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The air around the locker room felt electric, as it always did after a win.
The laughs and loud voices filled the entire space, surrounding the team with such a joy that could only have come from a tough game, but a well fought one. This wasn't the norm, the sharks still had losses behind their backs, and more to come.
They had learned not to take wins for granted, but a celebration was due. The ecstatic atmosphere felt so much better than what happened after bad games, when every whisper sounded like a scream, and the quiet water of the showers running felt like knives cutting their skin.
They earned this. This win. They got through the fight as a team, as a family. And they came up as victors.
Mack felt as cheerful as ever, so glad all his efforts brought to the sharks two of the three goals they had gotten throughout the game. He still felt like he could've done more, so much more, as he always did. But the thoughts about how he could improve quickly faded away. All that could wait.
Their opponents, the New York Rangers, only managed to get one goal in the teal net, carefully protected by Nedeljkovic.
Mack was so proud of the goalie, as well as Regenda, for scoring the second goal. But he was honestly so happy to be surrounded by such great teammates.
This win was definitely going to bring them all together somewhere to celebrate. Mack, though unusually so, was looking forward to going out with everyone. His heart still beat hard due to the adrenaline flowing inside him, he turned back and shook Will’s shoulders with excitement, as praises and cheers followed behind them.
In that moment, nothing could've broken them, but, even if the outcome had been a positive one, like every other game, it had been a fight.
And not everyone gets out of a fight unscathed.
This time, despite his constant attempts at carefulness, avoiding dangerous situations like the pest, it was Mack who took the hit.
He knew it happened a lot. Hell, it surely as hell wasn't the first time he got hurt, and it certainly would not be the last. He just had to breathe a sigh of relief when he was reassured that his nose was, in fact, not broken. He had the Olympics to attend! He had every right to be worried about something that could keep him away from his dream of representing Canada at such a huge event.
Through his bright smile, happily chatting with his teammates, his face ached with a dull pain. The stretch of the muscles in his face caused it, yet he couldn't bring himself to hold a neutral expression, not when he was so, so glad of the company he was around.
And yet, no matter how hard he tried burying it deep in his mind, that ache was nothing but a sharp reminder of not just his bloody nose, or playing while barely being able to feel his own face, or the fear of it being something much more serious than it actually was.
It was a reminder of Gabe fucking Perreault.
Believing it had been just an accident felt like the right thing. He didn't like holding grudges, nor blaming people for something that naturally occurred in a contact sport like hockey. Had it been anyone else, he would have forgotten it completely by now. Had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have doubted the intentions of such a hit.
But it wasn't someone else. It was Perreault.
He really tried to let the thought of the guy fade in his mind, he didn't want to shut down and think about what the hit had meant, despite his nose painfully ringing the bell for him. I don't hold grudges, it's just a childish way to avoid pointing the blame towards yourself, he needed to remind himself.
Looking to the side from the skates he had been untying, he was met with Will’s blue eyes staring right back, an unreadable expression planted on his face.
Mack hated any look he wasn't able to decipher, especially whenever it came from Will. The guy was like an open book to him, knew him like the back of his hand, he always wore his heart on his sleeve around Mack, never needing to hide any frustration or complaint. That's what he liked most about his friendship with Will. It was just… sincere.
He tried drawing conclusions about his expression, he made quick notes in his mind that his brows weren't furrowed, and his mouth didn't twitch with what could be annoyance. Okay, he’s not mad.
He barely had time to finish his trail of thoughts when Will leaned slightly towards him, his hand tried reaching for his face and, to Mack’s demise, to his nose.
Before he could pull away to avoid another jolt of pain, the blonde pressed lightly at the middle of his nose. “That still hurt?”
“Ow dude! Stop!” He hissed, smacking Will’s hand away with a chuckle. There was no harshness to his tone, no frown on his face. He was still smiling as bright as a star.
“Whoops” Will came up with, holding his hand dramatically after the smack, his usual smile back.
