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You know, when Pomni put on that headset in that abandoned office building all those months ago, she was expecting some weird jump scare from that Freddy game her niece constantly talked about. The last thing she was expecting was a one-way trip to a brand new body and a bugged out video game world. She expected even less to bond with the people inside. All that to say, why the hell did Caine throw them in the middle of a desert, tell them to find the three-humped camel, and call it an adventure. She didn’t even want to be on this adventure anyways. She was regretting not staying in her room and crying until she couldn’t breathe. That was so much better than this.
“Stick together!”
“I can’t see!”
“Of course NOW the adventure is realistic!”
“F(%$^) my life.”
“AHHHHH-”
“Oh god!”
Oh, did she forget to mention they were all trapped in a giant sandstorm? It came out of nowhere— it was a giant wall of dust and sand, hitting over them like a tsunami. It kept knocking everyone over, carrying Gangle away a few times before Zooble would frantically grab her. The sand kept getting into Pomni’s eyes, making them water as they stung. She could barely even see her hands in front of her as she kept choking on dust, coughing so much she swore she was going to throw up a few times.
It was getting harder to rely on hearing, the wind getting louder with its strength. She squinted in front of her, and she could swear she saw the silhouette of Ragatha grabbing onto Kinger and powering forward. “Pomni! Come on! We found shelter!”
Shelter? Oh, thank god. If she had to be in this haboob any longer, she would have just lost her sanity. “I’m coming- AGH-”
But just as she was about to go forward, the wind rapidly changed direction, catching her off guard. She stumbled and gasped, breathing in dust and sand. Her throat suddenly closed up, hacking aggressively. She grabbed at it, feeling like she was choking. Another change in wind slammed into her face again, her vision going black as she felt sand grains scratching at her eyes. She yelled out, panicked, not knowing what to do.
The jester rushed forward, wanting to latch onto the doll until they were safe and sound inside some shelter away from this hell, but the wind whipped her around instead, throwing her body to the ground.
Pomni felt her head slam against the hard, rocky ground, feeling pain shoot from her temple to the rest of her head. She yelled out in pain, turning over onto her chest, pushing herself off the ground. The migraine that had implanted itself into her now exploded, making her arms shake as she flopped onto the ground again. Fear gripped at her stomach, all her senses completely blinded.
I’m going to die. Fuck fuck fuck. Oh my god, oh my fucking god.
The pain suddenly doubled, her head feeling like it was going to explode. Her stomach felt uneasy, making vomit feel like it was trying to creep up her throat. The jester wanted to yell out in panic, but her screams were drowned out by the storm. Even so, it sure as hell didn’t stop her from trying.
“Help! I-I’m lost! Ragatha?! Kinger?!” It made her head feel like it was being stabbed with a knife, but she kept yelling. “Zooble?! Gangle?! Jax?!” Her face flopped on the floor again, her brain feeling like it weighed hundreds of pounds. “Anyone?!”
Pomni’s body started to shake, a wave of dizziness crashing over her. Her head felt like it both weighed like a brick and was floating on air. Wait, no- no no, she knew those symptoms.
Don’t pass out! For God’s sake, DO NOT pass out! This was like the worst time to take a snooze. The harlequin knew she would get lost if she didn’t get on her feet right now.
Just get up. Do NOT pass out. Stay awake, Pomni. Oh god, oh god, please just get up!
STAY AWAKE-
.
…
……
…GASP!
Pomni felt her eyes fly open, her throat dryer than the sand around her. She coughed and hacked, the blue sky blinding above her. A ringing noise filled her ears, her stomach tight with anxiety and nausea. She blinked against the sun, letting out a slow breath as she pressed her lips together. She suddenly became aware of the pain in her head. It was less of a sudden and shocking migraine that exploded in her head and more like a pressure pressing against her skull. She groaned as she clutched her head, her vision shifting around like it didn’t know how to focus.
“W-Wha…? What happened…?” The jester focused on the sky above, making her eyes and head sting. Wait… where’s the haboob?
She looked around her, realizing she was laying down on a sandy rock, her body covered in debris. Everything around her was clear, the sun rising from the east starting to beat down on her. She stared at nothing for a minute, trying to process what just happened.
As Pomni sat up, her stomach suddenly lurched and she felt herself gag. The pain in her head exploded as she rolled over and puked, vomit burning her throat. She coughed and sputtered, shaking her head. The nausea died down quickly at least. Even so, pain still gripped at her head.
“Okay…? Ugh, where am I?” Pomni slowly stood up, her legs a little shaky. As looked around, she saw cliffs, cacti, and a big open desert in front of her, but no sign of her friends. Behind her was the same, only more cacti. She huffed, frustration clawing at her chest.
“Hello?!” She called out, knowing it was useless. “Guys?!”
…
Met with silence, Pomni groaned in frustration, then anxiety. Alone on an adventure? She knew Caine’s adventures were usually designed with teamwork in mind. She couldn’t even count the number of times one of the cast has saved her from respawning and vice versa. Her hands suddenly shook, her chest suddenly tight as she thought about the first time she respawned and the horrid pain before she respawned in that white room.
