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The Low Road

Summary:

HARRIS:
Why am I waking up to a missed call from the commissioner?
OH MY GOD ILYA
You CANNOT put that on your official account!!

Or: Hollanov has gone public, Harris is permanently exhausted, and Troy just wants to get through one dinner without having to hear about Ilya fucking Rozanov.

Notes:

The support I received on my first fic in this series absolutely blew me away. Thank you all so much for reading and for all of your kudos and lovely comments. I'm woefully behind in replying to all of the comments, but I've read every single one and they've all brought me so much joy 💕

But enough of me talking! On to the story!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

NHL Player Safety✅ @NHLPlayerSafetyMontreal
Voyageurs defenseman J.J. Boiziau given game misconduct for fighting after the end of regulation with Cincinnati's Connor Prince.

chels @shanehollers
oh so we're talking about the fight but not the fact that on the national fucking broadcast you could CLEARLY hear prince call hollander a slur right before JJ hit him?? okay, cool…

Carter Vaughan's Stick Tape @sticktapeofficial
replying to @shanehollers
the only reason he felt brave enough to talk shit is because Cincinnati doesn't play Ottawa again until next season

chels @shanehollers
replying to @sticktapeofficial
manifesting Ottawa vs. Cincinnati in the second round of the playoffs so I can watch Ilya Rozanov take out the fucking trash 🙏

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81 🔁 chels @shanehollers

 

 

Harris🥰

Apr 12 4:08 PM
Dude
Ilya:😇
Dude
Ilya:But it's funny!
Ilya:And also true!
That may be, but please, if
you love me, take it down
before I get a phone call
from management about it

Ilya:Or
Ilya:You tell management to call
me

Ilya:And I will explain why Prince
is garbage

Oh, we're all well aware.
But we're supposed to
take the high road, or
something


Ilya:
I choose 'or something'

Just do it on the ice, not
on Twitter


Ilya:
Yes, boss 🫡


Ilya:
I will beat him on the ice


Ilya:
With my stick


Ilya:
Until he cries for his mother

NOT WHAT I MEANT
Just delete the tweet!
And Troy says to tell you
you're ruining our date night


Ilya:
...


Ilya:
Fine

Thank you!!!!!! ❤️❤️🥰🥰
Ilya:Anything for Barrett 😘

 

 

New York Admirals ✅ @NYAdmirals
The road to the Stanley Cup starts TONIGHT! Tune it at 7pm EST/4pm PST to catch the first round against the Cincinnati Falcons! #GoAdmirals

admirals 2k21🏆 @itsmeyagirl
replying to @NYAdmirals
please gay hockey gods let my beloved admirals win because i can't stomach prince's smug fucking face for more than one round 🙏

ellie🏒 @hunterswingman
replying to @NYAdmirals @itsmeyagirl
please let hunter bury that piece of shit once and for all

ellie🏒 @hunterswingman
replying to @NYAdmirals @itsmeyagirl
OH MY GOD

ellie🏒 @hunterswingman
replying to @NYAdmirals @itsmeyagirl
NOT QUITE WHAT I MEANT BUT GO OFF KING

admirals 2k21🏆 @itsmeyagirl
replying to @NYAdmirals @hunterswingman
god damn hunter I was unfamiliar with your game

bri @getskipped
I did NOT have Scott Hunter dropping gloves at the starting whistle and punching the shit out of a homophobe on my 2021 bingo card… but I should have. That's on me, guys.

nhl (taylor's version) ✨ @realevaaa
KIP GRADY YOU BETTER KISS YOUR HUSBAND FOR ME TONIGHT

Kyle @K_Swift
replying to @realevaaa
Don't worry, he's watching the game with heart eyes as we speak

Maria V @maria_villanueva
replying to @K_Swift
ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING THE FUCKING GAME WITHOUT ME?!?

The Kingfisher ✅ @KingfisherNYC
Half-off our specialty cocktail, The Scott Hunter, for the rest of the night!! For no particular reason…

Rach 🎀 @moonbeamin
replying to @KingfisherNYC
the kingfisher is the only bar in nyc, actually

Eric Bennett ✅ @EBennett_Goalie
replying to @KingfisherNYC
Half off on a game night? This is a terrible way to run a business. Who owns this place?

The Kingfisher ✅ @KingfisherNYC
replying to @EBennett_Goalie
😘😘😘

Kip @skipgrady
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie
Kyle. We talked about this. You can't use official bar socials to flirt with your husband anymore

The Kingfisher ✅ @KingfisherNYC
replying to @EBennett_Goalie @skipgrady
booooo you're no fun

Kip @skipgrady
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie
You wouldn't be either if you'd seen what I saw the time you used the wrong accounts for your DMs

admirals brainrot @hunthunthunter
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie @skipgrady
NOT ERIC BENNETT SEXTING OVER TWITTER DMS IM FUCKING CRYING

Kyle @K_Swift
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie @skipgrady @hunthunthunter
I needed him to start posting about the bar reopening. Had to incentivize him somehow 🤷‍♀️

Kip @skipgrady
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie @K_Swift @hunthunthunter
oh my god

Kyle @K_Swift
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie @skipgrady @above
What?! I didn't post about it on the official account!

