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"Car's all packed up," Eddie announces as he rolls back into the house where Buck is putting a few more water bottles into the cooler.
"I think that's everything, then," Buck says, turning his big pretty smile on Eddie, stopping his heart for just that one second.
"Well, Big Bear awaits!" Eddie says, trying to grab the cooler from Buck.
"I got it," Buck snorts. "Let's go."
And yeah, Eddie's nervous. Chris is at a sleepaway camp in the total opposite direction of Big Bear, and now he's putting more distance between himself and his kid. After the Texas debacle, he swore he'd never be away from him again, though he knew it was unrealistic. He's growing up—he's going to be an adult and have a life—so Buck had convinced him that a road trip was in order.
Not that Big Bear is that much of a road trip. It's really only a couple of hours away. But they've packed like it's a 10-hour trek. Still, they're going to be up at a cabin for four days, so some of the supplies are for that too.
They're taking the Jeep—just makes sense over Eddie's dumb Prius when they're going to on steep mountain roads—so Buck climbs up into the driver's seat and lets Eddie take shotgun.
Out of instinct, Eddie reaches to start putting his music on, but Buck slaps his hand away from the stereo. Eddie wants to give him a crazy face, but Buck isn't even looking at him when he speaks and starts to back out of the Diaz driveway.
"'Driver picks the music, and shotgun shuts his cakehole,'" he says it in a cadence that indicates it's from something but Eddie doesn't recognize it.
Eddie drops his hand and rolls his eyes, sighing.
"I made us a road trip playlist," Buck admits. "It's almost ten hours long."
"Buck!" Eddie barks out on a laugh. "This trip is only four hour round trip, man. We don't need that much music."
"Yeah, well," Buck sniffs, "you never know! Plus it's really good and I couldn't settle on stuff so I'm just going to put it on shuffle and it'll be great!"
Eddie doesn't doubt this. Before he met Buck, their taste in music diverged greatly. But after almost a decade of friendship, their tastes in music have grown together like two trees whose roots are inextricably linked. So, as they get onto the freeway and it's been banger after banger, Eddie is grateful that not only did Buck talk him into the trip but also spent the time curating a playlist just for them.
…
Eddie is, decidedly, not glad that Buck talked him into this road trip after the second hour of near stand-still traffic on the 10 somewhere near Pomona.
Eddie can feel himself getting huffy and squirmy. He also definitely has to pee. There's most definitely some kind of MVC somewhere ahead of them and his hands are starting to itch with the desire to get the jaws and start clearing the damn scene himself.
"I'll pull over at the next exit, okay?" Buck asks, sounding exhausted.
"I really need to pee," Eddie admits.
"Honestly, me too," he says. "Really thought we'd be at the cabin by now."
After another nearly 30 minutes, Buck is able to ease the Jeep off the freeway to find a Circle K for them to pee and grab some shitty canned coffees. Plus, the Jeep is now at a quarter of a tank from sitting in that much traffic.
Eddie goes to the bathroom first while Buck pumps the gas, grabbing them the coffees on his way out. When he finishes, he finds Buck's left the Jeep at the pump, so he leans against the side of it, waiting for Buck to return. And when he does, Eddie's breath hitches at the sight of him. It's not like he doesn't look at Buck all the time. Of course he does. But right now, in the golden light of the midday sun, as Buck slides his sunglasses back on his face, Eddie can't help but think mine. He has a moment to pass his eyes over Buck's form before Buck finds his position and his face lights up.
"You got the coffees?" Buck calls out as he draws nearer.
"Yep!" Eddie calls back, holding one can out for Buck, "and I grabbed an area map."
"Why?" Buck scrunches his face up in confusion.
"To find an alternate route." Eddie shrugs.
"Eddie, you don't even know where we're going. Plus that's what GPS is for."
"You know I barely like that stuff. Plus we'll probably lose signal up there anyway. And you didn't even think to grab a paper map. We would have been totally lost up there."
Buck rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses. "There's service up there," he assures.
"Well, I got this just in case," Eddie shrugs, holding out the folded map.
"You are such a technophobe, Eds," Buck says, fond, shaking his head.
"You want me to drive or should I be navigator?"
"I'm good to keep driving. As long as we don't have to deal with more standstill traffic."
They hop in and Buck brings the engine to life while Eddie unfolds the map.
"Okay, I think we can go north up through Claremont and then west through Rancho Cucamonga 'til we hit the 15, then take that all the way around into the desert."
"Sounds scenic," Buck smiles brightly, rivaling the desert sun.
