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Ava was bothered. To be fair, she was usually bothered, but on the particular day it was much worse. Ava had identified her problems of the day to be threefold. Firstly, it was snowing. Secondly, Gloria and Leif had abandoned the diner for the afternoon (one of the unfortunate side effects of their Pasadena purgatory was that those two could just leave), leaving her alone with problem three… Caspar. He sat across from her, an idiotic smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Come on, Ava, look outside!” He gestured vaguely at the windows. “You haven’t left the diner in a month. That can’t be good for you.” Ava sighed and tugged off her glasses. “Don’t you have like… food service-y stuff to do?” Caspar’s smile widened. Why was he so damn smug, and why did her face feel hot. This was not good. She could add that to her growing mental list of problems. “As I said half an hour ago, the Diner is closed for the day. It's snowing, and it's pretty, and you know what, it doesn't snow here much, so… come outside.” She stared blankly. “Well then, guess I’ll just have to enjoy it without you.” He stood, his joints crunching as he let out a characteristic old man groan, (she filed that away to make fun of him for later) and grabbed a thick navy puffer she hadn’t realized was sitting beside him. He looped a scarf around his neck, tossing one end towards his back as he gave her a cute stupid little salute. Turning back to her empty notebook page, she half-registered the door closing and the echoes of the bell that followed. Chewing the inside of her cheek, she absentmindedly tapped her pencil against the table until the lead snapped. Reaching out for a fresh one, she was shocked to find the cup empty. “Damn it, Caspar,” she muttered, and stood up, choosing to ignore the crackling of her own joints. Pulling her sleeves down from where they’d bunched around her elbows, she paced towards the door and threw it open, only to find… no one. “Caspar? Where are you, stupid.” It was quiet besides her squeaking footfalls, that kind of strange, thick quiet that only happens when it snows. “I’m out of pencils, which means you haven’t been doing your job! ... Caspar?” Concern began to tinge her voice. Where the fuck was he? Had something- a snowball hit her cheek, sending her reeling backwards. “UGH!” She yelled in disgust, water dripping from her hair, “I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, CASPAR!!!”
Caspar snickered from behind the only car in the parking lot. Was he being mature? No, probably not. But Ava was pissed, and that was basically an early Christmas present. “RETRIBUTION!” He shouted, as he ran out from behind the car and chucked another snowball at her. This time she tried to dodge, and it hit her in the shoulder. Even from a distance, he could see the wrath in her eyes, and he began to wonder if he had made a mistake. He was pretty sure he had when she charged him. “YOU DUMBASS! You-” Her sentence ended as she tackled him to the ground, both of them crashing into the snow. When Caspar stopped seeing stars and regained his ability to breathe, he noticed that Ava was fully on top of him. Her hands were braced on either side of his head and she was panting slightly. Her hair fell in damp strands, framing her face against the grey sky as they looked at each other. For once in his disturbingly long life, Caspar was pretty sure he had lost his ability to talk. He had definitely lost his ability to form a rational thought. He vaguely felt that he was far too aware of her, of the way her leg rested on his, of the sweat glistening on her upper lip, of the way she was pressed against him, every place they touched feeling electrified and soothed simultaneously. He noticed every detail of her face- those tough, sparkling, calculating eyes, the acne scars and freckles, her dry lips, slightly apart as she studied him as well. All at once, or possibly over the course of many hours, they collapsed into each other. Ava’s lips were on his, and he crushed himself even closer to her as she cradled his face in her hands. He felt her relax onto him, and he combed his hand into her hair as they continued making out with a stamina that left them both surprised. She was the one to break away, shoving her hands into the snow and pushing up, tumbling into the snow behind him. He looked at her, both of their faces flushed, their heavy breathing leaving clouds in the air. She was staring up at the sky, watching the snow fall. He wondered what she was thinking. Did she think she had just made a mistake? Was she disappointed? Honestly, it was unlikely that he was a good kisser, especially not after almost a century. Was she going to