Oh god, it took me weeks to be able to sleep again. And that pain, oh my god the pain. I can’t go through that again. No, no, not again. I can’t be alone, not on an adventure! What if Caine put some giant monster in here? What if I fall off a cliff and break every bone in my body?! What if I-
“N-No, calm down…” Pomni muttered gently, trying to soothe herself. “That hasn’t happened yet. It’s fine…” She let in a deep breath, letting it come out slowly. She wiped some sweat off her forehead, but she couldn’t really tell if it was from her own anxiety, or the increasing heat.
“It’s a desert, of course it’s hot.” The jester said to herself, rolling her eyes. She looked nervously ahead of her, the land stretching as far as she could see. “Alright, the others can’t be that far, right?” She wiped some dust and sand off herself, doing her best to get herself somewhat clean. “Or maybe I could find that camel or something?” Anything but stay where she was. Being trapped with her thoughts was the last thing she needed.
“Okay, cool! I got this.” Pomni just had to stay positive, right? Ragatha said it helped her, so it couldn’t hurt. “Just eh… gonna walk forward. Yep.” She started her journey forward, slowly putting one foot in front of the other. “I’m doing great.”
Even when no one was around her, she still managed to be awkward. Lord, I hate myself.
As Pomni started to climb down the small cliff she was on though, she felt a bit of sweat form on her neck as the sun grew a little stronger on her skin. She sighed, hoping that it wouldn't get too hot. “Ugh, that would suck…”
“This sucks…”
She had been walking out on the desert stretch for what felt like hours. Judging how the sun was just a little west from noon, her assumption was spot on. Over the last hour, Pomni’s legs were starting to get shaky and she panted out every breath. Each step made her knee want to buckle and her throat felt dryer than the sand around her. She swallowed the spit in her mouth, wishing it was a tall glass of cold water she could just chug down.
The jester’s white skin was drenched, completely covered in sweat as she wiped her hand over her forehead again. She could feel her heart beating frantically in her chest, almost feeling like a faint flutter. A big wave of exhaustion washed over her, making her pause in her path for a second.
Her body felt like it was burning, like she was trapped in an oven and couldn’t get out. She swallowed again— her throat feeling like it was sticking to itself— but her mouth was just as dry. The bright sun and intense heat was beating down on the jester, making her skin feel clammy and her legs feel like they could barely support her weight.
“I’m almost there… I’m almost there…” Pomni didn’t believe herself, especially since no camel, friend, or portal was anywhere in her sight, but she couldn’t just flop down and give up. “Ugh, why didn’t Caine give us any supplies…?” Honestly, why was she even on this adventure? Why was she even in this digital world? She should be at work right now, slaving away numbers at a computer, day dreaming about the next abandoned building she would explore and record. Instead, she was this weird looking cartoon jester who was too overheated to think straight.
Never thought I’d miss my boss passive aggressively giving me over time… At least the exhaustion from unpaid labor late in the night didn’t make her throat feel like sand and her legs wobble like a newborn fawn.
But just as the jester was about to push through the heat and take another step, she felt her stomach aggressively cramp. She yelped in pain, falling to the floor ungracefully. Pomni laid there, clutching her abdomen as it felt like a rag being twisted over and over again. She curled into herself, trying to even out her breaths to ease the pain.
“What the f($&^)? AGH- OW!” The cramps came in waves, her skin burning on the ground as she could do nothing but lay there in agony. “Please stop… f(%#$), stop- stop…” The cartoonish noise that filled her mouth made this whole thing feel like a joke. She wouldn’t be surprised if an NPC came out right now just to point as a laughing backtrack played.
The spasms that made her stomach feel like a twisted knot was starting to die down a bit, but only a bit. Just enough to get off the floor and clumsily keep walking. Tears pricked at her eyes and her body threatened to throw itself on the floor again and give up as the cramps in her abdomen flared up again. Still, she pushed through and kept herself going, even if she felt like she was going a little insane.
“Awesome. I love this adventure so much. Thank you Caine for the sun beating down right on my face as I slowly die of a heat stroke. One of your best adventures yet.” It was petty, but she did not have enough energy to care in the slightest. “Oh, you know what would make this adventure even better? Separate me from my friends! That’s a wonderful idea! You’re so damn smart, you f(^$&)ing piece of sh(>@)!” Pomni groaned in frustration, anger burning in her chest just as hot as the air around her. She kicked up the sand, watching as the loose pieces flew off in the wind. She didn’t even know why she was so pissed off— it wasn’t like all of this was new to her.
The harlequin looked up at the sky, feeling her body sway slightly. There wasn’t a cloud in sight— just the big and bright blue sky with two suns.
Two suns?
Pomni focused her vision, her eyes burning and stinging at the bright star. One sun was burning bright in the sky, and there was another she swore she could slightly see through and was moving around as she swayed. She looked down at her hands, seeing two extra hands fading in and out. They dropped down on her sides as she stared forward, not taking another step.
That’s probably bad… Her brain said slowly, her gaze never leaving the sight of the endless desert in front of her. “Maybe I should lay down… or something.”
Wait, where was she again?
Hot.
Right, desert. And what was she looking for again?
Alone…
Right, her friends! Or a portal? “Portal for what…?”
Home.
“Huh?”
Was she having a conversation with herself?
Pomni shook her head, instantly regretting her choice as the world tilted and spun. Her legs were suddenly jelly as she fell on her back, some of the air being knocked out of her. The jester licked her dry lips, her eyes closing without her consent.
