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Dimitri pulls his hair up, trying to get some air on his neck. He's so hot even with the open window letting in the chill winds of the Wyvern Moon. He can feel the flush high in his cheeks, the twinge at the base of his skull. All signs of an incoming fever. But he can't be getting sick, not today. He has too much to do.
He forces himself to return his attention to the letter in front of him. Dedue is asking for more resources to help with the restoration of Duscur. This is important; he has to reply, but the words swim before his eyes and he cannot focus for more than a few seconds at a time.
He pours himself a glass of water from the previously untouched pitcher on his desk, but his mouth still feels dry even once he drains it. Does he need to eat? He doesn't think so, just the thought of food has his stomach roiling uncomfortably.
He tugs off his cape, the weight and warmth of it are becoming stifling instead of comforting. The fabric brushes against the sensitive skin of his neck, unleashing a full-body tremor that starts in his spine and flares outward rapidly. He almost moans at the featherlight sensation. He shifts, the motion bringing his attention to the unusual dampness between his legs.
It hits him like a Miasma blast to the face. He's going into heat. Oh no. It's been so long he almost forgot that they existed. He hasn't had one in...six years, maybe seven? Definitely before his imprisonment in Fhirdiad.
Omega biology is designed to stop their heat cycles if they feel unsafe or are not in good physical condition, both of which applied to him at the time. But now, after a year as king and living in relative comfort, his body must have decided to resume his regular cycle.
Dimitri groans and throws his head back. This cannot be happening right now. He has a meeting with Viscount Elidure that he can't cancel, and he has a thousand petitions to review, not to mention he was supposed to hold open court this afternoon.
He should be fine. He's not in full-blown heat yet. As long as Felix stays away from him, he will be able to make the meeting at least.
As if Felix can sense that Dimitri is thinking of him, he barges into his office without knocking, not that he ever does. Dimitri stifles a despairing sound as he jolts to his feet, knocking over a bottle of ink in the process, ruining the few lines he had managed to pen out. Even though he knows there is no hiding this from Felix, he still retreats to the furthest corner of the room in the hopes of lessening the potency of his growing scent from the alpha.
It's a pointless effort. Felix freezes in place, his head tilting upward as he sniffs the air. "Is that you?" he asks, mystified. The corners of Felix's nose scrunch as he steps closer to Dimitri after kicking the door shut behind him.
"Um...I believe so." Dimitri shrugs, helpless, nervous. "I think I may be going into heat."
Felix has never commented on Dimitri's lack of heats. He is one of the few people who doesn't make Dimitri feel less than for the failings of his body and mind. Dimitri loves him for it, but in hindsight, maybe they should have had a conversation regarding what would happen if Dimitri ever went into heat previously. Felix looks downright predatory. It shouldn't scare Dimitri; he trusts Felix implicitly, but he can't deny that a small part of him is preparing to flee as the alpha prowls toward him.
"And were you planning on telling me?" Felix's voice is deceptively calm, like a blade wrapped in plush velvet. "Or were you going to continue with your day, advertising to the whole castle that you are in heat?
"I...may have considered stepping out for a quick meeting?" Dimitri doesn't mean for the statement to morph into a question, but the intensity of Felix's glare has him cowed. "I was going to ask Mercedes for a scent-blocking concoction first, of course."
"Idiot." Felix stalks closer to him, caging him between his desk and the corner of the room. "You're not going anywhere smelling like this."
"Felix." Dimitri groans as the shorter man pushes into his space. "I can't cancel on the viscount. He will be furious, and—"
"Shut up," Felix orders, sharp and soft all at once. He presses his face into Dimitri's neck, inhaling deeply as he does. "Fuck, Boar, you smell incredible."
“I am sure I will be fine for a few more hours at least.”
“No.” Felix is unyielding.
"I...I..." Dimitri feels heat dumb already. He forgets how to form words as Felix mouths over his mating mark. The scar has never felt so sensitive. "You're making it worse," he whispers. He can feel slick pooling in his smallclothes already, and he's suddenly, blindingly hard.
"That's usually how it works.” Felix forces his way in between his legs, pressing against Dimitri from thigh to chest. Oh saints, he's never going to be able to make it through a meeting now. "You've had a heat before, you know it would be stupid to try and keep working through it."
"Perhaps you are right, but Felix..." Dimitri tries to mount one last, pointless protest. “If I could just finish a bit more paperwork—” Felix swallows the remainder of his sentence with a kiss, his lips plundering Dimitri’s, causing a searing heat to spread across his entire body. Dimitri can't move, can't breathe, can't think; any and all arguments are forgotten, burnt to a crisp in the inferno that is his desire.
