Chapter Text
It’s been how long? Two years? Since the Phantom Thieves defeated Maruki and regained their true reality and freedom back. It also marks two years since Akechi was considered dead. Akira really tried to get over it. He tried every way he could to cope with the loss. Nothing helped, and nothing could ever ease the pain he felt whenever he could swear he saw him in the corner of his eye. Everywhere he went, he saw him. In everything, the shadow of the one he could call his soulmate haunted him every day. No one could ever compare to Akechi, and Akira knew it very well. Their shared bond, although it lasted only a short time, had burned into his memory, his soul, and his mind.
One could call it a passionate rivalry between them, an urge to be better than the other, but it was just a fragment of what it truly was. No one really understood Akira’s feelings and thought process like Akechi did, and no one really saw him beneath the mask he wore every day. Akira was probably the only one who truly understood the real nature of Akechi's character. He didn’t hate him like everyone else did. If only they could’ve spent more time together, Akira could have called this attachment love, even. He didn’t mind being in love with Akechi. How could he, when Akechi saw him for who he truly was and vice versa?
His friends really tried to ease his mind. Sae confirmed that the police hadn’t found Akechi’s body anywhere. Could he be alive? That was what Akira kept telling himself. But then Futaba tried to track Akechi down, and there were no clues whatsoever to lead them to him. They all knew Akira needed to snap back to reality sooner or later, and as much as they wanted to be supportive, this couldn’t go on forever. He couldn’t keep going like this anymore. This needed to stop. That’s why Akira was now on his way to the promised meetup with Haru. He had just gotten off the train and was passing through a large crowd of people. He didn’t pay much attention to anyone, music blasting in his headphones. He got pushed by some older man trying to be faster than him on the stairs, and that’s when Akira glanced around at the people passing by him.
In the corner of his eye, he saw a glimpse of brown hair swaying as someone walked by. He turned around, but the person he was looking for wasn’t there. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.
“For fuck’s sake, this needs to stop." he muttered to himself. But then, again, he saw the hair. He was ready to bet everything he had that it was Akechi’s. He tried to push through the large crowd to reach him, and as he did, their eyes met. His own widened so much that he could feel them almost pop out of his head. The other looked skeptical, almost unsure. They met only for a brief moment, but Akira knew he wasn’t crazy. That was Akechi, in the flesh, right there in the crowded subway station. As soon as their eye contact broke, the other person tried to get away. No. Akira couldn’t let this happen again. He would rather die than try to get over this now that he knew Akechi was alive.
He rushed after him, desperate, and the thought of meeting up with Haru was long forgotten. He caught up to him at the exit and grabbed his wrist, his breath uneven from running through the crowd.
He just looked at Akechi, eyes wide with disbelief. He couldn’t believe he was standing in front of him now, very much alive. Was it fate? Had it brought them back together just when he was about to try and let go? He didn’t say anything, and neither did the other boy. Akechi’s eyes, unlike Akira’s, bored into him, emotionless. Akechi finally sighed, clearly exhausted.
“Are you going to say something?” The taller boy looked at him with expectation.
Akira blinked once, then again.
“You…” He even stuttered. He never stumbled over his words before. “You’re fucking alive? And that’s the first thing I hear from you? To say something? I… I’m not the one who needs to fucking say something.” He spat these words out. He had every right to be angry, mad even. But Akechi just stared back at him.
“It’s a long story…” Akechi finally admitted. And for the first time today, Akira saw hesitation in the other boy’s eyes.
“I waited two years. I thought I went crazy. Goro, I need to know.” His voice almost pleaded and hr never called him by his first name either. Was he always like this when it came to him?
Akechi sighed again, resigned.
“Can we move this somewhere else? I don’t think it’s really suitable to discuss such matters in a subway station, Kurusu"
Akira once again found himself staring at the other boy, afraid that he would disappear the second he looked away. He nodded, his face a mixture of uncertainty and resolve.
“We can go to my place,” he finally spoke up after a long pause. Akechi didn’t say anything in response, but Akira could’ve sworn he saw a small smile forming on Akechi’s face. Was it funny to him? That Akira had waited and waited, not knowing if he was dead or alive? Akira wanted to punch him in the face - one that was, unfairly, even prettier than the last time he saw it. But he doubt he even saw something more tragically beautiful other than the look of Akechi's almost dead eyes staring at him with so much hatred burning inside him. He could count the freckles on his nose and, for once, actually see the bags under his eyes. Wasn’t he wearing any makeup?
Akira practically dragged Akechi by the wrist the nearest subway heading toward his apartment. After Akechi disappeared, he couldn’t bear living in the attic anymore. That’s why he got his own place, not too far from Leblanc, but far enough to feel like a (not that he believed it) fresh start.
The train ride was quiet. Neither of them said a word. Akechi didn’t question where they were going, and Akira was too busy trying to compose himself. He kept glancing at the boy sitting beside him. It just felt… unreal. What if this was all just a dream he’d wake up from any second? Akechi, on the other hand, was calm as ever. After all, he had every right in the world to torment Akira a little after everything he’d been put through.