Kip @skipgrady
replying to @KingfisherNYC @EBennett_Goalie @K_Swift @hunthunthunter
gee… thanks…

 

 

Kip🌙💙

Apr 20 7:14 PM
Does me needing to book a
flight to Cincinnati tonight
constitute an emergency?

Scott:Kip. We're married. The
credit card isn't for
emergencies. It's just a
credit card.

Scott:Also, yes. Huge emergency.
[Attached Image]
See you in a few hours 😘

 

 

NHL Player Safety✅ @NHLPlayerSafety
New York Admirals Center Scott Hunter given game misconduct for fight with Cincinnati's Connor Prince in opening seconds of playoff series.

admirals 2k21🏆 @itsmeyagirl
replying to @NHLPlayerSafety
that wasn't a fight that was a fucking execution

sisi @thatssoselena
replying to @NHLPlayerSafety
hello @PeopleMagazine I have a suggestion for this year's sexiest man alive

admirals brainrot @hunthunthunter
replying to @NHLPlayerSafety
when I tell you I SCREAMED

ellie🏒 @hunterswingman
replying to @NHLPlayerSafety @hunthunthunter
prince was as shocked as you were. did you see his fucking face? you know, before Hunter rearranged it

admirals brainrot @hunthunthunter
replying to @NHLPlayerSafety @hunterswingman
[prince-hunter-fight.gif]
new reaction image just dropped

chels @ shanehollers
kinda cute that Hunter's only other real fight was with Hollander, and now he's fighting for his honor

sj @shaydenstan
replying to @shanehollers
in the biz that's what we call character development

chels @ shanehollers
replying to @shaydenstan
I feel lowkey vindicated for shipping them after that fight happened

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @shanehollers @shaydenstan
shipping them as what? great grandfather and great grandson??

chels @ shanehollers
replying to @shaydenstan @rozanov81
oh my god. how did you even find this? i have like 2 followers

sj @shaydenstan
replying to @shanehollers @rozanov81
behold: Ilya Rozanov, most jealous man alive

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @shanehollers @shaydenstan
me? no. everyone else is jealous of me. have you seen my fiancé?

sj @shaydenstan
replying to @shanehollers @rozanov81
hold on what

chels @ shanehollers
replying to @shaydenstan @rozanov81
your fucking WHAT?!?

 

 

Shane💖

Apr 21 9:57 AM
So Rose just sent me an
interesting article

Link: Ilya Rozanov Reveals
Engagement to Shane
Hollander

Ilya:Congratulations!! 🎉
🙄
Ilya:Rose monitors your Twitter
mentions more closely than
you do
Everyone monitors my
Twitter mentions more
closely than I do

Ilya:You said it was okay to tell
people!

Not quite what I meant,
but okay

Ilya:Are you upset, moya
lyubov? I cannot tell over
text

No more than usual 😘
Ilya:Good 😘
Ilya:Save tears for tomorrow
when we beat you 5-0

Dick

 

 

NHL Player Safety✅ @NHLPlayerSafety
New York Admirals RW Carter Vaughan fined $2,000 for fight with Cincinnati's Connor Prince in Game 2 of playoff series

Gloria Grey ✅ @Grey_Glo 🔁 NHL Player Safety✅ @NHLPlayerSafety
I love my husband 💕

#LGNYC @gayhockeyfann
sometimes an ally is a man willing to get thrown out of a playoff game for punching out a homophobe when his team is already winning 6-1. Carter Vaughan, thank you for your service 🫡

reeeebecca @beepthemeep
jfc Carter Vaughan really said no one is going to out do me not even Scott Hunter

Kendall 🌺 @uhhhpuck
replying to @beepthemeep
Scoring a hat trick on them and then punching Prince in the face was fucking legendary. Put that boy in the Hall of Fame.

Shane's Ginger Ale @hollanville
replying to @beepthemeep @uhhhpuck
today Connor Prince tomorrow Roger Crowell

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81 🔁 Shane's Ginger Ale @hollanville

 

 

Harris🥰

Apr 24 7:02 AM
Ilya why am I waking up to a
missed call from the
commissioner

ILYA
Ilya:🥰🥰🥰
Ilya. You CANNOT put that
on your official account.

