Chapter Text
June 2017
…
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
asking for a friend is it still ethical to read the scott/shane calder trophy daddy kink fic
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
babe…
margo @shanebortion
it’s been long enough that i can speak my truth: scott hunter is gay asf bc straw+berry smoothies are ass
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
it’s been ten minutes but you’re right
July
yejin @anticottagecore
my favourite customer this summer is the guy who clearly fucking hates the jeep he drives. literally apologizes for his ugly car every time he’s in here. dude i dont care abt your normal ass car!!! but he’s hot and kind of funny sooo 🙈
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
i cant believe youre in muskoka all fucking summer why do u hate meeeeee 💔
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Taking questions for the #NeutralZonePod today! Use the hashtag or reply below to submit.
↳ ash 🗽| admirals cup!! @scotthunty
Do you think the Admirals can go back to back?
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
will the cens fire the gm? please say yes and please say soon
The Neutral Zone S02E03: Q and A, 00:00
Tyler Kudirka: Hello everyone! Welcome back to The Neutral Zone podcast with NHL Insider Denis Alderman. I’m your host, Tyler Kudirka. Today, we’re taking listener questions! We’ll be talking signings, we’re talking trades, we’re talking offer sheets, we’re talking draft reflections, we’re on it all. But we’re starting somewhere silly because it’s the summer! It’s mid-July, the news is slowing down, and it’s time for celebrity gossip, Denis.
Denis Alderman: Oh no. We’ve not had enough of that this season?
Tyler Kudirka: It’s never ending, Denis. Although this one, I admit, is a few steps backward. From Twitter user Celeste, at celestielle, will Shane Hollander request a trade to LA for his girlfriend Rose Landry, or are the breakup rumours true?
Denis Alderman: [laughing] Wow. That’s a question. Well, first, I can’t speak to Hollander’s personal life, nor would I even if I did know. But, to the trade question, I've heard absolutely nothing to indicate that Hollander is looking to move, not to LA, Anaheim, San Francisco, or anywhere else.
Tyler Kudirka: Might’ve tipped the scales for LA in the finals last month, eh?
Denis Alderman: Hah. Maybe so. It was hard to argue with Hunter the back half of this year, and it's all a moot point given that Hollander ended the season on LTIR.
Tyler Kudirka: Any word on that, by the way?
Denis Alderman: Oh! You know, I’ve not inquired specifically about Hollander in a while. I believe the Voyageurs were expecting him at camp in perfect health come September, and things were progressing as expected back in April.
Tyler Kudirka: Well sure, we’ll take that. Hopefully he gets to enjoy some of his summer. Okay, next question, from Twitter user Brian Walsh, at bostonbrian: What does the next Rozanov contract look like?
Denis Alderman: Now this is an interesting question. First thing to note is that Rozanov can sign an extension at any time now, as of July 1st.
Tyler Kudirka: That's true! If he wants to stay with the Bears, that is. He could wait it out for free agency.
Denis Alderman: He could. I'm not hearing a lot there just yet, but it's still early days. I haven’t heard any concerns about him extending from Boston, but team loyalty doesn’t always mean as much to non-North American players.
Tyler Kudirka: Not sure that’s fair, but I guess he doesn’t have a boyhood team here the way, say, Hollander does.
Denis Alderman: Right. Suffice to say, the Bears have instigated the conversation, but it’s the summer, Rozanov usually spends a good chunk of the off season in Russia, and they figure this is a conversation they can easily pick up come September.
Tyler Kudirka: Any idea about the price tag? It’s gotta be a big one, you’d think.
Denis Alderman: I think we probably get into the double digits here. And, look, I think the money is also dependent on where he’s going. The Bears are in win now mode, they probably appreciate a little more flexibility. If Rozanov wants another cup in Boston, maybe he takes, you know, 9.5 rather than the 12 million or so he could get somewhere else.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s a big price difference.
Denis Alderman: Sure, but I think the only teams in a position to be offering him 12 would be rebuilding teams like Buffalo or Columbus. And I don’t see Roz taking that kind of swing.
Tyler Kudirka: No, no, that’s a guy who likes to be competitive. So it comes down to weighing a situation he knows and likes in Boston, versus potentially more money with an up-and-coming team, or even more with a crummy team.
Denis Alderman: Pretty much. And, depending on the offer, maybe he decides he could be the thing that turns a decent team into a good team. But I think, more likely, he stays with the Bears. I don’t really see a reason not to, and I don’t think the Bears do either.