I’ll get up in a bit…
The sun beat down heavily, the air around her felt like it was cooking her alive.
I’m fine…
Sweat poured from her head. She could feel it dripping down from all around her, pooling under her arms and around her neck.
I’m…
“Pfft, you look pathetic.”
Pomni’s eyes flew open— the voice sounded carefree and low, a hint of mischief mixed in. She panted out a breath as she opened her eyes slightly, seeing a blurry figure above her. “Jax…?”
“The one and only.”
The jester forced her eyes to focus more, and even though the sky seemed clearer now, Jax remained a purple blur. She let out the smallest laugh, her face shifting to a frown as quickly as her joy came. “How’d you find me…?”
Jax chuckled to himself, and Pomni felt the very vague feeling of him kicking her head, though it almost felt more like a memory. “Don’t know, don’t care. Get up, shorty— as funny as it would be, I’m not letting you die out here.” The rabbit just seemed so blurry compared to everything else— Pomni couldn’t put her finger on it.
The small jester tried to get up, her arms slowly pulling her back to a sitting position, but another stomach cramp wrecked her insides, making her organs feel like they were being squeezed with an iron grip. She fell back to the ground, feeling the heat uncomfortably settle around her as the sweat on her forehead felt like it was beginning to dry up. “I- Uh… I’m having trouble getting up…”
Jax held out a hand to her, one that Pomni stared at for a while as it blurred all over the place. She groaned slightly as she pushed herself up to grab it, only for her hand to phase right through the rabbit. “H-Huh?”
Suddenly, the rabbit bursted into laughter, rolling on the floor and kicking his legs as he howled in delight. “BAHAHAHA- O-Oh my god! You actually fell for that!” He wiped a tear from his eye, still giggling between his teeth.
“F-Fell for what…?” Pomni said weakly, her arms shaking as she held it out in front of her. She looked down at it once more, her hand doubling in her vision again. Her head started to pound with more force as she could feel her pulse quicken in her neck. “What just-”
“Oh, come on, Pom-Pom!” Jax said with a pep in his words, his body still in and out of focus. Even through the blur though, Pomni could still see his wide and yellow grin with his large black eyes. “Do you really think I’m actually here?”
As another wave of exhaustion and heat washed over the jester, making her want to flop on the ground again, realization hit her like a brick. “A-Am… Am I hallucinating?”
“Bingo!” The rabbit appeared right behind her, nearly making her jump out of her skin. “Feeling a little faint, shorty?”
“You act so much like him…” Pomni said in awe, her skin starting to feel as dry as her mouth. “Y-You-”
“Guess your brain has just really nailed me down.” She felt his faint touch again as the hallucination poked her right between the eyes. Still, it felt more like a memory than a real touch— more like she was remembering being poked. “But seriously, you should get up.”
Even thinking about walking felt like a herculean task. Her legs felt about as sturdy as cooked noodles and her body felt like it was burning from the inside. “Why are you trying to help me…?”
Jax chuckled to himself, tapping his feet together. “Y’know, typically, brains don’t like it very much when their body dies.” He shrugged his shoulders, grin so wide it almost seemed real. “And the real me probably doesn’t like a dead Pomni very much either. Do you know how long it takes for an avatar’s body to recover enough for you to respawn in?”
5.7 Hours… Gangle counted.
“Exactly!” Jax turned around and began walking away, getting smaller in the jester’s vision. “Get to stepping, kid.”
Pomni suddenly leapt onto her wobbly feet, her knees nearly giving out as she stumbled to the imaginary Jax, though he seemed so far away from how little he had walked. “Wait!” She called out. “How do you know that Jax wants me to be okay?”
A spark of joy lit at the thought. It went away when the hallucination turned around, his black eyes massive and staring dead into her with a fake grin. “Oh Pomni…” His body began to melt, the sun burning down its rays onto him. It made Pomni yelp, her gut twisting with fears and cramps. “That’s just what you believe.”
The voice rang inside her head, loud as a drum as the lavender goop in front of her reached out for her, a hand made of bone that glitched out and tried to grab her. Pomni wanted to run, oh she wanted to run so badly, but her legs could barely keep her upright, let alone sprint. She stumbled back, staring at the hand with unease.
The jester expected to find herself screaming, to be frozen in fear as the hand grabbed her shoulder, but the touch was gentle and cool. It was almost comforting. A heavy wave of dizziness hit her though, making the world tilt and spin around her.
Off in the distance, the harlequin could see something still in her shifting vision. The back of a blue dress and red hair between two large rocks. The doll turned around, giving the jester a happy smile. “Everything’s gonna be okay, new stuff!”
“I just have to ask, Pomni…” The jester heard Jax’s voice both everywhere and nowhere at once. The voice echoed in her head, not sounding any closer or further even as she stumbled towards Ragatha. “What makes you still think I care about you? And why do you even care about me?”
The sun started to beat down hotter, her skin feeling like ash laid out on the sand. Her heart was frantically beating, like it was working extra hard to keep her alive. Her vision began to narrow, the edges going black as the sand molded around her, forming into shapes of people she recognized all too well.
“He tried to make you think you were crazy.” She heard Kinger say gently, putting his soft hand on his shoulder despite being made of sand.
