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10:00pm... It had been the worst night of Whitakers life... The blood, oh God the blood. It would haunt him forever, etched into his skin for the rest of his life, like some sort of grotesque second skin scratching away at his sanity. The sweat that had formed on the back of his neck and down his back began to cool due to the evening air. The now cold sweat caused him to shiver. Goosebumps rippled over his skin Painfully. Whether that was from the cold air, or the fact he's just looked down about 90 meteres with his toes dangling over the edge of a roof... was debatable. "Fuck!" Whitaker hissed to himself, what was he doing!? No, it was reasonable...he couldn't do this. He'd lost three patients tonight, an elderly man yesterday and a little girl, it had only been his first week but it was painful all the same. All this money on med school and housing and food just for him to not be cut out for it? He had no money! What was he was going to do!? and besides all that stuff he was going thro...
"Whitaker!?" A gruff, almost... almost... Panicked voice cut through his daydream. Shit! Shit! Robby, oh shit he was going to see him! No no no he didn't want Robby to see this.
"Fuck!" He hissed again, this time his voice was strained, as he turned his head... There he was, Robby. He was standing firm, like always, his face neutral but the glint beneath his eyes gave him away in the dim light.
"You pulling an Abbot?" Robby said, attempting to make a joke to ease the painfully thick tension that had wrapped itself around them. Whitaker swallowed, looking doubtfully at the ground as he watched people walking around.
"Uh, well... Just, you know? Getting some air" he mumbled back, his voice painfully small.
There was a soft silence for a moment, the only sounds were the soft hum of traffic and the banging of ambulance doors and the rattling of stretchers. The silence stretched for a long while before robbys exhale broke the tension once again.
"Yep... Heard that one before" he hummed, clicking his tongue. With a soft sigh, Robby started walking towards Whitaker with an eased gait, attempting to stay casual as to not spook the other or let his own nervousness push itself through.
Whitaker didn't speak for a long while before sighing "Yeah" he breathed "bet you have." A weak chuckle escapes both men before they're lost again. Robby rubbed the back of his neck, one hand in his pocket fiddling with a pen a slightly nervous habit he seems to have adopted.
"So." He began "you gonna, uh, spare me the paper work and come down? I've got enough health snd safety forms to fill" he said, chuckling awkwardly despite the sad look lingering in his expression. Whitaker turned his head, catching a glimpse of Robby... A strange feeling ripples through him like a shock, starting at his toes and shivering up his spine. A strange guilty feeling. Another agonizingly long three seconds strain by vefore Whitaker takes a gentle step backwards off the ledge, back on to solid ground.
Robby would never admit it, but the tight knot in the centre of his chest immediately unravelled, he felt the air suddenly rush back into his confined lungs.
"Hey! There he is" he said gruffly, the type of gruff that was just automatically him, Robby.
Whitaker offered him a small smile, a genuine one this time, before he felt Robbys large hand clasp him on the shoulder, his thumb just barely brushing over the base of his neck in that spot where the neck and shoulder met. A lump formed in Whitakers throat, but it wasn't a bad kind. A deep kind of heat crept up his neck, dying his skin a soft hue of pink.
"Look can we... " he began, but Robby cut him off immediately.
"Forget about this? Yeah, consider it a bad dream... hey?" He said, offering him a look instead of a smile.
Dennis just nodded, great had never felt so pathetically stupid in his life.
"Hey, look at me." Robby said, tilting his head a fraction to the side
"Nothing to be worried about... Trust me, the amount of people who are drawn to this edge is... Concerning... But common, alright?" He said. When there was no response he pulled Whitaker the smallest inch closer with a gruff noise.
"Are you listening to me?" He said, frowning lightly "look, I'm not pissed or anyth.."
"Sorry!" Whitaker, who had just been a little brain dead from the contact, blurted. No one had ever been that nice to him before... Or touched him like that. Or, well, ever looked at him like that.
"Yeah, sorry I'm listening." He mumbled
Robby hummed, still with his little frown, before he guided them both to the stairwell.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Robbys hand did not let go of Whitakers shoulder the entire walk back through the hospital, it was as if he were steering him through the corridors. when both men appeared into view, Dana looked up at them over the top of her glasses from her nurses station. She smirked to herself before looking down at a chart absent mindedly. As if she weren't really paying attention.
"You found him then?" She spoke, stretching her arms lazily, acting uninterested as if the answer didn't really affect her and she just asked merely out of fashion.
"He wasn't Lost." Robby shot back, his hand still on Whitakers shoulder, tightening an inch. He ignored the way he felt Whitakers pulse spike under his thumb and looked around.