Ilya:[Attached Image]
Ilya:YOU JUST RETWEETED IT
yeah well he's not my boss 💅🏻
Ilya:😠😠😠
😘
Take it down!
Ilya:FINE

 

 

Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OttawaCentaurs
Put a W in the books! Your Ottawa Centaurs scored a huge win tonight at home in Game 3 of the series, putting us at a 2-1 lead over Montreal! Tune in or join us at home on Friday for Game 4!! #GoCens

Yasa Ava 👑 @caethari_aeduria
replying to @OttawaCentaurs
centaurs ahead in first playoff run in a decade ✨ connor prince being beaten to a pulp on the daily on my tv ✨ all things are possible through the power of gay hockey ✨

Evie @projecthailevie
replying to @OttawaCentaurs @caethari_aeduria
This timeline was created for me, specifically

 

 

Locker Room Roundup ✅ @LRROfficial
OP-ED: Hollander and Rozanov are definitely changing the game, but maybe not for the better. (Read More)

 

Locker Room Roundup:

Opinion: The Hollander-Rozanov Relationship Continues to Cause Havoc with Fans and Teammates

by Chuck Matthews, Associate Columnist

It's officially been a month since the biggest NHL headline in recent memory hit newsstands. In case you somehow missed it, a FanMail video created by a teammate and shared widely across social media revealed that Shane Hollander, Captain of the Montreal Voyageurs, and Ilya Rozanov, Captain of the Ottawa Centaurs, are involved in a romantic relationship. Speculation ran rampant across the internet for several days before the two confirmed the nature of their relationship, leaving the details vague, stating only that they've been together for 'several years'.

The two captains were temporarily removed from their teams' rosters in the aftermath of the reveal, leading to a threatened boycott by various NHL and AHL players and organizations. After being held for ransom, the NHL quickly returned the players to their teams, but was that the right call?

As a lifelong hockey fan, I have to admit, the entire affair has left a bad taste in my mouth.

It's not as if there's no precedent for professional athletes being benched for issues stemming from their personal lives. In recent years there have been numerous cases of players being pulled from games for bad behavior off the ice. DUIs, affairs, scandals — it can all earn you some time on the sidelines.

Except, apparently, if you're Shane Hollander or Ilya Rozanov.

It's undeniable that these two are incredibly skilled players, making them as fun to watch as they are unpleasant to play against. But should being blessed with all the right hockey genes really be sufficient justification to place them above reproach? Shouldn't they be subject to the same rules of decency as the other players in the league?

In a sport that still has a dress code for team travel, it seems implausible that a scandal as shocking as the one Hollander and Rozanov have found themselves in could possibly be swept under the rug. And yet, that's exactly what's happened in recent weeks. After a few short days on the bench, both players were returned to their teams, so quickly and with so little fanfare that I was certain I was missing something. After everything that happened in March, how could the League just move on so quickly?

I'm not the only person who feels this way. While I was working through my own tangled thoughts on the matter, I decided it might be beneficial to talk to those who have had a front row seat to this whole saga: Hollander and Rozanov's teammates.

"It's a betrayal of trust" said a Montreal player who wished to remain unnamed. "[Hollander] has been lying to us for who knows how long. Things can't just go back to business as usual after that."

Multiple players went on to express concerns about Hollander and Rozanov's abilities to remain neutral during their ongoing series, given the nature of their personal relationship. Since the two haven't clarified the timeline of their involvement, it's natural for players and fans alike to wonder how long they've been together, and the impact that may have had over the years. Have they ever gone easy on each other? Thrown a game when the other needed the win more?

"It's a huge distraction," said another player. "We're playing against his [partner] for the Stanley Cup right now, how could it not be a distraction? We all just wish it could be about hockey, and not this media circus."

With Game 4 on the horizon, I can't help but agree.

For me, hockey has always been a means of escaping everyday life. As a lifelong Guardians fan, Novabank Arena has always felt like a home away from home; a place where I could go to forget about the troubles of the real world. A place where we could all set aside the fraught divisiveness of today's society, just for a little while, and be a community.

But Hollander, Rozanov, and their posse of vigilantes, have opened the door to dysfunction, widening the cracks between us with their campaign to punish anyone who disagrees with them. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think your personal or political views should determine your right or ability to enjoy your favorite sport, or support your favorite team. Which, much like the Voyageurs, leaves me asking — why can't it just be about hockey?

[Editor's note: we reached out to the Centaurs players to get their thoughts on the events of recent weeks, but did not receive a response.]

