Chapter Text
The night of graduation they go to Ralsei.
“Can you believe this shit? Adults, actual adults.”
Kris whoops, throws their gown off and raises their face to the moon. “Oh my god, we’re free. We’re free.”
Susie, taken over by the bubbling excitement, the way the world suddenly feels open around her, grabs them into her arms and spins them around. They laugh into her.
“Dude, we’re done. We’re done.”
They sway against each other, and then fall down into the grass next to Ralsei.
“We thought about you the whole time,” Kris says to him, and looks up at Susie. “Didn’t we?”
“The whole fucking time,” she says, nodding, and grabs at them, pulls them against her. “God, dude. We fucking wish you could’ve been there.”
Ralsei doesn’t respond, of course. Kris puts a hand on Susie’s face, closes their eyes and presses their palms over her eyes so she closes hers too.
“Like he did,” they murmur. “You smell like something sweet was cooked in the room with you. The air feels warm and damp and like it might rain later. The wind is making the trees rustle and it almost sounds like a song. I don’t taste anything but I wish I did. I want to taste something good. Now you go.”
Susie licks their arm. “I taste you. I hear you breathing, too. Shit, those are bad ones. He always said specific is better, uhm, but whatever. I smell the dirt, and the grass all mixed, and it smells like him, almost. Like how he smelled that summer, like dandelions and wheat and stuff. Uhm, what’s left?”
“Feel.”
“I feel happy,” she says, without thinking, and then laughs at herself before Kris can. They do anyway, so she kicks them. “Shit, fuck, that was so stupid. Kill me.”
They giggle, different from the laugh, sweeter, and then make an embarrassed sound.
“Well, Ralsei would’ve loved it.”
They pull their palms off her eyes, open their own. She looks away from them and at Ralsei’s grave. It’s grown over with a little ivy, but it’s still shiny from when they cleaned it last week.
“Mi principito,” they murmur, and reach out, press their palm to the stone. “It was like when he walked in everything went dark and soft. Like for a second I could only see what he could.”
They met Ralsei together.
It was at the library. They were there for the group project they’d been assigned to do together, a day before it was due. Susie hated Kris and their stupid apple shampoo and wanted to bash their head against the table and Kris refused to say a sentence longer than three words, no matter how angry she screamed at them. So they weren’t actually working but just sitting there across from each other, Susie glaring and saying anything she could think of to make them mad and Kris looking passively and silently at the table.
And then,
“Hello! You have a lovely voice, would you mind reading this for me?”
Susie glanced up and there he was. Barely scraping five foot in gardening clothes and big, wide glasses over big, wide eyes. A long wooden stick in his hand like a magician’s staff.
She had rolled her eyes. “What are you, five? Read it yourself.”
“I lost most of my vision recently,” he said, but never explained how. Susie would think later that it added somehow to the soft mystery of him, his brightness. “I still wear my glasses anyways, though. I quite like them. And, oh dear, I apologize. It was rude of me to come up like this without introducing myself. I’m Ralsei.”
Susie had looked without meaning to at Kris, and they were staring up at him open mouthed. She was so surprised by seeing an expression on their face that for a second she couldn’t speak.
“I’m Kris,” said Kris, not seeming to know themself why they spoke. “You look familiar.”
“I get that a lot.” He laughed. “Nice to meet you. You have a lovely voice as well. Perhaps you’d both like to help me?”
“With what?” They’d said, and then looked surprised that they spoke again.
He held out a book, which had been tucked under his arm. The Little Prince, it said on the cover. It looked old.
“My grandmother read this to me when I was younger and very sick. She’s been stuck in bed sick a lot too, lately, and I wish I could read it to her. I think if I hear someone read it a couple times, I’ll be able to remember it enough to sit by her bedside and tell it. Just a chapter or two, I mean. The whole thing is quite long.”
“If you can’t see, then how do you know it's the right book?” Susie said, sure he was lying.
He reached out, passed his hand down her shoulder to take her hand, he was very warm, and pressed it to the side of the book.
“Can you feel that?”
