Chapter Text
“Shit.”
The word rolled off his tongue with ease, something between a hiss and a groan.
Amidst the crowd of people he walked, trying his best to not lag behind the rest of his group. His best, however, wasn't enough given that he could barely spot them.
He grit his teeth and fixed his jacket so that the cold wind would not bite as harshly.
‘Why did I even come?’
The question popped up in his mind uninvited, impossible to ignore, as he parted the crowd of people that walked in the opposite direction.
It was laughable. It hadn't even been a day and he'd already ruined it— man, he really had a knack for that sort of stuff. The plane to Hakodate had landed less than three hours ago. He'd been walking around with his group for how long, now? An hour? An hour and a half?
Something bitter piled up at the back of his throat. He swallowed it with difficulty— it sat heavy on his stomach.
He looked back up from his feet and spotted his classmates a few meters ahead, walking shoulder to shoulder— smiling, talking, laughing. The desire to continue walking behind them dimmed, and he regretted having even made his parents waste money on this school trip he wasn't even enjoying.
It was too late, now. It was already done— he was already all the way down to Hakodate, an hour and a half away from home.
‘Five more days of this.’ He thought grimly.
It wasn't actually that bad. Well— it wasn't supposed to be that bad, and it wouldn't have been had he not just… actually. It was better not to think about it.
At first, he'd tried. He had tried to strike up a conversation, add anything of substance to whatever they were talking about, anything. He really had. But it had been for nothing. The odd looks he was given were enough to tell him his attempts were unwelcome.
After that, his attempts to keep up the pace grew noticeably weaker and, gradually, the distance between them grew— they didn't bother in closing it, and neither did he.
The whole thing had been embarrassing. He'd probably made a fool out of himself— and not in the fun, class clown way he liked. Just… sad and pitiful. In stark contrast to the cold weather, embarrassment burnt.
What did he expect? Not one of the guys he'd been paired with was his friend. They were just missing a person when the teams were made, and he hadn't been chosen by anyone so the teacher had stuck him with them.
Even then, he had seen it. The way their expressions grew awkward, and the way the question ‘Do we have to?’ hung in the air. He tried to ignore it. Ignore how it felt like a kick to the ribs.
They were all clearly friends. Close, good friends. He was the odd one out. Of course they wouldn't care for him— they wouldn't—
‘Man, this sucks. Can't the ground just open and swallow me whole?
“Yo’ Natsuki!”
His eyes shot open at the mention of his name and he perked up almost immediately. His back straightened so fast it actually made him wince and he blurted out “Y-yeah?” like an idiot.
A few meters ahead stood the source of the voice that had called for him— a boy shorter than him. Tanaka, probably. He had glasses. He remembered a Tanaka that had glasses.
“Are you feeling okay? You've fallen behind quite a lot.” His words grated against his ears for some reason.
“Oh, uh. Yeah! I'm fine.” He said after the shock had worn down. “I guess I kinda got distracted, haha.”
Tanaka's expression changed into something he didn't want to see. He looked away in an attempt to not see it, and in his peripheral vision, he caught Yashiro rolling his eyes. It wasn't the first time, either—every time Subaru had tried to contribute to the conversation earlier, Yashiro's expression had soured just a fraction. Like Subaru's voice itself was an inconvenience.
“Well, don't fall behind any more. We don't wanna get scolded if you get lost, y’know?” Another boy spoke, standing to Tanaka's left. Yashiro, if he remembered correctly. He was taller than him and had black hair.
Currently probably the only person with a nastier look than him, too.
A third boy elbowed Yashiro on the side. “Hey man, be nice!”
“Tch. My bad.” Yashiro apologised through his teeth.
‘At least try to make it sound believable.’
“Yeah, sorry, haha.” Subaru scratched the back of his neck and walked up to them.
After he'd caught up to them, they all resumed walking and talking as if nothing had happened. It made it harder to pretend the cold, grating sensation in his gut wasn't there.
How much longer was it until they had to go back to the hotel? The teacher had said they had to be back by 7 pm for roll call.
He looked down at his wrist, to the digital watch he wore to check the hour— 11:34 am— and groaned internally. ‘Come on, now.’
He sighed deeply and looked up once more.
Five more days to go.
‘Would pretending to be sick let me skip this?’ He pondered briefly before being brought out of his mind by Yukio, the guy who'd stood up for him.
He had long brown hair and wore a thick blue jacket. “Y’know, you're a lot more quiet outside of school, Natsuki.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, yeah! I noticed that too!” Tanaka chimed in. “He's usually, like, loud and fun— Y'know? Like, reckless.”
“I— uh…”
“Yeah~ but he's been quiet all this time.” Yukio drawled. “Do you think he's shy? Is that why he isn't as playful?”
“Wait, what—”
“How does that make sense? If he was shy, he wouldn't make all those jokes during class and all that.” Yashiro rolled his eyes.
“Well. Maybe he's shy with us cuz we're cool.”
”Hey! I'm not shy!” Subaru shouted. “Also, don't talk about me like I'm not here!”
Stop it.
Tanaka was smiling when he opened his eyes again. Yukio grinned. “Now, that's more like it.”
Don't talk.
“Don't tease me!”
He shouldn't feel this light. He shouldn't feel this at ease. This wasn't going to last anyway.
The walk continued in relative peace after that. Subaru kept his mouth shut for the most part, only chiming in when directly addressed— which wasn't often.
The other three talked amongst themselves, their conversation flowing naturally in a way that made it clear he was barely anything more than an afterthought.
Every so often, Yukio would glance back at him, as if checking he was still there. Subaru couldn't tell why. Or maybe he didn't think he'd like the answer.
They passed by a convenience store, its bright lights cutting through the gray afternoon. Tanaka suggested they stop to grab something warm to drink, and the group filed inside. The sudden warmth was almost overwhelming after the biting cold outside.
Subaru lingered near the entrance with hands shoved deep in his pockets, watching as the other three made their way to the drinks section with way more attention than he'd like to admit. They spoke in low voices, laughing about something he couldn't quite hear.
He should join them. That would be the normal thing to do. But his feet just wouldn't move. Instead, he found himself staring at a rack of tourist pamphlets by the door— glossy images of Hakodate's famous night view, the morning market, and old western-style buildings. Places he was supposed to be excited about seeing. Places that right now felt impossibly far away, even though they were probably just a few blocks over.
"You gonna get something or just stand there?"
Subaru's head snapped up. Yashiro stood a few feet away, holding a can of coffee. His expression was weird, and he didn't like the way it made him feel.