“Tell your boy Gabe not to aim for my face next time. He almost broke my nose, dude.” Mack’s tone was still, despite the annoyed feeling deep in his throat at Perreault, lighthearted, trying not to show any malice towards the man that still was, sadly, he thought, Will’s best friend.
Still, Will tensed up beside him at the remarks.
Mack wasn't sure of the reasoning behind it. Yeah he didn't exactly like Perreault, but Will didn't know about how he felt towards the guy. He would never want to put Will in the tight spot of choosing. Mostly because, if he had to admit it, he wasn't so sure that, if put to comparison, Will would choose Mack instead of his best buddy from BC.
Was he actually showing his harsh opinion without realizing it?
Had Will noticed?
The blonde man still sat right beside him, but his focus was now completely shifted to his gear. Mack’s smile faltered the slightest bit.
He didn't… actually hate Gabe. He could never be able to bring himself to do so. He knew how important he was to Will, how helpful and caring he could be whenever a friend was in need.
Yet, Mack couldn't ignore the quiet pit growing in his stomach whenever any conversation shifted to Perreault: all the fun stories Will shared from his time in BC, the memories he still carried around like the chain hanging from his neck. But if you asked Mack about it in a weak moment, he would say it hurt.
It hurt when Will would light up at the mention of Gabe’s name. It hurt when their teams played against each other, and the two would go out together for lunch or dinner to catch up. It hurt when he’d see the pictures they took together, all smiley and carefree. And it hurt like hell, because Mack knew he could never be to Will what Gabe had been, and still manages to be. His favorite person.
“I’m sorry about him.”
Will’s voice came after a while. Mack had changed into his casual clothes after taking a long shower, a desperate attempt at wiping away every negative thought. Will seemed to be getting ready to have one as well. His fingers fiddled with the tower hugging his sides.
And Mack couldn't bear to hear how quiet and almost ashamed his voice got. No matter his personal grudges, who was he to ruin the cheery mood of the locker room? Especially since Will, with time, had become the one who set the mood for everyone else around them.
Even Mack, shaken up after a bad loss, could be lifted of the heavy weight on his shoulders by a joke Will would make. He had such a charm to him that just couldn't be described.
So, he tried fixing it the best way he could.
“No need to apologize, man. I’m not taking it personally. Don't worry. Go take a shower, we’re going to celebrate with the others once you get out.”
Mack gave Will a sincere smile, hoping it would have the desired effect of making the blonde cheer up as well. He really didn't want to upset Will for such childish behaviors.
“Yeah, okay. Be back in a bit, Macky”
As Will got up, he gave back a weak smile, and Mack watched his back walk away, sighing.
Macky. How he adored that nickname. Had it come from anyone else on the team, he would've thought he was getting made fun of. But from Will, it meant closeness, familiarity, a different kind of fondness he didn't share with anyone else.
Oh, curse him if you must, but the fluttering feeling in his stomach he felt everytime Will called him that grounded him, it made him feel warm and so content.
He couldn't deny it to himself, he had always known that anxiously and constantly wondering at his own feelings for the boy could do him no good. He had embraced the love he felt and let it build more chemistry on the ice, something they eventually ended up becoming incredibly famous for. How they care for each other was what made their game wonderful. It made them stronger.
It wasn't his obviously unreciprocated feelings that made him upset at Gabe’s presence in Will's life, he wasn't… jealous. It was just the ugly thought that, though he would never show it, Will didn't care as much for Mack as he did care, however, for Gabe.
He’d thought about it time after time: they had known each other for much longer, had been through everything by each other's side. It was a no-brainer, considering Gabe the best of the best among all his friends. He couldn't blame him if Perreault came before everyone else.
Yet it stung Mack, thinking of the possibility that he too, could only ever be a step below someone like Perreault.
His train of thought was quickly shut off by Will walking back in, his hair damp and towel laying loosely around his hips.
