Work Text:
I don't wanna talk about things we've gone through. Though it's hurting me, now it's history. I've played all my cards and that's what you've done too.
The winner takes it all, the loser's standing small beside the victory. Playing by the rules, why should I complain?
It was a bit of a stupid thing really, bidding on people. Buck would have been more pissed if it wasn’t for charity. Or maybe he’d be a little more forgiving if he wasn't the thing being bidded on, well, him and a basket of food.
Also, maybe he could have been more accepting if Eddie wasn’t standing beside him on the makeshift stage they’d built in the middle of the station. The only thing worse than random people paying money to take them out to eat food, was random people paying money to take Eddie out to eat food. Buck was scowling, and from the front row around his proud smile, Chimney mouthed, ‘stop scowling.’
Buck shaped his lips into what he thought resembled a smile, but it didn’t really feel like it. Not genuinely, anyway. The truth was, standing here in the station, after everything they’d been through, after the weeks Eddie and Chris had been gone, and losing Bobby. After Chimney being promoted to captain, and Hen taking leave, Buck didn’t want a random person to walk around the station, and pick a place for them to go on an impromptu date. Maybe he was still scarred after the whole threesome thing.
Part of him was just glad that Eddie had come home, and was even standing beside him at all. Buck still missed his best friend, more than a lot, but if Eddie wanted space, all Buck wanted was to honor that.
“Buck, stop making faces.” Chimney stage-whispered again, calling Buck’s thoughts back into the room. Unfortunately, he zoned back in just in time to hear his number be called.
“Next up, #5, Buck… Buckley?”
A chuckle snorted out of Eddie and he dipped forward to press a finger to the underneath of his nose, playing it off like a sniffle. “Buck, I think you’re supposed to write your real name.” He whispered, leaning over and saying the words in Buck’s ear. Buck suppressed the shiver that rose out of his spine at the feeling of Eddie’s breath on his ear, and tilted over to whisper back, “did you write Edmundo?”
The smirk he got in response told him he was right, that both of them had used their nicknames, and when he turned back to the audience with his lips pressed together, he let his eyes focus on Maddie as the announcer continued. She was smiling at him a bit grimly.
“#5, Buck Buckley, his basket has homemade lasagna (Buck was annoyed that the announcer didn’t read the “his own recipe” that followed that), along with a loaf of Sardine bread, and two cokes.”
“Sardine bread?” Eddie asked, leaning back over with a raised eyebrow and Buck rolled his eyes. “You should see my fridge. I need to get rid of it somehow.”
Eddie just shook his head with a smile on his face, like this was normal Buck behavior and he was glad he had a front seat.
“How about we start the bidding at $10-” The announcer didn’t even get through his sentence before a paddle went up and someone called, “$15.”
This, this was why Buck hated it. How was it that people could just walk into the station, say that it was for charity, and then auction off firefighters to go on dates with strangers? He tried to ignore the way Eddie teetered beside him when another paddle went up. He wasn’t sure how he was feeling about this, he couldn’t start wondering how Eddie felt. That would be a rabbithole of the feelings Buck had been harboring for his best friend for months. He hadn’t really thought about what he’d said to Tommy that morning since it happened. Until he moved out, and he wasn’t roommates with the Diaz boys anymore, and he realized he had an Eddie-shaped pit in his stomach. When Eddie came over with Hen to dance, he told himself the gooey feeling in his stomach was because his backyard was getting some use. But that was just another lie on the stack, like how when Maddie asked if he was in love with Eddie and he had said no.
Wait, shit, he wasn't supposed to admit to himself that it had been a lie, and definitely not on stage when women were paying money to take him out. Suddenly, Buck was extremely aware of the jealousy in every part of his body. Aware of how badly he wanted to rip the paddles out of the hands of everyone in the audience and carry Eddie home to his house. He turned to Eddie and they made eye contact, something terrified was painted on their glances, and inside Buck a voice whispered, ‘no..’
“$50.”
It took Buck a long, long time to realize that he hadn’t imagined the way Eddie’s lips moved when the words hit his ears. The audience shifted as confusion and whispers spread through the crowd. From the seat beside Chimney, Hen dropped her head into her hands and murmured, “oh, for the love of god.”
But the only thing Buck saw was Eddie. The only thing he felt, heard, saw, smelled, was Eddie Diaz, standing in front of him with a careful look on his face. He looked scared, and all at once Buck knew it was because of him. Here he had been, telling everyone he wasn’t pining for his straight best friend, but now that very best friend was pining for him.
