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Mizuki should've been asleep by now.
She had an hour before she had to get up for school. She couldn't afford to skip again, she was so close to having to repeat the year and that was arguably worse than going one day without sleep.
After her meeting with Nightcord, she laid down in her bed and got herself comfy. There was just one problem;
no matter how much Mizuki tossed and turned, she just could not fall asleep. At all.
All thanks to a particular brunette artist. That stubborn, kind, talented, very… very pretty artist. Shinonome Ena.
It wasn't like Mizuki was unaware of her feelings for Ena. In fact, she was very much aware, so, so aware it hurt.
She couldn't pinpoint when or where exactly she developed these feelings, though she very much did know when she started recognising them. The day Ena stood firm on the school rooftop and declared she would wait for as long as it took for Mizuki to be able to talk about her secret, Mizuki absolutely could not stop her heart from racing.
She did assume it was nerves at first, but in those fleeting moments of hope that Ena really would stay forever, her body felt almost... light and her heart fluttered in a way she hadn't felt before. The very idea that she and Ena could just be together forever filled her with so much warmth. She'd read enough romance manga to know what that meant. (And maybe she also did the thing you do with flowers where you pick petals and say “they love me/they love me not” until you get to the last one to see if they really love you. And maybe when Mizuki did it the last petal was a “She loves me”)
It wasn't like Mizuki had never dated. She and Rui were in a relationship during middle school - Well, if you could even call it a relationship. It was more like they were both just really lonely and didn't know what to do with a platonic friendship.
It was just something about Ena. Well, everything about Ena really. She was so sweet, so considerate and patient, so unbelievably and effortlessly gorgeous. Her short brown hair was smooth and silky, her small hair braid done neatly and secured with an equally small ribbon. Her fashion taste was immaculate. Even on days when Ena didn't have the energy to dress up, or days when Ena had stayed up all night painting, her hair a mess and her pyjamas stained with acrylics; Mizuki just couldn't help but think how beautiful her best friend was.
Above all though? She was impulsive in a way that worked so well for her. Even when she would act annoyed at Mizuki's teasing, something in her voice screamed ‘I wouldn't have it any other way’.
Mizuki really should've been asleep by now.
~
Mizuki sat at her desk, chin resting in her hand to prevent herself from falling asleep right there. She knew she should've slept instead of thinking about Ena all night, but what could she do now other than just make it through the day?
Toya had asked her earlier if she was okay after he noticed how tired she looked, but Mizuki played it off and said she’d just been up too late watching anime. There was no way she was going to tell him she was actually up all night just thinking about the girl she has the fattest crush on ever. Especially when said girl is his partner’s sister? Absolutely not! That was a conversation for when Mizuki wasn’t crazy sleep deprived and would not absolutely go on a 2 hour minimum rant about Ena and how amazing she is.
It wasn’t that Toya wouldn’t listen to her or brush her off. He’d probably listen intently and encourage her to ask Ena out. She just didn’t fully trust he wouldn’t go and tell Akito. Though in his defence, if Toya told Mizuki he had a crush on Akito, she’d probably go and run her mouth to Ena immediately, so she couldn’t really blame him if he did.
School wasn’t anything special. Well, Mizuki wouldn’t have known even if it was. She was too busy trying not to doze off every 5 minutes, especially during her after-school supplementary classes where she was completely alone. It was fine, she was going to head home, curl up in bed, nap for a bit before Nightcord’s scheduled meeting and then everything would be bright and dandy again!
Walking down Kamiyama street, Mizuki was scrolling on her phone, checking random social media feeds she didn’t care much for. She still couldn’t believe Ena deleted her selfie account! Mizuki really was happy that Ena was healing and moving on from that unhealthy coping mechanism, but she also really did miss just being able to see an adorable selfie of Ena nearly every day. She missed being able to take in Ena’s beautiful features without seeming like a weirdo for staring. She missed the selfies where Ena would angle the camera and stare into it with her gorgeous brown doe eyes, her short brown locks framing her face perfectly like they always did. She missed seeing whatever cute pose Ena would strike, whether she’d do a peace sign with her pointer and middle finger, or maybe make a half-heart with her hand and hold it to her cheek while pouting. Sometimes she even missed the filters that Ena always used, even though Mizuki didn’t think she needed them at all. (She wouldn’t admit it, but she did adore the selfies where Ena used animal filters.)