Akira unconsciously grabbed his wrist again when they got off the train. Once they stepped into the apartment, Akira pinned Akechi to the front door by the shoulders.
“I’m giving you a chance, so please just… explain yourself…” He tried to sound calm and casual, but the crack in his voice gave him away.
Akechi sighed. “You just wanted things to stay the same, didn’t you? Even after we talked it over and over about letting it go. About leaving Maruki’s world behind.” He looked him sharp in the eye. “I should have been dead.”
He was about to continue when Akira cut him off. Akira’s breath hitched, and his hands still braced against Akechi’s shoulders trembled slightly.
“Then why aren’t you?” he snapped, barely able to hold back the ache in his voice. “Why the hell are you here? Why did you let me go fucking insane thinking you were dead?”
Akechi didn’t answer right away. He tilted his head slightly, watching Akira’s face like it was some complicated puzzle. Like he was enjoying it. And desperate look fitted Akira. God he looked like a lost puppy like this.
“I didn’t let you,” he said. “You did that to yourself.”
Akira flinched, stepping back. “That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?” Akechi’s voice was sharp, but not angry, more detached? "You knew what that world was. You knew it wasn’t real. But you still wanted to keep me there with you. Even if it meant betraying my wishes.”
Akira shook his head. “I didn’t- I just wanted-”
“Me,” Akechi finished flatly. “You wanted me. So badly that when it all ended, the world couldn’t quite let go of me either. Or maybe it was just you.”
“What are you saying? That doesn’t even make sense" Akira muttered, confused now more than ever.
“After you defeated Maruki, I shouldve disappeared from this world. My existence here is nothing but a sick fantasy created by him. And I’m not even sure what happened but I got stuck. In your reality.” His voice sharpened. “Was your will to keep me around that strong? Whatever it was, it kept me alive.”
He paused, tone flat.
“And I feel like a ghost wrapped in human flesh. A shell of my past self.”
Akira stayed quiet, until finally asking:
“Then why didn’t you come back to me? Why disappear?”
Akechi laughed, quiet and humorless. “Because I hated you for it.” His voice carried weight, not with malice, but with something deeper. “I hated you for keeping me alive. For making me real. For chaining me to your world with your grief.”
Akira’s jaw clenched. He stepped forward again, close enough that their breath mingled in the narrow space between them.
“So what?” he said, voice low. “You hated me. Fine. Maybe I deserved that. But can you blame me? The fate of the world was on my shoulders and i just- it was too much.”
He gave a shaky laugh, not sure if he was angry, broken, or just so fucking desperate to have Akechi back in his life.
Akechi’s expression twitched, just slightly. Barely noticeable. But Akira saw it.
“I didn’t ask for this” Akechi bit back.
"And I didn't asked for chosing between you being real or the whole world being real..-just please Goro I-" his voice cracked a little.
"Please what? Youre so fucking pathetic, it disgusts me truly" his words were harsh but small smile creeped on his face.
“Please, I just… I can’t bear a life without you. Goro, I need you, more than I need air.”
Akira’s hands dropped from Akechi’s shoulders. He met his eyes. He probably looked like hell pleading, small, unraveling. But he didn’t care.
He wanted to say more, maybe even beg Akechi to stay now that he had him back but before he could speak again, Akechi grabbed him by the collar and crushed their mouths together.
It wasn’t gentle. It was anything but gentle
The kiss was bruising, desperate, more punishment than affection. Akechi’s grip was tight, almost violent, and Akira didn’t resist. He closed his eyes and kissed him back like he was dying. His hands found the nape of Akechi’s neck, not tugging, just holding, like letting go would kill him.
Akechi hated him. And Akira loved him anyway.
His lips moved with a violence, like he wanted to erase the silence between them, the years of nothing. There was hatred in the way he kissed Akira, hatred for him, for himself, for the way his body betrayed him by wanting this.
Then he pulled back.
Hard.
Akira stumbled a little, breath hitching. Akechi was still so close, but too far away too, his breath shallow, his eyes unreadable. Something flickered behind them, but it was gone before Akira could name it.
“You’re unbelievable." Akechi muttered, voice low, almost bitter. “You come crawling back, looking at me like that, talking about needing me more than air, what the hell do you expect me to do with that?”
Akira opened his mouth, but the words caught again. He hated how easily Akechi could do this to him, reduce him to need and nothing else.
“I don’t know,” he said finally. “I just wanted to see you again. I-”
He stopped. The truth felt too pathetic to say out loud.
But Akechi already knew. He always knew.
“I should’ve stayed dead." Akechi said, not looking at him. “It would’ve been easier for both of us.”