"Go to your room," Felix commands, disconnecting their mouths abruptly. Dimitri chases his lips in a futile effort to recapture them. "I will clear your schedule, then I will join you."
Dimitri can only nod as another rush of slick pulses out of him just from a kiss. His other heats had never felt like this, and this one is only just starting. As much as he hates to concede, it would probably be best if he canceled his appointments for the day before things get even more intense.
Felix pauses in the doorway, his amber eyes dilated wide as he makes sure Dimitri is following his instructions. He does as his alpha wishes, making his way through the adjoining corridor and into his room without further complaint.
Dimitri closes and locks the door behind him. Felix has a key for when he returns. He kicks off his boots and sheds his doublet as he waits, leaving him in only a thin undershirt and loose pants. He’s still far too hot, his blood boiling even with the removal of most of his clothing.
He attempts to recall what he used to do during his heats: make a nest, ride it out, try not to go mad at the wasted days spent trapped by his own biology. Sometimes, when he was desperate enough, he would use a phallic device that was meant to replicate an alpha's cock, but it rarely satisfied him for long, and that was before...
One constant to his cycles is that he’s always been alone; he’s never spent a heat with another alpha, with anyone. Back when he presented, Felix was doing everything he could to pretend he did not exist, and no one else ever held any appeal for him, even then.
But now, Dimitri is mated, Felix is going to spend his heat with him. It should be a wonderful thought, and it is...mostly. But sex is not something Dimitri has ever had positive experiences with, and he's suddenly so afraid that he will let his alpha down, or allow his past to ruin his future once again.
He shudders as he recalls the feeling of rough stone against his back, of sharp teeth and prodding fingers. It won’t be like that, Dimitri tells himself. Felix is not like other alphas, nothing like those cruel, demanding strangers that would track him by scent until he had nowhere left to run. His heat isn't going to change that...right?
No, this is Felix. Despite his alpha nature, he has never let his hormones dictate his actions. Not once has he made Dimitri feel guilty for not wanting sex or implied that it is something expected of him, not even during his ruts.
Dimitri misses his alpha with a sudden aching ferocity that is bordering on ridiculous since Felix left fifteen minutes ago, if that. But he needs him here. Another pulse of slick dampens his thighs, followed by a flood of fear. He isn't safe like this, his scent is everywhere like a siren call. He’s too exposed, with no armor or weapon to defend himself. They will find him again, use him, hurt him—he has to...
The door creaks open, startling Dimitri so much he almost trips as he tries to back away from the intruder. But it is just Felix, of course it is. He is safe, in the palace, with his alpha. Not in the dungeons, not on the streets of Fhirdiad with no way to block his scent, not trapped under an unyielding body that only sees him as a wet hole and not a person.
"Tea," Felix announces as he all but dumps the tray onto the small table in the corner of the room. "Mercedes says to drink it now so it will take effect faster.
"Tea?" Dimitri repeats. He blinks slowly, not understanding. "I am not thirsty."
"Ugh." Felix groans, pouring a cup and bringing it to Dimitri despite his protests. "It's so you don't get pregnant, idiot."
"I-I oh, I mean, I don't..." Dimitri flinches away when Felix steps closer, dread swirling in his stomach and overriding the arousal also swimming there.
"Hey, stop." Felix's voice calms the panic creeping up Dimitri's spine. He sets down the china and gently grasps Dimitri's chin, forcing him to make eye contact, his irises blazing like molten gold. "I am not going to do anything that you don't want, I promise. You are in charge here. I am only going to help, and I won't touch you unless you ask, but I want you to be safe just in case."
Dimitri pushes into his palm, letting Felix’s calluses run over his heated cheek, the sensation both soft and rough all at once. Felix’s words should be a relief, a reassurance of his earlier conviction. Felix is nothing like those alphas who would catch one whiff of him and launch into a frenzy, tearing at his clothes and pinning him down despite his pleas and protests. At first, Dimitri was able to fight them off, but over time, he became too weak, too tired, and sometimes it was easier to just let them have their way with him than to cause a scene and attract even more attention.
Much to his mortification, a sob tears out of him. Before he can stop himself, he’s weeping, his chest heaving as Felix draws him into his arms. Felix guides them to the bed, slowly lowering Dimitri onto the plush mattress before following him down without disentangling their bodies. Dimitri clings to the smaller man, trying not to use too much of his strength, but Felix doesn't complain. He only holds Dimitri tighter, whispering soothing nothings into his ear as he shakes and cries.