She was so surprised by him touching her that she didn’t have time to come up with something mean. “Uh. The, like, indents?”
“I bit it, when I was a kid.” He giggled. “That’s how I know.”
Kris let out a startled laugh at that, looked up at Susie with a sudden and frighteningly earnest ‘is this really happening?’ sort of look, and then it felt like all at once it was impossible to hate them anymore.
“So you really can’t see,” Susie said. “That must suck.”
“Oh, it’s not all bad. The sun feels so much sweeter, and I smell just about everything now. That part isn’t always good, but anytime I get a little sad about it I just think about all the new things I've smelled and tasted and felt and heard since, and then I don’t feel so bad. So, would you mind reading to me?”
What Susie wanted to say was, fuck off, but she ended up somehow being at the library until closing, reading and rereading the first couple chapters of this strange boy’s book, then handing it off to Kris so they could reread it for him too, and then suddenly she and Kris were there every day with him, helping him memorize a new chapter.
Along the way they learned that he was homeschooled, an only child, living with his grandmother in a cabin a long bus ride away from the library. That he came all the time to read before he lost his vision, so he didn’t need any help getting there now, thank you very much.
Soon enough they went beyond the library, after school diner meetups–he didn’t let them skip school to see him-–where Ralsei always insisted he’d pay. An aquarium and fish store where Ralsei sits in front of the tanks and smells the mildew growing, tells the people at the front desk to take better care of them. Then the hour bus ride to his grandmother’s house, a poorly lit cabin with dust mote sunbeams and a kitchen where he showed them how to bake, let them taste test everything.
“Describe it,” he’d said once. “I’ve found the more attention you pay to your senses the more interesting they become. So tell me how it tastes.”
“Good,” Susie said, two scones in her mouth.
He hit her lightly on the shoulder. “No. Describe it.”
And then that became sort of a thing. He would say, “Tell me everything,” and then Susie and Kris would have no choice but to do what he told. And then he’d describe to them what he smelled or tasted or heard, too, and he’d sound like a real poet and make both of them embarrassed.
And then autumn was winter and winter was spring and they hadn’t been apart for months.
The three of them shared Ralsei’s bed most of summer, after long wide days of running through old bramble and into bright fields beyond hometown, to places even Kris hadn’t ventured into in the long rambling hours of their childhood, collapsing together in wildflowers and complaining the next day about the itch. That summer before senior year was so miraculously bright and happy that it only made sense it didn’t last.
There was a time when the three of them agreed to get married. That they'd buy a house together by a lake and swim in it only at night, when it was covered in stars. It sounded stupid in the morning but she didn’t care.
When she and Kris got the call and rushed to the hospital she wished they’d actually gone through with it, gotten married so the doctors would let them back to see him. They didn’t. His grandmother died a month after his funeral.
“Miss him,” Kris says, leaning against her.
“Me too.”
Her chest aches, and she’s at the same time so furiously glad to have them that she feels sick. Without Ralsei she wouldn’t have Kris. Without Kris she wouldn’t have had Ralsei. They’re the only two people left in the world that understand what it’s like to lose him.
“He’d kick our asses if he knew we were moping right now. And your mom is gonna lose it if we don’t get home soon.”
Kris hisses. “Azzy, shit.”
They both give Ralsei a kiss–-he always made them do that before they left his grandma’s–-and then run back to Kris’ house.
“Shouldn’t we be, like, going to a party or some shit?”
Kris laughs, throws open the front door.
“If we were gonna start going to parties it woulda happened already.”
Asriel and Miss Toriel are in the kitchen, and they both turn when the door opens and burst into another round of excited congratulations and tearful hugs.
“Dess called and she’s about to kill herself for missing graduation,” Azzy says, pinching Kris’ cheek and cooing. “Her flight was canceled and there’s not another one for days, but she'll be back for Noelle’s grad party, so be ready for her mess. She feels awful.”
“Tell her she should kill herself, and feel absolutely horrible,” Kris says, grinning. “What an idiot.”