He shook his head in an attempt to snap out of it. It was just his imagination.
"Oh—yeah, I was just—" Subaru gestured vaguely at the pamphlets, then immediately regretted it. That made him look even more pathetic, didn't it? Standing alone, staring at tourist traps like some lost kid.
Yashiro's eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't say anything. He merely turned around and walked back toward the others.
Subaru exhaled slowly, then forced himself to move. He grabbed the first canned drink he saw— some kind of sweet tea —and headed to the register.
Thank god he hadn't used up too much of the allowance his parents had given him that month.
By the time he made it outside, the other three were already there, leaning against the store's exterior wall. Yukio was in the middle of telling some story, making gestures with his hands, and Tanaka was laughing so hard that Subaru wondered how he hadn't fallen over yet.
Subaru approached slowly, cracking open his drink. He took a sip and immediately grimaced. The sweetness was cloying, too sweet, but he drank it anyway. He'd already paid for it.
"—and then the teacher just stared at him for like, a minute!" Yukio finished, grinning wide.
"No way! That's brutal!" Tanaka wiped at his eyes.
Even Yashiro was smiling, shaking his head. "Man, I would've died on the spot."
Subaru took another sip. He had no idea what they were talking about. Probably something that happened in class one day when he hadn't come. "What about you, Natsuki?" Yukio turned to him suddenly, that same grin still plastered on his face. "You got any embarrassing stories?"
The question caught him off-guard. He froze in place and his mind went blank. Suddenly, every memory he had ever experienced was impossible to recall.
"Uh—" He scrambled for something, anything. "I mean, there was this one time—" He began after stalling for a long, awkward minute beneath their watchful gaze.
"Wait, wait," Yashiro interrupted, his tone sharp. "Before that—why've you been so weird this whole time?"
Subaru blinked. "What?"
"You heard me." Yashiro pushed off the wall and crossed his arms. "You've barely said anything since we left the hotel. You just walk behind us like some kind of… I don't know, like you don't even wanna be here."
"That's not—"
"It kinda feels like you think we're not good enough for you or something," Yashiro continued, his voice rising slightly. "Like, what, are we boring? Not worth your time?"
"What? No, that's not—" Subaru's stomach dropped.
"I mean, you're always so loud in class," Tanaka added, his voice quieter but no less pointed. "Making jokes, getting everyone's attention. But now you're just… quiet. It's weird.”
What had come over him? Why was he suddenly so aggressive? Looking back, the looks over his shoulder Yashiro had given him made all that more sense.
"Maybe he's just shy around us," Yukio said, but there was an edge to his voice now, too. "What, are we not cool enough for the great Natsuki Subaru?"
"That's not it!" Subaru's voice came out louder than he intended. His hands clenched around the can, the metal crinkling under his grip. "I'm not— it's not like that!"
"Then what is it like?" Yashiro shot back.
Subaru opened his mouth, but nothing came out. What was he supposed to say? That he'd tried? That they'd made it clear they didn't want him there?
That every attempt he'd made to join in had been met with awkward silences and sidelong glances?
That he was desperately, pathetically trying not to ruin this for them?
"I just—" His throat felt tight. "I didn't want to be annoying, okay?" The words hung in the air.
Yashiro scoffed. "So you thought ignoring us was better?"
"I wasn't ignoring you—"
"You barely talked to us!"
"Because you guys clearly didn't want me to!” The can crumpled in his grasp. The metal hurt his hand and the cloying drink splattered everywhere.
The silence was loud in his ears. It was soon followed by the familiar burn of shame, by the heavy weight of consequences.
“I— I didn't mean…”
Great. Just great. Truly an outstanding performance.
“Look, guys, I'm sorry… I just…”
"I just thought you looked lonely."
Heat flared up Subaru's neck, sudden and scorching. His jaw clenched so hard his teeth ached. The world narrowed to just those words, echoing in his skull— he said it with such certainty. As if it was written on his forehead for everyone to see.
He looked up from his feet and saw it. Saw the pity in his— in their eyes.
Inside him, anger burned hotter than embarrassment. He gritted his teeth.
The world was robbed of all sound after Subaru heard those words come out of Tanaka's mouth.
“I'm not.” He spat, and the words felt wrong the second they left his mouth. He balled his hands into fists by his side. “I'm not some charity case you all get to help to make yourselves feel better.”
Yashiro scoffed, and muttered something along the lines of: “Called it.” Before turning around and beginning to walk away. Yukio followed him close behind, and Tanaka was the last one to go.
Subaru could tell he wanted to tell him something. He didn't bother asking. He wouldn't be able to if he tried, anyway.
This, he simply stood there with fists still balled at his sides, watching their backs disappear into the distance.
He should go after them. Apologize. That's what a normal person would do, right? Swallow the bitter taste and just—
His feet wouldn't move.
'They started it,' he thought venomously, even as shame writhed in his gut. 'I didn't do anything wrong.'
But if that were true, why did his chest feel so hollow?
He didn't move even after they had all gone away. He could still spot them if he looked up, but he couldn't bring himself to walk behind them any more. His feet felt rooted to the ground.
He checked his watch one more time. 12:03 pm.
Seven hours to go. He put his hands to his face and groaned.
They were probably making fun of him. Mocking him— he wouldn't blame them. Just what was he thinking?
He was lonely. So why had Tanaka's words made him so angry? Was it the certainty he'd said it with? Was it the pity? Was it both?
It was the way he'd said it, like it was obvious. Like it was clear to see in his face, like everyone could notice it first thing when looking at him.
He sighed.
He threw the crumpled can in a trashcan somewhere nearby. The sound of it landing never came— he didn't bother checking why. This, he continued by sticking his hands back into his pockets and walking in the same direction his group had left. He had no other choice.
Inside him, the anger had cooled down and all that was left was the ashy taste of regret.
He shouldn't have— No. He wasn't the one at fault here. Yashiro… what was that guy's deal, anyway? He clearly had it out for him since the beginning. What had he even done?
Yeah. He wasn't to blame for that guy’s behaviour. He hadn't done anything wrong— simply what they wanted but hadn't the guts to say.
He swallowed and it tasted bitter.
It didn't matter if he hadn't been in the wrong. He'd still be forced to say sorry or apologize.
‘Could this day get any better?’
He bit his cheek and continued walking, looking everywhere just in case he saw his classmates somewhere.
The sight of the architecture that had initially awed him grew dull, something he merely skimmed over when turning to look somewhere.