 

 

chels @ shanehollers
Hi so this is insane

Shane's Ginger Ale @hollanville
replying to @shanehollers
There truly is just no helping some people

sj @shaydenstan
Wow people will literally call anything journalism these days. What the actual fuck did I just read

hollzee @champayneproblems
WTF ARE THESE QUOTES FROM THE VOYAGEURS??? HELLO YOU HAVE SCORED 8 GOALS AS A TEAM SO FAR IN THE PLAYOFFS AND HOLLZY SCORED FOUR OF THEM AND HAD ASSISTS ON TWO MORE

chels @ shanehollers
replying to @champayneproblems
Right??? That team is literally nothing without him

#LGNYC @gayhockeyfann
of fucking course he's a toronto fan. I just know he was defending d*llas fucking k*nt before he caught charges

chels @ shanehollers
replying to @gayhockeyfan
exactly!! probably spewing the same "why can't it just be about hockey" bullshit too

Rach 🎀 @moonbeamin
"[partner]"??? anyone else out here wondering what the fuck unnamed homophobe #2 called rozanov??

reeeebecca @beepthemeep
"we just wish it could be about hockey" okay comeau i just know that was your whiny bitch ass that said that

Dylan Myers @d_myers47
I've been a voyageurs fan for over three decades now, so I know how fucking shit they were before Hollander got here. I've stuck with them through years of terrible hockey, but this is for real about to be the thing that makes me give up on them for good

rae-rae 👣 @getthispolin
Awful fuckin brave to give anonymous off the record statements, meanwhile at home you've got championship rings on display that Hollander won for you

rip voyageurs @montrealunoffical
Wild to act like they're the first opposing players to ever have any kind of personal relationship. Players get traded all the time and play against entire teams they used to be a part of, and nobody accuses them of throwing games

M~I~A @saltedackles
Anyone who's going to accuse Hollander or Rozanov of throwing games for each other is fucking stupid. Like have you even seen them play against each other??? They're both out for blood

Evie @projecthailevie
replying to @saltedackles
Truly and honestly I love that for them. I think it's healthy to be so competitive with your spouse that you want to grind them into a pulp anytime you're pitted against each other

Tanner T. @tanner_torres
replying to @saltedackles @projecthailevie
As her husband, can confirm

 

Wyatt Hayes ✅ @Wy_Hazy
@LRROfficial @ChuckMatthews Hey asshole— what the fuck do you mean we refused to comment? We ALL responded to your biased, idiotic questions. If what we had to say didn't fit your narrative, just fucking say that. But don't ever imply that a single person on this team doesn't have our Captain's back 1000%. This is garbage "journalism" and you should be fucking sued.

Petra (she/her) @cenzzzzzz
replying to @Wy_Hazy
Holy shit if Hazy is pissed this shit is serious

rose landry's oscar campaign @sid_williams
replying to @Wy_Hazy
Oh I am so fucking seated for Cens response to this

Kendall 🌺 @uhhhpuck
replying to @Wy_Hazy
Popping my popcorn waiting for Ilya Rozanov to appear in the comments

 

 

Shane💖

Apr 26 4:28 PM
Ilya:Hi, moy pomidor. What are
you up to?

Hi
I already saw it
Ilya:I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
Ilya:Where are you? Can I come
pick you up?

Just at the hotel
Ilya:Hotel is stupid. I tell you
this over and over

Ilya:Come to the house. I
promise I will not say one
word about playoffs or
hockey or anything

I thought it was important
to stay here for the team.
Be a good captain, or
whatever.

But fuck it, right? I'm a
fucking traitor either way,
so who even cares anymore

Ilya:Shane…
Ilya:Answer the phone. I am
worried

Sorry, I'm fine
I mean, I'm not. I'm
upset, but it's whatever

Ilya:No. Not whatever. Of
course you are upset.

Yeah
I'm packing up my stuff.
Can you come get me?

Ilya:I'm on my way
💙

 

Harris🥰

Apr 26 4:42 PM
Ilya:Harris.
I know
I'm working on it
Ilya:Harris.
Ilya:I am doing that internet
thing you told me about

Ilya:Crashing out
Ilya:HARRIS
HOLD ON
GIVE ME 20 MINUTES
Ilya:Ok. 20 minutes.
Ilya:19
Ilya:18
NOT HELPING

 

Harris🐶😘🍎

Apr 26 4:53 PM
So…about dinner
Troy:NO
Troy:WHAT DID HE DO NOW
Well, nothing yet
Did you see the Locker
Room Roundup article?

Troy:Hang on
Troy:WHAT THE FUCK
Troy:I GAVE A STATEMENT FOR THAT
Troy:EVERYONE DID
I know
I approved them with
management and sent them
over to them

Troy:This is fucking bullshit
I know
I'm going to post everyone's
statements, just waiting for
management to give the go
ahead

I mean, I'm doing it either
way. But I'll let them pretend
like it was their call.

Troy:You're so hot when you're
full of righteous anger 😘

Troy:Want some help?
Yes please 💜
Troy:I just finished my workout.
Just gotta shower and
change and I'll be right up

Oh no, I can't possibly
wait that long

You have to come up right
now while you're still sweaty
and shirtless

It's very important to the
cause

Troy:Who said I was shirtless?
You always are in my head
Troy:[Attached Image]
Troy:Your wish is my command
Troy:Be right up 😘

 

 

Ottawa Centaurs ✅ @OttawaCentaurs
An article from @LRROfficial and @ChuckMatthews is currently circulating online, stating that our players were contacted with questions about the changed team dynamic in the wake of the public outing of our Captain, Ilya Rozanov. The article reported that our players refused to comment.