"All I've ever known is desert," Eddie admits. "El Paso—desert, Kandahar—desert, LA—desert."
"Well," Buck shrugs, "it's exotic to me."
Eddie rolls his ow eyes. "And how many years have you lived in LA?"
Buck snorts. "Listen, I've always wanted to get out to Big Bear. I just… uh, never had anyone to really go with."
Eddie's first instinct is to ask Buck about all the partners Buck could have taken out there, but he doesn't actually want to compare himself to any of them, so he just hums noncommittally.
"All right, Navigator Eddie, point us in the right direction."
…
They merge onto the 18 in Victorville about an hour later, and then there's just sand everywhere. Buck is still driving and Eddie has the paper map spread across his lap.
"I hate sand," Eddie says, offhand, because it's true.
"Okay, Anakin," Buck snorts at him.
"Skywalker?" Eddie asks, peering at the side of Buck's amused face.
"Yeah, he… he hates sand?" Buck tries to explain.
"Honestly, I watched those movies in the theaters when they came out. Chris wanted to watch them so often I completely tuned them out."
"So uncultured, Eddie," Buck laughs, biting into a piece of jerky from the bag he had perched in his lap.
"Shut up!" Eddie defends himself. "At least I've seen the Godfather and Matrix movies."
Buck scoffs. "I can't watch them now. They've been in the zeitgeist too long." He flaps a hand vaguely in Eddie's direction.
Eddie is endlessly endeared.
…
They arrive to Big Bear Lake with plenty of time to spare, the summer sun still bright. Eddie's always loved this time of year, loved it being light out until nearly 9 PM. It just made it feel like the days were so long in the best ways. Like he wasn't losing time. Now, it feels like he's extending this day spent with his best friend, even if they have three more days out here together.
The map got them directly to the visitor center. It's a squat little building reminiscent of a cabin, an A-point roof, rough hewn bricks for a fireplace, and lumber laid horizontally around it. There's a sign that says they can only park for 20 minutes, which is fine. They just need to pee and maybe get directions to their cabin.
When they hop out, stretching their legs, a horse drawn carriage clops by. So many tourists are milling about in fashionable clothes and big sun hats. It's not really Eddie's vibe, but he's still happy to be here with Buck. Especially when they meet in front of the Jeep and Buck smiles wide at him.
"You did a good job navigating, Eddie," he says, making a warm fuzzy pit form in Eddie's stomach.
Buck's proud of him.
"Let's hit the head, ask for some directions up to the cabin, and then walk around for a bit before grabbing dinner?" Buck suggests.
"Sounds great," Eddie smiles back, because it does sound great. Spending time with Buck just sounds great.
Turns out, their cabin is close by. The person working the visitor center in their beige uniform that makes them look like a park ranger even if they aren't knows it well and gives them great directions to find it. They also gave them some recommendations on parking and where to grab dinner.
"See?" Eddie says, sliding his sunglasses back on as they step into the afternoon. "No need for GPS at all."
Buck shrugs. "Maybe this time."
"Every time," Eddie pushes as they hop back into the Jeep to move it to a longer term spot while they explore the town. "And they said main office is open pretty late, so it's okay for us to be out for a bit before we get down there."
They circle a few blocks before they finally find an open spot to park and then they hop out to walk around, visiting all kinds of dumb tourist shops—the ones with all the branded stuff that says "Big Bear" on it, the hippie shops, the jewelry stores, leather work stores, sporting goods stores.
Eddie's starting to get exhausted by the time they arrive at Benny's Family Restaurant. They are seated immediately at a small, low booth with brown and gray vinyl seats right next to the claw machine. It's a little cramped and a lot intimate, even if it is clear the restaurant itself is not romantic.
"Look, Eddie!" Buck shouts, holding up the menu, drawing the attention of a nearby family, "They serve breakfast all day!"
He knows it isn't—he knows, okay?—but it feels like a date. He feels, in that small, cramped little booth in a town two hours from home, like he's on a date with his best friend while said best friend chirps innocently about all the possibilities of what he could have for dinner.
"Okay," Eddie smiles, feeling it stretch his face and knowing it's that damn smile he reserves just for Buck and Chris.
Fuck, he's besotted. It's fucking embarrassing.
"But you can't have just sugar," he says, like the dad he is. "Make sure you get some protein, too."
Buck smirks at him over the menu. "Oh trust, Eddie. I get plenty of protein."
It's not meant to be suggestive, Eddie knows, but it makes his face hot just the same, and he buries his face in his own menu to hide.
