Archive of Our Own ^beta

When he regained consciousness, he realised two things. The first and by far more important one: He was not dead.
The second: His shoulders felt unnaturally heavy.
It was the first time that Phainon could remember waking up on his feet. But then again, was it really waking up?
When he opened his eyes to the Eternal Page Cyrene had created for them, a strange feeling he could not quite name, made itself known. Was this relief? Or was it dread? Contentment? Or regret?
He was very much aware of what had happened and the fact that from what had been said, the others were as well. It felt good knowing he would not have to explain, but at the same time fear was creeping in. As much as he had deemed it a necessity he had to face, he now had memories of killing every single one millions of times. And they now probably had as well.
He slowly opened his hands, lifting them slightly to check. To his relief he found no cracks, no charred and blackened skin, he also felt no burning fever inside of him. Meaning he held no coreflames anymore.
“Why are you lurking around in the shadows?”
Phainon flinched, hardly daring to look at the one person, he had wanted to meet the most and least at the same time.
Mydei appeared rather unimpressed, almost casually walking over, a slight frown on his face. Surely, he would be angry.
“Mydei, I…”
He did not even get any explanation or apology out, before an armoured hand shot up, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look up. Phainon’s heart skipped a few beats as Mydei’s insanely intense gaze met his. Questioning, demanding answers he probably would not be able to give.
“I’m sorry, I…”
Mydei huffed. “Tell me. Out of the 33 million times, how often did you allow for your own feelings?”
Of course he would have to ask this first. Phainon bit his lips. “Are you referring to what happened in the first cycle? Only once.”
“Why?”
Phainon blinked and now almost let out a dry laugh. “Why I allowed that to happen? Because I didn’t know any better. In the end it hurt both of us, didn’t it?”
Mydei’s eyes did not soften. In fact, he hardly even seemed to blink.
“No. I meant, why only once?”
Phainon now stared at him in utter disbelieve. “I had to kill you after you lost yourself to madness back then. I never forgot that moment. And then I repeated it over and over. Even after my body started to give in and I stopped fighting the new me each time… I guess, because I regressed I made the Black Tide worse. Or maybe it was the Flamereaver’s existence in itself. In any case, even without knowing what might happen, the new mes always felt that it would be unfair and only do harm.”
Mydei stayed silent for a moment, still not retracting his hand and keeping him in place. Then, he slowly sighed. “As it takes two, I guess, I can only place half of the blame on you. But I can see it in your eyes – you also only told me half of the truth, didn’t you?”
Phainon flinched and that alone was probably answer enough. Mydei growled softly and suddenly the fingers exerted more pressure than before.
“If this is your unworthy bullshit again…” He stopped, gaze burning now. “You did hear me say, I would trust you again any time, didn’t you?”
Since his voice refused to work, all Phainon could do, was awkwardly nod in Mydei’s firm grip.
“Good.”
Finally Mydei let go, eyes still burning into Phainon’s soul. He found himself still unable to look away, too mesmerized and captured in that gaze.
“Do you still believe we would be hurt at the end?”
There would be no end this time, right? But that was definitely not the answer that Mydei was waiting for.
“Phainon.”
Oh, how rare it was to hear Mydei say his name. The effect was immediate. He sighed.
“No, but…”
“But?”
Sometimes he really hated Mydei’s unwavering patience and persistence. And yet at the same time he envied and loved it all the same. Biting his lip again, Phainon inhaled and got it over with: “But I can’t see how it would not hurt you.”
He wanted to look away, he really did, but Mydei was faster. This time the hand did not grab his chin, it actually went around him and pushed him against a firm and warm chest. Another followed as Mydei pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.
Air was abruptly pushed out of Phainon’s lungs and he gasped, before, he slowly realised what was happening.
“Mydei, what…?”
A snort was the only answer he got for about a minute. Enough time to allow himself to settle into the embrace and at least for the moment accept it, finally lifting his own arms as well to place them on Mydei’s back. He had missed this. Terribly. It almost hurt to believe this was happening right now.
“Let me decide for myself what does and doesn’t hurt me,” Mydei answered softly and one hand started moving on his back until a very strange sensation suddenly made it stop.
The embrace loosened slightly as Mydei looked up in confusion, blinked and then pulled him a few steps forward and – yes – out of the shadows he had been standing in.
“You kept your wings?” He then asked a little incredulously.
“I… what?”
That snapped Phainon out of whatever his thoughts had been doing – or rather been trying to do – just now. Instinctively he turned his head as far to the side as he could and, indeed, he saw movement and something dark.
One hand shot backwards and he felt slightly dry and stiff feathers. He gulped. That explained the strange weight he had been feeling the whole time. He had blamed his bad conscience for it, but it seemed there was an actual, physical reason after all.
“What?!” He repeated in disbelief.

“Can I touch them?”
Phainon could only nod as Mydei walked around him, checking what he could not see himself. He could very much feel the sudden touch, though.
And if he still held any doubts about Mydei’s sincerity, they were dispelled at once. The way his fingers softly slid over his skin was featherlight, careful and spoke of how much he cared. How he even managed to do this with his gauntlets still on, was beyond Phainon’s understanding, but he found himself relaxing slightly. Closing his eyes and trying to concentrate on body parts he certainly was not used to.
While it was not the first time that he had sported wings and most of his memories were intact – if a bit hazy and distant – whenever this had happened before the situation had been quite… different.
He had either been fighting or preparing for a fight. There had never been any calm moment to stop and think about the wings. In the past he had also used them instinctively. Or had he really used them at all?
It was getting harder and harder to remember. The more he tried to focus on the exact circumstances and details, the more they seemed to escape him. He could recall moving them vaguely – to hug and shield himself. But had he ever really flown? The coreflames and their subsequent power had made him able to hover above ground easily. At least he was almost certain of that.
Fingers moved along the bonelike structure that supported the weight and made Phainon’s mind go blank and then back to the present in a second. He had not been very aware of their shape or weight. But Mydei’s hand following them almost made them light up in his mind.
Involuntarily they flapped lightly.
Mydei pulled back at once. “Sorry, was that uncomfortable?”
Phainon bit back a cough. “No, it wasn’t. My apologizes, I… can’t really control them.”
He could literally hear the frown in Mydei’s next question: “Can you feel them?”
Phainon automatically nodded, before remembering that Mydei was still behind him. “I can.”
“Can you move them?”
“…let me try.”
He was not quite sure how best to approach this, so he tried the first thing that came to mind: Stretching. His arms moved automatically with them, but, indeed, his wings followed, opening wide to their full width, before then closing back in. Not quite as far as we would have liked. Were they that stiff? They really should not be, he had been able to form a capsule around himself, he should…
“Phainon.”
His name again. He must really have been spacing out for Mydei to resort to such measures.
“Yes?”
Mydei ducked underneath one of the wings and came into view. “So, you can feel and move them and they are firmly attached to your back,” he concluded. Like it was some groundbreaking revelation, that he refused to follow up.
Phainon had to smile. “You almost sound like Professor Anaxa.” He then shook his head. “How do they attach to my back?”
Mydei blinked. “They grow out of it, like any limb would. Were you expecting some kind of wound? Or for them to magically hover behind you?”
Well… yes. Phainon shrugged. “No, not really, just… wait. What about my cloths, did they tear them?”
Mydei nodded. “Only at the base directly at your back, though. You now have holes. We will probably have to cut you out of them, now that I think about it.” He crossed his arms.
Phainon just sighed. This was getting better and better. “Let me try to call Aglaea, she’ll be mad anyway, I don’t want to make it worse by completely destroying what’s left…”

