrubbing at the sink.
“Dividing them,” Christopher repeats impatiently. “Buck, this is tenth grade math.”
“Advanced tenth grade math,” Buck reminds him, tone full of pride. “And I was in tenth grade almost twenty years ago, man.”
“It’s like you want me to call you old,” Christopher mutters.
“Moving on. Give me a refresher and I’ll see how I can help. What’s the first step?”
“So first you rewrite the equations like this,” Christopher demonstrates. “And then…” he pauses. “We factor this. Or, no, do long division? I think we can do both.”
Eddie is glad that Buck has become the default for working on math homework. Just hearing Christopher talk about it is making his head swim.
“Do you have some notes? Or an example problem?” Buck prompts, and Christopher hums.
“Oh yeah, yeah just let me…” He flips through his folder then sighs, muttering something about Mikayla borrowing his notes before grabbing his crutches and retreating to his room.
Eddie glances over his shoulder to see that Buck is already looking at him and gives him a wink. Eddie rolls his eyes but turns away before Buck can notice his cheeks flushing.
Christopher returns with his backpack and finds the packet he was looking for, showing it to Buck, who groans. “Okay, can you translate this into English? If anything, I’m just more lost.”
Christopher sighs but starts to walk Buck through the steps of the example problem in his notes. They’re working at the kitchen island instead of the dining table, Buck having made some fuss about the chairs here being more comfortable, but Eddie is pretty sure it was just an excuse for the three of them to be in the same room together, which he is grateful for. Eddie listens absently to their voices as he washes the dishes from dinner, their familiar laughs a soothing balm on the ache that still lingers from the months when the three of them were apart. He lets it wash over him again and again until all he can feel right now is content, peace, love. He lingers on that last thought as he watches Buck nod along intently to Christopher’s explanation of how to solve the third homework problem, beaming when Christopher tells him he did the right step and staring at the page with a comically blank expression when he gets stuck once until Christopher helps him out.
Buck catches him staring and Eddie jumps slightly, wondering how long he’s been standing there like an idiot just staring at his best-friend-slash-roommate-slash-love-of-his-life, and he matches Buck’s smile before turning around and searching for something to do with his hands. He just wiped down the counters, but his eyes land on the hand towel he dried his hands with and settles on doing a load of laundry, but as he grabs it and heads to the bathroom in search of other towels to clean, Buck calls after him, “Washed them this morning.”
Of course he did, because Eddie hates doing laundry, and Buck knows this, and he’s always sneaking behind his back to get it done when Eddie isn’t paying attention because he knows Eddie will not hesitate to do it even though he doesn’t like it. Whenever he notices the empty clothes hamper or opens his drawers to see them full of clean, folded clothes, the brief flash of joy he always feels as he realizes he’s saved from such a horrendous task is nothing compared to the rush of ecstasy because Buck noticed, Buck took care of it for him, Buck took care of him.
He wonders, not for the first time, still frozen in the hallway where he had stopped on his path to gather towels, how he ended up in this situation. Sharing a house with the man he loves, sharing meals as a family, hell, even sharing everything that it means to be a dad to Christopher. It’s almost embarrassing that he only realized his feelings for Buck so recently, given how natural it is for them to share a life together.
Eddie returns to the kitchen. “Thank you,” he tells Buck. He’s not just talking about the laundry, or helping Christopher with his math homework, but he doesn’t know how to say all of it. Thankfully, it seems that Buck already knows, judging by how soft his smile turns.
“Anytime,” he says, voice impossibly sweet, and Eddie could melt.
Christopher puts his pencil down loudly. “Okay, that’s the last one. Does that look correct?”
“Did you show your work?” Buck asks automatically as he turns to the page.
“Yes,” Christopher says, slightly exasperated. “Just like I did for every other problem.”
Buck hums as he looks through the problem, then beams up at Christopher. “Looks good to me, Superman.”
Christopher has taken to rolling his eyes at the nickname these days, but he can never quite hide the smile that still tugs at his lips as he does. The Diaz boys are not immune to Buck, no matter how hard they may try. “Thanks, Buck.”
“How do you feel about that test on Thursday?”
Christopher pauses, like he’s seriously thinking about it, then he nods and starts putting everything away in his backpack. “Pretty good, actually. I didn’t realize I was missing that step with the negatives, now that I got it figured out I’m not worried anymore.”
“That’s awesome, buddy. You got this. We can do some more practice tomorrow, if you want, since we’ll be on shift Wednesday,” he offers.
Christopher nods. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight!” Buck says, and Eddie echoes him, stepping forward to press a kiss to the top of Christopher’s curls. Christopher mumbles “Goodnight” to them before going down the hall to the bathroom. The door closes and Buck and Eddie are left alone in the silence.
