Chapter Text
The afternoon sun filtered through the classroom windows, Suo could feel the slight warmth it gave, a drop of sweat sliding down his back. He adjusted his long sleeves and thanked his morning self for choosing a lighter fabric chansang for the day. The steady rise in temperature had put him a bit on edge, but it was still within acceptable ranges for his regular routine. He just had to remember to hydrate properly and avoid standing too long in the street if there wasn’t any shade available.
He had taken to bringing a thermos with him lately, filled with tea obviously, warm but not scalding, the weight helped to keep him grounded. He took a slow sip and then let his gaze scan the classroom. He had only started bringing the thermos to class two days ago and while most of his classmates clearly didn’t think anything of it, Suo had noticed some glances coming from Sakura and Kiryu.
His quick scan found Sakura fidgeting with his pen at his desk, a tenseness in his shoulders that felt unrelated to his usual wariness. Suo made brief eye contact with the teen, giving him his signature eye smile, and the poor boy just looked away flustered and almost dropped his pen. Suo loved getting to see this side of Sakura, he truly admired how despite his clearly hard life the boy was still so unguarded in a way, how his emotions couldn’t help but burst out into the open. Sakura disguised his emotions as anger in an attempt to avoid showing weakness, but weeks after their fight with Keel he was slowly letting his real emotions shine through a bit more.
Suo couldn’t help but admire Sakura for it, that moment between them during the Keel fight had only helped him solidify what he already knew, that Suo Hayato was no match for Sakura Haruka, because unlike Sakura, who was now risking getting hurt by letting himself be more vulnerable with them, Suo had built his walls too high to avoid ever getting hurt again, and he knew, the fall from those would be nigh unsurvivable.
While Suo mused on those thoughts, he let his gaze wander again, this time pausing on Kiryu, who was taking advantage of their free period to play some game on his phone. Now, Kiryu might not be as obvious as Sakura, but Suo has felt his gaze on him a couple times, it’s mostly curious. And that’s exactly what has him on edge, Sakura won’t ask unless he thinks something is wrong, Nirei will ask him directly and accept Suo’s answer no matter how bizarre, but Kiryu is different.
Just some days ago they had been privy to Kiryu’s family situation and the whole thing hit a bit too close for Suo’s liking, he knows none of the others involved noticed it, Suo is quite confident in his ability to keep his mask on when it’s needed. But him and Kiryu have been eyeing each other since they met as if they could recognise something of themselves on the other. Now that Kiryu has opened up as well, letting his walls fall down to accept help, Suo feels like the boy can see straight through his carefully constructed mask and he doesn’t like that one bit.
He let his gaze tour the room again, landing on Nirei this time. The boy was scribbling notes in his beloved notebook, but he seemed to sense Suo’s gaze and lift his head to make eye contact. He tilted his head as if asking if something’s the matter, Suo gave him a smile and Nirei smiled back, then kept on writing. He wished his other two classmates would make pretending as easy as Nirei does.
Suo finally settled on watching the sky through the window again, taking another sip of his bitter tea. He could only hope the summer would treat him kindly this year, the last thing he wanted is for anyone to know anything is wrong with him. He has an image to keep after all, he’s the strong, mature and independent vice-captain of class 1-1, the untouchable fighter of Bofurin, and he’d do anything to keep up that illusion.
As the students around him began to pack up and walk out the door at the dismissal bell, Suo turned his head to find Kiryu staring at him. Suo gave him a smile and asked, "Everything alright, Kiryu-kun?”, voice even and controlled despite the slight off tempo of his heartbeats.
Kiryu’s answer came in the boy’s usual bright and teasing tone “nothing really Suo-chan, just admiring the view”, and just as quickly he was back on his phone, acting like he hadn’t been trying to stare at Suo’s soul mere seconds ago. He supposed he could work with that.
As the last of them geared up to leave the class for patrol, Suo finally got up from his chair, making sure to do so slowly, just in case his body decided to rebel. He had been feeling a bit unsteady with the heat, nothing he couldn't handle, but something he definitely didn’t want anyone to notice.
He joined Sakura and Nirei at the door and they finally left towards the exit. None of the three had any patrols scheduled for the day, something Suo was grateful for. But they did walk home together, or at least they walked Sakura home and then Suo and Nirei walked to Nirei’s house and then Suo walked home on his own. Regardless of that, Suo had to keep up his mask, so he made up another absurd fake fact about ostriches that Sakura believed for the grand total of ten seconds before Nirei said Suo was lying to him again. He smiled fondly at the other two teens' reactions, feeling fondness and longing tug at his chest. He buried the second feeling deep down.
Soon enough they dropped off Sakura with a reminder to take care of himself, then Nirei ranted to Suo about a bunch of new facts he had learnt about their classmates. Suo let himself get trapped in the brightness surrounding Nirei, letting himself ignore the insistent tugging of guilt in his chest until the boy had finally entered his apartment complex with a cheery “See you tomorrow, Suo-san!”.
Suo let the smile fall from his face, settling on neutral, and began the long walk to his house. None of his friends know where he really lives, but that's fine, it's better for them the less they know about him.
Suo has no right to bask in the warmth of his friends, not when he constantly refuses to open up to them, not when he keeps deceiving them. He dreads the moment they will figure out he’s been lying to them all this time, that Suo Hayato isn’t who he pretends he is. But when it happens, and it will happen, because Suo is a good actor but his mask is bound to crack at some point, and when prior to Furin he didn’t really get close to many people, he now has a whole group of teens that can't mind their own businesses; when it happens Suo will accept their hurt, their insults, their anger, and walk away.