Tyler Kudirka: That all makes sense to me. Okay, next question…
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
The market would never forgive Rozanov if he left for money.
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
rozanov moving to buffalo to boost his sports car budget would be so fucking funny
laurie @hollypike
hollandry lowkey killed the sh*yden tag… meanwhile h*llanov is thriving those mfers are like cockroaches
↳ margo @shanebortion
i feel like we’re not giving hayden’s 4th kid enough credit
jock strapped @shilya
girl h*llanov literally had their biggest moment at the asg this yr of course we’re thriving
Quote Retweet:
laurie @hollypike
hollandry lowkey killed the sh*yden tag… meanwhile h*llanov is thriving those mfers are like cockroaches
↳ xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
oomf doesnt know abt the time shane was seen outside the bears hotel in 2012
gay jess @pikesbian
it’s fine if the sh/ayden tag dies bc the hollapike polycule is gonna make a huge comeback this year
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
is it a comeback if it’s never been anything
gay jess @pikesbian
“the hollapike polycule isnt real, it cant hurt you” and meanwhile shane went to cabo with just hayden and jackie last summer…. they shared a villa…
↳ di 🦌 @shanedoe
beloved jj was definitely on the trip did u see his summer photo dump
↳ laurie @hollypike
@shanedoe babe he was in santorini <3
↳ margo @shanebortion
in santorini with a marg and a caption about fish tacos right…
gay jess @pikesbian
if we call it the voyageurs polycule there’s room for jj 😌
yejin @anticottagecore
turns out my jeep guy is like a kind of famous hockey player… not to me, to me he is the flirty but fundamentally unattainable guy who hates his jeep
yejin @anticottagecore
anyone else getting kind of a bisexual vibe
August
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hearing that Ilya Rozanov has switched agents. He’s now represented by Farah Jalali. Jalali’s other clients include Bears teammates Connors and Carmichael.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
…is anyone else scared he might not extend with boston?
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
@marlyroz nah it’s honestly probably a good sign. he’s moving more of his life to north america/boston bc he’s getting serious with his gf here. i don’t think he went home to russia this year either.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
@carmichaels he has a gf?
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
@marlyroz yeah! he and svetlana vetrova have been together since ~2014. they keep it pretty quiet but with his father passing i think he’s probably going to be in boston more 💗
ezra @rozanot
there’s no way this is true bc i know like three different people who hooked up with that man in 2016 alone
Quote Retweet:
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
@marlyroz yeah! he and svetlana vetrova have been together since ~2014. they keep it pretty quiet but with his father passing i think he’s probably going to be in boston more 💗
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
all hockey players cheat on the road this means nothing…
↳ ezra @rozanot
i live in boston
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
well! 🥴
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
“he’s going to be in boston more” and meanwhile sv*tlana’s literally in russia rn…
↳ jock strapped @shilya
LITERALLYYY like cmon her insta is public. at least pay attention if youre gonna make gf allegations
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
isn’t farah jalali shane’s agent…. hmmmmmmmmm!
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
2+2=5
ilya’s thong @achilles81
theyre cancelling roz for cheating and he’s not even dating this girl officially….
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
no it’s crazy like i do kind of think they’re together now bc i havent seen him at the club in MONTHS but like it has Not been since 2014
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
like every girl i know who was in the boston club scene circa 2012-2015 has been hit on by roz… ik players cheat but not even roz is that obvious
Mandy @mandyskates
oh so he harasses women
Quote Retweet:
★pri★ @bostonroz
like every girl i know who was in the boston club scene circa 2012-2015 has been hit on by roz… ik players cheat but not even roz is that obvious
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
I LITERALLY DIDN’T SAY THAT
★pri★ @bostonroz
roz is like. he’s just sexy and flirty and fun with everyone! and also if you’ve ever had him flirt with you… you would let him hit
★pri★ @bostonroz
i can hear you saying nooo he’s not my type. wrong. that man stands in front of you and he becomes your type
★pri★ @bostonroz
also im not saying he sleeps with everyone he flirts with oh my godddddd. just that we all want him okay???? Okay???? boston club scene menace ONLY in the sense that he flirts without follow through. he’s literally just charming
★pri★ @bostonroz
actually also i have to take the original tweet back. he’s never flirted with any of my lesbian friends…. why’s his gaydar kind of good
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
ethical slut with good gaydar ilya rozanov is just not what i thought i was logging into twitter for today
vic hates hockey @censeless
….people saying r*zanov is dating a girl in boston and meanwhile my irl sold him ginger ale and condoms in muskoka last week
vic hates hockey @censeless
wait didnt he unfollow like thirty instagram models in june…. there’s math here that is mathing
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Today’s #NeutralZonePod: The Lemaire captaincy, the off-season injury report, and a mid-podcast trade!