“Oh my…” Was actually the first thing Aglaea said, when she arrived at the small garden at the outer edge of Okhema – where they had been waiting as Phainon refused to enter the city like this and risk being seen.
Surprisingly enough, though, Aglaea did not sound mad at all but rather… a little worried. She walked towards him without hesitation, softly placing her hands on his arms and smiling.
“I’m glad to see you as yourself.” Whatever that meant? Phainon gulped.
“Lady Aglaea, I…”
But she shook her head. “When will you finally drop the formality?” Her voice was strangely gentle while saying these words. For a moment Phainon felt like his grandma had just chided him for being too polite. And he almost chuckled, only catching himself in the last second.
“Now let me see.”
Aglaea let go and just like Mydei before walked around his wing to look at his back. It suddenly dawned on Phainon, that even with a mirror it would be pretty difficult for himself to look at his back himself. Or reach it for that matter. He had not considered that before.
“Interesting. Let’s see, how we best get you out of this. Does it hurt or feel uncomfortable if I accidentality touch the wings?”
Phainon coughed. “No, please don’t worry. That’s totally fine.”
The very next second he heard a metal sound and … fabric ripping. What the…?
His shoulder armour came loose, almost falling. “You should be able to pull that off now,” Aglaea said very matter-of-factly. “I’ll try to open the seams along the shoulder line, once it’s loose, try getting your arms out of the sleeves.”
Which first required taking off the arm parts of his armour as well. He hurried to do that just in time to feel his coat going slack. Phainon tried to pull his arms out of the sleeves, but the angle was still quite awkward and…
Mydei was unable or not even trying to stifle his laughter. “Need a hand?”
The smirk on his lips was pushing Phainon more towards declining, but considering Aglaea was still waiting, he bit back his pride. Still glaring at Mydei, though, he replied: “That would be appreciated.”
Mydei was still chuckling softly as he stepped closer and pulled off the sleeves, with the coat falling down.
Aglaea must have caught it, as it was suddenly pulled backwards. “Great, the shirt should be a little easier.”
It did not sound easy and like she had to cut a lot. Suddenly she was in front of him again, pulling it forward and… off. She had indeed, cut open the back, seemingly uncaring about the much simpler piece of clothing.
He now stood there, chest and arms bare safe for the cuff and glove he wore on his lower arms underneath the armguards. And he realised he had not quite thought this through. He would have to walk through Okhema now not only with strange, big wings on his back, but also half-naked. That hardly made his situation any better, if he was being honest.
“Can you move them a little for me?”
Aglaea’s voice was suddenly behind him again. He turned his head, but was really unable to see her. So he closed his eyes and tried again to focus on the wings and carefully as to not hit her, moved them a little up and down.
“Mmh, I see. This will require a few more adjustments if you wish to keep similar clothing. The coat would be too tight and restrict the muscle’s movement. You will have to give me some time to come up with a suitable solution. In the meantime I suggest we stick with something that leaves your back open, so you are able to put it on and off.”
She walked into view again, still holding his coat and looking at it deep in thought. Then she glanced up at him, a soft smile on her lips.
“I’ll make sure to have something ready for you in the next few days, until then, it’s probably best you just stay that way. On that note – Hyacine was with me when I received your message. She would like to check on you.”
Phainon blinked. Why was she handling this as if it was normal? Just some everyday occurrence? Just how often did she have to adjust clothing to altered human shapes??
Aglaea was still looking at him, waiting. Oh, right, he was supposed to answer.
“I don’t mind, but…”
“But?” She asked.
Phainon sighed. “I’d rather not run around the city like this…”
Aglaea raised first an eyebrow then a hand to quickly hide her amused smile. “I’m sure you know the city well enough to find your way to the Garden of Life unseen? I’ll tell her to meet you there. Although, Phainon”, she stepped a little closer and suddenly said a little quieter: “Don’t worry about being seen. You’ve done nothing wrong.” And then she turned and headed into the direction of her workshop, leaving him slightly confused.

Phainon really should have kept his coat on. He felt very exposed as he walked over the rooftops, trying to keep his head and upper body low and his wings as close to his body as he could (which, admittedly was not very close).
The only good thing was, that he knew not too many people paid attention, judging from how often he and Mydei had sparred up here without ever being seen. As their fights tended to gather small crowds whenever they had them in more accessible spaces he was at least sure of that.
He exhaled with an almost sigh as they made it to the Garden of Life without any incidents. There were very few people here and while he did receive some questioning glances, they did not linger.
A soft “Awoo” greeted him and suddenly there was a little chimera in front of him, looking at him with big, pleading eyes. Phainon could not help, but chuckle, as he automatically leaned down to pet the fluffy head, earning a content purr.
He crouched down to pick it up – and stopped at a foreign feeling. His wings had touched the ground. They were big, of course they would… with half a glance backwards, Phainon still continued the motion, cradling the little chimera in his arms and standing back up.
“This is so weird…” He mumbled to himself, but likely not low enough judging from Mydei’s gaze.
Mydei had walked with him, staying quiet the whole way. He now stepped closer and also ran his fingers through the chimera’s fur, but his eyes never left Phainon’s.
“Can I…” He began, but was interrupted by Hyacine calling their names. And Mydei turned, stepping out of the way.
“Oh!” Hyacine almost ran over, her eyes trailing along his wings, making Phainon a little self-conscious again. “How pretty!”
What? Phainon blinked in disbelief. Hyacine slapped her hands in front of her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry!” She quickly said. “I should not have said that aloud.”
Phainon blinked once more, before shaking his head. “No, it’s… fine. I’m just surprised.” That was an understatement and most certainly not the reaction he had expected. Neither to his wings nor to him in general.
Hyacine cleared her throat, then smiled at him. “I’m so glad you are alright, you showed up so late, we were all worried! Can I do a checkup on you? And see how your wings work? I’m a little concerned how that impacts your body… are they heavy? Do they hurt?”

The checkup took longer than he had thought and by the time Hyacine was satisfied with what she could find, it was already a little late.
And Phainon felt tired in a way that did not quite fit the low level of activity he had had today. Then again, he was not able to tell just how much energy … suddenly growing wings might have consumed. He decided to head back to his quarters. Usually he would have stopped by the market on the way home to get a quick dinner, but right now he really did not want to walk around anymore than necessary.
He surely would have something edible at home – and even if not, he would survive without dinner for one day and tackle that problem in the morning.
“No bath today?”
Oh, right, Mydei still hadn’t left. He had patiently sat next to them as Hyacine thoroughly examined his back and the muscles leading into the wings, not saying a word, just watching.
Phainon coughed.
“No, I don’t think I want to…” He trailed off, but Mydei slightly raised his eyebrows.
“Be seen?”
Phainon flinched a little, but could not bring himself to lie, so he nodded.
Mydei stood at that and walked over. “You know, sooner or later people will know.”
He did. Very much so. But if he could, he would delay that for as long as possible.
“I’m not yet sure how to… handle that,” he softly confessed while turning towards home. It felt like a very long day.
Mydei shot him one more glance, he could not quite interpret, then nodded. “Take care of yourself.”