After fifteen minutes of walking aimlessly in the direction they'd left, hoping they hadn't purposefully made a turn somewhere so that they'd lose him, he found them sitting on a bus stop.
“Yo!” He called out for them, but no response arrived.
Irritation stirred awake inside him and he furrowed his brow as he lowered the hands he'd placed at the sides of his mouth in an attempt to make his voice reach them. He clicked his tongue and marched all the way there.
No one moved from the place they were. Not even an inch— and they were quiet. Were they ignoring him? Wow. What a bunch of douches.
It didn't matter. He took a deep breath and swallowed the taste of pride that drowned his mouth in order to voice his apology.
“Listen, uh— guys, I'm sorry for that earlier.” He said, too quick— nigh unintelligible.
Silence followed his apology. Nothing.
“Hey! I'm talking to you all!”
Nothing. Again.
And he was supposed to be the arrogant one. Tch.
He looked away and gritted his teeth.
“Whatever. Your loss. It's not like I did anything wrong anyway.” He spoke under his breath.
Nothing.
Irritation boiled into anger and he finally snapped. “Just say something, damn—”
The words died in his mouth just as he was saying them. His throat went dry and his heart fell down to his stomach.
“What the…”
It couldn't be. What the hell.
Up ahead, something short of twenty meters, there was a person— he wasn't familiar or anything of the like. It wasn't his appearance that shook him, but what he was doing— what he wasn't doing, to be exact.
His face was frozen in an expression of surprise, leaning forwards with his arms extended and his feet were doing absolutely no contact with the ground below him.
His heart rate grew quicker— he quickly walked around his group and tried hard to not mind the dizzying feeling that gripped his heart.
They were all frozen in the middle of something. He should've noticed it earlier, they were all in the middle of taking a step or something else.
His mind spun as the realisation dawned on him.
His eyes fixed on a dove with its wings were extended, getting ready to fly but that never would as it was stuck in place in the middle of the air.
Thus, it was true.
Time was frozen.
The wind had stopped howling though the cold had never left. Leaves remained in place as they glided to never fall.
And his breath was suddenly too loud in contrast to the deafening silence of the world.
Still, hope prevailed amidst the dreadful apparent truth and he checked his watch one last time. His hand shook and his breath grew quicker and—
12:03 pm.
The world had stopped and the watch did nothing but back that up.
And yet, buried within the dread, a nauseating joy shined through.
. . .
The hours went by— or didn't, since the time was frozen— and Subaru still couldn't wrap his head around it. Since then, he'd moved away from the bus stop where his classmates were to be found.
He'd wandered aimlessly at first, feeling lightheaded. It felt unreal— it was unreal. Though, for a hallucination, it sure felt real.
The possibility of it being a dream had gone out the window the moment he'd pinched his arm and immediately regretted it as he hissed in pain. Unless movies and books were lying— which was very likely, in hindsight— he should've woken up with that.
The time freeze changed nothing. There was nothing he truly wished to do, nothing that made him interested even in his current situation.
In the end, even his decision to wander away from where his groupmates had been frozen had been the wrong choice— because it had led to his current predicament.
Subaru sighed as he sat down on the sidewalk before dragging his hands up to his face and groaning. His hands felt limply at his sides afterwards and he simply placed them behind him before looking at his surroundings one more time.
He didn't recognise any of it.
“I'm lost.” He said under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Great.”
Really, what did he expect? He wasn't back home— he didn't know his way around here. Hell. Even back home he barely knew anything besides the way back home and to school.
“Now what do I do?”
Well. It wasn't like he was in a rush, anyway. Even if it really had been a few hours since the time had frozen— or that he'd even realised it happened—, the sun was still at its highest point, shining bright even amidst the gray skies.
He looked down at his watch again, 3:24 pm.
Oh, that was another thing— apparently stuff only worked so long as he interacted with it. Probably. Surely.
In truth, that was merely a hypothesis— he hadn't had the time or energy to really test it, but it seemed likely. He'd simply tapped the screen of his watch a few times and the digital screen showing the seconds began ticking, though the effect seemed to wear off after a while even if he had the watch on.
It didn't really make sense. But neither did anything else, so he simply let it slide. It's not like figuring that out would help him figure out why the time had stopped at all.
For what felt like the umpteenth time that day, Subaru sighed once more. As he sat there, he quietly turned to look at the sky and leaned back against the wall behind him.
He closed his eyes and waited.
Nothing.
Not a sound. Not a movement. Not anything. Inside him, something already crumpled shrunk further into itself.
How long was this going to last, anyway? A day? Two? It hadn't even been a day and he was already tired of it. It was quiet, eerily so, and he'd never been a fan of silence.
He pushed himself away from the wall he was resting against and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyelids. The cold of his hands felt good against his aching eyes, probably the only thing that made it worth it having forgotten to put on some gloves before leaving.
Then, ripping through the world's silence, a cry was heard and he was suddenly all the more aware of the hollow sensation of his stomach.
“Ah…” he muttered, placing a hand over his belly.
Of course.
Even if the time of everyone and everything else had stopped, his time hadn't. He could still get hungry, could still get tired.
Well, now what? He was hungry, so he needed to eat. But it wasn't like he could just go to a store and buy anything to eat. Did automatic doors even work? He hadn't checked.
For all he knew, he was basically locked out of every building.
…That would be an issue, surely.
‘No, it's no use thinking that way.’ He shook his head vigorously as if attempting to shake the very concept out of his head before slapping his thighs and standing up. Then, he brushed the dirt that had clung to him off of his clothes.
He couldn't keep on wandering aimlessly like he had done so far. It would just make him all the more lost, which would be a problem if time just suddenly decided to resume.
It was clear what he needed to do now.
“Okay. I need to find something to eat, and then find my way back to the hotel so I can have a place to sleep.” He slammed one of his fists into his open palm and nodded before beginning to look around for somewhere he could find something to eat.
It was probably the best he could do now. Well, to be fair, anything beat sitting on the sidewalk and sulking until time decided to work again. So, with that in mind, he began walking—
“I'm pretty sure I saw a fast food restaurant on my way here.”
His memory was foggy so it wasn't to be trusted as much as he'd like— he hadn't been particularly attentive of his surroundings while he wandered— but it was better to trust that than to simply venture deeper into a city he didn't know well.
As it would seem, his luck wasn't all that rotten after all. After a few minutes of retracing his own steps based on his vague recallings of the streets he'd passed by without recognition he managed to spot it— a fast food restaurant.
His stomach grumbled in excitement.