The Neutral Zone S02E10: Dillon, 37:29
Tyler Kudirka: …I just have a feeling the Nomads are going to turn it around this year.
Denis Alderman: It’s been– Oh. You know what, Tyler, we’re going to have to pause the recording for just a second. I’m getting word of a trade.
Tyler Kudirka: Ooh, live on the air. And by live on the air, I mean, obviously, prerecorded in our studio. We’ll take a pause and be right back, you won’t even know we were gone.
Tyler Kudirka: And we’re back, the tweets are sent, the details are in, Denis, let’s talk about it: the Centaurs are at it again.
Denis Alderman: Yeah, that’s sure one way to put it.
Tyler Kudirka: The Ottawa Centaurs acquire Tanner Dillon from Los Angeles for their former captain Brent Watson and a 2018 3rd. Where did this move come from, Denis?
Denis Alderman: I’m asking the same question, Tyler. I guess the Centaurs saw something they liked about Dillon in the Finals.
Tyler Kudirka: He played some important minutes.
Denis Alderman: Emphasis on some. But, you know, Los Angeles are a good young team. I guess they figure they could use a heavier veteran defenseman, which they’re getting in Watson. And a guy like Dillon, maybe he just needs the opportunity to play top line minutes.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah, man, looking at the Ottawa line up, he’ll not lack for opportunity. Do you think they’ll try him at center?
Denis Alderman: They might. That’s pretty obviously the big gap for the Centaurs. Dillon was drafted as a winger, I’m not sure if he has experience at center, but I guess they didn’t feel there was a tried and true center available at their price point.
Tyler Kudirka: The thing is, I think this is an overpay.
Denis Alderman: For Dillon? Maybe. I think it’ll be hard to make that call before we see him play for them.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure. I like this move from LA’s perspective, though.
Denis Alderman: Oh, certainly. Watson’s a better fit for their cup window. And they got pushed around a bit in the final, and Watson makes them tougher, gives them options defensively…
vic hates hockey @censeless
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE GAVE UP PICKS AND OUR FUCKING CAPTAIN FOR TANNER FUCKING DILLON????????
vic hates hockey @censeless
i hate this team i hate this team i hate this team
cens sicko @bywardbood
maybe tanner dillon will be good for us 🥴
Cens Watch ☑️ @CensWatch
Tanner Dillon is a 25-year-old right winger. He has a career 104pts (49G 55A) in 301 games for Los Angeles. Dillon put up 4 points in 21 playoff games this year.
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
it’s literally so over
vic hates hockey @censeless
obviously watter deserves the chance to win a cup but FUCKKKKKK
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Alluded to this on the pod, but this is a puzzling trade for the Cens. Obviously they need to get younger, but prioritising getting better now rather than investing in the future seems like the wrong approach when trading a franchise guy like Watson.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
It’s obviously hard to know for sure, but you’d think they could’ve gotten a good haul of picks and prospects if they'd waited till the deadline. Teams are always looking to shore up defense in Feb.
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
people wonder how i became a hollanov fan in ottawa and the answer is that if i spent all my time thinking about the cens i’d have to increase my wellbutrin prescription
September
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
desperately want hollandry to make some noise… hollandry we miss youuuuuuuuu
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
i gotta be honest guys i think hollandry broke up
↳ hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
just bc they’re quiet doesn’t mean they broke up! shane is a very private person (this is his first public relationship), they’ve probably spent the off-season spending time together in more private settings outside of montreal!
↳ kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
rose has been sooo active on insta and yet she hasn’t posted shane since literally january
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
we have to let hollandry die guys they never even confirmed that they were dating WHY would they confirm a break up 😭
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
everytime h*llandry comes up i think about the time shane got cancelled on tumblr for being bad at making women cum
↳ jock strapped @shilya
HEY WHAT
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
yeah 😭😭 basically in like 2011/12 someone submitted an anonymous ask to a gossip blog saying that their friend hooked up with him and he gave really bad head
↳ jock strapped @shilya
but i’m the bad guy if i call him gay… right….