Dana just hummed slowly before turning away, a small smirk on her face. "You seemed pretty worried nonetheless" she said casually, as if the words were empty and had no affect on either one of the men.
"Hmph." Was the the only response from Robby.
Whitaker, however, had currently found himself in a state of mild shock, almost like he had been sedated under the weight of Robbys hand. It was currently the only thing he seemed to be paying any attention to, it were as if Robby had some sort of magic beneath his palm. That or he was just a master at bending Whitaker to his will... Which honestly at the moment didn't feel like an impossible task. What was wrong with him!? This was his boss.
Before he had any more time to dwell on his emotions a voice ruined his parade of thought
"Hey, Whitaker!" Santos called over, immediately removing the fog from Whitakers mind. She was hanging out of the door of trauma room 3, a scalpel in her gloved hands.
"If you're done playing hide and seek with mr miserable I need a set of hands in here alright?" she said, already rushing back in, Her following orders already blending in with the shrill squeal of monitor alarms.
"Right, best get back to it" Whitaker said, looking towards Robby, the disappointment in his voice very thinly veiled with 'confidence'.
Robby, however, was looking slightly disinterested. He seemed particularly focused on some crumbs left on his desk before he looked up again scanning the room.
"Yeah, yeah you go do - oh! For fucks sake" he suddenly exclaimed, already rushing off towards the sound of some commotion.
Whitaker frowned, why had he...
"Hey kid, don't worry about it too much okay?" He heard Dana say. She took her glasses of, laying them on her desk as she crossed her arms
"Robbys having his usual off day, he means nothing by it" she says. Dennis doesn't look st her for a moment
"Hey! No need to watch him, I'll kick his ass for you no problem" she said, before sighing again. A nudge to the shoulder made Whitaker look up again, oh yeah, Dana was talking
"Uh, yeah yeah sounds good" he said, flashing a quick awkward smile her way before swallowing.
"Hm? Kicking Robby's ass sounds good? First time I'm hearing that" she muttered, before smiling again, waving the thought away as quickly as it came
"Santos still needs you"
"Oh crap yeah!"
And with that, he rushed into trauma room 3.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next day was a bit of a blur, 7:00am meant a new round of newbie doctors joined the circle, all babbling with enthusiastic excitement about working in a hospital and earning a name for themselves in the Pitt.
Robby was leaning against Dana's desk, his usual spot. Arms crossed as glasses perched on the end of his nose
"Oh Dana... If only i was 20 again and looking forward to work" he hummed, sipping his painfully bitter coffee which he winced in response to.
Dana hummed in agreement, bustling around with something, setting up her desk
"A man can only dream Robby" she replied "but hey, reality will set in for them sooner or later."
The next few hours had felt strange for Whitaker, he felt like everything was tinted In a soft pink overlay, he felt lighter, like he was made of clouds and fresh air... He felt ready and awake each morning, not awkward half asleep and miserable, which he had grown accustomed to feeling now. Another thing Whitaker couldn't help but notice, was that Robby had been looking particularly good aswell, perhaps it was all the xray radiation, or lack of sleep, but Whitaker had noticed how sparkly Robbys eyes looked when he smiled, or how deep his voices sounded when he made noises...what the hell was going on... It felt like he was wearing rose tinted glasses. But he couldn't help it, he was transfixed completely.
"Right, Dana I need you to book Mr Marlon in for a wound check in two days please" Robby said to her at 10am, walking towards her desk and putting his iPad down on the table, rubbing his face with a gruff sigh.
Dana just smiled a little, already logging Mr Marlon into the system again.
"God it's getting busier every day" Robby muttered darkly, groaning into the darkness of his hands clasped around his face.
Dana hummed in agreement, already looking fed up
"Tell me about it, had a patient yell at me 'what are you doing back there! Ive been waiting since 7am' ... Christ" she shot bitterly
"What in Christ's name do they think were doing back here? Playing go fish? Some jigsaws? A but of origami" She scoffed.
Robby just laughed deeply, leaning on his hand with a sigh.
Dana looked up again, and noticed how Whitaker seemed to be inching closer, eyeing up Robby, like he had been all day. and she smirked.
"Didn't realize you had a new pet Robby" she said softly, chuckling smugly "didn't take you for a puppy lover" she added, turning away from him to put something in the meds trolley with a smug air about her, as if she were congratulating herself for making such a hilarious ground breaking joke
Robby raised an eyebrow, straightening up with a little grunt and a sigh as his back straightened, God he felt like he was getting old.