Susie’s never met Dess, but she floats as a sort of impossibly awesome spectre around the corners of every story Kris has told about being a kid. From what Susie knows, she dropped out of one of those mega-expensive colleges freshman year to tour, opening for some sort of okay but not exactly famous indie rock band.
“She makes like two bucks an hour,” Kris had said once after hanging up on Dess. “But, y’know, they’re rich as hell, so she’s barely burned a tenth of her college fund.”
Susie can’t say she’s exactly excited to meet her, but it’ll be good at least to get an idea of who she is after so long of picturing her like an old photograph.
“You’re going to love her,” Azzy says to Susie, pulling her into a hug. He’s always reminded her of Ralsei, just a little, so she hugs him back tighter than she normally does. “I wish I could be here for y’all to meet, but I can’t come back so early from my internship. I’m so glad I was able to be here for your graduation, I can’t believe it.”
“When do you have to leave tomorrow?” Kris sits on the couch, pulls Susie down next to them, crossing their arms at Azzy.
“Early,” he says, sighing, and sits down next to them. “But I’ll probably be able to come back in a couple weeks to visit.”
Miss Toriel hands Susie and Kris each a plate of pie–the celebratory kind, she said when she was making it, whatever that means.
“And your father can still drive you? Because, dear, I would be fully willing to, and you know how he is.”
Azzy sighs again, runs a hand over his face. “Yeah, mom, dad’s coming with me, promise. I’ll be able to fit my stuff in his truck better. Don’t worry, it’ll be alright.”
Kris and Susie share a look.
“Anyways,” Azzy says. “You two don’t have anything better to do than hang out with us? Where’s everyone else?”
“Catti’s at dinner with her parents,” Susie says through a mouthful of pie.
“Same for Noelle and Berdly.” Kris steals a bite from her plate. “And everyone else, probably. I guess all the party stuff is later this week. Ours is the first one, I think.”
“We are not having a party,” Miss Toriel says, and winks. “We are having a reasonable get together.”
Susie laughs and Toriel smiles at her. Sometimes it’s hard to handle having an adult that cares about her so much, she doesn’t really know what to do with herself.
Before Susie moved in with Kris, she basically lived there anyways. Ralsei’s funeral, then Kris couldn’t be alone and neither could she, so they never were. And then Toriel cracked down on her, tried to get her to call her parents, asked to drive her home. And she was too tired to lie. So from then on she actually lived with Kris.
They spend the rest of the night talking, and only stumble up the stairs past one in the morning. While Azzy’s here Kris and Susie are sharing a bed, since Susie’s been living on Azzy’s side of the room. Toriel keeps apologizing to Susie about it.
Not that Susie minds. A lot of the times, even when Azzy’s at school, she sneaks into their bed anyways. When she wakes up with their elbow in her face or their leg kicked across hers, just for a second, it’s like she’s back to that summer with Ralsei, and he’s already gotten up to make his grandmother coffee.
Azzy leaves in the morning after breakfast.
Toriel watches from the window as Asgore picks him up, sighs, and says, “I am going out with a friend.”
Kris and Susie shared a look.
Friend means her boyfriend who she won’t admit is her boyfriend. Anytime she brings him up Kris clenches their jaw and leaves the room.
Susie can’t fault them for hating him. Susie’s met him at his shop or when he’s been over a couple times, and he seemed too lazy and too stupid to be good enough for Toriel. But also Toriel always seems so happy anytime he’s there.
“We need to come up with a prank for him,” Kris mumbles, leaning on the windowsill and watching their mom leave. “Something good, something that’ll chase him off. Make us seem crazy.”
When Kris’ dad gets back from dropping Asriel off, they’re gone to see him for an hour and come back with a car full of flowers.
“How much did those cost?” Susie says, dubiously, pulling a couple bouquets out of the back seat. “And why the hell did you buy them?”
“Three—Er, four tutoring sessions worth? The two hour ones, not the thirty minute beginner piano with MK’s little brother.”
“Ain’t that a bit of a waste of money?”
They sigh, bury their face in a sunflower.