Phainon had – incorrectly – assumed things would ease up once he reached the safety of his own room.
Before he was even able to enter, his wings got stuck in the door, being too wide to allow access. He sighed, tried to move them on their own for about a minute, but while they did do something, it was far from enough for him to be able to pass through.
His patience ran out much quicker than usual and with a grumble he turned sideways to just get out of the open space, where everyone could pass by any time. Not that many people did, this area was reserved for the Chrysos Heirs after all, but it was still not prohibited to enter.
He pushed the door close and exhaled slowly.
He wasn’t even hungry, maybe going to bed really was his best option. He walked over to the back end of the room and – a loud shattering noise startled him, making him swirl around only for another crash to follow.
This time Phainon managed to remain still and realised that two of his antique vases probably were not quite in pristine condition anymore. He likely had swiped them down without even noticing.
He closed his eyes for a second, took another deep breath and decided to deal with that problem tomorrow.
He stripped off his pants and sat down on his bed, pausing for a moment, trying to calm down. It did not really work, mainly due to the fact, that this position while totally possible, was not exactly comfortable for his wings. They were pressed against the bed and curved in a way that did not hurt, but also really did not feel good either.
And Phainon also realised that he would likely be unable to sleep on his back ever again. That being one of his favourite sleeping positions, this would also take some… getting used to.
Not wanting his mood to get even worse, he turned, laying down on his left side, the wings bending and falling onto the ground. That was… not ideal either. But it would have to do for now.
How was it possible for them to be this sensitive when he could hardly move them at will?

A knock on the door startled him slightly. To claim Phainon had still be sleeping would be a lie. In fact, he had hardly slept the whole night. The wings constantly pulling him to the side and even when he managed to find a position that somewhat worked, sooner or later, one of them would go to sleep.
He was still debating just ignoring the knock, when he heard the telltale sound of the door opening. That ruled out a lot of people. Actually, almost all of them with only Aglaea and Mydei having spare keys. (Cipher would probably not need one, but she also would not make any noise when entering.)
Groggily he turned and tried to get into a halfway upright position without – again – bending either of the wings too much.
“Deliverer? What… what the hell happened here?”
Oh, right, there were still broken shards on the floor. Phainon opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again, not really knowing what to say.
Mydei appeared in his line of sight, frowning, surprisingly clear worry on his face, that did not even ease up as he saw him unharmed.
Phainon tried to smile. “Sorry, I was not expecting any visitors, I was too tired to clean up yesterday.”
Not to mention that any attempt would no doubt have ended in more broken vases, unless he put them away first. His eyes shortly flickered across his room. He had pushed down quite a few things while turning in his not-sleep. Thankfully there had been no more casualties, but he would have to put a lot of things away. Where to, he did not know, his room was a little packed, he had to admit.
Mydei’s frown only deepened, before he put a bag on Phainon’s table and just told him to “stay put”.
Phainon was about to protest, but his sleepy brain was too slow to understand what exactly Mydei was doing until he saw him brushing up the broken pieces.
“Mydei, you don’t need to…”
Phainon was about to get up, but Mydei shot him an angry glance and he sat back down.
“You have too much stuff.”
He then proceeded to put away the remaining vases and breakables near the table as if this was the most normal thing in the world. And as if it was his own home. It made Phainon strangely conscious of how… nice that thought was. He surely wouldn’t mind sharing a home once more. Even if it certainly would mean getting rid of some of his antiques – Mydei had never been too much of a fan of them. The one lifetime they spent like two years in the same home they had compromised on the number and sizes. It was a strangely vivid memory among so many foggy ones.
“Come on over, I brought breakfast.” Mydei’s voice pulled him out of his musings again and he blinked. There were suddenly two servings of Mydei’s favourite honeycakes readily placed on the table and a wave of sweet honey and fruits hit his nose.
He got up, very slowly, very much trying and failing to fold in his wings again, he walked over, coming to a stop as he realised another problem. Phainon must have glared very obviously at the chair and the backrest that felt impossible to handle without quite a bit of discomfort – because Mydei suddenly sighed.
“You are overcomplicating things. Keep it simple.”
He walked over to Phainon’s bathroom and returned seconds later with a stool. Right, for now that would be easier. Phainon’s hand brushed subconsciously through his hair as he – much more careful than usual – sat down.
“Thank you,” he quietly replied a little late.
Mydei eyed him sceptically, but just nodded. “Come with me to my place. I have less… things standing around. You’ll feel better.”
That wasn’t even a question. Phainon’s gaze shot up. Not quite sure what to think of it. The fact that Mydei was just assuming instinctively made him want to counter, but on the other hand he could hardly deny that probably being true. And again, the thought of staying together was…
Phainon brushed that aside and grumbled. “Who do you think you…” He began, but Mydei’s grin stopped him.
“That’s better!”

Mydei indeed owned far less stuff. His room was clean, simple and tidy, for the most part only featuring necessities. Apart from the kitchen – that was probably the most well stocked Phainon had ever seen – a telltale sign of the only hobby Mydei actually had allowed time and money for.
His room did have a handful of decorations – mainly curtsey to Aglaea and Castorice – but they came in the form of heavy, dark red curtains, embroidered pillows and a single tapestry depicting some kind of old Kremnoan tale Phainon was not familiar with.
None of these were breakable.
He placed the bag of clothes he brought to the side and took a look outside the window. Mydei’s room was facing the opposite direction than his own. He actually had a really nice view – something Phainon had so far failed to take notice of.
“Are you up for a spar today?”
Phainon blinked. The question was so normal – and so far from his mind, it almost hurt.
“I…”
Rare as it was, he was lost for words. He would love the normality of it, but sparring would not only mean walking around outside, it would also require a bath. He was not sure how to tackle that.
“I got some oil, so we can have the usual bath afterwards,” Mydei suggested. Phainon just stared at him, not understanding how exactly oil would help in any way.
Mydei rolled his eyes.
“For your feathers. So they are protected from the water,” He said as if this was obvious. “I found a few suggestions. Since they seem awfully dry anything would probably be good…”
Phainon blinked once more. That seemed to be a very common thing today.
“I was not aware you were so knowledgeable about feathers.”
Mydei snorted. “I am not,” he simply replied and gestured for Phainon to sit down at the corner of the bed. He complied, even if slightly hesitant.
And without another word, Mydei’s hands were suddenly on his wings again, sending a foreign, but very soft sensation through Phainon’s nerves. He straightened up, but slowly exhaled afterwards.
Mydei’s hands felt warm, whenever they touched the actual skin and bone, the fingers brushing lightly along the feathers, never pulling or putting too much weight onto them. And against all his expectations, the feeling was… comforting.
Phainon found himself relaxing, even allowing his eyes to fall shut after a few minutes. He might have heard an amused snort from Mydei, but could not bring himself to care.
He forgot all sense of time and was very much startled back into reality when Mydei suddenly called his name.
“What?”
Now Mydei was definitely making an amused noise. “Still awake?”
Phainon grumbled. “I was the entire time!” He then shook his head. “That was very… nice, though. Thank you. It felt really good.”
His eyes still cast down he noticed a book next to Mydei’s bed. A book about caring for injured birds. It had been just a day and Mydei had read up more on his own problem than he had?
Before Phainon did get a chance to comment on it, though, Mydei’s hands were on his wing again.
“You could feel all that, couldn’t you?”
Phainon nodded, then, not sure if Mydei actually could even see that, confirmed: “Yes.”
“Can you still feel my hands?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me, if this hurts.” And suddenly the hands moved, pushing his bones with them. Closer together. It didn’t even feel very forceful, just enough to gently take them along until they almost touched at the centre of his back.
“Is that uncomfortable?”
“No.”
“Can you hold it?”
Mydei’s hand vanished, leaving and almost cold spot behind as the wings despite Phainon’s best efforts opened up again at once.
“No?”
“Mmh…”
Mydei fell silent for a minute, then one hand was back at his wing. “Try moving it against my hand?”
Phainon had to concentrate really hard to do that. It was not difficult determining where Mydei’s fingers where and he could also tell which parts he would have to move, but doing so proved to be a completely different story.
He wasn’t even sure if he was doing anything at all, when Mydei gently brushed over the part he had been holding and let go.
“I think your muscles are just too weak,” he concluded while stepping back into Phainon’s view. “Probably, because they were never used before. The wings are rather flexible, but your strength is very much non-existent. You did use the correct muscles though.”
Phainon frowned again. “In other words I need to train them? I’ll have to find out just how exactly to do that.”
He was rather certain that no training regime he had heard of or would find in any book would be able to answer that question.
Mydei just nodded. “Maybe it’s not a bad start to just try and control the movement a little each day. Push against my hand.”
And the warm pressure appeared again, more to the right now, steady, calm. And Phainon really closed his eyes now, trying his best to concentrate and do as he was told.

