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Deer diary,
I seem to have acquired like 5 children lol. I think I am too young to be a dad. I am only like a level 9 adult. Send help.
Love,
Shiro
PS real talk like i still can’t do my taxes alone lol rip
PPS. what if being in space like messes with their bladders and we have to potty train again. Where would i get diapers. Do they even sell diapers in space.
PPPS. oh no what if they get a space cold and theres no space pharmacies that sell space nyquil
PPPPS. WILL ANY OF THEM NEED SPACE TAMPONS??? I DONt KNOW AND IDK WEHERE TO GET THEM
PPPPPS. :(
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Deer dairyyeary,
2day i had to put keith in time out for stabbing lance with a spoon.
To be fair, lance should know that keith is not a morning person and that hes v overprotective of his cereal
I knew going into this job that parenting would be hard at times. Wikihow said being strict is necessary sometimes and that all the troubles will be worth it in the end.
Fml tho because now he’s ignoring me
:(,
Shiro
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Dear Dairy,
The kids were talking about what they miss most from Earth. Lance said his HAM (home), Hunk said food… Pidge said her family. Keith was silent bc hes tryin to be cool or some shit lol i see thru that .
But no one asked me what I missed the most tho.
I miss the memes, man.
Speaking of,,, I MISSED OUT ON AN ENTIRE YEAR OF MEMES. And are any of my children offering to catch me up??? No :(((((
#dickoutforharambe,
Takashiro-kun
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Dear dirarry,
I can’t believe keith is a fuckign furry
I need a drink. Or twelve,
Shir
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Dear diarrhea,
Guess what i have.
Fucking space food. (pidge is yelling “watch ur goddamn language” in the background)
…...shit (haha get it)
-urs from the john,
Shiro
PS. i am realizing now that the wording is unclear. Yes, i have fucking space food, but i also have diarrhea, given to me by said space food
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Dear daria,
There arent any cartoon broadcasts in space
Where tf are my teen titans reruns. My saturday morning ritual is ruined.
>:(
Faithfully urs,
Shi-yoyo
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Dear Dalia,
The kids keep insisting I read them bedtime stories and tuck them in. They’re starting to accept me as their space dad. I’m so happy.
Unfortunately, they did not seem to appreciate my retelling of My Immortal. Fuckin preps.
Always and forever xx,
Shiro
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LOG DATE 09/25/XX
SHIRO IS A NERD PASS IT ON
BUSH DID PEARL HARBOR RAMEN NOODLES CAN’T JET MELT BEAMS
BRITISH IMPERIALISM WAS AN INSIDE JOB
-PIDGE
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;),
whaaat omg nobody told me shiro kept a diary??? Man wtf. What tee fuh. I want a dad refund?? Petition to elect allura as new and improved space dad bc obvs this one is faulty, keeping secrets nd shit. U dont keep secrets from family
:’(,
DJ Lancelot
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Dear Shiro,
I love u dad
Luvvv,
Hunk
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Dear dairy queen,
All of my children are grounded.
Urz,
S
PS. I may or may not have copied that drawing and framed it. It’s in my room.
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Shiro,
What the hell. I didn’t have anything to do with this.
Keith
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Dear diary…
I just walked in on lance
He was uhm
……… making out w his hand. ?????
I saw black hair so i think he was pretending it was keith.
I might have to give him the talk.
:\,
Shiroom
PS. nvm it was keith. lmao i forgot to put in my contacts, whoops
PPS. shit this means i have to give both of them the talk
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Update on the Talk: they did not appreciate the diagrams and pamphlets i painstakingly made :(