Chapter Text
Hayden sighed as he stepped out of the bathroom. He still hadn’t gotten used to the quiet. If he was entirely honest, it made him want to crawl out of his skin. He had never lived alone and at least ever since the twins had been born, there hadn't been a moment of silence in his wonderfully chaotic home.
But that was back in Montreal. In the city of the team that had drafted him. The city where he had met his wife and where all of his wonderful children had been born. The city, he thought he would spend his life in.
And yet, since then, Montreal had also become the city of the team that had hurt his best friend so much that he had left. It had become the city that had turned on Shane in a way that still made Hayden’s stomach turn whenever he thought about it. It had simply become a place that Hayden didn’t feel comfortable in anymore.
So yeah, it was probably a good thing that Hayden was in Ottawa now. In this impersonal hotel room where he was supposed to stay until he found a new place to live, until his family managed to move, until everything was settled again. It was just…
He groaned and let himself fall on the bed as he picked up his phone. He was going to call Jackie. Maybe she could just put him on speaker, and he could fill up the cold air around him with the sound of screeching children while he got himself ready for a meeting with the Centaurs social media team.
However, his plans suddenly changed when he saw that he had just been added to a group chat.
Group chat “Sexy Half-Horse-Men✨🌈”
Rozanov: Okay, fuckers, listen up! Shane has something to say!
Shane: That was not what I meant when I asked you to get the team together for this.
Shane: But thank you, I guess?
Rozanov: Anything for you😘
Shane: Anyways… As you may have heard, we just acquired Hayden Pike in a trade with Montreal.
Shane: Most of you have met him at the wedding and know that he and I played together for many years.
Shane: But he is still new here. So, please be nice and welcoming.
Shane: Ilya, that goes for you especially.
Rozanov: When am I ever not nice to Pike?!
Shane: …
Rozanov: Saying he is 14th best player on Metros is just fact.
Rozanov: Well not anymore
Rozanov: Now he is 23rd best player on Centaurs
Rozanov: We have better players than Montreal
Shane: Ilya!
Hayden couldn’t help but snort. He knew that, back when he had first learned about Shane’s relationship, he would have probably taken offense to a quip like that. However, since then so much had changed.
Since then, ‘Rozanov’ had become ‘Uncle Ily’ to his kids. Since then, he had seen just how happy the Russian player made his best friend. Since then, Hayden had learned that Ilya mostly chirped at people to get a reaction out of Shane. Because for some reason getting reprimanded by his own husband was Ilya’s favourite state of being.
So, in that moment, in that cold and too quiet hotel room, Hayden couldn’t help but just roll his eyes and bite back a smile as he replied.
You: Wow
You: Thanks for the warm welcome man!
Hayden sighed as he realised that he probably shouldn’t get too comfortable too quickly. He had just gotten traded. He wanted to come across at least somewhat professional to the other players on the team. He had indeed met most of them at the wedding, and a few of them had been at the Irina Foundation Camps as well. But it wasn’t like he was close friends with any of them. Well, besides Shane.
You: Seriously though, I am super excited to be playing for this team and will do my absolute best to finally bring the cup to the capital with you 🏆
Hayden smiled and watched as people started to introduce themselves in the chat. He tried his very best to add every single contact into his phone with the correct name and some context clues like their position, the year they started or their hometown if they mentioned it.
He had always done the same with anyone who had been new in Montreal. But it was undeniably a lot more overwhelming when an entire team was introducing themselves to you all at once.
Eventually however, a name popped up. A contact that Hayden had clearly previously added.
Wyatt Hayes (Cens Goalie): Welcome man! So happy to share the ice with you once more.
Rozanov: Only if he gets any playing time
Wyatt Hayes (Cens Goalie): Shut up or I’ll tell your husband about the socks.
Rozanov: You wouldn’t!
Shane: What happened to the socks?!
Hayden’s laughter sounded far too loud in the empty hotel room. But he couldn’t have cared less in that moment. He had always liked Wyatt Hayes and Shane had told him multiple times just how amazing Ottawa was as a team, how comfortable they felt… but even in his wildest dreams, Hayden wouldn’t have anticipated a player just casually ‘threatening’ Rozanov – their captain – by saying he’d tell Shane something about some socks.
The Montreal group chat had mostly been used to organise practises, meetings or hotel pick-ups. Occasionally, someone had extended a birthday invitation or asked whether anyone else was having trouble with the facilities Wi-Fi. But it had definitely been mostly professional. Fond chirps? Someone casually joking about a player’s husband? Unthinkable.
Hayden already liked this far more.
Wyatt Hayes (Cens Goalie): Anyways, you’ll love it here, I promise.