Mydei had opted not to use the regular training grounds much to Phainon’s relief. Rather he had taken him through some back alleys to the grounds the Kremnoans used most of the time. While this calm refugium offered them the option to head back home, not everyone had headed out at once and from the few words Phainon had heard so far, some were planning to stay, having found their peace in the holy city.
He himself was not too keen on leaving either. He wanted to visited a resurrected Aedes Elysiae for sure, but he was not certain it would ever feel like the home it used to be with all the memories of it burning still very much present in his mind. He wondered, if Mydei would want to return home anytime soon. He had often spoken of Castrum Kremnos, but unlike his countrymen he seemed to have settled into Okheman life rather quickly after the initial reluctance had passed. Then again, Mydei had always been very pragmatic, never dwelling on impossible things.
Phainon would for sure miss him, if he decided to leave. More than he liked to admit even to himself. He was no fool and knew very well how much Mydei meant to him, but even thinking about certain aspects hurt in a world where things had changed. And he had yet to determine if some of the changes were good or bad.
He caught some movement out of the corner of his eye just in time to fetch the wooden stick Mydei had thrown at him.
Phainon frowned at that, they hardly ever used these, but before he could as much as protest, Mydei feigned an attack, almost knocking it out of Phainon’s hand in a swift motion.
Phainon growled – and readied his stance. His hand going back to get some momentum, he… grazed his own wing. Good thing, it had only been a stick and not an actually sharp sword.
Phainon made an indignant noise at the realization that this was probably exactly why Mydei had picked the weapon. For him not to injure himself. It made him a little furious and opened up a series of hits directed at his opponent.
While Mydei preferred not to use weapons in most battles, Phainon had long since learnt that if he did decide to use one, a lance was his favourite choice. So it came as no surprise that Mydei easily paraded all of the attacks with firm, calculated movements.
Mydei’s technique was always flawless, getting some hits in usually required either speed or what Mydei called his “cheap little tricks”.
So Phainon tried just that, aiming right, then quickly turning on his feet and… ducking really quickly, because Mydei was much faster than usual. No, he was not. The wings were catching the air. He was slower.
An angry growl made its way out of his mouth before Phainon had a chance to stop it. Damn these wings getting in the way again. Not even his favourite pastime was spared it seemed.
Maybe that would get a bit better, if he managed to fold them in more, but the issue itself would remain. They would slow him down.
He probably got too absorbed in that thought because suddenly Mydei tackled him head-on and all he could do was brace himself for impact as he fell on his back.
His wings hit the sand first, spreading out as his and Mydei’s combined weight crashed onto them.
It didn’t hurt, not really, but it stunned him for a moment. Mydei’s hands were firmly pressed on his shoulders, holding him down. His gaze a very amusing mixture between very smug and slightly worried. That was new.
For a few seconds neither of them moved, before Phainon let go of the stick and actually pushed against the hold. He knew there was little he could do now. Mydei had the upper hand and all he would have normally tried, was… not really possible right now. He could not flip both of them over with his dead weight wings in the way. He really would need to get some control over them!
After about five minutes of futile struggle, he finally gave up. He knew he was pouting, but he could not bring himself to care.
“I concede.”
Mydei grinned. But still did not let go. Phainon pushed against his chest in protest, but that only made the grin wider as Mydei suddenly leaned down.
“Doesn’t look half bad,” he almost whispered in a deep voice that sent a sudden shiver down Phainon’s spine. He blinked in disbelief as Mydei finally released him and even offered a hand to haul him back up.

Phainon was not only thankful for the rather late hour and very few visitors, but also for the fact that the bathhouse was rather spacious.
While he struggled to find a really comfortable position at least he did not have to worry about not having enough space.
His wings were halfway submerged in the warm water behind him – an alien, though not unpleasant feeling he would need to get used to. Because he actually did like the bath. He loved the warm water on his skin and the comfort it brought after a long day. He was not willing to forgo it in the future.
Even if he still needed to find a solution for leaning back against one of the benches and dozing off, for now sitting in the open and just enjoying the warmth would do.
Having Mydei stand behind him and check the feathers for damage was not necessarily part of that plan, but he certainly did not mind the soft touches. It was the third time now that he got to experience this kind of care and it reminded him very much of gentle caresses through his hair. The biggest challenge was to not allow himself to be lulled into sleep by it or get too lost in the moment.
“You might have lost a handful,” Mydei mused calmly. “Not sure if that is normal or because you fell onto them.”
Was he having second thoughts about pushing him to the ground earlier? Phainon couldn’t help but chuckle. “It didn’t hurt, I don’t think it caused any real damage. Don’t we occasionally loose hair as well?”
Mydei made a noise. Phainon was not sure what it meant, but before he could ask, a soft squeal could be heard and as he turned he saw Castorice at the edge of the pool. She was dressed in swim wear and had clearly not expected to meet anyone here, her hand in front of her mouth as she turned her gaze away in what seemed to be slight embarrassment.
While they always had to be very careful, Castorice had more than once shared a bath with them and never seemed ashamed of it before.
Phainon sobered instantly. This was finally a more normal reaction to what he had done and he found himself lost for words once more.
Mydei, though, did not seem to get the message. “Castorice. Would you like to join us?”
She coughed slightly. “I… do not want to interrupt your… preening session.”
Preening session? What?
Mydei chuckled. “You don’t. We were done anyway.”
She eyed him for a moment, then, hesitantly entered the water. “If you really don’t mind.” She carefully put her towel at a dry spot before coming closer. That was not exactly what Phainon would have expected her to do, but he did his best to smile.
He had learnt to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that her presences caused pretty quickly. While still keeping his distance for safety, he valued and enjoyed spending time with her far more than he minded the discomfort. All of that was gone now. Having her stand this close would have been very noticeable before, now he could not feel it at all. He would have loved to give her the hug he promised her ages ago when they studied together, but he really did not want to force it upon her, if she felt this wary around him. So he stayed put.
“I heard about the wings from Hyacine, they are bigger than I imagined,” she suddenly said and inched a little closer. “They are beautiful.”
Her hand twitched slightly and to Phainon’s surprise, that made Mydei reach out a hand to her. “You don’t need to worry anymore,” he reminded her all so gently. “You won’t hurt either of us. And even though he seems to have lost his tongue again, I’m sure, the Deliverer won’t mind if you touch his feathers.”
Phainon blinked, feeling slightly caught again. He shot Mydei a glance that went completely unnoticed before he turned back to Castorice. “I’m sorry, of course.”
She smiled softly as she came closer and reached out a hand towards his right wing. She was very careful, he hardly even felt the touch at all. He tried his best to move the wing against her hand, making her flinch in surprise and look at him.
“I don’t understand why you got them,” she then said. “But I like them. They suit you.”