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
ROSE WE’RE GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THERE WE’RE GONNA GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND
Quote Retweet:
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
everytime h*llandry comes up i think about the time shane got cancelled on tumblr for being bad at making women cum
di 🦌 @shanedoe
thank god the preseason is starting bc the people are bringing back shane cant eat pussy discourse
ilya’s thong @achilles81
ilya “canonical ass eater” rozanov vs. shane “cant eat pussy” hollander… i know my goat
↳ ezra @rozanot
what the actual fuck do you mean by canonical ass eater
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
sdkfjsdlkfj just one of roz’s ex hookups like three yrs ago tagged him on her insta and said “you can unfollow me but you can’t uneat my ass”
↳ ezra @rozanot
!!!! good for him i guess????
The Neutral Zone S02E13: Bag Skate, 54:25
Tyler Kudirka: Real quick before we go, any news on the Rozanov contract yet?
Denis Alderman: None at all. But his agent, Farah Jalali, already has a good working relationship with the Bears. I wouldn’t worry.
Tyler Kudirka: Okay. That’s what we’ve got for now, then. I’d like to thank our sponsors…
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov when I asked what he got up to this summer: “Ugh, I trained so hard, Julia. Ate terrible bird food. Took up bird watching also, I do not recommend it. No, Julia, I am very relaxed, very healthy. It will be a good season.”
↳ ˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
trying and struggling to imagine roz bird watching 😭
October
The Neutral Zone S02E17: Opening Night, 03:37
Tyler Kudirka: Well, the season is off to a bang, Denis.
Denis Alderman: It sure is, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: You know, I wondered if Hollander would be a little slow to start after having his postseason and summer disrupted, but I think it’s safe to say he’s in fine form.
Denis Alderman: Five points in the season opener is quite a statement.
Tyler Kudirka: And yet every time I think we’ve found the winner of the Hollander-Rozanov debate, Rozanov always finds a way to answer.
Denis Alderman: He really does! Starting the season with a hat trick, leading the league in goals while Hollander leads in points…
Tyler Kudirka: They’re pretty remarkable.
Denis Alderman: It's going to be a fun season here, Tyler.
Tyler Kudirka: For those of us watching, certainly. For the Ottawa Centaurs on the other hand…
Denis Alderman: Yeah, a tough start. Losing 7-0 is not how you want to set the tone for the season, even if it’s against an excellent team like Montreal.
Tyler Kudirka: Maybe it’s too early for this, Denis, but I’m not sure the whole Dillon-at-center thing is going to work.
Denis Alderman: Yeah, I don’t think I’d have much more patience for that experiment.
Tyler Kudirka: Right? God, the Centaurs are in a tough spot though, because who’s replacing him at center? Jorgenson? Surely at some point, we’d like to see Zane Boodram play to his full potential. If you put Boodram on, I dunno, Rozanov’s left wing, he’d probably put up 80 points a season.
Denis Alderman: With Rozanov, could hit a hundred.
Tyler Kudirka: Exactly. Look, we know a rebuild takes time. But this one’s been going for, what, seven years? At some point, guys are going to start thinking about greener pastures.
Denis Alderman: Sure. And I do think patience is beginning to wear thin in the Centaurs organization. But it’s opening night, there will be time for this conversation another 81 times before the season is through.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s true. Okay. Alright, then let’s move over to a happier team. Last night the New York Admirals raised their fifth banner in Madison Square Garden, the first in twenty-three years.
Denis Alderman: Yes, you know they’re excited to have something of pride to hang in MSG again.
Tyler Kudirka: Proud night for hockey in New York City in more ways than one.
Denis Alderman: That’s—ha! I walked right into that. Yes, yeah, all kinds of pride. Congratulations again to the New York Admirals.
cens sicko @bywardbood
if bood leaves i will report the cens to csis as a terrorist organization
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
[lying] i didnt think dilly was THAT bad at center…
Montréal Voyageurs ☑️ @VoyageursMTL
Touching down in the City of Angels for our first road trip of the season!
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
shane and rose finally confirmed to be in the same city again… hollandry breathe challenge about to be passed with flying colours!
laurie @hollypike
i am calm i am normal the actions of celebrities have no impact on me
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
Shane and Rose spotted getting coffee after Voyageurs practice today!
↳ Mandy @mandyskates
Love them!
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
okay so maybe i was wrong about the breakup…
laurie @hollypike
GIRL FUCKING WHATEVERRRRRRRRR
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
what and now two gay people can’t get coffee together? they have to be fucking?