“Mizuki?”
Mizuki looked up from her phone screen, snapped out of her mini Ena-induced trance, her gaze headed for the source of the sound, only for her eyes to meet familiar brown ones, the brown eyes she was just daydreaming about. Ena stood but a few feet away, only walking closer with every second she and Mizuki made eye contact. She had a soft smile on her face, one that Mizuki had been seeing a lot more recently. Not that she was complaining, obviously. She loved Ena’s smile more than anything, but she very much did notice.
Mizuki’s face flushed a light red, her throat constricting slightly, “E-Ena,” she choked out. “I uh, didn’t expect to see you here!”
Ena stopped walking when she was within a comfortable distance of Mizuki, “Well yeah, my classes start soon. I need to get to school? I’m more questioning why you’re here. Day classes ended hours ago.”
Mizuki let out her signature giggle, waving her hand up and down, “Ahaha! Silly Enanan~ did you forget I had after-school supplementary classes this week?”
Ena sighed fondly, her smile only dissipating for a second, “Guess I did. Are you headed home now?” she asked, her right hand grasping the strap of her bag that sat on her shoulder. Mizuki watched. Ena’s grip wasn’t tight, but not loose. Average. She wondered what it would feel like if Ena held her hand. She’d held it before. Quite tightly, Mizuki remembers. Though that was reasonable given the circumstances at the time, that was weeks ago by now. Mizuki kind of missed it. (She’d been missing it since the moment Ena stopped holding it last, but that wasn’t the point)
Mizuki nodded, “Yep! Hopefully I’ll take a nice nap too, I’m beat.” As if on cue, she yawned right after she finished her sentence, covering her mouth with her hand.
“Nap? Didn’t you leave our meeting early last night so you could get extra sleep?” Ena prodded, raising a brow and poking Mizuki’s shoulder.
“Aha~ about that… I got distracted and ended up pulling an accidental all nighter.”
“What? Mizuki! You’d better not oversleep and miss tonight’s meeting then!” Ena scolded, though Mizuki swore she heard a hint of concern underlying in her tone.
“I won’t! I’ll set an alarm so that I don’t oversleep. I actually wake up to alarms after all, unlike Ena.” Mizuki teased, watching how Ena’s face contorted into annoyance, the expression Mizuki was familiar with.
Ena gasped in offence, “I can wake up to alarms if I want! I just make Akito wake me up because it’s more likely I’ll actually get up. Whatever, I need to go. I’ll see you on Nightcord tonight, okay?”
Mizuki nodded, waving goodbye as she and Ena began walking their separate ways, “Bye-bye~! I’ll see you at 25:00!” Ena waved back, and like that she was gone.
Mizuki felt giddy. So, so giddy, that she couldn’t stop giggling and blushing the whole way home. Even when she got home, in her room and on her bed, she was still grinning goofily as sleep overtook her. She set her alarm for an hour 25:00, and fell asleep. She didn’t care that she was still in her school uniform, that was an issue for when she woke up.
~
25:00 came, and Mizuki was awake and ready to start working! She’d woken up, grabbed an easy meal for a (very late) dinner, finally changed out of her uniform and logged onto Nightcord where Kanade and Mafuyu were already waiting for her and Ena.
Once Ena joined, the group got to work, Kanade and Mafuyu muted themselves so they could work efficiently, while Mizuki and Ena both stayed un-muted to have small conversations between work. It was a standard meeting. They’d all already heard Kanade’s demo the previous night, Mafuyu sent a short draft of lyrics within the first 20 minutes which was approved by everybody, giving Ena primal time to start her sketch so that Mizuki could also begin work. Once that was sent over, Mizuki got to work.
The meeting went smoothly, Kanade and Mafuyu logged off first, leaving just Mizuki and Ena.
All throughout her time working, Mizuki couldn’t shake this tugging feeling in her heart. All throughout her conversations with Ena, Mizuki felt herself craving Ena more and more. She couldn’t help it. She wanted Ena so bad. She wanted to be with Ena, to hold Ena and to be held by Ena. She wanted to drown in the artist until they were one. She needed to tell Ena before her heart simply just exploded!