Getting the feathers dry again had been a bit of an ordeal. And one that he right now certainly required help with. Try as he might he could not really reach the ones close to his back with a towel – or his hands for that matter.
Thinking back to his childhood days, the birds seemed to just shake their wings dry after bathing, but he could not do that. At least not yet. Maybe if he had more control and strength he would be able to.
For now he had to either let them dry on their own or take up Mydei’s offer to help and let him take care of that part.
Considering the late hour and the lack of sleep from the night prior he had little choice. It felt good – too good honestly. He just did not like having to be taken care of. He did not want to burden Mydei with that.
Once they reached Mydei’s room again, another problem occurred to him. Mydei owned a big bed, they even had slept in that together before when Phainon had insisted on staying over. But… there was no way he could sleep there without his wings touching Mydei. Even laying on his side, he would certainly move in his sleep and so would they.
He frowned and actually considered just staying on the floor to begin with, when Mydei pushed him from behind.
“Just get in already, I’m tired.”
“Uhm, Mydei? I don’t see any way how I can keep the wings out of the bed.”
Mydei walked passed him, already in the pants he usually slept in. “I’m aware.”
Phainon rolled his eyes. “They will touch you. I cannot control them and in case you have not noticed they are rather… big.”
Mydei snorted. “Again, I am aware. Did you really think I was not?”
His eyebrows raised he gestured towards the bed again and just got in himself when Phainon failed to react.
Phainon sighed. Could not say, he didn’t warn him, right?
He carefully climbed underneath the soft blanket, trying to manoeuvre his wings out of the way. And he was faced with the same problem as the night before. Of course, nothing had changed, he…
“Just lay on your stomach, idiot.”
If he did that, one wing would certainly land on top of Mydei and… maybe it was easier to show him than argue.
So Phainon lay down and as predicted his right wing automatically draped over Mydei, who hardly reacted to it apart from a soft hum. “Stop making everything so complicated.”
Phainon sighed and tried to just allow himself to settle down. His left wing was hanging over the edge, but Mydei’s bed was at least lower than his, so the angle was not as sharp as before. He shifted slightly, causing Mydei to open his eyes again.
“Is that uncomfortable?”
Phainon shrugged. “Not sure,” he admitted. “Ask me again tomorrow.”
And Mydei, as always, just nodded, closing his eyes again. His breath evened out rather quickly and although Phainon was not exactly calm, it was soothing to just listen. And eventually he, too, did fall asleep.

“Is that better?”
Phainon was not quite sure what to answer. He had not wanted to leave the apartment to have breakfast with the others and had used his half-nakedness as an excuse. Mydei was having none of it.
He had pulled out two of his half-tops, more or less forced them onto Phainon and then continued to produce two claps to hold both pieces together. The result looked surprisingly intentional, but very foreign and different to what Phainon would usually wear.
At least he was not naked anymore, though, he had to admit that.
“I… guess?”
Mydei crossed his arms with a grin, then gestured towards the door. Well, he should have picked a better excuse that’s for sure.
Phainon accepted his fate and carefully pressed his hands against his wings to be able to pass through the door without getting stuck again. Outside he let go, feeling a little stupid for having to do this, but trying not to dwell on it as he followed Mydei to the meeting hall they sometimes used to get together, when Aglaea called for a Chrysos Heir meeting. Not that that had happened often.
They arrived early, of course, Mydei would not let anyone else prepare the food. So while he hurried over to the kitchen, Phainon stayed, setting the table and then – very carefully – sitting down on the bench, to avoid his wings getting in the way.
“Snooooowy!”
He heard her, before he saw her. Tribbie came from behind, circling in the air around him, smiling happily.
“Oh, your wings are really big!” Another circle around him. “Can you fly with us now? We can show you the best viewing spots!”
That… was a good question. In theory he should be able to, right? His wings were far bigger than Tribbie’s and should be able to hold his weight? That would require more control, though, for sure. And maybe more muscles. On second thought, he very likely would not be able to fly right now. In other words, they were not even impractical, but rather really dead weight.
Unconsciously Phainon’s eyes wandered to the side, where he could very much see the dark feathers. Maybe he should just cut them off and be done with it?
Before he could voice his thoughts, however, a short, sharp pain shot through his right wing and he flinched, turning around, to hear a soft laugh.
“Oh, look how shiny it is.” Cipher suddenly appeared on the other side of the table, holding three golden feathers in her hand. “I’m sure people would be willing to pay a lot for such a nice souvenir of their Deliverer,” she grinned.
“You should not pull other people’s feathers!” Tribbie admonished her at once as if this was something… normal, pressing her fists into her sides and landing next to Cipher. “At least ask first!”
But Cipher just laughed, waving with the feathers. “Ah, come on. He wouldn’t have objected anyway. He’s too much of a goody-two-shoes for that. And he still thinks we’re mad at him anyway, so…”
“Cifera.”
Cipher grumbled as Aglaea entered the hall and sat down next to her. She did fall silent, though, placing the feathers on the table. Aglaea’s eyes trailed over Phainon and he could make out soft amusement. “I see you found a solution to your clothing problem?”
Phainon finally realised that he was in fact not just an observer in this conversation and very much could answer. He cleared his throat. “It was actually Mydei who did.”
Aglaeas smile got a bit wider. “I see. Very creative, I will take note of that.”
“Snowy, don’t listen to what Ciphy said, we are not mad at you!” Trinnon was suddenly next to him. She sat down without caring for the fact, that the slight movement in the air made his feathers sway. They would occasionally brush over her back, but she either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “No-one is. We are just glad to have you here, back with us.”
That sentence did… something to him. Phainon suddenly felt very aware of the heavy feeling in his chest and how it seemed to lighten a bit. He wanted to say something to answer the honest words, but Mydei chose that very moment to enter with a tablet of food in his arms and Phainon was content to drop the topic for a bit.