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
Rose is at Shane’s game tonight! Fans have spotted her in the lower bowl. Sounds like no jersey this time but she has a Voyageurs hat 🤗😍
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
shane give me one chance I’LL wear your jersey to every game 😳
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
Rose is apparently going to be interviewed on the Sports Centre broadcast 😊
hollandry updates 🌹🏒 @hollandryupdates
oh.
laurie @hollypike
WAIT WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
“shane is one of my best friends” I LOVE IT HERE
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
I HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
Quote Retweet:
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
okay so maybe i was wrong about the breakup…
kayla ✧*:･ﾟ @roseygarden
WE’RE FREE WE’RE FREE
(closed) @hollandryupdates
guys i think i’m going to be taking a break for a little while…
jock strapped @shilya
coming clean and admitting to you all that i hired an etsy witch to make this happen
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
dude????
↳ jock strapped @shilya
there was a new years sale and i wanted them to realize that they’re incompatible (both gay)
di 🦌 @shanedoe
will i be cancelled for saying i kind of enjoyed the hollandry era? like i dont care about their relationship but i liked being able to tell my non-hockey friends abt shaney :(
ilya’s thong @achilles81
rose landry if u want to receive good head and are interested in experimenting with women pls let me know 🙏
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
not cleaning up shane hollander’s sloppy seconds
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
he didn’t know what to do with all that but i do!!!!!
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
Today on the #NeutralZonePod: We’re talking Houston’s win streak, more Carolina trade rumours, and the Vaughan suspension.
↳ Mandy @mandyskates
nothing on the hollandry breakup?
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
@mandyskates Respectfully, we’re just not that kind of show. Wishing them both the best though!
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
#FreeCarterVaughan he did nothing wrong!!!
↳ Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
When is Rozanov re-signing?
↳ Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
@bostonbrian No updates right now! But there’s still lots of time.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
you can always tell the bears are playing the admirals because without fail roz posts a dinosaur on his story.
ilya’s thong @achilles81
more hockey players should be cunty
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on chatting with Hunter during warm-up: “I think he was very brave in June. I told him this also at the NHL Awards, but at his age, memory is only so-so. Need to make sure he knows that when we beat his team, it is not because he is gay. It is because we are better than them.”
↳ joey 🌈 @21hunts
i hate this guy so bad but at least he’s an ally i guess
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
Big win in the Big Apple! 5-1 Bears!
November
celeste @celestielle
apartment hunting today and saw this gorgeous place in the plateau that was fully furnished etc but on god the last person who lived there was some kind of freak i’ve never seen that much lube outside of a drug store
↳ laurie @hollypike
oh my god 😭 just out in the open??
↳ celeste @celestielle
no in the bathroom cabinet. im nosy
vic hates hockey @censeless
i bet on losing dogs: the ottawa centaurs story
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
my non-ottawa oomfs are tuning into hollanov bowl and i’m about to watch the centaurs lose their ninth game in a row
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
all we do is suffer
jock strapped @shilya
hollanov nation its our time
ilya’s thong @achilles81
HIT THAT TWINK AGAIN ROZ
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
roz scoring and then holly immediately tying the game ooooooh they’re so fun
margo @shanebortion
i do think holly and roz should consider having gay sex with each other. maybe they’d be less stressed about the whole rivalry thing
gay jess @pikesbian
↳ oomf u are so unserious
ezra @rozanot
i would never give credit to h*llonov fans but there is something pathological about the way roz loves to wink at that man
cens sicko @bywardbood
tanner dillon’s never seen a faceoff he can’t lose
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
and what’s worse is that like i GUESS jorgenson would be an improvement but they’d still be the centaurs
gay jess @pikesbian
HAYDEN GOAL MY BEST FRIEND HAYDEN PIKE GOAL
↳ laurie @hollypike
assisted by shane well yes that’s his husband
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
MARLY SNIPE YESSSS
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
the celly after oh roz loves him so bad im SICK
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
everyone talking about the bears-voyageurs game being fun and exciting and meanwhile i’m watching…. this…..
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
i guess i should count my blessings… we’re not winning but at least calgary aren’t either…
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
fifty minutes of scoreless hockey should be against the geneva convention probably
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
#BOSvMTL and #OTTvCGY are both going to overtime but the vibes couldn’t be more different… two utter juggernauts battling it out, and, just down the highway, two peewee teams who both seem reluctant to play anything resembling hockey
di 🦌 @shanedoe
HOLLY!!!!!!!!!