There is frankly no other way of putting this: that is a bald-faced lie.

In the interest of providing full transparency, the statements given by all of our players are accessible via the link below. The answers have been edited to censor language, but otherwise have been provided in the exact form in which they were provided to this alleged journalist.

(Link)

 

LRR Request for Statement:

  1. Now that it's been confirmed that Rozanov and Hollander were carrying on a relationship in secret for an extended period of time, how does this call into question their leadership positions with their respective teams?

  2. Not disclosing this information to their organizations was obviously a huge breach of trust. How do the two captains begin to go about rebuilding that trust with their teams/organizations now that their deception has been brought light? (Continued)

     

Player Responses:

Wyatt Hayes: You and your organization both retweeted the FanMail video to your followers, effectively forcibly outing Hollander and Rozanov to your (inexplicably) large audiences. How do you and Locker Room Roundup begin to go about rebuilding trust with your readers? Do you think it's possible to do so once you've so blatantly set aside journalistic integrity and human morality in the pursuit of money and notoriety?

Zane Boodram: This is f—king asinine. Harris do I seriously have to answer this bulls—t?

Evan Dykstra: There was no trust lost, so there is nothing to be regained. Neither Rozanov nor Hollander has done ANYTHING that requires explanation or forgiveness. You, on the other hand… (Side note: Harris, does this f—king a—hole show up for post game interviews? If so, Chouinard and I would like to have a word with him next game if you wouldn't mind pointing him out.)

Vincent Young: Who the f—k does this guy think he is?

Luca Haas: Coming out is one of the most deeply private and intimate moments of a person's life. It's not something that should be treated lightly, and it's absolutely not something that should be used for entertainment purposes. The phrasing of your questions implies that Hollander and Rozanov owed anyone an explanation of their sexualities or personal relationships, which is categorically untrue. They had no obligation to share that information with ANYONE before they were ready to do so. To act as if they are lesser human beings for wanting to keep their personal lives to themselves, especially when this is the response they knew they would receive, is abhorrent. Shame on you and your organization for continuing to tear down these two esteemed hockey players who have done absolutely NOTHING wrong.

Nick Chouinard: (Harris—can you rewrite this into something usable? Or just send it as is, I don't actually care.) This f—king question is trash, your f—king organization is trash, and you, as a human being, are also complete f—king trash. My only consolation is that your journalistic legacy is going to be writing s—tty f—king op-eds for the rest of your life at a cut rate e-magazine that no one reads. I hope your parents are f—king proud.

Erik Holmberg: I'm not sure if you're willfully ignorant, or actually just that f—king stupid. But either way, f—k you.

(Continued)

 

[Note from Harris Drover - Ottawa Centaurs Media & Outreach Coordinator] - At the urging of Centaurs' management we have made the decision to exclude Troy Barrett's statement from the materials provided. To be frank, his quote would likely be completely unusable given the nature of the language used in his response.

 

 

audrey @mrslucahaas
Holy shit Harris Drover doesn't play around

nhl (taylor's version) ✨ @realevaaa
I love media trained Hazy and Haasy giving corporate professional fuck you answers, meanwhile Holmberg and Young just literally said fuck you with their whole chests

court ✨ @chiron4president
lmao Chouinard said "harris can you rewrite this into something usable" good lord nick what did you expect harris to do? magic???

Harris Drover 🍎 @harrisdrover17 🔁 court ✨ @chiron4president

⋆。the pitt spoilers。⋆@apiculturista
ALLEGED JOURNALIST HARRIS DROVER I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH GIVING YOU A VERY RESPECTFUL HANDSHAKE

Troy Barrett ✅ @tbarrettofficial
replying to @apiculturista
thin ice but I'll allow it

Beckett @boodsbbqs
Troy Barrett and Harris Drover are officially my "going scorched earth on twitter" power couple

🌟🌟🌟 @hazyskneepads
THE NATURE OF THE LANGUAGE USED TROY BARRETT WHAT DID YOU SAY

Yasa Ava 👑 @caethari_aeduria
replying to @hazyskneepads
Okay this is crazy because it's not like the rest of them weren't swearing up a storm. like what the fuck did he say that was so much worse???

centaurs era ⛸️ @mfstarboi
Harris I will pay you all of the $97 i have in my checking account to post Troy's statement I am literally BEGGING

 

 

Harris🐶😘🍎

Apr 26 5:48 PM
Troy:[Attached Image]
Troy:Can I post it?
Troy:The people are literally
begging

NO
Remember how we're
supposed to be working
on rehabilitating your public
image?

Your quote would definitely
not do that

Troy:I think it would do exactly
that

You insulted his mother,
Troy.

Troy:All I said was that she'd
raised a terrible human
being and should be
ashamed of herself

Troy:Which is true!!!! You
agreed with me!!!

