Work Text:
"Wow. Nice set up.” Lohen, polearm in hand, carries himself towards the young Ratnik, who is blowing a bellow to start the fire. “Honestly, I could travel around Wavechaser Plain all day and take down every single monster in the vicinity.”
“But you need to eat first.” Illuga sternly tells the man.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” The knight drops his polearm to the side of the tent, squatting down by the fire. “That’s why I’m stopping for now. So what’s our meal for tonight?”
Illuga gets up, his eyes staring at the dark and starry sky. “We ran out of the extra rations. I suppose we didn’t bring enough.”
“Oh.” Lohen intones. “Should I go hunt for some animals around here? Would it be ethical to kill and eat a Radiant Beast?”
“Don’t…” Illuga’s voice trails. “Well, we can’t. You killed most of the Radiant Beasts here, until there was nothing left.”
“What should we do then?” He hums, as if he couldn’t care less in the world.
To which Illuga sighs, but it’s no big deal. He already has an idea. “Stay here. I’ll go grab something. Be right back!”
Lohen sits back on the small log near their camp and lays comfortably. He doesn’t think too hard about it, but he won’t lie that the thought passed his mind. What could Illuga possibly be taking back to their camp? Are there boars nearby? Or perhaps he’ll pick some boring old mushrooms to roast? Maybe he’s going to collect bugs under a few rocks and fry them? Whatever it is, it doesn’t really bother the knight. He can’t afford to be picky when he’s always out and about.
“Okay, I’m back!” Illuga calls from afar. A few glowing lights are held in his arms.
“Oh, you’ve got more light sources for us.” Lohen stands up from his seat to help Illuga carry the rest to the camp. “So where’s the food?”
“Huh?” Illuga questions the man. “This is our food.”
Lohen squats down to look at the ‘glowing lights’ below. Oh. If he can recall, these little lights are called ‘mandragora?’ But if that’s the case, what is Illuga talking about? Where is the food that he is mentioning? Is there a hilichurl camp nearby? Are they going to wipe them out and eat them?
“... Ohhh.” Lohen places the bottom of his fist in his hand. “I get it. I didn’t think the yellow things on top of their heads were edible…”
“Yeah, they are!” A sweet smile is expressed on Illuga’s face, nearly causing the latter to faintly blush. “Whenever I run out of food here, I sometimes eat these. It’s a little bitter at first, but the acidity of the liquid is kind of refreshing! It’s like drinking a Fonta.”
“I see.” Though Lohen is not a huge fan of Fonta, he accepts regardless. “I can cut the tops of the mandragora in a flash, so just let m--”
STAB!
Illuga jabs a skewer through the tiny mandragora. It’s face is still showing a cute smiling expression, as if it doesn’t feel anything. Subsequently, the Ratnik places the mandragora over the fire, as if he’s roasting a marshmallow. The skin and the color of the mandragora become darker and darker, wrinkling its skin until you can’t see the face anymore.
“Uh--” Lohen irks. “Hey, wait-- Illuga? Is this ethical? I thought we only cooked the top part…”
“Oh, no. I eat the full thing.” The Ratnik grins. “Their bodies are quite delicious! You should give it a try.”
“Uh…” Lohen looks at the mandragora impaled through Illuga’s skewer. The face is no longer visible as it turns to black. “Are you sure..? Don’t you think they look a little too cute to be cooked?”
Illuga gazes at Lohen as he removes the skewer from the fire. “Not really?”
Lohen had never been so conflicted before.
Illuga’s gaze is now fascinated on the mandragora, but he’s missing out on whatever expression Lohen is currently wearing. He can’t even wipe it off his own face.
Lohen always thought Illuga was kind of on the tame side. I mean, compared to him, he’s as gentle as a little bird. Sure, he’s fierce and commanding. That’s his job. But Lohen had always compared the Ratnik to being something like a harmless animal, all bark and no bite. In his mind, he was kind of like a squirrel..? Or something cute like that. He always berated Lohen for getting reckless or fighting on his own. He was the cautious one while Lohen was the maniacal fool. But this time, he almost wanted to laugh at how the tables had turned.
He never thought there would be a day in which he would be the one to look at Illuga with mild concern.
It was never a concern to be eating the Wild Hunt monsters. He didn’t care about eating hilichurls either. He didn’t even bat an eye while eating cicins. They were all just ugly monsters in his mind. But this? Mandragora? The cute little things that help you solve puzzles? The tiny lights that guide you through the dark? The creatures with cute faces on them? Why on Teyvat would Illuga want to eat these guys?! Lohen is more bothered by the fact that Illuga would dare eat such creatures that aren’t even half as ugly as the other monsters.
“... What are you doing? Sit down.” Illuga instructs the knight, handing him a skewer. “After all that fighting, you must be hungry.”
“I…” Lohen hesitates for once. Illuga is way more fiercer than he thought. How could someone like him eat such adorable things? He’d literally rather eat a large Geo slime.