“Uh… what?” The announcers, Harry and another probie, stuttered through matching anxious laughter and then turned to the audience, to Athena. “W-what?”
“Unless anyone else wants to bid.” Eddie offered, turning to the audience with crossed arms and a terrible impression of a friendly smile. Buck grinned, finally removing the fake expression from his face and letting his true feelings take over. Chim had a less-than-thrilled look on his face, but Buck felt like jumping up and down clapping. He felt like a kid again, excited to see a valentine from their crush on their desk after recess. He turned to see Eddie step back from where he’d been waiting for someone to dare question him, then he walked over and took Buck’s basket. He didn’t return to his spot on the stage, just dropped a crisp $50 dollar bill into the announcer's hand, and then continued walking until he was out of the station and Buck heard a car start. Meanwhile, Buck was standing there frozen as everything dissolved into chaos. Harry and Cathrine spoke over the mics telling everyone to find their baskets and their boys, and thanked everyone for attending. It wasn’t until Athena walked up beside Buck and placed a hand on his shoulder, that he realized this wasn’t all a dream.
“Go get your basket, Buck. And your boy.”
Eddie blinked at Buck like the words had come out of his mouth and not his own. He hadn’t meant to, really, he hadn’t, but when he saw the blonde in row two hold up her paddle and say she wanted Buck, it had brought something to the front of his mind he didn’t know was there. Jealousy.
He’d told himself that any feelings he’d had over the past months had simply been from the fact that he had worked beside Buck for the past 7 years. They told each other everything, and when he’d realized he was gay, something inside him realized he was horrified at the idea of telling Buck. Even though they were best friends, had barely spent one week apart, his body was humming with nerves. Eddie thought it was ridiculous, but since he couldn’t stand being around Buck from fear of the Buck-shaped pit in his stomach, he avoided him. He closed his eyes and ignored the hurt expression on Buck’s face when he passed up on talking to the dead ghost of Bobby, and moving him into his new house. Frank had said that being afraid to tell your male acquaintances about your new-found sexuality could be scary, and Eddie found it was. Buck was his best friend, if he didn’t accept this part of him, Eddie didn’t know what he would do. It wasn’t like he was in love with him. That was a stupid assumption that Harry had made that day in the kitchen. It didn’t mean anything.
“Ok, guys, I want to run something past you.” Chimney said, taking the roast beef out of the oven, and passing it to Ravi, who began to pull the pieces apart and place them on a tray. Eddie spilled spices over it and then scooted it over to Buck to place on top of the bread. Next it traveled to Harry, where he added tomatoes, boiled eggs and lettuce.
“Let me guess, more beef?” Harry asked, stacking another done sandwich next to the others. It went to one of the new driver engineers, Kenneth Laou, who reminded Eddie of the teacher-guy from Karate Kid.
Eddie waved goodbye to him as he took the sandwich and then he leaned over to Buck to whisper. “I think I overseasoned that batch.”
“It’s fine, he could use some spice in his life.” Buck murmured back with a smile on his face and Eddie couldn’t help but laugh.
“Hey. How do you know good ‘ole Kenneth doesn’t go back to a skinny, 19 year old blonde, who listens to Billy Joel unironically, every night?” Eddie asked, eyebrows up in suggestion as he hit his hips into Buck, sending them both swaying.
Buck leaned forward with a laugh, placing a hand on the counter as he doubled over. He clutched his stomach as he belly-laughed. “Ohmygod, Eddie.”
Satisfied that he’d gotten a laugh out of Buck, Eddie turned back to see that his tray had stacked up and he shook his head with a groan as he spread salt and pepper and another unknown seasoning through it.
“Guys, are you even listening?” Chimney asked, rolling his eyes at Buck and Eddie, and they both turned to pay attention with matching pouts.
“Yes.” Eddie and Buck both said at the same time, and it sounded so fake, it was kind of funny. They both turned to each other with big smiles and began nudging each other with their elbows like kindergartners in the snack line.
“The department wants us to do a Boys Basket to raise money for the children who lost their stuffed animals in the Timbers Fire last week.”
Eddie nodded, he’d been in the group of firefighters who were set up to talk to the kids and entertain them. A lot of them seemed really upset about their teddies and Eddie could totally see how sad it all was.
“Well, obviously I’m out.” Ravi commented as he placed another sandwich straight into the hands of another colleague of theirs.