“He’s so scared of his own emotions. He can’t even show up to the funerals.” Zooble put their sandy hand on her head, every touch on her body a vague memory.
“He said he’d forget about you if he abstracted. Doesn’t that bother you?” Gangle whispered softly, taking her hand delicately.
The air grew hotter around her, her head pounding as each breath felt like it was burning her insides.
In front of her and the sandy version of her friends stood Jax. His figure was still blurry, but his back was turned. Pomni’s legs shook as fatigue tried to drag her to the floor, her head feeling lighter than air. “He’s still a person.” She said as steadily as she could. The hallucination’s grip tightened, but they couldn’t squeeze tight enough for it to hurt.
Then.. Jax turned around. His body was still blurry, but his face was fully in focus. One half of his face had the giant black eye and the unnaturally wide smile that he always held onto. But the other half…
It was black and spiky, full of eyes that flashed with new colors and spirals that looked around frantically for something they could never find. “I pushed that button for a reason, Pom. Do you still think I’m some misunderstood guy who needs his heart warmed?” His voice was icy cold, but it made Pomni’s body feel like it was on fire.
The doll finally came out from between the two rocks, walking straight through Jax as his figure vanished into thin air. The doll walked up to Pomni, the sand version of her friends melting away into the ground. The jester stumbled backwards, her vision tripling as the doll touched her cheeks gently, the vague feeling almost comforting.
“Do you think Jax is telling the truth?” Ragatha looked right into her eyes, soft as they could be. “Because he isn’t.”
Pomni suddenly panted out, her arms too weak to wipe off any remaining sweat that clung onto her neck. Her heart was frantic in her chest, too weak to keep up with her body. The heaviest wave of dizziness yet washed over her, her knees buckling.
“I-It’s… too hot…”
Her body finally flopped on the sand, too weak to move a muscle. The sun shone bright in the sky, keeping her burning in the blazing heat. A tranquility washed over her all at once, almost to an overwhelming degree. Her eyes forced themselves shut, the fatigue finally too strong to resist anymore. Her vision blackened all around her as she felt her eyes rolling back.
I hope the others are doing better than me at least.
.
…
……
………
………
Splash!
Pomni felt water spray on her face. It made her stir, but her muscles felt like they weighed hundreds of pounds. The most she could do was tighten her eyes and clench her teeth a bit. Her breaths felt heavy and hot, her body feeling like it was being baked alive.
Maybe I am? Wouldn’t put it past this world…
The jester suddenly felt water being held up to her mouth. She instantly drank, greedily chugging as hard as her weak body could handle. The water felt smooth against her dry and rough throat, the liquid cooling down her burning insides. She couldn’t resist a feeble whine once the water was taken away from her reach.
“Pomni? Are you there?”
“Oh… she’s burning up.”
“Splash and fan her again, maybe?”
“Hm… Oh, I figured it out! She has heat exhaustion!"
“What could have possibly led you to that conclusion, dumba($$)?”
Pomni couldn’t pinpoint which voice belonged to who, but she knew it was her friends. Or maybe… hallucinations?
She prayed it wasn’t the second one. The hand against her head and palm tapping her cheek felt pretty real though.
“She isn’t gonna make it, dollface. Just let her respawn.”
.
..
…
..
.
Fuck no.
Pomni, with what little strength she had, forced her eyes open. She groaned at seeing the blurred mess of her vision, her body barely able to move, but hey, her eyes were open.
She saw a figure with bright red curly hair above her, worrying filling her voice. “Oh my goodness, she’s awake! Pomni, can you hear me?”
“…huh…?”
The jester’s throat still felt dry and hot, every breath a puff of hot air. She felt like she was thinking in molasses, her brain slow and fuzzy. Her eyelids felt heavier than they had ever been and her head throbbed with migraine. Oh god, don’t die yet…
“...w-water…”
Even saying literally one word made Pomni feel like she was going to faint again. She groaned and she felt her eyes roll back again. She clinged onto consciousness and clenched her jaw, desperate to stay awake.
As the jester was losing that battle though, she felt more water splash on her face. It made her gasp slightly and open her eyes, seeing a blurry triangle head right above her and fanning her wet face. The slight coolness felt like a blessing. “We have to find shade like now. She’s not going to survive in the sun much longer.”
Pomni thought that voice was probably Zooble? It sounded deep and stoic… probably? She couldn’t really tell. The sun was still beating down as hard as it could and Pomni wondered how long she had been knocked out for.
“Look, we’re all gonna end up like her if we don’t move it.” That sounded like Jax— the voice was lazy and unbothered, but it did sound stressed out and agitated right now. “I’d say she’s deadweight, but if you wanna try and save the damsel, be my guest.”
The harlequin barely had any energy, most of it going to just keeping her eyes open, but she managed to lift her shaky arm enough and bend her fingers to make a very rude gesture. It was censored of course, but she gave Jax the most lethal look she could give at the moment.
Petty? Yes.
Regrets? No.
The middle finger was very hard to hold with how heavy the jester’s body felt, but she kept it. She could see the rabbit’s eyes widen as well as the others and Jax chuckled a bit. “Pfft, you’re stubborn.”