yell at him, push him away, pretend it hadn’t happened? Doubts rushed through Caspar’s mind, which they usually did, but now they were crowding in as fast as the quickening flakes. “Ava…?” he lilted quietly. “We… we don’t have to talk about it.” She let out an almost imperceptible huff. Caspar waited, and then looked away, feeling foolish. She let out a breath. “Okay.” Caspar was a bit at a loss for what to do, but Ava apparently wasn’t, because he looked back at her just in time for a handful of snow to slam into his face. Caspar blinked away the powder around his eyes until he could see her face. She was fucking elated. “Ohohoho MAN you look stupid!” She snorted out a laugh, crow’s feet creasing. “You… you motherfucker,” Caspar stammered. He sat up stiffly and glared at Ava, still losing her shit with laughter. But that was fine, Caspar told himself, because this was his moment. With fingers already red from the cold, he scooped up a huge handful of snow, then reconsidered. Instead, he held his arms against his body and used the space as a makeshift basket, awkwardly scooping and piling a mound of snow into it. He stood above Ava, whose eyes were still closed as she shook with laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. She’s gorgeous, he thought to himself. Then, he dropped his armfuls of snow onto her head. From beneath the snow pile came an unholy shriek of fury, something along the lines of “EEEEAAEEAAAUGH!!!!”. Caspar had already started running, but it turned into a sprint when he looked behind him and saw Ava sprinting towards him, murder in her eyes, for the second time that morning. He skidded to a halt mere inches from a collision with the Diner’s exterior wall, and turned in horror to see Ava still running full force. He closed his eyes. This is it, he thought. She’s actually going to kill me. His eyelids flew open as she pinned him to the wall by his shoulders with enough force that he didn’t think she had actually slowed down before doing so. “You little bitch. Your grave is going to say ‘crossed Dr. Ava Maddox like the stupid little bitch he was’ on it!” Caspar couldn’t help a gentle chortle slipping from his mouth. “I… don’t think you can put that on a grave.” She huffed in frustration, clouds of warm air curling from her nostrils like a dragon. “Oh yeah? Watch me.” Her eyes flamed, eyebrows creasing together and sharp breath hissing between her teeth. “Actually, no, I am going to bury you right here in your precious snow, you absolute IMBECILE.” The cold tip of her nose was touching Caspar’s as she scowled. Caspar leaned towards her slightly, asking a question through the tiny movement. She stood her ground, looking straight up into his eyes, easing her vice grip on his shoulders just a little- answering. He leaned down, closing the few inches separating their heights, and kissed her. It was different this time, not hungry, just… warm. Well, he was warm, at least. Ava’s teeth were chattering. He pulled away gently and looked at her, confused. And then he noticed it. “Ah, fuck, Ava. You didn’t bring a coat?” She attempted to retort, but she couldn’t really form a sentence between shivering and her teeth clacking together. “You are…. the worst,” was about all he managed to understand. He sighed, already slipping his arms out of his sleeves. “Here.” He gripped the coat in one hand, and pushed it at Ava. She shook her head, which looked ridiculous because her entire body was shaking from the cold, and feebly tried to push him away as he pulled it around her shoulders. Before she could make him take it back, he jogged away, smiling.
The coat smelled like Caspar. More importantly, she was about to die from exposure. Still, there was no way in hell she was taking it. A small, logical voice piped up in her head, reminding her that she could just go back inside. She shut it down. Surrender was not an option. “I don’t want your fucking coat, Caspar. CASPAR, GET BACK HERE!” He was grinning like an idiot once again, and she was pissed about it. She chose to focus on that anger, rather than whatever tangled mess of emotions had been brought to the surface by them kissing. She stormed towards Caspar, slipping her arms into the coat while she did. This was intimidating. She was being intimidating. He smiled at her, face creasing, his singular dimple on full display. Caspar had a softness to him physically, from his dimpled cheek to his pudgy stomach. It made her want to let him hold her. She was also jealous of it at this moment, because at least he was insulated. All of this crossed some level of Ava’s mind as she stalked through the snow towards him. “Caspar!” she growled, “take your damn coat back!” She reached out to grab his sleeve, and he fucking dodged.