“Dad was behind on the power bill. The whole shop was dark. And I still have a bunch in savings. It’s whatever.”
She hisses. “Fuck, dude. Again?”
“At least it’s not rent this time,” they say, sigh. “I made up something stupid on the spot, like, I was trying to impress someone. He was suspicious and stuff, tried to give me a discount. Ugh. But I figure we can use them to decorate for mom’s party thing tonight.”
They tip their head to the side and she can tell they’re trying to figure out the stupidest way to arrange them.
“Hang them from the ceiling,” Susie says, immediately. “He’ll be at Noelle’s thing next weekend anyways, and her mom’ll probably hire him to help set up for that too.” Susie bumps shoulders with them as they bring the flowers inside.“Hey, cheer up. Ain’t your job to worry about this shit.”
“It’s me and Azzy’s job,” they mumble, throwing the flowers on the kitchen table. “But he’s gone again now. Ugh.”
They glance over at the coatrack, where their graduation robes are both thrown from last night.
“Can’t believe high school is over. I feel like I'm thirteen. Now we’re graduated and I've never been drunk or made out with anyone. What gives.”
Susie holds one of the bouquets upside down consideringly. “Your mom would kill you for either.”
“I just wish. Ugh.” They huff, press their palms under their eyes, lean so their hair covers their face. “One sec. Shit. Sorry.”
She puts a hand on their shoulder. “Hey.”
They lean into her. “Sorry. I just wish Ralsei could’ve been there.”
“Me too. C’mere.”
They throw their arms around her shoulders, bury their face in her neck and let out an exaggerated groan. “Everything is stupid.”
“Sure is. But ain’t nothing we can do about that right now. You driving me to work or what?”
“Love you,” they mumble as they pull away. “Course I'm driving.”
She’s still getting used to how easy they say I love you. To their mom, their dad, their brother, Noelle. To her.
“Yeah, love you too, idiot.”
They drop her off at the diner and she runs in, grabs them one of those sugary mocha lattes from Catti’s waitress tray and runs it out to the car.
“Bye,” they say out the window. “Be home to help set up, don’t let them keep you!”
“Hey, asshole!” Catti yells out the door. “Stop stealing my shit, that was for a customer.”
Susie cackles, runs into the kitchen to clock in. She doesn’t hate her job, since it’s what taught her to cook well enough to make dinner sometimes, and even the dishwashing isn’t that bad. Catti comes back into the kitchen and kicks her, runs another drink out. When she’s back again she says,
“So, are y’all, like, hooking up? Because that’s the only reason I can think of for all your sappy bullshit.”
Susie glances up, knees the dishwasher shut and hands Catti the lemonade she knows Catti was about to ask for. “Huh? Who?”
“You and Kris, duh.” Catti takes the drink. “Thanks.”
“Me and Kris what?”
She slurps from the straw. “Since when do they drive you to work? The walk is two minutes. And you stood outside their car for like five minutes making eyes at each other before you actually came in, you’re lucky our manager is so nice.”
Susie rolls her eyes, dries another plate. “Something up? You’re pissy.”
“Shut up.” Catti glances out to make sure they’re not gonna get in trouble for talking. “I’m not pissy. Just, like, tired. Noelle’s driving me crazy being so happy all the time. Ugh.”
“College stuff again? It’s driving Kris crazy, too. Shit sucks.”
“You can’t go five seconds without talking about them.” She rolls her eyes. “But, yeah. Makes me feel like a selfish asshole. But yeah.”
Susie’s lucky, for once, that her life has been such total shit. With what she has now, a bed, a house, something like a family, she’s too calm to give a shit about her future. She’d be happy if this was all she ever got. A chill job, family dinner with Toriel and Kris, absent walks up the side of the mountain. Peace. When did she get so boring?
“I wanted to move to some big city, y’know.” Catti picks at her waitress uniform. “Where nobody knew me, or whatever. I wanted to be free. And I'm, like, fine with cosmetology school, or whatever. I’m fine with it. But I feel like an idiot. For ever being dumb enough to think I'd be able to have that life. It sucks shit, but it’s not Noelle’s fault. It’s not her fault she has money.”