Maybe…
But let's not test it
Troy:What if I took out the part
about his mother? Then can
I post the rest?

Why must you make my job
difficult

You're just like Ilya
Troy:TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT
NOW

😘
Troy:I'M ALMOST DONE WALKING
CHIRON AND WHEN I COME
BACK TO YOUR OFFICE I
EXPECT A FULL AND VERY
CONVINCING APOLOGY

I'll see what I can do 😉

 

New York Admirals ✅ @NYAdmirals
Your Admirals dominated in the first two series games against Cincinnati, and now we're back on home turf for games 3 and 4! Puck drop tomorrow at 1pm EST! #GoAdmirals

 

holding space ⋆☾⋆ @strawbenny
[embedded video]
lol if your own fans are burning your jersey in front of your OWN ARENA it's time to pack it in

Mac🎧@elder_fansie
replying to @strawbenny
moment of silence for poor Connor Prince who has to go to nyc tomorrow and might even see a gay person in the wild

holding space ⋆☾⋆ @strawbenny
replying to @elder_fansie
oh no he's gonna be so triggered rip

 

bri @getskipped
jfc the resale prices on tickets for tomorrow

ellie🏒 @hunterswingman
replying to @getskipped
everyone's hoping for prince getting his shit rocked: round 2 electric boogaloo

bri @getskipped
replying to @hunterswingman
girl I know that's why I'm trying to get tickets

 

The Kingfisher ✅ @KingfisherNYC
Can't get tickets to tomorrow's game? Come watch your @NYAdmirals put the beat down on Cincinnati with us!

Kyle @K_Swift
replying to @KingfisherNYC
@skipgrady is this one okay?

Kip @skipgrady
replying to @KingfisherNYC @K_Swift
✅ approved

Maria V @maria_villanueva
replying to @KingfisherNYC @K_Swift @skipgrady
I still like the one where drinks were $0 off for the 0 goals and assists Prince has so far in the playoffs

Matti Jalo ✅ @MattiJayNHL 🔁 Maria V @maria_villanueva

Carter Vaughan ✅ @CVaughan19 🔁 Maria V @maria_villanueva

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81 🔁 Maria V @maria_villanueva

Maria V @maria_villanueva
replying to @rozanov81
Ilya you don't even go here

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @maria_villanueva
What do you mean? I love the Admirals. Scott Hunter is my favorite octogenarian hockey player.

Scott Hunter ✅ @Scott_Hunter
replying to @rozanov81 @maria_villanueva
Wow. Should I be flattered you learned the word octogenarian just to insult me?

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @maria_villanueva @Scott_Hunter
Did not learn it for you. Shane is very boring and uses very big words like this all the time.

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
replying to @maria_villanueva @rozanov81 @Scott_Hunter
Why am I being dragged into this

 

 

Shane💖

Apr 29 2:36 PM
Ilya:stop checking Twitter
Ilya:you have big hockey game
in 20 minutes

YEAH. AGAINST YOU
Ilya:I know
Ilya:I want you focused
Ilya:Makes it more fun when I
beat you

🙄
Ilya:Why are you texting?
Ilya:Shouldn't you be doing pre-
game meditation?

Just trying to look busy
Locker room is… you know
Ilya:I'm so sorry, moy lyubimyy
It's fine
Next season should be better💙
Ilya:Shhh, is supposed to be a
secret

Ilya:Do not put in writing
Ilya:Someone could leak our
texts

Who would leak our texts?
You?

Ilya:Maybe
Ilya:After the sex tape
Idiot
Good luck😘
Ilya:You too💙

 

 

NHL Radar ✅ @Hockey_Updates
Montreal squeezes out 4-3 victory over Ottawa, series now tied 2-2

 

 

Centaurs + Shane

Apr 29 6:27 PM
Bood
[Link]
As much as it pains me to
admit it, this is going to be
goal of the week

This was fucking killer,
Hollander. Just wish it hadn't
been against us

Young
Can't believe Wyatt couldn't
stop that thing

It was only going at the
speed of light

Wyatt
Young maybe if you actually
scored a goal once in a
while, I wouldn't need to

Young
Go fuck yourself, Hazy
Wyatt
😘
Shane💖
Oh, thanks guys
Ilya:he thinks this is a trap
Shane💖
No I don't!
Ilya:then why did you just text
me "is this a trap?"

Shane💖
Would it actually kill you to
keep your mouth shut for
once?

Troy
Yes.
Ilya:Probably 😘
Haas
Not a trap, it really was a
great goal!

Harris🥰
Wait I made a gif of it!
[Hollander-goal.gif]
Troy
is this why we still haven't
gone home yet???

I scored a goal too, you
know. Where's my gif?

Harris🥰
Sorry babe, yours wasn't as
cool

Troy
WOW
Dykstra
I guess dating the social
media manager really
doesn't get you any special
treatment around here

Troy
He's just mad because I
didn't bring him a latte on
my way in this morning

Harris🥰
I am not!!
I would never carry a grudge
over something so childish

Troy
....wait for it
Harris🥰
But it's right on your
way, Troy!!!!

