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Eishia basked in the feeling of Riyo’s hands running across her bare skin. Up and down her arms, hands weaving together then apart again as she continued. Gliding down her back and up to her shoulder blades as Riyo skilfully worked the lotion in, softening Eishia’s skin, slowly melting the roughness of the day away.
It had taken a while for Eishia to break down her walls and become comfortable in her and Riyo’s relationship. Not because she had any doubts about Riyo, she just wasn’t confident in herself or her ability to be a good partner to the other cleaner.
Eishia had been admiring Riyo from afar for quite some time, constantly thinking of how cool the redhead must look when she flew through the air with her vital instrument, slamming down to take out a trash beast. How sweet she is with the members of team Child. How she never backs down from a challenge, much unlike Eishia.
Eventually, with lots of (rather loud) reassurance from her brother and grandmother, Eishia decided to have courage and accept Riyo’s proposal. She’d been pining for years anyway, its not like it was really an option for her to turn Riyo down. When they decided to tell the other cleaners at HQ about their relationship, they received nothing but support.
As their relationship grew, so did Eishia’s confidence. She started to have faith in herself, started speaking up. Riyo shared her glow and helped Eishia shine. When they were alone together, Riyo was thankful she got to see Eishia unguarded; carefree with that soft, sweet, authentically her smile on her face. It was all worth it to have moments like these with each other, intimate and safe as they massaged one another while winding down for the night in Riyo’s room.
Eishia closed her eyes and sighed, focusing on the shapes Riyo kneaded into her skin from behind. The feeling of Riyo’s hands resting on her waist and nose burying into her neck signalled Eishia that the other was finished.
“You gonna do me now?” Riyo hummed into Eishia’s neck, tickling the skin against her jaw.
She put her hands over Riyo’s, looking at her girlfriend in the mirror and watching how her long braids crept over her frame. She was beautiful.
“Mhm, in a minute… you look pretty like this.”
“Ooh, so bold today Eish, I like how you still find ways to come out of your shell and surprise me,” Riyo giggled softly. Her hands slid up Eishia’s sides as she lifted her head off the shorter girl’s shoulder, making space to rest her hands there instead.
“Riyo… don’t make me regret it…” a pink blush spread across Eishia’s cheeks. “Your turn now?”
“Sure baby, whenever you’re ready.” She pressed a brief kiss to Eishia’s cheek, squeezing just below the base of her jaw playfully before attempting to switch positions with Eishia.
In a split second, Eishia’s demeanour changed completely.
She whipped her head around and her eyes jolted wide. Her hands flew up to push past Riyo as she scrambled to find something to cover up with. Something was very clearly wrong compared to mere moments before. As Eishia ran out of the room whimpering and crying, Riyo stood alone, wondering what had just happened.
Where she went wrong.
Riyo quickly put on her own clothes and walked to Eishia’s room. What would she say to her? How should she ask what she did? Would Eishia even want to talk? Riyo wondered these things as she approached her girlfriend's door, her cries growing louder as Riyo got closer.
“Eishia?”
Suddenly it was near silent, Eishia having hushed her cries out of intense fear. Was she scared of Riyo?
“Can I come in babe? I don’t know what happened but I’m really sorry. Can we talk about it?” No answer. Only the sound of quiet sniffling could be heard through the door.
Oh. Riyo attempted to turn the door handle, only to discover that it had been locked. She turned her back and slumped down against the wall, now sitting on the floor next to Eishia’s room. “I didn’t mean to scare you Eish, I’m sorry. I’m not gonna force you to talk, but I’m here when you’re ready.”
Riyo sat for a minute longer, just in case. Eventually, she sighed and stood up, walking back to her room with a slight trudge in her step to spend the night alone.
Eishia heard Riyo’s footsteps recede and peeked her head out from under the covers. Was it safe to come out? In amongst her crying she did hear Riyo say that she meant no harm, it was Eishia who overreacted to such a small thing and ruined their evening.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and turned to face the clock on her nightstand. 11.42PM.
Riyo wouldn’t want to be bothered anymore, I should just sleep…
Eishia bundled herself back up and closed her eyes, running a hand through her hair just like Riyo would do to soothe her when she was upset. It didn’t have the same effect that night.
Riyo woke up early the next morning, the weight of last night still hanging over her. She didn’t have time to think about it now, Semiu was probably already waiting to brief her on today’s missions.
As she picked up her jacket and slid The Ripper into her pocket, she decided it couldn’t hurt to check on Eishia before she left.
Riyo found herself in front of Eishia’s bedroom door again, replaying the scenes from last night in her head. She took a deep breath and hesitantly reached out to open it.