Crossing the street felt weird— seeing the vehicles stuck in space, the wheels in the middle of god-knows-what revolution kicking up a cloud of dust that simply felt drawn-on reality was mind-boggling.
It felt like watching a hyper-realistic drawing. Like stepping inside one, more like.
The door to the restaurant wasn't an automatic one so it would seem he would have to wait to see if they still worked in the frozen world. The bell didn't ring when he crossed the door, and yet he still made sure to close the door carefully behind him.
It wasn't until he'd already walked up to the counter that he remembered that he couldn't exactly order anything. Shame crept up the back of his neck, and he instinctively looked around to see if anyone was looking.
It was a stupid thing. All he saw was people in the middle of a bite, or blinking, and it got a laugh out of him. People really made funny faces when they thought no one would notice.
The solution to his problem came to him easily after a few seconds of thinking. He scanned the room until he found something he found appetizing (and that wasn't already halfway eaten) and, once he did, he walked up to the table.
There were two people seated, arguing by the looks of it— a lovers' quarrel if the identical rings on their hands was anything to go by— which had led to them forgetting their meal. On the table, their food lay untouched.
Hell, the man’s hamburger still had the wrapping on!
‘Some people's misfortune is another one's fortune. I guess.’
The arm he'd extended to grab the burger stopped just a few inches short of it as a realisation surfaced—
‘Wait. Doesn't this count as stealing?’
A cold sweat washed over him as dread seeped right into him alongside the implications. He eyed the wrapped hamburger, then at the man— frozen with his mouth wide open, words caught to never be said— before finally sighing and looking inside his pocket for his wallet.
He spared a glance toward the menu that the screens above the counter showed and tried to guess just what it was that the man had ordered before leaving the exact amount of money on the man’s plate and taking his food.
After that was done, Subaru headed for an empty table he'd seen while he was looking for his meal. It was close to a window that gave him full view of the outside— if he squinted, he could probably spot the place where he'd come from.
Also, the burger was strangely… warm? Like, it tasted as though it was recently done. Well, not recently done since it was fast food and that kinda thing was all about frozen stuff and— and yeah.
Still, point was, it was strange. It'd been well over four hours since the time stop happened, now. Shouldn't it have grown cold in the meantime?
Didn't that sort of back up his theory that stuff only worked so long as he interacted with it?
On that note, did phones still work? He hadn't been able to check since he'd left his own charging in the hotel room.
Wait— no. Forget that. There were more important matters at hand— like finding out why the time had stopped at all. He'd been so quick to accept it as his new reality that he'd totally neglected to ask the real questions.
Could it be magic? Or some super secret government experiment? Honestly, the former sounded cooler. Wait! What if he had been the one to will the time stop into existence?!
“Man, that would be— guhk.”
Suddenly, Subaru was coughing into his hand. Speaking while eating was definitely not the smartest thing he could've done. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he attempted to cough out whatever had gone the wrong way.
Once that was over, he left the half-eaten hamburger on the table and drank from the straw of the soda he'd… taken from the man earlier.
‘Man, that was embarrassing.’ He thought, placing the cup back down on the table. Then he leaned back on his seat and sighed.
Subaru grabbed the hamburger once more and took a bite out of it before going back to looking out the window.
Truth be told, he hadn't really thought about what he'd do. Not what came after… after this. Whatever it was.
Still… if he really had caused the time freeze, couldn't there be a way for him to unfreeze it? Like, turning it off and on?
Outside, nothing changed. Birds hovered over the ground, unmoving and stuck midair. Cars driving nowhere. People heading places they'd never arrive to.
He looked back down at his hands. All that was left of his meal was a greasy hamburger wrapping and a half way finished cup of soda.
It wouldn't really hurt to try, would it?
‘But where do I begin?’
Even if he could theoretically turn the time freeze on and off, what did he need to do for that to happen? Looking back, he couldn't really think of anything he'd done differently that could've triggered it.
Hell, he didn't even know when the time had stopped at all. Just a rough guess, if anything.
Besides, it wasn't a fact. It could be that this was all just a big coincidence and he had nothing to do with it.
But that was sort of… boring.
“Well, I guess I should get going now.”
Having spoken those words to the silent world, Subaru slid out of his seat and threw his trash where it belonged.
It was strange. The world had stopped, but it felt like it had been waiting for him to notice. He felt less like the world had stopped, and more like it had finally slowed down to his speed.
Was that why none of this really moved him?
Maybe.
It didn't matter. It didn't change anything— never had, and it wouldn't now.
The ring of the door chime echoed through the silent city once he opened the door. He slipped his hands back into the warmth of his pants’ pockets and set out once more for the still and soundless city of timeless lives.
First things first, he should find a map or something of the like. People always did that in the movies and it sounded like the logical thing to do, so maybe it was the right way to go.
‘Still. Where can I even find one? It’s not like there are any stores that scream ‘I Sell Maps’ nearby.’
…Perhaps finding a map would have to wait. Well, it's not like he needed one all that much, anyway. All he wanted to do was head back to the hotel and stay there until it all ended.
If it ever did end, that is.
Still, he wouldn't mind a map.
A cold dread washed over him as that thought surfaced. It couldn't be, could it?
But… What if, theoretically, he was stuck like this? What if he had caused this and now there was not a way back? What if this was his life now?
That was a scary thought. Even if his life wasn't all that, it still wasn't bad enough for him to want to spend the rest of his life alone— what was he saying? His life was great. Nothing could justify wanting this to happen, anyway.
For all he knew, this was all coincidence. Yes. He'd said it earlier, hadn't he?
He swallowed the bile that had crept up the back of his mouth and let go of the fabric of the inside of his pants. He hadn't even realised he had been clenching his fists.
Maybe he should get back.
If he retraced the steps he'd taken to get where he was now, he could eventually arrive at the hotel.
Yeah. That's what he should do.
He began walking quicker, and tried his best to ignore the way none of his steps made a sound regardless of how hard he stepped.
Suddenly, the pebble he'd kicked out of the way and now hovered in the middle of the air felt more sinister than he'd ever thought it possible
Whether it was dread or fear, something akin to a knot tightened inside his throat.
Perhaps this wasn't as fun as he initially thought it would be.
. . .
“Man, I never thought I'd be so happy to see the lot of you.”
In spite of the petty pride that flared in remembrance of an earlier quarrel, relief filled his chest as he finally caught sight of his group in the distance.
Lucky for him, they still hadn't moved an inch. The stranger mere seconds away from falling face first into the ground still hovered impossibly over the air, Yukio was still caught in the middle of yawning and Yashiro…
“Man, were you really always this odd-looking?”