Then her arm gave up on her as it flopped onto her chest. Her pulse felt fast in her neck, like her blood vessels were trying to escape the furnace that was her body.
Pomni groaned as someone scooped her into their arms, her stomach cramping at the movement. Ragatha’s voice was soft against her nonexistent ears though, making her feel more at ease. “Maybe we could wet a towel and put it on her face? I don’t want her to get any worse…”
Gangle’s timid voice came up, the familiar voices comforting. “I don’t know… we don’t have that much water left, and Jax doesn’t look so good…”
“Uh- I’m fine!”
“Mhm…” Zooble muttered.
Pomni’s focus landed on the rabbit, and he did indeed look beat up. His cheeks were red, his fur matted with sweat, and he looked really tired. Well… not that the rest of the cast looked much better, he just looked even worse somehow.
Oh god, how do I look then?
“Uhm… it’ll be okay.” The doll said gently, holding Pomni a bit closer to her chest. “We’ll find shelter soon and cool off, alright?”
“Fine.”
“Shelter sounds nice…”
“Whatever.”
“Shelter? Is there a tornado?”
Pomni felt her eyes shutting again, the heat wrapping around her too tightly like an itchy blanket. Her pulse felt harsh in her neck and her chest hurt from the beating and her breathing. The world spun even though she couldn’t move and her throat burned with nausea. Her head exploded with migraine again as Ragatha shook her a bit, making her groan with discomfort.
“H-Hey, stay awake for me, Pom-Pom.” The jester forced her eyes to focus on the doll’s face which was creased with anxiety and worry. “You’ll be okay. Just stay with me for a bit longer.”
The small jester’s vision then doubled out of nowhere, making it hard to fully focus on Ragatha. Pomni blinked and moaned out a tiny response. “...ngh… mhm…” Her throat felt as dry as the desert around them as it scratched and ached, begging for water. The sky felt too bright, her heart felt like it was beating too hard.
“Just focus on me.” The rag doll offered. The jester could almost hear the smile in her voice… It was comforting. “Uhm, let’s see… O-One time, when I was twelve, I got kicked off a horse and had a bruise on my side for a week. Oh Jesus, I don’t even know what I did, but it must have been…”
Ragatha kept on retelling her childhood stories, mainly about horse shows she did when she was younger or the occasional getting thrown off a horse or two. Pomni was trying to listen, but she kept zoning out, only tuning back in when the doll directly tried to get her attention back. For now, Pomni was okay with hearing some random out of context shit.
“Then my mother said ‘you got an F here’ and then pointed to the gender bar where it said ‘female’...”
“No no, then she said ‘I love apples’, and then she threw a brick at me…”
“I can’t sit criss-cross applesauce but I can endanger 3 people’s lives with my knee…”
It was a bit of a distraction from the dripping sweat that kept pooling at Pomni’s neck and the throbbing headache that wanted to swallow her whole. Honestly, she barely even felt those anymore. Closing her eyes felt so peaceful now… like a perfect nap…
What was I even worried about again…?
Why is it so hot…?
I’m tired…
I’m…
.
…
………
Splash!
Pomni gasped, her eyes shooting wide open as her face was covered in water and a forced breeze came her way. Her heart suddenly felt like it wanted to explode from her ribcage again and her body felt trapped in an oven set way too high.
“She’s still fainting on us…”
“I keep telling you, she’s not gonna make it.”
“Well we can’t just leave her out here, Jax.”
“Is she alright?”
“Pomni, can you hear me?”
The jester vaguely saw a silhouette looming over her, then three more appeared. She took a shaky breath in, not enough oxygen filling her lungs. The air was too hot, her body felt too hot. She was panting, but she forced her mouth shut to lick her dry lips and gums. She swallowed, her throat feeling dry and sticky. She let out the tiniest cough, groaning as she felt too weak to move her arms.
“...w-water…”
“We don’t have any, Pomni.” Ragatha said gently, her voice wavering in and out. “We had to splash your face.”
The harlequin felt her chest burn with something else besides heat, it made her feel so angry. “...w-water!...”
“Pomni-”
“NO!”
The jester suddenly shot up and grabbed at a face. They yelped in surprise and grabbed her arm as she face-planted onto the floor. She thrashed around, her legs kicking up with the little strength she had left. “Water!” Her mind felt one tracked. She wanted water so badly. She needed it. Her throat was painfully dry, her mouth was horribly parched. She felt like she was kissing death on the lips. “WATER!”
Suddenly, another and much stronger hand pinned her down by the chest, holding her in place. Pomni gave up almost instantly, the strength she had left inside of her dispersing quickly. She sighed in defeat, her eyes opening a bit to see the figures above her with faces full of anxiety. Her pulse came to a painful halt, slowing down dramatically. She groaned as the world spun unnaturally, making her stomach clench.
Feeling her lack of struggle, the hand suddenly let go of her chest and cradled her head, Pomni felt a weak whimper escape her throat as finger pressed up tightly against her neck, her pulse so harsh she flinched when she felt it slowly beat throughout her body.
The fingers came off as quickly as they pushed on her neck, the voice filled with panic as it sounded quieter to Pomni’s ears. “She’s stroking, she's having a heat stroke! Give me the med kit!”
The voice was hard to pinpoint through the panic that tainted it, but it sounded weirdly lazy?