It was unlocked this time. Something Riyo hadn’t expected.
She took a cautious step through the doorway, so as not to spook her girlfriend if she noticed. That seemed unlikely though; Eishia was fast asleep, evident by the way her brow knit together and how she frowned softly, a telltale sign of hers that she was in the midst of a nightmare. Riyo debated wether it was better to wake her up and relieve her of the dream, or to stay away. She didn’t know how Eishia would react, last nights wound not yet scabbed over.
She knelt by the head of Eishia’s bed, dithering before deciding to reach out a hand and gently stroke a stray clump of hair off of the girl's face. A feather light touch like this would’ve settled her any other day.
Instead, Eishia awoke with a startle and started crying almost immediately, pushing herself to the other side of the bed to escape Riyo’s touch like an upset puppy. Riyo herself jumped and retracted her hand, suddenly realising she made the wrong choice.
“Eishia I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“Just gooo, please, leave me alooone…” Eishia managed to get out between sobs. Riyo mumbled a sorry as she stood up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her, feeling the most guilt she ever had.
Attempting to lose the lump in her throat, Riyo made her way down to the lobby to meet the other cleaners assigned to the mission. She could definitely use a distraction right now.
Driving along the dirt road, Enjin waited for the conversation to die down before directing a question to Riyo.
“You okay Riyo? You’re awfully quiet this morning. I know its kind of an early job but you’re usually raring to go. Didn’t see you at breakfast, either.”
Riyo had been trying to forget last night and how she made it worse that morning, Enjin’s unwelcome reminder leaving a bad taste in her mouth.
“Yeah, just didn’t sleep all that well.” Not a lie, not the full truth either. As for breakfast, she’d opted to eat alone that morning, claiming to herself that she was unworthy of the company. “Nothing like taking down some trash beasts to wake me up though! How long until we’re there?”
“Just under 10 minutes. And don’t worry, they’ll be plenty to go ‘round.” Enjin sensed something off in her tone but dropped the questions, refocusing his attention to the radio. “Damn, I love this song!”
Riyo spent the remainder of the car ride staring out the window at nothing, tuning out the conversations around her. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it and shake the thoughts, Eishia’s crying eyes had burned themselves into Riyo’s memory.
How could she have thought that what she did this morning was the right thing? Eishia clearly wanted space last night, she should’ve assumed the same for the next day. She was so upset and Riyo still didn’t fully understand why. They were enjoying their time together one moment, sweet, soft, gentle and genuine. Eishia was a sobbing, shaking mess the next. Was it how she touched the other girl, or Riyo in general? She’d never seen her girlfriend with so much fear in her eyes before, and to think she was the one that caused it made her stomach churn, a deeply uneasy feeling settling in the pit.
Riyo was pulled out of her thoughts when the car screeched to a halt, the other cleaners rolling out.
“Riyo! You coming with us girl?”
“Yeah, coming!” She couldn’t think about Eishia right now, there was cleaning to be done. She plastered a smile on her face and ran up to meet the others on site.
No time was wasted; the group being rushed by the herd of trash beasts almost immediately. Riyo dodged once and sliced another in half, barely having time to activate her vital instrument before the beast was in two before her. She was promptly charged by another before that one was taken out with a second swift slash. These weren’t big beasts, but they were fast and aggressive, and advanced in a far larger group than the Cleaners had been informed of. Zanka and Enjin had their hands full with a couple of larger beasts, Gris crushing another with his fist before sending it Rudo’s way for him to finish off.
Riyo expertly swung her instrument around and took out a half a dozen more beasts before standing on the crumbling pile and looking around, checking on her teammates. Rudo was finishing up his last beast, same with Zanka and Enjin, high fiving as they each took one out simultaneously. Riyo wiped the sweat from her forehead and went to hop off the pile when she sensed movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned to see Enjin bolting towards her and taking off with his Umbreaker as Zanka yelled in her direction.
“Riyo, no!”
She assumed that they’d cleaned up all the beasts, but the biggest one had crept up behind her. Any other day she would’ve noticed how it slunk silently behind the piles of junk, but today it completely eluded her senses.
She turned around to face the beast as it lashed out at her, striking at her head and knocking her off balance, sending her tumbling down the heap. She landed with a too-heavy thud; unconscious.
Zanka noticed the unnatural position she was laying in, alarm bells ringing in his head as he sprinted to her limp body. Enjin rushed over to the pair after destroying the remaining beast. He knelt on the ground next to her, picking up her wrist and checking for a pulse.
Still there, still strong.
Enjin breathed a sigh of relief. “She’s okay. Still with us.” He watched as Zanka let one go too.