Wyatt Hayes (Cens Goalie): Bood is organizing a barbecue at his place on Saturday. Obviously, it’s not my place to do so… but I am just going to go ahead and invite you anyways
A new number, one that Hayden immediately saved under ‘Bood (Barbecue)’, replied almost instantly.
Bood (Barbecue): Of course, man! We’d love to have you!
Bood (Barbecue): And if you want to bring your partner or anyone else, we’d love to have them as well.
You: That’s super nice! I’ll check in with Jax!
Hayden found himself smiling again. Not only because he loved how easily Bood extended the invitation to him - a virtual stranger, but also because he had not missed that his teammate had chosen a gender-neutral term for his partner.
It was something that he probably wouldn’t have noticed a few years ago. But being Shane’s best friend had since certainly trained him to look out for that kind of inclusive language in an otherwise very heteronormative and sometimes still outright homophobic space.
He already loved how easy kindness seemed in Ottawa. These were exactly the sort of values he wanted his kids to grow up around.
Bood (Barbecue): Sounds good!
Bood (Barbecue): I know that a trade can be super tough on partners as well.
Bood (Barbecue): If you want to, you can send me Jax’s contact and I’ll tell Cassie (my wife) to reach out. Our partners have an amazing support system and I’m sure that Jax would be more than welcome!
This time… honestly? It was almost a little too much. Hayden couldn’t help but swallow thickly at those words. He was simultaneously extremely grateful for the warm welcome and the fact that he would get to call these guys his teammates… while also feeling his heart break at the thought of how different things had been in Montreal, at how normal that kind of behaviour and environment had been for him.
He knew that not a single player in Montreal would have ever even considered making sure the partner of a new guy felt welcomed. And Hayden hated that that was what he had come to expect.
He had to take a moment to pull himself together before he could type out a reply.
You: That would be great!
You: Organizing the move with the kids has been super tough on Jax. I feel extremely bad for not being able to be there. I’m sure some support from people who already live here and could give some tips would be greatly appreciated.
He cringed as soon as he hit ‘send’. God, he had no idea why the fuck he had just put that in a group chat. He knew that he would have been torn to shreds for it with every other team he had ever played for. And yet, in that moment it had simply seemed fair to be sincere.
Bood (Barbecue): Ooff, I can imagine! I’m sure the girls and Harris will be happy to help in any way they can!
Bood (Barbecue): I have a son, Milo. But he’s still super young. Dykstra has a daughter as well, Suzi. But if you want more info about schools and stuff, Chouinard is probably your man. He and Selena have three little ones.
Once again, Hayden hated how surprised was by the fact that Bood could just easily rattle of his teammates’ kids and family situations. He doubted that – besides Shane and maybe JJ – a single player in Montreal could have even just guessed two out of his four children’s names.
Chouinard (3 kids): Absolutely! Selena and I will be more than happy to help you, Jax and the kids! What ages are they?
You: Thank you so much again! Seriously, you guys seem great!
You: I have four actually. One set of twin girls, a son and a daughter.
Rozanov: It’s thing he’s best at!
Shane: Ilya!
Rozanov: What? Pike kids are very cute!
Bood (Barbecue): Wow! Four?!
Hayden laughed out loud again. It just seemed so ridiculous. With the Metros he had always been the guy ‘with a million kids’. It was so strange that a teammate of his would be surprised to find out about them. Before he could figure out what to reply to that though, his phone lit up with yet another notification.
Troy Barret: That’s amazing! I didn’t know you guys had kids, man! Did you adopt?
Huh?! Hayden frowned at his phone. Sure, it might have not been the weirdest question in the world and maybe it was simply yet another sign of how progressive the Centaurs were as a team… but he had never ever met anyone who hadn’t just assumed that his wife had you know… birthed his kids.
However, he didn’t get to ponder the question too much before Shane suddenly chimed in.
Shane: Wait! Troy?! Are you thinking about having kids?!
Troy Barret: Well… You know… We’ve just been talking about it a little…
Troy Barret: Not now obviously. We both have far too much work. But it’s nice to think about. We decided that we’d like to adopt. It would be nice to know another couple who has.
Great. Suddenly, Hayden felt almost bad for having made his own kids.
Rozanov: Please adopt! We need more kids and more dogs!
Troy Barret: You’re the married one! Get started! 😂
Rozanov: I try every night and most mornings, but Shane is still not pregnant 😢 We might need to see fertility doctor soon😢
Shane: Ilya, stop it!
Hayden made a face and tried his best not to picture what his best friend’s husband was insinuating. Luckily, Shane came to his rescue before he could truly start to feel sick at the mental image.
Shane: You should absolutely adopt! You two would make great parents!
Shane: But Hayden’s wife actually carried all of their kids. She’s a champ!