Two weeks passed in a blur. Taking care of the feathers, followed by exercise to move them in the morning. Trying to get a hang of fighting the air resistance in the afternoon, followed by a bath.
Mydei got a big pillow two nights in, on which Phainon’s left wing lay much more comfortable than before. He actually slept decently through the nights, having found a position that worked and listening to Mydei’s soft breaths every evening.
Aglaea had provided a few tops for him that left his back open, enabling him to just pull them over his head and either push into his pants or clasp in the lower back, meaning he felt less exposed when he went outside.
Not that he did often apart from the sparing sessions. He still was very unsure on how to breach the topic of… the public. They had not seen him yet and he was sure, whatever people might think of his wings, it would… change their opinion about him.
So he stayed out of sight.
Another strange change to how it used to be, he realised when he looked down from the highest roof he had been able to find in Okhema’s borders. It was about five stories from the ground and he could see people going on about their day down below.
Phainon was used to run and jump around the rooftops of the marketplace area, but they could hardly be described as high. Even if he were to fall, he would be fine. He was not quite so sure up here as he carefully eyed the distance and noted how small everyone seemed to be.
A breeze rustled his feathers.
Lately a lot of them had fallen out. Not enough to be blatantly obvious, but too many to be coincidence. He was doing something wrong obviously. Mydei had put him on a diet with a lot of nutrients inspired by what birds ate in spring. It amused Phainon quite a bit, so he did not fight it, but he wondered if that really was the way to go.
Maybe he just was not meant to have wings in the first place?
“Deliverer, whatever the hell you think you are doing, stop it right now.”
Speak of the devil, Mydei appeared on the stairs behind him, but it took Phainon a moment to understand what he was trying to say.
He quickly held up his hands.
“I’m not doing anything stupid,” he quickly reassured. “I just remembered how the little birds back at home learnt to fly by jumping off the trees and…” He trailed off his eyes again wandering down to the marked square.
“You are not a bird,” Mydei noted far too seriously. “If you really want to try and jump down somewhere, pick a place that will not kill you upon failure.” His gaze was firm and Phainon knew Mydei would not let him go. He felt a bit offended. He really was not that reckless.
“Now follow me.”
Phainon rolled his eyes, but did as he was asked. Mydei walked back calmly to the Garden of Life once more. At least the chimeras and caretakers here were used to him and did not look twice anymore.
One of the little critters in fact seemed to notice him and happily squealed, running towards him, awooing until he picked it up and cuddled it softly, earning a content purr.
Mydei snorted, but was very much not immune to the three other chimeras hustling around his feet, that he carefully had to step around.
He lead them to the side of the garden, sitting down in the shade and gesturing for Phainon to do the same. It just took a minute for half a dozen chimeras to be on top of them, dozing happily.
“I’m okay, Mydei, I don’t need extra cuddles,” Phainon said softly, though not unhappy. It showed how much he cared. Mydei just huffed, however.
“Debatable, but that’s not why I brought you here. There’s someone else who has been asking about you and I think you’ve spent enough time hiding away.”
He gestured behind, where curious eyes stared at them, not really hidden behind a bush. Seconds later another pair of eyes appeared, followed by a mop of blonde hair.
Phainon blinked and could not help but laugh as the children toppled over, landing almost perfectly in Mydei’s lap.
“Several someones,” Mydei corrected with all the calmness in the world as he hoisted one of the kids up, so she did not get squished by the others. “See, I told you, the Deliverer was fine,” he then declared towards the children, whose eyes got bigger and bigger by the second.
Phainon noted quite pleased that the small group consisted of Kremnoan and Okheman children. They had begun to mingle more recently, but he had not been sure how well that would hold up after there was no need to stay anymore. Obviously not all Kremnoans had fled the holy city as soon as they could, but he was quite happy to see the children playing together still. It made him a bit more hopeful.
“Lord Phainon, are you… an angel now?”
The question took him by surprise – and he was not quite sure how best to answer that. So he smiled and stalled for time. “Do you think this is what angels look like?”
One of the boys tilted his head. “Kinda? Mommy said they have big white wings. Yours are not white, but they are big!”
He could hardly argue with that. “Would it change anything?”
Another child shook his head. “No, but it’s cool! Can you fly??”
Phainon coughed. “Not yet, no. I’m not used to them.” He could not bring himself to lie to those big eyes staring at him in wonder. He wasn’t sure why, but they seemed very fascinated, slowly, but steadily coming closer.
Everyone in Okhema knew that Mydei loved to play with the children. Not as many people were aware that Phainon liked to partake, too, when he had the time. So they were accustomed to him as well and not shy, but he would have expected at least the dark half of his feathers to make them a bit more cautious. They were not. He sensed no hesitancy or fear, just simple and obvious curiosity.
He exchanged a glance with Mydei, who just shrugged unhelpfully. Phainon really wished he had better control now, but he at least carefully tried to open his right wing and nudge it against the children. The movement was rough, miles away from elegant or smooth, but they giggled and laughed in pure delight. It made his heart quite a bit lighter.

“You lost quite a few more,” Mydei noted as he again massaged oil into his feathers. “But the new ones are growing really well.” He suddenly paused for a moment. “Are you in shedding season?”
Oh, that amused tone, Phainon wanted to protest immediately (not that it would have done much good considering it damn right sounded like he was…), but Mydei anticipated that and pressed his fingers into the muscle knots close to his back. Phainon moaned softly and flopped down onto the bed again at once.
Mydei was playing unfair. He had far too quickly learnt exactly how to handle Phainon’s wings to trigger whatever reaction he wanted. And he was obviously enjoying it.
A single finger placed at the right spot was enough to keep Phainon down. Mydei now leaned over him, the grin still very obvious in his voice.
“You wanted to say something?”
Phainon growled, turning his head and trying rather unsuccessfully to get back up. Mydei just laughed, holding him down for maybe a minute longer, before he finally released the pressure and leaned back. “The new ones look much better, though,” He then continued as if nothing had happened. “They are softer and shinier, maybe you really needed to get the old ones off.”
Phainon sat up, opening one of the wings to take a look for himself. Mydei was right. He could tell at one glance which ones were new. They indeed appeared in much better condition and looked way healthier.
He felt eyes on him and smacked his still open wing into Mydei’s smug face.

A knock on the door. Phainon was lying in bed, on his stomach reading an Kremnoan fairytale he had found in one of Mydei’s cookbooks. Mydei had left not even half a quint ago for some business about the Kremnoans voting whether or not to stay in Okhema. Not only was it far too early for him to be back, he never knocked on his own door.
Phainon was about to ignore it – this was not his room after all – when a soft voice called his name. “Lord Phainon?”
Surprised he placed the book aside and went to get the door. “Castorice?”
She smiled at him. “Lord Mydei told me I would find you here. If you don’t mind… I would like to ask for your help.”
Phainon blinked. “Of course, what do you need help with?”
“I am learning how to tend to the Dromas,” she happily told him. “But I am having a bit of a problem reaching the shelves I need. I want to rearrange the stock, to make that easier. Would you mind getting some things down for me?”
That was… surprisingly mundane. And also explained why she probably had asked Mydei first – she just needed someone taller. And he would have happily helped her, if not for the fact, that the stables actually were not… exactly easy to reach without walking through the market place.
He contemplated the rooftops once more, but did not really want to drag Castorice along there – she no doubt would have been able to, but it seemed unnecessarily complicated. And it was probably time he faced the public.
Considering the children had seen him a few times by now, the adults likely knew anyway. He surrendered, stepping outside and pulling the door closed behind him.
“Of course. Did Professor Anaxa tell you to study them?”
She chuckled. “Not at all. Although I’m sure he would approve.”
Phainon fell into step next to her as they left the secluded area and neared the more open space of Kephale plaza.
“I like how calm they are and how easy to attend to. So much easier than the chimeras, although they are very soft and fluffy.”
Phainon smiled as Castorice provided him with a lot of observations clearly born from finally being able to touch animals without killing them. In that moment he was reminded that he was certainly not the only one adjusting.
Of course he was not. Castorice was able to come closer to humans, animals even plants. Aglaea was not as distant. Mydei was not immortal. Even Cipher had to get used to not constantly being on the run anymore. No wonder Mydei kept on telling him he was mopping around.
He was, indeed, missing all of it.
They crossed the plaza without any incident apart from two people shouting greetings at them. It felt strangely normal.
The stable was a bit tight and Phainon was very worried about swiping something down by accident, but Castorice caught on quickly, staying behind him, carefully placing herself in-between his wings and any breakables and taking the utensils from him as soon as he got them down. It was not nearly as bad had he thought it would be.
And as he handed her the last sack of treats, for the first time in weeks he felt like he had actually managed to do something useful. Castorice slipped past him, thankfully not afraid anymore to touch his feathers as she checked the shelves one last time.
“Much better, thank you so much, Lord Phainon.”
He shook his head. “Anytime, Castorice. Thank you, for dragging me out of the room.”
He manoeuvred outside again, blinking in the afternoon sun. This space had a day and night cycle and after spending most of his life in either eternal light or eternal darkness, it had been the strangest part of peace. He enjoyed it, though. It made falling asleep and getting up much easier.
“Lord Mydei said something similar, when I met him. Are you really feeling so bad about going outside?” Bless her heart, she sounded so worried.
Phainon allowed himself to sigh. “A little,” he admitted. “I am… a bit in the way.” He tried. Castorice eyed him for a moment, then tilted her head.
“I don’t think you are,” She then said. “Of course, they are big and beautiful, but you were in no-ones way. Nobody had to evade you or get pushed.”
Another sigh.
“Doors are a…” He paused. He had just passed a door and not held his wings with his hands. Maybe he was actually getting better at folding them in. He looked back, but the stable door did not appear to be particularly big. And he had not used his hands either, when he left Mydei’s room. A small victory.
“Nevermind, thank you, Castorice.”

