Chapter Text
Hayden hates interviews. He hates putting on a nice yet casual outfit and sitting down with someone who asks him questions he doesn’t know how to answer. He hates feeling like his words are being picked apart and dissected by people smarter than him.
He’s a hockey player, not a talk show host or a comedian or a politician. He’s not charismatic like Rozanov or put together like Shane. It’s not that he’s anti-social by any means and he can give out passable answers to reporters when he’s still coming off of the adrenaline of a game but sometimes, on rare occasions, he’s asked to sit down and act like the C-list celebrity he is.
And, on some level, he blames Ilya Rozanov.
Well, Ilya and Shane equally, but he loves Shane too much to put the blame on him so he uses Ilya as a scapegoat for the situation he’s been put in today.
His agent informed he’s been asked for an interview by PinkNews.
When he asks why the hell they want to ask him questions, he’s told they’re doing a piece on queerness in hockey and they would like his insight into his role regarding the Rozanov-Hollander incident. His agent puts the word insight in quotes. He should really get a better agent.
He initially thinks he should refuse since he’s already breached enough of Shane’s privacy.
“No, you should do it,” Shane says over Facetime while meal prepping.
“What?”
“Yeah. If you want. They already reached out to us and asked us questions about it and being gay and bisexual in hockey.”
It surprises Hayden, to say the least, that his best friend who values privacy above all else would share details of the incident with tabloids.
“They aren’t like TMZ. They didn’t ask anything too personal. Ilya and I decided that we could start answering questions like that, when we get asked them. Now that the buzz about it is finally starting to die down, it’s easier to talk about. Plus, the point of the article is to talk about homophobia in sports so-” Shane licks his finger which is covered in excess smoothie, “it felt like a good cause.”
Hayden hums and says he’ll think about it, “I just don’t know what I’ll say. I don’t wanna make anything worse.”
“Hayden, buddy, I’m gonna be honest and tell you that I don’t think you could make anything worse if you tried. We’re already out, everyone knows about us, the worst thing that could have happened to us has already happened. Just don’t, like, tell anyone about our sex life or accidentally give out our address and you should be fine.”
It stings a little, knowing that the worst thing that could have happened to them was caused directly by Hayden, even if he knows full well that neither Shane nor Ilya, somehow, hold it against him.
So he sits down at his computer and clicks the Zoom meeting link the reporter sends to his email.
“Good morning, Mr. Pike, how are you?” The young person sitting in front of him greets him cheerfully. The tag on the bottom of the screen says Dana Dierden followed by “they/them” in parentheses. Shit, should he have put his pronouns? Is it asshole behavior to assume they would know what he gets called?
“Uh, you can just call me Hayden. I’m great, thanks for asking. How ‘bout you?”
“I’m great, thanks. I’m very excited to be sitting down with you today to talk about everything. I just wanna say off the top that if you feel uncomfortable with a question, please feel free to let me know and we can skip past it. I know that the outing incident was a sensitive situation so I understand if there’s things you wanna leave off the record. This is just about getting your perspective on the situation and as a hockey player.”
As a hockey player. Yeah, he could do that. He knows how to answer hockey questions.
“Awesome, yeah.”
Dana glances at him and Hayden suddenly realizes he’s been bouncing his leg and shaking his computer. “Oh, sorry.” He stills himself.
Dana laughs, “It’s okay. So, after the initial outing, social media was on fire. Some people were supportive, some thought it was a prank, and others, of course, were very resistant. Do you remember the moment you realized how out of control the situation had become?”
“Um, yeah, I remember seeing the post and realizing what had happened. It felt surreal, obviously. I mostly remember feeling like my best friend’s career could be over because of a mistake that I made. It was terrifying.” He realizes that could make him sound a little self-centered. After all, he’s not the one who got outed. “I mean, I was terrified for Shane in particular. Rozanov, too, of course. I just- I didn’t know what was gonna happen to him. To them.”
Dana hums and nods, “I wanna talk about the fear that Hollander’s career could have ended over him being outed as gay. Following Scott Hunter’s coming out, there were other queer hockey players who had come out but who seemingly were never seen in the MLH ever again. The MLH claims this had nothing to do with the players queerness, but some speculate that they were pushed out by the league. Do you have any comments on these rumors?”
Hayden takes a few seconds, probably looking a bit stupid as he stutters for an answer that wouldn’t get him in trouble, “I think-” he pauses again, “I think that I can’t, um, speak to the experiences of those players or what happened behind the scenes but what I can say is that Shane’s experience after coming out- or being outed… by me- was definitely a battle. It was hard and I can’t imagine everyone was as welcoming as they might want to pretend they were. But there may have been some extenuating circumstances, I guess.” Did that make any sense? How does he answer this without getting fired by the league?
Dana hums a little again. He feels a little judged for that answer. Was it too much of a cop out? He wanted to back track.
“But regardless of everything that went down or what actually happened, I hope those players know that they aren’t alone. You know, they’ve got a whole lot of people in their corner who support them and, you know, will fight for them.”
Dana smiles, “The way that you have shown up for Shane Hollander in the midst of the rampant homophobia within the hockey fanbase has been really comforting for a lot of people. You’ve earned yourself a pretty passionate queer fanbase for how close you and Shane are and how much of an ally you’ve been for the queer community, which is really what encouraged us to reach out for an interview” He has?