He winced. Okay. That was kinda rude. But seriously— what kinda face was that?
The corner of his lips quirked upwards as a smile crept up his face.
He leaned in and studied their faces. Then he leaned back and waved his hand in front of Tanaka's face— nothing happened. Not even the slightest hint of a reaction. He tried snapping his fingers and the results were the same.
He couldn't help but feel disheartened by it, even if he already expected nothing to happen.
Subaru straightened his back and fixed his gaze on a nearby bench. His legs were killing him— he'd been walking for god knows how long. His legs felt numb.
He'd only recently taken up jogging to be able to deal with his father's… special way of waking him up every morning. However that man managed to be so up and about that early was a mystery to Subaru.
Though, to be honest, the normal things about his father that Subaru could actually count were scarce, so it shouldn't be that surprising.
Sighing, he plopped down on the bench and hunched over himself, placing his forearms over his thighs and letting his head hang low.
With his index and thumb he pinched the bridge of his nose in hopes that the ache in his eyes went away. The subtle lag in his movements and foggy memories wasn't caused by a lack of athleticism.
The night he'd spent up in spite of his better judgement was definitely catching up to him. Or was it the early morning he'd had in order to prepare his baggage.
Maybe a mix of both. What a bother. Sleep was overrated.
He stared down at his hands. He opened them up before making a fist out of his left one. Then, without a word, he brought them both up to his face and groaned. Subaru didn't bother changing his position afterwards.
It was then that he heard it once more. Stark in contrast to the world's stillness, he heard footsteps. Hesitant, trying to be silent and failing.
Whoever they were, they weren't exactly good at hiding. He'd heard them tailing him a few steps back, it was hard not to when it was the only other sound that he could hear.
Or maybe he was simply too alert. Perhaps he'd been too on edge, looking for anything to replace the silence.
It didn't matter. Not now. What mattered was what it meant.
If there was another person unfrozen in this world other than him, that meant that his case wasn't unique and there were others. In which case, the question that came up first in his mind was: why?
Under what criteria had he been chosen? It couldn't be aleatory, could it?
Whatever.
Chances were that if he was unfrozen, so were other people around the city too. And maybe…
He bit his lip, trying to keep the hope at bay.
…Maybe his parents were unfrozen too.
Was it hope, or dread? He didn't really know. He didn't really want to know.
Gah. What was he even saying? This was why he didn't like silence. It made him think about weird stuff more thoroughly and he should.
In the distance, he heard muffled sentences— unintelligible due to the distance. Subaru lowered his hands and exhaled through his nose.
‘Should I call them out?’
They had been following him for a while, whoever they were. So much for showing interest— though, he couldn't really blame them. He, too, would be curious of someone else moving when the world was apparently paused.
But he'd actually walk up to them and interact, not just watch in the distance like a creep. Probably— Okay, maybe not, but still. If they were tailing him, there must have been a motive. Something they expected to get out of it.
The question was: what was that something?
Anxiety pooled inside him as various scenarios, none particularly good, came to mind.
What if they killed him? Was it too much of a stretch to believe that? It could happen.
Dying in a world where the time was stopped was sort of… nevermind. Exhaustion must be catching up to him.
Staring forward, deep in thought, Subaru suddenly became aware of something in Yashiro’s hand— inside the plastic bag he carried. He blinked one, then twice, just to make sure he wasn't daydreaming.
A map.
Oh.
Suddenly, he was reminded of their earlier stop at a store. He could faintly remember seeing Yashiro buy it— before stuff went to hell between them.
Well, talk about luck.
With the map, many opportunities opened up. Among them was the chance of getting back to the hotel without having to guess directions, which was big enough of a help by itself.
Still, he couldn't really do much of anything as of then. Not with the stalker tailing him, anyway. It would be stupid to lead a potentially creepy person to where he'd be staying so he should probably ideate a way to get rid of them.
Annoyance flared up inside him for an instant before being immediately washed away by the simple solution.
‘Whatever. I'll deal with it later.’
“Hup.”
Grunting, Subaru stood up from the bench and walked around his classmates until he was In front of Yashiro, then he got down on his knees and extended his hand to take the map out of his bag.
The bag was frozen mid-swing at an awkward angle, so he had to lean in more. Once he took ahold of it, he tried pulling it but the plastic bag clung to it.
He furrowed his brow and tugged harder. Nothing. Then again, and again and—
“Excuse me—”
“Whuh?!”
The sudden intrusion of a voice like a silver bell’s chiming startled him. He stumbled back, flailed his arms meaninglessly in an attempt to keep his balance and eventually fell back on his rear end with a mute thud.
Her voice rang out, too alive for a world that had forgotten how to breathe. The world had been silent for so long that her voice felt like someone striking glass inside his skull.
“Oh, I'm sorry for that. Did I startle you?” Her voice was tinged with worry so earnest it tugged at his heart.
Swallowing, he opened his eyes and looked to his side.
Long silver hair cascaded down her frame, with pale skin to match and deep amethyst eyes fixed on him. She was leaning forward and to the side with her hands held up close to her chest.
The clothes she was wearing were strange— a white light dress that was slightly dirtied at the ends of her sleeves and at the hem that barely went past her mid-thigh.
…Okay. That was creepy. Even for him.
He shook his head, but unfortunately the words never came back to him— leaving him wordless at the alien sight of the person in front of him.
“Oh no, did you freeze too?” She asked, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her pointy ears—
Pointy?!
In his wordless stupor, all that Subaru could manage was to shake his head hesitantly.
“Phew. That's rea~lly good to hear!” She leaned back and the light-coloured hooded cloak she wore fluttered in the air behind her. “I apologise if I startled you, I rea~lly didn't mean to do that.”
Her words barely registered to him. Then, after a short while of nothing but silence, the strange girl finally spoke up again.
“Um. Can you… speak?” She asked.
And then it hit him.
“Oh, y-yeah! Sorry, I, uh…” Subaru scratched the back of his head as he looked away in embarrassment. “...yeah. I was kinda startled to see someone else moving.”
‘God. I must've looked like a creep…’
“Oh! Is that not normal around here?” She pondered aloud, which earned her a confused look from Subaru.
“What? No! Of course not.” He frowned.
“Is that so? I thought…” she put her hand to her mouth in a thoughtful gesture. “Everyone was…” She hesitated before trailing off. “Nevermind, um…”
‘What’s up with this girl?’ Subaru couldn't help but wonder.
