Work Text:
The first time it happened, it was so quick, it might as well have been an accident.
It was movie night at Erica's, and there was a heavy weight on Derek's shoulder, a soft snoring in his ear. He didn't need to look to know Stiles was fast asleep on him, had been for several minutes now.
Stiles had been yawning from the moment Derek walked into Erica' apartment, arms full of the extra snacks she had made him buy on the way over. Because apparently they didn't have enough already, despite the whole living room table being full of bowls and plates with them. Erica went all out to impress everyone though, had been stressing about it for weeks before, so Derek hadn't thought twice before he'd said he'd do it.
The movie had started and not ten minutes after, Stiles was fast asleep on his shoulder.
Had it happened a few years ago, Derek would have shoved him off with an annoyed grunt and told him to not drool on him. But now – after everything they had been through together, and after they stopped pining and started dating – he just smiled fondly for a second and let him stay there.
Derek tried to pay attention to the movie playing. It was some action movie that the whole pack had spend days agreeing on, but he couldn't remember the name of it, nor could he be bothered paying much attention to it.
Because Stiles was making soft noises to his immediate right and rubbing his cheek against his shoulder, cuddling into his side like Derek was the pillow Stiles always slept with.
There was some wild explosion on the screen, when Derek finally tore his eyes off of it and turned his attention fully to Stiles instead, the fond smile slowly forming on his lips again. Stiles' face was slack, relaxed. His mouth hang open slightly, and his eyes moved slightly behind his eyelids.
Derek watched him for a moment, before he leaned over and placed a soft kiss to Stiles' forehead. He was quick to lean back though, because even though they were together and everyone in the room knew, he wasn't all that comfortable with public displays of affection.
Or hell, he wasn't all that comfortable with any displays of affection.
Sure, they kissed, had sex, cuddled, all the things most couples did. But Derek wasn't good at showing just how much he loved Stiles. It made him nervous, because it made him too vulnerable, too easy to hurt.
He did though. Love him, that is. He just hadn't said it, but neither had Stiles.
[ x ]
The second time it happened, it was a lot less quick and a lot less careful. Because the second time it happened, it was just the two of them.
Stiles was asleep again, starfished out on Derek's bed, mouth hanging open and a soft snore filling the otherwise quiet loft. He had come over, kissed Derek in greeting, and then thrown himself on the bed and passed out seconds later, mumbling something incoherently that Derek guessed was supposed to be an explanation. It was nothing but gibberish though, and Derek had shook his head and smiled fondly, before returning to his reading.
Derek only managed to read a few more pages, barely paying attention to the words his eyes scanned over, before his eyes wandered back over across the room. Over to the bed and over to Stiles softly snoring.
And still wearing shoes.
Rolling his eyes, Derek put his book down and got up from the couch to walk over to the bed. As carefully as he could possibly manage, he slid the shoes off of Stiles, huffing at him when Stiles grunted in his sleep and made a jerky movement with his feet. He stopped fighting after that though, and Derek managed to get his shoes off his feet and onto the floor.
Derek didn't move back to the couch and continue his reading afterwards. Instead, he climbed onto the bed and made himself comfortable next to Stiles, facing him and watching his boyfriend sleep.
Derek had always found Stiles beautiful. Gorgeous, handsome, pretty, cute, all of it. From the first time he saw him out in the woods all those years ago and now. Years later when their relationship was so much different and so much better.
Stiles was beautiful, and Derek could watch him for hours and not get bored.
Slowly, he lifted a hand and lightly brushing the tips of his fingers against Stiles' cheek, fingers running along the moles leading down to his neck. His eyes followed the movement of his fingers as they moved downward, lightly and gently tracing the beauty marks on his boyfriend's pale skin.
His fingers moved upwards shortly after, brushing along Stiles' almost freshly shaven jaw to his chin. His thumb ghosted over those pink and slightly parted lips, not touching but almost. It was only when Stiles moved and rubbed his face against the pillow, shifting slightly where he lay, that Derek pulled his hand back and away.
A moment later, he moved closer and wrapped his arms around Stiles to pull him in close. Stiles made a soft noise in his sleep and happily snuggled into him, mumbling something incoherently in his sleep.