“Yeah, cause you’re already shacked up.” Harry said with an eyeroll. “It seems a little unfair that I’m the only single one to do this.”
Everyone stopped moving except for Buck, he continued singing Chappell Roan to himself and moving the assembly line along. After a moment he noticed that everyone had frozen, and his eyebrows dipped down in the middle. “What?”
“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, turning to Harry in confusion, but Harry only looked more confused at the question.
“What do you mean?”
Eddie pointed at himself, then at Buck. “We’re both single too?”
Harry’s eyes got wide and he almost dropped the sandwich he’d been holding. “Well, not since you moved out, Buck? I thought-” He pointed a spatula at the two of them, drawing lines in the air like a fairy or something, and Buck and Eddie both immediately began waving their hands.
“No, no, I mean, we’re just friends-”
“Yeah, uhm, he’s straight and-”
“Well, that’s, uh… anyway. Buck just went through a lot with that couple.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
And that was the end of it. They just ignored it, and were only a little awkward around each other after that.
All because of… Harry.
Shiiiiiiit. Why had Eddie said that he wasn’t gay? Why, why, why-
But then Buck was staring at him with wide eyes and hope, god, there was hope mixed with the blue.
So he, maybe a little passive-aggressively, asked if anyone else wanted to bid, and then walked to Harry, slipping a $50 out of his wallet that he had been planning on using to buy Thai for tonight. Then he headed straight for his car. He couldn’t really stand anything else public right now, especially because he had the basket. He waited for a minute, wondering if he’d made it clear that Buck was supposed to follow him, but after a moment, he looked up and there he was .
The first time Eddie saw Buck had been when Bobby introduced them with, “meet your new partner.”, and Eddie had thought, ‘not the worst person to spend every day with. Maybe we’ll end up friends.’
But then Buck had hated his guts, and every move Eddie made felt like he was stepping on the toes of the people who had come before him. It felt like everything he did was wrong. He wanted to show everyone he could make it, that he was worth having, but with Buck out for blood, it didn’t work out well. Then they had removed a live grenade from a man’s leg together and ever since then, the time they spent together felt like dancing. No stepping on toes, no trying to be amazing to fit the mold. Just taking the floor like they owned it. And it was funny, Eddie thought he hadn’t danced since he gave up ballroom dancing. He’d loved it growing up, then his parents had made it all about winning trophies and it began to feel like too much for him. But dancing with Buck never felt like that, it felt fun and exciting and Eddie had never felt so comfortable. He felt like he belonged . Little did he know they would become the closest friend he’d ever known, and little did he know he would fall in lov-
His car door opened and then slammed shut as Buck climbed into his front seat, turned to him and said, “Eddie, what the fuck is happening?”
Eddie froze like a deer in headlights and tried for a casual smile as he started his car. “Oh, you got both of our baskets.”
Buck stared down at his lap with wide eyes and then turned his gaze back to Eddie’s. “Uhh, yeah, they didn’t know what to do with it so I gave them $20 and ran away.”
Eddie laughed, easy and light like he wasn’t in the middle of a big, confusing confession. “Great, I was worried we’d eat all of your basket.”
“Right, uh, we… speaking of that actually-“
Eddie turned to him with a tortured expression. “Buck, can we get home before you have a freak out?”
Buck opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “Home?”
Eddie settled back in his seat, and tried to remember how to fucking drive. His brain was having some difficulties at the moment. Since he’d momentarily blacked out on stage, he was just now remembering what he’d done. He’d sorta just… come out to everyone before he even admitted to himself. Admitted… not thought. Maybe he’d known for a long time. Maybe he’d always know but deep down didn’t let himself-
“I’m gay. That’s my first time saying it, but I feel like I should, since I kinda just told all those people.” It was like the words had a mind of their own and ran from Eddie’s mouth with joy. It pissed him off, but Buck seemed surprised.
“Wait, y-you ?”
Eddie kept his eyes on the road and put on his signal, he really should have pulled up the directions so he didn’t forget while his brain was breaking, but his toxic trait was believing that he could drive in any condition. He had been an Uber for about 1 ½ days.
“Yeah, me.” Eddie said it with a shrug, but he knew how important this moment was. He just couldn’t face it, he had to treat it like he’d just told Buck he’d bought more mayo or he’d actually break down. He took another left, then a right, and tried to convince himself he was fine, but Buck was breathing weird beside him and it wasn’t helping. “Buck, are you hyperventilating right now?” He turned to him, concern dripping from his expression like sweat on his brow. He was worried, and scared he’d messed everything up and-
“Eddie, can you pull over?”