“Nope!”
He was gleeful about it, too. She groaned in frustration and turned to face him. He cocked his head to the side like a curious bird, still smiling down at her. His scarf shifted against the front of his sweater, and Ava saw an opportunity. She seized the ends of his scarf, twisting it in her hand and dragging his face down to hers. He was blushing so hard. Dummy. She glanced at his lips without thinking, before reminding herself of her plan. While he stared at her, she let go of his scarf, and reached upwards. Without warning, she clamped her icy cold hands onto his neck. He jolted backwards, but Ava locked her fingers together, refusing to remove her hands even as she had to stand on her toes. “OW- AVA, fuck COLD!! MOTHERFUCK- LET GO!!!” “NOPE!” she cried back, determined to hang on as long as she could. After another minute or two of wrestling, he managed to drag her wrists away from him. He protectively wrapped his scarf around his freezing neck, glaring at her with mock anguish. “What the fuck, Ava?!” he hissed, tucking his arms against his sides.
She was grinning almost feverishly, her expression triumphant and a little insane. She really did look like a mad scientist sometimes. He probably shouldn’t tell her that, though- it might go to her head. “You…” Ava started, letting the word hang in the air for a beat, “should not have given me your coat, you DOLT.” Caspar rolled his eyes and let out a tiny huff of condensation. It was getting cold, but he didn’t care much as long as she was okay. That was how he always was. If she was okay, then what did it matter? He was always happy just to be by her side, to give her things, to do things for her, to sharpen her pencils and make her coffee. If it never went further, then that was fine. He was willing to give forever, not to get scraps of affection, but because he loved her that much. A flick to his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. Ava was looking at him, brows drawing together, gnawing at the inside of her cheek. She opened her mouth, hesitating. “Caspar… why did- why did you kiss me?” Technically, Caspar thought, she’d kissed him. Perhaps they had kissed each other. But he didn’t want to point that out. He tried to formulate an answer, but all his brain would supply was it’s really cold and you’re really pretty, neither of which were good choices. The silence stretched, and the wind picked up, blowing powdery snow sideways at Caspar. Ava stared at him quizically, or maybe, if he wasn’t imagining it, concernedly. Fuck. He was shaking wasn’t he?
Dumbass. Ava snorted derisively, gently poking his nose with her fingertip. “Come on, Schmoopy. Let’s go back to the diner. You’re clearly freezing.” Caspar made a sound that was probably supposed to be laughter… he was shivering, which made it somewhat hard to tell. “Ok, well, if you’re cold, then I guess… we can go b-back to the Diner.” “Uh huh,” Ava responded, unconvinced. They traipsed back towards the front door, dragging their feet lazily through the snow. “By the way…” she said, calculating her next words, “you lost.” He raised an eyebrow at Ava as he unlocked the door and held it open for her. As she passed by, she caught his eye and smirked. “You lost.” He groaned in annoyance. “Lost WHAT?” She spun triumphantly. “The battle of wills, Caspar! You caved first. You practically begged me for us to go back inside.” Caspar shook his head, a smile of disbelief tugging at his mouth. “Fine, Ava. I lost the battle of wills.” He drew in a deep breath. “Do you want/need some coffee to warm up?” Ava snorted. “I always need coffee, Caspar. I’m the America to coffee’s Dunkin Donuts. I would also like a cigarette.” They both knew he was not going to get her a cigarette, but she liked to ask anyway, just to bother him. She could hear his footsteps receding behind her and yelled, “Hey, Casp? Turn the heat up too. I think it's colder in here than it is outside.” She heard what sounded like a muffled “MHM” from the kitchen. Ava stood numbly in the middle of the diner, trying to think about something other than the way Caspar’s lips had felt on hers. It was not going well, and she was considering hitting her head into a wall or something when she heard another muffled cry. This time, though, she was almost sure she heard “Aw SNAILS.” She sighed. “CASPAR? WHAT HAPPENED?” Caspar emerged from the back. There was a problem. She could tell there was a problem because he had two fingers pressed to his lips, and that only happened when something was wrong. So, it happened a lot. Still, she hated that she knew the signs. “What did you do?” she asked, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.