“No.” The word left Akira before he could stop it. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not?” Akechi looked at him now, eyes sharp. “You think this is going to end well? That I’ll suddenly be oh so soft and oh so romantic just because you missed me? Don't make me laugh”
"No, of course not, romantic shit never suited you but..for gods sake, I can’t stop dreaming about you. Because every time I think I’m free of you, I wake up suffocating.” his hand moved from the nape of his neck to his cheek, gently resting there. Akechi almost flinched at the touch. "You consume my whole life Goro"
There was a pause, and then Akechi laughed, it was dark and sinister. Like his true feelings were poured into that moment. He slapped away Akira's hand and ran hand against his hair
"God, you truly are, pathetic, you would do anything i tell you to do wouldn't you? If that means i would stay right?" he tilted his head, he was testing him. Akira knew it. And he nodded his head regardless.
Akechi’s smile widened. Something in him shimmered between satisfaction and disgust.
“You really haven’t changed at all” he said softly, leaning in just close enough for Akira to feel his breath. “Still so desperate to keep what little you have. Even if it ends up eating you alive.”
Akira’s chest ached, but he didn’t step back.
“I don’t care." he whispered. “If it’s you, I’ll take it. All of it.”
Their mouths met again, harder this time, almost violent. There was no hesitation, no breath between them, just the crash of their lips. Akechi spinned them around and shoved him into the wall with a force, but Akira welcomed it like he belonged there, between wall in Akechi arms. He gasped into the kiss, letting Akechi in, letting him take whatever he wanted, because he always did.
Akechi kissed like he was trying to hurt him. Like he wanted to make him bleed for ever wanting him in the first place. His hands gripped Akira’s collar, yanking it down, pulling him closer until there was nothing between them but desperation. Akira kissed him back like he was starving.
His hands found Akechi’s waist, then dragged upward beneath the fabric of his coat, fingers splaying across his back, needing to feel him, to confirm this wasn’t another hallucination.
Akechi bit his lower lip, hard enough to draw a choked sound from Akira. Their tongues met again, messy and gasping. The kiss turned sloppier the longer it went on.
When they finally pulled back they were both out of breath, cheeks flushed and pupils dilated.
"I-i need to tell others" Akira was the first on to speak after a brief moment of silence, looking for his phone in his coat.
Akechi raised his eyebrow as he was watching the other boy.
"I'd rather stay dead in their eyes, they don't need to know everything." His words were sharp and had a clear intent into them
.
"But-" Akira really looked like a fucking kicked puppy
"There's no buts, you really wanna disrespect my simple boundary 5 minutes into me taking you back to my life?"
"...No, sorry goro"
"Hmm, thats better, this look suits you, you know? I always hated how your eyes had so much fire in them, but you look better compliant than defiant"
"You like my eyes?"
Akechi let out a breathy laugh, clearly amused
"is that what really you heard?"
Akechi’s laugh lingered in the air for a second too long and quiet, Akira felt it settle under his skin.
Before he could say anything else, Akechi slid two fingers under his chin and tilted his face upward. Not gently but not harshly either. Just enough to remind him exactly who had the upper hand right now.
“You always hear what you want to hear." Akechi murmured. “It’s almost cute.”
Akira’s breath stuttered. “I’m not cute.”
“No." Akechi agreed easily. “You’re not.”
He leaned in, voice brushing Akira’s lips like a secret. “You’re desperate.”
The words landed harder than any hit. Akira felt his heartbeat go uncomfortable and loud in his ears. He couldn't even disagree with his words.
Akechi stepped back first, slipping out of Akira’s space like it meant nothing to him at all. He wandered a few slow steps deeper into the apartment, taking in the place with an unreadable expression.
“You really moved out of Leblanc,” Akechi said finally, running a finger along the shelf. “How domestic of you.”
Akira scoffed lightly, crossing his arms to keep his hands from shaking. “Yeah, well… everything reminded me of you.”
Akechi’s hand stilled. And for a moment, just a moment his shoulders tightened.
Then he turned, mask snapping back into place.
“How dramatic.”
“It’s true.”
"You’ve spent two years drowning in delusion instead of living your own life.”
Akira opened his mouth to argue, but Akechi cut him off with a sharp look.
“Tell me." he said, stopping a foot in front of him. “What exactly did you plan to do after finding me? Drag me back to Leblanc? Pretend we’re picking up where we left off? Make coffee together?” The corner of his mouth twitched like the idea was both ridiculous and tempting. “Live out some of your dreams?”
Akira clenched his jaw. “I just wanted you back.”
“You wanted a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore.”
“That’s not-"
Akechi closed the last bit of distance.
His voice dropped, low enough that Akira felt it more than heard it.
“Look at me and tell me you still recognize the person you’re begging for.”
Akira did look. At the freckles he’d never seen without makeup. At the exhaustion Akechi couldn’t hide anymore.
He looked different.
He looked the same.
He looked like Goro.
“I recognize you.” Akira whispered. “Even like this.”
For the first time since they’d reunited, Akechi hesitated and his breath hitched
“Don’t.” he said quietly. “Don’t do that to me.”
Akira stepped closer. “Do what?”
“Believe in me.”
Akechi’s voice was strained, like it cost him something to say it.
"Why? I want to belive in you." Akira said and hesitantly placed his hand on Goro's cheek