Mack, though he tried fighting it as hard as he could, even after countless occasions of seeing the blonde like this in the locker room, felt burned by the sight, and looked away. For his own sake.
“Ready to go, Macky?” Will then said after a short while, now fully clothed and up.
He nodded and trailed after the blonde as they made their way towards the side exit of the building, aching for some fresh air after a long game and so much time spent in the humid locker room.
It felt great, being able to take a full breath of the chilly January air. They stopped a second at the door, just to get used to the change in temperatures between the warmth inside and the Californian winter that had waited for them outside. He and Will met each other's gaze and smiled lightly, eager to join the rest of the team as soon as they could.
And yet.
It seemed like a sick joke.
The kind of thing the universe had thrown at him countless times before. Only he now wasn't in the right headspace to think about that stupid voice.
Even less to hear it shake the ground with its deep tone.
“Oh, look who it is, Mack-yyyy.” he made sure to pop the k, and let the y roll out as long as his lungs could handle.
Again, Gabe fucking Perreault came to haunt him.
The sick joke was the guy's entire existence, Mack mumbled in his mind.
He turned around at the same time as Will, both caught by surprise by the man.
It felt truly and utterly like a prank! A prank!
Either that, or a god existed, and they hated his guts.
Perreault’s tone was mocking. The nickname almost felt like a threat, coming from his mouth. He dared make fun of Mack as if he was the one who lost 3-1.
Will came in, trying to break the tension that suddenly formed between the two.
What used to be a gummy smile on Mack’s face, when it had been just him and Will, had now turned into a blank expression. His mouth only a thin line, his eyes glaring as if they were trying to cut Perreault in two on the spot, letting him bleed out in the SAP Center parking lot.
“Gabe, what’s up man.”
There was, surprisingly, barely half the excitement in the blonde’s voice as Mack had expected.
He hadn't reached to hug his best friend, didn't show any signs of wanting to move from his spot besides Mack. He pushed his side into Mack’s instead. Not as a way to get him to greet Gabe as well, but as a way he had learned conveyed the message of:
I’m with you. I’m pissed off too.
In the moment, he thought about Will going still at the mention of the hit coming from Perreault. Maybe it was a hint, maybe he thought it was unfair too. Maybe Perreault wasn't Will’s sweetheart as much as Mack believed him to be.
He wanted to beat himself up a bit, thinking about that. He wasn't supposed to be happy about two best friends falling out… Yet, he was.
“I’m good, man, all good.” he smiled slightly, then changed his expression back to his sarcastic, fake smirk he seemed to have reserved for Mack tonight.
“How ‘bout you, Celebrini? You good?”
If it wasn't for the weight of Will’s body pressing into his side, he would've already been at the guy's throat. He didn't like fighting, especially not against someone that was so dear to Will. He also didn't want to fight in public, not somewhere so close to where his fans could see him make a fool of himself. He wasn't a good fighter, and didn't want to ruin his pretty face before the Olympics. But.
But Gabe was teasing him, testing the waters and Mack’ patience, waiting for him to give in to the frustration and snap.
Will tried to prevent what he felt was about to happen, putting his arm around Mack’s shoulders to ground him even more, to calm his nerves. But the adrenaline flowing inside Mack’s body from the game still hadn't left, the chirps from Perreault only fueling it much more. He breathed heavily, as a last minute resort, he did try to ignore whatever Gabe had said.
He scratched at his neck, looked to the side searching for Will’s face, did literally anything to keep himself busy and distracted. But Gabe’s presence in front of him felt heavier and heavier as the seconds of silence pressed on.
Will stopped bothering with his friendly act as soon as the last question was out of Perreault’s mouth.
Unsatisfied with the lack of an answer, Perreault decided to,
really, what was he thinking?
throw an arm at Mack’s face, and softly smack his nose.
“Hah, I hit you so go-” he finished his sentence with a loud ackk, his back now being heavily pushed on the outside wall of the building behind them. Looking up, he saw,
“Will, what the fuck!” he shouted. And Mack felt as still as a statue, looking at the scene playing in front of him.