“Well…” Caspar looked away, trying to think of how best to avoid Ava yelling at him here. “There seems to be something wrong with the thermostat.” She stared at him. “Caspar, you are NOT funny. Turn up the heat.” He sighed. “Would that I were joking, Ava. The thermostat’s broken- the display is dark and the buttons are useless.”
It took another 10 minutes of chilly arguing, and Ava’s attempts to verbally abuse the thermostat into working to ascertain that yes, it was broken. “Well. Fuck,” was Ava’s very helpful contribution to the problem. “Look, Ava, just go back to your booth and I’ll try to figure something out.” She stood, probably weighing her options, for a few seconds before saying “Fine. Bring the coffee.” He followed her back to her booth and plunked down the glass coffee pot as she slid sideways across the red vinyl seat and slipped her legs under the table. He turned to walk away when he felt a hand grab his wrist. “Caspar. It's warm down here.” Caspar scoffed. “What? Ava, the heater is completely busted, what are-”
“Sh,” she said, pointing a finger at his lips. “It’s warm.” Caspar wasn’t entirely sure whether she was right or just crazy, but he slid into the opposite seat. The second he did, a blast of warm air hit his legs. “Holy shit, it actually is. What the fuck?” She smiled smugly. “See? Guess I’m the Diner’s favorite.” He shook his head with a soft snort. “Actually, I think that would be Gloria, but sure.” Ava looked away, sipping at her cold coffee. He opened his mouth, considering asking her to let him stay, but he closed it again. She needed her space, and he wasn’t going to push his luck.
As Caspar stood up to leave, Ava felt a jolt of… something run through her- annoyance? Longing? Fear?- and “wait!” tumbled out of her mouth. Fuck. He looked back at her, clearly taken aback. “Do you… need something?” Of course he would ask that. No, she didn’t need anything, she just… wanted him not to leave. Why was she always so scared he was going to run away? And why did he always seem to want to? Why couldn’t he just stick around, why couldn’t he just- “stay here. It's… I don’t want you to be cold, okay?” God, spare her the fucking theatrics. It wasn’t a rom com, she just… needed him there. For body heat. It was purely practical. “We both know you’d hate to leave my side anyway, schmoopy.” It was supposed to be snarky, but a warmth and affection that she hadn’t expected poked through. He smiled. A genuine grin, and his whole face just glowed. How was that even possible? How could someone even have a smile like that, and not even realize it? All of a sudden it occurred to her that she had been staring at him for far, far too long, and she whipped her head down to her still-empty notebook page. “Go get us some blankets or something, dummy.” Caspar didn’t argue, and a few minutes later he had seemingly collected every quilt, throw, and sleeping bag the Diner had. “You know,” Caspar mused, striding back to the booth with his arms full of blankets, “if Leif wasn’t busy drinking mulled wine with Gloria or whatever they’re doing, we wouldn’t have this problem.” Subconsciously, Ava thanked both Leif and Gloria for not being there. For all her griping, a part of her could admit that she didn’t mind spending some time with Caspar. It was a small part, and she wasn’t exactly pleased with its existence, but still. “Well, if you hadn’t made us go outside, we also wouldn’t have this problem.”
“Yes, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to see your face after I hit you with a massive snowball.” “Ohohohoho, so that’s how we’re playing it, huh? Well then maybe it was worth it, juuust to see your face after I hit you with a palmful of snow. Total deer in headlights!”