Derek watched him for another moment, fingers gently carding through Stiles' hair, before he let himself fall asleep too, with Stiles snuggled close to him.
[ x ]
It kept happening. Showing his affections for Stiles was just a whole lot easier to do, when Stiles was asleep and no one was watching, Derek found out.
It wasn't that he wasn't affectionate when Stiles was awake, oh no. He made sure to kiss him, hold his hand, wrap his arm around him, give him the rest of his food when he couldn't eat it or just share it, wrap his foot around his ankle under the table when they went out, all of that. He made sure to do it when Stiles was aware of it, because Derek was trying really, really hard to make this relationship work.
Because a life without Stiles by his side was a life he didn't want.
But the kind of affection he showed Stiles when Stiles was asleep was the kind of affection that was just too intimate for anyone to know about. That was what he told himself over and over again, when he had to remind himself that it wasn't creepy or weird.
Even though sometimes it felt like it. Those times were the times where he had to force himself to stop and step away, despite the desire to keep showering Stiles in affections.
Not that he would know about it anyway.
Derek lost track of how long he had been doing it pretty quickly. It was around the same time he stopped trying to make himself quit doing it, that he lost track. It could have been weeks, could have been months. It didn't matter. Derek didn't stop.
[ x ]
Stiles yawned loudly and stretched across the couch, his legs stretching over Derek's lap and his foot knocking the book out of his hands.
“Seriously?” Derek turned to look at him, quirking a brow at him and gesturing to the book now closed and on the floor.
“What?” Stiles asked around another, smaller, yawn as he scratched his stomach and stayed stretched out across the couch, taking up most of the space, including Derek's lap. “I'm tired.”
“So you kick my book out of my hands.” With a roll of his eyes, Derek shoved Stiles' legs out of his lap and got up, trying very hard not to smile when Stiles laughed lightly behind him. He bend down to pick up the book and swatted Stiles' foot away from his ass, sending him a halfhearted glare over his shoulder.
“Stop being annoying,” he said, catching Stiles' foot by the ankle before he could kick him again, “and take a nap if you're so tired.”
“What about dinner though?” Stiles wiggled his foot out of Derek's hold and shifted on the couch, scooting further down to lay more comfortably. “I thought we were gonna make it together. Be all couple-y and stuff.”
Walking closer, Derek bend down just slightly, hovering over Stiles. “We can do that another time,” he said, his voice lowered to a near whisper. “Get some sleep.” He leaned down and closed the distance between them, offering Stiles' lips a soft and quick kiss.
Stiles hummed into it, and a warm smile formed on his lips after Derek pulled back. “Mm, 'kay.” He shifted once more, turned to lay on his side. “Wake me if you need help.” Using his arm as a pillow, he closed his eyes. “Unless I'm in a great dream, in which case leave me the hell alone.”
Derek huffed a quick laugh and rolled his eyes, before he walked over to the desk he used as a workplace. Work meaning writing. He hadn't gotten much done, but at least he had started. And all because Stiles had decided to push him to do it, which Derek could really only be grateful for.
He sat down, opened his book, and flipped the pages to the one he had been interrupted on.
Only – and he really should have seen this coming – he wasn't able to read much more than a few pages, before his eyes wandered back over to Stiles on the couch. It had only been a couple of minutes, but he knew Stiles could fall asleep in seconds. Plus, it looked like he was breathing deeply and his entire body was relaxed, so Derek just assumed he was asleep.
As quietly as he could manage on bare feet, he walked back over to the couch and crouched down in front of Stiles. He watched him for a while, just watched. Took in the way Stiles' lips were slightly parted like they always were when he was sleeping. Took in the way his brows were slightly furrowed, which didn't happen as often but it did occasionally. He took in the way those long lashes fanned across Stiles' cheekbones.
Slowly, Derek lifted a hand and lightly brushed the tips of his fingers across those cheekbones and down along his face, gently tracing his features. His thumb only just brushed against Stiles' pink lips, when those same lips twitched and pulled back in a soft smile.
And Derek stilled, froze in place, his heart suddenly in his throat.
“You're awake,” he stated in a flat tone.
Stiles' eyes were still closed but the smile widened, and Derek quickly pulled his hand back. “Mhm. Been the last couple of times you did that too. 's cute.”