Perreault grabbed the hands pinning him on his back and tried to shake them off himself.
“Dude! Get off! What the hell are you doing!?” He almost sounded hurt.
Guess he didn't expect for Will to come at Mack’s defense that easily.
Well, Mack didn't either.
“Knock it off, Perreault. You sound like a child.” Gabe then managed to shake Will off, and pulled himself up straight.
“You know what?” He then said, moving to leave, finally. The mocking tone didn't leave his voice though, no matter the embarrassment of being handled and pushed so easily.
“Keep being gay with your little fucking boyfriend, Will. Like i care.” Both Gabe and Will let out a chuckle filled with disbelief.
Mack saw Will’s expression falter.
As Perreault angrily walked away, he whispered a small fuck you that, despite everything, could still be heard.
And the two of them were left in the silence of the aftermath of what had happened.
***
The ride to the location the team had sent on the group chat felt endless.
No sentence had been heard ever since Perreauly had walked away. They got to the car in tandem, each settling into their seats without a word.
Mack felt crushed. His excitement leading up to the post-game celebration had vanished quickly, but he couldn't bring himself to let the team down. He looked to his side.
Will was gripping the steering wheel like it owed him money, his hands flying to his mouth before suddenly remembering he shouldn't be biting his fingernails.
Just fighting the urge seemed to drain him.
And Mack had so much to say.
He had so much to tell him and thank him for. He wanted Will to stop the car just so Mack could hug him.
He felt like it was all his fault.
Had it not been for Mack’s stupid grudge getting triggered by Gabe’s words, Will would be smiling. He would be singing a dumb pop song loudly and dancing in his seat, trying to get Mack to join him too. He was upset at Perreault, but even that was an understatement. In his attempt not to let the guy get to him, he left Will to deal with it, rather than facing it himself.
He felt pathetic.
He felt like crying.
He wanted to tell Will how much he cared for him and how thankful he was for all he had done for him.
But right now, he just wanted to be back at his house, sat on his bed with Will right by his side, smiling at a show he wasn't even following.
But he wasn't. He was driving to a party he didn't want to attend.
“Mack.”
Will’s voice came as a shockwave to Mack’s body, shaking him out, once again, from his spiral.
Their eyes met, and Mack hoped his watery eyes weren't as easy to notice as he thought they were.
“Never let him treat you like he did tonight.” Will began, looking away again, shaking his head in disapproval.
Mack had just realized the car was now still. They found themselves at the parking lot of the bar they were supposed to join the team at, but neither of them had any intention to leave the enclosed space.
“You don't deserve any of it. Gabe is an asshole, especially when he’s pissed at someone.”
Will’s eyes looked like fire was burning inside of them. He didn't seem sad, nor defeated, tired, yes. But there was something about him in that moment that seemed to have been set ablaze.
“And he's not pissed at you, Mack.”
“Yeah, right”
Macklin immediately regretted his sarcastic tone, but the knot tying his throat made it so hard to speak carefully.
“He’s not.” Then, Will locked his eyes with Mack’s again and sighed. “He’s pissed at me. Like, really fucking pissed.”
Mack’s face gave in to the confusion. Why would he ever be mad at you? goes unsaid, he lets Will talk.
“He’s upset that I’ve been pulling back. From him. From the others. From our friendship. He thinks that he’s entitled to keep me.” He took a pause.
“He can't cope with the fact that I’ve found better. And I've found way, way better.”
The words hung above them for a second, and Mack’s heart felt like it was going to explode into a million pieces for how hard it had been beating inside his chest. Will looked so upset, vulnerable.
His voice was shaky, but he kept going.
“He’s taking it out on you for one reason only: it's the only way to get to me. He knows-” he breathed in deep, crossing his arms on his chest. “He knows how important you are to me, and he thinks that making you feel like shit and hitting you will make me, somehow, crawl right back.