Despite themselves, they both started laughing. When it subsided, they locked eyes once more, electricity crackling between their gazes. Caspar cleared his throat, shattering whatever spell had been passing between them. “So, how are we gonna do this?”
After a few minutes of discussion, they came to the conclusion that it would be best to turn Caspar’s collection of blankets- “nearly every blanket,” he told Ava proudly, “I only left Gloria’s duvet because I don’t have a death wish”- into a nest underneath Ava’s booth. By they, they had actually meant him, because he ducked underneath her table and arranged everything while Ava sat cross-legged on her bench, helpfully reminding him of how cold she was and that “it’s not rocket science, Caspar.”
He fiddled with the placement and tucks until he had successfully created the best, and only, blanket nest of his life thus far. He sat back with an uncomfortable series of creaks and pops from his joints, surveying his comfortable kingdom. “Caspar?” he heard from the table above him, “did you die or was that just you moving?”
He scoffed. “Your concern is touching, truly. No, I’m fine… Also,” he added, “pot, meet kettle. You think I don’t hear the dawn chorus of crunching bones when you stretch in the morning?”
“Why Caspar, you wound me. Is this how you repay me for allowing you to be in my booth?”
He reached an open hand towards her from his spot under the table. She let a few seconds pass before slipping her chilly hand into his warm one. He grasped it and pulled her downwards, making her hit her head on the metal edge of the table. “OW, fuck, Caspar!” She shimmied underneath the tabletop, glaring at him in the dim light.
“Ah, shit, sorry Ava.” He brushed a hand over her forehead in concern, letting it rest on one side of her face, and she found herself leaning closer to him. He shifted his fingers experimentally, tucking a still-damp strand of dirty blonde hair behind her ear.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
“Yeah I…” her mouth felt dry suddenly, and forming words seemed much more difficult than normal. She could see him just enough to make out his gentle smile. An overwhelming urge to kiss him again hit her, and she half-fell, half-leaned into him, drawn into his gravitational field like an asteroid, and planted a kiss on his lips. His hand combed into her hair and he pulled her closer. She let the moment stretch and then pulled back, smiling despite herself, and tapped her pointer finger to his bottom lip. “I’m feeling better,” she drew back further, slumping onto her hands,“no thanks to you, dumbass.”
He chuckled.
This was a new side of Ava, at least to him. He considered asking her if she had sustained some kind of serious head injury during their time in the snow. Instead he motioned to the drifts of blankets around them. “Well, besides the brain damage, what do you think?” She nodded vaguely, glancing around, like she was trying to quantify something. He crawled towards the wall and flopped against the blankets he had piled there, tucking one around his shoulder, and conspicuously looking everywhere except at Ava. To his surprise, a few seconds later he felt her sidle up next to him. He looked down at her, mouth slightly agape, and she rolled her eyes. “I’m cold, Caspar. So I’m making you my heater.” He nodded slightly, and she turned her head, seemingly satisfied with that. He reached behind her to draw a couple of blankets around her shoulders, and she snuggled against his side, placing her head on his shoulder with a gentle huff of either annoyance or satisfaction. He tried his best to stay calm, despite being confused as fuck, and tugged the blankets around her before slipping his arm to rest behind where their sides met. He wished he could wrap it around her, to clutch her waist or even just to hold her hand, but he knew pushing her would only make her want to run away. Instead, he carefully rested his head on hers.
They sat like that for what felt like hours, and Ava let herself drink in his warmth, and the smell of him: dampness from the snow and a hint of coffee, but also something uniquely… Caspar. Everything just felt so much easier with him, and her mind quieted for the first time in what felt like decades. She would never admit to him that she liked having him there, liked his body next to hers and his hair brushing against her neck. She wouldn’t tell him that she was willing to let him in forever, no matter what, even when parts of her screamed to shut him out. And if the only way she was able to do that was to let him give her coffee and sharpen her pencils, then so be it. She would let him. Not because she was using him for something, but because she loved him that much. No, she wasn’t going to tell him any of that. Not until hell froze over like Pasadena.