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“Hey you guys!” Donut skipped into the Red team common area, fitted with a new red couch and a large TV. Kimball had really done the place up for them when choosing Iris for their retirement home. Grif and Simmons sat watching some sort of action movie on the couch together, dressed in their civvies, “What's going on?” He chirped, rounding the couch over to both of them, who were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, the movie in question seemed to be a space-battle from a movie Donut would never be able to place. Every explosion boomed with the loud speakers they had fitted for the weekly red&blue team movie nights. He moved over to Grif's side of the couch and waved in his face, who only grunted, so he did it again. “Helloooo?”
“Hey Donut. Fuck off.” Grif drawled out, refusing to take his eyes off the screen. He waved Donut off slightly so the blonde stepped back behind the couch to watch what they were doing, standing awkwardly behind them. Grif then hissed when a spaceship was blown up, “Oh come on! That should've been indestructible!” He repositioned himself to sit up rather than slouched in his usual lax position spreading his arms out and gesturing wildly at the screen. “Anders totally should have survived!” His voice cracked as he spoke louder.
“Uh actually if you were paying attention, Grif. You'd know that it's not immune to those amounts of explosives! Captain Anders said that-” Simmons piped up from the other end of the couch, curled in the corner with a red blanket, and lifted a finger up as he spoke and pointed it at Grif accusingly.
“Oh please I totally zoned out during those parts! It's so boring! Give me the good stuff.” Grif retorted, flipping his hair back with one hand, and glaring at Simmons childishly. Whilst Donut still stood behind them awkwardly- clearly not getting the memo.
“What?! Grif you just don't appreciate cinema like I do! Did you see that dolly zoom on Private Cornell's face when she realised her planet was being destroyed? It's brilliant!” Simmons argued back, throwing off the red blanket and scooching closer to prod Grif in the chest, face scrunched up in annoyance. Grif let out a loud groan in response before flopping back into his previous position, now with Simmons close next to him.
Donut waited for the film to quieten down, before shoving his head in between the other men's shoulders, yet not close enough to be touching. “Sooo whatcha watching?” Donut cocked his head over at both of them, smiling and oblivious, rocking on his toes.
“Donut. Please. Don't you know what day it is?” Simmons sighed, “We thought the base was free today!” He squawked at the pin-lightish red man's face dangerously close to him, “Seriously Get Away!”
“It’s Saturday?” He blinked, and pulled his head back “Wait! Oh my gosh! You two are totally!”
“Donut!” They both yelled.
“You get it now? Fuck off dude.” Grif cocked his head back to look at Donut's beaming expression.
“Aw this is so sweet!” He cooed, “Just let me take a picture!”
“Donut. Go. Away!” Simmons whipped his head around and flipped Donut the bird. Face as red as his hair.
“Aww but you two are so cute! Just wait until I tell Sarge the good news!” He said bouncing up and down ready to exit. Grif sighed in annoyance and Simmons turned back to the movie, when
“Now what in Sam hell's got you so excited? Have the blues finally gone down?!” Sarge slammed open the front door to the base, rocking the entire thing with it and causing him to then hit Donut in the face who yelped in pain. Grif sighed again.
“Owwwww! Sargeee! I was just coming to tell you!” he grabbed the older man's shoulders jumping with giddiness, “It's great news!”
Sarge quickly pried Donut off him, “Alright that's enough Donut let me go,” pushing the blonde back. “What's gotcha so excited? have the blues finally surrendered?!” He asked hopefully.
“Even better!”
“Theyre all dead?!”
“Better than that!”
“What's better than a bunch of dead blues son?! We got a new tank to blow ‘em up with?!”
“Nope!” Donut smiled bigger than anyone thought possible. “Grif and Simmons are D-A-T-I-N-G!” he sang out the letters of the last part, and in doing so, crushed Sarge’s imagined paradise of a blue-genocide. “Oh what lovely news! Spending valentines together too!” The pink clad man added gleefully.
“That's what you wanted to tell me?” Sarge looked over Donut's shoulder to see Grif and Simmons huddled together on the couch as explosives rocked from the TV. “It's as obvious as the day, son! Those two been pining for each other since they met… Disgusting.” He added, angrily.
“You- You KNEW?!” Donut gaped “and you didn't tell me?!” He pointed at Sarge accusingly, “Oh and I thought we were friends! All those wine and cheese hours!” He whined
“Thought you knew we all only come for the wine Donut!” Grif yelled from the other side of the base.
“And you just eat all the cheese.” Simmons retorted, earning a shove from Grif.
“To be honest with ya, thought you'd already figured it out.” Sarge shrugged absentmindedly, “Now I've got better stuff to do than worry about something as disgusting as their love!” He began walking away, “Oh Lopez? Where are ya, ya big hunk'o'metal!” Sarge called out.
“Por favor, no” Lopez could be heard distantly in the background. “Ayuda, por favor, alguien.”
Donut watched as Sarge sauntered off, calling out for Lopez, and then moved his way swiftly back to the couple. “This is sooo sweet! Oh my gosh!”
“Donut. Seriously.” Simmons hissed
“Oh come on! I can't be happy my friends have found love!” He cried “After so many years too! Aww I thought you were gonna be alone forever” He laughed a little before quickly backing away at Grif & Simmons’ murderous glares.
“Well I'll see you boys later!” He trotted back swiftly, but not before adding a wink to them both still glaring at him. "Remember to use protection!" He called halfway out the door, before yelping as an orange slipper came hurling towards him.