<“Amia?”> a voice came in through her headphones. <”You just went really quiet. Is everything alright?”>
Mizuki’s voice hitched in her throat. She needed to tell Ena. You wouldn’t tell somebody this over VC though, would you? She didn’t really know, but why would you do that when you could go and see them within a matter of minutes?
“Ah- uhm- yeah—yeah I’m okay. Could we— could we talk? In SEKAI, maybe?”
Ena agreed, <”Oh? I’m kind of scared now, but yeah, of course we can talk.”>
“No-no, don’t be scared! It’s not bad… I think?” Mizuki mumbled the last part, feeling her face heat up. There’s no way she was about to do this, right?
<”Okay, good. I’ll see you there, then.”> Like that, Ena had disconnected from the call. Panicked, Mizuki also hastily disconnected and opened up ‘Composing the Future’ on her phone, pressing play.
The moment the endless gray landscape formed in front of Mizuki’s eyes, she began to look around for Ena. If she was going to do this, she’d better do it before she backs out.
The pair quickly found each other, Ena’s face was covered in what one could only describe as worry, which was fair. Things didn’t go great the last time Mizuki had ‘something’ to tell her. No, it wasn’t fair on Mizuki for Ena to assume that. Mizuki swore she’d try her best, so now Ena also had to try her best to have faith in her.
“Mizuki, is everything okay?” Ena asked, reaching out to take hold of Mizuki’s hand.
Mizuki flushed, Ena’s skin was so soft. Her hold was so gentle, Mizuki felt her skin tingle every time Ena’s thumb periodically stroked the back of her hand in a soothing gesture. Mizuki hoped Ena didn’t notice how clammy her hands were compared to hers.
“Yeah… everything’s uhm- everything’s fine. I promise. I just need to say this now before I chicken out and never say it.”
Ena nodded in understanding, “Okay. Do you need to sit down first? You look really anxious…”
“No! Uh- no. I’m fine.” Mizuki lowered her voice, she really needed to calm down and just say it. “Ena, I-” Oh god, she was about to do it. Was it too late to back out? Too late for her to take it back and say something else? It was absolutely too late, the words were already spilling out of her mouth before she could think to stop herself anyways; “You’re one of my best friends. You’ve always been there for me and you’ve always been supportive. You stick with me through everything and even though I don’t know why, I can’t help but appreciate it with my whole heart. Even when I annoy you or make you sad, you just stay and I don’t think I know enough words to describe how much I genuinely care about you and feel like I need you in my life. I don’t know if I can say the exact words, but I think you know what I mean, right?”
Ena’s eyes widened for a fleeting moment, before they softened again and her own cheeks turned red. Mizuki wondered if Ena’s face was redder than her own. Ena sighed fondly, stepping closer to Mizuki and cupping the girl’s cheek with her unoccupied hand, the other one still holding Mizuki’s. “I think I do know.” She smiled, leaning up (yes, on her tippie toes) to give Mizuki a small peck on the cheek. “Thank you, for being so honest with me. It’s a relief to know you feel the same way, Mizuki.”
“Ah…” Mizuki gasped quietly, tears brimmed in her eyes, a few slowly falling down her cheeks. “Yeah. Uhm- of course.”
Ena didn’t panic over the tears, instead gently wiping them with her thumb, still looking up at Mizuki with adoration. “Don’t cry, silly. It’s okay. I love you.”
Mizuki’s throat constricted and her eyes squeezed closed. She couldn’t say those words as easily as Ena could, and it hurt her, because she wanted to, so much. “I wish I could say that out loud too. But I’m still scared, Ena. I’m still so scared and I hate it. I’m scared to be vulnerable with you and I wish I wasn’t.” She cried more.
“Mizuki,” she opened her eyes, only to see Ena’s expression hadn’t changed in the slightest; “it’s really okay. I know you want to say it, but you don’t have to say it until you’re ready. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, okay? I will wait forever for you.”
Mizuki nodded, sniffling as she began to giggle. She couldn’t believe she was so scared. Ena laughed alongside her, kissing her on the cheek again.
Maybe it would take Mizuki a few days to say it, maybe a few weeks, maybe months. Neither of them knew. It was okay though, because Mizuki knew so well in her heart that Ena really would wait forever. She did it once, and she would do it a million times over. It was okay. As long as they had each other.