By now, Gris and Rudo had jogged over to see what went down. After giving her another once-over, Enjin instructed Gris to pick up Riyo’s unconscious body and set her in the Jeep. They’d be able to have Eishia heal any lasting injuries once they were back at HQ.
Enjin felt slightly guilty he didn’t press Riyo more on the drive out there. He was not just responsible for the lives of team Akuta but their wellbeing too, and something was clearly up with Riyo this morning. They could talk about it once he knew she was in the clear for good.
As Gris walked through the dust back to the Jeep, Riyo stirred in his arms. Bringing a groggy hand up to clutch her head, she groaned in pain.
“That’s good, you’re awake. I was starting to get worried. Enjin saw that trash beast hit your head pretty hard so I’m not surprised you’re in pain, but Eishia will be able to take care of you once we get back.” It took her a minute to focus her eyes and register what Gris had said.
Eishia.
At the mention of the name, Riyo was suddenly wide awake and hopping out of Gris’ arms with newfound determination to prove she was fine by walking back to the car on her own.
“It’s fine! I don’t need to see her, I’m sure it didn’t get me that bad, I’ll be good to just sleep it off but thanks! Great job everyone!” She quickened her pace and arrived at the car with a stumble, jumping in and swiftly shutting the door behind her.
Enjin caught up to Gris and exchanged looks with the other man. Yeah, not good.
Riyo was silent again on the drive home.
Everyone bounced out of Enjin’s car as it rolled up outside Cleaner HQ. Before she could slink away, Enjin called out to Riyo.
“Yo Riyo, hang back a sec, I’ll go with you to the infirmary to get checked-”
“Its all good Enjin, I don’t even feel it anymore so I’m gonna go inside, ‘kay?” Riyo cuts him off with no malice, just ready to hide away in her room after fumbling so bad during the mission.
Enjin places a large hand on her shoulder to prohibit her from walking any further.
“I don’t know what’s going on right now, but you were knocked unconscious during that fight. That’s not something you should just walk off, kid. Why don’t you wanna see Eishia?”
A cold ‘it’s nothing’ is all that came out of Riyo’s mouth before she rolled her shoulders to get Enjin’s hand off and walked inside the building, leaving him standing alone.
On the way up to her room, Eishia’s reactions the previous night and that morning still wouldn’t leave Riyo alone. All she could do was replay them over and over, replay the terrified look on Eishia’s face, replay how she ran out of the room, replay how culpable Riyo felt.
As her sluggish steps reached the hallway, Riyo wondered if she should try and communicate again or if doing so would only worsen the situation. She slowed in front of Eishia’s door but before she could make a decision she was rudely interrupted by a familiarly erratic voice coming from around the corner.
“Sup Riyo! You lookin’ for Eishey? ‘Cause she ain’t in there!” August’s unhinged volume was not the most pleasing sound to hear after a head injury.
“Yeah, I was… is she okay? I just wanted to see if we could talk.”
“Oh, she is in-con-solable! Won’t let anyone near her, even me, even though she’s in my workshop. But I’ll let her know!”
Riyo stumbled over her words, eventually saying nothing as August turned on his heel and skipped away.
Arriving at her own room, Riyo fell face-first onto her bed, not bothering to take off her jacket or shoes before letting the strong grasp of sleep take over her body. Her problems could at least wait until her head stopped throbbing.
Riyo spent the following days throwing herself into missions to distract from the spiralling thoughts about Eishia. Day after day, she found herself at the front desk listening to Semiu’s briefings, completing the cleanings, and back at Semiu’s desk asking for more work. Every so often she would saunter by the tall steel doors of August’s workshop, wishing Eishia would come out and talk. She swung by the infirmary in the same manner to no avail.
At Semiu’s desk for a job briefing once again, Semiu held Riyo back for a minute.
“Is Eishia all good? She hasn’t been at the infirmary when we’ve needed her all this week. I thought you’d be the best person to ask for obvious reasons but now that I think about it, I’ve barely seen you together.”
Riyo averts her eyes, an obvious sign Semiu picks up. “Is it something between the two of you?” Riyo stays silent, willing Semiu with her mind not to activate her instrument.
“Right… woman to woman Riyo, if you and her don’t sort whatever this is out soon, its gonna become a problem for all the cleaners who need healing. Finish this job then go talk to her.”
Mumbling something of an acknowledgement under her breath, Riyo went to join the other cleaners assigned to the job.
Contrary to Semiu’s request before she left, when Riyo arrived back she made a beeline for her room. She didn’t go via the infirmary, August’s workshop, or her girlfriend’s dorm. She had barely sat down when a knock sounded at her door.