Susie hums. “Kris won’t even admit they’re upset about it.”
“Kris, again? Seriously? You never answered my question. When did you idiots start hooking up? Where? No way you’d be able to at home with Miss Toriel there.”
“At your mom’s house. Get back to work.”
Kris picks her up from work too, even though they said they couldn’t, and the whole house smells like food when she gets back. There are also a bunch of flowers hanging from string, taped to the ceiling and the fan and the lamps. An effortfully designed “Congratulations graduates!” sign and a bunch of streamers in the livingroom, Toriel's work.
“Everyone better eat all this,” Kris says as they’re all cleaning the kitchen with Toriel and setting the trays of food on the table. “It took forever.”
“I’m certain they will, dear. You’ve become such a wonderful cook.”
People start getting there around dark. Most everyone from school and their families, with congratulations and gifts and thank yous to Toriel for all the work she does.
They sit with Noelle and Catti and Berdly and everyone around the fire out back, trading the same dumb stories over and over, staring at each other in disbelief each time they’re reminded they’ll never be in school together again.
“I’m going to miss you all so much,” Noelle says, her eyes bright in the firelight. “But I’m just so busy, I feel like there are a million things I have to prepare before I leave. Since I'm flying I have to ship all of my luggage…”
She continues in a similar way, about the campus and the city and how incredible the English program is. Catti shares a look with Susie over the fire and shoves a smore in her mouth.
“You must be so glad you don’t have to leave each other,” Noelle says, and it takes Susie a second to realize she’s talking about her and Kris.
“Yeah, no shit. I mean, I would’ve been, like, fine, I guess, if they had to leave, but i’m so fucking glad they aren’t.”
Kris hums. “No point in spending a tonna money to go live in some dumb dorm I won’t even like. It’ll be annoying to get to class when there’s traffic, but we wanna get an apartment, eventually, maybe closer to campus.”
“When’s the wedding,” Catti grumbles, and flicks a lazy grin at Susie when she rolls her eyes.
Kris bumps Susie’s shoulder, grins. “We’re engaged, y’know.”
Everyone laughs. Susie thinks about Ralsei’s warm hand on her shoulder the first time they met.
An hour later Kris and Susie are coming back from the forest with wood for the campfire, but they stop when they catch voices from the front door.
“And I am in a very happy relationship, so I would appreciate it if you ceased any and all advances. This is my final answer.”
Toriel, inside against the doorframe. Asgore, on the doorstep with flowers.
Kris clenches their jaw, looks at Susie, mouths, sorry. They always get embarrassed when this kind of thing happens, but she just feels sorta sad.
“You’re in a relationship, mom?”
Toriel and Asgore whip around.
“My dears,” Toriel says. “I am very sorry, I did not want this to happen. This celebration is meant to be about you both.” She looks tersely at Kris’ dad. “I have complete faith that you will be able to adjust to this new situation as tactfully as you handle everything. I intended to wait to tell you both until the end of the week. But yes. I am indeed in a relationship.”
“Boyfriend,” Kris says, gaspy, like they’re waking up from a nightmare. “You’re saying that asshole from the general store is your boyfriend.”
Toriel sighs. “Yes, dear. Yes, I am.”
“I’d thought those were for someone special,” their dad says, distantly, looking through the open door at all the flowers hanging from the ceiling. “Oh, I did hope you’d found someone, Kris. It’s so important to find the right person.”
Kris swallows. “They, uhm, they are for someone.”
They look at Susie, widen their eyes at her, glance between their dad and their mom.
Susie knows this face. It means,
Do you want to get in massive trouble together?
The answer, as always, is a returning look that means,
Are you kidding? Of fucking course I do.
“It’s funny, mom, that you had something to tell us,” Kris says, with a grin that begins in the corner of their mouth and creeps across the rest of their face. “And I'm glad we’re all here together. Because me and Susie have something to tell you guys too.”