"Sorry," Dimitri chokes out, embarrassment and fear clogging up his throat in equal measures. "I...I didn't think...I know you wouldn't ever… Goddess. I don't know why I'm crying."
"Hush." Felix soothes him, blotting his damp cheeks with the edges of his sleeves. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Felix is aware of what Dimitri went through over his five years in exile. Not all the details of course, even now Dimitri can't bring himself to voice some of them aloud. Dimitri spilled the shameful secret before they mated, wanting Felix to know what he was getting into while he still had a chance to change his mind.
Not once has Felix wavered in his love for him since they were reunited. He has never pressured him, never demanded anything that Dimitri was not willing to give, sexually or otherwise. He knows that he never will with a certainty he would bet his soul on. Still, Dimitri feels like a failure as an omega, as a mate. His trauma has ruined so many things, including sex for the most part.
There have been a handful of rare instances where Dimitri has felt comfortable asking for more than kisses and friction, but it's so few and far between, and even then, he sometimes ends up shoving Felix away and having to be coaxed back into the present, the memories of filthy hands pining him down in dark alleys lurking at the corners of his vision. Felix is always so patient with him. Dimitri doesn't know what he did to deserve such a caring mate. But now his body is aching for things his mind hasn't desired in years, and the disconnect is frightening.
"I'm scared," Dimitri admits. "I don't know what I want."
"That's okay." Felix hums, his fingers carding through Dimitri's hair, losing the tie of his ponytail until the locks fall freely around his shoulders. "Like I said, we can just lie here all day if you want. But I would feel better if you drank the tea just in case.”
Dimitri nods and lets Felix get up and hand him the cup, swallowing the warm liquid down in a few gulps. His sense of taste has improved slightly over the past year, but only for very strong flavors, and he cannot even guess at the subtle notes that he’s imbuing.
"Thank you." Felix smiles at him when Dimitri is finished, taking the cup and placing it down on the nightstand before wrapping himself around Dimitri once more. His pleased tone unleashes a pleasant warmth in Dimitri's chest that is independent of the heated arousal in his belly. "You comfortable like this?"
“Mhmm.” Dimitri nods again. Proper words are suddenly too hard to find.
"I cleared your schedule for the next three days by the way, so you don't have to worry about anything. Mine too. I am here for whatever you need." Only Felix would be able to move around so many appointments and duties in the span of minutes, although he might have simply ordered everyone to leave them alone and ignored the fallout, which doesn’t worry Dimitri as much as it should.
Dimitri kisses the corner of Felix's mouth. Felix turns into it, kissing back with a gentleness that the younger version of Dimitri would never imagine Felix being capable of. When Dimitri pulls away, Felix doesn't chase after him, he gives him space and resumes the repetitive motions of his fingers against his scalp. Even though he can feel the hot press of Felix's length brushing against his stomach, he feels no pressure to do anything about it. Goddess, he loves this man.
"I'm sorry if I was too rough with you in your office," Felix murmurs when Dimitri nuzzles back into his chest. "I didn't expect you to smell like this, not that it's an excuse."
"No," Dimitri protests. "You were fine. I was fine until...until you left."
"I am not going anywhere," Felix says, certainty emanating from every word.
"Good." Dimitri croaks out a laugh. "Don't ever let me go."
"Never," Felix growls, the low rumble vibrating through Dimitri's chest. The gentle pressure of Felix's nails scratching across his scalp is soothing Dimitri into a state of sleepiness. His body is still warm, desire bubbling sluggishly through his veins, but it's bearable, at least for now.
“Thank you,” Dimitri mumbles. He’s not entirely sure what he is thanking Felix for, everything, probably.
"Shut up, I didn’t do anything.” Dimitri can hear the smug grin in Felix’s voice despite his sentiment. “Why don't you rest for a bit? I will be here when you wake up." A nap in the middle of the day would typically be anathema for Dimitri, but just this once, the suggestion sounds pleasant and not like a punishment.
Dimitri smiles against Felix's skin, burying his face in his neck and breathing in the familiar smell of his alpha until he is as relaxed as he can possibly be. Felix's scent screams of safety, something that Dimitri has so little experience with, and almost all of it comes from his alpha. He dozes in Felix's arms, content and safe and warm, the insistent thrum of his heat forgotten for the time being.