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Yelena gazed around Kate’s apartment as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She had only just gotten out of bed, but Kate had been hurrying around getting ready for work for the past thirty minutes.
“Okay, I’m finally going,” Kate announced as she came down the stairs. Yelena sipped her coffee with an amused smile.
“Kate, I told you to set more than one alarm,” she said, watching as her girlfriend frantically patted her pockets for her phone. “You know you hate getting up early.”
“Yeah, I know, you’re right. I should’ve.”
“You really should listen to me more.”
“Yes, I should.”
“But you’re not going to, are you?”
“No. Probably not.”
Yelena shook her head and grinned at her.
“Okay, I’ll see you tonight,” Kate smiled, squeezing Yelena’s hand as she kissed her goodbye. Then she finally headed toward the door.
“Have a good day,” Yelena called.
“You too, baby. I love you, bye!”
Yelena nearly spat out her coffee. She stared at the spot where Kate had been for what felt like hours, not entirely sure she’d actually heard what she’d heard. It wasn’t like Kate to just take off after saying something like that, but her voice echoed in Yelena’s head. She absolutely heard her correctly.
Kate said she loved her.
For the very first time.
And then she just left!!!
Yelena’s head was spinning. How was she supposed to respond to this situation? She’d been expecting Kate to make a big deal out of saying it for the first time, had been hoping for it even. But even if she thought she would say it casually, she never imagined she would just leave. Yelena wasn’t great at understanding social cues at the best of times, but she was certain that had to be a bad thing.
The dogs barking at her for their morning walk finally broke her out of her trance, but Kate’s words played in her head the whole time she was getting dressed and walking them through the busy Manhattan streets. She must’ve bumped into a hundred people by the time they made it back to Kate’s apartment, but it didn’t occur to her to care. She considered asking her friends for advice, but she decided against it as soon as she opened the group chat. She knew exactly what they would say; Bob and Ava would say they know less about relationships than she does, Bucky would tell her that Sam had never done that to him, and it had been a hundred years since he’d been with anyone else, John would give her some well-meaning advice laced with self-loathing that would make her feel even worse, and Alexei would tell some wildly irrelevant story about her mother that she really didn’t want to hear. So, she sat on the couch, clenching and unclenching her fists as she stared unseeing at the wall.
“Why would she do that?” she whispered aloud, trying hard to fight back tears. The voice in the back of her head was telling her incessantly that Kate had left because she’d regretted saying it, and even though she knew how unlikely that was, she couldn’t think of another explanation. She had to talk to her, she decided. Waiting in this uncertainty was torture, a kind that she hadn’t been trained to endure. But Kate was still at work, and whatever reaction she was going to have when Yelena confronted her, she would undoubtedly be angry if she interrupted her important meeting for this. No relationship issue was worth that, right? And what if it wasn’t even an issue at all? What if that was actually a completely normal thing to do, and Yelena was the weird one for getting so confused and upset? It wouldn’t be the first time she’d misunderstood something innocuous. But if that were the case, then Kate would want to comfort her. And despite how terrified she was of what she would say, all Yelena wanted right now was to be in Kate’s arms.
So she waited until Kate’s meeting was over, pacing aimlessly around Kate’s apartment for what felt like eternity. She didn’t even realize she was muttering to herself as she psyched herself up and tried to convince herself that Kate wasn’t going to break up with her when she got there. The dogs were staring at her, whining anxiously, but she ignored them. Even when she was under mind control, she’d never been so trapped in her own head. But eventually, the alarm she’d set for the end of Kate’s meeting went off, and she hightailed it to Bishop Security faster than she ever had before.
“Ah, Miss Belova! Are you here to see Kate?” Dee asked her as she approached the front desk.
“Uh, yeah. Yes. Yes, I need to see her.” Yelena didn’t look her in the eye.
“Perfect timing, she just got out of her meeting. She should be in her office. I’ll let her know you’re on your way.”
Yelena couldn’t remember if she’d thanked her. The walk to Kate’s office door was a blur; she was hardly aware of anything besides the lump in her throat, her heartbeat pounding in her ears, and the uncontrollable tremor of her hands.
“Kate?” she called timidly as she poked her head into the office. She pushed the door open wider when she heard no response and found the room abandoned. The desk chair was shoved carelessly to the side, as if Kate had gotten up from it in a hurry. So she forced the intrusive thoughts out of her head with a deep breath and headed back out into the hallway to search for her.
It didn’t take long for her to be reminded of what a maze that place was. She hadn’t been anywhere in the building besides Kate’s office since she crashed her mother’s Christmas party, and it had seemed much easier to navigate back then. She tried her best to focus on that and all her other happy memories with Kate as she roamed the halls. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all of this, she told herself, repeating the words in her head like a mantra. Maybe Kate had just gone to the bathroom. Avoiding uncomfortable situations was Yelena’s thing, not hers. It probably wasn’t even uncomfortable for Kate, and she’d laugh at her good-naturedly when she told her how panicked she’d been. Then she’d hug her and kiss the top of her head and say it again, and Yelena would get to say it back this time, and everything would be okay again.