Pomni felt her head get dropped as it bounced on the floor. She didn’t even have the strength to groan, she felt so weak. Every muscle in her body felt like it had been weighed down by hundreds of pounds while her head floated lighter than the clouds in the sky. The air around her body felt like it could catch fire if any sparks were ignited in it. Her heart in her chest started to slow down. It felt like it was giving up on so desperately trying to keep her alive.
Hands were on her body, but she didn’t know where. All she knew was heat: burning and fiery. It made her body feel like it was melting. It made her body cramp too tightly to be unwound. It made her feel too weak to suck in another breath. She couldn’t tell if the burning in her chest was from the lack of oxygen or the air trying to burn her throat.
Fingers pried one of her eyelids open, but her eye rolled back. Blackness surrounded her, and it felt weirdly cool and gentle. She felt like her body was floating, the voices she heard getting further away with each call.
“I warned all of you! Did you listen to me? NO!”
“Where’s the damn med kit?!”
“There’s nothing inside of it!”
“Oh god, OH GOD!”
“I am NOT letting a stupid f(&$@)ing heat stroke kill her!
Then it all molded into nonsense. Just a bunch of words being thrown around as noise inside her brain. The dizziness felt like a flood, slowly taking over her brain as she felt her heart give one last single beat. She had seconds left, so she opened her mouth, wanting to say anything, literally anything. Instead, she let out a tiny squeak and-
.
…
………
……………………
…
“Pomni…”
“Huh?”
Everything around the jester was pitch black, the air was comfortably cool and damp, but she didn’t feel any relief. It was like she had been sitting in this cold room for hours.
“Pomni…”
She gasped, her body sitting up. Her body was submerged in water, but she didn’t feel wet. A wave of tranquility forcibly washed over her, making her eyes want to droop.
Why is it so dark?
The jester’s eyes shut and she was tempted to lie back down in the water and fall asleep again, but the voice called out once more.
“Pomni…”
She groaned in mild frustration, her eyes tiredly opening as she stood up to turn around. Her legs shook slightly, but she locked them so she wouldn’t sway.
“Who’s there-”
Pomni was cut off by her own surprise.
A green and yellow crocodile stood in front of her, his legs knee deep in the water. His eyes looked calm, peaceful. His face didn’t hold the pain the jester knew it once had.
“Gummigoo…?”
Tears flooded her eyes and she choked on her own words. She swallowed as her throat tightened up and she fought against bursting into sobs. The jester sniffled, slowly shuffling to the gator. “H-Hi.”
“Hey, mate.” He responded back.
Does he remember?
“I do.”
Pomni’s eyes widened in surprise. Did she say that last part out loud or not? She stood still, sniffling in place. The grief hit hard, but the happiness of seeing Gummigoo hit harder.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you…” The harlequin whispered, remembering the confetti gently landing on the floor.
“Don’t worry about it, Sheila.” He responded, gently grabbing her hand and wiping away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. “I’m free now… and you can be too.”
.
..
…
Free?
“Yes, Pom— Free.”
It sounded too good to be true, so Pomni prayed it was true.
Free from the pain of the circus. Free from the pain of knowing her outside family and friends believed she had disappeared without a trace and the guilt of their mourning. Free from the pain of knowing the people around her would abstract and be left to rot in the basement. Free from the pain of her agony and suffering being played off for laughs like a cartoon. Free from the pain of questioning if she even mattered.
She could be free.
But…
She shook her head, opened her eyes a bit. She hadn’t even realized they closed. “What about my friends?”
“Hm?” Gummigoo responded quietly.
“My friends.” Pomni repeated. “What about them?”
“The other circus members?”
“Yeah.”
The gator shrugged as if he hadn’t put too much thought into it. He gently gripped the jester’s hand, his eyes reassuring. “They’ll join you eventually. Everyone will.”
Eventually?
Pomni looked behind Gummigoo a bit, looking at what awaited her. Along with the blackness, multicolored eyes were sparkled throughout. The jester gasped, but the eyes didn’t invoke the fear and panic they once did when she saw them her first day. Still though, they felt like… the end of a chapter.
“But…” Pomni started. The words died on her tongue.
“You can let go and leave the circus behind, Pomni.” The gator stroked her cheek, his smile gentle. “You won’t have to live in fear or pain or guilt ever again. You won’t have to feel grief or anger anymore. You can leave behind everything you resent.” The promise felt like a siren call, the eyes were glowing brighter behind Gummigoo.