Derek couldn't breathe. He couldn't think either. Stiffly, he stood up and turned around, taking one or two steps away from the couch and Stiles.
Stiles was making fun of him, thought he was ridiculous. He had to be. Right? Why else would he pretend to be asleep while Derek did those things to him?
Derek's mind went from dead quiet to running a mile a minute, and he couldn't breathe.
“Derek?”
Having been briefly brought out of his mildly panicking thoughts, Derek glanced over his shoulder and saw Stiles slowly sit up, brows furrowed and worry seeping out of him.
“What's wrong?” Stiles asked, now standing up.
Derek swallowed thickly, his throat dry, but he turned around and hid the panic under a hard facade. “Are you making fun of me?”
“What?” The word stumbled out of Stiles' mouth in a humorless chuckle, and Stiles' brows furrowed more, while those brown eyes flickered over Derek's face. And Derek stiffened, clenching his jaw. “Derek, why would you think I'm making fun of you?”
Derek swallowed thickly, hoped Stiles didn't notice. “Why else would you pretend to be asleep?”
“Because you only do that when I'm asleep,” Stiles answered, although it sounded more like a question, and he even looked confused. “Come on, Derek, you can't seriously be mad at me for that. How else was I supposed to get that kind of affection? It's, y'know,” he shrugged, near embarrassment replacing his previous confusion, “it's kinda nice, actually.”
Derek's face fell slightly, his shoulders losing the tension they had held. “Oh,” he breathed, now feeling more guilty than anything.
“Yeah, oh.” Stiles stepped closer, a slight smile on his lips. “Did you really think I'd have a problem with my own boyfriend touching me like that?”
Derek answered by shrugging and lowered his gaze to the ground. Stiles wasn't having that and quickly moved a hand under his chin, making him look back up at him. And when he did, Derek saw the look on Stiles' face. Like he understood.
“Hey,” Stiles said, making sure Derek was looking back at him before he continued. “I don't have a problem with it. In fact, I really like it. I know you're not all that comfortable with showing affection and all that, so I got kinda really surprised when I found out you did it when I was sleeping. Little weird,” Derek bowed his head at the comment, but Stiles made him look back at up, “but you're weird and...”
Stiles stopped, looking nervous all of the sudden. He swallowed before continuing, his voice lowered and his hand moving from Derek's chin to his cheek. “And I love you.”
Derek froze, but this time it was for a completely different reason.
“So just...” Stiles paused, his cheeks pink now but his eyes still locked with Derek's. “Don't think I'm gonna have a problem with however you show your affections, I don't care. Well, I do care 'cause it's you and I'm always gonna care about you and how you do stuff.” He cut himself off with a huff, and Derek felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips.
Stiles' frustrated rambles were often the most amusing ones. And the cutest.
“What I mean is,” Stiles continued, taking in a deep breath as his cheeks reddened even more. “I love you and you can show your affections however you want to. Even if that means not at all, that's okay too!” He dropped his hand from Derek's cheek and spread his arms, his shoulders lifting slightly. “Whatever works for you, I'm cool with it. 'Cause, y'know, it's you and-”
“Stiles,” Derek interrupted softly, taking a step closer to him.
Stiles immediately stopped talking and before he could start again, Derek gently cupped his face and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was firm, full of emotions and love and affection, and Derek heard Stiles moan softly as he leaned into it.
The kiss was short lived though.
Derek leaned back just enough to separate their lips and rested his forehead against Stiles'. “I love you too,” he managed to choke out, the words feeling odd on his tongue but good to say.
The smile that spread across Stiles' lips was blinding, and he threw his arms around Derek's neck, throwing himself at him as he kissed him again. And again and again and again, over and over until Derek had to push him back to laugh.
“Nooo,” Stiles whined and tried to lean back in, only to get Derek's hand in his face, Derek busy chuckling. “Let me kiss you, damn it!”
Derek only pushed Stiles away for another short while, before he grabbed the front of his shirt and brought him in for the kisses he so desperately wanted. And the kisses Derek so desperately wanted too.
With time, Derek would learn how to show his affections when Stiles was awake as well, but for now, this was fine. This was good.