“Lord Phainon! Good to see you again, I have some great new pieces, please drop by, if you have the time!”
Phainon waved and promised he would, knowing full well, that right now buying new antiques was not a good idea. He would probably just break them. But taking a look wouldn’t hurt.
He had really worried for nothing. So far people had either not reacted at all or been happy to finally see him again. Nobody had even commented on his wings – he was quite sure someone had warned them not to, he just had to figure out if it had been Aglaea, Tribbie or Mydei. Or maybe all three of them?
Either way he welcomed the normality of it and appreciated getting back to a more normal routine. Be it helping Trinnon in getting boxes of books to the library, discussing city affaires with Aglaea or tending to animals with Castorice.
They had even begun to plan the summer festival in about a month’s time and it felt surreal.
Although not as surreal as having actual flight lessons. Or at least something alike.
Tribbie and Trianne were hovering close, while Phainon did his best to move the wings in a way that matched their description. His control was still nowhere near perfect, but it was good enough that he could at least open and move them well enough that Tribbie had really, really wanted him to try.
Which he found a little funny considering her wings very obviously worked nothing like his. If his worked at all, that was yet to be determined after all.
“I think starting from the ground will be very difficult. Maybe you should start jumping down somewhere,” Trianne suggested with a sceptical look.
“But that sound dangerous, maybe rather stand on that wall over there and see if the wind can catch you? Like flying a kite?” Tribbie noted.
“Don’t you think he’s too big and heavy for that?”
Phainon smiled at that and while the two still argued, he actually jumped onto the small wall that lined the pathway leading outside of Okhema. It was not very high, but gave him a little bit of altitude and as he opened his wings wide, he could feel the soft winds catching his feathers.
If only he really knew what to do with that. He had seen enough birds fly to know that at some point he would probably have to flap the wings, but there was surely more to it than that.
So he instead tried to angle them a little, to have more of the wind hit him, until he felt the pull backwards. With a quick glance over to the still arguing girls, he jumped forward and for a brief moment it actually felt like he was floating, before he just as quickly tumbled down.
Phainon’s reflexes were quick enough to catch him as he stumbled onto his feet, alarming the girls.
“Snowy!”
He shook his head. “I’m fine. That did not really work, but I think I got an idea of what I have to do.”
It did not work this afternoon. And not the next day, either. But about a week later he was able to stay about two metres off ground for a minute, while Tribbie flew happily around him. It was not much, but it was a start.

One thing the flight lessons also taught him was that he could use his wings for balance. That certainly required quite a bit of space around him and would not work in every situation, but on the wide and open training grounds he could certainly use that advantage.
And Mydei most certainly did not expect him to do so judging from the bewildered look on his face when Phainon ducked much lower and more to the side to evade a punch than he normally would.
And there was another advantage he wanted to try and utilise today. Using the precious second of surprise Phainon extended the tip of his wing towards Mydei’s open chest, aiming at the lower part of his ribcage and … softly caressing the skin.
Mydei gulped trying to stifle his laugh and shot him a very angry glare, but Phainon just repeated the motion twice, before using the momentum and Mydei’s diversion to kick his feet. For the first time since they had started sparing again, it was Mydei who landed on his back with Phainon pressing him down.
“Finally,” he grinned rather satisfied with the outcome.
“Finally, you go back to cheating?” Mydei grumbled. As much as he liked to deny it, Phainon had known for a while how ticklish he was. It was his own fault for not wearing cloths over the sensitive area, wasn’t it? But he was in a good mood, he would play along.
“Finally, I am able to again, yes.”
Mydei raised his eyebrows to that, only mildly struggling in the grip, not really trying to break free.
Phainon leaned a bit lower, the smile now softer. “Finally, I can at least pretend to be your equal again,” he whispered. They were alone right now, but just in case of hidden onlookers he kept his voice still low. Then, in the frenzy of a sudden adrenaline rush, he opened his wings enough to shield them from sight and leaned even further down, daring to press a firm, but short kiss on Mydei’s lips.
Mydei blinked, startled, then growled in a deep voice. “What the hell are you on about?”
A hand shot free, firmly gripping his hair, pulling him down again and forcing him into another, longer kiss.
Phainon finally let go, opening his wings again and allowing both of them to sit up. Mydei eyed him suspiciously. “I was going to say, have you finally found your courage again, but instead you are babbling nonsense. Pretend?” He huffed.
It was far more complicated than that. One of the very first things Phainon had learnt about Kremonan culture from Mydei was that action always spoke louder than words. That was no secret after all. And the last few weeks Mydei’s actions had very clearly told him how deeply he cared, there was no doubt about it.
But Phainon was also very aware of the fact, that while it seemed Kremnoan actually had no direct translation for lover, it did not lack the meaning itself. And one of the Kremnoan soldiers actually had told him long ago, that they usually substituted the word for equal. And even if Mydei was very obviously aware of the meaning in common tongue – Phainon had wanted it to be true.
Not just for Mydei, for his own sake as well. He wanted and loved having and being a worthy sparring partner. Or partner in general. If nothing else, he wanted to be able to take Mydei in battle and allow both of them to let go and not hold anything back. Not on the training grounds and not in life.
Being unable to win a single match in almost two months had hurt more than being unable to handle his own wings. He had not felt worthy at all. And he knew Mydei didn’t care, it was obvious in the way he took care of his wings, cooked for him or pushed him outside. Only making it worse for Phainon’s heart and feeling of not being enough.
He finally felt like he could do more again. And so he certainly would. And make the most of the time they had together now.

“Can you help us with the decorations?”
How could he deny Trinnon’s request. Phainon still lacked the strength to stay in the air for longer than a few minutes at a time, but that was more than enough to get the flowers and lights up onto the rooftops for her to fasten them to whatever she could find.
And it was slowly getting more fun to fly.
Being able to not just hover in one spot, but actually move and turn made him more excited to try out more. And he was learning to move his wings on a more instinctive level. To not think about it and adjust to the air currents. Which was probably what Tribbie had been trying to teach him all along.
Learn the wind and how to use and move with it. Don’t fight it. Phainon would not have been able to explain exactly how it worked, how he adjusted singular feathers at times, but he was getting better at doing it. Slow, but steady progress.
And he could not help but smile as he took off, another basket full of flowers in his arms, while Tribbie, Trianne and Trinnon swirled around him, taking some and placing them where they wanted them to be.
This task had been pretty much theirs for the last years, if not decades. And while he was sure they did not mind, they seemed happy to have him join, pulling him back and forth in different directions all the while chatting joyfully.