Troy
There it is
Make Roz buy you coffee,
it's his fault you've been
working so much

Ilya:Not true!!
Ilya:But also Harris I will
buy you all the coffees 😘

Bood
Drinks at Monks in an hour!
Yes, Hollander. You too
Wyatt
Bring Pike and JJ!
First Voyageurs round on
me!

 

The Only Voyageurs

Apr 29 7:02 PM
Shane:[Attached Image]
Shane:You don't have to go, I'm
just passing along the invite

Hayden
Are you going?
Shane:Yeah
Hayden
Won't it be weird, though?
We're in the middle of a
fucking playoff series
against them

Shane:I don't think so, honestly.
They're pretty cool guys

Shane:Good at separating personal
and professional

J.J.
Unlike some people we know
If Wyatt's going I'm there! I
haven't seen that guy in
forever!

Hayden
Alright, I'll come too
But if Rozanov starts shit
with me…

Shane:You act like it's even a
possibility that he won't

 

Shane💖

Apr 29 7:19 PM
You have to be nice to
Hayden

Ilya:Of course I will. I am always
nice to Hayden

Ilya:Hayden Pike is my best
friend

Ilya:He has never once done
anything to publicly
humiliate me

Ilya:Oh, wait...
Yeah, yeah
Ilya:Only consolation is that
starting next season we will
publicly humiliate Voyageurs
every game for forever

Maybe he'll want to come
to Ottawa too

Ilya:NO
Ilya:DO NOT EVEN JOKE
Ilya:HE CANNOT
Ilya:I am calling Farah and telling
her to trade me back to
Boston

Good riddance
Ilya:🥺
😘
Ilya:🥹

 

Worst Pike

Apr 29 9:12 PM
Dude.
You guys need to cool it.
Ilya:?
Ilya:We are not doing anything
Sure...
I feel like I need a fucking
shower

Why the fuck did you sit at
opposite ends of the table?

Ilya:Have you never heard of
foreplay?

Ilya:Your poor wife
Fuck off
Apr 29 10:18 PM
Ilya:Stop playing video of your
very sexy goal

Ilya:Unless you want to go home
right now

Ilya:Or maybe just to alley
EW JESUS WRONG CHAT
Ilya:🖕

 

Centaurs + Shane

May 1 2:40 PM
Ilya:Should I join Fanmail?
Ilya:They keep DMing me
Dykstra
No
Wyatt
NO
Chouinard
oh my god no
Shane💖
Absolutely not
Haas
Yes
Holmberg
I'm with Haasy. Release the
chaos!

Ilya:Thank you, Haas. You are
my favorite

Ilya:I will make you any videos
you want 😘

Holmberg
Gross
Never mind
Troy
I think Harris just had a
stroke

He's in the fetal position
muttering to himself

Ilya:Come on! Would be fun!
Ilya:Harris you always say I
should post more of my
face on Instagram! This
is even better! All my face!

Ilya:Well, mostly
Ilya:😉
Shane💖
oh my god
Troy
Shane it's not too late
to change your mind

Blink twice and we'll get
you out of this

Ilya removed Troy from the chat
Ilya:Don't listen to him, Shane
Ilya:Is much too late
Ilya:No one can save you
Harris added Troy to the chat
Harris
Ilya
If you join FanMail, I will
never bring Chiron to work
ever again

Ilya:WHAT
Dykstra
Damn lol hit him where it
hurts

Wyatt
Proportionate response
Chouinard
Ilya Rozanov found dead in
Miami

Troy
Justifiable homicide
Ilya:Objection!!!
Shane💖
Overruled

 

 

nhl (taylor's version) ✨ @realevaaa
help I'm stuck at work what's happening is connor prince dead yet

sisi @thatssoselena
replying to @realevaaa
five to go in the first. no fights so far but it's getting chippy

Lukas @shoresystan
replying to @realevaaa @thatssoselena
prince is getting into it with one of his defensemen

Lukas @shoresystan
replying to @realevaaa @thatssoselena
bc vaughan slammed him into the boards and his team didn't do shit to retaliate

sisi @thatssoselena
replying to @realevaaa @shoresystan
lmaooo even they don't want anything to do with him

Lukas @shoresystan
replying to @realevaaa @thatssoselena
matti jalo is getting into it with prince and the other winger

sisi @thatssoselena
replying to @realevaaa @shoresystan
GLOVES ON ICE

nhl (taylor's version) ✨ @realevaaa
replying to @thatssoselena @shoresystan
FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M MISSING THIS

Lukas @shoresystan
replying to @realevaaa @thatssoselena
refs broke it up before it went anywhere. penalties all around but no one is getting thrown out

 