“We won’t have to leave each other ever again. J̶̧͖͚̭̣̼͎̥̲͔̠̙̞̻̻̪͔̐̀̀̂̅̄͆̈́͋͛̈́̊̚͠ͅu̷̘̖̓̊͑̿̍͂͒̅̎̂̍͋̓͗͑̕̚̕s̵̨͉̱̬̤͓̪͚̞̫̲̃̓̈́̎̀̐̿͊́̎̔͑̒͌̕̚̕̕ͅţ̸̰͈̰͛̈́̿̔̎̍̋̃̀̂̿͐̔̑́̕͝͝ͅͅͅ ̸̡̡̛͍̦͉̖̯̼̪̜̱̎́̋̏̎̎̏̆̂ͅj̷̢̧̦͉͇͇̝̥͇͓̤̹͎̠͔͉̑͒̌̆͋̍̌͆̌͐̒͘͠͠͝ô̷̩̫̬̖̕ḯ̶̡̠̦͉̞̩͔̬̲͍̃̏̐͂́̐͛̄͒̋͑̚ͅn̷̟̞̞̝͈̫͓̲͖͔͍̪̭̞̍̈́̎̆̉̍̂̑̈͘ ̶̛̺̉̈́̌̀̈́̊̍̂͝͝u̵̢̧͓̦̣̙̹͔̻̯̘͓̟͔̬̪̔́̂͛̆͐͐̈́̈́̏͛͑̐͋̐̈̕͜͜͠s̷̪̰̬͖̺͓͓̘̒͒͒̊.̴̛̳̺̪̗̟͔̟̲̈́̈́͒́̈́̈͒̅͆̀͘̕͘͝”
Join…
Us…
.
..
…
..
.
“I-I can’t.” Pomni whispered.
The gator’s eyes widened as he backed away slightly, caught off guard. He opened his mouth slightly, but the jester stood her ground. “I still have a place at the circus. I’m not ready to go yet.”
“But your life…” Gummigoo replied gently, his voice still as calm as it was before. “You know it’s going to end like this.”
Pomni smiled a bit, taking Gummigoo’s hand, remembering the cool colors beneath the map. “You taught me something I never really understood before.” Her throat felt a little choked, but she kept her smile. “You helped me realize that meaning can be found in a stagnant life. I still need to find my meaning in this world, even if it seems pointless sometimes.”
The gator smiled, his hand gently patting the top of her head. He let out a tiny chuckle, the eyes glowing duller behind him. “You’re a stubborn one, mate.” He let go and stepped backwards, his body getting darker in the shadows. “Just don’t keep me waiting for too long, alright?”
Pomni felt her lip wobble a bit as she stepped towards Gummigoo. Her hand reached out, her eyes wide. “Wait, Gummigoo, I never got to ask about your-”
The darkness suddenly turned white, her eyes completely blinded from the light.
“Gummigoo?!”
.
…
………
COUGH COUGH!
Pomni was suddenly hit with an overwhelming amount of coolness and heat washing over her body. Her heart felt like it had jumpstarted back to life and she sucked in gasps like she had never breathed before. She grabbed at the sheets beneath her, her body flinging itself upright. Her vision was flooded with a blur of colors as she opened her eyes, her head pounding with migraine.
She flopped back onto whatever she was laying on— a bed probably— and took a moment for her eyes to adjust. She groaned as she felt a wet towel being slapped on her forehead, though the damp coolness was a nice welcome.
“Oh good, you’re awake!”
“Is she doing alright?”
“I hope Caine doesn’t send us on another adventure like that… that was awful.”
“Oh yes, awful. Awful… awful. Awful, awful, awful? Doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.”
“Yo, sleeping ugly!”
Pomni let out a grunt as Jax lifted her chin up. She shoved his arm out of the way and settled back into the pillows. She looked around her slowly.
Where’s Gummigoo…?
She felt the uncomfortable sensation of a needle inside her arm and she looked down to see an IV line stuck in her wrist. Did she even technically need that? Her head pounded with a fierce headache as she rubbed her temples. Around her was a hospital room with curtains next to her to separate the patients and medical equipment placed messily everywhere. She never understood why Caine insisted on shoving them in this room after every respawn. Oh, for realism! Well, she was a cartoon jester made of rubber, so that ship sailed forever ago.
“Jesus Christ… what happened…?”
Jax shrugged, his eyes wide and his grin larger than ever. “Couldn’t take a little heat and died.”
Pomni rolled her eyes, annoyed. The beeping of the heart monitor next to her felt like it was just there to put her on edge. Why did she even have a heart anyways? It’s not like she actually needed oxygen and blood to survive. It beat in her chest uncomfortably— too hard and too slow.
“How are you doing, honey?” Ragatha asked, her voice gentle and sweet. It was like hot tea with a sore throat to Pomni’s ears. “Do you need anything?”
Pomni gently sighed, trying to move around her heavy limbs to try and get somewhat comfortable. “No…” Her teeth grit together, chills running down her spine as she remembered the last few moments before her consciousness cut. “I hate respawning…” The overwhelming heat, the horrible thirst, the painful cramps, the uneven pulse… Why is Caine realistic on the awful parts?
“Hey…” Zooble said quietly, just enough to grab her attention. Pomni didn’t move, just looked up to see the bundle of shapes’s calculating gaze. “Are you alright?”
The jester nodded, her brain replaying her death a stupid amount of times. “Yeah, I just need some space.” She hoped the quiet would soothe her nagging brain. She felt so uncomfortable in her own body.
“Welp, you heard her.” The mismatched shapes said, pushing themself out of their chair and heading towards the door. Gangle hesitantly followed, her eyes darting back to Pomni after every step. “We’ll come back in an hour.”
Gangle stiffly nodded her head, her hands tapping together gently. “Y-Yeah. I’ll bring you back a sandwich if you want.”
Ragatha looked down at Pomni for a second, her eyes silently trying to confirm whatever was roaming around in her brain. The jester just gave a small nod of her head and that was enough for the doll to let out a soft sigh before heading towards the door while tugging along Kinger’s hand. “Call us if you need anything.”