"What are you talking about?" He huffed, rubbing his face again. He scanned the room, his eyes landing on Whitaker before smiling a bit
"You alright Huckleberry!?" He called, Whitakers nickname sticking easily and rolling from his tongue casually
He lifted his hand in a gesture of greeting, before turning back to Dana, who was now grinning at him shamelessly... And then it dawned.
"Oh, piss off Dana" he grunted, suddenly defensive and quick to snap"eugh... Puppy boy" he huffed weakly, not exactly that mad about the nickname... Oh get ahold of yourself Robby. Fuck sake.
"Are you insane!? Me with a crush on Whitaker!?Jesus Dana... Aren't I his boss and everything?" He snapped defensively, his voice raising a little with faux frustration. veiling his slight excitement? was it?
On the other side of the nurses station, princess and perlah were sitting there, in their usual spots, hiding their giggles behind folders as Robbys colourful words painted the air blue, his words were full of denial, unlike his mind and heart.
"Woah calm it down big R... I never said anything about a crush." Dana said smugly, God she was preening in this reaction "sounds like a guilty consciousness to me" she said lazily with a shrug
At that. Robby went quiet and scowled quietly to himself in his dark Aura of embarrassment. Dana's chuckle echoing...
"Whats up with him?" He heard Langdon ask as he walked past. Before Robby had a chance to snap back he heard Frank correct himself after glancing around the room, already piecing together the clues he got.
"Never mind... It's the Huckleberry situation I gotcha"
"Fuck this" Robby groaned, slamming his hand on the desk before storming off to the lockers.
Once he left, the rest of the nurses but still into giggles
"Think you struck a nerve there Evans" Langdon called
"Thats my sole job here" Dana called back, already moving on to med count.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Throughout the rest of the day Whitaker had noticed how close Dr Abbot, well jack, was with Robby... His brain immediately made him feel hot, agitated... Why was jack just so, effortlessly close... Fist bumps, fake wrestling, pretending flirting... You know, everything a good friend does with another good friend. Whitakers brain, however, did not appreciate this.
Rage immediately imbedded its ugly self into Whitakers heart, and an unmistakable sadness engulfed the entirety of Whitakers soul. Fuck jack. With his decent looks. His stupid jokes. Why does Robby find them so funny anyway? Hasn't Whitaker been spilling his heart enough to Robby, hasn't he made him laugh enough? Hasn't he grovelled enough. How blind was Robby!? He was so angry he barely registered the fact he was following Robby into the lockers corridor. Uncontrollable amounts if unnecessary rage had seeped it's way into Whitakers brain and soul, he felt as though he was on fire, he had absolutely no idea where this anger had come from...there was no wsy this was needed or justified
"ROBBY!" He tuned angrily, approaching him from behind "Hey! Robby! Are you going to acknowledge me!?" He snapped
At the sound of his name being snapped, especially by Whitaker... Who was meeker than a mouse, Robby turned. An unmistakable look of confusion Covering his face
"Whitaker?" He said, looking around as if his mind were playing tricks on him. No way Whitaker, his Whitaker, was yelling
"Woah, hey what is going on?" He said, immediately lifting his hands when his brain finally registered it was in fact Dennis, you know? Meek mouse boy Whitaker.
"Are you sleeping with jack!?"
That one question ripped through the air like an electric charged bullet. Robby went very quiet, his face falling, his entire demeanor changed into something stormy
"I beg your pardon?" He growled
"You heard me!" Whitaker snapped, thouhgh it was weak, he wasn't as confident as he was making himself out to be, he was actually shitting bricks... As well as being slightly turned on, he'd never heard Robby that deep before. It basically shook the floor underneath him. "Are you sleeping with jack Abbot!?"
The question shot out again, slapping Robby against the face.
"What an incredibly inappropriate question to ask me dennis." He growled "how dare you!" He said, his bones filling with the same amount of anger Whitaker had been feeling barely 5 minutes ago, the anger seemed to be running through the ground like a live wire, jumping between each man like it was a competition
"It's perfectly reasonable!" Whitaker fumed, squaring his shoulders, despite it being completely worthless. Robby had like 30lbs extra muscle than Whitaker, he could snap him like a twig. Not that Whitaker was complaining about that
"Youve been giving him the 'please fuck me!' Eyes, sucking up to him all day! You must think I'm completely fucking stupid, Haven't you seen me try and get your attention all week!? Or have you too busy sucking Abbots face off to notice..."
Before he had a chance to 'yell' anymore, Robby grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pinned him (gently...despite his anger, he could never imagine hurting someone, let alone his Whitaker) up against his locker.