#LGNYC @gayhockeyfann
it would almost be kinder to throw Jalo out for the game. Losing 4-0 at the end of the second someone put cincinnati out of their misery already

Mac🎧@elder_fansie
I'm not sure if this is coming through on the broadcast, but I'm in the arena and the entire crowd is booing anytime Prince takes the puck. And I mean BOOING. It's fucking deafening

admirals brainrot @hunthunthunter
Matti Jalo getting a standing ovation for that fight and then taking a bow before he got in the box god I love new york

Rach 🎀 @moonbeamin
replying to @hunthunthunter
someone tell maria to watch out, all of nyc wants to take her man

Maria V @maria_villanueva
replying to @hunthunthunter @moonbeamin
🔪🔪🔪

 

hollzee @champayneproblems
So do we think Crowell has come crawling back to Hollander begging him to call off his attack dogs yet

kaz @shaneageurs
replying to @champayneproblems
I just know he was on the phone thirty seconds into that first Admirals game

hollzee @champayneproblems
replying to @shaneageurs
'uwu i'm so sorry i threatened to end your career after you were publicly outed and no one from the league did anything to defend or protect you until it threatened our ad revenue but please make people stop being mean to my new favorite homophobe'

kaz @shaneageurs
replying to @champayneproblems
Shane Hollander "I don't condone violence" tweet incoming in 3… 2…

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @champayneproblems @shaneageurs
roger crowell calls Shane more than his own mother. But don't worry, I changed his twitter password

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
replying to @rozanov81
Guessed it on the first try. You need new material.

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @shanehollander24
Go away, Hollander. Let me do social media for you. I am much better at it

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
replying to @rozanov81
I'm telling Harris

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @shanehollander24
[Image Description: screenshot of email notification that the account password for @shanehollander24 has been changed]
Silence.

 

Shane💖

May 3 4:31 PM
LET ME BACK INTO MY
ACCOUNT

DONT TWEET ANYTHING
AS ME

Ilya:Dear Twitter, it is me,
Canada's goodest good boy
Shane Hollander. Every
morning Roger Crowell
sends me fake nice email
reminder that I have
reputation to maintain as
good Canadian hockey boy,
and as such it is my
responsibility to speak out
against unnecessary violence

It's such a mystery why
he's never tried to get you
to make a statement

Ilya:You are right. I will make
one now.

NOT WHAT I MEANT

 

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
Hello, hockey fans. Shane is grounded from Twitter for being so boring, so I will make official statement instead. My statement is that Shane Hollander is the best hockey player in the NHL (most of the time). He's a terrible cook, a very good dog dad, and a perfect role model for players everywhere. Recently, a former player called Shane a disgusting and unforgivable slur, and has faced much backlash from the hockey community because of it.

If Shane wasn't in social media jail, he would say that, as a two time winner of the NHL award for most sportsmanlike player, it is important that we all get along, and that we should focus on the things that unite us, instead of the things that divide us.

He would probably also say that he hates bigotry and intolerance in all forms, and appreciates the support we have both received since coming out. It means so much to us that people are willing to stand up for us, even people as old and decrepit as Scott Hunter. The people who have come forward to support us, both on and off the ice, are what make this sport so easy to love. We are lucky to have the community that we do, and we do not take it for granted.

Scott Hunter ✅ @Scott_Hunter
replying to @rozanov81
Unbelievable.

Kip @skipgrady
replying to @rozanov81 @Scott_Hunter
Yeah, Ilya. You should respect your elders.

Scott Hunter ✅ @Scott_Hunter
replying to @rozanov81 @skipgrady
My own HUSBAND?!?

court ✨ @chiron4president
replying to @rozanov81
A FORMER PLAYER IS CRAZY HES LITERALLY PLAYING A GAME IN HALF AN HOUR

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @chiron4president
🤷‍♀️ if you say so

⋆。the pitt spoilers。⋆ @apiculturista
replying to @rozanov81
'Shane would say' okay and what would Ilya Rozanov say???

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
replying to @apiculturista
I am not the role model. I say more violence 😈

 

 

Harris🥰

May 3 5:02 PM
HAVE I DONE SOMETHING
RECENTLY TO MAKE YOU
HATE ME?????

You seriously need to hire
a full time PR manager

I have a heart condition.
I can't handle this

Ilya:I think you should leave the
Centaurs and come work for
me instead

There isn't enough money in
the fucking world

 

Troy

May 3 5:17 PM
Ilya
Please
For just ONE NIGHT
Can you NOT
Ilya:IS A JOKE
Ilya:Shut up, Barrett. Go get laid
I WAS TRYING
I was supposed to be taking
Harris on a date, but now
he's staying at work and I'm
eating alone with Chiron

Ilya:Was all part of my evil plan
Ilya:Come over
Ilya:Bring Chiron for playdate
with Anya

No.
Fuck you.
May 3 5:33 PM
.....we'll be there in 20

 

 

Notes:

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