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander wins it in overtime for the Voyageurs, final score of 3-2. The NHL’s best on display here tonight.
vic hates hockey @censeless
0-0 game going to shootout like jesus does nobody want to win???
cens sicko @bywardbood
BOOD SHOOTOUT GOAL A WIN IS A WIN
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
And Ottawa win their first in nine games in the shootout, final score 1-0. Calgary will want to shake this one off quickly before their game in Toronto tomorrow.
The Neutral Zone S02E27: No Shade November, 31:22
Denis Alderman: …And so all of this to say, we’re very happy to see Ottawa break their losing streak, even if the game doesn’t really mark a change in their play.
Tyler Kudirka: Yeah, kind of hard to call it a victory, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. Okay, enough of Ottawa-Calgary, I don’t think anyone wants to think about that game ever again. Our scoring leaders, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander met last night.
Denis Alderman: I hear the Bears and Voyageurs were there too.
Tyler Kudirka: Sure, sure, but they’re not ten points ahead of the rest of the field, are they?
Denis Alderman: [laughs] No. No, as ever, it’s Hollander and Rozanov leading the charge.
Tyler Kudirka: Two goals for Hollander, two points for Rozanov… Has Rozanov gone a single game without recording a point so far?
Denis Alderman: Not yet, but it’s only November.
Tyler Kudirka: That’s a guy who’s playing himself into a big contract, eh?
Denis Alderman: He seems to be. Although, if this is a conversation we want to have today—
Tyler Kudirka: By all means!
Denis Alderman: —I haven’t gotten the sense that Rozanov’s camp have been very receptive to offers just yet.
Tyler Kudirka: Are they relying on Rozanov’s play as a negotiation tactic, or is there interest in testing free agency?
Denis Alderman: I think they’re open to it. I’m not hearing a lot, and obviously Rozanov’s camp can’t talk to other teams before July, but enough rumours go around that you can get a sense for who might be interested, and I think they’re at least curious.
Tyler Kudirka: Right. I mean, they could listen to this show, for one.
Denis Alderman: [laughs] That’s true!
Tyler Kudirka: So they’re keeping their options open right now.
Denis Alderman: They are.
ezra @rozanot
………roz wouldn’t really leave, right?
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
rozy literally said boston was home in that espn piece about his cars last year, he’s not going anywhere. can we stop catastrophizing
ilya’s thong @achilles81
that one oomf in law who’s so patronising so now i wanna catastrophize… HE’S GOING TO HOUSTON HE WANTS TO RAISE CATTLE 🤠
↳ ★pri★ @bostonroz
club rat roz secretly longs to be a rancher: fact checked TRUE ✅
vic hates hockey @censeless
and when r*zanov signs in ottawa for his muskoka girl what then
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
the idea that he would come to ottawa rather than toronto 😭😭
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
they have fucking dallas kent WE are the ones who need a center 🤪
December
yejin @anticottagecore
saw jeep guy at the ottawa airport… likely place for him to be
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
anyone else notice that roz wasn’t at dubek’s for christmas this year? all the other european players were and he’s always there :( they always make him wear one of those stupid paper crowns :(
↳ carmy’s wife @carmichaels
he’s probably spending the holiday with his gf and her family ☺️
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
………..based on literally what
↳ ezra @rozanot
like it gets to a point…
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
The Bears are back in action after the holiday break in Ottawa tonight! Catch us on ESPN at 8pm EST.
vic hates hockey @censeless
oomf meet up with @kanatacommunist at the cens game tonight!
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
😈😈
vic hates hockey @censeless
wait
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
omg vic and i just met shane hollander’s parents!! they were super nice omg
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
omg what
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
they were ahead of us in line for food in the lower concourse!
↳ dan 🏒 @twinkshane
wonder why they’re at this game bc shane isnt even here lmao but ig they live in ottawa
↳ tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
yeah they’re always here when montreal are in town but idk i guess they support the home team too sometimes :)
cens sicko @bywardbood
i love hockey i hope bood gets a dick trick
↳ vic hates hockey @censeless
he hasn’t even scored one and it’s the end of the 2nd
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
i said hope
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
That’s a win in Ottawa! 4-1 Bears!