“Yo Riyo, you in there? Let me in girl, I wanna talk,” It was Enjin.
Riyo was really not in the mood to talk to anyone. She’d been completely drained between overworking herself and overthinking how badly she’d upset Eishia. Enjin came through the door anyway.
“So… is there something up with you and Eishia recently?” The bed creaked slightly under Enjin’s weight as he situated himself next to Riyo. “Usually you’re attached at the hip, but I’ve barely seen you together all week.”
“Did Semiu put you up to this?” Her tone was tired and flat.
“Did Semiu- nope, I’m here completely of my own accord, just wanted to check on you.”
Riyo would have to confront the situation eventually. Enjin would listen, that she was sure of, even if he might not be able to fix everything. She took a breath and started talking.
As the words poured out, tears started to form in the corners of Riyo’s eyes. She didn’t realise how much she’d been holding in until she was leaning into Enjin’s side, sobbing with her face pressed to his baggy shirt. Enjin had a hand on Riyo’s back, rubbing in firm, comforting circles and encouraging her to let it all go.
Once her sobs had calmed and turned into quiet sniffles, Enjin started to talk.
“Sounds like you didn’t mean any harm, but she was hurt anyway. Everyone has things they don’t tell others. You know that firsthand, yeah?” His hand moved to brush soothingly over Riyo’s head, helping her calm further. “You probably touched a sensitive nerve by accident, don’t beat yourself up over it. She’ll talk when she’s ready, but Semiu’s right, we do kinda need her back doing her job a-s-a-p,”
Riyo interjected. “So she did put you up to this…”
“She only asked if I’d seen you talk to Eishia! Then told me to ‘go make it happen’ so yeah, maybe a little, but I want to help you out too. I’m a good team leader after all.” A smirk spread across his face at the last sentence. It made Riyo chuckle the smallest amount.
“How am I gonna talk to her, Enjin? She definitely didn’t want to talk to me the other day, I don’t know how it could be different now.”
He paused in thought, looking down at Riyo empathetically. “What if we got someone non-threatening to talk to her first? Zanka comes to mind. With your permission, I could explain it all to him and he could talk to Eishia, that way she might take more kindly to working it out with you. How does that sound?”
Riyo wiped her eyes and sat up slightly. “Okay.”
Enjin returned within a few minutes, sharing the news that Zanka was willing to help. His arms squeezed tightly around Riyo in a hug, reassuring her that Eishia would come around.
From where she was hidden under her covers, Eishia heard a soft thumping on her door. Then a voice.
“Hey, it’s Zanka, can you let me in?” A very small no made its way out of the scared girl’s mouth. “Please Eishia?”
She could only curl tighter in her blankets, squeezing her eyes shut, wishing to be left alone. Eishia had only emerged from August’s workshop the previous evening, longing for the familiarity of her own bed again. Her brother's bed was okay, she was thankful August let her stay until she was ready, but it was hard to get any proper rest with the constant near ear-piercing noise level that was maintained inside.
Zanka’s voice pushed through her train of thought.
“Please Eishia? I just wanna talk, the cleaners are worried about you.” Her eyes softened just a little, her brain starting on a new thought: she hated people worrying about her more than anything.
Eishia pushed the fear aside for a moment. Was it really okay to let Zanka in? He probably wouldn’t hurt her, he wasn’t that kind of guy, but the smallest what if danced around in the back of her mind. Her hands fidgeted restlessly as she sat up, weighing up her options. A breath filled her lungs, and she opened her mouth to speak.
“Fine. But please, don’t wave your hands around.”
Zanka’s eyes took a minute to adjust to the near darkness of Eishia’s room. Her window was closed and her bed messy, save for the blanket tightly wrapped around her. Despite how snug she appeared, the blanket was noticeably looser around her neck. This must be what Enjin told him about. “Can I sit down?”
Although she nodded, Eishia huddled to the edge of the bed furthest from Zanka. Taking this as a sign, he sat down on the far side with his back facing her, subtly letting her know that he posed no threat.
“What’s going on Eishia?” Zanka spoke soft and slowly, his tone laced with care. “You’ve been hiding all week. Riyo’s upset that she might’ve really hurt ya.”
Eishia winced at the mention of her girlfriend's name. Would she still want to be her girlfriend after being ignored all week? It wasn’t Riyo’s fault after all; just an accident that Eishia blew out of proportion. How was she going to face her again… Eishia couldn’t think about that now, Zanka was sitting right there waiting for an answer.