“Beer?” he offers automatically, needing to do something with his hands that isn’t reaching out to Buck. It’s been like this, the last couple of weeks. It was only two days after coming out to Christopher that his son turned to him in the car and asked, “So, does this mean you and Buck are dating?” Eddie stammered over a no, but then had to ask if it would be so crazy if he and Buck did date, one day, and Christopher groaned and said, “Just ask him out, dad.”
Ever since then, every time it’s the two of them alone, it’s like his skin is crawling, and he needs something to distract him, some kind of safe territory for his hands and his mind to fall back on.
“Nah,” Buck shakes his head. “We got any ice cream left?”
Eddie opens the freezer and pulls out two cartons. “You know, we never used to have this much ice cream around. I’m starting to think you’re a bad influence.”
“You love it,” Buck says, which makes Eddie’s heart race. “And that’s a lie. You just never let yourself get your gross mint flavor so I have to be the one to do it.”
“If you call it toothpaste one more time…” Eddie starts to warn as he turns to the grocery list on the fridge to add said ice cream flavor. He freezes when he sees it’s already written there, in Buck’s messy handwriting, Eddie’s ice cream.
Every item on the list is written in Buck’s handwriting.
Next to the list is a calendar, a mix of both of their handwriting with reminders for appointments, shifts, and the next 118 family barbecue. Eddie’s eyes linger on Saturday, where Buck has written the times for two house viewings that he is interested in. Buck hadn’t discussed it with him, Eddie just noticed the addition one morning and is still working up the courage to bring it up.
Eddie stares at the calendar for a beat too long then clears his throat, turning to grab two bowls and two spoons and setting them aside while he waits for the ice cream to thaw. “Thanks for helping him with his homework.”
The bathroom door opens. Neither of them say anything as they listen to Christopher make his way down the hall and to his bedroom, the door closing behind him.
“You don’t have to thank me every time, Eddie, it’s what I do,” Buck finally says, teasing slightly. “I’d do anything for him, you know that. Including sitting through a page of math problems. And I’d do anything for you, ya know.”
Eddie does know that, and he wills the lump in his throat to go away when he says, “Well, I just want you to feel appreciated, is that so bad?”
Buck’s mouth drops open slightly in surprise, but he recovers. “Oh. Then…thank you.”
“You’re thanking me for thanking you?” Eddie smirks, leaning on the island on his elbows.
Buck rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”
Eddie laughs. “I think the best part of it is you’re saving both Chris and me from how frustrated I get over these problems. I swear math was not this hard when I was in high school.”
“Yeah, well, maybe it was, you were just too busy reading during class to notice.”
“I told you about that in confidence.” Eddie pretends to be offended, but he’s unable to keep a serious face. “Besides, it was just to impress a girl.”
“You never told me that part. How did that work out for you?”
“I nearly failed Geometry. But hey, if it hadn’t worked you wouldn’t have your very own math tutor at 34 years old.”
Buck laughs and Eddie watches it with a grin, throwing the nearest hand towel at him, and Buck catches it.
“Laugh it up, Buckley,” he says with no real heat behind it. “Glass houses and all that. Didn’t you have to attend summer school one year to make up a math class?”
Buck scoffs. “I flunked on purpose because Sara Jones of the cheerleading squad was going to do summer school, and I wanted to keep her company. I was generous like that.”
“Oh yeah? And how did that work out for you?” Eddie echoes.
Buck shrugs. “I actually spent most of the summer class staring at her twin brother. Better hair.”
Eddie snorts, then he’s laughing, and Buck is laughing, and it’s not like Christopher is actually trying to sleep quite yet, he probably has headphones on or is on his phone so, really, there’s no reason for them to try to keep quiet, but they do, and it feels even more intimate like this, the two of them laughing and shushing each other and honest to god giggling.
“Still, your super math powers could have helped you then,” Eddie says, once they’ve finally recovered. “And they could’ve helped you now. Instead you’re stuck working on tenth grade math for the third time in your life.”
A strange look flickers across Buck’s face, quick enough that only someone who knows him as well as Eddie does could even notice it. “Right.”
“What?” Eddie asks.
“N—“ Buck starts, and Eddie knows he’s about to say ”nothing”, but he changes course. “They, uh, didn’t go away, you know?”
Eddie frowns. “What didn’t go away?”
“My math, uh…after the lightning, I was really good at math? That…hasn’t gone away.”
“Oh.” Eddie blinks, then, “What?” Because he could’ve sworn…but looking back on it, there's no reason to think that it went away. No reason except…for the hours he has dedicated to making Eddie's son teach him math.