“Yeah, I will.” Pomni responded.
But before leaving, Kinger turned around quickly as he pointed at the small harlequin. “What types of pillows do you prefer?”
“Uhh…” She thought about it for a minute— every bit of her limited pillow knowledge instantly deleted itself from her brain. “Normal?”
The chess piece nodded, satisfied. “Good ol’ polyester— can never go wrong with the classic. Always a budget friendly one, you.” He walked out the door with the doll behind him.
The rabbit stared at everyone leaving, letting Ragatha and Kinger leave before he got out of his chair. “Welp, I’m bored.” He put his hands behind his head and gave a wide smile and wink before he started walking away. “I’d say it was a pleasure, but it wasn’t.”
“Wait.” Pomni said suddenly. It made Jax freeze as he gave her a blank glance. Her lip tightened as she tried to put her feelings into words, her fists clenching slightly. “I want you to stay.” She felt her gut twist slightly as she imagined the jackrabbit just leaving despite her wishes otherwise. Though he turned around, his eyebrow lifted in confusion.
“Me?” Jax repeated.
“Yeah.” Pomni responded.
The rabbit froze for a second before he rolled his eyes, shutting the door behind him and grabbing a chair that was resting against a wall. “I already told you, short stack…” He threw the chair next to the jester’s bed. She flinched as it clattered loudly. “Stop trying to ‘fix me’. You’ve read too many books. I couldn’t give less of a damn about any of this bullsh(&^).”
Pomni huffed, frustration eating away at her again as she attempted to keep herself calm. “So then why did you stay?”
The rabbit scoffed, his teeth visibly clenching together forcefully. “Because you told me to, idiot.” He sighed, his face shifting back to a wide grin again. “Does heat stroke come with a side of memory loss or something?” He poked at her forehead, making her flinch away.
“Right…” The jester said, disappointment apparent in her voice.
.
..
…
The two sat in silence for a while. It settled Pomni’s migraine— it no longer pounded like a sledge hammer against a stubborn nail. She sighed as her eyes glanced over at the rabbit. It hadn’t been a very easy few days. “Jax… Uhm…”
He huffed again, his eyes looking bored. “Spit it out, shorty.”
“I have something to say.” She cringed at herself but forced her eyes to meet his. His face stayed steady, though her hands were so tightly fisted they began to cramp.
“Still waiting.” He sing-songed, barely listening.
“I-I’m sorry.”
…
Jax’s ears pricked up, his entire body shifted as his eyes shrunk and his body leaned forward. “What? Sorry for what?” His face seemed filled with confusion. Pomni didn’t mean to catch him so off guard.
“I’m uh…” She started. Her words felt like they were slipping away, but she managed to latch onto them. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was blaming you for people abstracting. That wasn’t what I was trying to do.” She looked down, unable to bear the awkward eye contact. “I should have worded what I said better. I wasn’t trying to offend you.”
…
The rabbit’s ears flattened against his head and she could hear his foot thumping slightly. He took a sharp inhale and the thumping stopped. He stood up, shoving the chair away with unnecessary force. “Yeah, well… it doesn’t matter anymore. Just forget it.”
Pomni nodded, her eyes flickering to Jax’s face, then her own hands which were curled up in a ball. “Okay.”
.
..
…
..
.
The silence was nearly deafening, only broken by the ambient noise of the heart monitor and AC unit blasting as cold as it could go. Jax thumped his fingers against the railing of Pomni’s bed, his eyes glancing at her face. “Do you like… want water or something?”
The jester nodded, a smile creeping onto her face a little. “Water sounds nice.”
He pushed himself slightly off the railing of the bed, striding across the room to pick up a cup from the water cooler and filling it up. He brought it back to her and the jester greedily gulped the whole thing down in one sip. Her throat was still painfully parched, and it felt soothing against it. “Thanks.”
“Uh-huh…”
The two plunged into silence again, but it was almost nice. Pomni leaned back against her bed again, watching as Jax stared off into nothing. She licked her lips, biting the inside of her cheek a bit. Her sigh finally broke the silence, words spilling out of her mouth. “Could you stay?”
The rabbit looked at her slowly, his eyes still wide, but his mouth was a small frown. He shrugged, his foot thumping slowly on the floor. “Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.”
Pomni gave him a small smile, her shoulders loosening up. She looked up at the AC unit, watching as it turned off and closed up. It was weirdly realistic. “Thank you.”
The rabbit grinned again, though it didn’t get quite as large as it usually did. “Don’t mention it.” Then it dropped again, his voice dead-pan. “Seriously.”
“I won’t.” The jester said, her smile slowly shifting to a grin. “Wouldn’t want the other to know that you dared bring me water.”
Jax chuckled a bit, though he didn’t meet her eyes. “Agh, shut up.”
Pomni’s eyes lifted towards the ceiling as she took a long and slow inhale, her lungs filling with air. She closed her eyes, her brain quiet with one thought.
I forgive you too, Jax.
She exhaled. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jax fidgeting around with the cuff of his glove, tugging at it and roughing it up.
Because I know you care.
The two’s eyes met for just a second, then they both glanced away. Pomni could feel sweat beads forming against her forehead. She sighed, her eyes closing gently.
And I care about you too.