Redundant as it was, she was strange. Not only in the clothes she wore, but in the way she carried herself— and that wasn't even mentioning her overall appearance!
Was she a cosplayer? She had to be.
“Could you… tell me where we are?” She finally asked after milking over something for what seemed like hours.
Her interrogative did nothing but make his questions double in quantity.
‘Is this girl for real?’
She was in Japan. She was speaking Japanese. She was surrounded by Japanese architecture— and she asked that?
She must have noticed his turmoil, for she shifted awkwardly in place before speaking again. “I don't know how I got here… I was— I was in the forest one moment and then… and then I—”
“Oh, uh— Yeah, no worries.” Subaru shook his hand dismissively. “You're in Japan, by the way.”
She said nothing. Instead, she merely tilted her head leftwards in a confused childlike manner and said, “Japan?”
“Uh. Yeah. You know, the land of the rising sun.” He attempted to clear her doubts, but each statement he gave made her confusion grow. “Home to Anime and Manga?” He tried once more. At that point, if it were a cartoon, a bunch of interrogation signs would be hovering over her head.
“Sorry, I don't know any place called Japan…” The girl fiddled with her hair as she spoke. “Puck must've forgotten to tell me about it.”
‘Okay, yeah, no, this has got to be a joke.’
There was no way on earth that girl was being for real. Like, actually— How does one manage to be so…—
“Ah.”
He snapped his fingers, startling the girl, as he arrived at a fitting conclusion.
She was playing a character. It felt so obvious in hindsight. Of course, how could he have missed that?
Looking up at her from where he sat on the ground, he couldn't help but feel relieved. Stranger or not, it felt nice to find one other person that wasn't frozen in time.
He'd never actually met a cosplayer, though. Seeing one from up close was… not exactly worth the hype people online talked about. Well, it could very well just be the fact that he wasn't acquainted with the source material.
Hm. Was there any convention going on in Hakodate? He hadn't found anything when he'd googled the place before coming. Maybe something clandestine, then.
Curiosity welled up inside him and he couldn't help but give into it. It wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?
"So, uh..." Subaru pushed himself up from the ground, dusting off his pants. "What convention are you here for?"
The girl blinked at him, those violet eyes wide with incomprehension. "Convention?"
"Yeah, you know—" He gestured vaguely at her outfit, the fantasy-game aesthetic of it all. "Like, a cosplay event? Anime convention? That's why you're dressed like that, right?"
She looked down at herself, then back up at him, her confusion only deepening. "I'm... sorry, I don't understand what you mean by 'cosplay.'"
'Wow. She's really committed to this.'
Subaru couldn't help but be a little impressed. Most cosplayers he'd seen online would break character pretty quickly when directly asked about it, but this girl? She was doubling down hard. Respect where respect was due.
"Right, right. My bad." He played along, offering a slight grin. "You're, what— an elf? From a game or something?" He pointed at her ears, which— now that he was looking at them properly— were remarkably well-done. Prosthetics, probably. Really good ones. Probably really pricey, too.
"Oh!" Her expression brightened considerably, relief washing over her face. "Yes! I'm a half-elf, actually. Though most people don't really... well." The brightness dimmed a bit, and she glanced away. "It's complicated."
"Half-elf, huh?" Subaru nodded sagely, as if this made perfect sense. "That's pretty cool. So what's the character from? A light novel? Manga? I'm not super up-to-date on every series, but I know a decent amount—"
"Character...?" She tilted her head again, that same confused puppy look from before.
"Yeah, like—" He paused. Was she seriously going to make him explain the concept of fictional characters? "—the person you're dressed up as? From whatever story?"
"I'm not dressed up as anyone," she said, her tone patient but genuinely puzzled. "These are just my clothes."
Subaru stared at her and she stared back. He smiled awkwardly.
'Okay. She's REALLY committed.'
"Right. Sure. Your clothes." He decided not to push it. Maybe she was one of those method actors who refused to break character no matter what. He'd heard about people like that. Weird, but hey—who was he to judge? "So what's your name, then? Or should I guess based on the outfit?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself earlier." She placed a hand over her chest and gave a small, almost formal bow. "My name is Emilia. Just Emilia."
"Just Emilia," Subaru repeated, noting the emphasis. "Got it. I'm Natsuki Subaru. Nice to meet you, I guess?" He couldn't remember any character that fit the criteria, not even after being given a name.
So, a niche series, then.
"Natsuki... Subaru," she said slowly, as if testing the sounds. "That's a lovely name, Subaru-san.”
He felt his face heat up slightly. "Uh— thanks? Yours is too. Very... fantasy-esque."
"Fantasy...?" There was that confused head tilt again.
'Does she not know what fantasy means? Or is she just messing with me?'
"Never mind." He waved it off. This was getting nowhere fast, and honestly? He was too tired to keep trying to figure out if she was genuinely this committed to a bit or if something else was going on.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, I guess.” He said, turning on his heel and approaching his classmates. There, close to Yashiro's feet, the map he'd attempted to snatch from Yashiro's bag earlier hoovered mid-spin on the air.
He leaned in and picked it up from the ground.
“Wait! Where are you going?” Emilia asked him.
He paused, but didn't bother turning around. “To the hotel I'm staying at.” He said after a short while of hesitance.
“Hotel?” The girl asked. “You mean inn— is Subaru-san not from around here?”
Subaru sighed and stuffed his hands back inside his pockets before finally turning around towards her. “Nope. Just a school trip.” After that, he turned on his heel and got ready to leave. “See you around, I guess—”
“Wait!”
His advance was stopped by a tug on his uniform’s shirt sleeve. Subaru turned his head over slowly and looked at her— at Emilia grabbing him by his arm.
“Uh… I'm sorry if this sounds indelicate, but…” she bit her lip, but continued speaking anyway. “... I don't know where I am or how far I am from home. I… don't have a place to stay so…”
Subaru bit the inside of his cheek.
“So you want me to house you?” He finished her sentence for her.
Emilia didn't speak. “I don't mean to be a burden, there's nothing wrong if Subaru-san can't— I just… you're the first person I've seen that isn't frozen, so….”
Subaru looked away. He couldn't bear the look in her eyes.
“I'm sorry, but that isn't for me to decide— the hotel rooms were booked by my school and I can't…” He trailed off, but his intent was clear. He couldn't. He really couldn't let her stay, even if he wanted to. What if time resumed and people found her there? She'd definitely get in trouble.