“I thought you knew,” Buck says honestly.
“Of course I didn’t know. You just had my fifteen year old son teach you about…polysomethings. The dividing. Factoring. Whatever it was. For the last thirty minutes.”
“I had him explain dividing polynomials to me,” Buck corrects. “To be fair, I don’t know all the steps. I can just…I don’t know how to explain it. I can figure out the problems by looking at them, but I’m not always good at tracing back how I got there. It just…makes sense to me. So okay, yeah, he is teaching me.”
“Huh,” Eddie says. His mind and heart are racing. He needs a distraction. He turns to the ice cream cartons. Mint chocolate chip for him, cookies and cream for Buck. The ice cream is soft as he scoops it into bowls and slides Buck’s over to him across the island, staying firmly on the other side, glad for the distance, for the obstacle between them. It feels safe. Eddie doesn’t register the taste at all but the cold sensation on his tongue is a welcome, grounding feeling.
Buck digs for the biggest cookie chunk he can find and pops it in his mouth. Eddie very pointedly looks away from his lips as he continues talking.
“And, I mean, I read this book that talked about the importance of teaching things you learn, because that way you remember them better, right? It’s called the Protégé Effect, so I thought I could give Christopher that opportunity to teach me, you know? To help him remember. It does wonders for retention.”
Eddie shoves more ice cream into his mouth. He’s going to get a brain freeze at this rate. If he had a pint of ice cream for every time Evan Buckley amazed him with just how much he cares, he would never run out again. He could be eating ice cream every day for the rest of his life.
“And I think it’s been working, I mean, he had a really hard time with math while in Texas, remember? His grades dropped so low he was worried he wouldn’t get into this advanced class. But based on how he’s been doing this year–”
“You read a book…” he interrupts, dazed. “And now you spend your free evenings letting my fifteen year old teach you how to solve the math you already know how to do.”
“Yeah. To help him learn,” Buck repeats around a mouthful of ice cream, as if Eddie could possibly forget that detail. “Besides, it’s either that or do the dishes.”
The dishes that Buck creates when Buck makes dinner for the three of them.
“Honestly,” Buck continues, “I think you got the rotten end of the deal, he makes a pretty great teacher, do you think he would want to pursue a career in education? I think he could teach even you a few new tricks, Eddie.”
Eddie puts his spoon down in his bowl. His hands are shaking slightly.
Buck looks unsure of what to do with Eddie’s silence, nervously directing his attention to digging through his ice cream again as he continues rambling, “I usually review how to solve it ahead of time, like, if he’s missing a step or something I have to make sure he fixes it, so don’t worry about that. It’s not like I’m leaving him in the dark completely.”
“What?” Eddie asks. His feet are slowly carrying him around the kitchen island. Closing the distance. Eliminating the obstacle between them.
“Yeah, I just watch a short video on it or do some practice problems. Sometimes both. Khan Academy? Great stuff. Ms. Miller mentioned it in the syllabus, so once I know what unit they’re on that week, I’m able to—“
Eddie had imagined the sensation of kissing his best friend so many times, but he had never imagined Buck’s lips feeling so cold. Hazard of kissing him between bites of ice cream, he supposes. Buck’s words die against his lips and his spoon clatters onto the floor as he, after one terrifying second of inaction, grabs a fistful of Eddie’s shirt — which actually belongs to Buck, now that he thinks about it — and pulls him even closer, kissing him back fiercely. The coldness was a thrilling surprise but the taste of ice cream on Buck’s mouth is an even better one as Eddie licks into his mouth, deepening the kiss for several moments before dragging himself away from Buck’s mouth.
“Is this— can I—?“ he starts, panting not so much from lack of air but from adrenaline.
“Yeah. Yes you can. Whenever you want, really, forever, even,” Buck stammers back, and Eddie huffs a laugh, then leans his forehead against Buck’s.
“Sorry, that was rude, you were saying something,” he says.
“I was?” Buck asks distractedly, and Eddie laughs, then laughs harder when he realizes Buck is being completely serious.
“Something about math, the syllabus, I could hardly focus, you just looked so good while doing it, and I…couldn’t resist. I’ve been working so hard to hold myself back for weeks but I can only control myself so much.”
“For weeks?” Buck practically whines, finally letting go of Eddie’s shirt and instead reaching out to hold him by the waist, his cold hands sliding up under his shirt. Eddie shivers at the touch. “We could’ve been doing this for weeks?”
“I was getting in my head about it,” Eddie admits quietly.