But I won't let him. And I wish he could hear me saying this right now, just so he could give up and walk away with his tail tucked between his legs like he did earlier.
But to me, you are so much more than he could ever wish to be. You are so, so much more, Mack.”
And Mack actually felt like his heart had burst.
He lunged himself towards Will across the space between their seats and wasted no time hugging him so, so hard. Cloud nine was a lowly place compared to this.
He didn’t fight it when a couple of tears wet the spot of Will's shoulder he was laying upon.
They held each other close, and the many things Mack had been trying not to say for the longest time were threatening to make themselves known.
It was something he had learned after spending a bad post-game in Will's arms, when he felt too overwhelmed by his failure to even be able to speak.
How he felt in a warm embrace. In Will's embrace.
It made him feel safe.
It made him brave.
But he was still so unsure with words, actions had always done better a better job at getting a message across.
So he pulled back a couple of inches, eyes still reddish from the tears, and just went for it.
The kiss landed on Will's cheek, just as Mack had wanted.
And he didn't want it to feel like a tease, he didn't want to weird Will out or to scare him off.
He was just so grateful to have him there. He had to show it to him. And if a good kiss would work, then so be it.
He leaned closer to his ear, and whispered a small, thankful, “You're so much more to me too, Will.”
He felt Will shiver as the words left his mouth.
Then, there was an instant.
An instant where Mack had thought the moment would end there, that he would lean back down into his seat and feel content enough to go drink something with the guys waiting for them.
An instant where this would just be a display of fond friendship, slowly forgotten by the both of them as just a moment when they felt comfortable around each other.
Then there was a second one.
And Mack had barely registered Will cupping his cheeks and pulling him towards himself with force.
It took him a couple of important seconds to realise it and oh.
He felt Will's lips on his like a waterfall crashing into a stream.
He felt as if stuck inside an unbelievable dream he would have never wanted to wake up from.
It was rougher than Mack had fantasized their first kiss to be, laying lonely in his bed and wondering if he would've ever gotten the chance to get something as precious as this.
He still clinged on every second, every detail of what was happening. Hoping it would never end.
It took them some time to break apart, their breaths filling the silence between them.
Will seemed to fumble with his words, a mortified look on his face.
And Mack got it all at once. Will had been so scared too.
He felt another wave of tears stinging the back of his eyes at the thought of Will, fearing he had fucked something up by doing the thing Mack had been waiting for for so damn long.
“Mack.. I'm sorr-”
He didn't get to finish before Mack was kissing him again. Slower and softer this time, reassuring Will with all his might that there was nothing, nothing to be sorry for.
After their second ever kiss, Mack proudly announced in his mind, they just sat there, embracing each other carefully, a moment of rest after that night's unending turmoil.
Breaking their sacred silence, Will whispered softly
“Let's go home, Macky.”
He traced one last circle on Will's back before pulling away.
Still looking towards the blonde, he smiled shyly.
“Yeah, okay.”
Sitting back down, he felt the tiredness from that day hit him all at once, and he fell asleep even before they reached Will’s house.
***
They woke up as the first rays of sunshine lit the room, brightening it through the cracks of Will's curtains.
As Mack came to terms with his surroundings, he felt heat pressing on his back, and opened his eyes slightly just to look down, and see Will's arms curled around his torso.
Will's breath and hair tickled the back of his neck, but he didn’t seem to care. Not when he felt so calm. Calmer than he's ever felt in his entire existence.
He turned around inside Will's embrace to face him, and noticed how his brows furrowed at the change. He then, too, started opening his eyes.
Before the blonde could say anything, Mack pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and smiled into it.
“Morning, Will.”
Mack then felt him shift again, now resting his head close to Mack’s heart.
“G'morning, Macky.”
And this felt better than any win. Better than anything else he had even felt in his life.
Yes, even better than watching Gabe Perreault walk away defeated and embarrassed. So much better.