…
When they arrive to Cedar Lake Camp, the front office is still open. The person running it seems to be a teenage girl who's bored as all hell, reading some trashy romance book by the looks of the cover.
"Is there cell service up here?" Eddie asks her.
"Not much," she responds, popping her gum as she types a few things into the computer.
"See?" Eddie says, elbowing Buck next to him. "GPS really wouldn't have saved us."
The girl actually rolls her eyes. "I'd be a lot less bored if there was." She types a little more and then pauses. "Okay, Buckley. You guys got the West Cottage. Is this your honeymoon or something?"
Eddie freezes and Buck starts spluttering, but the teen doesn't actually seem all that interested in the answer. Instead, she pulls out a paper map of the facility with all the different areas numbered.
"It's number 14 on this map," she explains, circling it with a Sharpie. "We're here at ten," she continues, circling the main building, "and you'll just follow the road up this way, then take a right." She drags the Sharpie along the road until it connects the two circles.
"Th-thanks," Buck stutters, taking the map from her.
"No problem," she says, sounding somewhat sarcastic, though Eddie is so eager to leave the lodge that he isn't too bothered by her.
They load back into the Jeep silently, the whole time the word honeymoon circling around in his head. He really, really hopes Buck has let it go, otherwise Eddie is certain he'll be sniffed out. Like, by someone else bringing any attention at all to a possible romantic connection between the two will make it that much easier for Buck to realize that Eddie's hopelessly in love with him and want to end their trip early because he won't be able to stand being in the same cabin as Eddie.
"You know," Buck says into the silence of the Jeep's cabin, since they'd lost cell service and aren't connected to Spotify anymore, "they filmed The Parent Trap up here."
"I thought you didn't watch movies," Eddie snorts, grateful for any topic of conversation that wasn't about any kind of romantic tension between them.
"Well, I've seen The Parent Trap, Eddie. It was a staple of the 90s and early aughts. Plus, I had a crush on Lindsay Lohan," he shrugs as they turn right at a little wooden stop sign as per instructions. "I didn't even realize she didn't actually have a twin until years later."
He knows he should not be jealous—of Lindsay Lohan, of all people!—but there's still that little part of him that's actually jealous that Buck did not have a crush on him at those tender ages where Buck didn't even know him. It's such a dumb thought.
They pull up to the cabin, the Jeep's lights illuminating the wood and stone cabin. It's exactly what Eddie had been expecting.
"You didn't tell me we'd have access to a lake," Eddie says, eyes roving over the colorful little map. "It's literally right across the road."
Buck's already pulling bags out of the back. "You did bring your swim trunks didn't you?" he calls, heading toward the front door.
Eddie freezes standing next to the Jeep. He knew they'd be at Big Bear and that there was, hypothetically, going to be opportunities for swimming. He had even put swim trunks on his mental packing list, but he'd still gotten that familiar itchy feeling like he'd forgotten something even as they were going over everything they'd packed to make sure they hadn't forgotten.
"You forgot your swim trunks, didn't you, Eddie?" Buck nearly explodes, dropping the bags at the front door—not angry, just incredulous.
"I knew I'd forgotten something," Eddie admits, sheepish as he climbs the few steps to the front door.
"Well," Buck deflates, dropping his shoulders and using the key to open the door, "guess we'll just have to go skinny dipping."
Eddie's brain's motherboard fries at that. He is trying really, really hard not to imagine Buck naked and is failing miserably.
"Buck!" Eddie hollers, following him into the main room of the cabin. "There's like… other people here. Families and stuff. We cannot get caught for indecent exposure!"
Buck snorts, plopping the luggage into the center of the room. "Then I guess we'll just have to do it late at night when everyone else is asleep."
Eddie's eyes sweep around the room as he casts out for an excuse not to go skinny dipping with Buck. There's a decently sized kitchen, a living room with a couch and a couple of chairs, a rough hewn stone fireplace, and huh… one bedroom?
"Buck?" Eddie says, completely interrupting Buck in the middle of saying they'll buy Eddie swim trunks in town tomorrow, "is there… is there only one bed?"
"Huh?" Buck says, mouth open dumbly and Eddie hates how cute he still finds it.
"There's just the one bedroom and one bed? Or is there, like, another secret bedroom I don't see?"
Buck's face scrunches. "No, I swear this cabin has two rooms."
He goes to pull his phone out and realizes there's no signal. "Fuck," he mutters to himself.
"I swear to god, Eddie," he tries, pocketing his phone and scrubbing at his face with the heels of his hands. "I swear I booked the one with two rooms." He looks frantically around the cabin. "I'll take the couch."