cens sicko @bywardbood
well at least he scored one
little apple 🧃 @vaughany
this season has been lowkey so exhausting like some games are so much rougher than usual and We All Know Why like vaughany had what, two career fights before this year? scott had four? and the league doesn’t do shit about it
↳ joey 🌈 @21hunts
yeah i mean i was worried it would be worse but god i cant imagine how scott is handling it
↳ little apple 🧃 @vaughany
i just hope fucking hollander doesnt start shit with scotty again today
di 🦌 @shanedoe
shane talking to scott hunter in warmies he’s my sweetie boy 💝
margo @shanebortion
shane is so funny he literally tried to fight this man like four years ago but he has to be an Ally now
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
yes definitely he’s Just An Ally 👀
↳ margo @shanebortion
Well…
little apple 🧃 @vaughany
okay fine hollander gets to keep his ally card
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
scott/shane u will always be famous 2 me
January 2018
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
When asked about what’s different this season, Ilya Rozanov said: “Everyone wants to hear about a summer routine, workouts, diet, and yes, okay, I put on like eight pounds, but mostly I think I am just playing more free. Things aren’t so messy in my head this year.”
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Marlow adds: “Roz won’t tell you this, but he also quit smoking.” Lots of affectionate ribbing for the captain!
˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
HE’S PLAYING MORE FREE OHHHHH I LOVE MY BOY 💛
★pri★ @bostonroz
god i thought he looked beefier but eight pounds… swooning like a victorian maiden rn
↳ ezra @rozanot
i did say i thought his pecs were looking extra juicy
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander after practice in Boston today: “Yeah, of course I look forward to these games. Rozanov is obviously such a competitor. It’s fun to match up against him. Apparently he stopped smoking this year, so maybe out-skating him will finally be a challenge.”
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
!!!! HOLLY CHIRPING ROZ BACK???? I LOVE THIS TIMELINE!!!!!!!!!!
ilya’s thong @achilles81
okay since when was hollander funny
gay jess @pikesbian
ohhhh i love when holly is mean we get him so rarely but i love his bitchy ass 💕
carmy’s wife @carmichaels
lowkey kind of think it’s weird to be rude about someone beating addiction
Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Totally out of line from Hollander.
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Want to add some context - Don’t think there’s any more than the usual animosity between Hollander and Rozanov. It’s lonely at the top, but those two have been in the league together a long time. No need to pick over jokes between a couple of guys.
↳ Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Not really a joking matter.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
I think there’s a lot of people making a big deal out of a joke that Rozanov himself didn’t mind when Marlow said it. Obviously the context of their relationship is different, but Hollander probably knows where the line is between them better than the rest of us.
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
If we want players to show more personality in the media, we can’t immediately take it in poor faith and get mad when they do. Rozanov has always been larger than life - shouldn’t we be excited to see him bring it out in others?
Denis Alderman ☑️ @DenisAlderman
Hollander after morning skate today: “Look, I want to clarify my comments from yesterday. I have tremendous respect for Rozanov as a competitor. I know what it takes to perform at this level and with this degree of consistency. I’m always glad to see Rozanov perform well because it drives me to be better. I obviously admire his strength and perseverance in shaking a habit like that.”
↳ Brian Walsh @bostonbrian
Not impressed.
margo @shanebortion
oh my godddddd i cant believe you all made him apologize
↳ gay jess @pikesbian
let! holly! be! mean!
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
rozanov talks shit for YEARSSSSSSS and shane gets one shot in and you all dogpile him ugh
John @reddeerpatriot
Guys chirp. Don’t know what soft bullshit this league is coming to if Hollander has to apologize for that.
dan 🏒 @twinkshane
okay so That’s not the take.
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on Hollander’s comments yesterday: “You see! Hollander is an asshole! I have told people this, but no one ever believes me, they just think he is a sweet Canadian boy who has never done anything wrong. I could not be rivals with someone who cannot give it as good as he takes it.” 1/2
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
“You tell Hollander, he is not allowed to apologize, otherwise I am the only asshole again. The rivalry is no fun if it is one-sided. Besides, if no one nags me, maybe I will smoke again.” 2/2
margo @shanebortion
SEEE!!!!!!
ezra @rozanot
the way roz is delighted ohhh im obsessed with him
liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
roz grinning and clutching his heart lskdjflskdjf that’s his boy!!!! that’s his boy!!!!
↳ jock strapped @shilya
literally!!!! he likes him so much!!!!
Boston Bears ☑️ @BostonBears
A win for the good guys! Bears beat the Voyageurs 3-1 tonight in Boston.
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Rozanov on the win and his own two goal performance: “Well, I assume this is why Hollander, what did he say? Respects me as a competitor, yes? I am just trying to live up to his expectations. So he can admire me.”