"You listen here you little mouse boy" he growled, unexplainably angry for some reason, he could feel the heat of his anger in his bones thrumming through him like a pulse, how dare he think he was dating jack, out of everyone...sure he may have thought about it about 20 years ago but that was a whole different story. "what I do in my own home, regardless it being true or not, is absolutely none of your concern" he growled, pushing away him with a grunt before stepping back
"What gave you that idea in the first place!? And giving me signals all week, what are you, a 14 year old girl!?" He fumed
"Fuck me Whitaker!" He growled, his tension seeping into the air, the anger bleeding through the atmosphere like lighter fluid and lighting Whitakers nerves on fire
Whitaker was trembling at this point.
So infuriated and jealous that he wanted to explode, just explode into a million pieces and make Robby clean up the mess and grovel.
"No! Fuck you Robby! You piece of shit, Ive been trying my hardest to get you to look at me for the past week and half, Abbot walks in with that stupid fucking grin of his! And you're all over him like a bloody leech!" He complained, his hands were getting sweaty, his throat getting choked up, the floor wobbling underneath him like water.
Robby looked absolutely murderous, worse than when he was yelling at Langdon about that benzos incident...
"Get the fuck out of my sight" Robby growled, his voice dark and bouncing off the walls like rolls of thunder
"But!"
"I SAID FUCK OFF DENNIS!" He screamed...
The silence after caused Whitakers ears to ring painfully, before he rushed off
Robby stood there rigidly for s moment, before collapsing against the lockers, holding his face in his hands
"Fucking Whitaker. Stupid son of s bitch Whitaker" he whispered...
The rest of the day had been tense, awkward, the air charged with a sense of dangerous tension, every word had to be thought about before being said, else you got them so thrown straight back in your face.
10pm, shift over, finally, Robby could go home and scream into a pillow or punch something, or someone, anything really st this point
He had had never felt so hurt before he wanted to rip his beard hair out and throw it at Whitaker... Or something, he was just so mad he couldn't think of an appropriate reaction to his anger...
First things first, a smoke on the roof wouldn't hurt.
Robby made his way to the roof, his anger following him like a dark mass on a tether, dragging him down. Swallowing him whole. He shoved the roof door open with a slam and swore into the night air, immediately yelling into the abyss of sky. He grabbed onto his face and worse again
"Stupid fuck!" He yelled, before stopping himself with a deep inhale
He looked over, and saw Whitaker, of fucking course, sitting ok the ground, his knees jo tk his chest, looking as miserable as Robby felt...
The rage that was clawing at the inside of Robbys ribs immediately died a little, he exhaled roughly before sauntering over
"Come here to bitch and moan too huh!?"
He huffed, taking a seat next to Whitaker.
There was a large stretch of silence, before Robby rigged
"I'm getting sick of meeting you up here...its a habit now huh?" Robby tried to joke, but his voice came out rough and hurt.
Again, silence stretched and suffocated them, before Robby sighed
"Look... Whitaker, I'm not sleeping with jack, fuck... I'm not even interested" he admitted gruffly, looking out in front of him.
At this, Whitaker looked up and turned his face towards Robby
"Really?" He mumbled
"Yes Whitaker.. Jack in NOT my type, Christ" he said, but managed a smirk
Whitaker smiled weakly, before also looking in front of him, before sighing sadly, his anger exiting through that one exhale
"Look, I'm sorry... For being such a massive dickwad back there, I have no idea why I yelled" he muttered begrudgingly
Robby chuckled, tapping his knees
"Hey, Ive been called worse... And look, I get it" he sighed "I'm a bit of a blind douche sometimes" he said, looking towards Whitaker.
He sat there silently, watching Whitaker, and then Whitaker turned his face too, their eyes meeting in the silence of the night
"I'm sorry if I made you feel, unimportant... Or ignored, or... Anything other than the great guy you are" Robby said, scratching the back of his neck
"Ah... Well, its alrig..."
"No. Its not." Robby said, placing a hand on top of Whitakers
"I have noticed your advances... And I appreciate them" he admitted softly
And with that, they shuffled closer to one another, their body heat meeting between them, their breath mingling
"I really am sorry Robby" Whitaker mumbled, his next words were cut off by a very small soft kiss to his lips
And then the rest of his words in his brain immediately dissolved when Robby pulled away
"I know... I'm not angry" he replied softly, smiling softly before chuckling
And that was all they had to say, they both just sat there, pressed together... Robbys arm around Whitakers shoulders as they shared the space,
finally alone