“... Don’t tell me you’re picky?” Illuga sets down his half-eaten mandragora and takes the skewer from Lohen’s hand. He stabs another mandragora through the stick again without mercy and hands it over to him. “You can just eat the top if you’re scared. The body has the texture of a Midsommar Torte if you really think about it. Just give it a try.”
“... Scared?”
Scared? Scared. Lohen? No, that’s not possible. Lohen knows that rarely anything can scare him now. Every single challenge he faces, he must get over them. He hates the feeling of falling behind. So be it. Fine. Who cares if the mandragora has a cute face? Who cares if it feels morally and ethically wrong to cook a mandragora and eat it? Honestly, who cares? Not Lohen. Not Lohen at all.
He places the skewer over the fireplace and watches the color turn grotesquelly black. They cook very easily, but Illuga insists that it has to keep cooking to boil the liquid inside the top of their heads. As soon as the bubbles show, Lohen quickly takes it off the fire and blows the smoke away from their direction. It looks completely burnt, but according to Illuga, it's supposed to taste better that way. So be it.
“... Let’s see who can eat the most mandragora.” He flashes a grin at the Ratnik. “Are you ready?”
“Huh? Wait--”
“Too late!”
And with that, Lohen takes off and bites off the glass part of the mandragora’s head. It almost feels like a sugar sculpture in his mouth, with edges as sharp as glass. But it doesn't matter. He quickly sips the liquid, and as expected, it’s bitter. But Lohen keeps eating. He chomps, chomps, and chomps… until…
.
.
.
Lohen is at the hospital.
It came as a shock to the both of them. Lohen, shortly after eating one mandragora, violently threw up and started feeling intense pain in his stomach. As it turns out, that ‘acidity’ Illuga described would’ve burned Lohen’s intestines. It felt as if something was tearing the insides of his stomach, to which Lohen had admittedly enjoyed the feeling. But Illuga made haste and snapped him out of it, rushing him back to headquarters. After carrying him all the way to Piramida, an unexpected guest visits the two in the resting area.
“You are very lucky, Mr. Lohen.” Nicole, a familiar guest in Nod-Krai, speaks to the young knight inside their minds. “Had it not been for this young Ratnik, you wouldn’t have made it alive… Or, actually, I’m pretty sure you would’ve been fine regardless. Grandmaster Varka told me how tough you are. The kuuvhaki didn’t cause you too much pain, right?”
“I… I didn’t know…” Tearing up, Illuga slumps down on Lohen’s bedside. “That was terrifying. I really thought you were going to…”
“I can imagine Varka screaming and crying when he ingested the kuuvhaki. That’s funny.” Lohen chuckles lightly, still laying down with his hand in Illuga’s. “Okay, but I still find this ridiculous. You can ingest kuuvhaki like it’s nothing? You’re way more powerful than I thought. It’s kind of frustrating...”
“Yes… When you’re done talking with Lohen, Illuga… Please come to me. I have a lot to talk to you about.” Nicole smiles, heading for the door. “It’s been a long night for you two. You must be exhausted. I won’t blame you if you want to talk in the morning, just let me know.”
“Thank you, Miss Nicole.” Illuga gives her a nod before she inevitably walks out. He turns his head towards Lohen again, furrowing his eyebrows. “Stop doing that. Open your eyes.”
“Aw, not even a laugh?” Lohen, who was playing dead, reopens his eyes, putting his tongue back inside his mouth. “So you were eating mandragora all this time without even considering the fact that they’re made of kuuvhaki? Also, I knew they weren’t meant to be eaten!”
“I didn’t know!” Illuga covers his face.
“...” Grinning, Lohen grasps onto Illuga’s hand again. He inches him closer to his face, without him even noticing. “Wouldn’t it be awesome? If I kept going and ate more mandragora, would I slowly become immune to it?”
“... Lohen?”
“Why don’t you let me have another taste?”
Pulling him forward, Lohen locks Illuga in a kiss. A hand gently guides the Ratnik’s head to lean in more forward, tongues intertwining. The yellow painted on Illuga’s tongue colored onto Lohen’s. Catching onto Illuga’s flustered face, the latter slowly pulls away to witness him regaining his breath. As always, he truly is adorable.
“Thanks.” He hums, causing the latter to rile up.
“... You-- We’re still in public! Don’t do th-- wait-- why did you do that?!” Illuga nearly blows the entire room away from his eruption. “There’s still kuuvhaki! Why did you--?!”
“Urgh! Ugh!” Lohen tumbles back onto his pillow. “I think I’m gonna throw up again!”
“Ah! Here!” The Ratnik quickly hands him a rusty bucket.
Lohen smiles. “I’m kidding.”
“... What--”
“Ack--?!” Lohen places his two palms on his neck. “I-- I think I’m gonna die…”
“Stop joking around!” Illuga exasperates, placing a hand on his forehead.
“N-no, seriously--”
The night ends with them stuck in the hospital. Illuga only has himself to blame for being so ignorant.