Chapter Text
The first time it happened, she was confused but wrote it off as a fluke. It was early spring now, so something must have fallen off a nearby tree at just the right, or wrong, moment. She almost hadn’t even noticed, the slight tickle in her throat only mildly worse than what she’d been feeling the last few weeks. Stupid tickle. It hadn’t developed into anything more than that yet - and it wouldn’t. Obviously. Because Yelena didn’t get sick.
The last time she could remember truly being sick was about two months before that fateful day in Ohio. She’d been allowed to stay home from school and Melina had made her soup to soothe her aching throat. She remembered Natasha cuddling on the couch and watching cartoons with her once she got home, fingers combing comfortingly through her hair.
But that was the last time. After that, even a sniffle was a liability. A sick Widow was a dead Widow. So no, Yelena didn’t get sick.
This day though, as she was walking down the sidewalk away from Kate Bishop’s apartment, she couldn’t stop the sudden coughing fit that overcame her. It was gone as soon as it started, but at the end of it there was a small cluster of tiny white flowers in her palm. She knew that her mouth hadn’t been open while she was walking, but at the same time, it must have been. And some stupid flowers fell into her open mouth. Probably. Because that was the only explanation she could think of - the only thing that made any sense in the moment. So she dropped the tiny flower cluster, wiping her palm on her pants before continuing on her path.
The second time it happened, she was more confused but hadn’t yet noticed any connection. It was about a week later and Kate Bishop had invited her to get brunch, since she was in the city for a little bit longer. They met at some place in Brooklyn with a little outdoor seating area, the weather unexpectedly warm that weekend. Yelena questioned the need to go so far out, but Kate insisted that it was worth it because this place had the best pancakes.
They chatted amiably over the pancakes and drinks - mimosas, at Kate’s insistence, as they were “a brunch staple” - talking about everything and nothing at all. About halfway into the meal, Kate had made a stupid joke, smiling widely at her, and Yelena smiled back in spite of herself, even as she exaggeratedly rolled her eyes. When she returned her gaze to Kate’s, she was still looking at her with a soft smile on her face, her blue eyes sparkling where the sunlight reflected off of them. Yelena couldn’t help but be mesmerized for a few moments before realizing what she was doing, clearing her throat and grabbing her drink for something to do while she tried to remember what they were talking about.
But clearing her throat just seemed to aggravate the stupid tickle as it reappeared full force, more insistent than it had been all week. She quickly took a swig of her drink to try and curb the feeling, but all that served to do was induce a full coughing fit. Kate sprang up to grab her a glass of water, but the coughing thankfully stopped before she got back, and Yelena was left with a small handful of thin, purple flower petals in her hand.
“What the fuck?” Yelena muttered under her breath as she let the tiny petals fall out of her hand. She looked at the drink she was still holding in the other and decided some flower petals from the surrounding plants must have fallen into her drink without her noticing. Even though the opening of the glass was quite small and she didn’t see any purple flowers nearby, it had to be the case, right?
“Everything okay?” Kate asked, returning with the water, “You look-”
“I am fine Kate Bishop,” Yelena interrupted, swallowing hard as she schooled her features, wiping away the confusion and concern in an instant. She set down her drink glass and grabbed the new one from Kate before gesturing to the chair opposite her, “Thank you for the water. Now please, sit. You were just explaining something about your upcoming tournament, yes?”
The third time, she didn’t have any explanations.
For the last month, Valentina had been giving her jobs primarily in the states, often in or near enough to New York. But as she had been expecting, her time there had finally come to an end - she was headed to the Netherlands the next day, and who knows where after that.
“I know you were having fun with your new little friend. Kate, was it?” Valentina prodded after giving Yelena a file containing information about her new target along with a ticket to Amsterdam. Yelena kept her face stoic, barely refraining from a sigh of annoyance. “But I need you clearheaded for this one. No distractions. You’ll probably be in Europe for a while, so get your affairs in order. You’ve got an early flight.” With that, Valentina patted Yelena on the shoulder and left the room, Yelena following at a distance so as to keep herself from strangling the woman.
Thankfully, Yelena didn’t have many affairs to get in order. Other than packing her meager belongings and stashing the few she couldn’t take with her, the only remaining question was Fanny. She didn’t want to put her poor girl through an international flight if she didn’t have to. And boarding her for an indeterminate amount of time would be difficult to do last minute. Thankfully when she called Kate Bishop, she found her more than happy to help.
“It will only be for a short time, I promise. I can ask Sonya to-” Yelena started before being cut off.