Besides, as a cosplayer, she should've planned for unforeseen circumstances when attending a convention. Or whatever she was doing at an unknown city dressed the way she was.
“I see…”
‘Please don't sound so sad. It makes me wanna let you tag along.’
“It's okay. I was asking for too much, anyway. I apologise for the inconvenience, Subaru-san.” She lowered her head, apologizing.
He shut his eyes, then opened them again and caught a glimpse of her expression— lost, worried.
Scared.
‘Ah crap. To hell with that.’
“Actually, I think I could let you stay in my room.” He said, then quickly made an addendum. “If that's okay with you, I mean.”
Her expression brightened up impossibly as relief washed over her face.
“Rea~lly?!” She was practically bouncing up and down, until something apparently dawned on her and she went still for a second. “... Is that actually alright, though? I don't want to cause you any trouble, Subaru-san.”
He swallowed. “It'll be fine. I think.”
He'd probably have to lock the door, though. Just in case time resumed when they were sleeping.
A tension he hadn't been able to spot in Emilia before had now been lifted, as it would seem. Perhaps it wouldn't be as bad as it may have seemed.
Subaru exhaled through his nose and began walking. Behind him, Emilia followed not too far behind.
“Thank you, Subaru-san. Truly.” She said.
“You're welcome.” Subaru replied. “Just Subaru is fine, though. You're probably older than me, anyway.”
It was true. She was a bit taller than him— not too much, though, simply a few centimeters— and her overall appearance just screamed to him that she was older.
“How old are you, Subaru?” She asked.
At her question, he paused— wondering whether he should or shouldn't answer honestly— before deciding that it wouldn't really make a difference anyway.
“I'm fifteen. How about you, Emilia?”
She kept quiet at first, too. Subaru suspected her silence was for an entirely different reason, however.
“I’m over a hundred years of age.” She finally replied.
‘Ah. Yeah. In-character response. I should've expected that.’
“That's cool.” He decided to not mention it.
Though, to be honest, she could be a little bit more honest. Didn't he deserve at least that for giving her a place to stay even though it was risky for him too?
Accompanied by the strange girl he'd found in this frozen world, Subaru didn't feel so cold anymore in her company.
. . .
The hotel lobby was as frozen as the rest of Hakodate. Whether he felt relieved or not, he hadn't the energy to tell.
The receptionist stood behind the counter with one hand extended toward a guest, her mouth open in what might have been a greeting or farewell.
A businessman to their left was forever caught checking his watch. A family of four clustered near the elevator, the youngest child frozen in the middle of a toothy grin.
Subaru tried not to look at anyone too closely as he and Emilia crossed the space.
"This is an inn?" Emilia asked quietly, her voice echoing in the silent building.
"Hotel, yeah." Subaru kept his eyes forward, fishing the keys to his room from his pocket. "Same thing, basically. Just… bigger. More modern."
She didn't say anything to that, but he could feel her gaze scanning the lobby— taking in the polished floors, the geometric light fixtures, the glass doors of the elevator shaft. When they reached it, he pressed the button and nothing happened.
…Right.
Of course.
Heat rose through the back of his neck and spread to his face and to the tip of his ears. He glanced toward Emilia minutely, attempting to see her reaction, only to be left more confused by her confused look.
Damn, she was good at her craft.
"Stairs it is, then." He jerked his thumb toward the emergency exit door.
Their steps echoed throughout the stairwell— his tired steps and her lighter, almost careful ones. For a moment, it was the only sound in the world, and something about that made his chest feel tight.
"What floor?" Emilia asked.
"Fourth—” he shook his head. “No, fifth. Sorry."
Emilia nodded without a word. They climbed in silence. Subaru's legs burned by the second floor.
He'd been walking for hours— how many, exactly? His sense of time had gone hazy somewhere between the convenience store and finding Emilia.
All he knew was that exhaustion had settled into his bones like an annoying coat.
When they finally reached the fifth floor, Subaru pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway.
The carpet was an ugly colour— probably burgundy or something like that and the walls were an off-white that tried too hard to look elegant. Every corridor was the same. Just row after row of doors with signs and numbers lined both sides in neat brass plaques.
"Here." He stopped in front of one that had the same number his key did and slid it inside the keyhole before twisting it and pushing the door open once he heard the click.
He held the door open and signaled Emilia to step in first. She smiled and nodded, murmuring a thank you.
She stepped past him into the room, and Subaru followed, letting the door swing shut behind them with a soft thud. The sound felt too loud.
The silence was oppressive enough to make him feel… small.
He took his shoes off and placed them in the genkan near the entrance. Emilia looked at him strangely, but did the same as he did with her own boots in the end.
She mirrored him without really understanding why.
The room was small but functional. It had all the commodities a group of teenagers could need.
“The futons are stored somewhere. I'll go look for them in a minute.” He said, but didn't move.
Emilia stood in the center of the room, turning slowly as she took it all in. Her expression was curious, maybe, but also wary. Like she wasn't sure what to make of any of it.
"Thank you, Subaru." She said it so earnestly that he had to look away.
"Yeah. No problem." He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto a chair, then moved to the desk.
His phone sat there, plugged into the charger in the same spot where he'd left it that same morning— back when the world still moved and he'd been worried about stupid things like not embarrassing himself in front of his classmates.
He picked it up. The screen lit up at his touch, showing the wrong hour— 12:03 pm— in bold white numbers.
Right. That's the time everything had stopped. If he looked at the charge, he'd see that it wasn't fully charged.
And yet, in spite of that, relief flooded through him. That actually worked. His fingers moved on instinct, unlocking the phone and opening his contacts. His thumb hovered over the entry labeled Mom.
Only then did he hesitate. Something heavy and cold pressed down on his gut. He tapped it anyway.
The phone dialed. Once. Twice. Three times. Nothing. No ringing on the other end. No voicemail. Just silence, and then, after what felt like an eternity, an automated message: "The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable."
He removed the phone from his ear, then he stared at it. His chest felt tight. Then he tried his dad. Same thing. His grip on the phone tightened.
‘Of Course.’
"Subaru?"
He turned around only to see Emilia, who stood near the low-profile table, hands clasped in front of her, staring intently at him.
"It's nothing," he said quickly, forcing his voice to sound lighter than it felt.
Something flickered in her expression— worry? Pity? It didn't matter. It was gone when he looked again.
Subaru stared at his phone one last time. The contact photos of his parents stared right back. The power off button’s click was louder than it needed to be. He put the phone back down on the desk and rubbed at his eyes.
‘God, I'm so tired.’