He’s starting to get a bit overwhelmed by the thought. “Oh, well, that’s- that’s awesome to know. That really means a lot to me. I didn’t know that but I love my fans and I love gay people and I love Shane so-” What the hell was he saying? “And I know that Shane has been having a good time with all the support. Rozanov in particular has been super happy with the tweets and, uh, fandom stuff.”
“Have you seen a lot of the fandom support for hollanov? If you don't know, hollanov is the ship name for Hollander and Rozanov on twitter and tumblr.”
What the hell is tumblr?
“No, no, I haven't really. I stay off of social media as much as I can.” Within reason, he doesn't say. He mostly just stays off of the side that would mention anything to do with hockey or his friends but you can pry his ASMR tiktoks from his cold, dead hands.
“Well, believe me, there's a pretty popular fanbase for you and Hollander as well. People have been eating up your relationship for as long as I can remember. There's been a lot of fanfiction about the two of you.”
“About us?” He blanches a little.
“Yeah, you know,” Dana pauses, clearly understanding that he doesn't know, “Oh, just people writing stories about the two of you getting together.”
“Oh!” He laughs, “Well, that's kind of cool. I support that whole heartedly.”
“I’m surprised, honestly, most people are uncomfortable with that kind of shipping and relationship speculation.”
“Shane and I are best friends, you know, I can't say I blame the fans for picking up on that or for loving Shane.”
Dana laughs, “That’s good to hear, I wish more people in hypermasculine sports like hockey would have that same sentiment and I hope this queer movement in sports never ends. It’s great to know that you have such a healthy relationship with your sexuality and the LGBT community and I hope that other players follow your lead.”
“You know, I’ve never understood why it's such a problem, to be honest. I think if it's love, it's love, right?” Was that cliche? He doesn't know, so he keeps talking, “I mean, why does anyone care that much about sexuality and stuff. It's so arbitrary. Or, sorry, not that gay stuff is arbitrary or anything.” Gay stuff? Did he sound homophobic? He thinks of something Rozanov says sometimes. “Everyone's a little gay.” Dana laughs again and he feels like he’s going in the right direction so he keeps talking. “Who hasn't thought that they might be bisexual from time to time. It’s totally normal to love men. Hell, I do! Who doesn't appreciate when a guy has a great ass? Shane definitely does.” Hayden realizes he’s forgotten what the question was.
Dana’s laugh trails off and they scrunch their eyebrows as they go quiet. He wonders where he went wrong and then realizes.
“Oh, I mean, obviously, you can’t forget about the lesbians, of course. Gotta love lesbians. Chappell Roan’s been on my workout playlist for years.” He’s bouncing his leg again. “Pink pony club,” he says in a sing-songy voice and sits in the awkward silence that follows.
Dana nods and smiles, “Love that song. Yeah, circling back to what you said about appreciating hot looking guys-”
“Yeah, love ‘em. Gay guys are so right.”
“Right. And, just to be clear, you are… not-”
“Not gay, no.” Hayden says a little too quickly. “Not that- It’s just- I’m happily married to my beautiful wife. I’m just saying that, you know, if I hadn’t already found my soulmate then maybe I would have locked Shane down before Rozanov came along, hehe-um.”
Dana stares at him with the same expression he sees on Jackie’s face sometimes. The one that means he’s not in trouble, but he’s skirting the line.
“Until I found my wife, obviously, then I’d have to leave him for her,” he adds, for clarity. He doesn’t want it to get twisted.
Dana suddenly had a look of realization and gave him a warm smile, “And you’re okay with me sharing this in the article? Everything we’ve talked about today?”
Hayden thought back on it, “Yeah, of course. I mean, as long as I didn’t say anything weird, you know.”
Dana reassured him a little too quickly, “No, no, of course not. Everything you said was great. I can edit it to make it a little more succinct but if you are comfortable with everything you’ve said…”
He didn’t quite understand why they were asking if he was the one who was ready, when they were talking about Shane’s experience but he supposed they don’t want to accidentally spill something that wasn’t ready to be spilled. Not that he said anything damning or too personal.
“Yeah, totally.”
“Okay, so, if you want to share, what has your experience been like with locker room talk and casual homophobia?”
“It’s hard to hear, obviously. You try to shut it down when you can but it gets ugly behind closed doors. Shane and I have talked a lot about how damaging it can be. He’s probably better at explaining it than I am. But, it’s so casual and ingrained in how we talk that it’s hard to put an end to it. It’s gotten better, though, with more players coming out, I hope that trend continues. There’s, um, safety in numbers, I think. Ugly stuff like that thrives off of people thinking they’re alone and people being too scared to say something. The guys who throw around slurs like that in the locker rooms are always the ones who have to act tough on the ice because they know it’s the only thing they have going for them.” He knows he’s gonna get punished for saying that next practice day. “They’re typically more bark than bite.”
Dana asks him a few more questions and then signs off.
He lets out a huge sigh. Jackie pops her head into the home office, “Hey, babe, you done?”
He nods, “Yeah. Thank God.”
“How did it go?”
“Not as bad as I thought it would be. At least I didn’t accidentally out anyone this time.”
A week later, the article drops. The only reason he knows this is because he gets a text from his agent.
Douchebag Agent:
PIKE
CALL ME
ASAP
Then, seconds after that one.
Shane:
Hayd, do you have something you want to tell me?
Then, immediately after that.
Shane's Parasite:
You are trying to steal my husband, Pike?
“Hey, baby,” he hears Jackie come through the front door, “Why is 'Hayden Pike is bisexual' trending on Twitter?”