“No, really! I can keep her for as long as you need,” Kate insisted, grabbing the leash from Yelena’s hand, “She’s a good girl, and she and Lucky already get along. Plus, it’ll be good for him to have a buddy while I’m at class.”
“Are you sure? When I say a while, I really don’t know if that means three months or over a year. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to reach out in the meantime.” Yelena felt herself deflate a bit at the notion. She started to feel the urge to cough, but she forced it down to continue speaking, “It’s a lot to ask…”
“Yelena, I mean it, I love Fanny and am happy to take care of her.” Kate spoke slowly and emphatically to make her point clear, causing Yelena to chuckle warmly in appreciation before her laugh suddenly caught in her throat, the urge to cough starting to grow again. She covered it by setting down Fanny’s bags on the counter, clearing her throat as she bent down to pet her girl one more time before she left.
“I’ll miss you малышка,” she told Fanny as she he combed her fingers through her thick fur. She buried her face in Fanny’s fluffy coat for a long moment before forcing herself to pull away, Still looking at Fanny in the eye, with her hands loosely grabbing the sides of her face, she addressed Kate, “Just don’t feed her too many treats, I don’t want her getting too spoiled. And no human food. I know you think pizza is appropriate to feed Lucky, but it’s definitely not for my Fanny-girl.” She gave the akita a quick kiss to the top of the forehead before finally standing back up.
Kate’s mouth dropped in mock offense, “I do not- I mean yeah he had a little of my pizza last week, but that’s not what I feed him regularly!” Yelena just gave her an unimpressed stare and Kate sighed, “Yeah, okay, okay, I won’t give Fanny any pizza.”
“Or?”
“Or too many treats,” Kate finished with a soft laugh. Yelena nodded affirmatively before turning to the window - her preferred method of exit.
“Well, I suppose that’s it then,” she said as she approached the window, turning to Kate when she got there, who she was not surprised to see had been following close behind her, “Goodbye Kate Bishop. I will see you soon enough. Until then, I will miss our ‘girls’ nights.’” She offered a small smile, intending to turn and leave immediately, but was caught off guard by Kate opening her arms.
Yelena hesitated for a short moment, but couldn’t bring herself to deny Kate’s silent request, tentatively stepping forward and accepting the hug, though she couldn’t resist rolling her eyes slightly as she did so. She tried to ignore how warm she felt in Kate’s embrace, or how well they seemed to slot together. Still, she felt herself relax into it for just a moment before the urge to cough came back stronger than before. She gagged a little as she tried to suppress it, ultimately wrenching herself free of Kate’s grasp as she was no longer able to hold it back and a coughing fit overtook her once more. She gripped onto the windowsill with one hand, feeling like something was stuck in her throat and fighting its way out.
“Shit, are you okay? Do you need water or something?” Kate asked in a mild panic. Yelena could only nod in response, Kate, taking that as a yes to the second question, ran to the kitchen. Finally, one final cough pushed out the intrusion and Yelena was left to watch in wide-eyed horror as a small, five-petaled, blue flower fell to the ground in front of her. Before she had time to register what had happened, she heard Kate starting to return, so she scooped up the offending flower from where it landed and closed her fist around it - not sure what to make of it, but knowing that letting Kate see it would lead to a lot of questions she didn’t have any answers to.
She didn’t stay long after that, downing the glass of water before uttering another quick goodbye and disappearing out the window. She pretended not to hear Kate calling out “I’ll miss you” as her boots hit the pavement.
This time Yelena had no explanations - no convenient nearby plants to blame, since Kate Bishop didn’t have any and she wasn’t outside at the time.
Only after questioning it for a few long hours that night, staring down at the crumpled petals in her palm, did she finally remember the first two occurrences and realized there had to be a connection there. Once was a fluke, twice was a coincidence, but three times? Three times was a pattern. She decided to do a few minutes of internet sleuthing to see if it amounted to anything, and to her surprise and chagrin, she found an answer almost immediately.
Hanahaki. The disease of unrequited love.
It seemed absolutely ludicrous - a disease so rare and so beyond reason that most people dismissed it as a hoax or sheer fiction. But in a world with aliens and wizards and magic gemstones that rewrite reality, maybe it wasn’t so far outside of the scope of possibility. It still seemed completely absurd though. Besides, she didn’t love Kate Bishop, right? Kate was her friend. One of the only real friends she’d ever had since Ohio, and the only current one outside of some of the freed Widows. And she wasn’t going to ruin that with something as stupid as love.
So no, unrequited love was a bullshit explanation. Unfortunately, it was also the only explanation she had, and even more unfortunately, it meant she was probably dying. Of lovesickness and flowers.
So not a cool way to die.