Shane: You should reach out to Scott and Kip though! I know that they have been looking into it recently!
Rozanov: I look into it too
Rozanov: You know, in case fertility treatment doesn’t work 💔
Shane: I should have never taught you that word…
Hayden found himself chuckling again. He was definitely happy that he had landed with the Centaurs. There was a carelessness about the team that felt extremely comforting. None of them seemed scared or overthinking their words. It was obvious that they knew that they would be okay, that them simply being themselves wouldn’t get them in any trouble… And yes, maybe that should be the bare minimum. But Hayden had played hockey for long enough to know that it unfortunately still very much wasn’t the case in most locker rooms.
He sighed and was about to put his phone away to finally start actually getting ready, when another notification caught his attention.
Troy Barret: I’m so sorry @Hayden! I didn’t know that you have been married before. That’s great though that the kids are still coming to Ottawa with you!
Huh?! For the second time that day, Hayden found himself entirely confused by something Troy Barret had said.
You: Yeah…
He was texting slowly, brows furrowed. He was fairly certain that he was missing something.
You: I mean my wife is coming too. So yeah, it would be kind of weird if we just left them in Montreal…
Dykstra (Suzi): Wait… WIFE?!
Young (2nd year): I’m sorry… but Jax is a woman?!
Hayden stared at the phone on his lap. He had no idea what the fuck was happening.
Hayden: Uh… yeah?
Rozanov: Hahahaha Hayden has to come out for liking woman!
Troy Barret: Oh my God! I am so sorry, man! I could have sworn that someone said you were gay!
Young (2nd year): Yeah! Why was I so sure that you were dating a man?!
What the actual fuck? Hayden’s head was still spinning when Ilya fucking Rozanov decided to make everything a million times worse.
Rozanov: I am disappointed by the bi erasure in this chat.
Rozanov: Just because someone has wife does not mean they can’t like men.
Rozanov: Have I taught you nothing?
And suddenly, Hayden was angry. He didn’t even think about what he was doing before he had already opened his private messages with Rozanov.
Private chat with Rozanov
You: Why the fuck did you tell your team that I am gay?!
Rozanov: Hahahaha
Rozanov: I tell them nothing
Rozanov: But I should have
Rozanov: This is so funny
Rozanov: My side hurts
Rozanov: Is your fault if I cannot practice tomorrow
Hayden rolled his eyes. This was so typical of Rozanov. And by now, Hayden should have found it funny. Hell, he knew that he should be laughing about this. That he should be texting Jackie so she could get a kick out of the mistake of his teammates as well.
And yet… An ice-cold panic had started to slowly rise in his chest, already causing his hands to get clammy and leaving an acidic taste in his mouth. It was a panic that Hayden couldn’t yet explain.
You: Why couldn’t you have just said that I’m straight?!
You: Why did you have to lecture them on bi erasure?!
Rozanov: Because is serious issue!
Rozanov: I marry men = I am gay
Rozanov: Man marry woman = He is straight
Rozanov: Stupid!
Hayden exhaled through his nose.
You: I’m sorry about that, okay?
You: But I am not bi!
You: I am literally married to a woman?!
Rozanov: …
Rozanov: What did I just say about bi erasure?
You: I am straight.
Rozanov: …
You: Do not say it!
Rozanov: I wonder if internalized bi erasure is something
Rozanov: I will ask Harris
Rozanov: He told me about internalized homophobia
It was in that exact moment that Hayden decided that, actually, he couldn’t deal with Ilya Rozanov in that moment. He wasn’t even sure why he had texted him in the first place. It was so obvious who he should have been talking to about this instead.
So, without overthinking it any further, he switched over to his private chat with Shane.
Private chat with Shane
You: Why did you have to marry him?
Shane: I just forced him to give me his phone
Shane: And I am going to make him apologize for what he said
Shane: He of all people should know that you can’t just force someone to talk about their sexuality
You: Thanks? I guess?
Hayden tried to relax himself. He tried to lean back and to fucking unclench his jaw at the very least. It was so fucking ridiculous that he was so worked up about this. He wasn’t homophobic, was he? No, definitely not.
Sure, he had not had the best reaction when he had found out about Shane and Ilya… but that had just been because he had been upset that Shane hadn’t told him for so many years! It wasn’t that he was disgusted by it. Okay, maybe a little bit. But that was just because Ilya was not exactly PG on the best of days and Hayden didn’t want to think about his best friend in that way! It wasn’t because they were both men?!
He sighed… And then a realisation hit him like a ton of bricks.
You: Wait! Do you also think that I am bi?!
Shane: …
Shane: Would it help if I said no?
You: Not in that tone it wouldn’t?!