“Yeah, of course.” Eddie found a strip on the side of the road that had some grass and a little tree. Buck got out, leaning over like he was going to puke, and Eddie patted him on the back when he reached him.
“Hey, Buck, are you-” He didn’t get to say the entire last word before Buck was standing straight and kissing Eddie. Buck was… kissing him.
And, fuck, there went Eddie’s idea of going home to eat. Buck was slipping his tongue along Eddie’s bottom lip and he knew what that meant. He opened his mouth just a smidge for Buck, but he slid right in like it was home. Every part of Eddie felt hot, like they were dancing again and goosebumps littered the nape of his neck. His hair hung in his face, pressing against Buck’s forehead as the kiss deepened. Buck was turning his head to get a better angle, and Eddie was following him down the rabbit hole, sure that they really were all mad here. This couldn’t be real, it had to be a dream, one like what Buck had seen. Like a coma, or-
Buck’s mouth stopped and he held his face back to stare into Eddie’s eyes. “I really hope this is real.”
God, they were even reading each other's minds.
“I think it’s been real for a long time, Buck. We were the ones dreaming.” Eddie was mesmerized by the dark heady look in Buck’s eyes. How they looked like a storm over the ocean, calling the waves to toss more violently, bidding the water to lick at the beach an inch more. Maybe Eddie wasthe beach, and maybe Buck was the water. He pressed their mouths back together, forcing his hands to Buck’s sides and pulling him closer and closer. Buck tripped in the thick grass, but Eddie held him stable, finally strong enough to tug at him like he wanted. He secretly thanked Chim for accidentally putting doubles on his workout the other day. Then Buck was kissing him, devouring him like he was the last edible thing on earth. Eddie loved it, he loved him . He didn’t want this to stop, but air, breath, called them to a halt. Buck was panting, holding his forehead against Eddie’s sternum like a child. Eddie had never been the same size as his partner before, and feeling Buck’s weight on his chest reminded him that this was reality. Everything that had just happened had really just happened.
“Fuck, I’d pay $70 dollars to do that again.” Buck’s voice was low, and husky, and it made Eddie want to kiss him again.
“We can do that for free anytime you like.” Eddie whispered, his body was kind of freaking out, making him want to grab Buck and kiss him until he forgot he’d ever been repressed. It made matters worse when Buck smiled with the dorkiest little grin and tucked their hands together.
“Eddie, uhm, we should probably get back in the car.” Oh, yeah, they were on the side of the road. Eddie’s mind was having trouble keeping up, so he walked with Buck to the car, opened his door for him, and then went around to his side. The extra few seconds gave him some time to think, which was nice because none of that had really been happening. Eddie thought about all the times he’d seen this. He didn’t like imagining kissing Buck, since they were just friends, but he had no control over his dreams. It had never been like this… on the side of the road after Eddie kinda sorta confessed in front of the entire department and a ton of random people. And the entire 118. When he climbed into the car, he set his forehead against the wheel and let out an unbelieving chuckle. Wow, he’d really done that… He would literally never live it down knowing Athena and Chim. He could see it now, them seeing Buck and Eddie walking into work together, and people heckling at them. Maybe Ravi would finally sing something by Taylor, like Lover or another one of her albums. At their wedding, when Eddie-
Wait.
He sat up from where he had been lying on the wheel and turned to see Buck watching him carefully. His hair was messy, and his mouth was slightly open, and it took all of Eddie’s self-control to not grab him again.
“Are we getting married?” Eddie asked, pursing his lips and trying to think of when would be a good time.
Buck blinked for a moment, confused and probably really concerned for Eddie’s well-being, but then he was answering. “Oh, yeah, I don’t think I’m going to ever break up with you… unless you were planning on-”
“No. I’m gonna be with you forever.” Eddie whispered quickly, and Buck’s smile was back, bright and butterfly inducing. Eddie leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Did we just get engaged?”
Buck shook his head with a laugh and his eyes met Eddie’s. “I think we’ve been engaged for a long time.”
“We’re kinda stupid.”
“But we got there in the end.” Then Buck kissed him again and Eddie’s mind forgot to breathe, because kissing Buck was the air he needed in his lungs.
Rules must be obeyed, the judges will decide. A lover or a friend, a big thing or a small. Someone dear,
the winner takes it all.