After a few minutes of searching, she finally found her. She rounded a corner into the hallway of conference rooms and saw her standing there, just a few feet away. “Kate!” she exclaimed, her voice stopping her in her tracks. She turned to her slowly, meeting her eyes for just a second, before she bolted in the other direction. Kate was actually running away from her, and it felt like an arrow piercing her heart.
After a moment of being frozen in shock, Yelena chased after her. Everything had seemed so normal when they woke up this morning, and now Kate was acting more strangely than she’d ever seen her. She needed to get an explanation; she deserved one. No matter how painful it was.
But as fast as she was, Kate was faster, her long legs carrying her around the office building as if she were a track star in training. So Yelena did the only thing she could think to do. She shot a wire out of the tactical wristband she’d put on out of habit and tied Kate up.
Kate cried out as the wire wrapped around her, and Yelena pulled it taut so she wouldn’t fall over. She heard her sigh as she approached, barely breathing herself, and then she finally turned to face her.
“Hey, baby,” Kate said nervously, giving her a little wave as best she could.
“What is going on?” She wanted to sound angry and intimidating, to remind Kate that she wasn’t someone to be crossed, but it came out as a sad, desperate croak. “You told me you loved me, and then you just left. And I came here to talk to you about it, and now you’re running away from me? I-I don’t understand. Why would you do that?”
“I’m so sorry, Lena,” she said earnestly. She looked like her heart was breaking, too. “I never meant to upset you, I swear! It was an accident, it just slipped out when I was leaving. And then I was afraid that it would freak you out or scare you off, so I thought I’d just pretend it never happened and hope you didn’t hear me. But then Dee said you were coming up, and I left my office to buy some time to think of what to say. Then I saw you, and I just… I have no idea what I was thinking. I am so, so, so sorry.”
“So… you didn’t mean it?” Yelena asked quietly, her bottom lip quivering. Kate’s eyes widened in fear.
“What? No! I-I mean, yes! I mean… I did mean it. I just didn’t mean to say it when I did. I wanted to save it for a more romantic time, like tonight at dinner, or tomorrow morning when we’re cuddling in bed, because I don’t have to wake up early tomorrow. But of course I meant it.”
Yelena heaved a sigh of relief, her eyes brimming with tears as a weight lifted off her chest. Then she laughed. “I should’ve expected that. Of all the horrible scenarios I was imagining, of course, you being an idiot makes the most sense.”
“Yeah, I deserve that,” Kate chuckled, smiling in a way that said she didn’t know if she was allowed to smile. “Now, will you please untie me so I can hug you?”
“Oh, right. Of course.” She pressed the button on her wristband, and the wire went slack. Kate immediately threw it to the floor and pulled her into a hug, her arms wrapping around her tightly as her body enveloped her. Yelena sank into her, burying her face in her chest. Kate began pressing soft kisses to the top of her head, and she beamed.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you or scare you.”
“It’s okay,” Yelena murmured.
“Can I try again?” Kate asked softly. Yelena nodded. “I love you, Yelena Belova.”
“I love you too, Kate.” She gazed up at her, and Kate stroked her cheek gently before pulling her into a kiss. Kate had never been so tender, her movements languid as she explored every little shape she could get Yelena’s mouth to make. And they could’ve stayed like that for hours, if it weren’t for the throng of people in suits that began spilling out of the conference room to their right.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Kate said coolly, nodding to the people who had stopped to stare at them. Yelena hid her face in her chest.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, not quite sure if she was apologizing to them or to Kate.
“Don’t apologize. Why would I be embarrassed about being seen kissing the woman I love?”
Yelena knew she usually would’ve had some snarky comeback to that, but right now, she couldn’t do anything but smile up at her. All she could think about was how overwhelmingly happy she was. It might not be how she thought it would go, but her wildest dream had come true. Kate loved her.
“Do you want to go get lunch?” Kate asked, kissing her forehead.
“Yeah, I’m starving. I was so freaked out, I forgot to eat breakfast.”
“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I feel awful.”
“You don’t have to. I mean, I am going to guilt-trip you about this for at least a week, but I forgive you.”
“That’s fair,” Kate grinned. “Come on, let’s eat. We’ll go wherever you want to go, baby.”
“You’re letting me pick the restaurant? Now I know you feel bad,” Yelena joked. Kate just rolled her eyes and smiled at her.
“Hold all my calls, Dee!” Kate exclaimed as they passed the front desk a few minutes later. “I’m taking the rest of the day off!”
“Wait a minute, hold on. Kate! You can’t do that!”
“I’m the CEO, Dee, I can do whatever I want!”
“You’re taking the day off?” Yelena whispered.
“Absolutely,” she smiled, throwing her arm around Yelena’s shoulders. “I’m yours, baby. And all I want to do is spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you.”
And as she pulled her into another kiss, Yelena knew that no matter how tough that morning was, it had been worth it. She was never going to feel that insecure again; her Kate had made sure of it.