Eddie frowns. "You literally will not fit on that couch. It will barely fit you just sitting on it. It's like half of your body lengthwise. And I can't fit on it either."
Buck moves to the bedroom and clicks on the light. "This is a queen, Eddie. What, both of us are gonna fit on a queen?"
Eddie follows him over. "Well, at least it's long enough for both of us. It's fine."
Eddie's heart is racing. It doesn't feel fine. How can he share a bed with Buck when he's attracted to him? Not just romantically, but well…sexually too? What are they gonna do about morning wood? Just ignore it? Fuck, that is so awkward.
He's so screwed.
"We can get a regular hotel room. Or, you know, two hotel rooms, for the night. Then we can just… go home. This was a stupid idea, anyway," Buck starts babbling and Eddie has to grab him by the shoulders to get him to calm down.
"Buck," he says, using that voice that he knows always cuts through Buck's loud thoughts.
He's relieved when Buck's blue eyes snap to him, clear and bright.
"This wasn't a stupid idea. It's going to be fun. We've both died or nearly died how many times? We can handle sharing a bed with our best friend for a couple of days, okay?"
Buck nods wordlessly.
"Need to hear you say it, bud. Okay?"
"Okay," Buck murmurs.
"Okay. Now, help me get the rest of the stuff from the Jeep."
…
The sun has long since set, it's nearing midnight, and it's been a long day. Eddie's getting a little tired when Buck's words snap him out of his sleepiness.
"Ready to go skinny dip?"
"Buck," Eddie chides, rolling his eyes, "you cannot still seriously be on that."
"Come on, Eds," Buck practically whines, turning his big, beautiful eyes on Eddie, "I wanna go swimming."
Eddie cannot deny Buck anything, even if he plays at putting up a fight. He knows he will relent, eventually. He takes a deep breath through his nose.
"Fine," he says. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. And if we lose our jobs because we get caught swimming with our dicks out, I'm moving into your house and you're going to take care of my unemployed ass and my son."
Buck snorts. "We're not gonna lose our jobs. It's secluded and it's late. Plus, the water is dark. We'll only be visible for a few seconds when we're getting in and out."
It sounds so reasonable when Buck puts it like that.
"You brought towels, right?" Eddie confirms, because no way in hell is he going fucking skinny dipping without a towel to wrap himself in after.
"Yes, Eddie. I made a packing list, and I checked it all off," he says, boastful, goading Eddie for obviously forgetting his swim trunks.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Clipboard Boy," Eddie taunts, standing to toss his empty beer bottle in the trash in the kitchen.
"Clipboard Boy?" Buck squeaks, standing to follow suit.
"Yes, you're anal retentive!" Eddie spins only to find Buck standing closer than he expected.
His breath catches.
"Well, my anal retentiveness has saved our asses more than once!" Buck defends.
Eddie rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. All right. Let's just… get this over with, okay?"
Buck nudges him with his elbow. "Come on, Eds. Don't be a spoil sport. It's gonna be fun! Slightly tipsy skinny dipping in the moonlight with your best bud!"
And Eddie hears it. Fuck, he's so screwed. It doesn't feel like simple camaraderie. Eddie's gone swimming with plenty of his friends. But there's a difference between playing around and having fun with your friends, skinny dipping as a teenager. They are two single men in their thirties skinny dipping alone. Normal friends don't do this. Still, he follows Buck across the street to the shore of the lake, thankful for the cover of trees, and they find a short dock protected from the moonlight and prying eyes to lay down their towels and kick off their shoes.
Eddie cannot believe he's doing this. It's cooled off now that the sun has set, but the lingering summer warmth still clings to the air. It's easy enough to pull his shirt over his head, to peel his socks off and tuck them inside his shoes, but he gets to his jeans and suddenly he's frozen.
He chances a look over at Buck. Buck's stuck at the exact same step, hands holding the tongue of his belt, not sliding the metal off the leather. Maybe it's struck them both at the same time that this is a stupid idea, not worth risking their jobs, but then all of a sudden Buck is moving—the belt is undone, the zipper pulled down, the jeans and boxers slipped off. Eddie has a brief glimpse of Buck's lily white ass before he's splashing down into the dark green water.
Eddie is stunned, left on the dock with his hands at his belt. Buck just showed him up, and Eddie's competitive streak cannot let that stand. His pants and boxers are off in seconds, his whole body plunging into the pleasantly cool water. He'd intentionally jumped just to the left of where Buck had jumped, trying to scare him just a little.