↳ ilya’s thong @achilles81
oh i love this bitch so bad
laurie @hollypike
i really really hate to give it to rozanov but he is unfortunately funny
xe/xir salad @hollanovs3rd
the beauty of hollanov is that it never dies. those bitches remain obsessed with each other
February
Tyler Kudirka @neutralzonetyler
On the #NeutralZonePod today: Hiring and firing, injury central in LA, and reviewing the All Star Game selections.
The Neutral Zone S02E50: Drilling Deep, 10:48
Tyler Kudirka: Now, we oughta talk about Ottawa.
Denis Alderman: It is that time, yes. The Ottawa Centaurs have made a change in the front office, firing General Manager Todd Pelletier and hiring on Rodney Murray as interim GM.
Tyler Kudirka: A long time coming, this change.
Denis Alderman: I think so. Obviously, we all had our doubts about the Dillon acquisition this summer, but it’s really not turned out the way anyone in Ottawa hoped.
Tyler Kudirka: No. No, certainly not. Do we think the Dillon at center experiment is finally over?
Denis Alderman: Well… I mean, probably. Obviously, that’s partially a coaching decision, but I’ve heard that Graham has been ready to move Dillon back to wing for a while.
Tyler Kudirka: You kind of feel bad for the guy, Dillon, you know, to have all this pressure of a big trade and to be put in a difficult position and just allowed to fail repeatedly.
Denis Alderman: Definitely a tough situation.
Tyler Kudirka: Here’s something else to consider: we’re a month out from the trade deadline. Tricky timing for a new GM to come in now.
Denis Alderman: It sure is, Tyler. But obviously the ownership group have faith in Rodney Murray, he was GM in Arizona for a few years during their rebuild, and then assistant GM here. And, maybe more significantly, they weren’t willing to trust Pelletier with another deadline. If that’s the case, you have to pull the plug.
Tyler Kudirka: Are we expecting a conservative deadline from the Centaurs then?
Denis Alderman: Well, they’re in a position to be sellers, obviously. Down at the bottom of the league, in the trenches of a rebuild, they want picks and prospects, not win-now guys. So I think we will see some movement. And they might be on the lookout themselves to patch some of their own holes, you know, make a hockey trade and get a useful piece back.
Tyler Kudirka: Find themselves a center, for one.
Denis Alderman: Well, we’ll see how Jorgenson fills in on the first line, but that might be what they’re looking for. Not a lot of contenders looking to ship out young centers, but you never know. And Murray is good at making magic beans look like they’re worth more than they are, sometimes. So, I think this is good for the Centaurs.
Tyler Kudirka: It can hardly be worse. Okay, speaking of staffing changes, Columbus have fired their coach…
tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist
WE’RE FREE!!!!! GOODBYE FOREVER PELLETIER YOU STUPID BITCH!!!
vic hates hockey @censeless
i know tanner dillon is weeping with joy that he doesnt have to try to play center anymore
↳ cens sicko @bywardbood
meanwhile bood is popping bottles bc he gets a real center
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Ahead of the All-Star Game in Boston this weekend, I sat down with Ilya Rozanov to talk about what he loves about this city, what it’s like to play the best hockey of his career, and what comes next. bit.ly/203948
˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
i love julia’s work but the article was so vague abt whether roz is going to extend in boston :(
↳ Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Thanks for the love! Unfortunately, there’s not a lot more to say. Rozanov quietly keeps a lot close to his chest, and the contract situation seems to be one of those things. Which could mean it’s close and he doesn’t want to compromise the negotiations, or it could mean something else.
↳ ˚˚𝜗𝜚˚isa.ೃ࿔* @marlyroz
totally fair! just wish there was more to know haha. appreciate your work!
ezra @rozanot
roz’s favorite place in boston is the duckling statues in the public garden…. why is this 6’3 russian man giving me cuteness aggression
jock strapped @shilya
every year the asg is like Yes the skills comp is nearly unwatchable However! every once and a while the camera will find hollanov talking to other people and sneakily glaring at each other
jock strapped @shilya
actually i take this back because they’re not glaring this year.
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
2017 was healing they’re friends now
↳ liv ²⁴⁸¹ @hollanovist
nvm they’re glaring again
Julia Prior ☑️ @JuliaPriorESPN
Hollander, after the skills comp: “Yeah, it’s been a great event so far. Everyone’s been really nice. Thanks to the Bears organization, of course … Yeah, Rozanov has been very welcoming. I haven’t been to see the ducklings, no.”
↳ di 🦌@shanedoe
he’s soooooooooooo. i need to eat him.