Phainon was not quite convinced as he took a look into the mirror. Castorice had found the written version of an old play that used to be part of the celebrations. Or so she claimed. Aglaea and Tribbie – the only ones old enough to really know - had not exactly confirmed that fact, but they had not denied it either. (Cipher had just laughed and vanished.)
The highlight of the show was a fight basically depicting a battle between Kephale and Nikador. Of course that part was given to him and Mydei.
Phainon did not mind and he was quite sure for all of his grumpy responses, Mydei did not either. Their regular spars could still draw crowds sometimes and both were very good at tuning their surroundings out.
But Aglaea seemed to have a bit too much… fun with the costumes. I was beautiful, there was no doubt. But… “Is this really what Kephale is supposed to look like?”
She had put him into a long, white, ruffled tunic, embroidered with golden symbols along the edges and a golden belt with quite a few metal charms.
And right now she was basically sewing a long, flowy cape on him, so it would fall nicely between his wings and onto the ground. Additionally there was still quite a bit of golden armour and jewellery on the table next to her.
“We don’t actually know,” Aglaea answered unbothered by his hesitancy. “But as they are divine, I think this is quite fitting. And don’t worry, I still have a sash that will nicely match the colours of your wings.”
He was not really bothered about that, but of course it would be something she would care about. And so he watched silently as she draped the dark fabric over his chest and added another, inner layer to the cape as well. Dark blue with golden sparkles. Obviously inspired by the night sky.
Dark gloves, golden armguards, a laurel wreath for his head. A necklace, bracelets, golden boots. He felt a bit over the top. Wasn’t he supposed to fight in this?
“I brought the pearls… Oh my!” Hyacine suddenly stood in the door, a big box in her hand, mouth agape. “You look stunning!”
Phainon coughed, taken by surprise, while Aglaea chuckled softly. She did not voice the “I told you so”, but he could almost feel it as Hyacine finally got a grip again, smiled brightly at him and put down the box.
“Can you open your wings a bit for me?”
Phainon automatically did and realised moments later, what the “pearls” were for when they both started to very carefully weave strands of shimmery thread into his wings, that held white, shiny pearls. They were really going all out, weren’t they?

At least he was not alone, he realised about an hour later, when he stepped onto the stage with a big ceremonial sword in his hand and saw Mydei.
Aglaea had not held back with him, either.
Heavy, crimson robes, black fur and golden armour certainly made him look like a god. It was also the first time Phainon saw him wearing a helmet. The lion hide on his back and shoulder might be slightly overkill, put considering he was featuring pearls in his wings, he was hardly one to talk.
Phainon had to hide his smile – Mydei was wearing far more than usual. It suited him, but at the same time kind of made him itch to get the heavy cape and stuff off. Maybe later.
Mydei heavily knocked his golden lance on the ground upon entering the stage, the sound echoing loudly in the open space and the whole crowd fell deadly silent.
Phainon answered by raising his sword and (cautiously as to not throw the pearls around) opening his wings.
And he did not need to look around to know they had everyone’s attention. Mydei grinned at him and at the same time both adjusted their weapons, facing each other, waiting. Ten seconds later, they lunged forward.
Metal hit metal. Time and again. Phainon was vaguely aware that around him slowly people were starting to cheer, to applaud, to share the excitement.
But his eyes and focus was completely on Mydei and the swift motions of his lance and feet. This was not a regular spar, it was more of a dance, really. But he enjoyed it nonetheless. They had not studied a routine, this was not a planned choreography, it was both of them showing off. And it was a lot of fun.
He could have done this forever, barely even registering that Aglaea called them to stop. Only when she suddenly stepped between them, did both pause and retreat.
And suddenly everything was very, very loud. The whole space filled with cries of joy and excitement, with cheers and loud clapping. And Phainon did not want it to be over, yet.

“Phainon!”
Suddenly his mother stood in front of him, a big smile on her face, her arms wide open and he happily hugged her tight.
“Mom! Oh, and Dad! I didn’t know you were here!”
His mother softly poked his chin. “Of course we could not miss your performance – Lady Aglaea sent us a message. You’ve become so big and strong.” She pulled him down to give him a kiss.
Right. Only once in all of the cycles had she had the chance to see him come of age. Most of her memories would end somewhere around the time when he was eight or ten. Perhaps she did not even remember that one time at all.
Phainon gladly also returned his father’s embrace and realised he had outgrown him as well.
“I’m so glad to see you,” he almost whispered and found himself in a hushed conversation that did really not seem appropriate to have in the middle of a loud and cheerful festival.
They should do this in a more quiet and private space and… his eyes automatically scanned the area around them. Aglaea was deep in a conversation with Cerydra, Tribbie and Trianne were busy lightning some more torches, Castorice was seated at the edge of the table, reading a story to a small group of children around her.
And Mydei had just left two people whose cloths looked suspiciously close enough to his own that Phainon was sure they were Kremnoans. His parents maybe? There were standing too far away to be certain, were this the king and queen of Kremnos?
A very light chuckle interrupted his thoughts.
“We’ll be staying for three days. Let’s talk tomorrow,” his mother suggested with a wink. “Enjoy your partner’s presence this night, you had a splendid show.”
Phainon blinked in disbelief at the mischievous look on his mother’s face. “He’s…”
“Your sparring partner, isn’t he?” She finished and with an all too knowing glance, chuckled once more, then grabbed his father’s arm – who was also very obviously trying and failing to hide his amusement - and pulled him towards the buffet. “Have a lovely night, sweetie!”

He found Mydei on the balcony, the doors still open, leaned against the railing and still watching what was going on. He was still wearing most of the costume, but had put away the lion hide, helmet and the heavy cape to be more comfortable.
“Would you mind, lending me a hand?”
Mydei raised an eyebrow at that, but nodded nonetheless. “I have a bit of a hard time getting the pearls out of my feathers.”
At this point Mydei was probably more familiar with his wings than he was himself, so it came as no surprise that he got to work without hesitation and easily seemed to pull them off. All of his feathers looked better by now. Healthy, soft and much fuller than before. Whatever had caused the shedding, it had been a good thing. And he loved how lately Mydei had gotten into the habit of pushing down his blanket in the evening and cuddling into the wing that always draped over him at night. It felt much more familiar and closer and made Phainon start to actually like having wings.
“Are they uncomfortable?”
Phainon shook his head. “No, but I am very certain I should not try to fly with these in.”
He had, in fact, still used them for the fight earlier. But only for leverage and to stabilise his jumps. And even that had been a bit of a calculated risk.
“You want to fly?”
Mydei stood in front of him again, placing the shimmering string onto the railing. Phainon smiled softly.
“Kind of, yes.” To be really safe he would have to take off the cape as well and wear something tighter. All his regular clothing now was not floaty anymore, too big the risk of it getting caught.
But he was willing to ignore that for the moment. He was not going to try any stunts anyway.
Instead he reached out for and before Mydei could even understand, pulled him into a tight hug, the wings softly closing around them with his arms.
Mydei flinched slightly, not used to this in public spaces, but he relaxed almost instantly. People were hardly paying attention anyway.
Phainon held on even more tightly, as he opened his wings to their full size and with two strong beats got them into the air.
Mydei made a noise at that, but he did not struggle, but rather reach around Phainon’s neck.
“What the hell…?”
“I asked Tribbie how much she could carry,” Phainon explained as if they were just sitting together chatting in the gardens. “And she said about her own weight, so I figured I should be able to as well. I’m still unable to do this for long, unfortunately, but I wanted to share this beautiful view with you.”
He nodded down towards the streets.
Lit up with numerous torches, colourful lights, people dancing in lavish dresses, music, dulled by the distance, but still audible drumming through the air.
“Thank you for waiting and not giving up on me.”
Mydei huffed. “Don’t be so dramati….uh!”
He didn’t fight the kiss, he willingly went along. And for the moment Phainon could forget what had been and just happily exist in the here and now.