When was the last time he'd felt this drained? He checked his watch out of habit—7:37 pm—but that didn't make sense. He'd been awake since, what, 5 am?
That was only… thirteen hours. Fourteen, tops. He'd pulled all-nighters before. This shouldn't feel so bad.
"We should get some sleep," he said out loud, more to himself than to her.
Emilia glanced toward the window, then back at him. "The sun is still at its zenith, though, should the day still be young?"
Indeed. She was right— outside, the sun was still at its highest point. It had been for the past seven hours. He tried not to think about it. It boggled his mind and just thinking about it gave him a headache.
"Yeah, but…" He trailed off, unsure how to explain the exhaustion pressing down on him. "I don't know. I just feel really tired. Like, more than I should."
She nodded slowly. "I understand."
For a moment, neither of them moved. Then Subaru cleared his throat and gestured awkwardly toward the bathroom. "Uh, there's a bathroom over there if you need it. You can, I don't know, wash your face or whatever. There's towels and stuff."
"Thank you." She moved toward it, pausing at the threshold to look back at him. "Subaru… are you sure it's alright? Me being here?"
He blinked. "What do you mean?"
"I mean…" She bit her lip, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her cloak. "You don't know me. And I'm—I'm imposing on you. If you want me to leave—"
"You're not imposing," he cut her off, a bit more forcefully than he intended. He softened his tone. "Seriously. It's fine. You can stay."
She studied him for a long moment, as if trying to determine whether he meant it. Whatever she saw in his face must have convinced her, because she nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. The door clicked shut behind her.
…He didn't actually know if tap water worked. Did showers work? Probably not.
Man. What a bummer.
Subaru exhaled slowly and sat down on the edge of his bed. His gaze drifted to the window, though the curtains were still drawn.
Outside, the world was frozen. Inside, it was just him and a girl he'd met a few hours ago. Just how weird was that?
He should probably be more concerned about that. About her. About… everything. But he was just too tired to care.
Exhaling heavily through his nose, Subaru set out to look for the futons. They were packed nearly and folded in the same spot the teacher had told them when giving them a rundown on what to do and what not to do when they arrived.
He grabbed two and placed them on the floor at a fair distance from one another before letting himself fall on the one he claimed as his and closing his eyes.
It was strange, wasn't it? That she hadn't changed out of her costume. Maybe she didn't have anything else to wear. That made sense.
If she really had gotten separated from her group— or whatever story she was sticking to —she probably didn't have a change of clothes.
Or maybe she was just being cautious. She was a girl, after all, alone in a hotel room with a boy she'd just met. It made sense that she'd want to stay fully dressed. He couldn't blame her for that.
His eyes felt heavy.
Every blink felt closer to a night of sleep.
From the bathroom, he heard faint rustling he hadn't the strength to question. He finally closed his eyes, and sensations began to blur.
The door to the bathroom opened and from it emerged Emilia— clad in the same robes she'd entered the bathroom with.
“G’night…” he muttered under his breath as sleep claimed him.
If this was a dream, he didn't think that he would want to wake up.
And thus, his time halted too.
. . .
The light noise of snoring was all that could be heard, cutting shamelessly through the silence.
Emilia heard it as soon as she walked out of the bathroom— or what Subaru had said it was. It was strange.
All of it was.
Her steps, carefully as they might have been, still made noise. Too loud in contrast to the world's eerie stillness. Subaru stirred in his sleep and she froze, her heart dropping to her stomach, before he rolled to his side and continued sleeping.
She exhaled, letting out a breath she hadn't realised she was keeping captive.
From the moment she'd opened her eyes to the sight of tall black monoliths, strange boxes with wheels being controlled by strangely dressed people, she had been nothing short of lost.
Or was it just her.
It was… overwhelming. Every building served too many purposes at first glance— she couldn't actually tell what they meant to do since she couldn't read anything the signs said.
Puck had promised he'd teach her how to read and write, but he'd postponed it for so long that it never got anywhere— and then, lost as she was, she felt slightly annoyed at herself for not having pushed harder.
But, even if that was preoccupying, there was something that worried her the most. The blatant absence of mana in the air— no, not absence… it was simply too little, so much that it felt nonexistent— was a worrying thing.
She hadn't felt the presence of a single spirit of any kind since she had opened her eyes to the strange scenery that now surrounded her. Puck wasn't responding, too.
Her throat tightened whenever she remembered that.
Looking down at herself, Emilia balled her hands into fists— tightening them around the fabric of her skirt.
Even if she could call him, that wouldn't be secure. Surely, the exceedingly tiny amount of mana in the air would pose an issue if Puck were to try to materialise.
Emilia finally arrived at where Subaru had laid the other strange floor-bed he'd searched for while she was in the bathroom.
… It looked comfortable. It must be if Subaru's current state is anything to go by.
Instead of going to sleep, Emilia walked around it and headed for the window where she sat with her back turned to it. She brought her legs close to her chest and hugged them tightly.
One more time, he sneaked a glance to where Subaru slept.
He looked so… peaceful. Was that the right word? Probably not, but nothing else felt like it fit when she thought of his earlier expression.
The fatigue in his expression and the dullness of his eyes were obvious to see.
It made him feel frozen, too.
Perhaps he was frozen too, and she wasn't— what if this wall was a dream? What then?
She pursed her lips and looked away.
Emilia shook her head. No, that couldn't be. The warmth that his presence brought in this world that had stopped felt too real to be anything but the indisputable reality.
Amidst the city full of things she couldn't say the fully understood, Emilia thought Subaru was by far the single greatest mystery of all.
It felt rude thinking that knowing he'd given her a place to stay, but she couldn't help but see it that way. It was almost as if he didn't care about anything at all— not because he didn't care, but because he'd already decided it'd be something he didn't like.
He'd even risked letting her stay in his room.
She was no stranger to the term ‘Stranger Danger’, Puck had drilled into her ever since their contract was formed five years ago. It was because of it that she had been hesitant to ask him for housing in spite of her dire circumstances.
It was because of that, that she had felt like a weight had been taken off her shoulders when he'd accepted.
She let go of her legs and looked behind her, seeing the strange city spread out farther than she could see. She felt minute in comparison.
Emilia turned back around and sighed.
Was it wrong that she didn't really mind never going back home?
She had nothing left there. Only the memories she shared with Puck and the hatred of people she didn't even know.
Was it wrong that she preferred Subaru's warmth over the cold she'd been used to her whole life?
Perhaps. But a little bit of selfishness did no one any wrong every once in a while.