When he surfaces, Buck is there, slicking his hair back out of his face and sputtering it out of his mouth, water droplets getting caught in his pale lashes. The sight is breathtaking.
"Asshole!" Buck calls, going to loop an arm around Eddie's neck to start wrestling in the water.
"Oh, it's on, Buckley," Eddie hollers back, pushing his feet into the muck on the bottom to get leverage to drop into some of his Muay Thai moves, dodging and weave and slipping out of Buck's grip.
It's not lost on Eddie that this is all happening while they are both completely naked, but he is thankful the murky water and the dark night are keeping them hidden. And Buck might be all muscle, a brick house, but it's all functional strength. He used to be fast on his feet with how long his legs are, but now he's kind of useless trying to grapple with Eddie. He can't keep hold and Eddie is letting out peel after peel of giddy laughter at getting to spar with his best friend.
He makes a mental note that if they somehow survive this trip, he should try to convince Buck to join his Muay Thai gym so they can spar more often.
Eddie sees the moment determination slides over Buck's face, the moment it shifts from silly competition to a desire to win. God, they're both so damn competitive. And in all the ruckus, the splashing, the laughter—the love?—Eddie hadn't noticed he'd been moved back and back and back. Until Buck has him pinned against the side of the dock.
"Fuck," Eddie breathes, the word more air then sound.
The entire hard line of Buck's large, warm body is pressing into him, his thick fingers wrapped around Eddie's wrists.
And he's hard. So is Eddie.
Buck blinks, Eddie blinks.
"I…" Buck starts, looking away, pulling back and letting go of Eddie's wrists.
Eddie uses his new found freedom to reach out and grab Buck at the waist, pull him flush against him again. It's now or never.
He kisses Buck, full on the mouth, slick with spit and lake water. And it's all a little bit gross, but it's also them, through and through.
When they pull back, Eddie gets to glimpse Buck with his lips pushed forward and his eyes half lidded. He's beautiful and haloed in moonlight. He shivers, but he doesn't think it's a chill in the night air. It's… love? The way Buck is looking at him now, it's not just horny—though it definitely is that—it's full of love.
"Eddie," Buck whispers in that sacred space between them.
Eddie recognizes the look on his best friend's face—the look that says he's seconds away from panicking, seconds away from running. He squeezes Buck closer to him, their bodies slippery with the lake water.
"Buck, no, don't away from this," Eddie tells him, quiet but firm—his "dad voice," he's been told.
"I'm, I'm sor-sorry, I shouldn't have…" Buck is stammering, and Eddie cuts him off before he can say anything stupid.
"I kissed you, idiot," Eddie tells him, huffing just a little.
"You… wait, you what?" Buck says, sniffing, eyes darting around to look anywhere but Eddie's face.
"Are you already doing revisionist history in your head, Buck? I kissed you, not the other way around."
That gets Buck's eyes on his, dark gray in the moonlight. He's still wearing a confused look. "You… you…"
"I kissed you, Buck. Yeah. It means I wanted to, just so you know."
Buck deflates, his large frame deflating into Eddie's against the dock. "You wanted to kiss me?" he whispers, his mouth at Eddie's collarbone, making Eddie shiver again.
"Yes," Eddie admits into the side of Buck's wet head. "I, um, I'm in love you."
It's a clumsy confession in such a weird place, but he thinks maybe it doesn't matter because it's him and Buck, and as long as they're together, it doesn't matter.
Buck's breath shudders against him before he lifts his face to look at Eddie, clear and focused. "I'm in love with you, too," he says, the words so unbelievable Eddie isn't sure he heard right.
"You are?"
Buck nods. "I thought I would die with this love, Eddie." His voice is so soft, breaking Eddie's heart.
"I thought the same," he admits, letting a hand travel up to land over Buck's heart.
The gesture means more than the two of them could ever verbalize. Buck's heart is, despite everything, still beating solid and strong beneath Eddie's wide palm.
"Are we…" Buck starts. "Are we doing this?"
"I… I want to, if you do," he admits.
"I do," Buck agrees, "I really, really do." And then, he kisses Eddie himself.
When they break apart this time, Eddie's got himself an agenda. "Okay, I'm ready to get out of this cold water. Can we shower and go to bed?"
"In the one bed?" Buck waggles his eyebrows, and Eddie feels his face heat.
"Yes, idiot. In the one bed."
They manage to get out of the water quickly and wrap their towels around them, making it back to the cabin unseen. After a nice, warm shower together, they get into bed on the queen mattress.
It's just big enough for the two of them.