“What changed? The fact that I’m now an expert at dividing polynomials?” Buck teases with an eyebrow wiggle, but he looks curious about the answer.
Eddie smiles. “Buck. You’re practically earning another high school math credit for the sake of helping my son get a good education. You can’t tell me that and not expect me to want to get in your pants about it.”
Buck’s eyebrows shoot up, face flushing a gorgeous shade of pink. “That’s what gets you going?”
“What, you being a good role model and practical father to my son? Being good to me? Doing my least favorite chores and cooking our favorite meals and filling my house with the sound of your laughter? Yeah, Buck, that’s what does it for me,” he says, still smiling, then his face turns more serious. “It’s not just about what you do for us, though. It’s who you are. I fell in love with all of you, Buck.”
Buck inhales sharply and it takes Eddie a second to process the confession that just slipped out. He hadn’t meant to say it now, but it’s the truth, and the way Buck is looking at him stops him from trying to take it back. He waits to be hit by a wave of anxiety, but he just feels relieved to have the words finally out there.
“I…I love you too,” Buck says, voice barely above a whisper.
“Enough to cancel the viewings of those houses this weekend?” Eddie asks before he can stop himself.
“Eddie,” Buck laughs. “We just— we just kissed for the first time and you’re asking me to move in with you?”
“You already live here, don’t you?” he asks. “I’m asking you to not move out. And stop sleeping on the couch, you’re going to wreck your back.”
“Yeah, I can think of much better ways to wreck my back,” Buck mutters, his smile growing even wider as his fingers continue caressing Eddie’s bare skin.
“You’re insane.” Eddie rolls his eyes, pretending like that isn’t the only thing he is thinking of right now. He physically has to push himself away from Buck, needing the safety of the island between them again, grabbing his ice cream bowl and counting backwards from Christopher’s 7:30am school dropoff time.
Buck follows him, though, after just a few seconds of watching him, his hands drawn like magnets back to Eddie’s waist as he grabs him and backs him up against the counter. “In the meantime, though, we could go back to kissing.”
Eddie doesn’t need to be told twice, but they’re only kissing again for a few seconds before he is smirking against Buck’s lips at the desperation behind his kiss. “Are you a fan of mint chocolate chip, now?”
“Mm, totally. You taste like you just brushed your teeth,” Buck murmurs, now kissing along his jaw.
Eddie puts his hands on Buck’s chest and pushes him away, shaking his head, but the effect is ruined by the fact that he actually doesn’t want to move his hands away from Buck’s chest, maybe ever. “You are never kissing me again.”
He expects Buck to go back in, prove him wrong immediately, but he takes a step back, hands raised, Eddie’s own hands falling away and hanging at his sides. His fingers twitch with the need to touch Buck again so he crosses his arms. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“Oh my god,” Eddie mutters, and turns and starts washing his ice cream bowl to hide the stupid smile that Buck brings out in him. “You are impossible.”
“But you love me,” Buck sings, wrapping his arms around Eddie from behind and leaning in to press a kiss to the back of Eddie’s neck. His lips are no longer cold, but Eddie still shivers.
“Gross.”
Both of them jump at the interruption, Eddie dropping the bowl and wincing as it clatters loudly in the sink, Buck letting go of him and practically throwing himself at the counter a safe distance away from Eddie.
They both turn to where Christopher is hovering in the entryway, leaning against the wall. They had been too distracted to notice his door open or the sound of him coming down the hall.
“Hey! Chris! Hi!” Buck says, too loudly. Eddie and Christopher look at him like he’s insane. “We were just…”
He looks to Eddie for help, eyes panicked.
“He knows,” Eddie tells him. “I, uh, talked with him about this being a possibility a few weeks ago.”
Buck sighs in relief, still looking flustered. “And it’s…cool with you?” he asks awkwardly.
Christopher stares at him. “Obviously. Have you guys seen my headphones?”
“Sorry, were we talking too loudly?” Eddie asks. “We’re going to bed soon.” Buck coughs and Eddie’s cheeks flame. “I mean, we’re going to sleep! Separately. Like normal.”
Christopher sighs. “No, I just need to bring them to school tomorrow and I don't want to forget.”
“Oh! I moved them when I was cleaning the living room, I think they’re just…” Buck starts, leaving to go find them.
Christopher moves to follow him but stops, looking at Eddie. “Took you long enough.”
He’s smiling, though, and Eddie is smiling widely back at him, and when Buck makes his triumphant return with the headphones, Eddie can’t stop smiling at him, either.
Yeah. Took him long enough. But when Christopher retreats back to his room and Eddie does end up leading Buck to his bedroom to fall asleep in his arms, he thinks it was worth the wait.