“It’s not her, I just got scared when she did that thing… she didn’t know, I hadn’t told her and she was just being playful, so it isn’t her fault…”
Zanka’s voice cut through the silence trailing off Eishia’s words. “Wanna tell me what she did?”
The Stilza parents, before their death, were not good people. Even though she was small at the time, Eishia remembered that much. Her father would come home in the evenings, anger billowing off him, put his hands on Eishia, and wouldn’t stop hounding her with his fists until August’s little hands hit and scratched back at him in an attempt to help his sister. He would yell and scream, blaming her for things she’d never done. He’d put his hands around her little neck on more than one occasion, throwing her into the nearest wall during fits of rage then leave her to wail and sob alone. August and their grandmother were the only other people who knew what Eishia had endured.
“Riyo didn’t know but it reminded me of how scared he made me feel back then when she squeezed me like that. I was going to tell her eventually, but I hadn’t gotten the chance yet. I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess, Zanka,” tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over at the memories. She pulled the blanket around her just a little bit tighter.
“Don’t feel sorry, Eish. I can see how scared you are still, that must’ve been really hard to say. Thank you for telling me.” Zanka twisted the corner of the bedsheet between his fingers sympathetically. “I don’t wanna rush ya, but you might have to tell her soon. This can’t blow over unless yer honest with her.” Deep down, Eishia already knew.
Zanka could sense the hesitance in her silence.
“I can stay in the room while ya talk to her if it’ll help ya feel safer.” He suggested.
Eishia swivelled on the bed to face Zanka’s back, still huddled in her duvet. “Thanks, Zanka, but I think I need to do this on my own.”
“Okay. Take a breath then. You love Riyo after all, you can do this.” Respecting her decision, Zanka stood up, giving Eishia a thumbs up and a smile as he closed her door behind him.
In the few minutes Zanka was gone, Eishia took deep breaths and told herself not to worry, it was only Riyo. In the past week she’d spent alone and feeling sorry for herself, she’d missed Riyo more than anything. It’s hard wanting to love someone you’re afraid of at the same time. But Riyo wasn’t her dad, once Eishia had explained everything she’d be able to love Riyo again, and hopefully Riyo would be able to love her too.
A small knock comes from the other side of Eishia’s door. She calls out meekly to let the person on the outside know it was okay to enter.
The door swung open slowly. Riyo’s head peeked out around the side, holding a worried, sympathetic look on her features.
“Hey, Eishia.” her eyes flickered from Eishia to the floor and back again. Riyo hovered undecidedly in the doorway for a moment before walking in and perching on the bed. She sat next to Eishia, still keeping distance between them. “Um, well first I just really wanted to say sorry-”
“No! I mean, thank you, but it isn’t your fault. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while but just haven’t found the right moment. Let me tell you now?” Eishia’s eyes wandered the space between them, awaiting Riyo’s answer.
“Of course, Eish.”
Eishia finished repeating her past, the blanket now loose around her middle, her head in her girlfriend’s lap as she cried the last of her tears. It wasn’t scary anymore, Riyo’s hands carding through her hair feeling like a safe escape from everything once again. Riyo had apologised profusely, solemnly promising never to touch her that way without permission again. Eishia didn’t hold the action against her, just like Riyo didn’t hold it against Eishia that it took a week of hiding to be ready to face Riyo again. Eishia herself had promised she would take a look at Riyo’s concussion the next day, though not before quietly scolding her for avoiding the care she needed.
Rolling onto her back, Eishia looked up sleepily into Riyo’s eyes. Having her hands in her hair after crying so much was almost the most comforting thing in the world, she concluded. She cuddled her face up to the soft fabric of Riyo’s shirt, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent.
“I bet you’re tired after all that, huh? Wanna sleep?” Feeling Riyo’s stomach rise and fall gently against her face and hearing her low voice were definitely enough to lull Eishia to sleep right then and there. Instead, she answered Riyo’s question with a tired yeah and sat up, adjusting herself slightly.
Standing up in unison, Eishia walked over to her dresser to find some comfortable sleep clothes to change into, while Riyo headed for the door. Before she could give Eishia privacy and bid her goodnight, she felt an outstretched hand close around her wrist.
“Riyo… stay with me tonight?”
Smiling, she took a step back inside the room while Eishia turned around to fish out the shirt she kept tucked away for Riyo. Both girls changed, stealing soft glances here and there, then slid back into Eishia’s bed, warm and comforting, even more so now that they were together again. She felt Riyo’s arm wrap around her waist as they cuddled close, breathing each other in. A kiss was placed on a shoulder, another on a soft cheek as they spoke quiet words to one another before falling asleep in their joined embrace.
Both girls slept better than they had in a long time.